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Suit of the Week: Helmut Lang

pants suit with sneakers Helmut LangFor busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional. Nice. I'm loving the menswear vibe of this Helmut Lang suit — and even the styling with sneakers and a high crew neck. The suit looks sharp and tailored, but it still looks like the wearer is comfortable, almost laid back. Lovely. The blazer (Patch Pocket Blazer) is $750, and the pants (High Waist Compact Cotton Pants) are $450. The exact sneakers featured are $395. Psst: I'm surprised to see ShopBop having yet another Friends & Family sale; it feels like they just had one! I just got this tiny black pendant necklace for $45 and really love it; with code INTHEFAM it comes down to $34. Lots of Helmut Lang in stock at ShopBop and it isn't among the exclusions; if you're looking for stylish sneakers I'd also take a look there. (L-all)

Sales of note for 12.5

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

217 Comments

  1. Oh, no. Just no. This is not sharp and tailored. This is “I lost 25 lbs everywhere but my shoulders and decided that I’m just going to keep on wearing the same suits!” With platform sneakers, because I am a serious professional.

    Just, no.

    1. And the just barely too short sleeves.

      I’ve done a lot of thrift and vintage shopping in my life. This fits like the suit you get excited about on the rack and then try it on and go, “Oh, no. No no no. Such pretty fabric, it’s a pity about the fit.”

    2. Agreed. I feel like it looks super sloppy – even though the sleeves are the right length, it still just looks too large and poorly proportioned.

      1. I think it would look way way better if she were standing normally and not wearing sneakers, etc. Almost Katherine Hepburn-ish.

    4. I actually really like this! It hops on the volume trend without going too far. Although I would definitely not wear it with sneakers…

    6. This reminds me of fashion reporters during fashion week. The ones who can’t bother changing outfits 5 times like the bloggers and still want to look sleek .
      I can’t see this working in a “conservative” office.

  2. Why are all of the shoes in all of the posts SO BAD lately? Seriously, wth?

    1. Right??? Not only is this outfit horrendous – Shes basically wearing sketchers with this!!

    2. Seriously! I’m missing the single strap black heeled sandal right now. At least it was unobtrusive.

    3. I would love to see a serious interview with one of the people in charge of styling models like this. There must be a reason that they do things this way. I can’t imagine what it is, but there must be one.

      1. Maybe if you start imagining how you’d style a piece you’re more likely to buy it

        1. Maybe, but I feel like I have the opposite issue – I see the piece, like it, then I see bad shoes that ruin the look, and I start trying to figure out what shoes I would wear with it, and realize that I don’t have/wouldn’t wear anything that I’m certain would be great with it, and ultimately decide I don’t like it as much as I thought.

  3. Has anyone ever used UHaul U-box to move cross country (that’s like a cheaper version of a POD)? It’s looking like it’ll be the cheapest option, but it also LOOKS like the cheapest – I’m not sure that plywood will stand up to much. Any other moving company recommendations would be great as well. We are moving from a one-bedroom apartment and will be getting rid of some big items (bed frame, dressers, table, chairs) before we go. TIA!

    1. Can’t speak to U-box, but I had a friend move from the Northeast to the Southwest with a POD and she was extremely happy with the service and process, and all her stuff made it to her new home in basically the same condition as when she packed it.

    2. Are you keeping any furniture?

      When I moved cross country I sold all my big items and shipped about 5 boxes via FedEx and flew with several suitcases. If you aren’t keeping much stuff (especially not any big items) then it was a pretty low cost option. Granted, not much of my stuff was worth keeping but it was pretty liberating to get my possessions down to the smallest amount that I really cared about.

      1. I am very, very impressed. Can I ask more? How old were you? Was it after a breakup? Any heirlooms involved? Inquiring minds want to know!

        1. It was right after law school when I was 26. I was single (no breakup) and couldn’t afford to move all my stuff and was able to rent a furnished place on the other end. None of my IKEA furniture would have travelled very well anyway.

          1. Oh there also weren’t any heirlooms involved. If they existed and were small enough I probably would have tried to put them in a carry on.

            I went years with very little stuff. When I moved in with my boyfriend (now husband) I had about 2 more boxes. Stuff has multiplied since we got married but it was nice while it lasted.

      2. The only furniture we’re keeping is our mattress (splurged on a nice one), a futon and futon frame, and an antique trunk (fairly small). Otherwise, your method sounds like the best possible way to go!

    3. Have used ABF/U-Pack and was very happy with the service. I think it’s the same concept. No problems with leaks or anything.

      1. I’ve also used the ABF cubes (I forget what they call them) and had a great experience. Don’t know about the UHaul boxes, though.

    4. Came here to post this! Do they have a holding option? I’m moving from DC to Atlanta with about a week in between leases, could they hold it for a few days at a facility then meet at the new apartment?

    5. I’ve used them for the same reason you’re considering and absolutely would.not. do it again. The staff was really nice and the price was as advertised, but U Haul lost one of our two boxes. They delivered two under the correct name but had goofed up the record keeping somehow and one box just contained someone else’s stuff. We ended up having to mail our missing box’s keys back to where we’d come from, where the manager tried them in every lock in the warehouse til one worked.

