Splurge Tuesday’s TPS Report: Printed Origami Dress

Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

Happy Tuesday! Today I’m in love with this gorgeous Blumarine dress. The origami folds, the printed wool-jersey, the classic shape — lovely. I particularly think the folds at the waist would be flattering. It’s $1,325 at Neiman Marcus. Blumarine Printed Origami Dress

Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail [email protected]


  1. layered bob :

    Update: Thanks for the advice last week on a last-minute outfit for DH’s interview with a big conservative company – the interview went great and he felt comfortable, even though he wasn’t wearing his usual tee and jeans! Found him a dark suit at Macy’s for <$300 and had my tailor do same-day alterations. He also needed new shoes and belt so the whole outfit ended up being most of our clothing budget for the next 6 months, but we just found out he has another interview with another company, so he'll get use out of it!

    When it rains it pours, I guess. Neither of us have had any career movement for the last year and now we both have new opportunities. Anyway, thanks for the help, hive!

    • layered bob :

      and… WRT the dress… the origami dress would not work for me but the Oscar de la Renta in the “you may also like” section of the Neiman Marcus page? ooh baby. yes please. some other decade when I have more disposable income. On the weekend thread we were talking about sewing our own clothes and I think a dress that shape is on my “to make” list for the summer.

      • can you link to that dress? it doesn’t come up for me.

        • layered bob :


          • love it! thanks! :)

          • layered bob :

            yeah… earlier I said sewing isn’t always cheaper because of the time involved, but I’m pretty sure I could make a dress this shape for less than $2150, even with expensive fabric and a muslin mock-up to get the pattern right :-)

          • layered bob – as a sewist, I agree. Even if you use expensive silk twill or something, that dress shouldn’t take so long to make that the time makes it more expensive.

            And for me, I don’t count the value of my time when I sew because it’s my hobby and I enjoy it. If I didn’t sew, the time I spend sewing would be spent on another hobby, or watching TV, or something like that.

            Great dress, btw. I love the shape, and if I sew my own I could add sleeves!

          • layered bob, CKB:

            I’ve been learning to sew as well. I agree, sewing isn’t cheaper if the comparison is an outfit on sale or at H & M. There’s a lot of R & D involved. :-) No matter what sites for neophyte sewers suggest, garment construction requires a lot of tools and the better they are the better the result, as well as the fact that it’s a more pleasurable process.

            But if you’re hard to fit, or have particular tastes, like quality, and have a number of successes (nothing works all the time), it’s well worth it.

    • I remember you – that is great! I think every man needs a dark suit and I bet you’ll find he wears it for more than just interviews. Good luck to you both on the job front!

  2. Tired Squared :

    I love this dress. I don’t have $1300 to spend on it, but I LOVE.

  3. Blonde Lawyer :

    Hey EC MD – I commented on your funny rant last night and other posters thought I was suggesting you were “trolling.” Just in case you read it that way too, I know you are a regular poster and I wasn’t calling your post out. I thought the litany of people disagreeing with you all under the screen name “anon” were all just one person trying to support their disagreement with you. I was not calling you a troll. I was calling the “anons” a troll.

    I am now laughing at myself for taking the time to explain this and realizing this is beyond first world problems – probably bordering on [name of this site] addiction problems.

    • No worries. I knew what you mean. You gave me a smile this morning. Cheers.

      • My goodness, I log off for a long weekend and I find a hullabaloo over what seems to me like a typical “I need to vent” post.

        EC MD, I just chuckled at your original post and about what your FIL ate. And, I have to “out” myself as someone who …”eats that much.” Now you know never to have me as a houseguest. When I am home, I eat my way through the fridge. If my place were made of gingerbread, I’d start on the walls, too. :-)

        • LOL me too. When I read her post, I kept thinking that I’d get along great with her FIL. Eating buddies!

    • I may be setting myself up to be “anonned” here, but… I didn’t see the posts referred to here, but it really bothers me when people post catty/mean/snotty/accusatory etc comments under the screen name anon. I realize that you could use the name “Jane Doe” and be just as anonymous, but there is something about using the name “anon” to write something that is meant to call out or belittle or whatever the original poster that really rubs me the wrong way. I understand going anonymous to post a comment that is embarrassing or might identify you or reveals highly personl information, that sort of thing, but going “anon” for the purpose of something in a negative way to the original poster is something bullies do. Any bullying is just plain wrong, no matter what form it takes.

      • Anon Jane Doe :

        Now you are just being picky. What does it matter?

      • I missed this controversy. I haven’t commented on Corporette in ages. I do, however, frequently use “anon” as a user name. I never used it to attack someone, although I certainly don’t agree with every post I encounter here.

    • I posted one of the comments, and I’m not a troll – I’m a regular poster. I thought that EC MD’s follow up comment was very gracious and thoughtful too.

    • I was one of the anons too and am not a troll. I always post as anon.

    • So what I’m getting from your posts here, Blonde Lawyer, is that EC MD is a troll.

      • Damn, Herbie. Way to ruin it for everyone.


        • I will now commence posting under various aliases about how correct I am (and also how ridiculously, ridiculously good-looking I am).

      • Well…this is what I know about her. She hates her father and law and wants to starve him. She makes her child sleep in hospitals in cars. And she wears yoga pants to the ER.

        Definitely a troll.


        • Yoga pants to the ER? A smart troll, at the very least. ;-)

        • But a troll that belongs to this site because as I recall, she has acquired an expensive purse acquisition habit. Love you Dr. Troll!

          • I have a question for the hive. I am drop dead gorgeous and in great shape. I have a giant diamond ring from my venture capitalist fiance, and am planning a $500,000 wedding in Greece that everyone will be flying in for. The problem is my bridesmaids. They are not being supportive of my wedding plans and whining about such minor details as, “the airfare and hotel are going to cost $2000” (as if I’m going to hold my wedding in a cheap place!) and “why do we have to buy Vera Wang bridesmaids dresses and Jimmy Choo shoes” (like I want my bridesmaids representing me in some knockoff gown!) and “have you ever seen that show Bridezillas?”

            So my question for the hive is, are my friends just jealous of how great my life is going? How I can I get even with them while still making sure they will be in my wedding? (They are my thinnest and best looking friends and I don’t want to have to go with the second string of less attractive bridesmaids.)

          • I wouldn’t fly across the world just to be caught out in Vera Wang and Jimmy Choos, either. Where are your bridesmaids getting fitted, Bluefly?? Maybe once you stop dressing your star players in second-string duds, they’ll get with the program.

          • I know. At least Monique Lhullier (god…at least) and Loboutins or really, what’s the point?

    • Man, just when I was breaking my addiction to this site you guys have kept me laughing all morning! :-) I needed it too, I’m so sleepy and have SO much piled up after the long weekend!

      EC MD, hope people were smart and respectful up there this weekend, what crazy weather! I had some fb acquaintances going up there for a batchelorette party and couldn’t resist when I saw them posting about packing their bikinis to lay by the pool…”Um, in the snow??” Oh they were mad. Nobody expects snow in CA in May!!

      • Um, did I get moderated for “batch*lor*tt*?? Weird!

        • I used to get moderated all the time for writing “C-rtte,” even if I asterisks out certain early letters – I’m convinced that the bot moderates for the “r-e-t-t-e” combination, so I’ve adjusted according.

          • Interestingly though, i posted on the weekend thread something about “dudettes’ and that was cool. So…yeah, moderation is a fickle beast.

          • That makes sense. Oh, you fickle, fickle moderation bot! :-)

        • momentsofabsurdity :

          Now “r-e-t-t-e” gets moderated, so I wouldn’t be surprised.

  4. Nashville :

    Love the dress.

    I’m headed to Nashville for a few days. Any recommendations on good places to eat? I’m staying near the Opryland covention center. I’d love to get some great BBQ, but I’m also interested in some nice/fun places to take clients. Thanks!

    • You’re staying at Gaylord Opryland? Then in many ways, you’re not really staying in “Nashville.” Opryland is outside of town and the restaurants are not so hot around there (think chains and not-so-great southern food). Your two options, in my mind, are to stay inside the resort (which is admittedly awesome, esp. after the post-flood renovations) or to take their bus or a cab into town. Inside the resort, I’ve had great meals at the Jack Daniels Tavern and at the Old Hickory Steakhouse. (The steakhouse has a to-die-for cheese course.) If you are willing to leave the resort, let me know and I’ll provide more options in the downtown/mid-town area.

      • Thanks! We are willing/planning to leave the resort for at least one night, so I’m interested in your other recommendations.

