ByElizabeth Hours Updated
Comments 329 Comments

Splurge Monday’s Workwear Report: Sue Texture Cardigan

Returning to the office means returning to shared thermostats and over-the-top air conditioning. For me, a cozy office cardigan is a necessity for surviving July and August.

This textured version from L’Agence would be perfect — it’s an almost-neutral color that goes with just about everything, a great length, and the gold buttons give it a little bit of flair. Plus, it has pockets for stashing a phone, ID card, and mask.

The sweater is $475 at Nordstrom and comes in sizes XS–XXL.

Halogen has a cardigan in a similar pink in sizes XXS–XXL and 1X–3X for a more affordable price of $49.

Sales of note for 12.3.24 (lots of Cyber Monday deals extended, usually until 12/3 at midnight)

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

329 Comments

  1. My neighbor seems determined to ruin our yard for the summer. We live in a townhouse with a patio and small yard area directly adjacent to the next two lots (with a privacy fence). We moved in in February and were very excited to have a yard (coming from a condo). But ever since the weather has been nice enough to be outside, it’s been clear that the neighbor has embarked in some time of intense patio construction project that involves shipping a lot of lumber to his backyard, sawing it, sanding it, etc. It’s his weekend project, and he technically complies with the noise ordinance in my city (as in, he starts at 8:01 and ends at 4:59 every Saturday and Sunday). It’s LOUD and dusty and they are always in the yard blasting music so we basically can’t use our space. We’re friendly with the people on the other side, but all of our attempts to strike up a friendly conversation with these people have fallen flat. Any advice on how to bring this up? There is still a large pile of lumber in the yard and it doesn’t like as though they are finishing soon.

    1. Make nice so you’re invited to the first party on the new deck! You said it yourself, he’s not doing anything wrong. Your options are learn to tune it out, stay inside, or if they’re DIYing it, asking what you can do to help.

      1. He needs to talk to the Condo association. My dad had an issue in Florida with a similar situation, and with my help, he got the Board to talk to the guy and tell him that they would assess him a nuisance fee of $3000 for the benefit of the association and the neighbors if he didn’t keep the noise down and get the job done within a week. So he had to hire professionals to do the work and they did.

        And I love the Cardigan Sweater, Elizabeth! Ever since Taylor Swift named her album, I have bought 3 cardigan’s, and they’re good for work with a cami, so that men can’t just stare at our boobies all day.

    2. You have a quiet outside spot at 5 sharp every evening? That’s not nothing. I’d trade my weed-smoking neighbor for this in a heartbeat (and lived with this last year, where my townhouse neighbor built a lot of planters; how I guess I know for what).

    3. Other than blasting loud music I’m not sure he’s doing anything wrong. He enjoys his backyard by doing yard work – why should that automatically be lower priority than what you want to do? I would ask him to please turn down the music and otherwise leave it alone.

    4. If he’s staying within the ordinances, I don’t think there’s much you can do. He’s entitled to whatever home improvement projects or loud hobbies he has. Agree with the previous poster that if you have a quiet yard after 5pm, you’re doing pretty good.

    5. Ok, thanks everyone for the reality check. It’s true that the yard is generally quiet after 5 and he is not doing anything wrong as per the rules, but it does feel like a lot of noise. I was hoping for the ability to drink coffee in the sun but will chalk it up to the normal disturbances of living in proximity to other people. It looks like they are DIYing but I’m not sure my neighbourliness goes as far as offering my help… We did ask them over for drinks after they were done once, which they politely declined.

    6. He is doing what is allowable, and I have been him. Work during week, projects on weekends. Nothing you can do.

    7. This patio project isn’t forever, and will be completed eventually. You will be probably be neighbors with these people for a lot longer. I would tread lightly on burning any bridges with them over a temporary noise and dust issue because that will probably be a small trade as opposed to a bad/tense relationship with them for an indefinite period of time if you lodge a complaint against them when they are technically complying with the rules.

    8. Dont bring it up. They are allowed to use their yard. Go outside and use yours.

    9. This seems a little ridiculous, is your neighborhood just never supposed to renovate their home or yard ever? They’re following the rules.

      1. Agreed, especially the framing that the neighbor is trying to “ruin your yard” for the summer. Neighbor is trying to make their own yard nicer. They don’t really care that much about you and your yard. You will feel similarly when you decide to do any work on your own home.

        1. +1, not weird to be annoyed by it (I would be too) but weird to take it as a personal affront that they’re trying to “ruin” your enjoyment of your yard. They’re trying to enjoy their yard themselves, clearly!

    10. As my wise father once said, you can pick your nose but you can’t pick your neighbors. It stinks and I’m sorry, but I think letting it go will be more beneficial in the long run.

      1. +1. It’s definitely annoying and you are entitled to feel annoyed by this, but as long as it’s not affecting quiet hours, I think that’s the best you can do right now. You could consider asking him to lower the volume on the music.

    11. Treat yourself to some really amazing noise cancelling headphones and blissfully ignore the racket while sipping your coffee in the summer sunshine. Focus on what you CAN control, and not on what you can’t.

    12. I feel you, I moved into a townhouse from a condo and I guess I thought it would be quieter? Or at least no louder? I know now that my expectations were off. Townhouses and townhouse communities just aren’t constructed for the purpose of blocking out normal human noise from adjacent homes, whereas condos generally have better noise insulation and privacy protections. I hear my neighbors get up and stomp around at 6 am every day including weekends. Various neighbors are mowing their lawns all day and night, which is inexplicably more disruptive than the freeway and fire station outside my old condo complex. Someone is always doing construction or drive by honking for someone’s birthday/graduation or having a party or generally being noisy. I’m truly perplexed that my suburban townhouse is 10x as noisy as my urban condo, but it is what it is, no one is doing anything wrong. I’ve learned that a closely packed suburban neighborhood just isn’t for me, and I will make a different decision with the next house. Out in the country. With a lot of land and no neighbors.

      1. Yeah, my condo was in a pretty soundproof concrete building and my neighbors were elderly and quiet. I guess I hadn’t excepted the house to be louder, but it is! I love the house and we plan to be here for at least a few years so I’ll let the neighbor do his thing, but I’m glad I’m not the only one who was surprised by that.

      2. Oh dear, we are those people. Living in a townhouse and leaving for meet my running buddies at 5:10 am. Sincerely hoping my neighbors cannot hear the garage door opening at 4:55 am! On the plus side, we are in bed early and never entertain in a loud-ish way on our patio.

    13. I get it, I’d be aggravated too. My next-door neighbor never stops using single-stroke engines and I want to scream. But there’s nothing you can do, that’s how living on top of other people works. If you can’t deal, you need to buy acreage.

      1. I will happily post bail for anyone accused of stealing and destroying a leafblower. Unfortunately, the damned things are just part of living where I do. I’m replacing my old single-pane windows in the fairly near future, which will help a bit.

    14. My backyard used to be very peaceful but my backyard diagonal neighbors built an ADU in their backyard, and now those neighbors are literally right on the fence line and staring over my fence at my backyard all the time. It’s unsettling.

      I think the only way to avoid having a neighbor situation you don’t like is to move to acreage in the country. Even then I’m sure there are issues.

      1. Aside from the environmental impact of low-density housing, moving to the country is far from a panacea. Life in the country near where I live involves hearing target shooting and other gunshots at all hours of the day and night, motorcross bikes (big ones) during daylight hours, outside dogs who are penned up and make their displeasure known and other loud annoyances. The grass ain’t greener, there’s just more of it to mow.

        1. Haha to your last sentence. I actually know of some of this, as I grew up in that kind of area and swore off living in the country as an adult. But now and then I do get that itch.

          Easements are a big issue in rural areas. Imagine someone driving right across your backyard in their pickup truck because it’s a shorter route to the highway and they believe they have an easement (they don’t), which they will defend to the death, literally, with a gun. Good times.

  2. Are there any beach towns in the Carolinas or Georgia where you can walk to most everything (restaurants, little grocery stores, shops, etc.) for a long weekend or week-long visit? I have been to Rehoboth Beach DE before, where this is what I remember, but it is too far a drive now. My friends all report that beaches in my new part of the US all have small houses on barrier islands, but you generally need to drive back to the mainland for anything at all, as these places developed with big stores on main highways and not little mom and pop places sprinkled into neighborhoods. I am sure that what I am thinking of exists, but every place looks appealing on its website and assurances that things are “nearby” is really not helpful to a first-time visitor.

    I am hoping that you would say places like “Wrightsville Beach, NC” or “Folly Beach, SC”, which I have heard good things about and could easily get to, but am open to suggestions.

    1. It’s been awhile but we loved staying on Folly Beach, so would definitely recommend it. I’d love to go back! I remember there being a bunch of cute mom-and-pop places on the main road through “town”. From a quick Google Map search, looks like they have a small market on the island, but I think we went to the Piggly Wiggly on the mainland while driving there so can’t comment on how good the on-island one is.

      1. My parents went to Folly Beach a couple years ago and loved it. They stayed on the beach and could walk to restaurants, etc.

    2. My parents have a house in Duck, NC. There are some rental houses right in the center of Duck that are pretty walkable to cute stores and restaurants, and there’s one fancy grocery store, convenience stores, and a couple of produce stands, but you’d want to drive to a bigger (cheaper) grocery store. I’m not familiar with anywhere on the outer banks north of, say, Nags Head that would really meet your description. Most of these towns were built up in the 70s or later, and you really need a car to get to them, so they are very car-oriented.

      1. Going to say Duck as well. There are several streets right around it that are walkable for this

    3. St. Simons, though the beach near the village isn’t that great (and I don’t think there’s actually a grocery store that’s walkable, now that I think about it). Jekyll Island, in Georgia, if you stay in one of the hotels in the beach front village area. It’s a very small little village, but it’s got a little grocery store and some restaurants/shops. Water’s not clear because of the silt, though, if you’re used to like Florida beaches. Surf City on Topsail in NC is walkable (gets very busy, though). Ocean Isle is pretty walkable, but I don’t remember if there’s a grocery store nearby. It also doesn’t have a beach, but Beaufort, NC is cute and you can take the ferry out to Shackleford Banks or Cape Lookout for a beach. Probably Hilton Head if you stay in the right part. There’s also resorts like Wild Dunes on Isle of Palms that is kind of like their own tiny town that might be a good option.

      1. Oh, and it’s Florida, but the Gulf side, so may or may not be close enough for you–but Seaside.

    4. Love Folly, have been twice. I would recommend having a car and going into Charleston a few nights though, I get a little bored of the beach town vibe after several days.

