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Updated: May 2, 2019 285 Comments · by

Frugal Friday’s Workwear Report: Stripe Asymmetrical Fit-and-Flare Dress

The Personal Shopper (TPS)

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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. I always like stripes that go in different directions (see this week's Suit of the Week), and this asymmetrical fit-and-flare dress from Banana Republic Factory would be a fun one for a casual day or a creative office. It just seems like a really interesting dress I haven't seen before. I also like that it's machine washable and comes in both a white and black stripe. The dress is available in regular sizes (XXS–XXL) and petite sizes (XXS–L) and is on sale for only $24.99. Stripe Asymmetrical Fit-and-Flare Dress For plus sizes, Vince Camuto has a similar dress in 1X–3X; unfortunately, it's a bit pricier at $144. This dress (with sleeves) from Chelsea28 goes up to size 24 and is on sale for $74.49.  This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support! Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.

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Comments

  1. Houda

    Hey guys, wanted to update on my self-esteem journey: because of some meds, I gained 15-16 kg in less than 4 months, being very short.
    This affected my self-esteem and was creeping up on my mental health. When I noticed I was about to veer into disordered eating territory, I decided to stop. It’s been 10 days and I have lost the swelling in my stomach. No change in my shape otherwise but I am mentally much better, and I started wearing good outfits again. Wednesday was the first time I squeezed back into one of my old pencil skirts just to see.
    My doctor said mt stopping the meds was the right call and just put me on another med 2 days ago. I am still at the dizzy nauseated stage but so happy to have an alternative that doesn’t make me gain so much weight.
    I have a pitch next Friday and I hope to wear my theFold Hampton dress if I fit in, otherwise it will be a green theFold top and black pencil skirt.

    • Ses

      Support and props for taking an active role in your care and pushing for meds that work for you holistically.
      I wish you luck in everything continuing to improve!

    • Marshmallow

      Congratulations! Your outfit options are both lovely. Rock on!
      Also, nothing to do with anything, but maybe one of those sea sickness bracelets could help with the nausea?

    • Ellen

      Don’t fret about this. You can take the weight off fairly easily if you stick to a fun exercise program like I have. I need to get 10000 steps a day and if I go over, the manageing partner gives me a $10 bonus. 5 days a week means $50 and when I get paid every 2 weeks, he gives me $100 in cash, with NO withholdeing ! See if you can get this at work and if you do, you will be svelte in no time! YAY!!!!

  2. anon

    I’d like to start doing yoga more, but studios that are like $30/class are just not in the budget. Any recommendations for much less expensive yoga in DC? I’m not particular as to what kind of yoga. Thanks!

    • ALX emily

      Yoga District is around $12/class and there are several studios around the city!

    • Falstaff

      A lot of studios will have a couple classes a week that are “community yoga” or something for a lower price or a suggested donation, so maybe go through the schedules of the pricey studios and look for something like that. I haven’t used Groupon in a long time, but I used to get all kinds of good yoga deals on there. There are also yoga classes at the library sometimes. You can also try Yoga with Adrienne on YouTube for free, although I think in-person yoga is better, especially if you don’t have a ton of yoga experience already.

    • Anonymous

      Not in DC, but my YMCA offers pretty decent yoga classes at no extra charge.

    • Anonymous

      Try Yoga NoMa – drop-in classes are $15. Disclaimer, it is co-owned by a friend, but a friend I would trust both to guide me through a yoga sequence and not rip me off.

    • DCR

      There is a lot of free yoga in the summer in DC. To some extent, you get what you pay for, but most of them are decent. The Capital Botanic Garden has a year-around free Saturday morning class. Off the top of my head, I also think there are free classes outside at the Wharf in the summer and in Capital Riverfront and NoMa. If you check out the webpages for the local community groups in your area, you may find some more.

      • anon

        There’s free yoga in Malcolm X / Meridian Hill park Sundays from 5-6 in June – August.

    • Anon100

      If you’re in a DC suburb, try looking at the county park & rec classes. Those yoga classes usually are in sessions but breakdown to a much affordable ~$11-15/ 1-hr class.

    • anon a mouse

      This is a great use of something like ClassPass!
      For a specific studio rec, I like Georgetown Yoga, and they have a first-month $48, unlimited classes option for new students. I think their sister studios have the same pricing.

    • FFS

      This isn’t a class suggestion, but since you’re looking for cheap, I recommend the app Down Dog to everyone. It’s a series of postures done with still photos and audio cues, and you can customize by level of difficulty, type of practice, and length (and some other customization with the paid version, but I haven’t tried that). It creates a new series every time, although I think you can save them if you particularly like one. I love it. I don’t feel the need to pay for the upgrades, but I would definitely pay for this app if it wasn’t free.

    • Saguaro

      A studio near me offered free yoga classes with the new teachers. New teachers have to get a certain number of classes done, and they can’t charge for those, so the studio offered it for free for anyone.

      I was new to yoga and really enjoyed it since it gave me exposure to many different types of yoga, and the new teachers were very good! Maybe call around and see if any studios offer this, especially the ones that offer the teacher training.

    • anon

      Do you have a gold’s gym? The one on my city offers several yoga classes and the membership fees are much less expensive. The downside is that they aren’t offered as many times during the day, but it may be worth checking out.

    • Anonymous

      What on earth? Now granted I don’t live in a major city but $30/class for yoga strikes me as absolutely ridiculous. How many people are in this class? Is it like semi private lessons? It’s $10 everywhere I’ve ever been.

      • anon a mouse

        $22-30 is pretty standard for exercise classes across DC. Fancier boutiques like Solidcore are easily above $30.

        • LaurenB

          Chicago area and that’s just a bit above the price points here. $10 for a yoga class?? Haha!

        • Worry about yourself

          Yep, same for the Boston area, hence why I use ClassPass, and buy discounted 10-class packages at studios I like whenever I can. SoulCycle is absolutely ridiculous, their intro package $20/class. Studio memberships are also wicked expensive and really only make sense if you plan to go 3-4 times a week.

      • emeralds

        Yeah I’m not in a major market like DC or NY, but even in my MCOL area drop in classes at fancy studios are $25-$28.

      • Parfait

        Same general range in Los Angeles. Fortunately i do go 3-4 times a week so i can get decent value out of a monthly package.

    • Anonymous

      1) as noted, Yoga District is pretty affordable
      2) check out Washingtonian for free classes
      3) try free Saturday am yoga at the Kennedy Center

      Have fun!

  3. Anon

    What is the value of networking with judges at a bar event? Recently attended a fancy event for federal litigation attorneys in my city. I noticed that some people seemed to walk around trying to identify and chit chat with judges at the event. But I didn’t quite know what to say when someone introduced a judge to me.

    • Anon

      This may be a function of my small state, but it helps them learn your face and who you are before you appear in front of them in court. Our state supreme court justices often come to local networking events. It’s really nice.

        • The original Scarlett

          In all the ways it always helps to know people you’re working with.

        • Anon

          I honestly don’t mean this rudely, but if you are a litigator and don’t understand the value of developing relationships with judges, I’m not sure how else to explain it. The same may not be true for other practice areas, but ditto Scarlett – it always helps to know your colleagues or the people making decisions about your cases.

          • Suburban

            Additionally, if you’re younger, you may be shocked to learn how much the judges who show up to these things value the idea that the bench and the bar are a community. They want to get to know the people appearing before them. It’s not so much about traditional networking as it is about recognizing that you’re part of a professional community.

            Also, when a busy and grumpy judge brightens up because she recognizes me from one of these things it always impresses my client even if it won’t affect the outcome of her case.

      • Anonymous

        I’m in a niche practice in a small bar. Reputation is everything in my practice. The judges have to trust you to make arguments that make sense and to concede points that you’re clearly going to lose. They will give you the benefit of the doubt on close calls because they know you and they know your work and they trust that you won’t try to BS them. The presumption of competence is a huge plus. I can’t definitively say that I would win a case that a stranger to the bench would lose, but I know I will put my client’s best possible foot forward, in part because I have an excellent reputation with the person who is deciding my client’s case.

        Of course, you don’t build a reputation by going to a few happy hours, but you also don’t build a reputation by only signing the brief and never actually showing your face to the judge. It’s cumulative. You need to get your name and face in front of the judge in as many positive ways as possible. A happy hour is a low cost way to do that.

    • Anonymous

      If you’re not a litigator, and none of your clients end up in court, I will say this – it doesn’t. This makes litigation attorneys quite mad at times. I am not a litigator, but enough of my clients end up in court (those matters get passed on to my colleagues) that I have enjoyed having enough of a professional relationship with judges that they recognize me, smile, and remember my name. They don’t know who I represent, but if my name ever shows up on a brief, I would like to think that the same reaction of “Oh, I know her! She’s nice” will be the first thought before switching to the professional, analytical read. My two cents.

    • Anon

      I think this varies a lot by practice area and type of practice. I’m a biglaw litigator who does big commercial litigations. I have never had two cases in the same court, yet alone before the same judge. So, I don’t personally see a value to being introduced to the federal judges in my area. I’m unlikely to ever have a case before them, and if I did it would likely be 10+ years in the future.

      But I’m bad at networking. So, maybe I’m missing something too

    • Monte

      I agree with everyone else on why knowing judges you may already in front of is helpful. Beyond that, though, networking with federal judge is often just good networking. Because of the nomination process, many federal judges are just really connected folks — serving on various boards, well tapped in to the larger legal and political communities, etc. Those connections can be more helpful than just Joe Blow junior law firm partner.