        • If you come into downtown and want BBQ, the best place to go is Jack’s on Broadway. It’s not necessarily the “best” BBQ ever, but it’s quite good and it’s on Broadway (in the heart of the honky-tonks). If you want “nice” food and are downtown, in my opinion your best bet is Merchant’s. There is also Puckett’s, which is southern food (and has decent BBQ) up the hill at the corner of Church and 5th. Puckett’s was an old grocery store in Lieper’s Fork (an area south of town where a lot of celebs now live) and it’s morphed into a great restaurant and bar. They have live music a lot of the time. There is a new restaurant called the Southern Steak & Oyster in the bottom of the Pinnacle Building that is really good and getting good reviews, too. They have a great brunch. And if you don’t want to go downtown, there’s a ton of good options in mid-town and in the gulch. These are more “local” places, much less touristy.

    • Can I come with you? I’ve been wanting to go forever!

    • The Stockyard Restaurant – incredible (also $$$$). You have to drive through a somewhat sketchy part of town/or, alternatively, we got lost – but it was so worth it.
      I’ve been discussing it ever since we went there during a trip to check out Vanderbilt Law 7 years ago, and I’ll be bringing it up 7 more years from now. Just really, really phenomenal. I’d easily indenture one of my children for a slice of their key lime pie.

    • I just came back from Nashville! It was awesome. The whole Opryland thing was totally surreal though. I am not a country music fan, so maybe this is common knowledge to others but the Opry is just a huge 1960 style auditorium surrounded by a massive parking lot, a giant discount mall called Opry Mills, an IMAX theater and lots of chain restaurants. I was expecting like an old antebellum theater or something like that. It was as if Rockefeller center was actually in some sort of suburban strip mall from the 1960s. If you are staying there expect to drive everywhere.

      We stayed in downtown actually didn’t move our car for 36 hours because everything that we did was actually walkable.

      We also went to Puckett’s Grocery which was tasty bbq. We also went to Bolton’s chicken and fish to get some “hot chicken” which is a local classic. That was ok. It was a decent hole-in-the-wallish place but the hot chicken was not mind blowing. Maybe there are better places?

      Also, we went to the Loveless cafe that is about 45 minutes outside of town and totally worth it.

      We of course visited some honky tonk bars on Broadway which was fun and had good live music and went to a cool karaoke bar on painters alley that i would recommend.

      Have a great trip!

      • For what it’s worth, the Opry was originally at the Ryman Auditorium – a lovely old church looking building in downtown Nashville – but moved about 30 years ago or so out to the Opryland area.

        • Yes, I read that while I was down there. Ryman Theater was a lot more what I was mentally picturing.

          Nashville is a great city and we had a blast. The state of Tennessee is beautiful as well. We drove on rural roads down to Lynchburg to see the Jack Daniels distillery and had a really good time too.

    • My parents lived in Nashville for about 10 months, and my favorite place to go was Pancake Pantry, near Vanderbilt Hospital. Seriously, its the best pancakes I’ve ever had. I love the sweet potato and the cornmeal, but all are good. I also like how militant the line to get in is. There are rules, and you will follow them.

      If you are looking for a trip farther afield, I really had fun at the Jack Daniels factory tour in Lynchburg. There’s a really good family style Southern restaurant near there (can’t remember the name) and even though its all very constructed, the tour is interesting and it’s a nice way to get a little bit out in the country and see how beautiful Tennessee is.

      I feel like my suggestions are uber-touristy, but they are the things I liked the best about visiting my parents.

    • Like Anon said, the Opryland area is pretty much a vast wasteland when it comes to good food. In other areas: Germantown Cafe and City House in the Germantown area just outside of downtown; Margot and Marche and Holland House in East Nashville, which is at least on the Opryland side of the river. Someone mentioned hot chicken, and IMHO Prince’s is the gold standard there – but, you need plenty of time and patience to wait for your order and an unseemly amount of aggression to grab a table. Not sure I’d bother with it if I didn’t have a car. The Capitol Grille downtown, in the Hermitage Hotel, is great. Much of the food, animal and vegetable, is raised on their own farm. It will look very chichi and glossy, but really, business casual or nice casual would be just fine. The Oak Bar next to it is a nice place to get a drink. For lunch, cab it to the Farmer’s Market and eat at [email protected] It is an outpost sort of place for Arnold Myint, who was a Top Chef contender.

      • Seconding all of Lilly’s recs – especially City House which is my favorite restaurant in town. And adding that No. 308 bar is also a nice mixed drink bar with great music and an interesting crowd most of the time.

        For BBQ, I’d go with Jack’s or Martin’s (if you have some time to kill). Martin’s is south of town and very near Arrington Vineyards; we like to pick up a BBQ picnic and take it to Arrington to eat on their grounds. Of course, you can buy wine there, but they don’t mind if you just hang out and take in the view of the vineyards/countryside.

        My parents and niece stayed in the Opryland Hotel over Memorial Day weekend; husband and I live in East Nashville. It was usually about 20 minutes for us to go to them or them to us. Same for downtown/Vanderbilt area.

    • Nashvillian :

      I agree with Anon about the problems with Opryland…with ONE restaurant exception. Go to the Scoreboard and order the hot chicken. It is my favorite hot chicken in Nashville (yes, even better than Prince’s or Bolton’s or Pepperfire) and it’s right near Gaylord Opryland.

      As for the other posters- Pancake Pantry is cool, I guess, but they were recently in the news for low health ratings (and the line is usually out the door). Holland House is a great restaurant/bar in East Nashville, but Patterson House has better drinks (and much better service).

      And Germantown Cafe IS fantastic, as is their sister restaurant in East Nashville, Germantown Cafe East. The menus are a little different but have similar things. East is probably less crowded than the original. Also in East Nashville- Rumours East is a fantastic wine bar with a great outdoor seating area; Sky Blue Cafe has a nice brunch (as does Marche)…and if you want to go really casual, check out 5 points pizza or Mas Tacos Por Favor.

      Make sure you give yourself at least 1 night to spend on Broadway. As touristy as it is, it is the best karaoke you will ever hear, the most talented buskers in the world, and the honkytonks are also, hands down, the best people watching. Ever.

    • And to threadjack this threadjack – are there enough of us in Nashville for a meetup? I’ve only lived here a few years and still haven’t made many girlfriends that are just mine (not part of friend-couples).

      • I think it would be great, however, I’m now a couple of hours away from Nashville. (Boo. Hiss. ). It would take fortuitous timing for me to make it.

        • Grrrr. Arrgh. Well, hopefully we can round up enough of us at least once over the summer to do something over a fortuitously-timed weekend.

  5. I love it also, but OMG, it is way to expensive! I would need the manageing partner to give me a big raise and then get the reembursment over 50%. He made it CLEAR that is NOT going to haapen, and that is after he called me Saturday to go to his family’s house for a barbeque! Fooey!

    I changed my plan’s just to GO, and his BROTHER’s family was there also. The brother look’s just like the manageing partner BUT with a little hair on the sides. He was busy sneezeing all over the Potatoe salad, but said it was just Hay Fever? Who care’s? It was GROSS! I did NOT eat much, and that was a good thing, b/c I still have to loose about 10 pounds before I can get into a size 4. Fooey! The sister-in-law, Madeline, says I am very cute, but I know I have to loose more before I can go to the beach.

  6. I think this is too busy for me, but luckily I can’t afford it so it’s a non-issue.

    • Agreed. I want to like it, but something about the combination of the print + all the folding is just–not working. If it was a solid color I think I’d be all over it.

  7. HP question :

    Question for all you Potter-phile ladies – I’ve tried seeing if JK answered this, but don’t think so. I re-read Deathly Hallows and keep dwelling on how H ultimately defeated V. It seems too random to be satisfying that the outcome of the battle would depend (at least in part) on the chain of events letting H get the Elder Wand allegiance (Snape not really winning it b/c Draco got there first, and then H’s grabbing Draco’s normal wand at the Malfoys’).

    So let’s pretend Dumbledore’s original plan worked – Snape kills Dumbledore in accordance with their plan (so the wand was never “won” – so despite V killing Snape, V would not have the allegiance (nor would H)). How would the ending have changed?

    • Divaliscious11 :

      I’m not sure Draco disarming Dumbledore was NOT part of the plan. Dumbledore clearly knew Draco didn’t have the courage to really kill him, which is why he made Snape promise to do so, as well as needing Snape to secure his position (the whole thing with Bellatrix & Sissy). But as Harry has almost always bested Draco, and Draco is always instigating something with Harry, perhaps Dumbledore rolled the dice on Harry. Harry wouldn’t have needed the Elder wand to defeat Voldemort, once all of the horcruxes were dead. Voldemort was fully killable, but Harry didn’t use the killing curse….

