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Frugal Friday’s Workwear Report: Square-Neck Top

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A woman with long brown hair and sunglasses wearing a blue floral top, blue jeans, and a black belt

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

Looking to update your collection of comfy Zoom tops for WFH days? Gap Factory has you covered. This square-neck top comes in three prints, including this lovely dark floral. Pair it with your favorite joggers and sweater blazer for remote work or tuck it into a pair of trousers and add a chunky necklace for the office.

The top is $34.99 at Gap Factory and comes in sizes XS–XXL.

This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

Sales of note for 3/15/25:

  • Nordstrom – Spring sale, up to 50% off
  • Ann Taylor – 40% off everything + free shipping
  • Banana Republic Factory – 40% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Eloquii – 50% off select styles + extra 50% off sale
  • J.Crew – Extra 30% off women's styles + spring break styles on sale
  • J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything + extra 20% off 3 styles + 50% off clearance
  • M.M.LaFleur – Friends and family sale, 20% off with code; use code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 40% off 1 item + 30% off everything else (includes markdowns, already 25% off)

359 Comments

  1. My husband simply cannot sleep. I think it’s a combination of weight plus enormous stress at work. Melatonin isn’t working. What kind of doctor or intervention should i prioritize first? Has anyone “fixed” this?

    It’s going to take an act of Congress to get him to actually go see a doctor so I want to be strategic.

    Stepping back from work isn’t an option.

    I know this is emotional labor that maybe other wives don’t need to take on for their adult husbands but I’m worried sick about him and I’ll do anything to help him have a better quality of life in this area. Also his lack of sleep means I don’t sleep great either!

    1. I see my sister wife is in this board. You are right. Also, it is no fun to live with a grump and always be the early dog walker and person who gets the kids fed and ready on weekends. I’d like to sleep in, once in a while. Especially if I have to work late or actually socialize and go out for dinner.

    3. At the very least, have him see his PCP. If work is stressful and unrelenting, he may benefit from anti-anxiety medication for at least the short term.

    4. Has he tried behavioral changes? One thing that has helped is direct sunlight exposure to the retinas at sunrise, to reset inner clock, and physical activity – a half hour walk outside with no sunglasses as soon as he wakes up may help.

    5. Look up the Stanford professor Andrew Huberman and either listen to his podcast on improving sleep or find his newsletter on sleep. He has a number of actionable items that are helpful and an easy lift. Once your husband starts seeing results the changes become self reinforcing

    6. ENT for sleep apnea. But he has to be willing to try treatment seriously if this is his diagnosis. A lot of people can’t or won’t tolerate the CPAP.

      If you think he won’t address his sleep issues, I second the recommendation for sleeping in separate bedrooms. I would set up a second bedroom as nicely as the primary bedroom so whoever sleeps there doesn’t feel shortchanged. (Note I haven’t done this in my house and I am mildly resentful).

    7. The doctor for is a kind of neurologist who specializes specifically in sleep disorders. So a sleep neurologist is the answer.

      Anyone who simply cannot sleep may end up needing this kind of help from loved ones; it’s okay to help out!

    8. I had a similar 6 month long period of stress a few years ago. Melatonin doesn’t work for me. I also tried prescription sleep meds during this time that were all prescribed by my GP. I learned that I’m one of the few people that have a reaction to ambien where it makes my heart beat so fast I think it’s going to come out of my chest.

      I don’t need a prescription med anymore, but sometimes I do need an extra help getting to sleep. One thing that actually has worked for me is magnesium. I like making a hot tea like beverage from the Natural Calm magnesium powder (unflavored) and drinking it about 45 minutes before I plan to get into bed. So, while you wait for a doctor, this is one thing to try. Good luck!!!

    9. Idk how in shape he is, but what about exercise? limit screen time before bed (no reading stressful work emails past Xo’clock!!), reading an actual physical book before bed. Would s*x help relax him? Works for me!

    10. Two points:

      1. Separate bedrooms are the best solution to sleep problems affecting a spouse. Husband and I both have chronic pain issues that disrupt our sleep. We’re already doing all we can on the medical side and pretty much just have to live with it, but sleeping in separate rooms at least means that his sleep doesn’t affect me and vice versa.

      2. It’s not extra emotional labor to help with medical issues. This is normal and expected for spouses and should go both ways (though I know it often doesn’t). As I said above, both husband and I have chronic pain issues that are sometimes dismissed by doctors and it really helps to have someone take you seriously and encourage you to actually get the needed medical care. Far too often, you go to the doctor and tell them that you’re in pain or tired and they just tell you that’s normal. I think men especially worry about being dismissed as complainers (though I worry about this too, so it’s certainly not just men), so having a spouse take their issues seriously and tell them they’re not just being a wimp can make a big difference. There’s a reason married men live longer than unmarried men.

    11. Are you my mother?

      Get him a sleep study and then go from there.

      That said, if he refuses to help himself i think you need to switch to the separate room. My mom has dealt with this for 40 years and it has really frayed their marriage and her well-being.

      I do not understand why my mom tolerates him treating her like this and it has made him hugely frustrated with my dad.

      Reason number 1,000 that I am so glad to be a lesbian. I do not understand how people tolerate this man baby sh!t.

    13. In the short term – Benadryl helps when I’m too wound up to sleep. I’ve checked with my own docs and they say it’s fine for occasional use.

    14. CBD gummies help me sleep a lot better than melatonin.

      Agree with the recommendation from others that separate bedrooms for now if this is affecting your sleep as well. Maybe that will motivate him to get some help. I would start with a PCP and see what they recommend. I imagine he would need to implement good sleep hygiene practices and possibly undergo a sleep study.

    15. Had this same issue with my husband for YEARS. He has never gotten to the source of the problem even though sleep studies have been recommended for him many times. What helped me was a book- Why We Sleep by Matt Walker. It explains the science behind sleep in laymen’s terms, which I found fascinating and helpful in explaining to my husband why it is necessary for me to sleep in a separate room. YOU need your sleep and should not sacrifice your health because your husband won’t take care of his.

      1. That’s a great book! It also helped put me to sleep. I don’t know why, because I genuinely thought it was super interesting and well-written, but whenever I tried to read it I was asleep within 10 minutes. I guess I’m a very suggestible person?

    16. IME sleep issues are a health area the spouse without the issue may need to push for the spouse with the issue to pursue medical intervention, mostly because the person *without* the sleep issues is often better positioned to assess the severity of the problem than the person *with* the sleep issues. I didn’t take on making any appointments for my adult husband, but I did need to tell him that he was snoring and seemed to be waking up a lot rather than sleeping through the night like he thought he was. He did all the appointment legwork. Sleep alone until you can get this resolved.

    17. Have him see a sleep specialist stat. A whole bunch of factors affect sleep and that’s truly the only way to know. Things like melatonin are great short-term aids, but won’t address the root of the problem. And sometimes can actually make things much worse. He is an adult. I would frame it on how this is affecting you and that it can’t continue how it is. Also, the less sleep he is getting, the more prone he is to making mistakes and poorly concentrating-which is going to make a stressful work time all that much worse. (Maybe that is the way to approach–performance help or memory aid? People’s motivations are so different)

    18. If you think it’s anxiety related, hydroxyzine might help. It helped reset me after a long period of insomnia and now I only take it in situations in which I know I’d otherwise lie awake all night worrying (basically the night before an early flight). It’s not something I would want to be on daily because it’s a powerful anti-cholinergic that’s been linked to dementia, but it doesn’t have the addiction or behavioral concerns you can have with more powerful sleep aids like Ambien so I feel ok about taking it once in a while.

    19. There are Sleep Medicine doctors. Depending on location there may be barriers to seeing them (may need to see primary care doc first for eval and referral, may need a sleep study first, may have long waitlists etc). But that’s the one-stop doctor you’re looking for.

    20. CBT for insomnia. I am a psychologist and usually patients improve a ton after just 5-6 sessions of this. There are a lot of self-help CBT-I books out there if seeing a sleep psychologist is not possible. The basic ingredients are a consistent wake up time; limited caffeine, no naps; and potentially sleep restriction. I find that meditation helps many people too.

      1. I would want a physical and some labs before assuming the issue is cognitive behavioral. Sleep hygiene is great, but I needed some additional things like “taking some magnesium” for a significant magnesium deficiency that showed up when a doctor actually checked.

        1. Agreed, look for physical issues before CBT (which is way over-used and often useless).

          1. Yep. FWIW, a CPAP machine has been life changing for me. It’s like someone turned on a light switch in my life. My blood pressure is better, my weight is better, my mood is better. A good friend’s narcolepsy diagnosis also was life changing for her. (BTW, it doesn’t look like you think it does from the movies.) Once you have an evaluation from a physician in sleep medicine, THEN you can move on to whether it’s an anxiety issue, etc. I wouldn’t waste time (and possibly health) toying around with melatonin, CBD, CBT, etc. until the physical has been examined first.

  2. I like the pattern and colors on the top, but I’m surprised at the stylist’s choices. The jeans and belt in that outfit are unflattering on the model. They look like pants on an 80+ year old man. Is that the fashionable look these days and my eye is just not used to it?

      1. And yet I see a lot of what my eye sees as cringe denim these days. Maybe it is both/and? I don’t get it.

        1. Not even kidding, I was at Kohl’s last night and they are carrying Levi’s SilverTab denim. It was even labeled 1994-style. While those were The Sh!t in 8th grade, I wouldn’t be caught dead in them now!

          Bootcuts have always worked well for me, regardless of trends, so if I buy any new denim, that’s the style I’m going with. And I’ll keep wearing the skinnies I already own; they still serve a purpose.

          1. Full-length bootcut or flare seems to be the “newest” trend for adult women, at least if you believe the grown-up fashion bloggers. 1994 jeans are for the youth who are wearing them ironically or who have bought into the emperor’s new clothes idea.

        2. I just think the trend seems to be unflattering on purpose. I was a teenager in the 90’s and am still waiting to see the resurgence of elephant JNCOS. Ugh.

          1. Years and years ago, I saw someone on here describe a certain look as “I’m so hip I don’t have to wear clothes that are flattering.” I go back to that one a lot.

          3. Yes. It’s also a bit of “I am attractive enough to pull of something unflattering.”

          4. I’m waiting for my old Z Cavariccis to make a comeback!

            Seriously though, I’m loving the looser clothes coming back into style. I may be the only person who never bought a pair of skinny jeans.

          5. I know someone who works as a fashion designer in corporate denim (a big brand listed here), and JNCOs are returning…

          6. Saw a teenage boy wearing JNCOs (or their 2022 equivalent) last week. I literally stopped in my tracks.

          7. I did not know the JNCO term until I was today years old (OTOH, I knew the visual: fugly).

            Is acid-wash denim coming back? Asking for a friend with a perm.