  4. Cb

    London folks – I’ll be doing some work in London (Westminster) for a week in June. I’ve got hour long meetings, spaced over the 4 days, so lots of annoying downtime. Recommendations for cute coffee shops where I could camp out for an hour or two between meetings? Any nice things to see in the area? I’ll be staying in Greenwich and commuting in every morning so I can’t nip back to a hotel.

    • Ribena (formerly Hermione)

      Make sure to go to Parliament Square to see the Millicent Fawcett statue!

      • Cb

        Oh good shout, I haven’t seen it yet. And it’ll be a good antidote to the voices of the establishment I’ll be meeting with.

    • Houda

      Stating the obvious but you have Westminster Abbey right there
      Usually when I have meetings in Westminster, I prefer to grab coffee down in Victoria, it’s not much of a walk
      If you have maybe 45 min or so, you can take the 211 bus in Westminster. It goes through many sites and feels like the hop-on hop-off bus minus the price tag and tourists

      • Cb

        Awesome, thanks! I am hoping to do a bit of shopping as well – Edinburgh just doesn’t have the same range.

        • Ribena (formerly Hermione)

          I always go to Uniqlo when I’m in London! I wish we had it in Edinburgh,

          • Cb

            Uniqlo might be the motivation for my trip! Going to Cardiff the following week which also has very good shopping.

    • London anon

      Westminster as in City of or Palace of? If the latter, Iris & June round the back of House of Fraser on Victoria Street (but the wifi is bad so you need to be able to tether off your phone), the National Gallery cafe on Trafalgar Square, Notes at Cardinal Place or on St Martin’s Lane, the cafe at the Garden Museum at the south end of Lambeth Bridge. Also the Southbank Centre or one of the upstairs spaces at the National Theatre (don’t drink the coffee, it’s dire) – the southbank is always a good walk in spring. They’re all about 15-20 minutes walk to the Houses of Parliament but it’s a bit of a desert round here for casual space.

    • Jules

      St. Margaret’s church right across from Westminster Abbey is charming, we popped in briefly on a visit to London about 10 years ago and got an impromptu, private tour from a very friendly staff member; our best photos of Big Ben were taken from its windows. It also has a small, homey, no-frills cafeteria in the basement, and I’m sure you could hang out there to work or rest for a couple of hours.

  5. Anon for this

    WWYD? My attorney spouse is trying to decide between two opportunities since his company got merged and position is being eliminated.
    – Option 1 is a temporary position (6 mos to 1 year) at a well-known company. Pros would be the (good) salary and the name brand on the resume while he figures out what’s next. Cons would be the commute (1-1.5 hours each way, ugh) and low-grade annoyance with corporate policies and paper-pushing.
    – Option 2 is joining a small firm where the comp is based on billables. Current workflow / firm finances are in good shape. Pros would be excitement at working for himself, ability to keep a broad set of skills fresh, and extremely short commute. Con is mostly the variable compensation and tendency of his partner (um, me) to be risk-averse… but if the firm continues its current path, the comp would actually be better than option 1. Also, due to its size, it’s not as big of a “quick resume-skim oh you were at Company X, they have a good reputation, you’re a known quantity” effect on a future job search.

    Fortunately, our finances and fixed expenses are in good shape, so either option is viable. Struggling to weigh the pros/cons! Help please?

    • Anonymous

      I’d take the smaller, local job in a heartbeat. The potential for some insecure income doesn’t seem like a big deal in my books. It sounds like you guys are very far from actual financial suffering, and that both of you are full of skills that will mean you can keep earning a living, even if this job doesn’t work out for some reason.

      There’s no way to engineer risk out of your lives. The better way is to learn how to be the kind of person who doesn’t cave when it shows up. The way you learn that is by …risking a little, maybe falling, and learning that you can recover.

    • Cb

      I am equally risk adverse but I’d lean towards 2. It would be annoying to start a job and immediately have to start thinking about and looking for another one. Also, I think a commute is such a big thing when it comes with life satisfaction.

      • Wanderlust

        +1 for Option 2. Plus, if in 6 months to 1 year, your spouse feels like Option 2 wasn’t the right choice for him, he could go back on the job market again and be in a similar position to where he would be if he chose Option 1.

        • Anon

          I think it would be a lot to get another in-house job from option 2 as compared to option 1. They will wonder why he moved back to private practice and he won’t have the name recognition of option 1 on his resume.

    • tesyaa

      Not a lawyer, but which aligns better with his interests & experience? A friend of mine who was downsized very successfully used a temporary contract position (with excellent compensation) as a bridge to another full time opportunity. If the commute is the other main downside, I assume he was commuting in his previous role too? I’m a firm believer in not taking a role because it’s a good commute, having been burned by doing just that in the past.

    • Anon for this

      Thanks all – to answer a few Q’s – current commute is 40-minute train (fine). Option 1 commute is 1-1.5 hour drive (which he really does not like to do). Option 2 commute is a 10-minute walk.

      His personality is probably a better match for Option 2. It’s the “setting yourself up for future opportunities” that’s the struggle.

      • Anonymous

        Which one does he WANT to do?

        And why is “setting yourself up for future opportunities” a struggle for him? Or is you that are struggling with that in some way. If so, what are you struggling with?

      • Anonymous

        That commuting time comes out of somewhere. I did my professional reading on the train b/c it filled my downtime. Now as a car commuter, I struggle to get that part of my job done. I hate doing work in my house and resent it (and my family does, too, when I walk in the door and have to go back to work). I exercise less.

        Might he be at Job 2 in a year anyway? Why not start now? Do you think he’ll be bad at it?

        FWIW, in BigLaw, nothing but originations really matter. If you’re not originating, you’d better be necessary to someone with a ton of originations, otherwise, you’ll probably be pushed out at some point unless you devote your life to billing.

      • Anon

        Don’t underestimate the impact of a long driving commute – delays, stress, accidents, etc. I think a shorter commute is a HUGE perk.

    • The original Scarlett

      Different take. I don’t think the right focus is the commute. It’s the kind of practice he wants to have. If he’s been in-house, which it sounds like, then option 1 is better because it keeps him in that space. It’s also likely that if he integrates there that it extends past the initial time period. Going back to a firm is a different path, and it can be hard to bounce back and forth and still keep moving up (you can bounce back and forth, but you hurt your narrative, it’s like constantly making lateral moves). I’d take option 1. I’d also explore the rigidness of the company, don’t know where you are but in my area, companies are flexible in part to help with rough commutes. If it’s not flexible, I’d just convert the commute to work time (I know this brings out the distracted driver commentary) but I used to do an in-house job with a 1-1.5 hour drive and just made the drive part of my work day and did a lot of conference calls during the drive.

    • DCR

      I would take option 1 over option 2 in a heartbeat. For me, Option 1 would provide a decent landing spot as I considered options and job hunted for my next move. Option 2 would be hell, where I was consistently thinking about how to get clients or more work. But the idea of variable comp based on billables freaks me out and I have no desire to have to bring in clients, which seems to be the ultimate endgame for option 2.

      It depends on what his end goal is. Does he want another in-house job or does he want to be a rainmaker responsible for obtaining clients?

        • Anon

          I could not agree more. The name on his resume will help him, and he can job-hunt from a position of strength (temporary role at a great company).

      • Anonymous

        Option 2 is how a lot of the world works though. Small firm, small business, real estate agent, anyone in sales. It is really, really normal. What I hate about BigLaw / big companies is that they fool you into thinking that this isn’t how the world works. It is exactly how the world works.

        • DCR

          Yes, but this is why I don’t want to be in private practice. I didn’t want to be a partner in BigLaw cause I didn’t have to get clients, and I don’t want to work in a mid/small firm for the same reason. If I wanted to be in sales, I would have gone in to sales. Therefore, when considering jobs, I’m open to in-house, government, or non-profits and no longer consider firms.

        • Small Law

          Small law here and my receivables are what matter. They of course like origination but they are perfectly happy with me just servicing the work from the two big partners. I have a bonus structure based entirely off of the money that comes in the door for the work that I do.

          It is important that in analyzing option 2 he figures out which is more important. I would hate having to hussle for origination to have any money too. I have no problem having my money tied to my receivables. I work a mix of hourly and contingency for what it’s worth. That means I have years I hit it big on contingency and years I don’t so I also need to have a base I can live on. I’m still expected to shoot for receivables around 3x my base.

          • Anon for this

            Yes, his comp would vary depending on whether he originates or services (higher % for the former, obviously), and he would get comp if someone else services a client he originated. We figured out he could replace his current salary if he billed 30 hours a week on servicing (after taking out the firm’s share and taxes).

          • Anon

            Othing to consider, if his comp is based on his receivables (as opposed to his billing), you can’t assume that 100% of his billed hours will be recovered. Some gets written off by the relationship partner, some gets discounted by the firm, some never gets recovered, etc. Assuming he is planning to spend at least some of that time servicing other’s clients, I would investigate what the standard billed to recovered rate is. It can vary a lot firm to firm and relationship partner to relationship partner.

      • Anonymous

        Most doctors and nurses I know (other than plastic surgeons who do solely cosmetic, not reconstructive, work) are not out there hustling for work. Work comes to them. But upstream at the hospitals, it’s all “we need a refresh on the maternity floor b/c Hospital X upgraded their L&D suites and we’re losing market share to them.”

        I guess it is an illusion that marketing isn’t our job. I guess if it’s not our job, we live at the peril that the marketers won’t work their magic and we’ll be out of jobs.

    • Anonymous

      Why doesn’t he have more options? Why isn’t a real permanent job or a lateral move an option. Is it the timing, the market, his skill level? If it’s just a matter of timing, I’d vote option one and keep looking. If it isn’t, then maybe option two, but only if that’s the best job he’s going to get.