    5. Amelia Island in northern Florida maybe? I don’t know if you can just walk everywhere but the major stores are on-island rather than mainland (like the Publix) so it’s not a hassle if you forget something.

      1. It depends on which part of the island you stay in (northern side/closer to Fernandina vs southern/Ritz Carlton resort) but the island isn’t so big that you couldn’t bike everywhere rather than walk. I love AI and go every summer…I opt to stay beach-front rather than go closer to town though.

    6. Bald Head Island, off of Southport, NC – you drive and park your car to take the ferry over. Only golfcarts are allowed for residents and visitors and very walkable. There’s a grocery store, restaurants, and other shops on island. No liquor store though so bring supplies! It is the most peaceful place – just love it!

  3. I just bought this skirt (link below) and am trying to decide whether to keep it. I think the fit is great and I generally like it; I’m 5′ 2″ and it hits a little bit below the knee however. I typically wear my skirts right at the top of the knee, so I guess what I’m asking is (1) what’s our general opinion of the skirt? Cute or not? (2) does the length seem on the longer side of fine or just too long/can you get leather stuff like this hemmed? (3) Would you be inclined to keep the skirt or not? I’m leaning yes.

    https://www.nordstrom.com/s/boss-serasa-lambskin-leather-pencil-skirt/6117674

    1. I don’t think you could easily hem that because of the zipper.

      Whether or not to keep it will depend on exactly where it hits you. If it’s right below the knee at the narrow point where your calf tapers in, great. If it’s at the widest point of the calf, unflattering.

      1. It’s possible it could be shortened from the top, but that would be an expensive alteration

      2. Shortening a zipper isn’t necessarily a big deal; most zippers are actually cut to size. I think sewing leather is probably more of an issue – it’s not something every sewing machine can do, and if you make a mistake it can’t be undone without leaving obvious holes.

        1. I have only ever shortened a zipper at the bottom, not the top. I would be more concerned about the leather than the zipper, though.

          I think just below the knee is a very flattering length if the hem hits right at the bottom of the knee where your leg is narrowest and if the skirt tapers in a bit at the bottom. If it hits in the middle of your calf or if the skirt is absolutely straight it is much less flattering.

          If you think alterations are needed, I’d take it to a trusted tailor for an honest assessment before removing the tags.

    2. So, I love Boss’s aesthetic, but I would never call it cute. It is, to me, very literally Boss. IDK if this is your aesthetic, but I really think they do a terrific job in this area. If you google pictures of Queen Letiticia of Spain, she wears this brand a lot. Like all the time it seems. She is taller and wears it very well. If this is what you’re going for, it will be the right skirt for you. BUT, I would return it if you are thinking of hemming it — that zipper will make it tricky if not impossible. You’d probably be better off looking for another skirt.

      1. Whoa- I just looked up the queen of spain and I really dig her style. Thanks! I’ll try it on again and see where exactly it hits. As I recall, it’s close to the narrowest point of my leg, but I’m not sure if it hits right there.

    3. I’m a lot taller than you but I love the look of a skirt that hits just below the knee.

    4. For that price I’d expect it not to be hacked off in the middle, with another piece tacked on. It would be cute if it wasn’t an expensive patchwork.

    6. Just my two cents. I think the final appearance would be better if the length was removed from the upper half of that central horizontal seam and the zipper shortened at the top or bottom to match the new length (which would involve removing the zipper all the way to the end, shortening it, and then reinstalling it). The lining would need to be shortened as well. If it were fabric this would be a lot more involved than just taking up the hem, but leather is just that much more difficult to work with so I imagine tailoring costs would be rather steep to go this route.

    7. I have a similar skirt (sans zipper) and it has a horizontal seam on it as well. I wonder if that is something about how they get pieces suitable to use as garment material? I also had leather pants for a while and there was at least one horizontal seam on the legs. I got rid of the pants, BTW. They were lined at least, so no issues of the leather pants episode of Friends. The skirt I feel is a classic.

    8. I like a skirt at or below the knee, but I’m 5’10. I’d think twice about this item because it skews workwear, but it’s neither formal or casual. I personally never dress up to go out and feel good in a pencil skirt, I would wear to my casual office, nor would I choose leather for a Big Meeting kind of day.

        1. I have worn to work, but often on a day where I have something I want an outfit on for an after-work event. Our dress code at work is “not pajamas” but we do dress for various events that need more formal attire. I don’t have the sort of work meetings where this is the sort of attire needed for that (generally: suits or formal dresses for those).

    9. The best shopping advice I ever got was that I’ll never love the item more than on the day I bought it. So if I don’t love it when I bought it, I probably won’t love it later. Sounds like you don’t love it. Therefore, I wouldn’t keep it.

        1. Agreed for anything expensive, flashy, or otherwise not classic. I have a very hard time buying basics because I’m never excited about a camel sweater, or a black sheath. However I never, ever regret having well fitting neutral tops/skirts/dresses when I suddenly have to go to a meeting/into the office and just need to put on something appropriate.

      2. Agree with this. My one caveat is that I occasionally find that clothing items that I’m just satisfied with or neutral about really grow on me over time, whether it’s because the fabric holds up well, I get tons of compliments on it, or it is very versatile. Something like that. But this rarely happens with things to which my initial response is, “this would be great if [fill in the blank].”

  4. I am being recruited to serve as an expert witness for a case involving a company in my very niche industry. We’ve agreed on a rate for work and for deposition/travel, discussed time/commitment though at this point it’s pretty fluid.

    I’ve never done this before and would like to do it well. I am not a lawyer nor have I ever worked with them outside the fact that the compliance department used to report into me (totally unrelated to the case at hand). In your experience, what makes for a good expert witness? A terrible one? I particularly mean in selecting one to work with your client on the case. The specific matter here is I’m being asked to talk about what is typical/common practice in my industry (and I assume the lawyers will argue that their client was within these typical/normal practices). I assume I’m going to do some kind of write up/ analysis and then speak to it.

    1. Your job is explaining your expertise to people who know nothing about it in a convincing way.

      1. I have heard it said that a good expert witness comes across as an effective and engaging teacher.

    2. Two aspects of being an expert – the report and the testimony. You will likely work very closely with counsel in drafting the report. Make sure that you carefully read any edits they make – you want to be sure everything is correct and defensible. Try to get any written material done well in advance (a common problem I see as an attorney is seeing last-minute written work product from an expert that needs editing for clarity, grammar, etc. which could unintentionally change meaning.) You will likely need to provide a list of anything you used to create your report, so keep those records in the first instance so you don’t have to go hunting later. Since you haven’t done this before, you won’t have any prior testimony to list – but if you want to build this as a practice, make sure you keep a running list of your expert work because you will have to submit it with every report.

      For testimony – you will likely be deposed, and later possibly have to testify at trial or at a hearing. A deposition is where the opposing party’s attorney gets to ask you questions and a court reporter records your answers to create an official transcript. That transcript can then be used as evidence in the case. The attorneys will help you with this, but the main thing is to listen carefully to the question being asked, and if you disagree with any premises behind it, make sure you explain those. Because the end product of your testimony is a transcript, you want to avoid clean sound bites that work against your client/position. If they show you a document, take your time to read it. Be prepared to have your social media scrutinized. Be prepared to have your qualifications attacked.

    3. I work with experts a lot. Ask the attorneys what they need from you–depending on the state/court, they may not need a write up (and might prefer you actually don’t do any sort of writing). Be understanding that if it gets to trial, they might have little control over timing/schedule–my favorite experts are the ones who are understanding that I can’t guarantee a specific day on which I will need them to testify months in advance and flexible on that. The good ones are the ones who can explain complex issues to a jury in a very understandable and convincing way–a good test is “could a middle schooler understand the way I have explained this?”

      1. Oh, and assume that literally anything about you online, the other side will find if it’s publicly available, and the limits on what they can ask you about at deposition are minimal most places (could half the stuff I’ve seen experts asked about be used at trial? No. Does that stop some attorneys from asking about it just to rattle the witness? Also no.)

    4. – Scheduling. Understand that timing will continue to be a bit fluid. Deps usually run longer than expected, and may not end at COB. Never trust opposing counsel who says they have “just a few more questions” – that means at least another hour. Set aside time a couple days before your dep for a prep session with your side. If there is a rebuttal expert, you may need to sit in on their dep too. If the case goes to trial, you will have to hold multiple days because the attorneys can’t be certain of an exact time the court will be ready for you.
      – Your report. You will almost certainly have to prepare a written report. The report should include your CV, a list of your publications, and a list of the documents you relied on in reaching your opinion. Generally, industry expert reports provide a general overview of the industry, then generally describe the practice at issue and how it fits in the overall picture, then describe the standard for the practice at issue, and then explain why the conduct at issue does or doesn’t meet the standard. If you’re asked to say why the other side didn’t meet the standard, you should rely on the other side’s pleadings and deposition testimony; it’s very effective when the expert can quote the other side and say, no this isn’t a correct statement and here is why. Write for a middle schooler. The people reading your report will not be familiar with your industry. Be prepared to be a teacher for your side.
      – Rebuttal expert. The other side may hire an expert to tell the court that you are wrong about everything. You will need to be prepared to defend your position and explain why the other expert is wrong (and also what they are right about). You should also help your side prepare for the deposition of the rebuttal expert. Your side may ask you to prepare a reply report, which will be a written report that explains why the other guy is wrong.
      – Billing. If you give an estimate of the overall costs, then don’t send a surprise bill that’s double the estimate. These things usually cost more than expected, but be sure to give them a heads up first.

      1. Thank you! This is super helpful and exactly what I was hoping to see–insights on how to be a good “hire” and also a little about what to expect. I’m not a particularly technical person and it’s not really a technical field (I’ve definitely never done publications!); it’s just a case where the defense has to prove that what they did is “usual and customary” in the industry.

        This is totally not it, but think about it like Company A changed their product so it no longer runs if you use Internet Explorer and is making their clients upgrade to a new version. Client XYZ is suing because they don’t want to pay to upgrade. I’m being hired to say that literally every company in this space has stopped supporting Internet Explorer, the top 5 players who account for 80% of the market share (all of which I’ve worked for making decisions on what internet browsers the products will run on, including doing client user groups) put their clients on notice 5 years ago and no longer support it.

