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Updated: May 1, 2019 86 Comments · by

Suit of the Week: Brooks Brothers

Suit of the Week

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For busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional.

With this suit, which is from the Red Fleece line at Brooks Brothers, the dress caught my eye first. I love the pieced-together, stripey look, where the stripes are going in different directions. Then I realized there's a lovely suit jacket and skirt and pants, too. I think this is a great example of a really fun dress, while the rest of the suit is just about as conservative as it gets. I love that the pant is wide-leg, as well, as opposed to all the ankle pants we're seeing. The dress is $158, the pants are $128, the jacket is $198, and the skirt is $98. Sizes are 0–14.

Try this pinstripe dress at Loft for a plus-size option.

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Comments

  1. Anonymous

    I like the look of fancy t-shirts under a suit jacket. For example, the ones from Ted Baker. However, I’m not wild about most of the Ted Baker designs. Any suggestions for other brands that do this kind of thing? I also would prefer a slightly lower neck-line than the Ted Baker tees so it doesn’t look too high in comparison to the top of a suit jacket. Any thoughts?

    • Anon

      Maybe Eileen Fisher? They make some not-cheap t shirts in beautiful fabrics.

  2. Mortgage and W-2

    So I am lacking one of my W-2s due to a series of unfortunate events – I just don’t have it (I know I should). Two questions: How can I get a copy of it? And how can I get my preferred lender to consider my loan application without it?

    Here is what I have done so far to get the W-2. I contacted my former employer (a big law firm), and they say they don’t have it because they switched payroll systems. They have supposedly been trying to get it from the old payroll company, but that has been going on for over a month (yes, I know they are supposed to keep it for four years ). I have tried to contact the payroll company myself (they said I need to go through my former employer). I did my taxes myself and had the commonly used online tax system import my W-2 information, so even if I request a copy of my tax return from the IRS, it won’t be attached. All I can get from the IRS is a “transcript” of my W-2; same from the social security administration. I tried to look up my former firm in the online tax form service from Equifax, and they don’t participate in that program.

    For what it’s worth, I am working with two different lenders. The loan officer for Bank A says that a W-2 is absolutely required and nothing can serve as a substitute, although the last time I spoke with him, he seemed to be softening a bit. The loan officer for Bank B says Bank B will accept various replacements for a W-2, including transcript of my W-2 from the IRS (which I have). I unfortunately prefer to go with Bank A, as the estimated rates are the same and my husband and I have all of our other accounts (checking, savings, investments, retirement) with Bank A. If it matters, we have >400k in assets with Bank A and an HHI of about 350k. Would it matter if I talked to a different loan officer, or got our financial advisor involved? Or should I just give up and go with a lender that is more flexible?

    • Hi Hi Hi

      I would, as a protective matter, not have my mortgage with the same place I have my cash, since there is probably a provision that allows them to set-off against your cash on hand, even if the mortgage is supposed to be non-recourse to you / just your real property securing it.

    • Anon

      Bank A has $400k of your money and doesn’t trust an IRS transcipt? Go to the people that actually act like you matter and want your business. Setting up autopay is easy and a one-time thing, and it’s not like Bank A is actually making your life easier right now.

      Signed, I use the same big bank for almost everything, but not my mortgage, because mortgage bank agent “Joe” was a (sexist) idiot.

    • Flats Only

      If by “financial advisor” you mean a wealth management type who works for Bank A, then yes, call them.

    • Anon.

      I’d just go ahead and give Bank A loan officer the ultimatum. Either he can write the loan without the W-2, or you can take the loan to Bank B. I made a very similar statement (not about a W-2, but similar documentation issues) to our loan officer and under threat of the losing the busines, he magically didn’t need that documentation any longer. And in that case, I was mostly bluffing. To me the only bonus of having your mortgage the same place as the rest of your accounts is that they should be MORE flexible with you to get things done, not less.

    • Anon

      A transcript of your W-2 is the official IRS version of your W-2. If Bank A won’t take a transcript, they don’t know what they’re doing or won’t escalate appropriately, either of which would bother me as a consumer. I would only go with A in this situation if the rate is substantially better.