    • anon

      My dad did option 2 when I was a young kid. I’m not going to lie, there were definitely some lean years. He and my mom had to make some touch financial decisions, and we did not have the lifestyle of a biglaw attorney, but the flexibility and the ability to be with his family was worth it for him and he’s been able to take on business he is excited about. He ended up doing very well. He also received several offers over the years to join a big law firm (he never took them) so that may be an option for your husband down the road again.

    • Anon for this

      Thanks everyone. His heart is with option 2, but option 1 feels like the responsible/sensible choice he “should” make. He’s trying to figure out what he wants for the future — he has a big, awesome, independent self-motivated get sh!t done streak but the flip side of that is frustration with corporate bureaucracy, which is a big part of many in-house positions… but he doesn’t want Biglaw-type demands on his time either (and neither do I!). He started out at a mid-size firm and enjoyed it, though he went in-house because it paid better.

      He’s annoyingly too senior for most openings at 10+ years out of law school (most openings are at the in-house entry level of 5-7 years out); higher-level roles don’t open up as frequently as they’re often filled by internal promotions. So he’s had SEVERAL frustrating “wow we really like you, but we don’t think you’ll be happy in this position” conversations as he would be reporting to someone with roughly his same level of experience.

      • Anonymous

        Your husband sounds like he has the perfect personality and work style for option 2, and he’ll have much more long term success and fulfillment if that’s true. It honestly sounds to me as though the only thing holding him back is your hesitation. What difference does it make if he can’t get back into big company work if he doesn’t want to do that work? Everyone I know who has made this kind of switch (all men, BTW) is much happier and financially successful.

      • Small Firm IP Litigator

        Option 2. I could absolutely never ever ever go in-house for the reasons you describe. And having a long commute is super horrible. I am probably biased because I am a small/midsize firm lawyer and have a 5 min commute, but I think I have work preferences and style similar to your husband. I love working at a place where I personally know every single lawyer and staff member – it is a great feeling and feels like a work family, but it is also a zillion times easier to get things done.

        Option 1 doesn’t sound that great anyways. It is short-term, and even if long-term, the earning potential in-house isn’t really very high anyways unless you are the GC of a massive company or something like that.

        If he wants to be in private practice long term, actually working in private practice is likely going to look better on his resume than some in-house position at some massive company. I guess there could be exceptions, but we won’t hire from in-house.

    • K

      If the Option 2 firm is in good shape and he can get enough work from others to keep him busy for the foreseeable future, Option 2 realistically isn’t that much of a risk. Sure, something catastrophic could happen to the firm, but that could happen in any company (see, his situation now). I would say try Option 2 out and see how it goes, and if it’s too much stress or not enough money for your family, he can plan to continue to job hunt and get a new job in a year or so, which is where he would be with Option 1 anyway. The “known quantity” thing isn’t at all compelling to me — any future employer who is interested in him will take the time to understand what his work history means, even if they don’t instantly recognize the company name.

  6. Recruiters?

    What are your tips on working with recruiters for a career change? Independent recruiting firms that reach out to you on Linkedin? In house recruiters? I’ve been get a lot of requests for connection from random recruiters on Linkedin and am ambivalent about whether to accept, which ones to work with if I’m potentially looking to move, how to vet the recruiting firms, etc.

    • Recruiters?

      By career change, I mean within the industry (big law –> different firm or in house, maybe different city), not a complete turnaround (big law –> computer scientist). Also appreciate resources for career coaches if you felt they were beneficial!

    • K

      Just keep in mind that recruiters only get paid if they convince you to change jobs, and they get paid by your future employer, so that’s who they work for (not you). Take anything they say/advise with a healthy dose of skepticism, especially if you weren’t looking to move. They’re essentially creating a market for their services by planting the idea with you that you’d be interested in a change.

  7. Daffodil

    On the theme of travel recs that seem to be popular this week, any recommendations for Sydney and Melbourne? Going there for 2 weeks in June, and still need to book hotels, restaurants, etc. We love good food and wine, and also the outdoors. Thank you!

    • Mpls

      Melbourne – the Queen Victoria Market, Viceroy Park, and a footy (Aussie Rules Football) game. See the 12 Apostles/Great Ocean Road (at least some of it).

      • Mpls

        Sorry – Fitzroy Gardens, not Viceroy Park. But, they may not be great in the winter, now that I think about it.

    • Anonymous

      I’d vote for a trip to Phillip Island. The koala reserve is extremely well done, the beaches are stunning (brisk for swimming but great for walking) and the fairy penguins waddling across the beach to nest at night is incredible. Stay one night on the island if you can or take a bus tour (don’t drive back to Melbourne after the penguins – it will be too late and dark). Lots of nature, easy drive from the city.

    • Not that Anne, the other Anne

      Both Melbourne and Sydney have botanic gardens, if that’s your kind of outdoors. The Sydney garden is very close to the Opera House, too.

      In Melbourne, I stayed in a hotel not far from Lygon St, which gave me access to all the little cafes and restaurants in Little Italy. It also meant I was close to the Melbourne Museum and Royal Exhibition Building, which have some gardens around it.

      In Sydney, I’ve usually stayed near Central Station, which is convenient for shops, restaurants, and transport.

    • Explorette

      If you love the outdoors, skip Sydney and go to Tasmania. It’s fantastic, one of the few places I can’t wait to visit again (and I’m in the “not the same place twice” camp). Lots of hiking and biking trails, plus the east coast is a gorgeous coastal area. Although…June is their winter, so maybe it won’t be so nice.

      • Cora

        Dark MOFO is on in June and brightens up the dark somewhat! Hobart has MONA and is generally picturesque. Tassie also has lots of wineries, good food, whiskey.

    • Anonymous

      I’m in Melbourne!! It will be cold and dark (relative to where you are from I guess, it doesn’t get to freezing here) but still the best city in the world ;)

      I’d stay in the CBD for convenience, and if not, make sure you’re near a tram line. Trams make it easy to get around without walking too much, and they’re free in the CBD. If you want to be near the CBD but not in it, the St Kilda road part of southbank (the part north of domain interchange) has millions of AirBNB apartments and is boring itself, but is opposite the botanic gardens, walkable or 5 min tram to the city and main train station, near the gallery and arts precinct, and most trams go down that route so easy to get to South Yarra, Windsor, Balaclava, Fitzroy, Carlton, South Melbourne, St Kilda, Port Melbourne etc. Otherwise up near Melb uni at the other end of that tram route (near Lygon) is also convenient and cute.

      I’m not up with the latest restaurants but check Broadsheet or Urban List. A few I’d recommend in the CBD are San Telmo, Gingerboy, Chin Chin. Breakfast (non-alcoholic) is massive here as well (get out of the CBD for this, but any of the main streets in the suburbs I listed above will have plenty), and we love our coffee/cafes to the extent that Starbucks failed here.

      Winery region is either the Yarra Valley or Mornington Peninsula, both about an hour from the city. I prefer the Yarra as there’s also cheese shops, the gin distillery in Healesville, and some nice walks up that way as well. There’s also Healesville Sanctuary which is the zoo with native animals (the zoo in the city has some but Healesville is only native animals). Healesville is nice to stay in for a night.

      I’d go to the Great Ocean Road over Phillip Island. Drive the inland route to Warrnambool then make your way back along the road, stay a night if you can because it’s a long drive with stops.

      If you’re there for a weekend and like sport, go to an AFL match at the MCG.

      I’m not a massive fan of Sydney but it’s much harder to get around because of the lack of trams. It’s pretty and has the photo ops with the opera house, but that’s about it. I agree to stay around Central, if you’re in the CBD itself it can be harder to get around.

  8. Midlevel In a Rut

    Attorneys: In your experience, are there any transactional practice areas that have a better life balance than M&A? Bonus points if it doesn’t require a specific background knowledge, and general corporate / M&A transactional experience might provide a way to pivot into such field!

    • Anon

      Not exactly what you were asking, but I transitioned from regional biglaw M&A (not Skadden hours, e.g., but still long) and moved to a new city and got a job at a firm that does general corporate counsel (with an emphasis on M&A) for small businesses (and some slightly bigger ones) in a suburb of a midsized city. Deals aren’t as big name, but the clients don’t usually expect weekend work or crazy turnaround times. Used my general drafting skills and now do way more operating agreements, stockholders agreements, employment agreements, and SPAs/APAs instead of mergers and public filings. Paycut was about 25%, I cut out a few things (personal trainer) and started budgeting more carefully (meal prep instead of lunches out, no more buying random stuff on Amazon just because someone recommended it).

      Since I do a bigger variety of things, I feel intellectually challenged in a different way (I need familiarity with employment law and tax law in a way I didn’t before), even though the deals themselves aren’t as sophisticated. If that sounds appealing to you, I would recommend looking into firms that have that kind of practice.

      • IHHtown

        This is also similar to what a general corporate counsel role is in-house (which also comes without the pressure of billables). Consider corporate counsel positions with an M&A component (taking deals down from “all the time” to “a few every year” is sooo much more doable lifestyle wise).

    • The original Scarlett

      Go in-house to do contracts drafting. Most companies have a major need for this.