      • HP question :

        I was thinking about that, too. But… if Draco WAS part of the plan, his “disarming” wouldn’t have counted as winning the allegiance. So I think by fact that the allegiance switched, Draco’s involvement is therefore not the “official” plan.

        Just trying to play out first when H goes into the forest. H can’t die without V dying, b/c Lily’s blood is in V now. But would V’s killing curse have not rebounded, and affected both V’s soul shard and H, if H had not won the elder wand?

        • I haven’t read the books in a while, so no on-topic comments but I *MUST* interject that I love how detailed this discussion is. Carry on!

        • This might be a moot point but I think the reason Dumbledore said that H had to die in order for V to die was because part of V’s soul had attached itself to H when V tried to kill H as a baby, since the killing curse had rebounded.

          • HP question :

            Yes – exactly – but it seems like the reason V’s killing curse in the forest only killed V’s soul shard is b/c not only was V not the wand’s true master, but H was. (Therefore, the wand would not kill its true master, but could kill the soul shard). Would a non-allegiant Elder Wand have killed V’s soul shard and damaged (but not fully killed b/c of Lily’s protective charm in V’s blood) H’s soul and the shard in the forest?

            (Hm – then, I suppose, H could have pulled himself back from “King’s Cross” using V as his “Horcrux” – although it would be a weakened H facing a still-strong V for the final battle, and without the benefit of V’s traitorous wand.)

          • Oh I see what you mean. I didn’t get the impression that the wand only harmed the part of V’s soul because it was aligned with H but I suppose it is possible. It seemed as though it did harm H but that he was able to make the decision to return to his body. I guess it is hard to say how much the wand impacted the outcome.

    • momentsofabsurdity :

      Okay, hmm. That’s a good question, I haven’t thought of it before. I think all along, Dumbledore expected Voldemort to end up with the wand – but not to be its true master. This would give Harry an advantage presumably, because not only would he have his phoenix wand (which Dumbledore had no way of knowing he would lose), but he would also be the true master of his wand, whereas Voldemort would be trying to kill with a wand he could never truly master (since the wand’s power would have died with Dumbledore).

      Seems a little flimsy for Dumbledore though.

  8. My husband started a position in a new city and to join him there, I just started a 6 month consulting contract for an organization there. To cover my bases, I’m still applying for other opportunities at other orgs. How do I list the consulting position on my resume? Do I explain somewhere in my resume or cover letter that I took the consulting job because of the move?

  9. I love this dress, but fortunately it’s multiples out of my price range.

    Ladies – I’m headed to a conference next week in my target industry. I have no experience in this field and would like to make the best use of it. Any tips and stories on how best to do so?

    • Conferences :

      After registration, make your first priority reviewing the attendee list and determining who you want to try to connect with while you’re there. If an attendee list isn’t included with the registration materials, request one – I’ve found that they are almost always available, even if they are only available on request.

      Also, attend as many networking events as you can (coffee breaks, happy hour, etc.). If you’re on an expense account, don’t hesitate to ask people to join you for dinner. Actually, even if you’re not on an expense account, still ask people to have dinner with you, just choose a less expensive place. At these things, there’s never any harm in asking – the worst that can happen is that someone says no.

      Finally, try to connect with the people sitting around you during the sessions, even if it’s just a quick “Hi, I’m so-and-so. Where are you from?” before the session begins. Oh, and bring plenty of business cards and hand them out like candy.

      Good luck! I find conferences to be a fun (but exhausting) break from the day-to-day of sitting in the office.

      • Wednesday :

        Thanks! This is very helpful, especially the tip about looking up the attendee list.

  10. momentsofabsurdity :

    Social norms question —

    My mom came into my fair city this weekend and I stayed at her hotel room the night she was in town (my sister was also in town so we both stayed at her hotel). My coworker thinks this is very weird (sharing a hotel room with your mom in your early 20s) and asked why we didn’t get two rooms. I said it never really occurred to any of us, and obviously I had my apartment I could go sleep in, but we wanted to spend time with her.

    It doesn’t bother me/I’m not self conscious about it, but I’m just wondering – is my family super weird in this? Does no one else do this? When the whole family gets together and stays at a hotel, we get two rooms (because there are 5 of us – all us kids are late teens/early 20s and unmarried) but when it’s just me and my mom, there’s no real need. I’ve even shared a hotel room (separate beds) with my dad and never thought that was weird.

    • If your family is weird, my family is weird.

      • Not weird at all. I would do this if my parents would ever actually get a hotel room and not crash at my place ;)

    • Not weird at all – at least, this is how my family (and my DH’s family) would do it.

    • I don’t think it’s weird. I would not get a separate room either. It kind of defeats the point of spending time together. But all families are different and some people are just not that close. I actually think your coworker is weird because it’s one thing to not want to share a room with your mother, it’s another to have no perspective for how someone might find a family slumber party with mom and sister fun in these circumstances.

    • This is totally normal. I’m 27 and would want to share a room with my mom, especially since I don’t get to see her that often. It seems like such a waste.

      When I lived about 50 miles away, my mom would come in and spend the night at my place so we could get an early start on shopping / museum-ing the next day.

    • Not weird. Why pay for two rooms when you don’t need to, especially if the point of the visit is to spend time with each other?

    • Tired Squared :

      I don’t think that is super weird at all. There are four in my family — the two unmarried kids and my parents. We’ve definitely all shared a room (separate beds for me and my brother) and I’ve also shared separate-bed rooms with my mother and/or father.

      I wouldn’t stay with my parents if I were part of a couple, but for a family vacation, we always stay up late playing card games/board games and chatting. I realize that we would just have to go across the hotel hallway or something if we had separate rooms, but I kind of love it the way it is.

    • Definitely not weird. My mom and I do this all the time on shopping trips – we can spend the money we save on shoes. :)

    • My family is reverse-weird about this. They started insisting on everyone having their own room once college-age. (When my brother and I were little, we would all stay in one room, with little bro on the fold-out). Even though we (the kids) said we were fine with continuing the arrangement, they started getting a separate room for me once I was in college, and now they get 3 separate rooms (well, I’m married now, but they would have gotten 3 anyway). So, OP, I don’t think you’re weird at all, especially since the whole point was to spend time with your family!

    • If everybody’s comfortable with it, why would it be weird?

      I think it’s weird of your coworker to assume that everybody has to do the same thing s/he does. Ignore your coworker.

    • Totes McGotes :

      It’s weird if you spoon her.

      As described, sounds totally normal to me.

      • momentsofabsurdity :

        Ha! Funny story about that – I went to visit my sister when she was studying abroad, and my mom came along. We got a big hotel room in the European city and it had one CA king size bed so we all shared. I had just finished the schoolyear at college, where I had been spending every night with my (at the time) serious boyfriend in a twin bed and was used to snuggling.

        The morning after our first night there my mom turned to me at breakfast and went “You were trying to spoon me all night. Even when I kicked you, you kept trying. What is wrong with you?”

        • You are not alone in this. I’ve had to stop sharing beds with friends when we travel sans husband because in my sleep I seriously invade their space bubbles.

          It’s one of those things that would be hilarious if it happened to someone else, but is definitely embarrassing when it is oneself making the moves.

          • Totes McGotes :

            LOL this happened to my BF when he was on a trip with other guys without me. Fortunately he awoke and realized what was happening just as he draped his arm over – so his friend didn’t have to unhook him :)

            Going a step further, is it weird that I would totally spoon a *very* close friend (like I’m thinking of a couple specific individuals that I’ve known 15 years), but that I firmly believe that the spooning of moms is Not Okay?

          • Nope. I spoon close friends of the known-them-forever-people-I-can-call-at-3am-sobbing variety with some regularity. But agreed, spooning moms is Not Okay with me either. Not quite sure why, but it just isn’t.

          • On road trips with friends, no one wants to sleep me. I always end up on the cot because I am a sleep octopus.

          • Research, Not Law :

            I’m laughing so hard that I have tears! I love that there’s a thread on spooning moms.

            To OP: Definitely not weird.

      • Btw, Totes, your response (“It’s weird if you spoon her”) totally made coffee go up my nose.

    • Legally Brunette :

      I’ll one up you. When I am traveling with my mom and my husband together, all three of us stay in the same room. :) Honestly, I see my mom so rarely that I want to maximize my time with her and paying for hotels is expensive. We just get a nice big suite and everyone is happy and no one feels weird about it. We do the same if we travel with my mom in law. I wouldn’t do this if it were a romantic vacation with DH, but I wouldn’t be taking my mom (or mom in law) on a romantic vacation anyways.