        1. Glad it was helpful! A couple of things jumped out at me about your example (understanding this isn’t the real case). First is that you should be sure to understand where the conflict lies and what each side wants. In your example, the issue is that the customer has to pay for an upgrade they don’t think they should have to pay for; you would need to opine that 1) everyone stopped using IE AND 2) everyone charges for the upgrade. The charge is the real issue. Second, avoid throwing your own client under the bus. If everyone gave notice to customers 5 years ago, make sure your client gave notice too. If they didn’t, talk to the attorneys about how to deal with that. Third, be sure you can support any official-sounding numbers or data you cite. We colloquially say things like 80%, but remember your report and testimony will be in writing, so that 80% better be 80% not 72.8%. Along those lines, think back to your college papers where you had to insert a citation to a source for every sentence. If you want to rely on a group study then you should be prepared to cite to a source that describes the study. Very general things are ok for you to opine about. Very specific things need a source if possible. Also be sure nothing you say is confidential about another client or project. Good luck!

    5. The worst expert witnesses I worked with (pharma patent litigation) were the ones who thought they were smarter than the lawyers. Yes, you know more than we do about subject x – that’s why we hired you! But our job is to understand the big picture and fit your puzzle piece in exactly right. The lawyers should train you to do your deposition and trial testimonies appropriately. We typically co-wrote expert reports with the expert witness. Often sitting in the same room with the page projected on a screen. We wanted the expert signed off on every single word and did not want to introduce any factual errors. But we also didn’t want to lose control over the report or leave too much work for the experts.

      I mostly really enjoyed working with expert witnesses because they were so smart and knowledgeable. Hope you enjoy your experience.

    6. Answering only the question that was asked. Answering in such a way that makes you seem knowledgeable and willing to help but not a bitch (this is female expert witness specific). Not letting opposing counsel get under your skin. And most of all, good prep from your attorney.

      Source: am expert witness

    7. Have the attorneys explain a little bit about the legal standard for you. Not to sway your opinion but to help you choose the language you use to say the same thing. For example, in personal injury cases, the standard is more probably than not, preponderance of the evidence, over 50%.

      If the expert says “could have caused” or “might have caused” it’s not good enough unless it’s over 50%. You might be thinking it is 75% likely but you wouldn’t know to say “more likely than not” over “might have caused.”

  5. anyone here work in real estate or have real estate knowledge and any idea as to when this bubble will burst? or is this is just what the real estate market is going to be like from here on out?

    1. If people knew when the bubble was going to burst, there wouldn’t be a bubble. Everyone with the insider knowledge would have flooded the market already in trying to get out.

    2. Another question… what do you think of the condo market in the dmv area? I’ve been thinking maybe it’s not such a hot market compared to houses, but others I’ve chatted with don’t agree.

      1. DC prices are pretty insulated from market downturns because this whole area is propped up by the federal government, so unless something happens there, DC prices won’t sag. Identical units to my two bedroom condo in Alex I bought in 2016 for $325 and sold in 2018 for $350 are going for $400 now.

      2. I would agree that it’s not as hot as the house market, but it’s still hot. It did take a bit of a hit last year when people realized that living in buildings with communal amenities during a pandemic isn’t the best thing in the world, but it has picked back up. There is still simply a lot of demand for housing in the DC area, and condos make up a large segment of the available housing stock. You’re not going to find any bargains out there anytime soon.

      3. I just bought my condo in May in NW, and it got at least 3 offers after 24 hours on the market, they canceled the open house, and my offer was accepted 48 hours after listing. It also went for 30k over asking price (to be fair, they priced low, but it still escalated quite a bit). And I’m not even in a very hip neighborhood! The condo market isn’t nearly as insane as the house market, but that’s because the house market is just off the charts right now. I do also see condos sitting on the market for a while or going at/slightly below list price as well, but those are generally smaller/basement units.

      4. People in DC condos are fleeing for the suburbs now, so it’s softer than it’s been in a while. Historically DC has a very robust entry-level-buyer cohort, and that’s likely to continue though maybe not as strongly as in the past. DC has always been a city with strong jobs for people in their 20s, many of whom stay. It was one of the few cities that fared decently (not well, but decently, esp closer in) during the last recession.

        IMO a bubble doesn’t exist right now because demand outstrips supply substantially, and that’s without factoring in the demographics over the next 5-10 years as more millenials start buying homes. The conservative estimate is that the country is short 3M homes nationwide, but that shortage will increase since prices have kept homebuilding lower than it should be this year.

      5. Just sold a condo in DC (closed two weeks ago). Not as hot as homes, but think it’s dependent on size + outdoor areas as there’s so much variance in condos.

    3. No one knows, because we have never experienced a pandemic-related housing market.

      Personally, I would not buy a house right now unless I absolutely positively had to. If I didn’t own a home, I would continue renting.

      1. Right — if I could just sell, I’d sell now (like selling a house of a person going into assisted living or selling an investment property). But if I sold a house I was living in, I’d need to buy and there is nothing feasible to buy now (and I’d be scared of not having a place to move to). Rentals in my city are geared to 20ish recent grads in sprawling apartment complexes and IDK what you do if you are far outside that demographic (like almost old enough to get in a 55 or better community but we have kids in school still). For my city, people are leaving the northeast and moving here (perhaps originally from our state), so we weren’t keeping up with population growth from before the pandemic and are getting crushed. If you have small construction projects, you are probably waiting a long time to get a company interested in the work.

        1. Same. Houses that are objectively worse than mine are selling for far more than I paid. There is just not a lot of inventory where I live.

          In my region, there was also a big change in how people view the various school districts. The left-leaning school districts stayed closed WAY too long. The right-leaning districts opened with no pandemic precautions whatsoever, and some are now in a CRT panic. Purple districts like mine (opened early with masks and cohortimg) are incredibly popular. There are just not enough houses on sale for all the people who want to move into this district.

          1. Another covert attempt at bashing teachers, I see. God forbid workers were too cautious/afraid to work unprotected in the middle of a global pandemic.

    4. I was talking to a family friend who is a realtor who said the bubble has already burst (at least locally). In the last few weeks, the market has returned to what it looked like pre-pandemic.

      1. where do you live? we just lost out on a house this weekend that went for 100k over asking. is that just the new normal?

        2. There’s often a strategy of setting an artificially low listing price to generate lots of interest and multiple bids, so over asking doesn’t really mean much.

          I once lost out on a house when I was the only bidder and offered asking price.

          1. How does that work? My rudimentary understanding of contract law is if they made an offer and you accepted it, they had to sell it or pay a penalty.

          2. There are usually other terms that could be rejected – contingencies like appraisal, financing, inspection, etc.

          3. To 12:36 I don’t really know. Could we have sued them to sell us the house at asking? Maybe. My realtor said their realtor was unethical and we all decided to move on.

          4. Listing the house is not itself the offer. People list the house for sale and price it at whatever they are hoping to get, but it’s the buyer who are making the offer and then the seller can accept the highest offer the seller receives (or not accept any offer).

          5. There was no accepted offer. Anon made an offer to buy, which the seller did not accept. They were probably hoping for a higher offer, or one with fewer/different contingencies, etc. There are no grounds to sue or have the seller pay a penalty unless the reason they didn’t accept Anon’s offer was something like not wanting to sell to someone of Anon’s race.

      2. Philly area. They said they haven’t seen the bidding wars, over asking offers, or houses being snatched up within a day or two since the end of May. Another friend just bought a house after 6+ months of being outbid on everything. Might be hyper local, but looks like it’s calming down here.

        1. Maybe in your specific ‘burb but that is not the case in a lot of them. We have a few sets of friends house-hunting and one of them is on like her 15th offer.

          1. Just relaying what friends have told me! I’m a renter in the city but the relator friend said they’ve seen a huge shift in the last few weeks. They’ve been a realtor for 30 some years, so I trust their judgement.

        2. I live on the main line and everything here is still selling immediately. It seems like people are putting houses on the market on Monday and review/accept offers at the end of the weekend to maximize the amount they’re getting. My neighbors just did that.

          1. Yeah we tried making an all cash offer on a house in Montgomery County two weeks ago and were told that after their one open house they had so many offers they weren’t accepting more. It was on the market for two days

        1. Yea, this doesn’t feel like a bubble more like a permanent increase. None of the conditions underscoring the prior housing bubbles are really relevant here. There’s no reason to think that demand is going to decrease any time soon given the plethora of buyers with enough cash on hand for a down payment, stable jobs, often two, who can pay above asking price and often cash fund the difference if the house doesn’t appraise out. We aren’t talking about buyers who are buying investment properties with no cash down and no stable income like in 08. Supply isn’t going to catch up for a few years if ever.

      4. I live in Oklahoma City and a family member who is a realtor is seeing the bubble burst slowly. Homes that are fully renovated and modern are still going very quickly, but older homes are taking a little longer now.

    5. It’s hard to say, and it depends on the area. For example, in my area, prices are up about 20% from pre-pandemic levels for single family homes. The question is– is it now 20% better to live in my area? And I think for many people, the answer is yes because of fundamental shifts in working from home, which has meant many city dwellers are re-locating to MCOL cities. Our area also didn’t experience as hard of a slump in ’09 due to similar forces (higher income families relocating for lower cost of living). i do think you’ll see a rebound in cities when some realize the WFH life isn’t for them, but it just depends on the area.

    6. Sorry to say, the “bubble” in the DC area will not burst in a way that significantly lowers prices. The housing market here has been very hot and uncomfortable for buyers for most of the past 40 years. From time to time there are periods where things cool down a little, and multiple bidders/escalation clauses/waived inspections become uncommon, but that’s about as good as it gets. If you need to buy a house, buy what you can afford, knowing you won’t have a ton of choices and the process will be about making a compromise between affordability/location/features etc. You will probably spend a bit more than you originally intended to. OTOH, you will probably find that your starter house will appreciate in value, and between that and increases in your income over time, you’ll eventually be able to consider buying something “better”. Good luck!

      1. What happened in 2008-2009 in the same area? I don’t think it’s true that any area can “never” go down.

        1. It pretty much plateaued for a bit, then continued its upward trajectory. I don’t think the DC area housing market is immune from going down, but it just hasn’t experienced housing crashes the way other parts of the country have. We’ve been in a steep seller’s market for the entire 15 years I’ve lived in this area.

        2. Prices in most of dc didn’t decrease in 2008-09. There was little to no growth, but not a decrease.

          1. This. In a few communities there were more foreclosed properties available, but there wasn’t an area-wide decrease in prices such that people regretted not waiting to buy.

