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Thursday’s Workwear Report: Stripe Bouclé Knit Crop Jacket

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A woman wearing a black top with black-and-white knit jacket and black leather pants

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

Oooh, this cropped blazer looks like a perfect topper for the fall-to-winter transition. A black-and-white tweed goes with just about anything, but the New Yorker in me is always going to want to layer it over an all-black outfit.

I would pair this with some high-waisted trousers and a black blouse, but if you’re open to color, it would also look fabulous over a jewel-toned sheath dress for a more formal look.

The blazer is $52, marked down from $139, at Nordstrom and comes in sizes 0-12.

As this jacket is selling out quickly, another option is this Tahari ASL blazer for $159 at Nordstrom, available in sizes 2-18.

Sales of note for 3/15/25:

  • Nordstrom – Spring sale, up to 50% off
  • Ann Taylor – 40% off everything + free shipping
  • Banana Republic Factory – 40% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Eloquii – 50% off select styles + extra 50% off sale
  • J.Crew – Extra 30% off women's styles + spring break styles on sale
  • J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything + extra 20% off 3 styles + 50% off clearance
  • M.M.LaFleur – Friends and family sale, 20% off with code; use code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 40% off 1 item + 30% off everything else (includes markdowns, already 25% off)

227 Comments

    1. Hah! I am so glad I’m not the only one having major 80s flashbacks these days. I have a 1980s sweater from my dad and Boden is selling nearly the same sweater this season.

    3. I have a couple of these collarless black tweedy type jackets and there’s a reason they’ve stuck around — they are work horses!

  2. I’m good friends with another woman at my firm; we’re both single, late 20s/early 30s, so we go out often together. We were at a firm thing the other night and she was flirting pretty heavily with one of the partners.

    Should I try to tell her why this is a horrible idea? What would you say? Will this affect my reputation with the partners, and should I distance myself?

    (She’s a few years older than me and has also joked she’s going off BCP because if she gets pregnant it’s cheaper than IVF.)

    1. That sounds like way more drama than I would want associated with my professional reputation.

    2. I wouldn’t touch this with a 10 foot pole. She knows the risks, the partner knows the risks. They’re adults.

      1. 100%. Also the amount of partner/staff pairings I saw definitely grossed me out due to the power dynamics but these were all adults in their late 20s/30s/40s so at least all old enough to understand what they were getting into. It may have changed since the early aughts but at that time it was a feature not a bug for older male partners to date younger female staffers.

    3. Is the partner married? Does she work for the partner? If not, mind your business. People meet at work. If I were you, I would be honest about my opinion if it comes up. (Geesh, this may not end well…you need to think about that possibility.) If the partner is married, I would distance myself from her because it’s bad form. Married people are off limits.

    5. This seems like so not a problem unless one or both are married. And even then it is a “none of your business” thing while you slowly ghost. 100% agree that people meet at work all the time. And it’s not like she is an intern making googly eyes at a 50 year old!

        1. You wouldn’t ghost them if one or both were married? That is what I meant by the comment.

          2. OTOH, I do slow my roll for people who just seem to generate drama. This seems ripe for that.

          4. I’m with you anon 10:20. I find it wild that people are okay with their friends getting involved with adulterers. Are they also cool with theft and a$$ault? Kinda explains how Kavanagh still has friends I guess. So much ick.

          5. Huh? I don’t think adultery is the same as assault. I guess for theft it would depend. I divorced because my ex husband cheated on me and married his AP, too.

            I would not be happy about my friend cheating on her significant other, but I also don’t think it’s the same as what Kavanaugh did, like, at all.

    6. Agreed that it depends if they’re married. And flirting is not a crime per se, although I agree it’s a little murky at work. But having worked in several law firms, she is neither the first nor the last. Sometimes it works well, sometimes it really doesn’t.

      1. Barack and Michelle met at their law firm. I met my husband at my firm. There’s no issue here for the OP.

          1. she was his summer associate advisor at Sidley! he was junior to her but had worked so I believe was a little older.
            [I’ve got no problem with this, and i think it’s a cute story that may have gotten side eye at the time]

      2. Why does it depend if they’re married? This would affect my feelings about the situation, but the OP asked if she should talk to her friend. I don’t think she should address it with friend either way. The friend is a grown up and can make her own choices, no matter how ill advised.

    8. Say nothing. She’s not the first or last. Sometimes it ends well and sometimes it doesn’t but she’s old enough to know that.

    9. I gotta say that the BCP jokes would make me REALLY uncomfortable. That is … really not OK.

      1. Yeah I’m surprised everyone is acting like this is a normal workplace romance. Yes, people meet at work and it’s generally not a big deal if they’re both single. But this woman sounds absolutely unhinged.

        1. DH’s single cousin got pregnant a few years back, and I don’t think anyone except her parents believe the pregnancy was the result of a whoopsie BCP failure. She was way too cavalier about it all and had been open about intending to have a kid whether she was single or married. Surprise, surprise, the father has nothing to do with the kid and the cousin had to get a DNA test to collect child support. The kid is loved and spoiled by all, grandparents especially, but let’s just say some of the cousin’s parenting choices indicate that she didn’t really think through the practical realities of being a single parent.

          1. My good friend is on the guy end of this. He was casually seeing a woman from a dating app who swore up and down that she was on BC. Stupidly he didn’t use condoms and she got pregnant. He went through her phone (not great) and learned from her texts with her BFF and she had planned this (also not great). He never wanted kids but is a good dad to his son, whom he sees regularly. But she picked up and moved to be closer to her family and he had to follow, or essentially give up his kid. They are not together, he hates where he lives now and has limited job options there, and hates his job. He got a vasectomy but is having trouble dating in part because of trust issues. I feel terrible for him. The kid is adorable though.

          3. Right. If she’s already in a serious relationship and they are both knowingly TTW (trying to whatever), that’s one thing. This is another entirely.

          4. Why does contraception fall on the woman? Men having casual s3x should still use condoms if for no other reason that STI prevention. If a man doesn’t know a woman well enough to trust she’s on BC, he also has an option to protect himself.