      • We do this too. My mom has very limited financial means and it saves her a few hundred dollars in hotel expenses when she stays with hubby and me in a hotel room. We only do this for family reunions or other family gatherings. We spend so little time in the hotel that it doesn’t matter. Caveat is that I’m very close to my mom, and my mom and hubby get along well. Every family is different of course, so whatever works for you.

    • My sister and/or I still share with my parents when we travel together. We’ll even all four split one room. It’s not like money is THAT tight, but we generally like each other and don’t feel the need to spend more money on a second room. I’m 30 and my sister is 26.

      Now that I’m married, if my husband is along, we get a separate room. That would be weird, I think, to have my husband in the same room with my parents.

    • I don’t think it’s weird for moms and daughters to share rooms, but I have to admit, I think it’s super weird when moms (only, not w/ dad) share a hotel room with their grown-ass sons.

      • PS – my husband use to do this, because he’s got a horribly controlling, psyco mom (now my MIL) who treats her sons like they are her husbands (she’s divorced from their dad). So I may be biased.

      • I share rooms and beds with my mom and aunts. I also share rooms with my brothers, although usually not beds (but sometimes). My brothers routinely share beds with my mom when my dad is not around, or with my dad when my mom is not around, although usually not with both of them. Idk…we were one of those families where my parents had a king size bed and all and sundry were welcome to pile in whenever they wanted, so it never seemed that weird to me. The one barrier we have not crossed and will not be crossing is my husband in bed with my parents. THAT is a little too far, even for me.

      • karenpadi :

        My dad and I go on vacation together every year for about a week without my mom. We always share a room but have separate beds. It’s like sharing a dorm room–if it’s getting awkward, the roomie makes an excuse to leave the room for about 15 minutes. As an adult, I’ve also shared a room and a bed with my brother. That only got awkward in a hostel with communal co-ed bathrooms where we staggered our bathroom times (the other person went downstairs to “check email”). Before my mom remarried and got a guest room, my mom and I used to share her bed whenever I visited.

        I don’t think it’s weird at all. What do you think is going on?

        • I think it’s just part of a pattern of what I find to be inappropriate mother/son interactions, starting from back in teenagehood, when she used to buy playboy calendars (and the like) for him. Now that husband is 40+ yo, his mother still “manages” the money that his grandparents gave him, she invites him (but not me) on vacations (where they share a room), she buys him things that seem fairly in the gf/wife area (underwear, romantic cards, etc…). MIL is divorced and not re-married, so it’s not quite the same as ML/karenpadi’s situation.

    • Not weird at all. I actually have not liked having separate hotel rooms when traveling with friends/family the few times we did actually do separate. It feels like a forced separation and people just retired to their rooms without hanging out as much.

    • Alanna of Trebond :

      Totally not weird.

  11. Whoa Nelly :

    Positive pregnancy test this morning for baby #2. We’ve been TTC for 10 months now so it’s not as though it’s a total stunner but I’m still surprised at how shocked/shaky I feel. Cannot concentrate at work!

  12. PharmaGirl :

    Interview threadjack:

    I was contacted by the hiring manger (through a mentor of mine) regarding a recent opening in her department. I did so and am in the process of scheduling an interview for next week. This job would be a major career change for me, at a company where I could see myself for many years to come. I really want to impress the department and ensure them that I am right for the job, despite not having direct experience.

    Unfortunately, I have gained quite a bit of weight since last buying a suit so went on a quick shopping trip this weekend. My local mall has very low quality stores and the Limited there was closed for renovation so I ended up in Lord and Taylor where I found a Tahari dress and matching jacket. Is this style of suit appropriate for an interview (links to the separates below)? How would you style the outfit?



    • I think this suit is perfectly appropriate. I don’t love the tie waist and would probably tie it in the back if you need the belt so it looks more like a banded waist. I’d add a pop of color with a necklace, perhaps something like this: http://www.jcpenney.com/jcp/X6.aspx?GrpTyp=PRD&ItemID=1e06d8a&CF=Blues&DeptID=70737&CatID=82505&SO=0&SelDim=1031%7e&x5view=1&NOffset=0&Ne=5+8+1031+964+578+18+1545&N=4294932341+4294949530&Nao=21&PSO=0&bcCat=3&CmCatId=70737|82505

      • PharmaGirl :

        Love that necklace (and the price)! Thanks!

        I tied the waist in a knot-like thing in the front and it looked okay. You couldn’t even see it when the jacket was buttoned. I just wonder if it looks less formal than a standard belt. I could try tying in back and pinning at the sides to make a banded waist.

        • The tie waist seems less formal to me. You could also replace it with a regular belt if you need waist definition.

    • just Karen :

      I really like both of those pieces and think they are completely interview appropriate. Good luck!

  13. PharmaGirl :

    (Reposting without links to avoid moderation)
    Interview threadjack:

    I was contacted by the hiring manger (through a mentor of mine) regarding a recent opening in her department. I did so and am in the process of scheduling an interview for next week. This job would be a major career change for me, at a company where I could see myself for many years to come. I really want to impress the department and ensure them that I am right for the job, despite not having direct experience.

    Unfortunately, I have gained quite a bit of weight since last buying a suit so went on a quick shopping trip this weekend. My local mall has very low quality stores and the Limited there was closed for renovation so I ended up in Lord and Taylor where I found a Tahari dress and matching jacket. Is this style of suit appropriate for an interview? How would you style the outfit?

    Dress: Tahari style number 210052 Belted shift dress
    Jacket: Tahari style number 210042 two button jacket

    • I think that is fine as long as the fabrics are the same. It will look sufficiently suit-ish. Good luck!

  14. Anyone out there live in the Charlotte, NC area? Hubby and I are thinking of relocating from VA and are having the worst time finding an area that we like. Prerequisites are: good schools, <= 30 min to the airport, good daycare options in the immediate vicinity, and preferably a significant percentage of transplants. Would love to talk to a resident if there are any out there!

    • My brother and his family live in the Charlotte, NC area – Waxhaw to be exact. They like it a lot and have been there about 13 years. I think it’s about 30 min to the airport, depending on traffic (which can be terrible). Lots of transplants in Charlotte in general. My brother has randomly run into people he went to elementary school with (in the Pgh. area). It’s very suburban but shopping is really close.

      • Oh and I should mention that my nephews (now 14 and 15) are in public school and have been all of their lives. The area was growing so much at first that the schools had a hard time keeping up. I think it’s been good for them. The schools are bigger than where we went to school, so there’s a lot of competition for sports. I think the schools have been good, in general. They complain sometimes about the quality of teaching but I think you’ll get that anywhere.

    • Hi Tika55, I’ve lived in Charlotte for 10+ years and depending on where you live in the area, those prereqs are definitely there. I’m happy to share some pros and cons. Drop me a note at [email protected]

    • My cousins live in Gastonia, which is a suburb/small town near Charlotte. They love it there. It’s very safe and it’s starting to get more restaurants and other amenities. I think there are good schools (the kids go to a parochial school but I don’t think it’s because the regular schools are bad). Sorry I can’t be more help, since I don’t live there, but when I’ve visited it’s been really nice.

    • I’m in Charlotte…it really comes down to what you want to spend on a house and the corresponding commute times. I live in an area called Myers Park that meets your reqs, and we LOVE, but we could have gotten double the house for our money if we had moved another 30 minutes out for our daily commute. Getting home from work in less than 15 minutes every day is worth the smaller space to me though. I’d recommend Myers Park, Dilworth and Southpark neighborhoods as closer-to-city options. The whole city is transplants.

    • I do not live in Charlotte, but I live in NC. One thing about the Charlotte area is that unemployment percentage is higher there than other parts of NC. Make sure to have a job lined up before you go, as it may be hard to get one once you get there.

    • I live in, and grew up in, Charlotte. Agree with the recommendations of Myers Park/Dilworth areas. I will say, though, that I have friends who have moved to Concord (just up the road) to get out of the CharMeck public schools — I don’t have kids so don’t track it much, but I have heard that the quality has plummeted since I graduated (lots of years ago). For proximity to the airport, a lot depends on what roads you’re near — the airport is very convenient to 85, 77, and 485, so a lot of neighborhoods are going to be in your half-hour range.

      And suddenly I’m wondering if we can have a Charlotte meetup — I was beginning to think I was the only Corporette here. :-)

      • Thought I was the only one as well – new to the area and would love to meet up with other ‘reties.

    • Transplanted to CLT from Arlington ~ 10 years ago. I live in a ‘hood with good schools but find that >50% of my neighbors still use private schools (I plan on public / public magnet schools when the day comes). The farther out you live from downtown, the more daycare options you have (i.e., if you need newborn care near downtown, good luck b/c the spots are scarce; much easier for 4 year olds). Have you looked at the previously-mentioned ‘hoods of Myers Park, Dilworth, etc.? You can go out to Cotswold and South Park for (often, but not necessarily) less expensive or larger-for-the-$ houses. Have you come down for a look? If you could comment on what you saw and why you didn’t like it, I might have a suggestion or two for you.