    2. I think that we, as pretty women, should NOT have to put on tight jeans in order to be fashionable, or to attract men. This woman merely illustates the fact that she wants to be comfortable, and not to have to wear skin-tight jeans on a hot day just so that everyone will marvel at her tuchus. As a younger woman, I faced this issue daily, both in DC and NYC, where men would go out of their way to stare at my tuchus (and boobies), and it was partially my fault by being a slave to the male dominated fashion industry which rewarded styles that made us look oversexed, such as tight tops, jeans and 4″ heels. I’ve graduated from most of that and do NOT dress to attract men any more. I say none of us should! FOOEY!

    4. Honestly, I’m kind of enjoying the change in silhouette, it just takes time for the eye to adjust. I remember when skinny jeans first came out and everyone thought they were so unflattering.

      I also like the recurring cycle in fashion that gives the middle finger to the idea of “flattering” because it’s all based on what will make you look taller and thinner. What we find flattering is culturally informed, it’s not some indelible natural law.

      1. I don’t agree about the “tall and thin” thing. The dumpy styles like oversized blazers and mom jeans actually only look halfway decent on people who are very tall and very thin. The whole I’m so thin I can get away with ugly clothes phenomenon. On the other 99.9% of us, a more fitted or proportional silhouette looks better than trying to hide one’s body under yards of extra fabric. Not taller and thinner, just more natural and therefore flattering.

        1. YMMV, but I don’t find them ugly, just different than what we’re used to.

  3. So followup to hive advice I got probably 18 months ago. I had a situation with an old screened porch and had gotten an insane quote ($85K) to replace it. Well, after hearing opinions and experiences, we ended up going with advice that many of you had given and converted the space to a big patio.

    In fact, as somebody suggested ‘bigger than you think is reasonable because you’ll use it’. And you know what? 1000% worth it. We use the space constantly and even though it seemed ‘so big’ when we laid it out, I trusted the process and it’s been perfect.

    1. Co-signing.

      I planned a porch preCOVID and have since wished for something 3x the size.

    2. Yay! Usable outdoor space is the BEST. It is honestly one of my favorite things about our house. We prioritized comfy, roomy outdoor areas and it was 100% the right choice for us.

  4. Is anyone hiring and finding it difficult? I have what I think is a great position- in house, employment law focused, hybrid (Boston), pays 200kish with great benefits, and we are getting like no applicants. Is it the market? the pay?

    1. Yes. I have a great position to hire for. The last time this position was open, I had 35 applicants. Probably 7-8 were legitimately strong. Now I have a whopping 5 applicants, none of whom excite me. I have no idea what’s going on. I’m in higher ed so one could argue that pay is always an issue, but from the salary surveys, this seems to be competitive with the local market.

      1. What is the position? One of our frequent commenters, Dr. The Original, is a new Ph.D., looking for academic jobs (I think). She’s quite brilliant and very personable.

    2. Yeah, I’m hiring professional positions and it’s ROUGH. Some thoughts:

      – Lots of people have left the workforce in the last year. Parents choosing to be SAH, but especially people who have been putting off retirement for the past 5 years are retiring.

      – We are finally seeing the ‘silver typhoon’ that we were warned about for so many years. We’re seeing that our 25% boomer workforce is all retiring at the same time.

      – The absolute childcare crisis is hitting us really hard when it comes to not quite entry but early career jobs. I’ve had multiple staffers decline jobs even though it would be a significant pay jump and ‘career’ type job because the restraints of childcare made it not worth the move.

      – 10-12 years ago (you know, the time I was getting out of school), the recession was still ongoing. People couldn’t get jobs in their fields so they figured out other gigs. Well, now people are shocked that there’s a hole in the fields where you would expect your mid career, experienced professionals to be. I especially see this in teaching.

    3. I was just venting few days back about no call-backs from prospective employers. Alas, seems universe is mismatched: companies have no candidates and candidates have no replies.
      I was in your shoes few months back when I was recruiting to fill last vacancy on my team. Amazing role, great salary, desirable employer and HR was sending me CVs of people who were just remotely suitable.
      Ask HR where do they advertise the role and ask your network to share the job opening.

    4. Is it that you are hybrid in a world of full remote? I’m in the Boston burbs and would take a hard pass on ever commuting to Boston again if I could avoid it. Not for *only* 200k either. I would rather make $150k fully remote than commute for $200k. I am mid career and have children; I’d feel differently as a younger person.

      2. This. For my last round of job hunting 1-2 years back I simply opted out of any roles that required firm in-office requirements. I come in for meetings and travel for events/conferences, but I simply refuse to be in the office for a set amount/day every week at this point. The commute just isn’t worth it for me, and fwiw screening for that has had zero impact on my salary – the days of being willing to take a paycut for remote work seem to be (fingers crossed) behind us.

        1. That’s interesting.

          FWIW, I live so centrally in my city that going to an office and going anywhere else (kids’ school, grocery store, etc.) are all about the same NBD distance. My guess is that where there is pushback is in huge cities where the commutes are easily >1 hour?

          1. Apparently studies bear this out – the cities with the shortest commutes have the highest rate of white-collar employees spending time in-office.

          2. OP is in Boston. Commuting by car is an absolute nightmare. Public transit isn’t great either, unless you live super close.

          3. I live in a small college town and there’s a lot of pushback among non-student facing university staff to coming back to the office, despite the fact that almost everyone lives within 15 minutes of campus. I don’t think it’s *just* about commute.

      3. This was also my immediate thought. I’m not in a big city, but my employer has gone fully remote and has had zero issues attracting top quality candidates for positions. Part of that of course is that we have a much larger pool of candidates to pull from, since they can live anywhere in the US and don’t have to relocate for the job.

      4. interesting! I would love to hear from other in house attorneys if they are fully remote- my impression was that for most attorneys there was a component of in person work. We are flexible, but would expect the attorney to be in once or twice a week

        1. I commented above, but my in person component is covered by monthly on-site meetings with transportation, hotel, and meals paid for by the company.

        2. I left one in-house, 10+ year in-house employment law role that was hybrid (3 days in office) to take a similar, fully remote role earlier this year. Having to go in the office was a big factor, as the requirement to go in physically had absolutely nothing to do with what my actual duties were (e.g., providing support to various locations across the US via phone/email/teams; managing litigation; writing policies). Instead, it was motivated by the cranky and stodgy business leaders who wanted to have people physically in the office because that’s how they wanted it to be. I had been doing the hybrid thing for ~6 months when I left (between when office reopened & when I left) and it was incredibly frustrating to commute in, only to get on a teams call while the office was half full or less, and very rarely doing the “in-person collaboration” that was supposed to be the motivation for requiring people in the office.
          Some jobs do need to be in person, and if this job does, you have to just keep looking. If there’s the opportunity to hire an employment lawyer to do the job well without requiring in-person office time, looking at remote candidates will likely broaden your pool significantly.

        3. I’m fully remote in-house. I made it very clear from when they initially recruited me that I wasn’t moving and I wasn’t going to an office except for big meetings once a quarter or whatever. I make $200k with additional bonuses and live in my nice LCOL town 3 hrs away from US HQ.

        4. As an employment attorney, I think that’s a role that needs to be onsite at least a few times a week. This is an attorney that, other than the GC, is generally the most visible in an organization (assuming the rest of the organization is not fully remote). I think hybrid for this role is best option.

        5. In-house since October 2021 and I am required to be in the office at least twice a week, with a strongly expressed preference for 3 days. I will say that while I do not love the commute, there is definite value to being in the office in my role.

          Most of our senior management comes in 3-4 days a week. For the rest of the employees, my company is offering carrots (catered lunch and reimbursement for commuting expenses) to get people to come in at least twice a week. I expect that by January it will mandated if more people do not start coming in voluntarily. Our work includes a lot of coordination between people and it is really helpful to be able to grab the person you want for 15 minutes when something comes up and Teams can only go so far.

      5. This. I live outside the Boston burbs and am around $170k all-in for a fully WFH junior in-house position with no commute and no Boston CoL. A $30,000 raise would not be enough to reorganize my life and make that commute even weekly.

        Rereading my response, I think the pay is an issue.

      6. This. I am early 40s and otherwise healthy except for an underlying medical condition with high stroke risk and don’t want to work around the unmasked indoors unless I absolutely have to. Would never have even been a thought preCovid. I’m not the only one where calculus like this has changed. There are a lot of us without visible signs of a disability where remote is table stakes now.

    5. what experience are you shooting for? If “senior associate” it’s going to be like a 50% pay cut from Biglaw at that salary, FWIW.

      2. yes- it would be for about 10 years experience, but I thought we were at market for in-house roles at that scale.

        1. I’m benefits adjacent in NY biglaw and it’s a very very hot market for talent in the field. This might be impacting your recruitment efforts

        2. I have similar years of experience and am in-house employment counsel at a very big company, but I’m based in a MCOL city. My role is technically hybrid, but the whole legal department works remote full-time, as I don’t advise or meet with anyone in my city regularly. If an exec I need to meet with is in town, that’s pretty much the only time I go in and it’s glorious. If possible, I might examine whether the in-person requirement serves a purpose or if it’s just to have face time. As for pay, I make about between $225k-250k all-in, so for a HCOL city, the comp is probably a little low.

        3. that’s a tough experience to hire for. Most people have left firms at 10 years out and are 3-4 years into an in house spot, settling into a groove and getting promoted internally. That means you need people to be sufficiently unhappy to leave the devil they know, or sufficiently underpaid that $200K looks appealing.

          Might get more nibbles if you drop it to 6-8 years experience to catch people leaving Biglaw.

        4. You’re very clearly not at market. If you were at market, people would want the job. That’s what market means. I’m a 11th year and I make 220k in house in a non profit. For a profit company I’d expect better.

          1. This is not a profit company- but yes obviously I am realizing we are not at market. Based on what we looked at for surveys, etc I thought we were going out at market- but clearly we are not competitive.

          2. To cc- if helpful to have another data point, my husband recently left biglaw in NY as a 6th year for an in-house corporate role at a non profit and is making 240k base, 10% estimated bonus and healthy employer contributions to a retirement account. They occasionally go into the office (1-2x / week). Hours are very light (9-5 max, no evenings or weekends)

    6. I think that the online applications algorithms are broken and not letting good applicants through. I applied for my current company and was auto-rejected numerous times until I finally worked with an outside recruiter to get an interview and placement. The company paid 20% placement fees because their algorithms were rejecting my application.