    • buffybot

      Basically any of them – I think M&A is particularly miserable. Of course, practices like capital markets and leveraged finance and the like have significant deadlines and uneven workloads but I doubt they’re worse than M&A!
      I think for work-life balance, it’s maybe less about an area of law and more the type of practice that you develop: for instance, capital markets can be very deadline driven, but if you work largely on structured notes or shelf offerings, things will be less complex and less urgent. I think the smaller, more “flow”/repeatable type transactions lead to a more predictable work-life balance. Negotiating “relationship” style agreements are also often slower paced and replicable: outsourcing, vendor or confi agreements or prime brokerage docs or various master agreement forms.
      The tradeoff is that things may be less cutting edge on a day to day basis.
      This is not what you asked, but for any lawyers considering a path forward, let me make a plug for a regulatory practice! Bank or broker-dealer reg, ERISA, exec comp, etc. As a specialist at a law firm, you often have a better work life balance and clients are not always expecting answers ASAP.

    • Anonymous

      Work in-house for a lender. Your M&A experience will be helpful but the lifestyle will be better.

    • Equestrian attorney

      Former M&A (with a tech focus), now in-house in tech doing general corporate and some M&A (smaller deals, but still a pretty acquisitive company – I enjoy M&A practice, so I’m glad I can occasionally still flex that muscle in a less stressful environment). Definitely better hours, except the week before a closing, but they are fewer and further between.
      If you want to stay in a firm, we had a few people transfer from M&A to a specific market practice (so someone who did a lot of M&A for franchises moved to the franchising department, for ex). Hours weren’t a lot better but I think they were more stable because there wasn’t the whole “all hands on deck for a closing” situation.

      • Triangle Pose

        This is exactly me and I LOVE it “Former M&A (with a tech focus), now in-house in tech doing general corporate and some M&A.”

    • Anon

      From a different perspective, I do M&A in house and the work life balance is much much better than at a firm. As in house counsel you control your own schedule and have a MUCH better sense of what is and isn’t important and can see deadlines and days with a heavier work load coming from much farther away. Plus, we hire outside counsel for a lot of the grunt work, so you are more in a managing role (this is handled differently company by company). On a really intense deal, my “late nights” might consist of leaving the office at 7 and a call at 9 due to another time zone. I love it, best of both worlds of my interest in M&A and maintaining a better lifestyle.

  9. Anon

    Any recs for affordable yoga studios in DC? I did a free trial week at core power yoga and would like to do yoga regularly, but it’s cost prohibitive. Thanks!

    • Anon Lawyer

      I feel like it super depends on where you are but I absolutely love Past Tense Yoga in Mt. Pleasant.

  10. Anon

    What is the benefit to selling your house without listing it? We have a realtor for buying a house. If we found someone to buy our house, could they not use a realtor and we could save that money? Or should we just list it to see how high we can get?

    • Anon

      We would be selling to attorneys and I am an attorney, btw. I wouldn’t usually do it myself. It’s more like I’m wondering if our realtor could do the whole thing and then just take 3% rather than double that for two realtors.

    • tesyaa

      So, usually buyers who buy without a realtor *also* think they’re going to be saving the cost of the commission. That’s one of the (possibly illusory) benefits of buying a FSBO. You can’t both benefit fully (though you can split the difference, but it’s difficult to quantify because you don’t get as many potential buyers without a realtor. In my personal experience (both buying and selling), (good) real estate agents do add value and often help with negotiations etc.

    • Cat

      Doing it yourself is better than a bad realtor, that’s for sure. If the buyers also don’t have a realtor, you can offer to split the commission savings.

      With most homebuyers browsing homes on Zillow etc. it’s not like no one will be able to find out your home is for sale if you don’t use an agent. Honestly, when we were house-hunting we found more places ourselves than our realtor did…

    • anon a mouse

      The biggest benefit is you don’t have to stage your home, get it 100% ready for the market, be ready for showings at the drop of a hat. If you have kids or pets that’s a pretty big benefit. You can hire the settlement company to represent you in the transaction, so you have someone looking out for your interests. You don’t pay commission but the buyers may expect a discount for that.

      The risk is that you might not make as much money as if you listed it — but that’s very market dependent and you’d have to pay commission in that case anyway.

    • Anonymous

      Honestly, I’d always want to know what the market price is. Do you think you are getting that (without letting costs / fees factor in)?

      What do you think you could list your house for today that would result in an office Sunday night? That’s a price that is slightly below market, that would urge a serious buyer to snap it up. Is that what you are getting? That’s the price I’d want to know and be comfortable with before deciding what to do next.

      FWIW, if you could sell for slightly higher in 3 months, then think of the cost of 3 more mortgage payments and the inconvenience . . . and whether that isn’t really the same # with more cost/fees/expenses factored in.

    • Anon

      In our very competitive/HCOL market, the best way to make sure we’re getting last dollar of purchase price for our home is to list and run an auction-like process with a broker. We had an off market offer but we want last dollar. Our off market offer person suggested we sell the house to them for $500k (vs. likely sale prices around $520-530)…. which benefits them and not me. They get the benefit of the lower purchase price and, sure I might net to the same last dollar, but for no added benefit of having a middle man (my broker) to handle the negotiation. I said if you want no brokers, I still want the market value of my home, and they didn’t like that.

      We’re listing the week after Mother’s Day…eep!

    • Anon

      Usually Realtors have a clause that if the buyer doesn’t have a Realtor, the seller’s Realtor gets 5% instead of 3%. I would assume it works the other way around if the buyer has a Realtor and the seller doesn’t. Someone has to do all of the paperwork.

    • Anon

      If it’s a hot market I don’t think you need one. I bought my house (my first) a year and a half ago and neither I nor the seller used a realtor. A mutual friend put us in touch. I’m very happy to have saved all that money. Getting all the paperwork and other tasks done took a long time and was kind of a pain, but I absolutely don’t think it would have been worth paying a realtor thousands of dollars to do it for me.

      • Anon

        A buyer only saves money if the seller reduces the price by the amount seller would have paid the agent, and it can be difficult to know if seller is doing that (unless you competed with other offers where buyers had realtors and seller chose you even though you were paying a lower price). At least in our state, all commissions (buy and sell side) come out of the purchase price so there is no incentive for buyers not to use a realtor. My last two homes, I sold agreeing to pay the buy-side commission of 3% because it significantly increases the buyer traffic, but I did not use a realtor as the seller and saved the other 3%. Both times I was glad I did it that way (though I am a lawyer).

    • Anon

      As an alternative option if you are just wanting to save money, does your area have redfin? I saw recently that there selling fees were down to like 1%, although that may vary by market. I wouldn’t want to use them in a slow market, but think it would be fine in a hot area

  11. Ann Perkins!

    Random question of the day – we are very lazy coffee snobs (love good coffee in a french press on the weekends but contentedly drink grocery-store-brand swill from a Mr. Coffee during the week when we’re busy). Our coffee maker needs replacing and I’m debating about what to replace it with – I use a Keurig at work but I don’t actually care for the coffee (although I can’t put my finger on why). What do you use?

      • pugsnbourbon

        I have a similar pitcher from Takeya (bought on Amazon) and it rocks.

        A few years ago we got a Braun drip coffeemaker and a Mr Coffee burr grinder. They’re both still going strong.

    • Cb

      My husband uses an electric kettle and a Hario dripper. Cheap, easy to clean and it doesn’t take up any space. He has an aeropress as well but prefers the dripper for ease. I think you can get double ones.

      • Anonymous

        Personally, I think most of the Kcup coffee i’ve tried is terrible. I think it’s probably a combo of not enough grounds, stale grounds and the time the water spends being pushed through could be too short. I find the nespresso pods to be better coffee. But I do a pour over in the morning with hot water that i heat up in the microwave. It makes the perfect cup.

    • mascot

      You can have your fancy French press during the week too. We have a programmable drip coffee pot that I fill with water only and program to come on in the morning. I then pour the hot water in the French press, let it steep while I shower or whatever and I have delicious coffee a few minutes later.

    • Ribena (formerly Hermione)

      I have a Russell Hobbs filter machine with a timer – it was an upgrade from a Hario-style dripper in that it’s completely hands free (no need to keep topping up the cone) and of course being able to set it up the night before. I took the dripper to work so now I can have good coffee there.

    • Leatty

      Also a coffee snob, but I use a Breville Barista Express for my first cup of coffee (technically a latte) every day. In less than 5 minutes, I have a delicious latte. It’s really easy to use, and I can do other things (like scramble some eggs) while the milk steams. It’s more effort than a keurig (which I also use daily), but tastes infinitely better!

    • The original Scarlett

      I love our Nespresso. A billion times better than a Keurig in terms of taste. I personally like it better than the pourover/ French press style though, so you might want to try it before committing. If there’s a store near you, they make samples in store.

    • anon

      You don’t like the keurig coffee because the coffee ground to water ratio is not correct. The grounds are also not fresh and lower quality than what you normally have for specialty coffee. That green mountain that offices tend to have is terrible.

      During the week I make a single cup pour over before I go to work and I take my coffee with me.

      The mechanism is the same for drip coffee, though, so if you need to make more than 1 cup, I’d get a drip coffee maker. Maybe even one that grinds the beans too and has a timer. My MIL uses a cuisinart one (not sure which) and it seems to work well. The Chemex makes great coffee, but it tends to take a lot longer.

      • Never too many shoes...

        I have a Cuisinart with the burr grinder and it makes a very nice pot of Saturday morning coffee, plus the stainless steel carafe keeps it hot (which I prize – it is the one complaint I have about my office nespresso).

  12. Anonymous

    Looking for advice on how to find out what my company’s maternity leave policy is, or if I’m just overthinking it? I work at a small biotech and I recently went through all my on-boarding/company policy documents and find no mention of maternity leave policy. We outsource HR to another company, and I’ve gotten in touch with them to find out if they know – they didn’t know and said they would try to find out but I haven’t heard back. We have a finance person in our office that serves as the de facto HR person, but I’m reluctant to ask him since we haven’t even started TTC yet. Is this just a situation where I’m overthinking it and should just suck it up and talk to our de facto HR person? Or would it be better to speak to one of the women in an executive position at the company and ask them? I’m not sure specifically what I’m worried about by asking our finance/HR person (he is not my supervisor and I don’t have reason to believe he would gossip with other people at the office), but it just seems like being discrete is the best way to go.