    • I have been an attorney in Orange County, California, since 1995. Much of the local legal market is driven by developers, so I have seen that for almost 20 years. Keep in mind that this is a very cyclical business and you will no doubt have at least one down cycle during your career. You will likely be pushed out of your firm, or laid off from your in-house job, during that down cycle. Some options:

      1. work for the government side of land use.
      2. cross-develop your legal skills so that when land use is down, you can do something else and remain useful to your firm/company.

      • SoCal Gator :

        Nice to see another OC lawyer posting here! I am with a firm in Irvine. As my name indicates, I am a business litigator. I have done a lot of work over the years for real estate developers and I agree that it’s quite cyclical.

  15. I think its fine. Depending where the belt hangs with the jacket, I might remove it and just keep the jacket covering the belt loops. I don’t like the way that a lot of skirt suits fit me so I go the sheath with jacket route some. I just add the same shoes and jewelry that I would wear with a skirt suit. Good luck!

  16. For DC Darling -- From Basics :

    Reporting on my performance this weekend:

    Other than one cup of milk Friday and one Saturday (thus breaking my “no dairy” goal), I met all my goals.

    • Equity's Darling :

      If you’re looking for a fun way to track your goals, google “health month”.

      I totally listed no dairy as one of my goals for June, because honestly, dairy is a complete frenemy to me. It acts all nice and tasty, and then bam, it makes me feel sick, and on top of that, is not worth the calories.

    • Anne Shirley :

      Re-posting my weekend plea- please do not do this on here. Specifics like this can be a trigger for those with distorted eating. If the two of you would like to check in, maybe create anon emails and do that?

      The sporadic health talk on here doesn’t bother me at all, but somehow using corporette for personal Check-ins seems off

      • Agreed. C*rporette is the place for all kinds of tangential discussions, but I feel like specific/detailed weight loss discussions are not so appropriate and can be harmful. Isn’t there a Sparkpeople group for readers of this website?

        • Why yes! Yes there is! I always love a chance to plug it. :-)

          If you go to sparkpeople dot com and search for fans of the website [this website] you should find it easily. We discuss how our eating and exercise plans are going, it’s a great place for accountability and I love the food/exercise trackers. It’s all good! :-)

  17. Interested in Land Use :

    I would really appreciate some insight from land use attorneys out there on the risk/reward of going to law school with the hope of working as an attorney for a developer.

    As background, I’m 25 with a MA in Economics, and I am very passionate about land use issues. I currently have a job in econ research that I love, but I think I would like to move into something where I could see the results of my work on a shorter time horizon. I know that I do not want to work in government.

    Currently I have no debt but not a lot of savings. The issue holding me back from going to law school is being hesitant to accrue a lot of debt and of course job prospects on the other side. I am pretty confident I could get into a T-14 school. Alternatively, I could take classes for free through my work at a T-50 school (if that designation exists) while working full time, but that sounds pretty miserable.

    Any advice and experiences appreciated and TIA!

    • Former MidLevel :

      Do you want to stay in the same place you are now? If so, is the “T-50” school you mentioned the only school in your city?

      • Interested in Land Use :

        No, I live in DC, so there are several law schools. One benefit of full-time law school for me would getting out of DC.

        • Former MidLevel :

          Got it. Do you have a desired city/region you want to end up in?

          • Interested in Land Use :

            My first choice would be Denver, but I think I would be happy in many major cities that are less swampy than DC.

          • Former MidLevel :

            If you were 100% committed to Denver, it would make sense take a close look at Colorado. If you can get into a T-14 school, you could likely get money at Colorado–plus all the networking and alumni-network benefits.

            But it sound like you want to keep your options a bit more open. I would recommend looking at schools in cities/regions you are interested in. Cost is definitely an important factor, because the attorneys I know who work for developers make nowhere *near* BigLaw money. So going for free/cheap would be ideal. But I’m not sure I’d recommend a part-time program, even if it’s free. Fair or not, lots of attorneys look down on graduates of part-time programs, so you might be limiting your options in the future.

    • No specific advice, but working full time while in law school really sucks. It’s doable, but I hated it.

      • I thought the ABA prevented one from working during 1L year? How did you pull off working full time while going to law school – it sounds almost impossible!

        • That;s if your going to law school full time. If you are part time you are finishing in four years, so you take less class each year

    • Working full time during law school may suck, but law school debt sucks more.

      If you want to go to law school, go for free.

      • I don’t know if I agree with this. If she wants to relocate and can get into a T-14 in her area of choice, that will set her up better for the future (debt and all).

        • I’m not entirely sure I agree with that (at least re: the debt – I posted before seeing that she wants to get out of her geographic region). If I had it to do over again, I still wouldn’t go to a T-14 at full price.

          I have friends and colleagues who went to all walks of law schools, and honestly, the ones who went to T-14s without scholarships are facing many of the same issues those of us in the “T-50” camp are, but with more debt and almost the same prospects (for most of the class, it seems).

          However, I will concede that perhaps my experiences are shaped by getting a pretty good scholarship at a T-50, networking hard, and doing very well. Of course, I also knew going in that I did not want a “big law” life. But I’d also point out that even for T-14 grads, that guarantee is a thing of the past.

          The T-14 may set you up better to get the “dream” big law job, but it’s still a huge risk, not to mention the golden handcuffs that come along with BigLaw when you’ve got $200K in loans.

          Of course, if the OP has some other financial assistance in the form of family help or scholarships, that mitigates the huge price tag.

      • That is a good point!

    • I am a real estate attorney with a small firm, and we often do work with several developers and builders. I wanted to work in real estate because I, too, care very much about land use issues, zoning, architecture, etc.

      I like my job, but I don’t like what I do for developers. It’s not as though developers ask their attorneys what kind of houses they should build, or what developments they should design. They pretty much have a formula down, which is the sprawling, suburban, innocuous cookie cutter houses you would expect. They hire attorneys to make this happen, and to deal with homeowners’ association stuff.

      Most of our work is for smaller, local developers, who are too small to afford in-house counsel, so if you wanted to work for a developer I think you would have to work for a big one. We do a lot of work for a couple subsidiaries (the ones located in my state) of one very large developer. This developer does have in-house counsel, but my impression of them is that they mostly deal with internal corporate issues, and with overseeing us in a distant fashion. So, it doesn’t seem as though the in-house counsel has much to say about the actual development, either.

      So, my thoughts are that law school is unlikely to put you where you want to be. However, I do have a couple of caveats. I only graduated from law school a year ago, so I’ve been at this job less than a year (plus three months as a summer associate). So, my experience is not the final word. Also, as I said I work for a small firm in a medium-size city in the middle of the country. In a bigger or more progressive city you might find developers who are more interested in new kinds of developments (green buildings, new urbanism, or whatever interests you). I still don’t really think those developers would ask for their lawyers’ input, though. They would probably just want you to put into place the plans they designed.

      Local government might be the best place for you to have an influence on the kinds of issues you like, but I know you said you don’t want to work in government. Even if you did, a law degree would probably not be the best option; a degree in urban planning would probably be cheaper and more useful. One other option, especially if you’re already a researcher, is hooking up with a think-tank or institute that works on land use issues. This wouldn’t address your concern about seeing the results of your work on a shorter time horizon, though. A law degree probably would not be helpful for this kind of work, either.

      I hope this helps; I’m happy to answer any more specific questions, if you have them.

      • I have specific questions!

        I have a strong interest in the new kinds of developments you described, in addition to affordable housing and transit-oriented development. I am currently a second-year government attorney (not HUD or the USDA) writing decisions for ALJs.

        What advice do you have someone who strongly wants to transition? Should I go back to school for urban planning, try to work on projects, a professional degree in real estate, or something else entirely? My only current participation in the field is serving on a local affordable housing commission. I have attended the ABA conference on Affordable Housing and Economic Development, and attendees have said that the field is difficult and complex, and that pratitioners learn by doing. In short, reading the Novogradac LIHTC book is not enough.

        Any advice you would have is appreciated.


        • I think it depends on what type of job you’re trying to transition into. Are you saying you want to continue to work in law, but related to these issues? Or are you saying you want to do something else completely? If so, what type of thing?

          • Yes, I would prefer to continue to work in law, but related to these issues. Sorry for the lack of clarification.

    • See my misplaced reply above.