          5. 10:57: Your friend isn’t a victim in this. He had just as much responsibility for birth control with someone casual. And he had every right to address custody. The flipside: That child is growing up closer to her family so she has support. It’s better for that child to have a wider community available. That should be a good thing.

            Your friend is an adult presumably. I suspect his trust issues were there long before, as he was going through her phone. You only get to blame others for your lack of happiness for so long.

          6. 12:01, contraception absolutely shouldn’t be up to only the woman, but I still find it VERY distasteful to hatch a plan to get pregnant without the other person knowing. Should the guy glove up? Absolutely. But if there is some level of trust between both parties, it is pretty awful to unilaterally decide to stop BC and roll with whatever happens, happens.

          7. It really sounds like he still needs to own his role in this if he’s still having trust issues and people are feeling terrible for him.

          8. I know a woman who was on the Pill, thought that she was exclusive with her long-distance boyfriend, didn’t use barrier protection, and was horrified to find out that he was sleeping around when she wasn’t in town.

            It’s not okay when people lie to your face.

          9. Not OK to knowingly deceive someone. But also need to take accountability for your role. Same with the job situation and life partner situation. At a certain point in life, especially in this connected world, it’s on you to decide what you’re going to do to make yourself as happy as you can be and own that.

        2. I feel like flirting aggressively and openly at a work event also isn’t the typical pattern for “this could end well.”

      2. I’m honestly more offended by a woman joking about “accidentally” getting pregnant than flirting with a coworker/superior.

        2. I think women who joke about this kind of thing are usually dead serious and pretending it’s a “joke” because that’s more socially acceptable.

          1. It’s not something I ever joked about, but the list of things ‘you should never joke about’ varies a lot from person to person. This doesn’t strike me as something totally out of line. A lot depends on delivery and frequency, I guess.

        3. Dark humor is making red-stapler jokes about Hurrican Milton when you live in the cone.
          This lady is just projecting and ia gross.

        4. This is the place to come for pearl clutching. My guess is the OP’s friend smiled and chatted with the guy.

        5. Haha, that was my thought, too. Gallows humor is real and it’s ok to make jokes about things that are scary.

    10. I would not be associated with her. This is undoubtedly not the only area in which she displays poor judgment.

    11. The fact that some people (myself included) meet and marry at work does not make OP’s concerns invalid. Even if there were not the power differential here (ick on the partner who should know better) the very last thing you want to be known for at work is how well you flirt. Worse for women than men, but not great for men either.

      1. Ok, but OP is not doing any of the flirting. Nobody is saying this sounds like a great idea. OP shouldn’t be concerned because it’s not her concern.

      2. Right, but people get to choose to make their own questionable decisions. So OP can think it’s a bad idea. Depending on the circumstances, most of us can agree it’s a bad idea. But the OP still shouldn’t say anything to the friend about it.

    12. Not your circus, not your monkeys. Just don’t be part of the flirty conversations.

  3. Any Tucson suggestions for next week? I’m there for a conference, staying on the western outskirts of town. I have a car I’m sharing with colleagues, so some mobility. It looks insanely hot from my perspective (we had frost last night, haha), but hoping generally to visit the National Park. Anything else that can’t be missed?

    1. I grew up there and honestly, not really? Saying this in part because your location and feeling about the weather makes it a little more tricky. Hiking, biking and Mexican food are the main attractions. Saguaro National Park is definitely beautiful and worth seeing. If you’re actively looking for something to do and have never been to the desert the Desert Museum is cool/interesting. The Mexican food is ridiculously delicious and basically all we eat when we’re there. Depending on where you’re staying- it likely has a nice pool and spa.

  4. Suggestions for a kids weekend in San Antonio? My 3 kids are elementary age. We would probably get there Friday evening and come home Sunday morning. I think Seaworld may be too much to cover.

    2. I’d just walk the river walk rather than doing the boat cruise. I otherwise agree with the prior poster.

    5. San Antonio native with a 5 and 9 year old here! Here’s what I’d do: Friday night dinner in King Williams district and walk around the neighborhood and along the river. Blue Star has a great patio if you want a beer and pub food. Saturday morning at Pearl Brewery for breakfast/farmers market. There’s a water play feature there if its hot and also a nice lawn for hanging out. After that, you could head to the Doseum (kids museum) or the Witte (natural history). I’d go for the Witte personally, the outdoor grounds are beautiful. Or you could head to Yanaguana Garden at Hemisfair, which is a fantastic playground, also with great water features. Its downtown and near some decent restaurants as well as a paleta shop (Mexican popsicles), and then you could walk around downtown. The Bontanical Gardens are also beautiful, also water features there (its hot in Texas so water features are plentiful! :) ). Sunday morning, get breakfast tacos before you head out of town. Tell me where you are staying and I can maybe recommend a spot near you. Don’t go to Sea World or Six Flags–you are only there for a very short time and that would be a waste. Both are a long drive from downtown and traffic can be a nightmare.

  5. The post later yesterday about giving out little toys on halloween . . . are we not doing candy anymore?
    This is my first year living somewhere where kids will trick or treat so I actually need to know

      1. Yes I get hundreds of trick or treaters. Definitely always have some chocolate candy and something that’s just sugary. Little red vines are surprisingly popular.

    2. We give out candy but also make sure to have a dairy/nut free option (gummy candies/lollipops) as there are SO many nut allergies. We let kids pick their candy and we only get 50-75 kids max so it’s not a huge lift to give them a choice.

      1. I have 3 kids and I’ve never actually met a child with a nut allergy! Apparently about 2% of the US population has a peanut allergy. Odds are none of your trick or treaters have it but I agree it’s easy to avoid anyway.

      2. Yeah, if you have some fruity candy (starburst, skittles, etc.), you’ll have something for kids with the common allergies (nuts, dairy, eggs, soy). I’m sure there will still be the occasional unlucky kid who can’t have those either, but the odds of them showing up at my door are low (we don’t get that many kids) and I’m not sure that they’d actually be happier with a pile of random plastic junk.

      3. For kids with a genuine peanut or nut allergy, I’m skeptical that the parents would let them have nut-free candy of unknown provenance. The allergy parent from my kid’s class was worried about the possibility of her kid’s food wrappers being within a hundred miles of a peanut product.