    • Mortgage and W-2

      Thanks for these replies. I had the same understanding of the transcript as Anon at 4:04 – Bank B is who suggested I just pull that down from the IRS website. I had an additional conversation with the Bank A loan officer on why they cannot accept the transcript. He said they could not accept the transcript from a client because the underwriters are the ones who order the transcript and then compare the W-2 to the transcript to make sure it matches. This makes no sense, right? Unless they are using the W-2 for some ill-conceived identity verification and/or to ensure I am not someone who fabricates W-2s?! It surely cannot be income verification?

      Bank B is looking more and more appealing, although the loan officer I have been dealing with there is pretty unprofessional – not sure it matters if they will actually give me the loan. I may ask my financial advisor (yes a wealth mgmt type that works for Bank A) to intervene. He is the one who referred me to this specific loan officer so he knows him. What a headache.

      • anon

        That’s a lame excuse. If they want to make sure you’re not fabricating income they can compare the transcript you give them to the one they pull. I would try to escalate or pull in your adviser.

      • nutella

        Absolutely ask your financial advisor what the deal is with Bank A. From their perspective the stickier of a client you are (i.e., more and more ‘accounts’ with them) the better, and you already pay him fees, so get him involved ASAP. I would stick with Bank A personally as if you have other issues in the future, you are likelier to get better customer service because there is an actual person you can deal talk to. The loan process is enough as a headache and can feel like you are dealing with incompetence, yelling into a void with no response, extreme delays, or change of personnel. If you have a financial advisor who wants to make you happy as a client, they will take on a lot of that daily emailing to move the loan underwriting along, etc. We have our mortgage at the same bank as our other accounts and having our advisor involved was extremely helpful in the beginning stages and then again when we re-cast our mortgage. Reach out to yours today and ask for help.

    • Anonon

      Mortgages can and regularly are sold to other banks or lenders. Do you know for certain if Bank A will keep the mortgage? Otherwise, I don’t see the perk of going with them just because the rest of your assets are there.

  3. Converse

    Do Converse All-Stars have good support? Looking for some new walking shoes and thinking about those, but I used to have a pair of Onitsuka Tigers which were super cute, but had no support and hurt after walking around for too long.

  4. Anonymous

    Share your favorite party games/activities? I recently moved to a new city and have met a lot of wonderful people (late 20s/early 30s). Most have met or know of one another but I’ve never had 15-20 together before. I’m planning to throw an afternoon party on a weekend in the summer. I have a large indoor space that walks out onto a rooftop patio with a ton of seating, so I’m thinking of doing a casual afternoon (heavy appetizers that can also be lunch, but mostly just a chill afternoon). My last apartment was tiny and I never hosted big groups. I’d like to have some (optional) party games to help break the ice a bit for people who haven’t met yet. I’d like to have a couple indoor and outdoor games.

    • Anonymous

      None. I hate party games. Give me delicious cocktails and watermelon slices and I’ll have a good time!

    • Anonymous

      I frequently entertain like this – gathering people from different parts of my life – neighbors, church, work – and everyone always has a great time, no ice breakers needed. There is not a party game in the world that’s not going to feel forced and make people groan.

      I’ll say that entertaining in the afternoon is pretty difficult. People are out running errands and doing their thing, and stopping in the middle of that to go hangout on a rooftop might be a hard sell. I’ve had good luck with chill Sunday evening gatherings – does the rooftop have a grill? Hamburgers, hot dogs, chips, salad, brownies – done. (Or fancier, if budget allows.) Potluck, if that’s your group’s style.

      • Curly

        Agree to all of this, and I also do a lot of entertaining with people from different parts of my life. I will sometimes set out something like Cards Against Humanity in a visible spot, and people who like games will do that. I also usually put out baggo (or cornhole, depending on your region) outside in case people want to play. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t.