    • LAnon

      I think you should just continue to follow up with the outsourced company. Is there anyone at the company you know has taken maternity leave? That would be my next choice, and I think you could be vague about it (“Oh, Joe and I were looking ahead to the next few years and I realized I don’t have a clue about the maternity policies here – what was your experience?”) I wouldn’t approach a woman in an executive position about it unless you know that she has taken maternity leave while at the company – it’s not her job to be well versed in female-specific policies just because she’s a woman and she’ll probably just refer you back to the HR company or HR person.

      • Anon

        +1 Follow up with the outside company, or ask someone who has taken maternity leave. Don’t ask a woman unless you know she’s had a baby while at the company!

      • Anonymous

        Thanks, good point about not asking just because she’s a women. Both of the executive women have children but not while they were with the company. I have asked a friend at the company who has been here much longer than I and she cannot think of anyone (man or woman) who has had a baby while at this company, so unfortunately no one to ask. Hopefully the outsourced HR company comes back with something.

      • Anonymous

        In speaking with the outsourced HR company, yes, there is a minimum maternity leave available to me through the short term disability program that the company participates in, and some protections due to state law. So thankfully I know what the basic situation would be but I’m trying to find out the specifics (can I take a longer leave, how much of my salary is covered and by who, do I have to use my sick/vacation time first, etc).

        • Anon

          IME, at very small companies, there isn’t a formal policy that covers that stuff, especially if they have never dealt with it before. I don’t think you are likely to get a true answer until you are actually pregnant.

          • anon

            Agree. It sounds like you have some rough details, and they just don’t have a more formal policy. I wouldn’t try to hammer out more specifics at this point. If you’re hoping that you will be taking mat leave in the next few years, let yourself have that time to further prove your value to the company. A request for x months extra mat leave or partial pay or whatever is going to be stronger if they’ve known you’re awesome for 5 years versus if they’ve known you’re awesome 3 years.

          • Anon

            Agree with anon &11:06 to a certain extent. If you’re not TTC any time soon, it’s better to hammer out particulars later. But you should NEVER plan your conception plans around how a company might view you, you make plans based on what works best for you and your family. Why play with your fertility by waiting extra years for a company that may or may not treat your better because you’ve been there a little while (Five years, definitely not). I do think there is some value in waiting until you’ve been at a company over a year to give birth (i.e. don’t start TTC until after month 4 or 5) to be protected by FMLA.

          • Anon

            Agree with anon at 11:06 am. My guess is that they don’t have any more details and that pushing now isn’t worth any political capital it may cost.

          • Anonymous

            Awesome, thank you all so much. We are potentially going to start TTC in the next few months so it isn’t technically urgent, but the planner in me naively thought the company would had something written down that I could just read to find out what is in store for maternity leave. I have been at this job for one year and have already built up substantial political capital, but unfortunately I’m not getting any younger so it’s got to be sooner rather than later…

          • 11:06 anon

            I completely agree not to wait for the “perfect” time to start TTC. It sounds like you’ve gotten all the info you can for now. And I know this is a tired refrain, but TTC & any children you are fortunate enough to be able to raise requires natural planners to let go a bit (I say as a planner-by-nature with fertility issues :)).

    • Anon

      I think the fact that you can’t find details means there isn’t a policy. I would look instead for the short term disability and FMLA info.

      • Anon

        They might make one though. My firm didn’t have a policy. I asked, they got all excited about it and then I had fertility issues. Multiple years later still no baby. Finally starting the adoption process and needed the maternity leave info for our home study. They basically said there is one but we don’t know what it is yet. Ultimately, they have decided on 8 weeks paid and 4 more weeks unpaid. I recognize that I am very lucky and this is very generous. I’m sharing to say don’t assume the worst just because there is no policy. That said, I’ve been here (yikes) 8 years now so they want to keep me around.

  13. Communication in Relationships

    Has anyone experienced improvements in your marriage or relationships through reading Gottman books together? If so, would you be willing to share your experience (and maybe give us some hope)?

    My partner and I are trying to improve the way we respond to each other’s bids, because we realized that “turning-away responses” are our default responses, and it’s making things really rough after the honeymoon phase. TIA!

    • anon

      Yeah, I was on the verge of divorcing my husband when we read the 7 principles book and worked through the exercises. It really helped. But nothing helped like doing that plus time.

      Usually when you get to the point of needing to read a book like this, something has happened that has caused one or both of you pain. You have to heal over time, learn to trust each other again.

      So yes, the books helped, but not instantaneously. We’re still married a decade later. There have been ups and downs along the way, but we’re in a good place right now thanks to the foundational stuff we learned in going through that book together.

    • AnonMom

      We actually did one of their local workshops – it was a one-day “getting the love you want”. It ended up being ok. I was afraid it’d be all these couples like, SHARING in public like group therapy but it wasn’t – it was lectures and then break-out periods. In retrospect I think we’d be ok with one of their series of evening workshops over a month or 2 – but then we’d have to arrange childcare, etc.
      We’re still married, we still use the language, we’re still TRYING, and it helps to have the same language and be able to reference the same materials. I really wouldn’t use my marriage as an example to anyone right now, but…. I hope this helps.

  14. Anon

    A partner invited me and my fiance to their house for dinner for cinco de mayo. It will be us, the partner and his wife, and two other partners that recently retired. What do I wear and what do I bring? I know he likes tempranillo wine but I’m not sure that matches the cinco de mayo theme. In case it’s relevant, the partner and his wife are late 70’s.

    • Anonymous

      Just wear what you would normally wear to a dinner party with work folks. When I host, I like getting fresh flowers as a gift. I’m a nutjob who meticulously plans the menu so when guests bring a dish I get annoyed (they are lovey, I am a monster). I also adored one of those home scents things with the sticks that I got once, but that might not be for everyone.

      I sense that the theme might be throwing you off. Just operate as you normally would, and if it comes up know that Mexican Independence Day is September 16, not 5/5.

      Signed, married to a Mexican

      • Anonymous

        No, bringing a dish isn’t lovely. It would be extremely inappropriate at this dinner party. Wine, flowers, chocolates, fancy cookies.

        • Anon

          Why is bringing a dish extremely inappropriate? Does this apply to all dinner parties?

          • Z

            Unless the host asks guests to bring a dish to pass, yes. It is assumed the host is doing all the cooking/arranged catering so bringing food is disrespectful.

          • Falstaff

            Yes. Usually someone planning a dinner party has carefully thought out the menu. It’s ok to ask if you can bring anything and then do what the host suggests, but don’t just show up with a dish.

          • HostessCupcake

            I too am a planner & cooker and if people want to bring a dish of course I let them but really, trust me to host, people.

            But I’m also weird because, like, why do I need a pre-emptive thank you for inviting you? You haven’t even had a good time yet! What if it stinks and you’re like, dang, that was NOT worth giving her a bottle of wine! To me I’d just rather you say thank you and then reciprocate.

            I would say it applies to more formal dinner parties. Less formal parties – like Super Bowl or Thanksgiving or cookouts have different expectations of hosts and guests.

          • Anon

            Because people have planned out the meals and it’s considered presumptive that you know what should be served (and being honest, I’m always skeptical of homemade dishes if I haven’t been in someone’s home before – I don’t know how clean you are, and wouldn’t touch the dish). You need to ask if you should bring a dish before you bring one. Otherwise bring a small token of appreciation that won’t clog up their house for long (something consumable that doesn’t have to be consumed at that meal like wine, liquor, special candies, flowers, etc.).

          • Anon

            Unless it is a potluck or the host asked you to bring a dish, it is always extremely inappropriate.

            The best comparison I can think of is showing up at a restaurant with a dish

          • Equestrian attorney

            Unless the dinner is potluck style, the host has the right to craft their own menu from start to finish, and bringing a dish (unless explicitly arranged, like you’re bringing desert) is very awkward. Bringing wine is more common, although the rule is you shouldn’t be offended if they don’t serve the wine you bring – sometimes it doesn’t work with what they are serving.

          • cbackson

            Yes, you should never bring a dish to an event unless you are asked to do so or its the kind of event where that’s expected. The host plans the menu, and if you bring something, you are throwing off the plan they made for the event that they’re hosting. I’ve had this happen – someone turned up at a dinner party I threw with Swedish meatballs in a crockpot. It was, for logistical reasons relating to how we were serving dinner, a huge PITA, and also didn’t coordinate at all with the food that we were offering.

          • Anon

            What would you do in this situation if you are vegetarian? Tell your 70 something male partner? That feels rude but it would also feel rude to show up and not be able to eat anything

          • Anonymous

            If you’re a vegetarian, I would either mention it or go and eat whatever you can and don’t turn up starving. Same as any dinner party.

          • Wow

            Oops. Sorry about that.

            I don’t like to make waves when invited as a guest. There is always something you can eat as a vegetarian, and you will not die if you have to wait a few hours to have your preferred protein. Or eat it before you go.

            I would NEVER bring my own dish without being asked.

            Either you go and decline what you cannot eat, or you gently let your 70 year old co-worker know your preferences now, if you are concerned they are gong to cook you a pricey steak that would go to waste. I would let him know that you would be happy to bring a home cooked dish to share so as not to cause them extra prep.