        Being inclusive is nice, but it’s always going to backfire on you because you will never be inclusive enough to please the parents.

        1. I’m an allergy parent of a kid with multiple allergies, and highly processed and properly labeled things like candies are actually unfortunately exactly what’s easiest to give my kid. If it’s a name brand, I know whether I can or can’t give it to my kid.

          No way in heck am I letting my kid eat the “allergy safe” food someone made for the bake sale, though!

          1. +1. DD has severe peanut allergy, but I have to let her have regular candy. It’s much easier to limit your kids when they are, say 4. When they are 12, you’ve got to give them some rope.

          2. Hahaha. Imagine someone giving out bowls or cups full of broth!

            Some parents in a neighborhood we go to for Trick or Treating hand out hot adult beverages in disposable coffee mugs. Nothing beats secretly sipping gluhwein while being dragged along by hyper kids for 3 hours in a snowstorm (or in summery weather, nothing in between). And we’re in a state where public consumption from open containers on the street is prohibited, so I appreciate these people so much!

    3. I’m doing candy. Kids seem to like it. And since when is buying plastic crap better.

      1. Having grown up in the stranger danger 80s/90s, I was so shocked the first time we went out in Scotland with our son. People invited us in, they had cupcakes and apple bobbing! We never get anyone at the door, so I buy the candy I like just in case someone comes by. But I’d much rather consumables than plastic stuff. I guess temp tattoos would be ok, but otherwise, no thank you.

    4. Yesterday’s post was the only person I’ve heard of, other than dentists, giving out non-sweets. We have two bowls, one with chocolate & PB, one with gummy candy, bc of common allergies.

      1. It’s pretty common in my suburban neighborhood – maybe 80/20 candy/no candy. I’m sure our neighbors aren’t 20% dentists!

      2. I’m married to a dentist and we give out all the candy! Pretty sure he has a bigger sweet tooth than I do. We obviously do candy in moderation at our house (and we are a no-soda home) but we don’t want to be the sad people giving out toothbrushes on Halloween. I live on a popular trick or treating street and haven’t noticed anyone not giving candy. Some people have potato chips.

        1. My kids’ pediatric dentist says to let them eat all the candy over a few days, and then throw the rest away. She says it’s worse for the teeth to squirrel it away and have one piece per day over a long horizon.

          1. Ah bummer, I hate throwing out food, but I also don’t want to be the one eating candy for a month

    5. There is a neat program called the teal pumpkin project. Some people who are focused in on food allergies like to have a couple of non-food items on-hand to help kids with food allergies feel more included. 1 in 13 in the US have food allergies currently, so the percentage is a lot higher than some might be aware of. But if it feels overwhelming to source both, it’s a nice to do but absolutely not necessary.

      1. +1 as a mom I hate anything non-candy. We already have so much plastic junk, please don’t give us more.

      2. I am still scarred by my mother insisting on giving out pencils and other non-candy things. I give out the BEST candy (and make her come over and hand it out with me as penance).

        1. Ha! When my kids are older and have aged out of trick-or-treating, I would like to become the house that gives out full-sized candy bars. It’s a big commitment, though, because our neighborhood is filled with kids.

        2. My very 90s diet culture parents were so excited that trick or treating in our current neighborhood would mean it “it won’t be a ton of candy” for my kid. I was like, what do you mean? They thought that because our neighborhood has a lot of doctors (we’re an easy commute to a hospital), our neighbors couldn’t possibly approve of terrible, unhealthy candy.
          (We are actually an awesome Halloween neighobrhood, and I buy the best kind, Reese’s pumpkins.)

          1. Oh my goodness. 90s diet culture really did a number on people. We live in a fantastic Halloween neighborhood. I’ve never been a big Halloween person, but everyone makes it so much fun, and it’s hard to not share in the excitement. Lots of people put out fire pits in their driveway, offer cider and cookies in addition to the candy, go all-in with holiday decor, or even set up haunted houses in their garages. It is so wholesome.

            My 9th grade kid is incredibly disappointed that he has a rehearsal scheduled on Halloween this year that he can’t miss, per the group’s attendance policy. He is legit bummed that he will miss out on the fun.

        3. We live in the most trick or treat-y neighborhood of our city. Needless to say, we love Halloween and go all out.

          My kids are too old to trick or treat now, but they still point out houses in the neighborhood that gave out the best candy.

          So you are forming some really strong memories with your top notch candy!

          A locally famous restauranteur used to give out full size Hershey bars and when my kids were little they thought he was basically a King and the richest man in the world.

    8. I give out chocolate only. A friend who has 3 kids collects all of the plastic junk that her kids get all year at places like the dentist and birthday parties. She mixes the plastic junk in with the candy and lets kids select whatever combination of candy and junk they want. She sees it as a way to get rid of the plastic junk without buying more and she thinks kids like it.

      1. Haha, that’s amazing! I volunteer with a zero waste organisation and I want to gather all the random 1 tiny action figure, kinder egg toys, etc into some sort of art piece/commentary on the plastic that just floats around us.

      2. I put a bunch of that stuff (omg stop it with the pop-its!) in a pencil box and called it the treasure box and my kids play school/dentist/doctor with it.

    9. I just do candy. It’s pretty common these days to have some non-candy treats for allergy kids though.

    10. I give out candy and glow sticks. Kids really like both, and parents seem to appreciate them. I started doing glow sticks after one of my managers mentioned that her son’s sensory issues made candy a problem.

      1. I do candy and clementines. And give kids a choice. And almost always run out of clementines before the end of the night.

      2. As the mom of a kid with sensory issues and 1,000 other problems, I think this is way over the top. Trick-or-treating is optional. Eating candy is optional. If it’s difficult for your kid, you let them choose whether they want to do it. They don’t need accommodations. It’s not a classroom.

        1. Feel the same way as an allergy mom. I know how to manage my kid’s allergy. We just sort the candy at home and trade anything problematic for safe candy that I buy beforehand. I kind of appreciate the effort to be inclusive, but this is very much not the hardest issue allergy parents deal with and I wish the energy were directed elsewhere.