    • as someone who got a masters in urban planning, I will echo the other commenter that a better path would be through planning than law (and with way less debt). but honestly, if you have an econ degree and are doing research now, you have the skills to join a developer or a management company as an analyst and then grow and figure out your career path from there – project management, etc.

      Since you’re in DC, you might check out the programs/job bank at the Urban Land Institute, or their Real Estate Institute.

    • Interested in Land Use :

      Thanks all for taking the time to post such helpful responses. I think Eleanor makes a great point that I probably would deal less with policy or shaping development as an attorney than I would like to think.

      And a.k., I think you’re right that I probably don’t need more education to work for a developer as an analyst. Somehow, though, thinking about applying to school is less intimidating than thinking about making a big job change.

  18. Equity's Darling :

    Does anyone else find that those little hooks on the top of dress zippers, or shirt zippers, tends to either
    a) get caught in their hair and irritate their neck for a back zipper, or
    b) irritate their underarms if a side zipper?

    What can I do to combat this problem? I see the value in the little hooks, helping to keep things zipped, and making zipping easier, but they still annoy me.

    • I take them out. It’s pretty easy w/ a seam ripper.

    • I hate those little hooks. They have caught on other clothes (usually, nice sweaters) and caused plenty of trouble/minor damage.

      For the clothes where I have no trouble zipping up and keeping the zipper up, I just rip out the hooks. For the clothes where I do need something to assist the zipper, I sew in a loop and then sew in a very flat button to replace the hook.

    • Those hooks are the tools of the devil.

    • Different strokes and all that, but I LOVE hook and eyes. I have them put into dresses that I buy that don’t have them. In my perfect world, they’d be in every dress. :)

    • Just ruined two pair of hose because of one of those stinkin’ hooks on a skirt. If I were craftier, I would think about sewing on a flap of fabric (maybe even a button, like on dress pants?) on the inside of the item to keep the hook off my skin/delicate undergarments. Sadly, I just wear the offending items less often.

  19. Venting.

    I am moving in a month.
    The nanny cannot work during the week before the move (when we need to pack).
    My three year old is potty training, sporadically (laundry laundry laundry).
    Work is … demanding.
    The cat is sick and I am feeding him through a tube 4x/day.
    My dad has cancer and starts chemo today.
    I need to lose 20 lbs but I am just going to stress-eat instead of crying at my desk.

    • another anon :

      Oh no, that is a lot! Can you put the 3 year old in pullups and deal with the potty training after the move? Also, I have had good luck with college girls as sitters. Can you call a local nursing or education school and ask if they have any suggestions for girls to help? I bet if you pay extra, they can help pack too.

      Good luck with everything!

    • PharmaGirl :

      Just reading the first few items had me stressed, but adding a sick cat AND sick parent is beyond what I could handle. Is there any way you can hire back-up nanny help or a company to pack up your house? Agreed with the above comment about waiting to potty train. Since you’re only doing it sporadically, why not wait until you can go ‘all in’ after the move?

    • Hugs, yo. But I think maybe you do need to cry, just a lil bit, to feel better. I’m totally pro-stress eating but cry first. Feel good, take care of yourself and you’ll be able to pull through. Keep us posted!

    • so sorry about all this! saying a prayer for you.

    • “Aiiiya!” as my mother would say. When it rains it pours. *BIGHUGS* to you.

      Would it be possible to take a quick walk around your building? Or cry in the bathroom, in lieu of stress-eating? It may not work for you, but in times of stress, the quick walk around my building helps me clear my head, get away from the immediate presence of my coworkers, and gets my blood circulating a bit more.

    • That all sucks. My only practical piece of advice would be to see if you can hire movers who will also do the packing for you. I’ve done this a couple of times, and it’s usually just their hourly rate for a couple more hours of packing. It’s awesome. They pack it much faster than you would do on your own, plus you can have your home in one piece up until moving day. They’ll also bring packing materials if you need them. Highly, highly recommended.

      • I also highly recommend hiring the movers to pack for you. Ours were fast and professional and did not break anything. Surprisingly, it wasn’t all that expensive either.

    • Practical pieces of advice, as best I can do,

      1) Can you afford to hire the moves who pack for you — if so, do.
      2) Can you ask your nanny if she can recommend a sub for a week, perhaps she has a someone she can personally reference for a weeks coverage. Otherwise, could a family member come in from out of town to help if you cover airfare or whatever?
      3) I got nothing, except that maybe now is the time to try a laundry service?
      4) Have you done people favors at work that they now owe you one in terms of coverage? Nows the time to call them in!
      5) Sick four leggeds are the worse. Do you have a neighbor who might be willing to come over and cover one or two of the feedings (especially if you’re going home during the day to feed him.)
      6) Again, nothing concrete, except maybe get him a subscription to his favorite magazine and a few books of crossword puzzles and tell him you love him lots and lots. And then try to remember there are many things you can’t control, like the outcomes, you can only control how you treat him while he’s going through this.
      7) While you may need to lose 20 lbs, you will not die if you do not lose it in the next 3 months. Perhaps focus on weight maintenance for now, and then focus on weight-loss when some of the stress has passed. You might actually have an easier time losing weight when you stop trying. Though exercise will release endorphins!

      Okay…all that being said. Oy vey. That’s a sh*tty few months yo!

    • Oh no! Let as many things go as you can. Stop the potty training. Chances are good your 3yo will regress when you move anyway, and potty training is stressful all by itself, never mind with everything else going on. Wait until after you move to start again.

      And as another stress eater, some tricks that help me are trying to eat healthy things. They aren’t as satisfying to the stress, but they help with the weight. Lite popcorn, carrot sticks, grapes etc. Gum helps me too, especially some of the fruity/dessert flavours that are out now. And drink lots of water, I like the occasional Crystal Light in my water. Flavour but less calories.

      Good luck with everything!

    • So sorry for all that you are going through. Adding another e-hug to the list above.
      -Agree w pull ups for the kiddo. PT will be much easier when less-stressed.
      -Or you could try my girlfriend’s “done in a weekend” method. Make no plans; use only big-girl pants; force fluids +++; sit on potty every 20 mins. Has worked for her three girls.
      -Try SitterCity or Care[dot]com for temp help. Get the month membership. I’ve had good luck on both of those sites.
      -Agree w checking w movers on help packing!
      -Thoughts and prayers for you, your dad and your family. There may be people asking “what can I do?” Don’t be afraid to ask them to help with any of the things above! My mom also has cancer. It was hard to go from giver to receiver, but our lives are better (and less stressful!) since our family came to terms with that paradigm shift. A shared burden is a manageable burden.

      Hug, hug, hug.

    • Blonde Lawyer :

      You can also ask your local animal shelter for names of pet caregivers with special medical training. I became friends w/ a vet tech by volunteering at the shelter and she makes a ton of money on the side petsitting for the special needs pets. She cares so much about animals that she asks the owner to pay what they can afford or think is fair instead of setting a “market rate.” I use her every time I won’t be around for one of my cat’s shots.

      Even if you are home, if feeding is a stressful time, this will be one less thing to worry about and be so worth the money.

      If you have SO, could he/she take the week off that the nanny can’t work and cover both the kiddo and packing?

      I also agree w/ the advice to switch to pull-ups to cut down on the laundry while potty training.

    • soulfusion :

      Nothing new to add except a huge e-hug! I don’t know what kind of cancer your dad has or what type of chemo he is getting but my first day of chemo was a lot easier than I anticipated and it felt so good to be doing something to combat the cancer! I don’t know if that is universal or comforting but thought I would share. And I will echo one of the above commenter’s suggestions of letting people help. As an overachieving type-A person learning to accept help was (is!) the hardest part of life challenges but one that is surprisingly rewarding – burdens lightened, friendships deepened, stress reduced. Even if you have to ask for it, let others around you help take the burden, even if it is just to listen to you vent about everything crashing at once. Good luck with all of it! (And sometimes you need to feed the stress and that is okay).

    • karenpadi :

      Wow! I don’t know how you are doing it. Any one of those things would put me out of commission.

      This is going to sound heartless but I say this as a cat owner who has had to make the most difficult decision there is. If you are tube feeding the cat, I’m assuming the cat is in pain or has a chronic/terminal condition. I hereby give you permission (or whatever excuse you need) to consider putting the cat down.

      Many moons ago, we had a super old golden retriever. She wasn’t in pain but she was just existing. She looked horrible (hair loss, hardly moving, large blood-filled blisters, blind from cataracts). Before the school year began, my mom decided enough was enough and put her down. I can’t say she made the wrong decision.