          2. This. The historic statistics are skewed because 30-45 minutes out suffered bad declines and technically they are still part of the broad metropolitan area, but the inner core (DC and first ring suburbs) were essentially flat.

    7. I don’t think it will really burst in places like the Bay Area or Seattle where there is a very strong, high-paying tech economy anchoring things, but I think it’ll burst within the year for most other cities and towns that are overinflated right now due to people emerging from the pandemic.

    8. I think things are starting to calm down a little – at least in the Houston, TX, area. We sold our house (got above asking) and are now renting. We were looking to buy but things were just nuts (you’ve all heard the stories). We’re still going to buy within a year (hopefully) and are still actively looking at houses. In the last few months, houses had offers within a day of listing, but now I’m seeing houses on the market for 30+ days that are still available. Obviously it depends on the area, but things are very different than the were even a month ago. Maybe there’s more inventory since it’s summer? Who knows…it’s just a welcome sight.

    9. If this isn’t a bubble, but rather a new normal, how do you all think this will impact the non-housing market economy? It’s inconceivable that people can continue to spend on other goods, services, etc. if housing, which was already a huge portion of most people’s spending, is up 20%+.

      1. A couple things– a 20% increase in purchase price doesn’t perfectly reflect a 20% increase in the monthly spending; it could mean that a family is getting 20% less house for their money now. Or, those costs could be distributed differently across the length of the mortgage and the interest rate (or if they came from renting, nominally a mortgage can be cheaper). Personally, I think we’re seeing a big inflationary push right now. I don’t know how it’ll turn out, but the low interest rate is definitely causing it. Big banks and major companies are also snapping up smaller homes, so I think we’ll see an increase of wealth inequality.

        1. Also low mortgage rates mean that 20% higher purchase price could map out to 10% higher monthly expenses

      2. A friend went to go negotiate a new car lease, as her current one is expiring. The dealer said that cars are going for over sticker price. That’s certainly something I never expected to see in my lifetime. Then again, plywood is $100 a sheet right now. It’s inconceivable.

        2. My husband has a 2011 F-150 and could sell it right now for $10k-$15k over what he paid for it. We have seriously considered it but he would still need a replacement vehicle and even “economy” cars cost about as much as his old truck is worth these days. He’s also 6’7″ and doesn’t fit in regular sized sedans.

        4. Used car inventory is low for and new car production is slowed due to supply chain issues, among others. Cars over all are priced higher than they *should* be but as always are worth what someone will pay for them! My friends sold a broken BMW they both hated back to Carmax for $3k over what they owed on it last week and are buying a 2021 Mazda for 0% APR.

    10. I work in an adjacent industry and there are a lot of macroeconomic factors here. Housing shortages, lumber and raw material prices, low interest rates, and so on. New construction is booming right now, but there is a several month lag due to shutdowns last year. There are also shortages of almost all housing products from shingles to insulation because the manufacturers can’t keep up with demand.
      I personally think the bubble will begin to deflate very soon. Lumber prices are starting to drop. People are being priced out of the market or becoming frustrated with the lack of inventory. I also think that home buying will continue to be very competitive in certain areas, but not as bad as it is now.
      I would not buy a house now if I didn’t absolutely have to. Agree with others though that it is a great time to sell if you have somewhere else to go. A near identical home in our neighborhood sold for over $100k more than we paid for ours a couple years ago.

    11. A house near me just sold for $410,000 over the asking price. The asking price was $1.9M, but still.

      Escalations of a quarter million or more are fairly common in my zip code, which is in the Seattle metro area. My agent’s office newsletter claims that median prices are up ~40% YoY. I bought last year, and could not be more grateful.

      1. I’m in the Bay Area. Friends just bought a house listed for $1.4 mm. They paid $2.4 mm and were competing against all-cash offers.

        2. Yep, 1M over asking and all cash/no contingencies is the new norm in the Bay Area.

          1. Bay Area reader here and no, $1M over asking isn’t the new norm here. It’s still newsworthy when that happens, which is exactly twice, I believe. All cash and no contingency is definitely a big norm though.

          2. There is no way my friends’ house was a “once out of twice” occurrence. It just happened within the last month, and no, it did not make the news. It’s not even a super fancy house.

    12. I do, on the commercial side, but similar dynamics. This question is SO market dependent. You need to be more specific in your question. Price point also matters. There is more liquidity and competition for starter-to-mid homes vs higher end luxury. The exact price point of those homes varies by market, naturally.

      I do believe that when rates go up, things will slow down – a TOUCH – but I really don’t believe in this concept of “wait for the bubble to burst” in most markets. Rates going up will cause the fringe buyers to recede. But the all-cash offers don’t depend on debt, so it will have no impact there. So instead of 15 offers you get 8 or 10, say? I think there is some real permanence to what’s going on out there, which is admittedly problematic in so many ways.

      I bought my house in 2015 in greater Boston and hated myself for it because it was said to be the peak of the market. As a real estate professional I kept saying to myself “you know better than this!!!” but we really wanted/needed/could afford it so we did it. It kept me up a night for a long time post closing. Now, six years later, we could sell tomorrow for close to a $200k profit (at least).

  6. Guys, please hit me up with Seattle restaurant recommendations. We’re vegetarian but not vegan. No fish either. We like Italian, Indian, Thai, Mexican, Greek, Turkish, Middle Eastern etc. But open to other cuisines.

    Thanks in advance.

    1. Where will you be staying, and how will you want to get around? Lyft and Uber are expensive right now so we may want to focus on your neighborhood.

    2. Ooink Ramen – I’m an omnivore but they have a couple of vegetarian/vegan options. Went with my cousin & her husband, they both work in the restaurant industry and liked this place.
      Stateside – I ended up going here 3 times during my 1 week visit to Seattle a couple years ago. Also right next to the Starbucks Reserve Roastery.
      Pasta Casalinga in Pike Market (the one that’s often recommended is Il Corvo but they shut down during the pandemic)

    4. The blogger isn’t active anymore, but check out Daily Garnish for Seattle vegetarian restaurant recommendations. I tried some of the places she recommended and they were all good.

    5. Biscuit B*tch for breakfast, love their Hot Mess with veg sausage. They have a downtown location and also a Belltown location, both are great.

    6. I assume you’re traveling into town rather than a resident looking to refresh their list? If so, I find the majority of Seattle restaurants to have solid vegetarian/vegan options. In case you don’t get a lot of suggestions here, know that if you’ll almost certainly have options at generally highly rated restaurants.

      That said, I like the restaurants in the Marination family depending on what area of town you’re in (Super Six, Ma Kai, etc.), Chandala Thai (Columbia City station) is great, Bang Bang Kitchen (Othello station) has great veg/vegan options, but is more New Mexico than Mexican. Food trucks are always a great bet – Roll Pod and Naansense are my favorite for Indian food.

    7. I lvoe Taste of India on Roosevelt in the University District, as well as Cedar’s, also in the U District, same ownership. Delicious.

    9. +1 to Cafe Flora and Walnut’s comment that Seattle as a city is very vegetarian and vegan friendly
      Greek: Omega Ouzeri in Capitol Hill, Niko’s Gyros (magnolia or beacon hill), Cafe Turko (Fremont), Petra in Belltown or to go in Denny Triangle, Cafe Munir in Ballard
      Middle eastern: Mamnoon in CapHill for sit down or to go in Denny Triangle
      Indian: Annapurna in CapHill, Kastoori Grill near Pike Place market (my favorite, a total hole in wall…used to love their lunch buffet pre pandemic/WFH)

      Also, check out any of our many many Ethiopian restaurants too. Very veggie friendly! Lots to choose from but check out Ras Dashen in Central District and Cafe Ibex in Beacon Hill. My fav dishes are Gomen (braised greens), anything Wat (lentils) and fosolia (green beans and carrots)

  7. Is there a known time of year to buy window treatments, like how mattresses are on sale during President’s Day? I’m looking online at wooden blinds and seeing 4th of July sales, but having not tracked standard prices I have no idea if they’re actually a bargain, or a “pump the price and fake a discount” situation, like Prime Day.

    1. Where are you buying them from? I’ve ordered from blinds.com in the past, and it seems like they have a promotion at every major holiday.

      1. I’m been looking at basically all the major retailers that come up when you search “wooden blinds.” I don’t feel loyalty to any particular brand since I just want basic white wood 2-inch slats.

        1. Do they need to actually be wood? I think most people use faux wood, and you can get those anywhere for a really reasonable price.

  8. Heading back into the online dating world – it’s been awhile. Any recs for what to wear on a date? I usually do just a drink in the evening (sometimes a coffee on the weekend) for the first meet-up. I’m mid-30s and in DC.

    If anyone wants to virtually shop for me (I need help!), I’m 5’6, pear shape, usually a size 8. Tend to go for more classic looks, ie jeans and a cute top- but jeans get pretty hot in summer! I have no idea what to buy or where to look…

    2. The banana republic jumpsuit is perfect. I am your size/shape and it is very flattering. SO MUCH more comfortable than jeans for the summer. I got navy. You could make it casual for daytime coffee, or wear with a bit of jewelry/cute shoes or sandals for an evening drink.

    3. My style probably is not your style, so this may not be very helpful.

      Linen pants and a tunic or nice t shirt
      Swishy knee length skirt and a cute top
      Sundress and big floppy hat for outdoor dining

    4. I think people wear dresses much more than when we were younger. I’d focus on casual dresses.

        1. Not really – early Y2K going out looks was all about jeans and a “going out” top. People did wear dresses out but not much.

          1. +1 — even in summer. All my college pics are low-slung jeans, a dramatic belt, super pointy heels, and a silky cami.

          3. Same. I guess airing out our abdomens and low backs cooled us down enough even in the summer. And heck, if we did get cold there were so many teeny tiny useless scarves we could wear, or those crocheted shrugs! Ah man, this is why I do NOT understand why the teenagers want 90s and aughts fashion to come back around…

        2. OP here- Agreed, I rarely wore dresses going out in college / my twenties, it was always jeans and a top. Nearly all my dresses are for work or are for nicer events (weddings etc)

        3. That”s my question too! I’ve always been a heavy sundress wearer in the summer, but maybe that was just me?

        5. There have been eras when dresses were less in style. The going-out outfit of the late 90s/early aughts was darkwash bootcut jeans worn with a silky camisole and heels.

          When I was a kid just growing into women’s sizes, there was an occasion I needed a dress for and none of the two department stores in my small hometown had a single dress. This was late 70s. I remember it vividly as we had to go to an expensive boutique in a neighboring larger city and my mom was pretty steamed about it. During that fashion era, jeans and pants were everything.