          2. Right? Focus your energy on making EpiPens 100% covered by all insurances. I can afford the copay on mine, but I can’t imagine having to choose between keeping my kid’s Epi current vs paying rent. That’s the top issue, in my mind.

      3. I think the glow sticks are fun because the kids can use them right away. But, I also am not going to police my kids’ Halloween candy consumption. It’s fun and I don’t think candy is the devil itself, unlike many modern parents.

    11. When I was a kid I always loved the little toys, stickers, and pencils because my mom was strict about candy consumption. My first year as a homeowner I thought I’d be the cool house and give out toys. The kids asked “where’s the candy?” and threw the toys on my lawn. Never again.

    12. My mother (long after we we were grown and gone0 used to dress as a tooth fairy and give out tooth brushes. Super buzz kill.

      1. Not as much of a buzzkill as the family that gave out Bible verses – and they made the kids do it! They lived right next door to another house that went all-in on Halloween and made a massive, fun haunted house, which only contributed to their kids’ mortification.

        1. If I lived next door to a Bible verse house, I’d have to overdo Halloween every single year. Every year.

          1. My next door neighbors don’t hand out bible verses, but they do have a big poster on their door stating that they don’t participate in Halloween. The poster cites the Bible verses that prohibit their participation.

          2. I guess my church didn’t read those verses the same way because we get really into trunk or treat.

    13. Please don’t give out cheap plastic crap. If you don’t want to give candy then just don’t do anything at all.

    14. The only non-candy trick or treat that I (an old at 46) that I remember positively was an old lady who used to give out Eisenhower half dollars taped to index cards. Those were fun because it was an unusual to us coin but spendable if we wanted to.

      2. There was someone who gave out two dollar bills or a single individually wrapped Reese’s PB cup in Easter eggs near me! Fun to see what you got.

      1. That’s my experience, as well!

        My kid does not like any sweets or candy, so we started to exchange his Halloween loot for something that’s a treat for him, e.g. mini pretzels, goldfish crackers etc. Then we put two bowls out for Halloween, one for candy and one for salty stuff. The salty stuff is immediately gone, I think because it’s different.

    16. I have a few little non-candy treats, like little tubs Play-Doh or stickers. But we’re the Full Size Candy Bar House, so most kids pick candy. I mostly have the non-candy for my sweet little neighbor, whose family is from the former Soviet Union and had to be coaxed into participating in the tradition because “she had a party at school so that is enough candy.”

    17. I try to keep a bowl of non candy items (silly straws, temporary tattoos, etc) because of allergies. This is is what the teal pumpkin is meant to display, that you’re an allergy friendly house.

      The blue pumpkins are stupid for a million reasons (“autism awareness”) and I hate that they’re so close to teal. My autistic kid shouldn’t have to identify as autistic to make you feel better about his stilted ask for candy.

  6. I almost never click on the link to buy the featured item of the day, but this one would fill a hole in my closet so very well. In fact, I would have worn it yesterday. I clicked through and the jacket is completely sold out. Sounds like I shouldn’t but lottery tickets today!

    1. I went to purchase it also. And found these similar jackets:

      https://www.nordstrom.com/s/boucl-crop-jacket/8005137?origin=coordinating-8005137-0-4-PDP_1_OOS-recbot-also_viewed_graph&recs_placement=PDP_1_OOS&recs_strategy=also_viewed_graph&recs_source=recbot&recs_page_type=product&recs_seed=7798541&color=BLACK%20IVORY

      https://www.nordstrom.com/s/fringe-tweed-jacket/7854160?origin=coordinating-7854160-0-2-PDP_2.SEEDED_SUB_1-recbot-blueprint_item_to_item&recs_placement=PDP_2.SEEDED_SUB-1&recs_strategy=blueprint_item_to_item&recs_source=recbot&recs_page_type=product&recs_seed=8005137&color=RICH%20BLACK

    2. I was just able to add a size 4 to cart. I’m on the west coast (don’t know if stock is regional, like Amazon) but just FYI, keep checking. I’m far from a size 4 so I won’t be buying that one.

  7. Taking the bar exam again (passed the first time, long story) but am not able to take time off of work. Have all the necessary resources – study program that opens early, flash cards, etc. but want any tips from someone who has been in this position before! Apps, methods, etc? Graduated in Dec. 2019 and took the Feb. 2020 bar so I’m a bit rusty…but I think this is the right career move for me :) thanks!

    1. I took the NY bar as a foreign attorney while working full time. I did Barbri and listened to the lectures over and over during my commute. Even though I wasn’t 100% focused at all times, it definitely helped. I took the day before the exam off, more so I could arrive well-rested than too cram. Steady studying works. I would get up early and read my notes while drinking coffee. Lots of practice exams to understand how they ask the questions. Good luck!

    2. Is your jurisdiction UBE? I took the MA bar and 4 years later the NY bar. I could have waited to waive in, but I needed to get a move on and decided not to wait a year. At that time, the bars were not UBE, so I took a 2 week leave to study full time before the exam. Now with the UBE the exams are so much easier. I think I would just do what you’re doing, and add in listening to lectures on my commute (I used Themis). Good luck!!

    3. I took a second bar while working full time (because I didn’t want work to know I was planning on leaving and moving to another state). I just bought the Barbri books and self-studied like I did for the first bar, minus the barbri lectures. It was definitely harder, but doable. Just give yourself more time and it’ll be fine.

    4. What worked for me (I was five years out of taking NY and MA, and took CA attorney’s exam):

      I skipped reading the long outlines–I just didn’t need that level of detail for an essay/MPT only exam. YMMV, depending on whether you need to take MC questions where nuance matters.

      Get up early–study when your brain is fresh. You will not be as motivated or study as hard in the evenings. Just shift your schedule to get up at 5am and get a few good hours in while you’re having coffee. You can do a shorter subset of questions or lectures at night, but sitting down to 3+ hours of lectures and questions at say, 6pm on a Tuesday is not going to set you up for success.

      Really lean in to technical subjects early (for me–that was property, crim, civpro, evidence–I am a corporate attorney). This helped me work with the material longer and drill more on short outlines and flash cards on areas that had left my brain.