        1. I think clementines response about 10-12 years is spot on and something not really talked about. That’s a really hard level right now because there are fewer people in some key fields because of the time they enter red, combined with peak kid/work conflict and the level of experience where you are valuable but not ridiculously expensive yet.

    8. I think the number of people leaving employment due to being disabled by Long Covid is severely underestimated.

      1. I don’t have long Covid, but have a different chronic illness. I took a step back in my job when we moved for spouse’s job a few years ago. I would love to ramp things up again if I could find a job I was confident would actually accommodate my disability, but haven’t been able to do that. I’m super competent and qualified, but definitely underemployed right now. I think we need to really think differently about how we structure jobs to accommodate people with disabilities and caregiving responsibilities, as well as anyone who doesn’t want to make work their entire life.

        1. I hope you’re right. I have a kid on the spectrum (ASD-1 and who is in honors classes, academically) who I hope and pray this will be true for. It terrifies me how un- and underemployed disabled adults are due to prejudice and fixable-barriers to employment that can be adjusted without compromising on the work actually done (the interview lunch might be the hill his career dream die on).

      2. Maybe. Almost everyone I know has had covid, some multiple times, and I don’t know anyone who is disabled. Obviously there are those who are disabled but I don’t think it’s widespread.

        1. Agreed, I only know a few people who haven’t had it, and everyone I know who had it fully recovered. I’m not saying Long Covid doesn’t exist, but the stats about 1 in 5 people being disabled by Covid do not jive with my anecdotal experience. In terms of the acute illness it ranged from no symptoms (my husband’s 24 year old grad student) to a mild cold (my husband) to a bad cold or flu (my husband’s parents, my best friend and a lot of other friends/family) to hospitalization (my boss, despite being only 45 and triple vaxxed!). But none of those people had symptoms that lasted longer than a month.

          1. The 1 in 5 stats from the CDC aren’t about disabling symptoms, but about damage to the body (that’s often totally asymptomatic). I’ve seen people mix that up a ton though and talk as though 1 in 5 people get long COVID or PASC, which is just not accurate.

          2. There are definitely studies and news articles that say 1 in 5 with “lingering symptoms”: https://www.reuters.com/business/healthcare-pharmaceuticals/nearly-1-5-adults-who-had-covid-have-lingering-symptoms-us-study-2022-06-22/

            I do agree with you that there’s certainly invisible damage to the body we don’t know about (which is the main reason I’m still masking indoors. I know I’m not going to die from Covid and I really doubt I’m going to get classic “long Covid” but I don’t want my brain to shrink by the equivalent of 10 years of aging! That is terrifying to me, especially as someone who comes from a family where most women get dementia in their 80s.)

        2. Interesting, I feel like I meet someone at least once a week that complains about their lack of energy since having Covid, or their exercise tolerance being gone, or lingering issues with their health. I know two people under 35 that have had post-Covid strokes.

          1. But are these people really quitting their jobs? If I had long COVID I couldn’t afford to quit unless I was getting disability payments, so I’d just have to push through. Which is why I am still trying to avoid being infected with COVID in the first place.

    9. I’m a senior labor & employment associate at a Top 20 firm – and actively looking to move to a hybrid in-house role in Boston – but I just can’t afford the pay cut down to 200k. I need at least 300k plus bonus, at bare minimum, in order to make ends meet for my family. If there’s any room for a salary bump, we should talk :)

      1. Not to be rude, but I feel like you can’t get both here – you can’t be in-house and get $300K plus bonus. If you really want to leave Big Law behind, you need to cut some of the fluff.

        1. Yeah, I am very senior in-house (direct report to GC) at a F50 company. My base comp is $250k, although with bonus my total package ends up around $450k. I was recently offered a senior position in the legal team at a FAANG, and their total package was about $1mm but the base was $225k and all the variable comp was in stock with vesting over time. If you want $300k plus bonus outside of biglaw and you’re only a senior associate (so not a GC candidate), I’m not sure where you look (and whatever you find is unlikely to come with the benefit of more stable, manageable hours – which is the best perk of my position).

          1. This is a good point. Comp outside of law firms has less emphasis on cash and more emphasis on equity. If you need large amounts of cash up front, then even the highest paying jobs are going to have trouble meeting your ask.

        2. I’m not sure about this. In a speciality group in NY and I found lots of positions mid-300 base in house (some significantly higher) and they swore up and down these were 9-6 jobs, partial hybrid. Admittedly most of these positions were with investment funds or other financial institutions.

      2. I’m a bit surprised the pay is in the 200s in the greater Boston market. My mid-career peers in manager/senior manager in-house MarComm roles all make at or more than that. And we (mostly) have those ‘worthless’ communication/PR/english degrees with no big law debt to account for.

      3. Not the OP, but at my Fortune 50 company, there’s salary flexibility but not on that kind of order of magnitude. A thing I didn’t realize before I went in-house was that each position is assigned a grade. The grade is based on the nature of the duties (how many people supervised, how much responsibility, how much supervision) and, at some companies, on experience (not at mine, though). It has to line up with a policy. There is a salary band associated with that policy and we can only pay within that band – no exceptions. So if you can’t move the job to a higher band based on the job description, you can’t increase the offered salary. It’s different than the approach to hiring at my firm, where we could be pretty nimble in what we offered to pursue talent.

        I typically can bump up our offered salary by $20-50k, depending on how close to the top of the band we already were, and that’s it.

        1. +1, Same at my Fortune 50 company. My current non-exec band tops out at about $350k but I’m not making nearly that much. $200k as a starting salary for in-house, non-exec seems pretty good to me.

      4. Let’s be clear here, you can’t take a pay cut to $200K and maintain your current standard of living. Families live on way less than $200K all the time in Boston. I don’t know your personal situation but damn you sound incredibly elitist to think $200K is not feasible for you! Are you a troll???

        1. I own a condo in Dorchester and make $134K. Plenty of people in Boston make less than $200K.

        2. Yeah I did a doubletake at that. Come on. You *want* to make $300k. That’s fine. But to suggest you can’t live in Boston on $200k is absurd.

          1. Sure, that’s fair. I want to make $300k in order to maintain some semblance of my current life, and I’m not willing to leave Big Law for less. I don’t think the OP necessarily wants any candidate desperate for a job – as opposed to an excellent and qualified candidate who is eager and enthusiastic for the job – and I think your excellent/qualified biglaw associates will need to be paid more unless they are actively getting the boot.

        3. Not a troll. I’m currently the sole wage earner in my household and between childcare and mortgage costs, that’s the situation. I’m not saying a family can’t live on less than $200k in Boston – I’m saying my family can’t maintain our current lifestyle (which we would like to do) with such a significant salary reduction. I just don’t need a change of position that badly. BigLaw has been doling out bonuses and salary bumps by the handful over the last few years – and has made efforts to respect flexible schedules and remote work – and it’s hard to walk away from that for such a significant salary cut without any guarantee of better hours. I think the in-house market is going to have to make some salary jumps in order to compete with the Big Law recruitment/arms war.

          1. +1. I’ve found biglaw actually has tremendous flexibility that’s difficult to replicate in other jobs. And since my firm – and I’m sure many others – have reduced pace programs (eg 25 weekly billable target for 290k base and targeted 80.5k bonus), it’s hard to justify a cut for a job that doesn’t have other measurable improvements

          2. What we’ve actually started doing is just not hiring from biglaw. There’s lots of talent other places.

      5. Unfortunately no – but we do have a pension and good benefits if that helps! I really appreciate everyone’s responses. We can’t move the pay range up significantly and do want to keep it at some level of in person, but the comments here have given me a lot to think about. I am going to relook at the posting and think about some more locations to try to post or send out

      6. These numbers are amazing to me. I’m a prosecutor with 8 years of experience in a major NE city and I make 60k. I clearly chose the wrong path.

        1. Just FYI – I’m a former AUSA turned in house attorney making around $300k at a large non-FAANG tech company, fully remote with about 45 hours a week and no weekend work. I know a decent number of former state and Fed prosecutors at my company and others. If it’s something you’re interested in, you should start working your network now!

        2. I’m in NYC and left private practice in 2017. My first job in my new field paid $65K and now I’m at $120K. Unless you’re banking on loan forgiveness or some other benefit, I’d leave. Leaving the legal industry was the best thing I’ve ever done.

      7. It depends on the industry, but $300 k plus bonus is what many GCs are making, so that level of salary is going to be hard to find for an in house employment position. You will be able to find that package if you also consider equity, but that value is at risk. Its also worth thinking about the cost of benefits – depending on your firm, benefits from a company may be a lot cheaper.

    10. So, so many hiring problems. 1) Entry-level jobs: applicant’s don’t show up for interviews. No call, nothing. 2) None of our current rock star employees (myself included) can be talked into any promotions. We’re not ‘quiet quitting,’ we just don’t want to do more work than we already are, no matter the pay. 3) Insane applicants demands – car allowance, fully funding a home office, $50,000 hiring bonus … we’re a government employer. None of that stuff is feasible. 4) Wildly unprepared new college grad employees who can’t do anything, don’t want to learn, and demand immediate promotions.

      I really don’t understand the current labor market. All these employees are quitting but no one can hire. Where is everyone going?

        1. My husband does entry level hiring for his org and this sounds awfully familiar to me (first para).

      2. How are these people supporting themselves? Do they have someone else supporting them? I’m not talking about parents in a two income household. I mean single people who have to support themselves.

        1. I had 2 years of salary that I didn’t spend during the pandemic on things like personal travel, work wardrobe, pet sitters, house cleaners, food delivery etc., and I refinanced my mortgage in 2020 to a silly low rate. I will have to go back to work eventually, but fortunately don’t have to rush.

      3. A lot of parents have quit to stay home since the beginning of the pandemic. I know at least a dozen moms who quit in the last two years. Plus there’s the fact that the current workforce was already Boomer heavy and they’re at normal retirement age.

      4. “Wildly unprepared new college grad employees who can’t do anything, don’t want to learn, and demand immediate promotions.”

        This has been my husband’s experience with his latest employee. Started in July after graduating college and is now pouting that they didn’t get a raise and promotion in September (company does twice-a-year promotions/raises).

        1. Or think they know everything, want to do your job, and think they are above doing the entry-level work they are qualified for and were hired to do. This is why I really like hiring people who took a few years off and worked between undergrad and grad school. 100% of those hires have worked out great. The ones who went straight through never last.

    11. Are you looking at all the applicants yourself or relying on recruiting/HR to send you stuff. Our recruiters would nix people who were great options and send me garbage candidates. I know have them post the job and draft the offer letter and that’s it.