    5. I’d wear a breezy sundress. Check out vineyard vines, Reformation, the Hill House Nap Dress collection (some are more flirty than others like I probably would not opt for the ones that look like actual nightgowns)…

      1. Thanks for the store recs – I had not thought of reformation or vineyard vines. Good options at both!

  9. I can attest that the beach shops are not all open b/c of the lack of help in the Hamton’s. I wanted to buy a new hat, but the shop was closed “no staff” they said. I would have worked there if I were a college kid–lots of cute women walking around to meet, tho many 40 something men are just chasing the 19 year old women, not us. I hope I don’t have to start in with 50 and 60 somethings, b/c they have kids my age and that would be weird for me to be having s-x with men like that. The manageing partner’s brother is even older and he wants to have s-x with me, but I did not want to stay at the manageing partner’s home b/c he would be grabbing at my batheing suit in the pool like he did in 2019. I don’t need that. FOOEY!

  10. I am in NYC and off work this week…looking for a hotel with a luxurious relaxing pool that will let me buy a day pass for maybe $100, any day this week, any hotel in any neighborhood.

    I know this may be a long shot but…any suggestions? I’ve seen lists online but none of them seem to actually show day passes available when I click through. I’d consider an overnight stay at one of these hotels to get access to the pool if the rate was good, but not at $500.

    1. Not sure if the TWA Hotel pool is open but they definitely cater to short stays, and when we stayed a basic room was around $200-250? Really fun experience.

    2. The 1 Hotel Brooklyn Bridge has a nice rooftop pool and from my (albeit very quick) googling, it looks like a night there is under $400 this week.

      I do not know of any hotels that are allowing day passes for a pool right now. That doesn’t mean they don’t exist though! Hopefully someone else has other recs.

    5. Not a hotel but you might check t o see if Chelsea Piers is doing day passes – their pool is beautiful. It is indoors though.

    6. Clearly not the vibe you’re looking for but what about trying an outdoor public pool on a weekday right when it opens? (guessing it’s the least crowded then).

      1. The thing is, you aren’t allowed to bring almost anything on the deck with you other than maybe a book and a towel. There’s minimal seating, lots of screaming….I have a kid and we can barely get to the public pools here. They are just such a PITA. That said, the pool at Asser Levy Rec center seems to be relatively uncrowded on weekdays in the late afternoon.

  11. Question for exempt employees who don’t have a prescribed start and stop time to their workday. Does anyone else sometimes sleep in late if you don’t feel well rested in the morning? I sometimes wake up with a pre-migraine and sleep in late to try to cull it. Like until 11 if no one is calling me or I have no urgent emails. This is one of those things that started during the pandemic and I’ve totally lost my sense of what’s normal. My colleagues all seem to start working at 8am because that’s when the emails start coming in, I just don’t have the drive to wake up and start working that early.

    1. I’m not a morning person. Pre-pandemic, I used to come in around 10. I’m happy to work late as needed. But my company doesn’t care about hours so long as your work gets done.

    2. Full-time WFH has wreaked havoc on my sleep and work schedule. I have to get up around 7:30/8 to take kids to school, but I frequently crawl back into bed after or take a mid-day nap, which of course makes it harder for me to sleep at the right time at night. Then since I didn’t get my work done in the day, I have to work at night after my kids are in bed and feel like I have no time to relax and unwind. It’s the thing I hate most about WFH and I wish I were going back to an office but unfortunately I’m not. In case it isn’t obvious, I have very few meetings and no one really cares what hours I work as long as the work gets done.

    3. You know your workplace better than we do. If people are consistently trying to reach you in the mornings and you’re not responding, that could be a problem. If you’re missing meetings, that could be a problem. But otherwise I think you’re fine.

      1. +1, this would not be an issue at my workplace. Unfortunately, my body will wake up at 6:30 no matter what, so I have said goodbye to sleeping in.

    4. No, my version of that is sleeping an extra 2 hours after my alarm, skipping the workout, and rolling to my desk for 9-9.30, then making breakfast after logging in. The joy of working from home! (Normally my alarm goes off around 6.50 for me to workout, shower, wash my hair, and have breakfast before 9am).

    5. I don’t have a set start/stop time but there is presumed availability between “core hours,” which are 10-4. You’re expected to work more than that, but those are the core hours we’re supposed to generally be available.

      I would only caution you that sleeping until 11 might seem foreign to some colleagues. I have young kids and am up at 6 seven days a week (ugh), I haven’t slept past 9 in probably a decade, and I haven’t slept until 11 since I was in 25. None of which is a problem in terms of availability (necessarily), but I’d be reluctant to admit to being asleep if someone “catches” you away during that window since people tend to judge sleeping more harshly than some other things.

      1. Agree. If others notice or might notice your absence, I would expressly say that you felt a migraine coming on, were “laying down” until it passed, and will make up the hours (or just use PTO if you have enough).

    6. I would give my team a heads up with “Woke up with a migraine- I’ll respond to email/messages this afternoon.”

      If there are meetings during the morning, I’ll arrange to have someone cover me or request a reschedule. Usually I’ll work late to cover the hours/missed work or end up taking PTO after the fact if I don’t.

    7. Yes, I do this. For me, this is one of the huge benefits of WFH. I have sleep issues and have been healthier since being able to sleep in when needed. My company is also getting better/smarter work out of me.

    8. Yes. I get my work done. I often don’t start until 10. If I’m not feeling well or I didn’t sleep well, I sleep in. If I get to my hours every pay period, and I’m not missing meetings or letting things drop, no one cares when I start. YMMV.

    9. That is the normal work schedule of a lot of scientists in academia!

      For your migraines, you probably know that sleeping the same schedule every night is best to prevent migraines, so if you like your current schedule and it works in your work place, why not?

      But if you want to shift it, just start with low dose melatonin at night, good sleep hygiene, getting up at the same time every morning with early sunlight (morning walk/run etc…) or breakfast next to a happy light and you can switch your schedule.

  12. It is hot and we don’t have AC and there are no fans within a 200 mile radius. All of the windows are already open. Does anyone who lives somewhere warm regularly have tips for how I don’t melt? Office is closed so can’t go in.

    1. Mall, movie theater, turn your lights off, lower the blinds especially on the sunny side of the house, lots of ice, loose clothes. Order a fan on prime.

    2. Drink ice water. Take a cold shower. If there is a breeze, sit outside. if you are desperate, sit in your air conditioned car to work.

      My garage is usually the coldest place in the house if the AC isn’t on. If you have one, try working from there.

      And if you really need a break from the heat, go into a store to cool off. Malls, library, etc.

    3. Do you have window units or portable AC units?
      We don’t have central/forced AC, but leave the windows closed with the blinds and curtains shut. We let the window units do their thing.

    5. Do NOT open the windows unless it is cooler outside than inside.

      Look to Lowes for window A/C units. Buy one. Buy a window fan online or at a place like Lowes. The big-box stores are really good at shipping units around the country to meet local demand. If you go the window fan route: when it is cooler outside than inside, open a window that is on the opposite end of the house from the one the fan is in. Crank the fan and let the cross-ventilation do its work. Do not have every window open and wonder why the fan isn’t cooling things down, or one window open, or window fans in several rooms all pointing inward. Remove fan in the morning.

      Today, go to a coffee shop or the mall to get work done. Take a cool shower in the middle of the day.

    7. Grew up in a hot / very muggy area without AC. Before bed, I used to get ice and rub it all over myself and then put ice in a washcloth and sleep with that on me.

    8. An old trick from the Deep South is for momentary relief hold an iced drink against your wrist. Also if it is cooling off at night open all the windows and set an alarm before dawn to get up and close the windows and the curtains/shades. Sad, minders day caveat: the safety of doing that is entirely dependent on the crime rate in your area.

        1. I find that, in addition to wrists and neck, rubbing ice on my ears helps. I guess I am part elephant.

          Also you could do the thing where you soak a bandana in cold water, wring it out, and out that on your neck.

    9. Keep the blinds closed all day, windows closed when it’s hotter outside than inside, open when it’s cooler outside than inside. Go outside at night when it starts to cool off. Sleep as close to outside as you can, whether that means on your porch or right next to an open window, even if that means moving furniture. Don’t turn on unnecessary lights or large appliances. Stay hydrated. Wash your sheets and air dry them in doorways, which will involve trying to find some way to string them across. Visit movie theaters and a/c stores during the hottest part of the day.

    10. Open windows more at night, close them more during the day, blinds down. Sit in a cold tub, take a cold shower several times a day. Do NOT cook anything even on top of your range if you can help it. Cold washcloth on the back of your neck. Hair up and off your face. If you do have even one fan sleep with it blowing right on you. Nap during the hottest part of the day to avoid movement.

    11. – Open your windows on the shady side of the house
      – If you live in a multi-story, open a window at the lowest point and one at the highest point to create a “chimney” as the warm air escapes out the top as cool air comes in from the bottom
      – Keep damp cloths in the fridge/freezer and apply at the back of your neck/inside of your wrists
      – sit in a cool bath and run cool water over your forehead
      – Stay hydrated!!!!!!

      It might be cooler outside in the shade.

    12. Soak your feet in a tub of cool water. Keep a spray bottle nearby and mist yourself with it.

    13. im in portland! freeze wet wash cloths and put them around your neck – cools me off instantly.

    14. Do you have a basement or a room that’s built over a concrete slab? It should stay cooler there, concrete is a heat sink.

    15. Ice water and popsicles, cold showers and tepid baths, anything to keep your core temperature down. If you’re in the PNW where it’s truly dangerously hot right now, prioritize safety from the heat over anything on your to-do-list.

    16. These are all good tips, but I’d also recommend checking FB marketplace and Craigslist for fans or AC. Or order one off Amazon- better to have one a few days from now then not at all this summer. You can get a nice unit with the tube thing (if you have windows that dont work for an in-window AC) for around $200.

      1. I will tell you from past Bay Area heat waves, it is impossible to get a new or used AC during a heat wave because everyone has the same idea. Last fall even Amazon shipping was 14 days out due to demand, and they just laughed at me at Home Depot.

    17. put your feet in a bucket of water, freeze moist towels and then put them around your neck (experiment with how moist and how long to freeze, I’ve had them go all solid and it took an hour for them to soften enough to actually place on my neck).