      Feel free to deviate from your program’s schedule. If you’re not fully “into” studying but need to keep on track, pick a shorter subject of lectures, and bang them out on a night you’re not feeling it. Just make sure you’re moving forward and pacing yourself to cover all the lectures and leave time for memorization and drilling before the test. You’ve taken a lot of tests–you can do this.

      Critical Pass flashcards while you listen are huge. Fill in mnemonics and nuance. A lot of information will come back to you, but you need time to do the memorizing.

      Study smart–not all portions of the exam are scored equally. Focus your efforts most on high-point areas, and work on your timing, so you don’t screw yourself with poor test management.

      Lean into your weaknesses–you know where you struggled last time–start with that this time, so that you see those questions and areas most as you study.

      Really, really work your weekend. If you have a commute, get some sum & substance or other bar lectures and listen in the car. I found listening to ConLaw, CrimLaw and Evidence easiest when driving.

      You have some vacation–strategically take some Fridays off in the months leading up to the test so that you can get ahead and get that material stewing in your brain longer, as you study. And take a week off before the test! Use that to do hard-core memorization and getting ready for essays.

      Good luck!!!

  8. My daughter’s high school soccer team has senior night coming up and I am one of the volunteers helping with it. By tradition, the seniors give bouquets to their parents and then give single roses to the senior players on the opposing team. We think that the single roses are going to be trashed or left on the bus, but we want to give them something. Does anyone have any suggestions? We are using booster club funds and this is public school, so it can’t be too $$. One parent suggested hair bows. Thanks.

    2. I’d just do roses. If they’re just going to be trashed, better it be something biodegradable.

      2. I’m a Booster Club President. Stick with tradition. Doesn’t matter if they flowers get trashed. There’s certain things you can/should change but don’t mess with Senior Night.

    5. I don’t really think you need to give anything to the opposing team, especially if it’s going to be trashed, which suggests they don’t really care. But if you feel like you have to give something, the single rose seems better than more crap they don’t need.

    6. This tradition seems 100% about the moment when the rose is handed over, not about whether they keep the rose. Stick with roses.

      1. Agreed. It’s not gonna be very special when they hand over plastic crap from Alibaba.

    7. How do you know they’re going to be trashed? Have you seen it? Because that’s definitely something my teammates and I would have kept when we were 17 years old. And I agree with not changing the tradition. It’s absolutely not your place to do that. Only do it if the players know they want something different.

    8. Roses, unquestionably. My (work) team has a similar tradition called a Rose Ceremony, which serves as an opportunity to recognize teammates individually for their role in an important project. This always happens right before a big party and we know the roses get left behind within moments or hours. It’s about the symbolic moment, not the preservation of the rose.

      1. I am intensely curious what industry you are in, because this sounds like something from the Bachelor. I can’t picture anything beyond awkward cringe as CFO Jan hands out roses to Tim and Edna from Accounting for completing the new software implementation.

        2. In the context of this ceremony, the team is in event production. The team spends 12 months preparing for this event, 7 days executing, and meets for this ceremony in the final 30 minutes of calm before the doors open to the finale gala. We’re dressed, we’re toasting, and we’re saying thank you in a way unique to our tight-knit team. The exchange of the rose buys opportunity for the leader to recognize each person. It is 100% a ripoff of The Bachelor, 100% started because we had extra roses one year, and other teams are 100% jelly.

    9. Can’t you just have the announcers say some kind words to the seniors on the opposing team without making a weird give/receive moment?

    10. Keep the roses. It’s about having their turn at the tradition more so than the actual thing.

    11. My daughter was in a varsity sport so we did a few senior nights – give the roses. It’s a tradition. Roses aren’t hurting anyone.

    12. I’m an Old. When I was in early high school I was given a single florist rose as part of my participation in an activity. It was the first time I’d ever received one and since I remember it to this day, obviously it was special to me. I did not trash it. I carried it home carefully and kept it in a case until it wilted, then I dried it and kept it for a very long time.

      I would not assume other participants won’t care about a rose.

        1. I assumed OP knew the roses were being trashed and wasn’t just guessing… but I still don’t know why she this is something else wouldn’t be trashed.

    13. In addition to the other comments, I would just say that it looks weird to give hair bows to members of the opposing team while parents receive bouquets. It is just random and strange. A single rose is in line with what the parents get, albeit on a smaller scale. A hair bow? Plastic stuff? Where is that coming from?

        1. I’m wondering what part of Texas OP is from. That’s the only place I’ve regularly seen girls wearing hair bows. My California kids would NEVER.

          1. Eh I’m in the Midwest and see teen girls in them sometimes. It’s especially popular for sports in team colors etc. I still think it’s a bad gift though.

  9. Anyone take a year off to do something different? I need to quit my job and want to take a little gap year to recover from burnout and figure out what to do next. I would like something concrete and intentional to do so that I’m not just hustling for the next thing (i.e., applying for jobs). Has anyone done something like this? Volunteer? Certificate? Adult-internship? I’m a mid-career lawyer and expect to go back to a law job after the gap year, so need to do something that is not completely out of the market, but I also need a real break. Thoughts from experience?

    1. I took a year off to do part-time contract work and focus on parenting. The contract work led to my next full-time job but was more stressful than I’d anticipated, for different reasons than my toxic job had been stressful. I also did a lot of volunteer work that was a pointless waste of time. If I could do that year over and didn’t have family responsibilities or financial constraints, I would focus on some sort of challenge like hiking the PCT or becoming a really good skier or passing a bunch of figure skating tests. Or I’d get a useless master’s degree in a subject about which I’m passionate but that is never going to be my career.

      1. I’ve often wished for volunteer opportunities that were more impactful. I’d love to hear about rewarding volunteer work that people do. I like things like trash/event clean up, so don’t mind manual labor. I dislike things like serving on an alumni advisory board, or anything with standing meetings. Aside from alumni contributions, most of what I’ve done involves traffic management (cars and people) and standing/sitting around.