        2. Same, although my HR was not very cooperative with that method. I had to get the CEO on board to doing it that way.

    12. This is so confusing to me. I’m hearing from hiring managers that they are having a hard time filling positions, but every position I have applied for where I check all of the boxes, I don’t even get an HR interview. What is the disconnect?

      1. YES this – DH has applied for a number of jobs where he is a perfect match and doesn’t even get a call. And the stretch jobs he interviews for he doesn’t get because they only want people who have done exactly that work already. It’s a weird hiring mindset.

    13. I don’t think employers and candidates are finding out about each other unless it’s by word of mouth. The recruiting pathways are broken. I am sure that we are advertising in all the wrong places because the candidates HR screens for us are wild mismatches.

    14. I’ve been applying to firms and I’m seeing that firms are VERY particular about years of experience in the exact field, and unwilling to consider transferable skills. How are you writing the job description? Are you saying you “prefer” or “require” certain skills and experience?

    15. It’s the hybrid requirement. Change the requirements to fully remote, in the office once a week, or, for non-local candidates, one week a month.

      If you cannot accommodate more remote than you are offering, explain why. Employees are over “butts in seats” and avoid workplaces that seem to have bad management, one symptom of which is being unable to manage and evaluate remote employees.

      1. I feel like the old system (in-seat as a new hire, liberal ability to work from anywhere once you had established yourself) had it right. If a person stumbles out of the gate, in-person is better at fixing what is fixable. Fixing remote hires has eluded me after a long time training new hires (who were also good workers and generally trainable and people who took direction when it was given).

        1. How do you train and mentor new hires in person when all the senior people are remote, though?

          1. Senior people long ago bought centrally-located houses (without home offices) because work was in person and it’s as quick to go to the office as it is to go to a co-working place and definitely quieter and better for work than a library or other shared space. So senior people are always in (except when on client travel or in meetings, both of which are now happening, but they are very used to working regardless of location, but if local are in the office). And they are very much working-in-office respecting-nights-and-weekends except in rare occasions (regulatory change, etc.). I appreciate their separation b/c if I’m WFH, that doesn’t mean I want you to call me at 9pm with a new task (vs e-mail and it will be on tomorrow’s worklist). It feels like a unicorn at least for my business line where I work.

    16. Not sure about Boston, but we’ve been successful in hiring candidates in SEUS although it’s taken some work. I do think you have to be clear in the posting about what “hybrid” means – we are upfront that it’s one day/week plus as needed for major events/meetings, and are also clear that those major events/meetings are 1-2x per month. At other places, “hybrid” means 3x/week. So maybe that will help.

      We also have had most of our success hiring via word of mouth instead of recruiting.

      I will say this – I’m finding biglaw candidates are pricing themselves out of the market. We’re offering about the same salary as you are in a cheaper city and the gig is a true 9-5 or 9-6 (no evenings, no weekends) with excellent benefits (better than I had at my AmLaw 100 firm). I understand that it’s a big paycut for biglaw associates, but not being willing to take that paycut means they’re going to stay in workplaces that are going to expect big hours. We’re hiring mostly from mid-sized law firms or other in-house departments and are finding fantastic people.

      1. Wouldn’t you expect benefits at a Fortune 500 company to be better than Big Law? I think Big Law has pretty crappy benefits, what with the no retirement contributions for associates thing. And vacation time is usually pretty limited too, even setting aside the issue that associates usually can’t take all their vacation time.

    17. Here is another problem you have:

      I spent most of my life in Boston and am an in-house attorney. I did a quick LinkedIn search for L&E attorney jobs that are open in or near Boston. Mostly curious as to what job descriptions are for those roles and maybe could see if some roles sound more appealing or some job descriptions are off.

      The only in-house employment attorney role I could find is at Brigham & Women’s, and did not list a salary. Maybe that’s the one you are hiring for, or maybe the LinkedIn algorithm isn’t popping your job to the top. I found HR generalist roles, commercial attorneys, law firm hiring, etc., but no L&E.

      Have friends look for your job description. Rewrite it if it isn’t coming up on the normal set of search terms. Pay LinkedIn to promote it.

      1. Huh- I appreciate you doing that. It is not the B&W job. It does come up when you search for assistant general counsel, but does not seem to come up when you search for employment counsel. But, thanks to you I did the search myself, and do see that it looks like it is “on site” as listed on linked in, when it should be hybrid. I am glad I posted here!

    18. Yesterday, I interviewed for a position offering $200-250K, fully remote with some travel, for a company based in the SEUS. If I get an offer, I likely would need $225K to take it. This job requires 10+ years of legal experience, plus 5+ years of experience in a fairly specialized area of law. I don’t know the benefits package yet and will ask for more info on that at the next stage in the process. But, given how expensive Boston is than the suburbs of my SEUS city, I’m guessing you need to increase the pay range.

    19. I think it’s the pay and that it’s a specialized area of law. I’m in NYC recently hired an employment attorney at 250K base + equity, no bonus (we don’t have them). It took a few months to find a the right candidate because it’s a specialized area so there are fewer applicants by default. We got maybe 75 applicants over the course of a few months for the employment role but 250 for a corporate generalist role.

    20. I have been looking for similar roles, and it seems like fully remote roles get a ridiculous number of applicants. In an area that may be viewed as a difficult commuting area, I could see a big drop off between fully remote and hybrid applicants.

  5. I desperately need to go through my closet and weed some things out. I’ve been through some health issues and resulting size fluctuations in the past couple of years. It’s really sucked and I already feel bad about gaining weight. As a result, I have stacks of work pants and jeans that I still like and hope I can wear again, but they definitely don’t fit now. How long do I hang onto this stuff? Do I put them in a big storage container and hope for the best? I know the old adage is to get rid of things that don’t fit, but finding stuff I like is so hard that I hate to part with them permanently. Curious how others handle this.

    1. If you have the space to store them without the sitcom closet cliche of everything falling on your head, then put them in a storage box and don’t decide right now. It is both 100% better to not have to rifle past things you cannot wear in your every day closet and 100% fine to not make yourself let go if you’re not ready.

    2. My size fluctuations (medication related) mean I really do gain and lose weight regularly so I’ve been really glad to have held onto clothes I like. I can’t stand high waisted pants, which is pretty much all you can buy these days, so I’d be miserable right now if I didn’t have my bins of old clothes to break into. As long as you like them and have space, I definitely recommend keeping them. I just have a few rubbermaid bins I use for this.

      1. Good point about wanting to be able to dip into the containers to avoid buying anything high-rise. ;)

    3. I have 3 sets of sizes in my closet, the larger and smaller of which are currently in bins. I recently opened up both the bins and tried on a bunch of stuff. Some of the clothes in the small bin, which dates to about 5-10 years ago, I realized I wouldn’t wear even if they fit properly (no longer suit my job, age, or style) – so I’m selling those off.

    4. One year postpartum, I sorted my clothes into groups:
      -It fits
      -It doesn’t fit but is close to fitting and I love it
      -It will never fit again or it doesn’t fit and I never liked it

      Everything in group 3 got donated, even if I loved the item. Someone else will love it. Group 2 got boxed up. Group 1 got evaluated a year later and stuff I had not worn got donated.

    5. Another vote for the store out-of-sight method if possible and deal with them later.

      I did this during the WFH time and after a full year of RTO went through those boxes recently. While I loved each item when I put it in storage, I realized upon pulling them back out that so many of my previously-loved items are dated in ways that don’t excite me anymore regardless of whether they fit and I am now comfortable letting go of them. Last year I would have felt regret doing that.

    6. Tuck them into a bin and reassess later. I keep 3 sizes and pull out just what currently fits.

  6. This is such a vain question, but this is a fashion blog, right??

    I’m assistant assistant coaching my 10 year old’s soccer team this year in a new town. I am not particularly athletic or in shape but I want a couple of outfits that I feel cool/confident in on the sidelines when chatting with other parents. I’m already a little self conscious about coaching; I don’t want to look dumpy while doing it :).

    The answer is *of course* comfort. But I live in a town with lots of rich trendy people and I want a cute/fun outfit- that’s obviously appropriate for coaching youth sports!!

    I’m 5’10 and a size 8/10.

    Dress me? I don’t go to the gym so don’t see much workout wear, nor is that necessarily appropriate here. From coach training, I’ve observed very low cut socks, nice but short manicure, athletic sneaks, some kind of sport tank with bra under it and a lulu jacket over? I’m not sure I can rock the sport tank so would like other cute options. And a suggestion on which jacket is best.

    Would love suggestions for both shorts and leggings. My 42 year old legs have some jiggle- tight running shorts aren’t the answer.

    1. Joggers are your answer for your legs. Look cute with sneakers and pair well with slim fitting t’s and light jackets.

    2. IME, so much of this is dependent on your local culture and style, so I would shamelessly copy what the cool moms are doing. Not sure why you think you can’t rock a tank top; around here, literally everyone wears them.

      But, in case you want more general info, I don’t think you can go wrong with athletic leggings, a tee or tank in athletic material, and cute shoes. Basically, anything from Athleta will do the job.

      1. +1. You could start with some different items from Old Navy and figure out the shapes/silhouettes you like before the higher-priced Athleta stuff. I think a sporty bomber jacket with joggers and sneakers is a cute look.
        A couple folks have mentioned that Adidas has some cool collections recently.

        1. Agree that Old Navy is a good starting point while you figure out what you like! Target used to be my go-to for inexpensive active wear, but the choices haven’t been great lately.

          1. Disagree on Old Navy. Their activewear is awful. If your intention is eventually to purchase from LLL or Athleta, just go straight there and try things on until you know what you like.

    3. If you have the money, I’d go straight to Lululemon/Athleta and get a few pairs of leggings or yoga pants, a few workout tops, and either a jacket or a Patagonia zip up better sweater fleece. You could do cute athletic sneakers or cute non-athletic sneakers (All Birds, white fashion sneakers)

      1. I’m about your size and like Athketa’s non-jogger pants (lately: the Brooklyn). I also like Lilly Pulitzer golf skirts in warmer weather (they have undershorts and pockets and don’t look wilty in the heat).

      2. I bought a bunch of Lulu joggers and tennis skirts recently – the tennis skirts are super cute (twirly!) and the joggers have a much more flattering cut than the other dozens of pairs I tried on – the way they taper around the thighs is genuinely sliming. The vuoris/athleta/gap joggers all looked awful on me but these were awesome.

    5. I feel more chic in loose tank tops or fitted tech t shirts as opposed to baggy t shirts. I’d do black running shorts, a black tank, sneakers with low cut socks, and a running jacket if needed.