        One big thing I do try to do is have a few introductions thought out so that I can introduce people across groups to get the mingling going. As the host, it’s very easy to say, “Oh! Sally! I want you to meet Amy– Amy just got back from Yellowstone National Park, and I know Sally’s going there in a few weeks!” Let them talk for 5 seconds to make sure they’re chatting, and then excuse yourself to check on the ice or whatever.

    • Horse Crazy

      Eh. If you really feel like you need a game, maybe something outside like cornhole. But I agree with the comment above – as long as you have food and drinks, people will mingle. And if someone isn’t mingling, I don’t think optional games will fix that.

      • Mpls

        +1 – have some activities to do, but don’t feel the need to organize ice-breakers.

      • Anonymous

        Ladder ball is another good one! Takes up less storage space than cornhole too.

      • Ellen

        You can play TWISTER outside! It’s fun and a good way to meet people and get into weird positions. Once you are dating someone, you can have a more intimate type of 2 person TWISTER! YAY!!!

    • Equestrian attorney

      As an introvert, party games with strangers feel very overwhelming to me. I feel on the spot and cornered into an activity I’m not comfortable doing. I would much rather the host take three seconds to introduce me to someone else and then I can small talk like the best of them.

      • Anon

        +1, if I’m dragging my introvert self out and there are party games, I’d leave

    • Good luck

      The one where you put the phone on your forehead and it shows a word and the people looking at you have to prompt you to guess what it is. I know it’s phone based, but fun.
      If you like board games, we’ve liked Ticket to Ride or similar by the same company.

    • LAnon

      Rather than games, maybe you can think about ways to make it easier to start conversations. For example, asking everyone to wear a nametag that has their answer to some innocuous question, like “Favorite vacation spot” or “If you could have any superpower, what would you want?” Just something that will give everyone an opening to talk to strangers.

      • Anon

        Please don’t make people where name tags or answer these questions. I would turn around and leave because of that.

        If you want to make it easier for people to start conversations, introduce people who don’t know each other and mention something they have in common.

      • DLC

        I like this idea. Though I dislike wearing name tags. Maybe write questions on drink cups or have those conversation cards lying around. I also have been at a party where there were Trivial Pursuit cards lying around- that was nice because it was engaging to read and answer trivia, but not neccessarily too personal.

    • Rainbow Hair

      I’m assuming your friends are like mine — willing to be silly, and eager to have a good time.

      My favorite party game is DIY Telestrations. It’s like “Telephone” but with pictures. Everyone starts with a clue. They fold the paper (I make tiny flipbooks) so the clue is hidden, and do their best to draw it. Sixty seconds or so to draw. Then they pass to the right, and that person guesses what the drawing was. Pass to the right with only the guess visible, and now that person has to draw the guess. Etc. etc. When you get finished it’s hilarious to open it up and see how things have devolved.

      If you don’t want to force everyone to do something at the same time, I find that crafts are a great way to get (silly, game) people to mingle. Decorate your own koozie, make pins out of collage materials, have a table with coloring pages and fun markers, turn t@mpons into ghosts…

  5. Anon

    My friend is getting married, and,I’m helping her plan a dinner party for her bridesmaids (I’m the maid of honor). I’m looking for suggestions for the menu – we want it to be somewhat fancy, but not crazy expensive. The two of us are fairly good cooks. There will be 7 of us, and nobody has dietary restrictions, although one is pregnant. Thank you in advance!

    • Anonymous

      I would either do a nice tenderloin roast or Cornish game hens? Other things I’ve done for “fancy” parties are individual ramekins for dessert (like homemade tiramisu (homemade ladyfingers even!)) and homemade breads to start the meal, with compound butters. I think it’s all about making the main course seem luxe and indulgent, so individual beef Wellington or Cornish hens, or duck confit for each person seem to fit the bill to me

    • Vicky Austin

      This type of question is my jam, but it depends on the vibe you’re going for. Seafood and risotto? Steak and potatoes? Fancypants pasta and garlic bread? Grazing on delicious indulgent snacks you’d never make for any other occasion?

      (FWIW, I’ve often thought of a special occasion like this to be the perfect occasion to try out one of those unrealistic but delicious-looking Buzzfeed Tasty recipes.)