        1. For me the most rewarding thing is working with kids. I’ve volunteered at my kid’s elementary school since before she was born, in a wide variety of roles (lunchroom/recess supervisor, book fair cashier/helper, classroom helper, reading interventionist). I hope to be a NICU baby snuggler when I’m retired. I dislike manual labor though.

        2. YES. Please give me tangible physical labor to do. Boards with meetings feel like work, and I don’t feel like I’m making a difference in any meaningful way.

          1. Food pantry food sorting is a good labor intensive option. There’s an org near me that donates books and magazines to kids and families in need and they are always in need of volunteers to sort and pack.

            My most meaningful volunteer opportunities lately have been election protection work and visiting with hospice patients.

        3. If you are in the US go be a poll worker. I did it in 2020 and it was really rewarding. In my district its a single shift, so I was there from like 5am to 10pm– exhausting, but super concrete to hand people their ballots, remind them to answer the proposition question on the back, answer their questions about eligibility, get accommodations for folks who need it, and generally feel like I had a part in preserving democracy. It was a one time thing for me to step in during the pandemic election year, but I would do it again when I have more free time. I agree that taking on a board role or similar is mostly useless, and the parts that are active (meetings, etc.) feels too much like my day job.

          1. My mom recently retired and is now a poll worker at local elections! Her experience mirrors yours. She really enjoys it, and the commitment is minimal. I think she gets a small stipend, too.

        4. Volunteering at the animal shelter can be very rewarding. I’m a cat socializer for my local shelter which also has dog volunteers who take dogs out on walks and sometimes take the dogs on field trips or overnights. You can also volunteer to foster very young kittens with their mom until they’re old enough for spay/neuter and adoption.

      2. Thank you for your comment. Do you think that if you had taken a year off to figure skate, you would have had a harder time getting back into the workforce a year later? Maybe this depends on the field you’re in? I do worry a but about explaining the gap year if it’s not arguably relevant to my field.

        1. I thought you were looking for something to do that *wasn’t* aimed at career development. If you want to look impressive, you need to do something like the Peace Corps.

          1. Yeah, this is kind of my bind. I truly need a break from burnout. I am a high-level attorney and expect to go back at a high level, so I want a break but also not to be completely disengaged. Or maybe I do. I am obviosuly confused.

    3. My husband is retiring from the military (age 45) and is hiking the Appalachian Trail before starting his next career. He’ll be out of work for about 7 months total…but he will have a pension coming in, so a little different financially.

      1. I was just reading yesterday that much of the AT in the Southeast is destroyed after Helene :(

    4. In my circles and from the resumes I’ve received, I usually only hear about child care or elder care for breaks. My friends who freelance write/edit go full in–they probably work harder than me in a regular job to build the right network and see through sometimes long cycles until hiring and then publication. If you go for a certificate, I think it can read heavily like you are trying to pass off like you were in a graduate program without actually being in a reputable program since there are so many of those junk programs out there. If it were me and I were looking to do the least amount of damage to my career trajectory, I would try to have that certificate or internship abroad so it looks like a deeper commitment while still giving an extremely valuable change of pace.

      1. Thank you for this perspective. I do a lot of hiring and always ask about breaks in a resume but I dont think I’ve ever discounted someone for what they did during that time. With the pandemic I have hired many people who were laid off or took off for child care, or closed up their own shop and are clearly looking for more stability. I had one person who took a year off and did a language program (probably just a glorified way of saying he was on duo lingo!).

        Would love to go abroad but my spouse and my kids are not as flexible.

    5. Substitute teaching. Haven’t done it but I did teach high school for a year right out of college and have always though I’d go back and be a sub someday.

    6. I am taking time off. Loving it.

      Honestly, I am mostly sleeping, relaxing, gardening, reading, watching all the shows I wanted to watch, doing all the activities I wanted to do, seeing the people I always wanted to see and taking long delayed trips/adventures. I also volunteered for some community groups, voter registration drives and will work on election day as a poll worker. I also help a lot of older neighbors/friends who have (?distant/unhelpful kids…) and are struggling with health issues etc..

      But getting back in career wise for me will be very difficult after a long absence. Fortunately, I am secure enough financially that I will pivot to a very different part time career that will hopefully carry me to early retirement. I have some very specific ideas of what I want to do, and all are passion projects that will be happy to have my expertise.

      1. This sounds awesome for you! How long will your break end up being? Are you willing to share what career you left and what kind of career you’ll pivot to?

    7. I took 6 months off after I had been a big 4 partner for 10 years. I did a combination of volunteering – both internationally and domestically, travelling to a health focused centre at the beginning and a safari at the end, spent some time with my parents helping them with a big project they were doing. It worked out great and flew by. I loved volunteering internationally. I spent a few weeks at a children’s hospital where the kids were there for longer periods. I will never forget the squeals of delight when some were able to go outside and play or rocking some of the little ones to sleep. Hope you have a fantastic year!

  10. I seem to remember there was a hack here, touted by Sr Attorney among others, about getting talk therapy covered under insurance when it otherwise wouldn’t be by doing the work of submitting the claim yourself. Was that with in network therapists only? I am having a hard time finding anyone who is not virtual and also takes my insurance.

      1. So the therapist doesn’t need to be in-network then. Thank you, I appreciate it.

        1. It will depend on your insurance plan’s out of network coverage. Not all plans have out of network coverage at all, and some only cover out of network providers at a certain %.

        2. Sometimes, all it does is go towards your out of network deductible, but it’s better than nothing.

          You can also pay for therapy using HSA or FSA funds.

        3. For my insurance, the only way to get out of network therapy covered is to keep submitting the bills and not getting them paid, then hitting the out of pocket max for non-network care. They’ll pay some of it in excess of the out of pocket max.

          I found it worth doing one year because we were close to that max, but another year we never hit it.

    2. We do this for DH’s periodontist who is out of network. DH pays for the visit in full, and the periodontist provides a couple of forms for us to seek reimbursement. We send the forms to DH’s insurance with a letter that he had the visit and we paid for it and asking insurance to reimburse us. Insurance pays us about 40% of what we pay the periodontist – although insurance always sends the check to the provider who then has to cut a check to us.