    6. It depends on temperatures but for being outside looking active but not necessarily working out, I like to wear activewear leggings (Sweaty Betty Power leggings or a cheaper equivalent), a tee of some kind, and an activewear hoodie (I have the H&M version of the Lulu one)

    7. Try the Lululemon Hotty Hot skort. Biker shorts underneath. Length is a bit longer in back making it flattering. Other option is hte good old vuori joggers.

    8. I adore everything from Title Nine. So flattering, designed to be worn while running around, so comfy. It doesn’t have the super fashionable LuLuLemon vibe, but it’s cute.

    9. Vuori joggers are totally worth the money and I feel more modern than leggings. JCrew Factory has knockoffs that I find I like almost as much. I am also your size and I wear a large. The medium juuuuust fits and I feel lumpy.
      Do those with interesting long sleeved Ts. I like Athleta, and I am sure that Old Navy has some drapey t-shirts that you might do as well if you want to spend less.

      The white tank is the centerpiece of fall. You can always go white tank with a denim shirt worn over it with your vuoris and good sneakers.

      Don’t do running shoes — you can do something like the nike daybreak or Adidas Stan Smith, or some kind of fashion forward shoe if you’re more inclined. I can’t do Golden Goose. The price/distressing pushes them out of my range, but I have a P448 pair that I love and find they have some actual structure.

      Lilly Pulitzer running shorts are a smidge longer and have a liner that’s more like a short than panties, and I find them really comfortable.

      1. I love my P448s but wouldn’t wear them to coach because they are fashion sneakers, not athletic shoes. The trendy athletic shoes these days seem to be On Cloud.

    11. Check out Vuori joggers or their wide leg pants. I’m 5’9” and the inseam is long enough for me despite seeming too short in the product description. They seem more current than leggings.

      1. +1 for Vuori joggers. If you don’t like how they look at first, try sizing down. I prefer them a little trimmer.

    12. Lululemon Dance Studio pants/capris/etc. are the answer for me. I have several colors & lengths. They feel a little more put together than leggings, but have stretch in the right place so that they fit really well

    16. I’m a sneaker addict and have some version of all the sneakers listed here. I don’t think you can go wrong with any of them, but don’t forget the Nike Air Max. You can probably design in your team colors. I have the rose gold version, and they go with everything.

  7. Does anyone know what the demographics of the Junior League in Chicago are like? A friend and I want to start volunteering somewhere. We both need more “extracurriculars” and would like to meet new people. When I lived in a different city I volunteered with a nonprofit that hosts a few galas and parties throughout the year. I loved the event planning aspect of it. My friend suggested we look into the Junior League but I picture it being very WASP-y. I figure someone here might have a better idea of what the crowd is like.

    2. You could also look at the JLC’s webpage and newsletters, to get a feel of what the membership looks like. It also goes in cycles. When I joined a League, I was one of the younger in my class at 28. Nowadays, they seem to skew 25-35 tops. What other demographics are you looking for?

      In the Junior League, you can get placed on all kinds of committees. I usually tried to be on a fund-raising committee or some kind of management related committee, since I was teaching at the time and didn’t want ALL my hours taken up with children (usual focus of community service committees).

  8. Any tips for flying to Thailand from the east coast? Planning a trip for January- how do I make the 25-30 hour trip, less miserable?

    Also, any recommendations? We will be honeymooning and are looking at Bangkok, Chiang Mai, and Phuket or Koh Samui.

    1. If you have an extra day in the Bangkok area, I highly recommend the day trip by train to Ayutthaya, an old city about 2 hrs north of Bangkok, with lots and lots of temple ruins. Rent a bike to get around.

    2. Sleeping pill — time it to align with “night” at your destination. Sleep for a solid six hours. Read and watch movies the rest of the time. Hydrate very well. Don’t drink alcohol. Enjoy.

    3. Don’t fly basic economy. Even economy plus Or premium is much better. When you arrive stay awake at least until 8, and then the next morning get up and outside early. Wear compression socks and drink lots of water.

    4. Would highly recommend Koh Phi Phi over Koh Samui or Phuket. A lot of people day trip from Phuket to Koh Phi Phi so staying overnight there lets you really experience the islands without the crowds. There’s a scenic viewpoint on Koh Phi Phi that is the most beautiful we view we had the entire trip. You’ll also be the first ones over to Maya Bay and have an hour or so before the crowds arrived from Phuket and once the crowds arrive it’s kind of overwhelming and dirty. I found Koh Samui very “meh” – it was by far my least favorite stop of our four stops in Thailand, but our hotel there kind of sucked so that was probably a big factor. I loved Chiang Mai. The highlight for us was the Elephant Nature Park elephant sanctuary we went to that’s nearby, but the city is really cool. It’s a university town and much smaller and less overwhelming than Bangkok (a bit like Florence vs Rome). Bangkok is of course a huge city and was kind of overwhelming for me (not a city person) but the temples and the grand palace are very worth seeing. We stayed at the Peninsula hotel for a crazy cheap rate in US dollars (under $200/night) and it was amazing. We were only in Bangkok for two days and it felt like enough to me, but again I’m not a big city person.

      The travel was honestly way less brutal than I expected (we flew out of Chicago, but live in eastern time). I don’t normally sleep on planes in economy class, but I must have, because I don’t remember feeling that exhausted. We got to Bangkok at 11 pm local time, immediately went to sleep, slept through the night and from then on were basically adjusted to Thailand time. Going west is generally easier than going east I think.

      1. Agree with all of this and would also recommend doing a bike tour in Bangkok and a cooking class in Chiang Mai (Thai Farm Cooking School)

    5. East coast to Asia is miserable, no way around it. Business class or first class would help a lot, but that has never been a possibility for me. Are there any layovers? If you have a layover in an airport with a transit hotel, make a reservation there so you can rest/shower during the down time. If you don’t have time for that but the airport has a gym or spa, I find paying for the ability to take a shower is very helpful. Many of the Asia-based airlines provide better flying experiences than US domestic flights, which helps a little. I need to fly with a heavy sweatshirt with a hood to keep the cold air off my neck, a sleep mask and ear plugs plus something I can use as a pillow for a modicum of comfort on these long flights. Good luck and have a great trip.

    6. I’ve done that flight and eventually i gave up and slept despite never being able to sleep on planes. Bring snacks, books, ear plugs, and a good pillow. Also, you can book flights inside Thailand for much cheaper via those airlines’ sites. So fly to Bangkok and then fly to your destination the next day.

    7. Business class if you can afford it. I have flown about 18 hours to India in economy and I would not do that again. This is what helped last time I traveled:

      – Dress for comfort. I wear leggings and a loose top and some kind of sports bra or bralette. I get cold easily so I bring a cardigan to layer. I wear shoes I can slip off and change into socks on the plane. I have used regular socks, but compression socks would probably be a good idea.
      – Bring a neck pillow of some sort to help when you try to sleep. Maybe also an eye mask.
      – Most planes have an entertainment screen. Watching movies helps pass the time. Bring earphones with a jack that you can plug in. As a backup (if the unit is not working) download stuff onto your phone.
      – I know you’re supposed to drink lots of water to stay hydrated, but I find airplane bathrooms disgusting. I just drink a little with food. And I drink alcohol because it helps me sleep.

    8. Try to time it so you arrive in the late afternoon / early evening, and then stay up for the whole flight. You’ll be exhausted and sleep when you arrive. Then get up promptly the next day and do something outdoors with walking around. I can’t sleep on planes under any circumstances, and this strategy works well for me. You might need a caffeine hit on the first afternoon at your destination, but after that you should adjust quickly.

  9. I am not naturally organized. I’m in a very busy stage of life and am on a pretty strict budget (cannot outsource, don’t want to have to buy things in duplicate just because I’m disorganized and can’t find it. Am more than happy to purposely buy duplicates to make things easier). Currently I feel like my life is a house of cards and a slight disruption could send everything crashing down. I’m not really in a position to take things off my plate, so I just need to develop systems that work for me, stay organized, and become more efficient with my time and resources.

    How have you figured out what systems work for you?

    1. Lots of trial and error. It’s not a quick fix, simpler is better, and you have to keep it up. I consider myself a tidy, organized person, but it doesn’t happen all on its own!

      You might get some utility out of the Lazy Genius podcast, who is all about figuring out the simplest way to meet your goals.

      If the issue is that you can’t find stuff, start first by giving everything a place. Then put things away after you’re done using them.

      1. I just moved so am still trying to figure out where everything goes! Which I’m not great at so it’s a longer process than it should be!

    2. choosing a system that matches your life. If you always dump your bag and mail by the door, pretty bins in the family room aren’t going to help.

    3. A few thoughts, from a disorganized mess

      – run the dishwasher every night, empty it every morning

      – Thursday nights are laundry nights

      – Saturday mornings are for cleaning the kitchen and bathrooms

      – pick small zones and just go through and get the trash out. Like one drawer gets organized at a time. Don’t do all crazy and perfect just get clear junk out

      2. Run the dishwasher every night and empty it every morning is the best thing I ever did for keeping my kitchen clean!

      3. I think this is a good idea. If you can’t outsource, then you need to be incredible structured and diligent. You need a very strict meal planning, cooking, cleaning and errands schedule. Figure out what works for you and stick to it! Get ahead of the curve because inevitably, something will have to make it come crashing down. Get ahead of it now.

    4. I have to again recommend Caroline Winkler’s YouTube video “You’re doing home organization WRONG.” I love the tip to corral items using a tray or baskets. Another is to have “drop zones” for your stuff.

      You also may need to declutter and get rid of stuff you need. You can do that with baby steps. For example, when I’m getting dressed I’ll try on a couple of clothing items I haven’t work in a while. If they don’t fit or I don’t like them, they go in a box for donation. You don’t have to spend all afternoon cleaning out your closet if you don’t have time. Once that box is full I will drop it off at Goodwill. I’ve done the same thing in the kitchen. My utensil drawer was jam packed and I realized I only use a few items on a consistent basis. As I was searching for a spatula I wanted, I grabbed a few items that were old and didn’t get used and put them in another donation box.

    5. Know thyself. Build systems around your habits. If you typically run late then use a stopwatch to figure out how much time elapses between deciding you’re ready to leave vs actually making it out the door (this is always the black hole that ruins my schedule). Then work backwards to figure out what time you should start getting ready to leave the house. When you misplace your keys, phone, etc keep a running list of where you found it. The next time you lose something you’ll know where to look. I prefer brightly colored keychains and phone cases so they’re easier to spot. Put some baskets or trays where you normally dump things too. Identify which items you frequently forget and buy duplicates that live in a specific place. That extra phone charger (or whatever item) should permanently live in your car or desk and cannot be moved under any circumstances. Be realistic about how much cooking and cleaning you’re willing to do after a long day. It’s better to eat a frozen Trader Joes dinner than get takeout and throw away a bunch of produce you didn’t feel like cooking.