      • pugsnbourbon

        I was thinking paella – good for a group, makes a splashy presentation, has a nice communal feel for it and is deceptively easy. Crusty bread and dipping oil to start or tapas-type appetizers, like jamon serrano or Spanish anchovys and sardines. Dry white wine or even Cava. Maybe olive oil cake for dessert?
        Dang now I want to throw a dinner party.

    • AnonInfinity

      Ina Garten’s Engagement Chicken!!!! That’s one of my favorite things to make–it looks impressive but is very easy. And it tastes GREAT.

      For sides, I usually do a simple salad dressed with olive oil, lemon, garlic, salt, and pepper, as well as whatever roasted vegetable looks good that week. Some kind of simple rice or quinoa would be great on the side as well. Throw out a cheese board for an app, and either bake a cake (my favorite is butter bourbon cake from Brown Eyed Baker) or a pie or pick up some dessert somewhere, and you’ve got a delicious meal.

      • AnonInfinity

        Another idea is that one of my friends will roll a pork tenderloin in sugar and chili powder, wrap it in foil, then put it on a medium grill until it’s cooked. That is always so yummy.

    • Good luck

      My mom used to make grilled chicken breasts for me and my girlfriends in high school, with like some pasta and green vegetable on the side.
      Not fancy but easy and yummy for a crowd. Just an idea.
      I agree that more information here would be helpful….

    • S

      I would probably do a roast of some kind, plus a vegetable risotto. Both require time, but are also fairly easy prep, fairly forgiving, not too expensive, and filling. The key to the risotto is not to skimp on the quality or quantity of parmesan cheese. The more aged and complex, the better.

    • Skipper

      I think a lot of courses are an easy way to make simpler food feel both fancy and festive. I like to serve an appetizer and cocktail course in my living room while people are arriving. Then I serve a light soup, the entree, a salad, maybe a cheese course, and finally a dessert. I think if you stick somewhat old fashioned foods in this context you also get kind of that “grown-upness” that can make a meal feel special. A

      You don’t say when this is, but I’m going to assume it’s soon-ish and therefore in the spring. I’d start with cheese straws, deviled eggs, and cucumber mint crostini made with a nice white wine vinegar and a choice of a champagne cocktail or lemon soda.

      Then I’d do a blended soup with arugula, roasted garlic, and a rich chicken broth. For an entree, maybe salmon and herbed, roasted potatoes? Roasted chicken and risotto? Something like that. Then a really great salad with frisee and peas and lemon and good cheese or Epicurious’s braised leek, lettuce, and pea salad. Because I’m basic, I would serve all this with a cheapass rose, but I’m sure you’d make smarter wine choices.

      Finally, I love strawberry shortcake this time of year, especially when it’s served with more champagne and followed by coffee with a big dollop of chocolate liqueur. A chocolate dessert with a bourbon cocktail to follow is also a lot of fun.

      • Vicky Austin

        I take back my answer. Skipper, if you’re ever throwing a dinner party, can I come?

    • Suburban

      Roasted pork tenderloin with blueberry-thyme sauce (frozen blueberries cooked down with a touch of honey +salt pepper and thyme) over a cauliflower purée (steamed florets +good butter + + immersion blender +s+p) with a side of roasted asparagus (or green beans or whatever looks fresh-roast on a sheet pan with the pork). Cheese plate to start (consider one big gooey soft cheese rather than three) Or grilled pita bread with romesco dip. Outsource dessert to the extent possible. Or make brownies (boxed is fine) and top with store vanilla ice cream.)

      Make a fun mocktail for the pregnant friend and serve a sparkling wine to toast when they arrive.

  6. anon

    Any advice/commiseration for getting over a relationship where you were blindsided by the break up? I know it will take time…I just hate waiting.

    • Anon

      This was me a little over a year ago. It really is just waiting it out. I did go to therapy for a bit after it had been a year and I still felt I was held up over it, but that revealed it being connected to some other relationship issues I had with my parents. I will say, I did partake in some probably a bit more unseemly behavior than I should have and had some friends that were telling me to slow down, but I didn’t really listen. Thankfully, nothing harmful come from it, but it’s not some of my proudest moments.