    3. Plenty of therapists don’t deal with insurance themselves and frankly I don’t blame them; that kind of paperwork must be a huge time suck. You can do it yourself, which is just the way insurance works, and not really a “hack.”

      1. I still blame them because (a) every other provider I see it does deal with insurance themselves even though it’s a huge time suck for them too and (b) therapists see a lot of people in crisis and people diagnosed with conditions that specifically make it much harder to do this themselves at the exact time at which they’re seeking help in therapy. (I’m sure they’d say they’re less adequately reimbursed than other providers.)

        1. The therapy model in the US is equivalent to the “Chuck in a Truck” general contractor model. One therapist hangs out a shingle. May share office space with other therapists, but each of them are independent. Because of that, there are no staff to take care of the billing.

          Reimbursement rates from insurance are low, so if they can get their clientele to just pay their $200ish/hour without any insurance hassles and negotiated rates (which are less than half of that) why would they take on directly billing insurance? Unless they’re desperate for clients, in which case, is that really a good therapist?

          There’s a recent pro publica article about how hard it is to find in-network therapy. Insurers have these mental health networks that are out of date and very very few of them actually return calls or take the insurance. They advertise that they cover mental health services, but actually they don’t. They make the benefits impossible to access.

        2. It’s well-documented that the hassles of insurance result in less physician time with patients, rushed care, doctors spending the appointment pecking away at laptops instead of listening to their patients, less access to care, and higher costs.

          This is one of the many reasons I beat the drum on the value of HSAs. It’s better all around if people just spend that money on the care they want and need.

    4. Submitting a claim yourself doesn’t magically mean your insurance company will cover it. It is just how the details for your claim get from the provider to the insurance company if the provider does not participate in that process themselves.

      Whether your insurance company will cover some or all of an out-of-network claim, as well as whether this cost counts towards any calendar year out-of-pocket amounts, is going to be entirely dependent on what your policy covers.

  11. I know we’ve discussed it before, but if anyone wants to answer again….what are the key coverage points I should be looking for in my auto insurance? We just got our renewal bill and I’m going through our policy. For some reason everything about cars seems to go in one ear and out the other and I have no frame of reference for what is adequate/good coverage

    1. My answers are assuming you’re in a normal tort state. It’s different if you’re in a no-fault state where you buy PIP.

      Carry the highest liability limits – Bodily Injury is the important one, but property damage (your liability for damaging someone’s property, usually their car) is your other liability coverage.

      Uninsured motorists has some sub-categories, but all of them are to protect you if you’re in an accident with a driver who is uninsured, and the accident is their fault. Uninsured motorist BI is for your injuries, Uninsured motorists PD is for your property damage, and Underinsured motorists comes into play when the at fault driver has insurance but not enough for your damages. These tend to be optional, but some states require a minimum. How much you buy depends on your risk tolerance.

      Physical damage coverages are Collision and Comprehensive. They cover your vehicle, not your liability to others. The rates vary based on how much your vehicle is worth and how much it would cost to repair your vehicle.

      Collision covers damage to your vehicle in an accident caused by you, or perhaps by someone without insurance (if you don’t have UMPD). You have a deductible on this, and you should choose a fairly high deductible if you can afford it.

      Comprehensive covers other damage to your vehicle like it being burned in a fire or a tree falling on it. It tends to be cheaper than Collision. I carry a lower deductible on comprehensive because it only costs a few dollars more.

      In most cases, you’re not required to carry damage coverages if you don’t have a car loan. Usually, it’s the lender who requires you to carry these coverages. I have two fully paid for cars and I buy physical damage coverage anyway, for my own risk tolerance.

      Other add-ons are rental car reimbursement and towing coverage. Depends on what you want. rental car reimbursement will pay something toward rental car if your car is in the shop in a physical damage situation.

    2. Please do not buy the minimum for liability and underinsured/uninsured driver. You and your family members will all be in car accidents at some point in your life. An inordinate number of them will involve other drivers who are under/uninsured and have no assets to reimburse your losses. And some of those accidents will be serious.

      And if you ever hit/injure/kill someone, they deserve to be compensated, as best as is possible.

      I have 500,000 limit. and I carry an umbrella policy.

  12. Talk to me about switching to a lower stress, lower paid job. I have a “big job” in government, and am just burned out. Every time I manage to take a vacation or breather and feel better, the burnout is back within days/weeks. I have unpredictable hours, with nights and weekends at fairly random times, and often have to work holidays. No WFH option, except the times I have to deal with something unexpectedly in the middle of the weekend or at night. I have an opportunity to apply for a job that would be very 9-5, but boring and not likely to lead to a lot of career growth (though not impossible to move up). The salary is 30% lower, back to the salary I was making 4 years ago, but I’ve been saving aggressively for retirement for 15 years and I don’t think the hit to savings or lifestyle is massive. Salary growth is likely to be minimal, the salary band tops out at about 5% lower than my current salary, and unclear how many years it would take to reach that.

    It’s hard to give up a “cool” job with tons of responsibility, that I’ve worked for a decade to get to, and I’m nervous that after the burnout fades I will regret it. But omg I so tired.

    2. I think it’s time to move on from your current job but there may be something better than the alternative you described. There are lots of jobs that aren’t super boring and that still have career growth opportunities while giving good QOL.

      1. Take a gap year with me (poster from above)! I could have written my post with almost all the details from yours. I wonder if we’re colleagues…

    4. I did it and mostly don’t regret it. I have an elementary age kid and aging parents and really really appreciate the option to be more present with them – I can volunteer at the school, we don’t have to use aftercare and care for school breaks, taking frequent sick days for my parents and kid are not a problem, etc.
      That said it is mind-numbingly boring and doing the same boring thing day after day is a bit soul-draining. I tell myself I will get a more challenging job when my kid goes to college although between age and my stagnated resume I’m not sure that will be possible. More likely I’ll just retire once we’re done paying for college and throw myself into volunteer work.