            A really hate being an imposition, as a guest. And I similarly groan when I plan a meal for guests and get inundated with requests/preferences/allergies. It’s one reason I entertain less, and have narrowed my circle…

        • Anonymous

          The people ARE lovely, who happened to do a thing that annoyed me. Extremely inappropriate for a dinner party is taking off your top and yodeling about your fan fiction. Etiquette is a way to make people feel comfortable, not a weapon for making them feel bad.

          • Housecounsel

            Best comment of the day – “yodeling about your fan fiction.” Thank you.

    • Anon CPA

      I always bring two bottles of wine. One for us to drink that night and one for them to put in their wine rack and drink at their leisure.

      Although someone came to my house for a dinner party once and brought a bottle of Champagne and a box of crème puffs — and it was positively delightful.

    • editrix

      Friends occasionally bring breakfast, which I love. Granola, coffee beans, fresh fruit.

  15. New York Help

    New York ladies – I need your opinions. I have to spend 3 nights in NYC in early June for work. Hotel choices are the Omni Berkshire, Warwick, or Lotte. It looks like the Lotte is maybe 1-2 blocks further than my destination. Which should I choose?

    • The original Scarlett

      If the Lotte is the Palace, I stayed there and liked it – rooms were big and it was centrally located. I also liked the historic hotel angle. If Chamber Magic is still playing in the hotel, go – I’m not normally one for a magic show, but it was insanely good and fun.

    • Anonymous

      I’ve never been to the Lotte but the Warwick and Omni Berkshire are both fine. I would probably choose the Omni over the Warwick. Nothing special, but nothing wrong with it either.

    • cbackson

      Omni has a really good loyalty program and I think some of the benefits kick in on the first stay.

    • Anonymous

      I’ve stayed at all three. I don’t love that Omni, though that’s what I’d pick due to the loyalty program.

  16. Anon

    Also need NYC hotel recs! I will be passing through for a night on the way to a wedding in Long Island in June, and I’d like to keep it to $300 or less a night and stay downtown or in Brooklyn. Is this possible? I do not need a big room. I love the idea of a boutique hotel… but I’m cheap. Are there good cheaper boutique hotels the hive would recommend? I get overwhelmed quickly looking on Hotels.com.

    On a related note, has anyone stayed in any of the micro-hotels? Are they like hostels? I don’t want a backpacker vibe, but if they are more mature, they seemed like a possible option.

    • anon a mouse

      I’ve stayed at a CitizenM microhotel in Europe and it was great. They now have a couple of NYC locations.

    • buffybot

      My family stayed at the Pod hotel in Williamsburg and thought it was clean and non-hostel like. However, not sure how you’re planning on getting around the city and out to Long Island. If you are relying on public transportation and need later nights/weekend subway service, avoid Williamsburg right now due to L train nonsense.

      Considering the volume of hotels in NYC, your best bet might be something like Hotels Tonight, if you can live with the uncertainty. But for only one night, I bet it would work out well.

    • Junior Associate

      Citizen M Hotel was perfect for this when I stayed in them in Europe. Small minimalistic room, but with king sized bed and full windows so didn’t feel cramped at all, modern bathroom and decor, plus spacious and contemporary common spaces with Vitra furniture. I think they opened a few locations in Manhattan, although maybe check the reviews as to the vibe at the specific hotels? If I remember they were in the $100-$300 price point in Europe, and not roudy or cramped like some hostels.

    • Anon

      I stayed in a micro-hotel in Washington DC – the room was just a very tiny hotel room with a very tiny bathroom. It was a rectangular room where I could almost touch all of the walls by sitting on the bed. It sounds claustrophobic, but they had painted the room with light colors, so it actually wasn’t. There was a tiny desk / nightstand, and a bar against the far wall to hang things on, but no true closet. I really enjoyed it, actually, because it meant I could stay close without spending a fortune.

      Obviously, that’s not NYC, but I imagine it’s the same concept.

    • Anonymous

      Depending how far east the wedding is, you may want to consider staying on LI, particularly if the venue is on the East End, where summer weddings frequently are.

    • Anonymous

      We booked at the William vale through hotels tonight and it was well under $300. Rack rate is higher but there are some food deals on that site.

  17. Anon

    Do any of you New Yorkers happen to have any info about whether it will be harder, about the same or easier to get TKTS tickets for Broadway on Memorial Day weekend? I know the locals tend to leave the city that weekend, but I imagine lots of tourists come and tourists probably have more interest in that stuff.

    • anon

      I imagine it would be more difficult. In my experience, the best way to get TKTS tickets is to go to the South Street Seaport location when they open (11 am) and buy matinee tickets for the next day. The Times Square location only sells tickets for the same day. The Lincoln Center location sells matinee tickets for the next day, but it opens later and may have longer lines–I’ve never waited more than 5-10 minutes at South Street Seaport if you get there at 11.

        • Anonymous

          TKTS closed the Brooklyn booth. You should try the TodayTix app before waiting in line anywhere. I think it will be harder for tourist-friendly fare, maybe less so for plays.

    • Anon

      I imagine it will be busier. If you have an interest in seeing two shows, as an FYI you can bring your ticket stub/receipt within 7 days and cut the line.

  19. Anon

    I realized late yesterday that I have off today. What would you do with an unexpected day off? I don’t want to waste it!

    • Anonymous

      get a mani/pedi, go to sephora for the sale, and do some meal planning/grocery shopping!

    • Shopaholic

      Sleep, workout, get a mani/pedi, run some errands that you can’t usually get to, have lunch somewhere nice with a glass of wine and a book

      Have fun! I am very jealous

    • Idea

      Have you seen Avengers: Endgame yet? 3 hours so getting “paid” to see it might be fun if that’s your thing! Plus if you go by yourself, you can sit where you want, although no one will lean over and tell you what you missed when you go to the bathroom. Mixed blessing.

    • Anon

      Don’t do chores or errands. That’s wasting a day off. Why not go do something adventurous outside, go to a class of some kind, or go to a museum or historical site in your area?

    • Anon

      Thank you all! I’ve settled on shopping for some new summer workout clothes that I feel good in (shorts from previous seasons are too snug and I feel awful in them). Headed to Lululemon, Athleta, and D!ck’s, all in the same outdoor shopping center. Will likely head home after for some R&R (i.e. read on the rooftop of my building).

  20. Anonymous

    Where should we go for Memorial Day to relax, sit by the pool, and maybe take a walk in a cute small town shopping area? Prefer <2 hour drive from DC. Considering the Bavarian Inn in Shepherdstown, WV — anyone been there? Thanks!

    • Idea

      I like Harper’s Ferry for the history and Frederick Maryland is cute. So is Anapolis.

  21. pugsnbourbon

    For additional frugal options – I was browsing Nordstrom Rack online yesterday and there were tons of woven shells and short sleeve tops in the $15-$25 range. Mostly polyester, but might be a good pick for folks looking for “elevated tee”-type tops going into summer.

    • PolyD

      Don’t boot me off this site for this suggestion, but I actually got a bunch of nice tops (of the elevated tee variety, although not all are cut like tee shirts) from Kohl’s. Their Vera Wang line has some nice drapey short sleeve tops, in good solid colors (I love the purple and the olive).

      Yes, they are synthetic and yes it is Kohl’s, but honestly the quality of these tops was better than the most recent tops I got from Banana Republic (regular, not Factory) – those shirts were so thin I could read newsprint through BOTH layers of the fabric.

      • Anon

        I have two fancy (no hood, scoop neck) sweatshirts from Kohls and they are fantastic. Great fit, soft, wear well, nice colors. Half cotton. Been through at least twenty washes with no shrinking and the collars still lay flat. OTOH, I sent back all of my newest LOFT order – the cotton items have gotten way too thin. I don’t want to wear five layers to feel clothed.

      • pugsnbourbon

        I am wearing a striped cotton shirt from Kohl’s today – it’s one of my favorite tops!

        • Housecounsel

          I do not like Kohl’s clothing. Pugsnbourbon mentioned a cotton shirt but there is so much polyester and rayon and sheen there.

  22. Anonymous

    I posted this on the mom’s site yesterday, but reposting here for more eyes and potentially other ideas. thanks!

    I’m in lawyer and my office is very generously throwing me a baby shower next month. Specifically, one of the big rain making partners is hosting it at her new house. I don’t work with her and I am not in her practice group (and some very bizarre things would have to happen to the law in both of our practice areas for us to end up working together, ever), but she knows who I am more than just a face she generally recognizes (but she would never just stop by my office to chat). She is not hosting the shower out of some mentor/mentee relationship, rather she just really likes hosting parties, gets very excited about associates having babies, and wants to show off her house. My ask is this – what is a good hostess gift to get her, a woman who can literally buy herself anything she wants (and does buy herself all sorts of things)? I am going to write a thank you note, but I also want to get her something. I think wine/alcohol is out of the question – both her knowledge and budget far exceed what mine could ever hope to be (and I once was at the same table as her at a charity even the firm sponsored and after winning a bottle of $700 scotch, she just proceeded to open it and pour it into everyone’s glass (regardless of what had been in the glass before, so she kind of treats even really expensive alcohol like water). Also, since we’re not very close, it’s not like I have some secret inside knowledge of particular things that she likes. I don’t want to miss the mark, but I also don’t have a lot of connections to her such that I feel the need to knock it out of the park with this gift or otherwise it will directly impact my career. Budget would be $100 or less (unless you all have an idea of something perfect that is more than $100) because I think that beyond that, I don’t know how much more “productive” the gift would be. thanks!