    6. I know that you said you had a pretty strict budget, but I’d consider having a professional organizer come in to set up the systems that you then maintain. You can find them at napo dot net. Pricing is normally in the range of 50 to 100 per hour depending on person or area. I thought this was completely silly and extravagant until I did it. Spent 300 and the kitchen is still organized in a way that works going on two years.

    7. Check out Dana K White on youtube, and look at her decluttering tips.

      She has a great question for this situation: where would I look for this item FIRST.

      It doesn’t matter if you think it is somehow wrong or disorganised to put it there – YOU would look there first.

      And then – if you don’t have an instinctive answer, the next question would YOU ever remember you already have one? If you won’t remember, declutter it. It’s just clutter if you’d never find it or know you have it.

    8. What really resonated with me is Cas Aarssen’s “ClutterBug” method (she has a blog and YouTube channel). She breaks it into 4 organizing “styles”: visual vs hidden organizers, and organizers who used broad vs detailed categories (that one in particular blew my mind). She has detailed tips for each type of organizer, with a heavy dose of “if you’re not organized, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed; you just haven’t found a system that works for you.” (She also has lots of great tips for organizing as ADHD). YMMV, but I found her helpful and engaging!

    9. Thanks all for the tips! I never thought to look into decluttering tips because I’m not all that cluttered, but I am disorganized!

      1. Check out the blog Becoming Minimalist. If you can’t stay organized, you probably really just have more stuff and more “obligations” than you need.

  10. In my first official managerial role and trying to finish filling out my self review.
    There is the ever-sticky question about areas I’d like to improve in, and I’m having a hard time articulating some of the softer skills that managers typically need. I have something about being a better mentor, but need at least 2 other skills.
    Any thoughts?

    1. What about conflict resolution skills? Resource management and prioritization of workloads (not sure these are soft skills)? Also, can’t go wrong with any sort of communication skills – you probably have to communicate information from higher-ups or your own peers in other areas to your team, and relay information in an executive style from your team upwards?

    3. why not put that one down as ‘career exploration+ better understanding necessary skillsets’? or ‘Improved institutional knowledge’?

  11. What are you thankful for today?

    I’ll start. I have ongoing breast issues (weird lumpiness, pain etc) and my diagnostic mammogram and ultrasoound came back all clear yesterday. While I didn’t get an explanation or therapy advice, I had a very good and educated conversation with the radiologist, and can consider optional additional steps for monitoring.

    So, I am thankful for being healthy.

    1. I had a hysterectomy 6 weeks ago. I’m thankful that the worst is over and my healing is on track, even though I’m not fully back to normal.

      I’m thankful for some very caring teachers at my son’s middle school.

      1. So did I! I feel so much better than I did before – should have had the damn thing out years ago.

    2. Congrats! I’ve had several breast ultrasounds and biopsies and I’m not yet 30 so I feel you.

      I am thankful that the summer is over and so I can use my grandparents’ lake house again (rented out in summer/winter, family gets to use it on shoulder season when not rented). It’s my favorite place so happy to be here for the weekend.

    3. So happy for you! I am thankful that I got in some miles this morning in honor of Eliza, the runner killed in Memphis. I am thankful I made it home safely to hug my kids and eternally thankful for my ability to run.

    4. Every week when I “turn” a new weeks-along in pregnancy, my husband and I look at the baby app at dinner together to read the updates for baby that week. Yesterday we learned that all baby’s major organs are functioning. I am so thankful for that, and that my body allowed me to support that growth while also working my first public accounting busy season and driving all over the region to a new client each week. And I’m thankful for my sweet husband who is so excited.

      Also cooler weather.

  12. Any recommendations for a very small breakfast I can eat on the go? I cannot stomach anything major, but need something small to carry me over to lunch that carries well. So far have been doing bananas and granola bars but I am getting sick of them. Thanks!

    1. Egg muffins with your choice of veggies? I am making those in cupcake pans, usually with spinach, diced cherry tomatoes or dried tomato plus an egg, scrambled. Easy to prepare, freeze, reheat.
      If you’re more on the sweet side, how about yogurt?

    4. Hard boiled egg (easy, cheap, portable)
      Cheese stick
      Muffin (make a batch at home to avoid overly sugary retail options)
      Little Humus or guac with some carrots or pretzels
      Popcorn single serving bag (I like Skinny Pop a lot)

    6. Overnight oats or chia pudding. I like to make individual servings in mason jars and use soy milk for the higher protein and less need to keep refrigerated than dairy. Top with pepitas and fresh or frozen fruit.

    9. Other portable fruit: oranges, you can eat a kiwi like an apple if you want to (and I often do!), peaches if you can get them.

      Muffins can be frozen and you can make them as healthy or unhealthy as you like. For healthy ones, I like Kim Boyce’s Good to the Grain cookbook or the Superhero Muffins from Run Fast, Eat Slow.

      1. +1 for superhero muffins, although they are pretty filling. I also like all of the Cookie & Kate healthy muffin recipes.

        1. Maybe OP could make them in a mini muffin tin to make them lighter on the stomach.

    11. Protein shake [I usually enjoy choco or choco-coffee flavored ones].
      Hard-boiled egg.
      Scrambled eggs with tiny bit of onion, chopped peppers, and if you feel adventurous, with crumbled feta cheese or with leeks or mushrooms.
      Small portion of oat porridge [I cook mine in an InstantPot, one cup oats, one cup vanilla soya milk, half a cup of water, one banana cut to quarters, one apple cut to small pieces, one small spoon of cinamon, dried cranberries, dried sour cherries; cook on low-pressure for 3mins, then let the pressure drop naturally, about 10mins]. This will serve 2 adults, probably 4 smaller portions.
      Scottish scones [great recipe on King Arthur flour].

    14. I often do a PB& J for breakfast on the go. Or an english muffin with cheese melted inside.

  13. I just moved to an apartment with a whole wall of built ins in the living room but only 1 closet. It’s a walk in (!!! I’ve been dreaming about a walk-in closet) but not a huge one. There’s also a small loft, accessible by ladder, above the kitchen for storage and almost a small dressing room in the hallway to the bathroom (where the closet is). Kitchen is a separate room and small, so enough storage for kitchenware and food but not appliances.

    Im at a loss on how to organize! There’s definitely enough storage but I’m confused on how to decide what goes where. The couch has to go up against the built ins, so it’s not as accessible as it would be on a free wall. The closet will mostly be for clothes but I’ll need a way to store things like the broom and vacuum, slow cooker, other set of linens.

    I’m very bad at organizing and home decor so any tips would be greatly appreciated!

    1. I have no advice but my sympathy because that seems like a very odd set up. My landlord’s son is a cabinetmaker and he very clearly practiced on our place so we have lots of weird storage nooks and drawers in odd places.

      I would probably store based on “most used to least used” items and correlate to “how hard is it to get to them”. So holiday ornaments can go someone hard to get to because you only pull them out once a year, but sheets should probably be more easily accessible.

      1. It’s a massive old row home carved into apartments (as are most non-high-rise apartments in my city) so it is always interesting…

    2. I feel like you need one of those tall, slim wardrobe cabinets in your kitchen or somewhere out of the way. You can store linens and brooms, etc in there.

    3. I suggest putting wheels on the couch so you can roll it away from the built ins, with locking wheels so it will not skid around. Make sure a rug has low pile and covers enough of the floor that the couch can roll. Maybe use the walk in closet for often used items, not all clothing, so as to have quicker access.

  14. Advice from the hive please! Biglaw senior associate. We’ve hired a second year to help the group, and he’s really interested in my sub speciality. He’s very nice, but no critical thinking skills – he’ll follow direct instructions and a checklist moderately well, but doesn’t think about anything beyond the direct instructions. I would say he’s at an “end of summer 2L” level of work. It’s been 7 months. I don’t really want to work with him, but I do really need some help and it’s rare to get a junior interested in my niche. How do I handle this ? I want to make the pitch to hire a junior full time in the next year or two for my speciality, but I don’t know how to build that case when there’s a “but just use george” option.

    1. Oh, I am living this life, too. I’m trying to get my people to level up a bit (and failing to do that will be why I need another person, as the current crop is getting rates too high for them to still be doing just-sat-for-the-bar level work with 100% supervision and oversight and constant re-teaching).

    2. Have you explicitly told him that part of his job is thinking about the bigger picture? He would ideally realize this, but a conversation could help. Give him specific examples about how to go beyond a task to add value. Is he looped into the bigger picture or are you just using him as a task rabbit? If he’s not being looped into the case/matter strategy, that might help get him more engaged and thinking bigger.

    3. No one likes my advice, which is to find someone who has been out for a few years, is smart and motivated, and can be taught.

      Reality is that a lot more very smart people went to law school try years ago than five years ago. The current crop just doesn’t have the talent.

      1. This is true. And my source is not my anecdotal experience but professors and recruiters who were trying to address it as a crisis.

      2. This seems like a huge generalization to make about hundreds of thousands of people.

        1. You only think so because you are not well informed. The decline in talented students going to law school has been documented for the better partook a decade. The statistics are actually quite good because of LSAC – we know for example, that some of the largest drop-offs in enrollment happened at the highest end of the LSAT band. Other measures tell us that talented students aren’t taking the LSAT at all. There are huge declines in students taking the test, and it is not proportionally represented – the super smart kids may go into tech these days.

          Three to four years after these drop-offs happen, the bar passage rate drops. Two or so years later, lawyers start to talk about the decline in quality of new talent.

    4. That’s tough. It sounds like you’re stuck using “George” until you or someone else makes a stronger cases against him. The good news is that he’s still relatively new, and he may be trainable. I would probably tell myself that it’s going to take more of my own time for a while. Then give George assignments that require critical thinking, and tell him explicitly that at the early stages, you’re looking for his analysis on whatever issue. Then have frequent check-ins and discussions where you push him for his analysis.

    5. This is a struggle for my junior associates too. I think a lot of it is a matter of confidence – like people don’t feel like they know enough to think things through. Unfortunately, it does require check-ins and feedback at regular intervals which are not all billable. I agree about giving concrete examples and it’s best done when memory is fresh.

    6. My hunch is that you’ve already addressed this with him, but does he fully understand that he’s expected to be forward-thinking and using his judgment about what needs to be done beyond the task list? I know it seems obvious, but apparently it’s not actually obvious to all new employees. And once you understand that you need to be forward thinking, you have to learn how to do that effectively, which varies based on the nature of your practice, the people you’re working with, etc. My first step would be to figure out whether he’s not doing this because he’s unaware he needs to, unwilling to do so, or unable to do so.