    5. I did this about 15 years ago and haven’t regretted it a single time. I went from BigLaw to a 9-5 government lawyer job that has almost no wage growth and has no upward mobility. I took a 60% pay cut to do it. I wanted to have a life that I could plan and pursue my interests outside of work, which was impossible for me in BigLaw. My original plan was to do the 9-5 government job for about 5 years and go back to a law firm to make more money and have more stimulating work, but I wasn’t interested after I discovered how much I enjoyed getting to live my life.

    6. I did this 2 years ago, and there have been pros and cons. More pros than cons, but nonetheless I’ll share both sides. My old job, like what you are describing, was exhausting (short staffed, change fatigue, constant reorganizations, toxic environment, trying to manage across Europe and AP time zones from Central was a killer). And when you can’t recover from the burnout, it means it’s real and time to switch things up. The biggest pro is that life feels more manageable. I have flexibility and remote, though said boring job is not as cushy as I imagined it would be. It is still actually a job, but what I would describe as a true 9-5. Predictable, no rush deadlines, manageable, but not “not a job.” I took a 50% pay cut. A thing that has affected me and you may find this too, I have never done particularly well at boring jobs. I miss being in the action. I miss people. Instead of doing things, I now observe other people doing things, and I’m not going to lie, I miss half of my old job. I also thought my new job would not be toxic, but it turns out it is, though less so. I think my old job was burning me out but it was also supplying a lot of things that I like/need that this new job doesn’t. Overall I’m still glad I made the switch to take a breather, but it was by no means a silver bullet, and now I sometimes find myself depressed and very lonely, which is a completely different kind of tired. I am viewing this as a temporary stopping point until I find something else, but at least I have time to think.

    7. I also did this and on the whole, it has been a very good change. I enjoy having nights and weekends back after working super long hours for years, and the culture at my new workplace is way more supportive and kind. I took a bigger pay reduction than you are anticipating and do miss my old job’s salary (mainly the huge amounts I could save each month with little effort) and sometimes consider going back to my big job or something like it for comp reasons alone. It also took a little bit of time to work out my feelings around no longer identifying as my big job title. Taking a few months between gigs helped me a lot with that. By the time I started my new job, I had put the old job to bed and was ready for something new. Still working out some kinks after a year in new job. Turns out even without the super intense environment, I have workaholic tendencies, and I have to check myself sometimes and remember that it’s ok to work at 100% and not 125% all the time.

  13. Socks over leggings: I can accept this is a thing but I want to scream that this is how I wore mine in middle school in the 70s, with both leggings and sweats. I am a grandmother. Truly everything comes back around if you wait long enough.

    1. It was also a thing in the 80s with slouchy socks over stirrup leggings and tights. And it never stopped being a thing with hikers, dancers, joggers…probably others.

    2. I wore them in the early 90s with my stirrup pants as a 3rd grader. Once per generation is enough :)

    3. I don’t remember leggings in the 70s. I do recall the stirrup pants of the 80s / early 90s.

  14. What’s the “correct” way to fill out an employee engagement survey? I’m the only person reporting to my boss, so it’s obviously not anonymous. I’ve been looking for a new job for six months. I’m not interested in causing waves here or providing any substantive feedback as it’s completely useless. Is it least noticeable to be neutral or slightly positive or elated about the current state in response to the questions?

    1. Are you sure that your boss will get specific survey results? My company doesn’t give leaders survey results for their team unless they have at least 4 direct reports that complete the survey. A teammate of mine has 4 direct reports but 1 never does the survey so she never gets results, they all roll up to our leader.

    4. What others have said. Neutral and in comments, if you have something good to say, say it, but otherwise no. These are not anonymous despite what they say.

    5. Don’t fill it out? They’ve always been optional at my company and I don’t complete them.

      1. ymmv but at my org not filling it out is viewed as “not being a team player” (and they absolutely track complete rates) and “mildly positive; no comments” (or something really low stakes & positive, like you enjoyed meeting other teams at the company picnic) is a safer option

    6. My firm takes these seriously and sincerely. I am behind the scenes enough to know that the results of ours are indeed anonymized (although a lot of employees don’t believe that, which is what it is).

      Responses with constructive criticism are the most impactful. If people are too vague it is not actionable, but when we have hourly employees who state they want to be able to volunteer in the community but cannot because the opportunities to do so fall within working hours, we implemented a program where you can take a day off from work twice per year, still get paid your normal rate for the day, and spend that time volunteering with a local organization of your choice. The “want more benefits” responses are harder to address.

      If you are casually looking to leave and want to respond in a way that is helpful, providing suggestions about ways to improve your workplace has potential to positively impact you if you stay longer than planned, and your colleagues regardless of where you end up.

      1. This is great advice.

        I wish someone had explained to me at my first job that these surveys were not truly anonymous. It had big repercussions on me, for being honest. It lead to reprimands for my employer/program from governmental review bodies. This was appropriate, and change would never had happened without this. But I didn’t realize that I would be the only one who would reveal the truth and be punished for it.

  15. Late in the day so might re-post this afternoon.

    Has anyone had Botox in the armpits for excessive sweating?

    If so did it work? How was the procedure pain wise and how quickly was it effective? How many treatments did you need, how many follow ups etc? Thanks!

  16. Do you think “nice” structured cardigans (especially in neutral colors) are the equivalent of blazers for the purposes of business casual, or will they always be a step down in formality? Big law for what it’s worth.

    For example, I’m thinking along of this type of cardigan:
    https://www.abercrombie.com/shop/us/p/luxeloft-crew-sweater-jacket-57255819?seq=11&cmp=PLA:EVG:20:A:D:US:X:GGL:X:SHOP:X:X:X:X:x:A%26F+Adults_Google_Shopping_PLA_US_Tops_All+products_PRODUCT_GROUP&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAADeAqWMEhn-T3jKIIEEkodf0_6YQa&gclid=CjwKCAjw9p24BhB_EiwA8ID5BjQEq0DGXaazjaXWvCH7FMBQFwVkZGECwXrv_5tYL4v8Ol4n_qMjThoC9HUQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

    1. I have seen this Abercrombie cardigan in the wild and it has an elevated read for business casual. I think it can even go a step above that.

  17. This sounds awesome for you! How long will your break end up being? Are you willing to share what career you left and what kind of career you’ll pivot to?

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