  23. Retirement q

    Hi everyone, In a few months I am finally going to be eligible to participate in my employers retirement plan, a 403b (essentially equivalent of 401k for non profits as I understand it). Employer contribution is a set percentage of salary regardless of whether I make my own contributions. Until now I have been contributing to a Roth. As I understand it there is no advantage to continuing to contribute to the Roth until I have made max annual contributions (around $19k for 2019, I think, which I will not be able to come close to) to the 403b, is that correct? Also, I am on IBR fir my student loans. IBR is calculated based on AGI. Is my AGI = my salary minus my contributions to the retirement plan? Or will my plan contributions still be counted as income for the purpose of IBR? TIA for any advice!

    • Anon

      Addressing one small piece: Unless you are getting a match from your employer based on your 403(b) contributions, Roth’s are generally more tax-advantaged than 401ks/403bs/standard IRAs. There are no minimum distributions required (comes much later in life) and all of the gain is truly untaxed (the other vehicles delay tax but it will hit eventually).

      I’d have to dig around in the tax rules to figure out whether 403b contributions are before or after AGI but I bet someone else here knows offhand.

      One more side note: You are correct that 403(b)s are the equivalent of 401(k)s but for nonprofits (education institutions use them as well). They are generally very similar. However, there are some notable differences, especially later in life (retirement age) so make sure to look for advice specific to 403(b)s when you look at the details.

      • Anon

        I’m pretty sure that 403b contributions, like contributions to a tradition (non-Roth) 401k, reduce your AGI. Since you are on IBR, that could be a significant benefit to you.

        • Anon

          Thanks–and agreed that the AGI difference could make a significant impact for OP!

    • Anon

      I think it depends on your income. If you’re a very high earner, you probably want traditional retirement contributions to reduce your tax liability. But if your salary is low enough that you’re eligible for Roth, it’s probably to your advantage to make Roth contributions to your 403(b). You won’t get a tax break now, but your money will grow tax-free and you won’t pay taxes when you withdraw it. I did the math, and I estimated that my required minimum distributions in retirement will be higher than my current salary, so it makes sense for me.

      • retirement q

        What do you mean by “make roth contributions to your 403(b)”? I have never had an employer-sponsored retirement plan before so I don;t understand how this works. I thought a 403b and a Roth were two different types of things? The Roth that I have is one that I opened a few years ago and just put money in monthly from my paycheck (paycheck after taxes) , whereas with the 403b I would have my employer take money off the top of my paycheck before taxes and put it in the 403b for me along with their contribution. Clearly I need a better education on all this, would also love recommendations for reliable info sources.

        Thank you to everyone who has replied.

        • Anon

          There are two types of retirement vehicles: a workplace sponsored account (i.e. 401k, 403b) and an individual retirement account (i.e. IRA). Under the tax code, you can make either traditional or roth contributions to either type of account (although some workplaces don’t offer roth 401k or 403b accounts). A traditional contribution is deducted from your AGI and you don’t pay taxes on it (for a workplace account, that is taken out of your paycheck pre-tax and for a IRA, it is a deduction at the end of the year on your tax forms). A roth contribution is taken after-tax, but then you don’t pay taxes on the eventual withdraws.

          Roth is not a type of account. It sounds like you have a roth IRA.

        • Anon

          Yeah, a 403(b) and 401(k) can be contributed to on either a traditional (pre-tax) or Roth (post-tax) basis, although your employer may not give you the option of Roth. I work for a university and we can choose Roth or traditional for our 403(b) contributions. The separate thing you opened is an IRA – those can also be Roth or traditional.

  24. anon

    Help me think of a small 40th birthday gift for a friend. She’s a super-busy mom and fitness instructor — one of those people who goes hard and never sits still. She’s spiritual/religious. Does not drink alcohol at all and has several food allergies/sensitivities, so I’m trying to stay away from foodie gifts. Is a thoughtful card enough? Her DH is throwing a very informal surprise party at their house tomorrow night. I don’t want to show up empty-handed, but I’m stuck for some reason.

    • Falstaff

      I think a thoughtful card is perfect. Most people don’t need/want more stuff.

    • Anon

      If you MUST get something, can you ask her/her husband of her food allergies and bring something shelf stable like an infused olive oil?

      Otherwise – universally accepted scents like vanilla are the way I’d go.

    • Skipper

      I think a card with an actual note about your friendship and your friend inside instead of a scrawled “happy birthday! xo” is the way to go here. But if you’d like an actual gift, I find something consumable (and readily regiftable) like soaps or candles to be good choices. If she has a regular salon, massage therapist, favorite restaurant, etc., a gift card is nice. An Amazon gift card or whatever seems… less nice to me. Hair ties and headbands or socks if you know her taste could be fun. And flowers. Flowers are always great.

    • anon

      I think a thoughtful card is enough. You could pick up one of those orchid plants in a pot, or bring flowers already in a vase (so no one has to cut, find vase, etc.).

  25. Anonymous

    Any new cat tips! I’m over the moon excited to be adopting my new best friend and planning to buy the necessities ASAP- is a litter mat necessary? Litter genie? Bed of course, scratching post, bowls, food. Anything else I should do to prepare? Is my pristine white couch a lost cause?

    • Anon

      Yay!! Cats are the best! I would definitely go for a litter mat; it really helps in my house to contain (some, definitely not all) of the litter that gets tracked out. I think you can get things as you go and also as you learn your new friend’s preferences. It would be a bummer to spend a lot of money on cat toys and supplies and find out your cat doesn’t like any of them. Your couch probably is a lost cause, but the feline companionship is totally worth it, IMO :)

    • Leatty

      Congrats! I’ve got two that have I’ve for 10+ years that I love. Some tips:

      (1) litter box: Definitely get a litter mat. You’ll still find litter tracked all over your house, but it shouldn’t be as bad with a mat. Dr Elsey’s Ultra cat litter is the best I’ve found. We love our litter genie.

      (2) Bed: Mine never liked using a bed. They prefer the couches, bed, baskets of clean laundry, and my lap. Be prepared for pet hair everywhere. I’ve found that if I put a blanket on top of the duvet, mine will lay on that instead of the duvet. Perhaps you could try that with your couch.

      (3) Scratching post: Mine loved a set of carpeted stairs I bought them from TJ Maxx. It was great until we moved into a house with carpeted stairs, which they then treated as their own personal scratching stairs (ugh). We now use the corrugated cardboard ones in various shapes, and they like those.

      (4) Furniture: be prepared for scratching on your furniture regardless of the number of scratching pads you buy. We put double-sided anti-scratching tape on the corners of our cough to protect it.

      (5) Toys: My cats loved the laser pointed mouse toy when they were younger. Now they are older and very lazy.

      (6) Fur: You will find fur everywhere. Highly recommend getting a furbuster to cut down on the pet hair. Also, buy plenty of pet hair sticky rollers.

      • Anonymous

        Ohhh that you (all of you) so much! This brings to mind another question- cleaning routines? I’m. Ummm. Messy. I also don’t want an apartment full of hair that stinks of cat. 1 bedroom, bedroom carpeted everything else wood. Scoop daily? Twice a day? How often do I vacuum?

        • Anon

          I’ll be honest, I only scoop about every three days. My cat does not seem to mind. I think others do. I’ve asked trusted friends about smells and they’ve told me they’re not noticeable. And actually my litter box is one that looks like a fake planter and it’s fooled people who had no idea what it actually was. I have hardwood floors with just one area rug in the living room so I vacuum that every other week or so. I do wash my sheets religiously ever week (I absolutely let my cat on the bed). A Furminator is great for brushing!

        • Leatty

          We have two cats and one large litter box, so we scoop it once a day. When we had a third cat (who expected a fastidious litter box), we sometimes had to scoop it more frequently. We change the litter and wash the litter box every 2-3 weeks. We also keep a jar of Ona Gel Pro open next to the litter box, which greatly helps mask the smell. You can’t smell the litter box unless you are right next to it.

          We have hardwood floors/tile throughout, so we vacuum at least once a week. There’s definitely pet hair on the floor/furniture in between, but our house is big enough that it doesn’t bother me. My cats also shed far less than our golden retriever did (who sadly passed away earlier this year). My housekeeper also vacuums the couches, which makes a big difference.

    • Anon

      Cat lover here! When I adopted my first, I bought litter box (added a hood once he got bigger), litter genie (I use arm and hammer clump and seal litter in black box and the deodorizer in the small orange box), litter genie refills, litter mat, scratching posts and pads, food, treats, and a few toys. I didn’t buy bowls right away because he was tiny so I used these teeny Tupperware bowls that were low to the ground and upgraded him to ceramic bowls after he got a bit bigger. Added a brush for his long fur eventually. Figured out he liked feather toys and those hurricane toys where the ball goes around. I bought catnip spray and sprayed it on things that were “his” – mainly his scratching posts and pads. That training seemed to work really well with designating what items were his to scratch and which were not. I’ve never had a problem with him (I adopted another who was a bit older and had no training and had some problems with her at first but this method has helped her a lot). Get a lint roller for your couch and make sure you have a good vacuum. Have fun! I’m so excited for you!

    • Anon

      We also use Dr. Elsey’s cat litter and love our litter genie. I’ve never had a cat who used a pet bed, and until we got our current cats, none of them were very into toys either. The cats we have now love them and routinely pull them out of the toy bin on their own and leave them in various places around the house. I’d get a couple and then see what they like before buying too much.

    • Anon

      Be prepared for a cat not to use its prescribed bed. They will sleep in lots of other places.