    18. There are pearl-like necklaces and bracelets that are for menopause/hot flashes because you put them in the freezer and then wear them. Amazon had some last time I looked.

    19. Late addition, but I don’t see it mentioned below: drink water at some point every waking hour! Not to stay cool, but because you really really need to. It’s the dehydration that is your biggest health risk.

  13. I lost my favorite necklace, anyone want to help me find a replacement? It was the MM LaFleur Asscher Cut necklace in gold. It was literally perfect but is out of stock and I can’t find anything even remotely similar anywhere.

    This is why I can’t have nice things!

    5. Vrai and Oro carries a similar style, but it’s more expensive since it’s a (lab simulated) diamond. Mejuri, Ana Luisa, and Aurate are good places to look for similarly simple, classic pieces.

  14. The WHO is saying that fully vaccinated people should continue to wear masks due to the risks posed by the Delta variant. I was already doing that because of a high-risk condition, but this is pretty scary. I would estimate that about 40% of people in my area are still wearing masks at the grocery store, but it’s not required. What are you all seeing?

    1. Everyone is wearing masks where I live but we still have a mask mandate despite having some of the highest vaccination rates in the world. I’m happy with it.

      2. This whole “where I live, they do x” without identifying where is so tiresome. Why couldn’t you just have said the location in the first place?

      1. It depends on the type of high-risk condition, of course. If you’re high-risk due to age, BMI, or smoking habits, that’s different from being high-risk due to an organ transplant or immune deficiency, which affect your body’s ability to produce immunity to COVID.

        1. +1 Definitely depends on the kind of high risk. My dad has a lot of risk factors (early 70s, obese and high blood pressure) and his doctors are not worried about him and have advised him to get back to normal life (including travel) now that he’s fully vaccinated. But being in chemo or having an organ transplant or something like that is different because your body may not react appropriately to the vaccine.

        2. I should have clarified. Severe idiopathic heart and lung disease, not obese, not a smoker, slightly old — but below the cut off of high risk for age. My immune system is not compromised, but there was thought to be minimal chance I would survive Covid if I caught it, and at best, I would be in an ICU for a prolonged period. I was one of the posters here who was roundly criticized for some of the precautions that I was taking, all of which were recommended by my medical team.

          1. I don’t think you would’ve been “roundly criticized” if you had specified that you were taking precautions specifically prescribed by your medical team due to your unique risk factors. People here criticized those who said everyone should live in a bubble. And people also criticized those who said they wanted to do things like attend an immediate relative’s funeral or ask mom and dad to help with childcare a few days a week or send their kids back to school when schools opened. So, no you weren’t criticized any more than anyone else was.

    4. Keep in mind that the WHO’s recommendation takes into account that a lot of people around the world have not received mRNA vaccines, which are holding up strongly against the Delta variant, but rather have received vaccines with much lower effectiveness. Mask wearing is plummeting in my highly-vaccinated area, but I feel pretty good about my Pfizer vaccine, so I’m not going to borrow trouble right now.

      1. The WHO is also not just the US. There are lots of countries where vaccination % are much lower because they just got the vaccines.

        1. This. Under 5% vaccinated in Australia due to a useless federal government not ordering enough vaccines.

      2. (I continue to wear masks in grocery stores, but happily eat indoors at bars and restaurants sans mask — so it feels kind of arbitrary tbh. I mostly wear masks in grocery stores to avoid dirty looks).

        1. I think anyone who shoots dirty looks at unmasked people inside should have their “I believe in science” signs confiscated….

          1. How so? You can’t tell whether unmasked people are vaccinated or not and believing in the science also means tracking new information about variants (or otherwise) that poses more risk than originally believed (why is it that “following the science” is only leading towards more reopening and fewer restrictions, even in areas with very low vaccination rates?). That being said, dirty looks never did much anyway.

          2. Because they’re presuming people aren’t vaccinated. If you’re vaccinated, it is fine to be inside without a mask. Says science. If you want to continue to wear one, absolutely fine, but dirty looks are unacceptable at this point.

          3. That makes no sense, anon. You don’t know if unmasked people are unmasked because they were dutifully vaxed and believe in science, or if they are unmasked because they were the kinds of anti-mask losers in the first place who have no intention of ever getting the vax.

          4. 30% of people in my state are fully vaccinated so yeah I will look askance at all the unmasked people in the grocery store because I know 70% of them should still be in masks. That’s not anti-science, it’s just math. And from talking to people I know, it definitely seems like the handful of people who are still wearing masks are actually all vaccinated. I don’t know anyone who refused the vaccine who is continuing to wear a mask except in situations where it’s legally required and there are serious consequences for not complying (i.e., airplanes). I’m jealous of everyone who lives in places where the majority of adults are vaxxed, but that’s not the reality for many of us in the US despite the overall relatively high vaccination rate here.

          5. Maybe just be grateful that you can go without a mask without having to worry about people you love who aren’t eligible to be vaccinated and now can’t safely go most indoor places. I’m sick of people who basically get to live their normal lives criticize those of us who aren’t as lucky and still have to worry about liars ditching their masks. I have young kids, and I can take them fewer places now than I could at the peak of the pandemic. Oh but now I also get dirty looks for wearing a mask or putting one on them! Yay! Maybe people aren’t anti-science so much as anti-liars, anti-anti-vaxxers, and anti-complete lack of social support for families with young kids (going on 15 months).

          7. Anon @3:06 — when someone has to explain to another adult that they are not the only person on Earth, it’s not the suffering Olympics, it’s just another depressing day around this s1te. I’m sorry that you had to be taught empathy or compassion on a fashion webs1te.

    5. My doc told me (vax’d) not to go in to the office (where vax is encouraged, but not required, but it’s open seating). If I go in, I’m to mask up all day. I’m past treatment, but still. Frankly, what else would they say—sure go hang with unvaccinated unmasked people? I doubt that would happen. I hope time passes and the variants are not proven to be a threat and I get ability to go into the office in a month or so.
      For now I’m staying home, masking if indoors, and continuing to skip indoor restaurants. It stinks.

    7. I ditched the mask as soon as I was vaccinated. Too freakin’ hot to even consider it right now. I am not a scientist and certainly won’t judge other’s comfort levels, but I’m no more concerned about covid than I am the flu or other viruses right now.

      1. I’m not concerned about Covid for myself, having been vaxed (and not having any risk factors) but I do feel it’s just considerate to wear one inside when around people who have no choice but to be exposed, such as grocery store workers.

        1. +1! It just seems like common courtesy. Especially in places where there are young kids around.

        2. But why?? This is the anti-science I’m talking about. You’re not exposing anyone if you’re fully vaccinated.

          1. How do you not understand that the grocery store workers don’t know if we’ve been vaccinated or not? People who aren’t vaccinated are taking advantage of the new policies to go into stores unmasked.

          2. honestly fully vaccinated, non-high risk people wearing masks now comes off as virtue signaling. I have a friend (not high risk), who works in Pharma, who wears a mask every time she leaves her house, doesn’t do anything indoors, and still judges people who do anything less than her. It’s exhausting.

          3. I am not wearing a mask to virtue signal that I care. I am vaccinated because I care. If the grocery workers want to wear masks, fine, but the shade is insane and undeserved.

          4. But a vaccinated person wearing a mask does absolutely nothing to protect workers from unvaccinated people.

          5. No one is wearing a mask to virtue signal. That’s not a thing. If anything, many people who feel more comfortable wearing a mask are NOT doing it because they’re getting pressure not to look like anti-vaxxers.

          6. “How do you not understand that the grocery store workers don’t know if we’ve been vaccinated or not? People who aren’t vaccinated are taking advantage of the new policies to go into stores unmasked.”

            So, then, let’s be clear. You wear a mask even though you are vaccinated because you want to engage in an action that makes people (and yourself) feel better. It’s about feelings. Same thing with LaurenB, up there. The chances that a fully vaccinated person will spread the virus (even the Delta variant) to another fully-vaccinated person and get them sick is tiny. What LaurenB said about it’s “considerate” to wear one around “people who have no choice to be exposed” makes no sense. She’s vaccinated and is very unlikely to spread the virus (this is the SCIENCE, people; this is not about your feelings). If the grocery store workers are concerned about exposure, they should get vaccinated. Wearing masks everywhere when you are vaccinated is fine, I am fine with it, it’s everyone’s own choice. I don’t judge people for doing it. But let’s please acknowledge that is not a choice that is being made because of data and science. That choice is being made because of feelings. The same way that people who are anti-mask are making decisions based on feelings.

          7. “But a vaccinated person wearing a mask does absolutely nothing to protect workers from unvaccinated people.”
            Correct, and the unvaccinated people are the ones who pose the risk. Not the vaccinated. Wearing a mask when you’re vaccinated is largely performative. Do it if you feel like it; it’s not a big deal. I just want folks to acknowledge that. You will not keep yourself from getting sick by wearing a mask when you are vaccinated (you prevent yourself from getting sick by getting the vaccine). You do not help others when you wear a mask; the risk comes from the unvaccinated. If people really want to help curb the spread of Covid, please keep talking to your friends, neighbors and family members who have bought into conspiracy theories about the vaccine or who are “waiting to see what happens.” We need more people to get vaccinated, especially in states where the percentage is under 50%.

          8. @2:44 hits the nail on the head. If the workers are still wearing masks and using shields I wear a mask for their comfort. They don’t know if I’m vaccinated or not.

            At the same time, I am in no rush to stop wearing one in grocery stores and pharmacies because I have enjoyed not getting sick.

            I don’t wear one in a restaurant or park or things like that.

          9. The science is that wearing a mask will help keep me getting sick from other communicable diseases too. I don’t actually care if people in grocery stores can see my face, and I hate getting sick with so much as a head cold, so why would I ever stop wearing a mask, according to science?

          10. Our nation’s chief nursing officer said to wear masks even if vaccinated. Vaccines aren’t perfect and variants are dangerous.

      2. yup, once I was 2 weeks post vax (mid March for me), I became way less concerned. We had mask mandates here until June so I obviously kept wearing one but now that there’s no mandate and I’m vaccinated I don’t wear them (save for the handful of places that still require them).

        I worked at vaccination clinics all spring. By mid April we couldn’t pay people to get vaccinated. Truly, if anyone in my area wants a vaccine and is medically cleared to get it, they have had ample opportunity to get it. I no longer wear them in stores, etc. because I assume any employee who wanted a vaccine has gotten it.