  20. Hi, guys — TJ here. I have always looked forward to having a city for which to ask you all for tips and recommendations, and now I do! A work trip will take me to New Orleans in early/mid-June (will get there on a Tuesday, leave Saturday), and I was wondering if would recommend things to do (and not do?), and just some general travel tips for NOLA. I have never been there before, and I am fortunate to have my SIL and her husband to show me around a little, but I will probably have a few pockets of free time. I am staying on the river, so it seems some things will be walkable. I’m interested in shopping and culture-y things, and of course restaurants. I’d love to hear what is good and what is overrated. Double points on how not to stand out as a tourist! I really value the hive opinion — thanks so much!

    • Gosh, didn’t realize there’s another “Charlotte” on this thread.

    • For culture-y things – the WWII Museum is amazing, and very worth the time. City Park is beautiful, and the sculpture garden is really impressive. You can reach City Park via streetcar or taxi. You can walk around the French Quarter and the Garden District (also reachable by street car), and there are plenty of walking tours. Oh, and if you happen to be around Jackson Square in the middle of the afternoon or early evening, you can go into a restaurant called Muriel’s, grab a drink at the bar, and enjoy it from their balcony overlooking the Square (ask if the balcony is open before you go in and order).

      Unless you’re really into antiques, shopping in New Orleans isn’t the best. That said, there are lots of boutiques uptown on Magazine Street. And, if you’re staying downtown by the river and have some time to kill and want to escape the heat, Canal Place mall has your typical array of high-end stores – no Nordstrom’s though :(

      Restaurants are a never-ending topic of conversation here. To me, Cochon is a can’t-miss, both because it’s super yummy and so different from what you can eat elsewhere. Bayona is another one of my favorites. And Herbsaint serves great lunches and dinners. If the weather is nice, the courtyard in Cafe Amelie is so pleasant, and the brunch is great and affordable (haven’t tried other meals there). Luke has an excellent breakfast, and Commander’s Palace has an excellent brunch. If you’re willing to travel further afield, Jaque Imo’s is casual and fun and has great food. The highest-end restaurants are August and Stella – I’ve had excellent meals at both, but you don’t have to spend that much to eat well. Personally, I think Antoine’s, Brennan’s, and Galatoire’s, and all the Emeril’s restaurants are overrated. Also, if you’re staying on/near the river, try to walk a few blocks away from the river to eat – with the exceptions of beignets, which you should definitely get at Cafe du Monde.

      I’m sure others will disagree with me (especially on restaurants) and will think of things I’ve forgotten about.

      Enjoy your trip!

      • momentsofabsurdity :

        FWIW I really disliked Cochon when I was in NOLA. The food was OK, but we found the service appalling.

      • Second this. With just one exception which is my extreme fondness for Galatoire’s. For me, it’s probably less about the food and more about the waiter and the room, but if you set the menu aside and let the waiter guide your choices, you can get a good meal there.

    • Second the WWII museum, but be sure to allow plenty of time. I only made it through the European theatre exhibit before closing time. With respect to restaurants, we loved August last time we were there. We also always make the trip out to Brightsen’s, which is wonderful. It is not a long walk from the streetcar line, but it takes about 40 minutes to get there from Canal Street by streetcar.

      • Brigsten’s is good too! We ate there last week, and the soft shell crab special was delicious! Their pecan pie is out of this world too. Not to mention, the service might be some of the best in the city – they were so warm and attentive.

        Also, if you’re into oysters, Luke does a great happy hour Monday-Friday, I think until 6. It’s 25-cent oysters and haf-price beer, wine, and specialty cocktails (the French 75 is particularly good).

        Which reminds me – if you drink, the carousel bar at the Monteleone, Belloq in the Hotel Moderne, Bar Uncommon in the Pere Marquet, and the Sazerac Bar in the Roosevelt all have great drinks. None of those are exactly “local” places, but I’ve enjoyed them when I had reason to go.

    • I love going down to the French Quarter during the day. Start early with some beignets at Cafe Du Monde and just stroll around.

      You can take the trolley down St. Charles to look at the pretty houses.

      The hotel in Canal Place (Hyatt, I think), has its lobby on the top floor & has a great view of the River. Might be a nice place to have a c’tail. Also, the bar in the hotel on Royal that has a working Merry-go-round as the bar. That’s fun!

    • I hit up some of the touristy places when I was there for work a few years ago. Cafe du Monde is delicious. Love it. We ate at Commander’s Palace for dinner and I wasn’t really impressed. Food was okay. Went to Restaurant August and almost fell over – everything was so delicious. We also took the streetcar down the main drag to see all the pretty houses. Cheaper than a tour bus!

    • As for what to wear, lightweight dresses or a skirt and tank with sandals. It’s hotter than Hades right now! I don’t spend much time in the Quarter, but on Magazine St. there is a lot of shopping. Fleur d’Orleans for local jewelry, Pots-a-lot, lots of cute boutiques for clothes, Belladonna is a day spa but has a beautiful shop. Sucre for gelato and beautiful chocolates and desserts. La Divina Gelateria is in the same block and the Magazine Antique Mall is in between (fun place). There’s Trashy Diva on Magazine and on Chartres in the FQ.

      As for restaurants, I’d recommend La Petite Grocery (Magazine and Gen. Pershing) or Ralph’s on the Park. There are tons of great restaurants on Magazine St. that are more locally oriented. I love GW Fins in the French Quarter. I haven’t been to Irene’s but everyone raves about it. I really like Muriel’s. It’s a great combination of old-fashioned and modern.

      Too bad you aren’t going to be here at the end of the month – the Arts Market (last Saturday of every month) is awesome. All local artists of every kind, bands, snowballs, food, etc.

      • Oh, and I should mention that the latest trend is a whole specialty c*cktail menu at the really good restaurants. House-made infusions, seasonal fruit, really incredible works of art in a c*cktail glass. Also, despite the fabulous food, dessert here used to be really boring but there is apparently a trend toward restaurants going more innovative and hiring pastry chefs (http://www.nola.com/dining-guide/index.ssf/2012/05/pastry_chefs_adding_luscious_l.html). The Meyer lemon tart with blackberries at LPG inspired me to make a lemon blueberry tart myself and the desserts at Coquette were both beautiful and delicious.

    • Charlotte :

      Thank you guys so much! I am looking forward to my time there.

      • Hope this isn’t too late and you catch it! I went to NOLA this past weekend and had a blast. It was so.hot. but we still got a decent amount of walking in on Sunday. We ate at Commander’s (amazing, bbq shrimp and grits was one of the best things I’ve ever had), and the service was amazing there. We did a brunch at Lukes which was a solid “very good” but I’m not going to say the most impressive thing ever. Happy hour at Domenica was very reasonable and went on through Saturdays.
        Because it was so hot we wanted to be indoors on Saturday, so we went to the Aquarium & Insectarium. If you’re thinking about doing it my main tip would be to go to the insectarium first. We waited in line for 45 minutes outside at the aquarium and got tickets to both places. We walked right into the insectarium and there was no line for tickets. Oh well.

        Have a great time– it was my first time in the city and I can’t wait to go back.

  21. So I’ve gotten the same weird “Beardo” ad (a knit hat with a weird knit beard thingy attached) on C-rtte for the last few weeks. And I think – just who exactly in this community is that ad supposed to be targeting?

    • hahaha thanks for the laugh. I hope nobody.

    • I get that one too! Do you go to regretsy for fun? I assumed it was because of that.

      • only very occasionally, so I doubt it.

      • Amelia Pond :

        I have been getting it too! Mine’s because I went to Fab and looked at a clothing suggestion.

        • I posted on the other thread, but I got it, too. I haven’t been to any of the sites mentioned.

    • Me. I immediately bought one for my 21 year old nephew. (who will not thank me, but that’s another story :)

      • I saw that they had them for little kids too, so I want to get it for my 4yo nephew who lives in Utah. I think he (and his parents) might like it.

  22. Threadjack – Does anyone know of a good therapist/ life coach in Los Angeles? I keep screwing up all kinds of romantic relationships and situations, and I think it’s time I talk to someone and figure out why I fail miserably at this part of my life – TIA!

    • If you are willing to drive to Encino, Debby Bandy is amazing. She’s not a life coach, but she was my therapist for a long time and then we did a few phone sessions recently. She really helped me with a lot of different things at different stages in my life. Phone number is (818) 990-0699. Shes at Ventura and Hayvenhurst.

      • Thank you!

        • Of course! I hope it works! She helped me through so many hard times, relationship and not, I just can’t recommend her enough. (But if it doesn’t feel right, don’t force it, there is someone out there who will work for you.)

  23. Clerk question :

    Hi ladies, has anyone applied for (or even better, obtained) a US Supreme Court clerkship? I’m in the process of getting my application materials together. I believe that I have strong credentials (good law school, two federal clerkships, etc.) but it’s such a crapshoot still. I would love any advice/thoughts on applying. Thank you!