      Take the time to cry and be in the moment and your feelings and now that this internet stranger is rooting for you.

    • Anonymous

      Definitely take time to cry and wallow and whatever you need for a couple days. If that’s cookies and milk and Bridget Jones, so be it. I actually used a vacation day for a really bad breakup (we had been talking marriage, so a personal day seemed totally reasonable for grieving in my book) and just slept/cried. It just…yeah, takes time. I’m sorry. Hugs. In the words of SA, the only way out is through. But you’ll be over the really bad physical pain here sooner than you realize.

    • Anon

      Hug?

      Normal, healthy, caring people don’t blindside someone with a breakup. I’ve had that done to me, several times, and it was always a punch to the gut. But as time went on and I got older, I saw that how people treat others in a breakup gives you a remarkable window into their character.

  7. Anon

    I just bumped my funny bone, hard, and it is the least funny thing ever. But thanks, English language.

  8. anon

    I have a work problem that isn’t time management, exactly — it’s more like energy management. Most weeks, I have enough time to complete my work. The problem is some of the assignments are complex enough that I’m mentally drained afterward and find it hard to tackle another task, which is likely equally complex. Or I’ll do easier stuff instead of doing the big things that are more important. (cough, cough, department budget that is due tomorrow.) Short breaks here and there don’t do much for me. I’m getting my work done, but I feel constantly stressed by not knowing whether I’ll have the mental energy to handle everything required. There are times when I’m a productivity powerhouse, but they’re usually followed by a week during which I do the bare minimum and not much more. Normal, or not? How do I get to a place where my energy is more evenly distributed? I think some of this is anxiety-driven but I don’t know how to make it stop!

    • Anon

      Following with interest, I’m in the same boat. Post in the morning for more replies?

    • LAnon

      I think you’re right that some of this is anxiety driven, so I’m happy to share that uneven distribution of energy/effort is completely normal and human! You are not a robot or a machine, and it’s very natural to have variance in your output. You might consider seeing a therapist if you think it’s having a significant impact on your life. Otherwise, having a mantra you can mentally repeat to avoid getting too anxious about it can be helpful. Like, you think “Oh, no, I’ll be drained from this tomorrow!” and then you remind yourself, “I am not a robot. Things eventually get done and life goes on.” and push the thought out of your head.

      • Anonymous

        The mental exhaustion of worrying about tasks is real and really draining. Once I got that under control (in the, “things will go on, it’s not the end of the world if this isn’t perfect/done right/done right this second” way), I found I had more energy to plug along.

        • Anonymous

          Yes. I try to tell my teenage daughter this–rather than worrying about doing the thing, just focus that energy on getting it done. Sometimes the hardest part is just getting started, so accept it may not be perfect but you can fix it later (or just turn in the best you could do. The world won’t end.)

    • Equestrian attorney

      This sounds pretty normal to me, but I also struggle with anxiety. I can force myself to power through on adrenaline if I have a serious deadline; if not, my job is flexible enough that I alternate higher energy tasks and lower energy tasks.

    • Anonymous

      This also sounds normal to me. Things that help me include relaxing for an hour or so before going to bed early, early-morning HIIT workouts, snacking throughout the day to maintain even blood sugar levels, a Headspace guided meditation in the parking lot before going in to the office, a lunchtime walk, and the Pomodoro method.