    • Equestrian attorney

      Congrats! I adopted my kitty as a newbie cat owner and can’t imagine my life without her.
      – Litter mat: Yes
      – Bed: meh. My cat likes her bed but only in specific locations. She also likes lots of other spaces, including my clean laundry (ugh).
      – scratching post: be prepared to try different kinds and different locations. Honestly my kitty doesn’t scratch the couch, but she does scratch the wooden chairs in the dinning room (they are IKEA so who cares, but I’d like to upgrade one day so I’m not sure what to do about that.
      – Pet hair: yes, it will be everywhere. I wear my pjs until the very last second in the morning so I’m not covered in cat hair.

    • Panda Bear

      Agree with others who suggest to try different things to see what the kitty likes. Mine has never touched his vertical scratching post, but likes his flat cardboard scratcher. Also agree that while you couch might be toast, try putting a soft blanket on the couch and you may find the cat sticks to that spot (if s/he wants to be on the couch at all). Mine always likes to be on the thing-upon-the-thing – e.g. a blanket (or clean shirt, agh!) on the bed, towel on the floor, or newspaper on the table. Enjoy! Cats are the best!

    • Anon

      -Pet carrier
      -Several scratching posts and such: you can get the traditional scratching post, the ones that hang over a door, and the ones that make a big curl on the floor
      -Toys of various types – bells, crinkly things, feathery things, catnip, aerial toys
      -If you live in a cold climate, a heated cat bed
      -Ceramic pet bowls
      -Brush
      -Claw clippers

      • NOLA

        Yes to:
        -carrier (softsided with mesh so they can see out)
        -litter mat
        -toys (but introduce slowly until you see what your new friend loves – mine prefers catnip infused yarn puffs, but will play with other things)
        -bed – maybe. Try a bed and see, but be prepared to have it snubbed. Mine slept in a teepee bed when I first -adopted her. It would calm her down and I could put my hand in it at night. Now she won’t go in it. She sleeps behind my legs at night. The only bed that both of my cats use in the winter is the Aspen self-warming bed. They both have them and love them.
        -bowls – have several so you aren’t constantly washing bowls
        -scratching post – for sure.
        I have a leather sofa but I have a soft blanket over one end and she will sleep there. I don’t know where she sleeps during the day – I think maybe in her tree.

      • Horse Crazy

        Ummmm your couch can bet totally toast with a white cat too! Ask me how I know…

    • ATL rette

      How exciting!!!! A litter mat is definitely necessary—buy the largest you can find! I’d buy a covered litter box as well.

      One of my cats refuses to eat dry food and the other refuses to eat wet food, so find out what your new bestie has been eating already and buy the same. One of mine also has very specific flavor preferences, so yours may be the same.

      I’d buy a blanket to put over your couch to at least minimize the fur…but if your cats are like mine, this becomes a place to burrow and stay cozy and fur gets on the couch anyway.

      I bought a bunch of inexpensive toys in a variety of types (crinkle balls, plastic balls, furry toys, catnip toys, ones without catnip) so I could figure out what each one liked to play with. The variety also helps keep them from getting bored.

      Definitely second the lint roller and pet vac suggestions! I brush my cats too which helps cut down on the spread of fur around my house as well (we do this outside in nice weather and they love it). We have a ZoomGroom and one of my cats is literally obsessed with it, so I recommend that!

      I’m so excited for you! Having a cat has been such a joy for me, they’re such individuals and have such distinct personalities!

    • Eertmeert

      Not your question, but with kittens it is really important to teach them that hands are not toys. All it takes is replacing your hand with a stuffed toy when they start going to town with the biting/scratching play.
      We did this with my boys, and they are so gentle as adults. They have never bit anyone and if you are petting them in away they don’t like they give a pitiful look and lick your hand to ask you to stop.
      I made this suggestion to my brother and his boyfriend when they adopted their kitten, but they didn’t implement it and their cat has a biting and scratching issue.

      Cats are the best, and this is about the only “training” we did and our boys are super sweet and hilarious. Enjoy your new family member!!

  26. Rothy's

    Today I’m wearing my new red Rothy’s that I bought with a discount from someone here – thanks, anonymous friend! If anyone else is thinking about trying them out, happy to pay it forward with a $20 off code:
    https://share.rothys.com/x/REMDVU

    • Anonymous

      I’ve been considering the leopard print flats for a few weeks and was thinking about asking for a code – thanks!

  28. Inspired by Hermione

    How do you reduce seasonal allergies in addition to meds? I’m beyond miserable and it’s hard to breathe in the mornings (plus I look pretty rough). I have a call in to my doctor to see if he has any ideas, but I’m on more or less every med possible except getting allergy shots. So, hoping for any ideas to help my (stupid, overdramatic) body out.
    For reference, I take Zyrtec (which is the only OTC my body can tolerate- even taken at night, Allegra and Claritin both make me drowsy the entire day after to the point I can’t function), Singulair, Flonase 2x a day, a steroid inhaler (QVar) and sinus rinses with steroids added. I also do my normal nebulizers 2x a day- albuterol and hypertonic saline. My doctor knows about all of this, of course.
    I already have an air purifier in my bedroom, wash my face morning and night and rinse it with water in the early afternoon. I’m going to start showering every night instead of in the mornings. I assume more water would help, so I’m trying to drink a bunch more. Any other ideas would be welcome.

    • EM84

      Washing hair every day – lots of pollen gets stuck in your hair, which, if you do not wash, you are breathing throughout the night.
      Vacuum everyday – I bought a robo vacuum cleaner to take care of this. Wipe down surfaces with a damp cloth, clean windows and blinds and curtains as often as possible.
      Change your clothes you wore outside when you get home (pollen trapped on your clothes).
      Change air filters regularly.
      I like to air my beddings (pillows and cover) outside every Saturday (especially after rain) and wash the bed linens every week (during peak season, I wash the pillow cases 2x week).

    • Anon

      Are you sure you don’t have nonallergic rhinitis, instead of or in addition to allergies? That might be part your problem, since allergy meds won’t really treat it and it might be triggered by other irritants besides pollen. Unfortunately, it’s not all that easy to treat, but I’d also try to avoid anything else that could possibly be irritating you- scents from cosmetics or cleaning products, dust, air pollution, temperature changes, etc.

    • anon

      I’ll echo everything EM84 said; it’s all become lifelong ingrained habit for me. (except the vacuuming-too lazy, but it would help).
      I hate to bring up the spectre of “clean eating”, but in the short term, until this histamine flare up is causing you less suffering, you might consider cutting out the foods you know don’t make you feel good. If I might regret it a little on a normal morning, I’ll probably really regret it on an allergy season morning.

    • theguvnah

      cut out dairy. I’m dead serious; it was a game-changer for my allergies and chronic inner ear congestion.

    • Anon

      My preferred antihistamine is desloratidine, which I believe is called Clarinex in the US? This one does not make me drowsy. A lot of people find it dries them out too much, though (eyes, throat etc), so it might not be for you.

      I would do a thorough clean of your bedroom (including washing and drying duvets and pillows), stop any sort of non-filtered AC (if used), stop opening your windows (unless it’s raining), and clean all surfaces (including curtains). And then do not enter your bedroom with any allergens. Shower /rinse yourself and hair before bed. Clean pyjamas, clean pillowcases etc. Keep your bedroom “uncontaminated”.

      Make sure you tell your GP how miserable you actually are to make sure you are not under-medicated, though. I had a wake-up call years back when mine told me “we are using medication to ensure you are symptom free” instead of what I had thought, which was “I am using medication to get through the day, but I will still suffer and be miserable and ill”. (Still miserable, but less so.)

      Some daily things that might help: wear a hat or scarf over your hair when outside. Use gentle salt water ampoulles/rinses and sprays to rinse your sinuses, in addition to any steroid sprays. Use glasses/sunglasses to avoid pollen in your eyes. I prefer to do any nasal sprays after showering (warm steam) and blowing my nose properly in the morning.

  29. Minnie Pearl

    Advice on an internal interview process requested, hopefully I’m not too late on this post.

    My boss is about to change roles, which opens up an opportunity for me to be promoted. I have a peer who is also very keen on the role, and I am most likely to get it for a number of reasons, but I’m not a shoo-in, so they are going to an interview process. The decision will be made by the person above, who I haven’t had significant exposure to, and I have been told by old boss that I meet all the technical capabilities, so what I need to demonstrate is leadership and vision for the team (the role is leading my current function of ~25 people, and I currently manage a team within that function).

    I was thinking of proposing that instead of the normal interview, I get on the front foot, meet with the decision maker and essentially present this to them / speak to them about it. I have prepared a brief slide deck outlining my vision, what I would prioritise and do to be successful, team changes that need to be put in place etc, and I can speak to my leadership style, capabilities etc with specific examples. I would also bring my resume listing my key achievements etc.

    I think this would be more effective than an interview and demonstrate some of the qualities I’m trying to draw out, but I am concerned that it may come off incorrectly and work against me. It’s a large corporation with a high-performance culture. I am going to run this by my old boss as he knows the decision maker much better than me, but any views from the hive?

    • Anonymous

      They want an interview, do the interview. When/if they ask about our vision, style etc., then answer accordingly. If they don’t answer, go ahead and give an elevator pitch of your proposal. No slide presentation, a single page hand out–clear, bold graphics (don’t forget to add your name so they know who it’s from).

      • Anonymous

        I don’t know that they want an interview. There’s no HR requirement for this sort of situation in my org. I’ve been told I might just be tapped on the shoulder and asked to grab a coffee or they might not do anything at all and decide without any process. I also know this sort of thing has been done before by others in my broader team, but more senior to me. But you’re right, what you say is what i am questioning, I don’t want to come off as disrespecting the process. I definitely wouldn’t do it if it wasn’t someone I already work closely with.

      • Anonymous

        OP here, I slept on it and this is a terrible idea!! You’re completely correct.

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