  15. Chcago ‘rettes- Need your help.

    Need to make reservations not too far from Union station for a group of about ten folks on a Saturday night in September; one is vegetarian and allergic to shellfish. Any ideas? Two of the diners will need to catch a 8:00 train out of Union so we will be eating on the early side. Finding a lot of fast casual places, but would like a sit down restaurant that caters to a variety of eaters, with a decent wine list (that’s for me). Appreciate any help.

    1. I’ve heard really good things about Alla Vita, and it’s very convenient to the train stations. Italian food would offer good vegetarian options.

      Sepia and avec are classics for a reason and also very close. Good luck!

    2. That areas a little tricky. Rivers or townhouse are a little corporate but can easily take groups and are good location. If you can go a little farther maybe sepia or something in west loop?

    3. Alla Vita is a good suggestion. Also, thinking South Branch or Gibsons Italia in the loop. Cruz Blanca is fun too with great guacamole.

  16. Any judges here have recommendations for purchasing judicial robes?

    There are some sites I’m looking at online, but they don’t have a lot of information about the robes. For example, you can choose various sleeve styles (bell, cuffed, tapered) but there aren’t any photos or graphics of their iteration of that sleeve style.

    Are there even IRL stores that one can go to and look at the styles, get measured, feel the fabric options, etc? A google search for my locale is turning up nothing.

    1. Ours are ordered by our court. Court staff measure us and we get limited options. My advice…. Definitely go with snaps, not zippers and I highly recommend getting pockets. There are also different weights. Go for the lightweight version. The fabrics are gross polyester and you just learn to live with it.

        1. they are low quality zippers, snag every, take longer on and off, and some days you want to unsnap a few snaps for comfort…

      2. I was definitely leaning towards the extra pockets option. Lightweight seems good.

    2. Not a judge but I frequently wear robes. Avoid sleeves that are full at the wrist opening. They get caught on railings and everything else.

        1. Been wearing a robe daily for more than a decade, tapered, not cuffed. the cuffs never fit comfortably over long sleeve clothing.

  17. TW weight loss..

    Y’all. I’m just so happy this morning. I started WW July 8 and Wegovy 2 weeks later. Not only am I down 22 lbs but I’m wearing clothes that definitively did not fit 2 months ago.

    If you’re out there fighting with yourself about if/when/how to start, I’m here to tell you that whenever you do…. your future self – just two months in to the future, not even years – will thank you. I’ve got a ways to go, but I cannot remember the last time I felt this good about myself and in my clothes.

    2. I had a similar experience – tracking water, sleep and veggies in the WW app made a huge difference in how I felt in addition to the weight loss.

    3. That’s great!

      I wore a shirt that I bought more than a decade ago. Not sure why I still had it, but it felt amazing to wear it.

  18. Everyone has a short fuse these days, but I seem to have an especially short one – just lost my temper on a phone call this morning because it was taking too long and unnecessary and inefficient and stupid, even though my regret and rehashing it all day will take longer than the one minute extra it had taken if I’d just rolled my eyes and been polite. How can I Be Better?

    1. For me, when my fuse is short and my control over it is low, it’s because I need more sleep and more time to myself to recharge. Could that help you?

    2. Remember that your *response* will be better than your *reaction*. The anger flare-up is your reaction. Your response will be what comes after you’ve taken a deep breath or paused to reflect (the sacred pause). Responding, not reacting, gives you more power.

  19. Sample size of one here, but just wanted to share my experience in case anyone is as flippant as I was about expected side effects of the omicron booster. I got my booster yesterday and got super sick from it. Was up all night with a 102 fever, chills, sweats, nausea, intense headache, you name it. I had barely any reaction to my third booster so I was assuming this one would be NBD. And I’m traveling for work tomorrow, so I really hope I’ve regained my footing by then.
    Still, 10/10 recommend getting omicron-boosted. Yay for science!

      1. Not at all. I’ve only had one previous booster (in addition to the primary series). Mild reactions to the primary series (I was also pregnant at the time), very mild reaction to the first booster (headache for a couple of days, NBD). This one really threw me for a loop! I never get fevers normally so I was really surprised. I still feel crummy today but the fever has subsided. I’m just alternating between sweating buckets and freezing.

        1. Oops, missed that in the original post. Thanks for answering.

          I was sick as a dog (104 fever and everything else you describe) after shot #2 and booster #1 (only booster so far), so I’m buckling up for full fledged illness from this one. But I’ll happily pre-purchase Gatorade and all the comforts because it’s so worth it. Yay science.

    2. Sorry you got so sick! As additional anecdata, my mom had terrible reactions to her second and third (full dose) Moderna shots, but her reaction to the Omicron booster was basically the same as her reaction to the normal booster (essentially no side effects).

    3. I got my booster yesterday and aside from a sore arm, have no ill effects. I just got in from a run. I’m back in grad school full time (so classroom, lots of people) – gimme ALL the shots. I cannot afford to get sick.

    6. My tip for the boosters is to get them at night, so you get a good night’s sleep before any side effects kick in.

      1. I found the opposite actually. I found that the worst side effects consistently hit me right at 12 hours post-shot and were pretty much gone by the 24 hour mark. So if I got in the morning I could go to bed right around the I started feeling bad and sleep through the worst of it. That said, I don’t get nauseous from them, just flu-like and dizzy. If I thought there was a good chance I’d actually be vomiting I would want to have the side effects during the day so I didn’t miss sleep.

        1. I had violent chills and fever with #2 that started at midnight, so I essentially got 2 hours of sleep and was a wreck the next day – not only bad side effects but exhaustion I couldn’t sleep off! For #3 it was milder symptoms but I was happy to chill on the couch and watch TV while fully rested.

    7. I had the same side effects after the first three shots. I decided I was done getting boosters because they make me feel like garbage for 36 hours. Then I caught covid this summer and was SO GLAD I was up to date on the booster. If covid made me that sick I can’t imagine how much worse it would be without the vaccine! 36 hours of discomfort is still better than 10 days of misery and complete isolation.

      1. I reached the same conclusion (vaccine > virus) from a different perspective. The first three doses of the vaccine made me so sick (103-degree fever and excruciating headache for 2-3 days) that I thought, wow, if the vaccine is this terrible, I can’t even imagine how awful the actual disease would be!

    8. I reacted terribly like this to all four of my regular Pfizer shots so I’m not looking forward to the new one!

    9. I had moderna for first series and felt crappy with a fever and chills and headache after dose 2.

      I had the moderna booster last year and no reaction other than sore arm.

      Yesterday had the omicron Pfizer booster and a flu shot and have a headache and joint pain. Manageable (I’m at work) but noticeable for sure.

    10. My vaccine and booster reactions have all been more severe than actual Covid was. I’m still getting the 5th shot shortly, I just find it curious and would think reactions should diminish over time.

  20. I’m painting for the first time in a long time and would appreciate any feedback. My new apartment has an open kitchen/living room. I was planning to paint the living room and the connecting walls of the kitchen with a warm off-white (something like Benjamin Moore Bavarian Cream or Cotton Balls). But the cabinets/countertop in the kitchen are a very pure white and I worry that there won’t be enough of a contrast or that the contrast will be weird. I’m reaching out to my painter, but would love any thoughts, particularly if you’ve done a similar paint job (either successfully or not).

    1. Our whole house is cream with bright white trim and cabinets. As you say, the key is to get enough contrast between the wall paint and the trim/cabinets. Without enough contrast, or with a cooler off-white, the walls will just look dingy. Paint a big swatch on the wall next to the trim or use those large sticky paintable sample squares to test out how it will really look; paint chips are way too small to really gauge the effect.

    2. Test paint a swatch.

      Seriously, test paint a swatch.

      Whites come in lots of different flavors- the pure whites tend to read slightly bluish, and you’ll want to match overtones. If you know the original color, getting the chip and going down 2-3 shades should coordinate reasonably well, but with lighting often times its hard to know.

      And once again, paint a test swatch.

  21. I’d like to use this weekend as a reset/fresh start to try to re-motivate myself for life and work. Does anyone have any favorite ways to do this? Things you think about, purchase, do, etc. to find some drive again?

    1. I like to take a really long hike with a notebook and pen to somewhere without cell signal and brain dump all my goals and aspirations.

    3. I’m going hiking tomorrow with a few friends. Other than that, I’d like to spend Friday night relaxing, Saturday morning cleaning, Saturday night going out and Sunday working out and getting ready for the week. I feel like this is a nice balance of enjoying myself and setting myself up to be in a good position for the week.

    1. All the three day weekend trips
      Exercise
      Reading
      Meeting friends for brunch or lunch if you have friends with flexible schedules
      Volunteering – a lot of volunteer opportunities want a consistent day of the week you can be there, so you would be able to do a lot of volunteer gigs that people with five day a week jobs can’t

    3. I have an early Friday end many weeks and here are my ideas:
      -group exercise class
      -1 hour devoted to cleaning (this is the first one that gets cancelled if I make more fun plans, but it greatly helps reduce clutter for me)
      -make social plans in the city (I live in a suburb 30 min out, and this makes it easier to meet friends who don’t live in my suburb but work in the city right as they’re getting off work)
      -try a new place to eat when it’s less crowded
      – do an outdoor activity in the morning before it gets too hot and nap after

      I’d probably do something like a standing volunteer commitment if my early Friday’s were guaranteed every week, but in my case they aren’t.

    4. Not single, but I would use Fridays off to take care of my personal to-do list, like errands, doctors’ appointments, haircuts, etc. I’d probably include a nice lunch, and especially try to meet up with friends, and end the day with a good workout as often as I could.

      I often think I need 3-day weekends–one day to get stuff done, one day for fun, one day to relax.

      1. +1 to your last sentence – I got to enjoy summer Fridays this summer and man, it was so nice to take care of chores and errands and nonsense on Fridays and then bam, the real weekend could start and all I had to do was enjoy it.

    5. Long weekend driving trips to explore new towns, camping, hiking, beaches, whatever is within 3-5 hrs of me (or take the train!)

    6. Definitely lots of long weekend trips and taking care of errands like food shopping while everyone else is working.

    7. Morning yoga class in a studio
      Coffee and bagel in a coffeehouse, with a book
      Shopping and runaround errands so I didn’t have to do it on the weekend days
      Standing Friday lunch date with BFF
      Afternoons for hair, nail, or spa appointments as needed

  23. What are some small to medium sized changes you can make when you feel stuck and blah about your life? The big things aren’t changing for me right now so I’m looking for smaller things I can change. So far, I’m thinking about going into the office more instead of WFH, changing my work schedule to start and end my days earlier. What else? Open to anything!!