    • Former MidLevel :

      I haven’t applied (or gotten) one, but I would suggest contacting your school for advice. Many top schools have good clerkship support, and they can’t go to bat for you if they don’t know you’re applying. And good luck!

      • Clerk question :

        Thanks! My law school dean knows that I’m applying and is supportive, but unfortunately not a lot of students have applied for SCOTUS clerkships so the school doesn’t have the best clerkship support (although my profs who are writing my letters are wonderful).

        • Anne Shirley :

          I actually haven’t gotten a crapshoot sense of the process. Are your judges feeder judges? Has anyone from your school gotten one in the last 5 years? Tge people I know who have succeeded have graduated magna from top schools, been editor in chief of law review, and got their SC clerkships after getting their CofA slots, but before actually working. Not that that makes you a sure bet, but not really a crapshoot either.

          • Clerk question :

            Nope, not feeder judges but they are very well respected and my COA judge personally knows/is friendly with a few of the Justices. I’m magna, law review, blah blah. Maybe crapshoot was the wrong word – I just meant that it was a very competitive process.

          • I agree not a crapshoot. Actually a very clear picture of what you need to get one I think

          • D. Ct. Clerk :

            I think it’s clear what the minimum/preferred requirements are. But I think any clerkship is a “crapshoot” in the sense that there are still more applicants than spots, and a lot depends on personality fit, the judge’s preferences, etc.

    • I have (applied & obtained recently) and I agree with D. Ct. Clerk. It is a roll of the dice. You may have all the right credentials to get in the ballpark, but it may never happen. I know some people who have the right credentials and have tried year after year without success. Because I feel awkward giving out information on the process via the internet, I’m going to advise you to call the people you know/have connections with who have obtained these clerkships in the last few years–former clerks from your judge, your school, your law firm, etc. They will give you great advice.
      The best people to talk to will be those who have clerked for the justices you are targeting. Not every candidate appeals to every justice and you should be honest with yourself about who you will appeal to. That doesn’t mean you should not apply to all of the justices, but chances are that you will only be considered in some chambers. Former clerks from those chambers will obviously have the most relevant information and advice.
      Good luck! I wish I could be of more help.

      • Another interested future clerk :

        I might also be interested in doing this, although I haven’t started my COA clerkship yet. My judge is not a feeder per se, but has sent two clerks to SCOTUS in the past ten years. Also, I’m magna etc. but not law review at a T5.

        Do you recommend having four or five recommendations? Also, is it at all helpful to have employer recommendations, or should we stick to professor recs? Does it help to have recs from SCOTUS clerks (even if their Justice has since retired/died)?

        Also, do SCOTUS clerks they read the applications for their Justice?

        Finally is it worth it if you don’t want to go into academia or be an appellate advocate? My firm doesn’t seem to be giving any more of a bonus for SCOTUS clerks than for COA clerks (I thought it used to be $250k bonus for SCOTUS clerks and $50k for other clerks), and I’m not sure I would want to take the pay cut even for the extreme prestige/amazing experience.

  24. I asked about this the other day but thought I’d post again… is anyone familiar with the Strong Interest Indicator test? Was it useful? How can I find someone to administer the test? Anyone know of any places that let you take it online? I have a found a few places but they charge $70-$80..any chance of taking it for less than that?

    • DaenerysAnon :

      I just took it recently as part of working with a career coach (so I don’t know how much the test alone costs). I didn’t think that it gave me that much insight, but it was an affirmation of what I already know about myself. I think that the Briggs Meyers is more useful honestly.

      • Can you recommend any testing that helps with selecting a career? I am having a hard time picking something and was hoping that some testing would give me some insight to something that would be a good “match”.

      • another anon :

        Hmm, I have to disagree. For me, the Briggs Meyers was just what I already knew about my personality. But the Strong interest results were pretty surprising, and gave me a lot of food for thought. For example, it came with “artistic” as one of my highest themes, and so suggested more artistic-type professions for me. I do enjoy art/literature/crafts but always thought of my artistic interests as hobbies, not part of my professional goals.

        I also did the Stong test as part of working with a career coach, and I found it the most useful part of the 4 sessions. If I had to do it all over again, I may have just done one session, to do the Strong interest test. I’m pretty sure my career coach charged the normal session fee, plus an additional $30 or so for administering the test. I doubt that you’re going to find it online. But I do recommend it as a worthwhile investment.

    • The Strong is really well-validated and can give you information about your overall career interests as well as identifying careers that others with similar interests have been happy and successful in. Many psychologists offer these type of assessments, and in particular, look for providers who have some expertise in vocational assessment or career assessment and decision-making. If you are near a university, you may find that to be a more affordable way to get assessment done (through a university training clinic). To get the most benefit out of it, you don’t want to just take it online and get a report — you want to actually have a feedback session with a counselor who is familiar with the test and can give you recommendations on how to use the information you get out of it. You can contact me at [email protected] if you have other questions.

  25. Shopping question for the hive –

    I would love to get a yellow sheath dress. In a dream world this would be in a mustard-y yellow tone and be made of wool suiting material and be conservative in cut to balance out the more adventurous color. It would also cost less than $200 (bonus points for less than $100).

    Anyone see anything like this out there? Banana Republic had a yellow work dress earlier this year which originally sparked my interest but the fabric was jacquard and it was a really light yellow which wouldn’t work for my coloring.


    • momentsofabsurdity :

      IMO, heartmycloset woudl be perfect for this.

      http://heartmycloset.myshopify.com/collections/dress/products/cindy might work in the #34 color or the mustard (but that is coming up brown on my screen), and she would probably be willing to make it sleeveless.

      • Thanks! I had read about this site from here but it hadn’t occurred to me that they could make something like this for me.

        This dress, but in mustard, seems perfect. Any advice on measuring? Could I got to a tailor and ask them to measure me?


        • momentsofabsurdity :

          I would go to a tailor and get measured – I measured myself and it is very slightly off (not so much that I can’t wear it though) because I didn’t measure quite correctly. I have a dress in the navy fabric and it has a bit of stretch – I think I’d err on the lower side of my measurements, not the higher one.

          • Gooseberry :

            What’s the quality like? Could you compare it to a certain store? Great suggestion!

          • My measurements were off, too. I put in my measurements, like 30′ waist, 39 inch hips, and the dress had those same measurements (skin tight). I thought that’s how it worked from looking at size charts (if a brand says 30′ waist, size 10, I buy that size).

            Quality is pretty good. Maybe a step up from mid-priced brands. Unlined.

  26. PSA: There’s a nice black sleeved DVF black dress on today’s midday dash marked down to $131. http://www.neimanmarcus.com/product.jsp?isEditorial=false&index=6&masterId=cat8900735&itemId=prod148280081&cmCat=cat000000cat8900735cat21000740&parentId=cat21000740
    If you hate zippers, don’t look.

    • I would get arrested if I unzipped that dress, yo.

      • Prince Phillip would make a leering comment about that zipper yo.

        But otherwise, that’s a lovely dress.

  27. YOU GUYS, look what I found!!!!!!!!!!!! http://yoshouldidumpthisahole.com/

  28. Heading to Southern California with the hubs for a business trip in July. I am thinking about going to the LA Garment District while I’m there to entertain myself. Has anyone been there before? Have any suggestions?

    • I love shopping there, but it can be overwhelming… sometimes dirty, often limited English, very crowded, lots of stuff everywhere. It’s a little like going to another country. Shopping-wise, a lot of crap and knock-offs, but also some great deals, and an amazing variety of fabrics.

  29. In light of today’s muggy swamp weather, does anyone have a rec for deodorant? I’m at the point where I’m considering doing the armpit botox shots. HELP

    • Anonymous :

      Certain Dri or anything “clinical” strength.

    • Have you tried one of the clinical strength anti-perspirants? I started using Certain Dri a few weeks ago when it got really hot outside, and I have noticed a huge difference. It doesn’t stop sweat entirely, but really cuts down on it. You put it on every few nights, and use your regular deodorant in the morning like normal.

      • I currently use secret’s clinical strength and it just isn’t doing it for me. I’ll try Certain Dri – I feel a CVS trip in my future. Thanks ladies

    • Midwesterner :

      Not exactly what you were asking but Suave Tea Tree & Honeysuckle deodorant with Trader Joe’s Tea tree Tingle body wash works well for muggy weather.

  30. Certain dri worked for me for a bit and then stopped. I got drysol from my dr and it works infinitely better, though it is hard to apply in the dab on form and I wish I had got roll on.

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