        1. No children under the age of 12 are allowed to get the vaccine, no matter how much the parents want it. I don’t even care about FDA approval, I would give it to my kids off label, but I can’t. I feel like the whole world has just forgotten that children under 12 exist. And some of them do get seriously ill and die, despite popular belief. And the Delta variant reportedly hits kids harder. I don’t want my kid to die, so I can’t take her anywhere until sometime in 2022 when the vaccine is approved for her age group. Let’s please stop with the “anyone who wants a vaccine has been vaccinated.” The person I love most in the whole world hasn’t been and likely won’t be for another year and it f-cking s*cks.

          1. +100! The hardest lesson of this whole thing has been learning how truly self-centered Americans are.

    8. N. Va – masking is out the window. Maybe 30-40% of people are wearing them in stores – on the high end, sometimes it’s more like 20%. Oddly lots of KIDS below vaccine age are unmasked and I’ve heard parents say I won’t force them, it’s NBD etc. The other day I saw a 30 ish year old couple walk into Target masked and maybe 5 min into their grocery shopping they both took masks off right there in the store, probably as a reaction to other shoppers not masking. I live in a high rise apt building – people roam the elevators and hallways unmasked – a 20 something crowd.

      I’m not taking mine off any time soon – 40+ and heart issue; it’s worth it to me to have one more layer of protection whether we really need it or not. I still go to stores at off times, only curb side take out, and am outside as much as possible — i.e. if I need to wait as my car is being serviced, I’m waiting outside not in the indoor waiting room with 80% of the other customers unmasked. Reality is there ARE people in America saying – I unmasked because CDC said it was ok and I caught it and my vaccinated coworker has covid too; it’s not an uncommon story. And we won’t know if there is another variant out there that breaks thru the vaccine more than Delta until AFTER it starts breaking thru. I know life is balancing risk, but for me, a mask is just easier. Just put the mask on and with that and your vaccine go where you want, don’t worry about others not masking etc.

      1. I was 100% with you until your last sentence. If you’ve got a family member (like anyone under 12) who can’t get vaccinated, there’s plenty to worry about and things are way harder now in a lot of ways. And I’m also in NoVa and seeing a lot of the same thing re kids. They’re obviously not vaccinated but going maskless everywhere now. As are lots of people who didn’t get vaccinated, no doubt. It’s been astounding to me how little people care about kids in this country. They’re not even on most people’s radars apparently.

        1. I think it is more that the data was that kids did not get severe COVID and didn’t spread it. I think some parents are thinking it’s no big deal if their kids get it and better to get it over with. I don’t agree with that sentiment but that’s the vibe I’m getting.

        2. As a parent I’m kinda exhausted by the “think of the children” posts about masks. I really don’t care about your mask, I really care very much that you get a vaccine. If you’re vaccinated the mask doesn’t do much, if you’re not, I’m going to assume any mask wearing is not done properly. People are who they are. I’m not going to get mad at people for not wearing a mask. The mask isn’t the problem, it’s the unvaccinated people.

          Also, as you note, many of the unmasked people are children. I assume most of them are doing so with their parents blessing. And I wager their parents care a great deal about them but are making a risk calculation. No, I’m not going to make my 3 year old wear a mask during an outdoor activity when it’s 90 degrees outside. Feel free to judge me but given that he was monitored 24/7 for the first three months of his life in the NICU I really don’t care what you think you know about my situation as a parent.

          1. I think there’s a huge difference between being masked on a outdoor playground vs being masked inside a Target, but you do you. I don’t have kids and could care less what kids and their parents do. I stay away from them as a general rule so whatever.

  15. A big thank you to the person who recommended Dillard’s for swimsuits on the weekend thread. I went there on Saturday, found a great selection and bought 3. I was the only customer in the swimsuit section, and I was out of there in less than an hour.

  16. Hi all,
    I’m looking for a new down comforter/duvet. I know it seems like the wrong season, but that’s why I’m shopping now, hoping for a sale. Do you have one you really like that I should check out? On a scale of 1-4 warmth-wise, where 4 is warmest, I am looking for about a 3.

      1. You’re the only other person I’ve ever seen mention Pacific Coast! I love their pillows but haven’t tried their duvets.

        Anyway to OP, I have tried a lot of duvets and used to be a down purist, but I’m actually loving my Buffy cloud comforter. It’s maybe a 2 on the warmth scale though, like you aren’t going to be cold but it’s not particularly going to warm you. I guess this isn’t an accurate response to the Q, I just love this duvet and think others should try it. XD

    2. I like mine from The Company Store. I have one of their mid-priced ones but dont recall the exact name.

      1. Agree – we get all ours from The Company Store. They have various weights and down/no down.

  17. Help me feel less bad about this and/or figure out how to make it less bad for my colleague. I am a senior associate considering an offer to go in-house. A partner I work with closely went out on maternity leave a week before I got the offer. I’m sure partner is not going to be completely checked out for months and months, but I am covering for her on a number of things, including ongoing matters with a few years of history where I’m the only other person with the big picture, and matters where there are few if any people on our team who have the skill set or background to step into my role without her getting more involved while on leave. I know that the answer is that if the job is right for me, I need to leave and let them muddle along, but I’m trying to figure out if I can improve this situation around the edges, e.g., by taking a longer transition period than I would have otherwise (not even sure this is a thing — I guess once I accept I should immediately give notice, and everyone will probably want me out in 2 weeks?). I’m pretty sure my departure would be a surprise because we’ve all been making the noises about me getting promoted. I know I’m not irreplaceable, I just feel like a jerk because of the timing.

    1. Do it and don’t look back. I’d try and give 4 weeks notice if you can, do excellent transition memos, and live your life.

    2. This is not your problem. This is the problem of the firm. Do what is best for you. If your firm thought booting you out would save then money, they’d do it in a heartbeat, so don’t kid yourself about loyalty.

    3. Do not feel like a jerk. You can help by doing great transition memos on files (brief factual background, status, deadlines, key docs in file, what you’re waiting on, etc.). You should be prepared to have them walk you out that day OR beg you for a month notice.

      1. +1

        Also, you are now becoming a potential client. They will be kissing your a$$ for that reason.

    4. Not your problem. Do legwork before you leave to make sure transition is as easy as possible, then head out.

    5. I’m going to change from “Anon” to “Broken Record” because I am a broken record on this point.

      It is the job of upper management to ensure that no one is indispensable and to have transition planning in place. They are paid good money to do this. It’s not just people leaving for other jobs; people get sick, people die suddenly, people have to drop everything to be with dying family members, and people have accidents. Sometimes you find out that someone has been embezzling or has been sexually harassing his subordinates. It’s the job of the higher-ups who are getting paid obscene amounts of money to ensure that the clients’ needs are met regardless of internal staffing issues.

      I’m confused as to why you think everyone at your current firm would want you out within two weeks. If they do, but two weeks isn’t enough time to transition things over, why on earth would you turn yourself inside out protecting them from their own decisions? If your new company is willing to let you start in three or four weeks, offer the old firm that option.

      1. Maybe this is true of big companies, but that’s not really how law firms work. Law firms are more like associations of solo practitioners/small firms who share resources and expenses. It is not the firm’s job to figure out staffing for all of “its” clients, it’s the job of the originating attorney. You can pick your legal team, but it’s not as if everyone in the firm is on your team. Even in biglaw, clients have budgets, especially the clients that I’m likely to get as a partner who’s less than 15 years out of law school, I can’t have a 15 or even 5 attorney team for every matter. If I went on maternity leave and my go-to associate left, I would be taking over the work while on leave. There’s not some big conglomerate that’s going to bail me out. I don’t think OP should sacrifice her own opportunities, certainly, but I do think she should do her best to transition the work so the partner doesn’t have to completely give up her maternity leave. This is what women supporting each other looks like.

        1. I explicitly said that she should ask the new company for more than 2 weeks and make the offer to her current firm. Did you miss that?

    6. I agree that it isn’t your problem but I fully understand your concern, particularly as you have ethical duties to your clients. When senior attorneys at my firm leave they usually give 4 weeks notice. That allows time to transfer all the cases, notify all the clients, file the withdrawals / new appearances and work on any fires as they are transitioned. If, however, one is bringing the majority of their clients or were encouraged to leave, they usually work less than 2 weeks.

      If your new gig is open to it, 4 weeks notice is great because it let’s you lean way out at the end. If you can’t take a legit vacation a week of way less work is the next best thing.

      PS: thank you for asking this. I may be in similar shoes soon and I need to be reminded (thank you broken record) that I shouldn’t be loyal to a fault and I should do what’s best for me.

      1. Thanks for this and thanks to Anon a/k/a Broken Record above. I think I’ll ask at the new job if they can have me start in 4-6 weeks, and suggest 4 weeks to the powers that be in my firm, and it will be up to them to take me up on it. (The extra couple weeks would be vacation.)

        1. One other thought, if you are really the only person that can cover the leave, can you outsource to another firm that is billed through your firm? I have done this for other attorneys, usually solos. They have to take a month of medical leave, they assign cases that are within my practice area to me. I bill hourly. Their firm pays my firm my hourly rate and their client pays them for the expense … which is actually less than their hourly rate sometimes.

    7. I had people leave on my team at very inconvenient times, and I never took it personally and always wished them the best. It was my problem to deal with, not theirs. One of them really apologized profusely and I have a soft spot for that guy, but it’s not even necessary to apologize.

    8. I think with this scenario, you offer 4 weeks of notice. You say that they will want you out but if they do that’s their choice. Start now by writing memos, getting everything cleaned up. If they are smart, they’ll keep you for the 4 weeks and if not, you should feel no guilt. I’ve been in this situation and have offered 4 weeks notice. It’s usually not taken but at least I made the effort.

    9. One idea – my irreplaceable senior associate made a document summarizing the relevant issues in his one area of irreplaceability (kind of a checklist) and saved all relevant documents in a very organized fashion on the system (it was all available before, but he did it in a way that was easy to track). It was hugely helpful in the months after he left.

  18. Is it still possible to sell Ann Taylor and Banana clothing on Posh and EBay like you could a decade ago? I have gained about 30 lbs in my journey from 35 to 40 and am losing hope any of that will ever fit again. Is there a better place? Should I just donate it because there is no market for this stuff anymore?

    I feel guilty donating it, because there is probably thousands of dollars worth of almost new or new clothing there, and I do have some debt to pay off…

    2. It’s definitely possible but don’t expect to get much for it. Think, pricing for $10-25 per item.

    3. Yes, I still look at ebay and Poshmark for pieces from those stores. Just don’t mark it up too much or expect to near retail. I’d pay like $15 for a nice used wrap dress or like $30 for a new piece, but not a lot more.