    1. Doing a short [30min] workout every morning has huge [positive] impact on my day and mood. Even if nothing else worked out that day, I have the workout done. And a morning workout usually gets me in a “nothing is impossible” mindset.

    2. I like your things!

      Medium size things:
      20-30 minute workouts
      Meditating for a few minutes every day. Every day is the key thing. When I let it lapse too long I get very blah.
      Eating lunch away from my desk. This is a medium size one for me because I’m bad at it.
      Making myself go to a restaurant I’ve never been to.
      Making a new recipe.

      Small changes:
      Listening to music more, including new stuff. Random Spotify playlists are so good for my soul.
      Short walk outside after work with the pup
      Changing my shampoo and conditioner to something new
      Putting on perfume or essential oils every day
      Running my essential oil diffuser or lighting a candle

  24. How do you describe your leadership style? I’m actively interviewing and don’t know how to answer this question. I say I’m collaborative, provide consistent feedback, actively listen to feedback received in return, and aim to be supportive and encouraging. I then give an example of a management situation. Any other ideas?

    1. I say that my job as a leader is to make sure my team has what they need to do their jobs to the best of their ability, then get out of their way.

      1. I say something similar. I tailor my leadership to the needs of the folks I am leading. No one style works for everyone.

  25. I’m trying to figure out some more healthy meals and snacks. My bf put on a few pounds and I’m just trying to get healthier. I have a weakness for things like potato chips, candy, cheese, etc. What are some good alternatives and good go to meals? We both love to cook. Just running out of ideas and trying to be healthier.

    1. A big salmon filet with some kind of glaze (hot honey, hoisin, maple-mustard). Roasted veggies with pesto. Tacos with ground turkey. Carrots and peanut butter (snack option). Every possible stir-fry permutation.

    2. Try to hit the 5-12 recommendations for fruits and veg. As long as you’re not cooking things like tons of creamed spinach it’ll probably make a big difference. I joined a CSA and it’s been super effective in improving my eating habits. You could always wander around a farmer’s market and then have a cooking date night or something.

    3. Lots of healthy recipe ideas on Skinnytaste. Try to stock up on more fruit. I just bought some cotton candy grapes which help curb my sweet craving.

    4. Somebody in the breakfast thread recommended superhero muffins and I’ll second that rec and the entire cookbook. You can find several versions if you google them- I like the original and blueberry beet. I also like David Lebovitz’s recipe for friendship bars (mostly fruit and nuts, easy to make vegan and gluten free with flax eggs and oat flour). Both of those freeze well, so I always have some in my freezer, along with another dried fruit, nut, and chia/hemp seed energy bar I make. I also like to cook, so I figure if I cook from scratch, at least I can use whole grains, nuts, seeds, and fruit in my snacks and desserts and add some nutritional value. Otherwise I try to mostly just eat enough at meals to be satisfied and not feel the need to snack.

  26. Low stakes question here – does anyone love their mouse pad? My mouse pad is looking worse for the wear, but then it hit me that i’ve had the same one for 20 years. If anyone has one they love, let me know!

  27. I’m thinking of upgrading to nice velvet hangers for tops. Is there an equivalent upgrade for pant hangers? Currently have the clear plastic clippy type, but is there a better option?

    Also, traveling tonight and have a super quick layover in San Jose (35 min). Any tips for making that work? Kicking myself for not noticing sooner.

    1. Buy the seat in the front of the plane (like Main Cabin Extra on AA) – it can take half an hour just to get off the plane from the back rows.

      1. If you can’t do that, talk to the flight attendant when you board. I have been on flights where they asked everyone to let people with tight connections get off first.

        1. I think I was having some anxiety about that, but you’re right; I should just ask!

        1. Sometimes you just have to be one of those people that rushes to the front as soon as you land…

          1. If the plane is at all late, they’ll probably make an announcement asking people with no connections or long connections to wait in their seats until those with tight connections get off. Compliance is…spotty, based on what I’ve observed lately. But it’s better than nothing.

    3. San Jose is pretty well organized + relatively small+ easy to navigate. As long as your flight isn’t delayed, you should be ok

    4. I don’t think it normally takes half an hour to get off the plane, even from the back. Maybe 10-15 minutes. And I second that SJC is pretty small and easy to navigate. I think the biggest concern is your bags not making it if you have checked luggage, or there not being room on the plane for your carry-on bag if you have a roll aboard.

      1. if the 35 mins is “wheels down to pushback” don’t forget some of that is taxiing to the gate, waiting for the ground crew, etc. and the doors close on the next flight 10 minutes prior, so it’s really 25 minutes all in.

        OP, if you can’t change seats, ask the attendant for help :)

        1. So my experience is on United but usually if the plane is “on time” (meaning it takes off on time) it lands at least half an hour early. They build quite a bit of flex time into the schedule, so it’ll probably be ok. And the arrival time is supposed to mean the time you get to the gate, not wheels down. If the plane is supposed to arrive at 4 pm and you’re wheels down at 4 pm, the plane is late.

      2. Definitely taking carry-ons; just a weekend trip so shouldn’t be a big deal. Thank you!

    5. I use hangers designed to drape the pants rather than clip them, which I find much more manageable. Mostly I use slim velvet hangers for this, but I also have some multi-tiered pants hangers where I group pants that are similar (I tend to buy in multiples when something works).

  28. I have been a volunteer at a NYC non-profit for the past 5 years and recently joined the board. We’re hosting out first big post-Covid gala soon. I believe in the mission and have dedicated a LOT of my time to direct services work, mostly counseling survivors of intimate partner violence and trauma. However, I am relatively new to fundraising and am finding it a bit awkward so far. Do you have any tips for fundraising from friends and acquaintances without annoying people? I’m mostly requesting direct donations and/or attendance at the gala. Fwiw, I’m confident the people I’m targeting have money to spare–I’m just awkward about asking for money…

    1. Explain to them why the organization is important to you. You could say “I’m committed to this nonprofit because XYZ, which is why I’m giving $X. Can you join me?”

    2. If you’re on the board, do you have to commit to a certain number of tickets to the gala? You can invite people as your guests; they usually understand they will spend at the silent auction to “pay back” for their free ticket. I also ask for silent auction items here and there. Have a few informational packets handy in your purse to give out (IRS letter, solicitation letter, brochure on non-profit). Ask at your local, favourite businesses. Donating an item or gift certificate is often more desirable for the business than purchasing advertising in a program book or underwriting (especially after the last couple of years). It never hurts to ask –and if they say no, ask them if you can ask again next year.

  29. When you do a closet cleanout, do you ever keep things for your daughters/kids? I emptied my closet and all the cute cocktail dresses from fifteen years ago no longer fit so I was going to get rid of them, but then my ten year old said she wanted them. It will be certainly five or six years before she can fit into them- I want them out of my closet. Should I just put them in a bin in the attic until my kids fits them?
    Anyone else share clothes with their kids?

    1. I kept all my size 2 dresses for my 9 y/o. (Right now they’re just taking up space in my closet, but a bin makes sense.). I think she’ll be able to wear them in 3-4 years. She sadly is my shoe size now so will blow past it shortly, but is borrowing shoes for Halloween.

      1. She may or may not! I was the tallest girl my class in 5th and 6th grade and then stopped growing. Everyone constantly talked about how tall I was going to be… and as an adult I’m 5’4″.

        1. Hi, growth twin! My mom is tall and I matched her growth charts year for year until 11… and then I stopped growing at 12.

    2. What your 10-year-old says she wants now is not what she will want when she is 15 and can wear your clothes. Toss ’em.

      Signed, mom of 15-year-old

      1. This is not true for all kids. I am still devastated at some of the things my parents got rid of when I was a teenager because they thought my opinion didn’t carry any weight.

    3. I’m 37 with no children and I’m hanging on to my prom dress and graduation dress just in case!

    5. My mom pitched all her old softball shirts right before that look started becoming cool – was devastating to me as a 14-yr-old. I still have one of my dad’s old jerseys. I vote to keep the unique stuff and donate the rest.

    6. I have a couple of (IMO) really cool, unique, quality, not super “trendy” dresses that I am keeping for my daughter. (I would still wear them now but I finally had to admit they were too short for my age). She may or may not wear them at some point, no pressure.
      My roommate in college had some really cool pieces from her mom from the 70s that we would all fight over wearing. Another woman I know had some really cool 80s cocktail dresses from her mom that managed to be sophisticated nods to the 80s yet not totally costumey that she was totally able to pull off at formals. Because of those reasons I’ve kept my mentioned pieces, but I do think there are a lot of stars that need to align for this to be successful (size; a mom that was fashionable for her time (jury is out if my daughter will see me that way!); a particular person’s ability and desire to pull off something a little vintage and have it fit with their vibe, etc.).

  30. This seems to be a general theme today, but…..MAN am I struggling with the more junior members on my team. And it’s not that they’re fresh out of college – I am late 20s and they are all my age or older than me. But they seem incapable of executing even the simplest of tasks. For example, this week I asked one of them to help with image selection for a report. I gave extremely detailed instructions such as “please clearly label the images as imagename.jpg so it’s easy for the agency to know the intended use” and I clearly listed out the point of contact to ask for each image. Tell me why this person, instead of clearly labeling the images, created INDIVIDUAL FOLDERS for every single image. Yes, the folders are labeled – but now I have to go in and pull one (unlabeled) image out of every folder??? There are also a number of issues with the images that she pulled. I just feel like this was a simple, straightforward request that shouldn’t have been that hard. And because it was a tight turnaround, I had to go in and fix it bc she was offline when I noticed the errors and other weirdness. Our other junior colleague is also incompetent – she responded to a separate request yesterday that said “I am looking for a person in X (so no Y background)” and her response was…. someone with Y background which I explicitly did not want. It’s just so frustrating because everyone on my team who’s a manager and above is so slammed with work, and our junior teammates have light plates but are simply incapable of picking up even the smallest of tasks, and they’ve been on the team for 2+ years with no change. They don’t report into me so I feel somewhat powerless, and the person they do report into is completely slammed and doesn’t have the time to manage them. There is also an awkward dynamic that these underperforming teammates are all outside of the U.S. so the optics of firing more than one would not be great. I really like most of them on a personal level, but they just can’t perform and I feel like it’s been allowed to happen for so long bc “we’re a global team” as if that excuses incompetence!

    Any advice on how to manage this? Our team just got a new boss 2 months ago and I think she’s starting to pick up on this more than our previous boss. I am still early enough in my career that I haven’t had to deal with this kind of situation before (I’ve previously been the junior employee myself!).

    1. That’s so hard that their manager won’t deal with it (assuming they know?). I recommend this book for basically everything but the chapter on Business Parenting in Workjng with you is killing me might be useful.

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