    • Inspired by Hermione

      For the big things, I try to just do the thing as soon as I can. I tend to overthink and plan and timeline and schedule and divide and make to do lists about big things and never get anything done. I get overwhelmed and stressed about the breadth of the thing and feel like if I can just divide the work better/make a better schedule/figure out the perfect way to do it, it will be easy. That’s not the case, and so when I realize that I try to commit to just do something to really start. Write the first section of a brief, or run the report, or watch the first hour of he CLE (today’s “Just Do It” goal….). Once I start, I often can balance what needs to be done to continue/finish it with smaller tasks. I also block smaller tasks and knock them all out just before a big break. So, ideally a day with lots to do and a mix of deep and shallow work would look like
      9:30-11:30: Deep work/flow/intense effort
      11:30-12:15: Shallow work/low energy work. Emails, small stuff.
      12:15-1:15: Lunch, with a serious mental break that doesn’t require any expenditure of mental energy. Read a beach read or take a walk. I’m an introvert and after working hard all morning, I’m mentally tired enough I don’t like to get lunch on days with other people when I have lots of big stuff to do. Too much work.
      1:30-4:30: Deep work, Pomodoro method if I can’t stay focused. Usually a brain break around 3-3:30.
      4:30-5:30: Shallow work and to do lists for the next day.

    • anon

      Tony Schwartz’s “Manage Your Energy, Not Your Time” materials were REALLY helpful for me in dealing with this exact issue. YMMV with Cal Newport, too.

  9. Clara

    There are all types of dress codes – I recently went to an office with a casual dresscode where several members of HR were wearing Uggs and leggings. Even there though you could see the difference in dress code by department that’s talked about on this site a lot.

    • Inspired by Hermione

      I see you visited my office. Welcome. Some of our front desk staff wear crop tops.

  10. Anon for This

    I’m in a situation that’s new to me and I’m wondering if anyone else from the hive has dealt with this.

    Someone from my company was fired last week and promptly wrote a blistering Twitter rant about the company and specific people within it. (He refused to sign a severance agreement with non-disparagement clause.) He also posted the same thing on Facebook and LinkedIn. He references specific people (though does not name them) as being particularly awful. One of the people he refers to is me, although I was spared the worst of the criticism in the rant. What he posted is one-half true but common gripes for our industry – things like long hours, poor work/life balance, lots of office politics and one-half personal attacks.

    Some people have put two and two together on the post and the people referenced in it, and I’m getting random internet hate mail – mostly on social media but some to my actual email. Just random, profanity-filled messages about what a terrible person I am. I’m trying my best to ignore all of this – staying off social media etc – but things keep popping up. I don’t think there’s anything to do but keep my head down until the internet mob moves on but it is so crappy.

    Has anyone been through something similar?

    • Anon

      For the near future, make your social media private. This will make it harder for people to contact you and harder to figure out who he is talking about. Lock them down so that they cannot be seen, or if they can be seen, so that you can only get mail or messages from connections.

      Then you should talk to your higher-ups. Your company should know this is happening – not just that some jerk is writing bad things about them, but it is causing one of their current employees to be harassed – and see if they have any suggestions for fixing it. If the emails are coming to your work email, IT can put a block on them or a spam filter requiring you to approve messages before seeing them. Your company can also take a public position, although that can create other problems.

      • Anon for This

        Thank you, this is really helpful. My higher-ups are aware of this but it feels like there’s not much we can do… as you mentioned, they feel like taking a public position or attempting to refute it will just pour more fuel on the fire. Going private is a great suggestion and I’ll also see if IT can put heavier filters on my email. Or if they can’t, I could probably create an Outlook rule to push a lot of this to a separate folder. Thanks for helping me think pro-actively – I have mostly just been too stunned by the level of vitriol from angry strangers to think of what to do.

    • Inspired by Hermione

      I am so sorry. No real advice except to just avoid it and to make a huge effort to take care of yourself the best ways you can. Whatever helps, make time to do it.

      Also, f that guy.

      • Anon for This

        Thank you – I think this will be a good weekend to unplug entirely and have a tech-free couple of days.

    • The Original ...

      I’d let the company know so that there can be an awareness in case this comes through work email/phone and then I’d start a points system with each call/email as one point or something specifically heinous as two points, then I’d set up rewards for myself based on points, the way kids may for doing chores to earn privileges or prizes. I’m so sorry you’re going through it. <3

    • JB

      Haven’t had anything similar happen, but sending my sympathies to you. When other nutty behavior happens, I try to remind myself that this is not actually a reflection on me. These people don’t know you. And what kind of person attacks a random internet stranger.

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