    4. What about Threadup? My daughter was a Poshmark seller with some success and her advice is that for normal, non-trendy current clothes, Threadup is easier and more rewarding.

    5. If you’re talking seasons-old clothes you’re going to get, like, $20 max for each thing, I bet.

    6. Yeah, I wasn’t expecting to get retail for anything. I know I’d be lucky to clear $10 on the nicest things. But it is something.

  19. Does anyone have any recommendations for a physical therapist/PT practice located in DC (inside the district).

    1. The Centers for Advanced Orthopedics, on GW’s campus. I go twice a week after switching from another local practice that left much to be desired. I see both Dana and Rachel and would recommend either without hesitation.

  20. Have you ever bought a house when you weren’t looking?

    A house in our neighborhood that I’ve always been curious about is for sale. DH and I visited it yesterday just out of curiosity because we’ve always liked the exterior. And now? I can’t stop thinking about this house. Our house is more appealing in several ways, but there was just something about the feel of this one that I loved. Our current home is very energy efficient and space-efficient. This one is definitely roomier, and I’m guessing not as energy efficient. It had several nooks and crannies and a cute office space that wasn’t a bedroom, which is very appealing in this new hybrid work environment. The neighborhood house is significantly bigger than ours, and we don’t need anything that large. But it was done in a way that didn’t feel cavernous and overwhelming, plus it has a lot more natural light than our current home. It’s a two-story, which I adore. We’re currently in a single story with a finished basement because that’s what we could afford when we bought it.

    Our current home is a very nice home and we have worked hard to make it our own. Yet I have all the heart-eyes for this two-story family home that’s two blocks from our current one. I’m being insane, right? We don’t have a compelling reason to move, at all.

    1. Yes, people sometimes upgrade to nicer houses even if they weren’t looking. Can you afford the closing costs, moving costs, fixing things up (because I’m sure it’s not perfect), new furniture for the larger space, and the higher energy costs? Once you take all that into account, it might just seem like a nice dream but not worth it in reality.

    2. Yep, we bought a beach house sort of accidentally. (The most privileged statement ever uttered? Perhaps.) We had been vacationing in an area and out of kicks checked out a real estate app in a “I wonder what houses go for here” sort of way and saw a really affordable one and did some math and decided it was doable and chatted with an agent.

      I mean, if the finances work and you think you love it, are there reasons not to?

      1. I have a question for the NYC Hivettes: I have been renting a 1/4 share in the Hamtons for 2 years now and when I told my dad what I was paying, he had a cow!

        Now he says he will buy a place and allow me to rent it out, saving 2 bedrooms of whatever place he buys for me and a family guest (probably him and Mom, but mabye Grandma Leyeh or Grandma Trudy).

        I told him this would be a big expenditure as the houses in the nice Hamtons are very expensive. He said he would come out and stay during the week, leaving the place for the weekends for me, Myrna and my freinds.

        Does anyone else have an arrangement with their parents like this? I do not want to have to own another place, and he seems fine with owning it and living there during the week, and also off season. For those who’s parents do this for them, what has been your expereince? Can you deal with your family there when you are with your friends? Would you do it again?

        I am old enough not to bring back guys for the nite when my family is there, so this is not an issue. So, I am thinking this is a great idea and will save me thousands of dollars every summer, PLUS, I can go there all year long if I want to if we own the place, tho I would guess it gets pretty nasty there after November.

        If there is any other owners, please feel free to give me some of your advise also. Thank you in advance!

    3. If you can comfortably afford it go for it!we spend so much time at home I think it’s important to be happy in your space. I’d think about is there anything else you’d rather do with the money and if not and it’s within budget it sounds different enough to be worth the move.

    4. Um, are you me? We have a compelling reason to move (schools), but I wasns’t actually ‘looking’ (anymore than I have been the past 9 years) then I got a Redfin email on Friday for a house that checks all the boxes and now hopefully our offer will be accepted soon. You love it, you’ve loved it, do it.

    5. In contrast to the others, is this a new infatuation or do you really need/want to move? How does this impact your finances? What does your husband think?

      1. I definitely was not thinking of moving, nor was my husband. We don’t want to leave the neighborhood. Our home is 10 years old and has SO many good things about it, truly. The house bug hit me out of nowhere. I always said that I wouldn’t consider moving unless another home was perfect. And this one is not, but there is just something about it.

        Financially, I think it would be feasible considering the equity we’ve built and how crazy the market is in our area. I have not told DH how infatuated I am with this house, yet; I think he would be very surprised considering how much care we’ve put into our own home. We’d always planned to stay put.

    6. I’ve had my eye on the house at the bottom of my cul-de-sac for a decade. It’s a gorgeous custom Tudor on a fully wooded lot with a creek (with a sensible downslope, so no flooding issues). We finally got the chance to see it during an open house, and the inside was an 80s horror show. I was so overwhelmed by the idea of having to gut everything that we basically ran away (like, literally speed-walked outside and back up the street to our own front door). What a bummer.

      We also looked this past fall at a custom modern house built by a semi-famous local architect. The outside, again, was the appeal (full-wall windows, triple stories with large decks on all bedrooms, in the woods) and again the inside was a nightmare.

      Apparently I have a type: artsy-fartsy houses in the woods that look like Cyndi Lauper threw up inside.

      But yeah, we have no reason to move. We’re only where we are now because our parents need care. We plan to GTFO this part of the country as soon as they’ve passed.

    7. Financially, what will you give up if you upgrade? Is this cash you’re currently putting into a savings account on a monthly basis? Will you be able to be less generous with donations to causes important to you? Will you have less discretionary cash to travel? Does this limit your or your spouse’s ability to accept a lower paying job that might be more satisfying?

  21. Need to vent and my work friend to whom I vent is on vacation.
    Normally, I like my boss. One of their flaws though is that if they don’t think what you’re bringing up is important, they will cut you off.

    So one of those things that I was specifically told, “Hold. I want to meet on that first and we need to talk through some things.” Well… I held on it! And as these things happen, the meeting kept getting pushed and I kept trying to bring it up and kept being shut down. And then I took a couple days off and (of course) it blew up and boss didn’t call me and now is all mad.

    But like… I’m literally going through and I have a really long email on item X. I have weekly check-ins where I cite that we need to talk about item X and have meetings listed… I have emails of Boss moving the meeting over and over.

    2. (But if you really are just looking to vent with virtual work friends, yeah, your boss sucks, let’s go get a fancy coffee and take a walk!)

      1. THanks!

        Ugh, yeah… I tried to bring up any of it and boss just… said, ‘I don’t want to hear it right now, I’m pretty upset with you.’

        I treated myself to a new flavor of seltzer and one of my staffers – who didn’t really know how boss had reacted responded to me saying, “Sorry, I had to deal with something related to Project X.” replied with, ‘OH! Let me guess, NOW boss has decided they’re interested in it after shutting you down over and over when you kept trying to bring it up.” So that was really… validating.

        1. ‘I don’t want to hear it right now, I’m pretty upset with you.’

          Ooooh, this would make me so ragey!! I’m pretty sure I would have responded with a snarky “Yeah, you didn’t want to hear about it two months ago either, but here we are.”

  22. For those who are in project/program management, any thoughts on a PMP versus Six Sigma (or any other project management certifications I should consider?) My boss isn’t really in that realm, so she doesn’t have any thoughts about it one way or another. My role veers more towards ongoing programs, with the occasional start of a new program, versus straight projects, but I could see that shifting in the near future.

    1. I think PMP is standard/expected for most project management roles. I’m working toward mine now. If you go to PMI dot org you can check out the different certifications available. I think there are program-specific options as well. Try to get your employer to pay for it.
      I know less about six sigma but my wife is a “black belt” and has found it useful. She’s in more of an analyst/SME role, though.

    2. PMP and/or an Agile certification would be best if you are sticking with project/program management. Six Sigma is less PM and more process improvement, with heavy emphasis on statistics.

  23. What are your favorite super comfy but still professional enough looking tops for everyday WFH? My computer camera has been “malfunctioning” (wink wink) for like the last 8 months of WFH. I hate being on camera don’t know why so many things that would have been calls now are video calls. But I’m starting a new job and should probably be ready to do video calls when they pop up. I always feel super uncomfy wearing even my comfiest work blouses at my home desk.

    Any recommendations for super comfy loungewear that won’t stick out as PJs on a video call appreciated. I particularly like anything loose fitting and with a v-neck or scoop neck (no crew necks, please – feel like they are choking me). I was also thinking of doing tanks/camis with a cardi, but it’s summer and my AC isn’t keeping this place ice cold, so comfy summer weight sweater recs also appreciated.

    1. I find I need a higher neckline on video calls than I would feel comfortable with in the office – YMMV. That being said, I tend to wear ‘nice tops’ like I might wear at the weekend for WFH, which in my experience is plenty smart enough.

    2. I just wear t-shirts. I feel like you can barely tell what most people are wearing on zoom, you’re close to the camera and it’s not HD video.

      1. Same, or the exact same lightweight crewneck sweater that I keep next to my WFH desk thrown over whatever t-shirt/tank I’m wearing. If anyone has noticed that I’ve been wearing the same sweater for the past year and a half, they haven’t mentioned it.

      2. Agree. I’m wearing a backless gym top today, but no one can tell over zoom! It just looks like a solid colored top.

  24. Fun Monday question:

    Where do you buy jewelry? I love the look of think gold chains with simple “statement” pendants. I have a preference for interesting geometric shapes rather than gems. In the past (pre 2020), I have just purchased shiny things as they caught my eye at Target or Old Navy. Obviously, these cheap pieces never held up (and I did not expect them to).

    Now I am looking for items that are a little higher quality, but I am not looking to spend $1000s on new necklaces. Where do you ladies go for a nice middle-ground on quality jewelry? Recommendations for Etsy and similar stores would be appreciated, but I am open to anything!

    2. Kate Maller Jewelry
      K. Novinger (my local shop, but has a website!)
      Variance Objects
      Made by Branch

      With someone else’s money – Rachel Atherly (swoon) and Ruth Tomlinson

    4. I really like the following for “statement” pendants that are not too big/showy (they both have a similar aesthetic; I’ve personally shopped a lot from Alighieri and the pieces have held up great. I put them in a closed jewelry box when not wearing them to avoid too much exposure to air):

      Pamela Card
      Alighieri

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