      1. Ah what a horror story!

        One tip on PODS/the like. Some cities have regulations prohibiting their use. In Chicago, you can’t park one on the street for loading, so you have to get a moving truck to load up your stuff and then put it in a pod offsite, which totally got rid of the sense of security for me. The companies might tell you “ah yeah it’s not a problem” but what they mean is “we outsource picking up your stuff to a trucking company and then load it at our warehouse an hour away.”

        1. I’d forgotten about that issue, but it was another reason we did U-Box. We couldn’t park any kind of pod on the street in our neighborhood but the U-Box could be picked up (U-Haul pickup truck and trailer) and just sit in our building’s loading dock for our allotted packing time.

      2. Seconding the bad experience. The pod didn’t fit my odd shaped couch and a couple other items (which their recommended movers said would fit) then when I had them move it and store it until I arrived two months later, the wood had leaked and many of my belongings were damaged with water. Other items were crushed and broken.
        Their claims process was a nightmare because they couldn’t figure out who was responsible (local receiving uhaul locations are owned independently from the uhaul transport service) and I ultimately wasn’t able to get full reimbursement.

    6. Thanks so much, everyone – this is very helpful! Those horror stories are exactly what I’m trying to avoid.

  4. Hate the styling, but I think the suit could really work on the right person, styled correctly. The very wide-legged pants look fresh to me.

    Here’s my threadjack question. I have been getting sick constantly this winter. A couple of rounds of a stomach bug, various sore throats, and now I’m getting another sore throat. Nothing serious or requiring doctor attention – but just lots of maladies. I have young children, which is part of the issue.

    Do any of you have good suggestions for how to stay healthy? I eat a good diet with a ton of fruits and vegetables, try to get enough sleep, exercise a few times a week, wash my hands diligently. What else can or should I be doing? I’m so tired of catching every bug that comes along.

    1. Wait til the kids are older so they gain some immunity, wash their hands on their own, and give fewer sloppy kisses on the lips. Only proven strategy I’ve seen, and it happens faster than you’d think.

    2. Have you tried probiotics? I like the CVS Feminine Health ones the best. Other brands were a little rough on my stomach as I learned through trial and error. Otherwise, I think this is just some of the territory of having little kids. It hopefully gets better once they are older.

    3. The only thing I might add that seems to have helped me a bit is an air purifier in my office. I know LO brings things home, but this helps a bit – in addition to washing hands – with that feeling of breathing recirculated air all winter.

    4. When our daughter landed in the hospital with some type of stomach virus as a toddler, the doctor told us to eat yogurt with active cultures to help prevent ourselves from catching it. We now ramp up our yogurt intake whenever anyone in the house comes down with any type of illness, and it seems to help reduce the spread–but it could just be coincidence or hand-washing. Some probiotic supplements also advertise that they can strengthen the immune system.

      Once each of your kids has been in a group setting (day care, school) for about two years, the constant illnesses should slow down. That’s what our pediatrician told us, and she was spot-on.

        1. Some yogurts explicitly say on the label that they have active cultures, some do not. I’ve never been sure if those that do not indicate active cultures have dead cultures or what.

          1. Isn’t it the cultures that make it yogurt (and not just slowly-rotting milk)?

            OTOH, I found a lost sippy cup once and never should have opened it. The milk had become something like cheese.

          2. Maybe the specific labeling is probably a result of testing they have done to specifically show the bacteria culture has survived whatever pasteurization/food safety process the yogurt has been subject to?

          3. All yogurts have active cultures when they’re created, but different processing and storage could potentially kill those cultures before they reach you.

    5. One thing we found very helpful when we had small children in daycare was to have hand sanitizer right at our door so as everyone walked in the house and took jackets off, we did a quick “wash” to rid ourselves of work/daycare germs. It’s not 100% fool-proof, but it helped.

      2. When I was a nanny and getting sick constantly from the kids, hand sanitizer really worked miracles. I kept a bottle in the kitchen where I spent most of my time and used it before eating, after handling the kids’ dishes, etc.

    6. Hi! Are you me? I could have written this exact post. I have tried everything (including probiotics, elderberry syrup, etc.) for me and my kids (ages 2.5 and 5). I finally went to my kids and my doc about a week ago when GI bug #4 of the season hit our house. I was absolutely desperate for any help. And I got a comforting pat on the knee, told that this has been a bad season for it, and that this too shall pass. So, basically, no help at all. At this point, if someone told me to stand on my head for 5 minutes a day to keep another illness out of my house, I would do it.

    7. Thanks all. You know, I cut out dairy last fall, and I wonder if maybe my stomach is missing the probiotics I used to get in yogurt. Maybe I’ll introduce yogurt back into my diet and see if that helps (or just try OTC probiotics).

      1. Yogurt is also usually one of the easiest dairy products on your stomach/body because of the active cultures, so even keeping cheese/milk out of the rest of your diet, you’ll still have the positive dairy-free benefits.

    8. Maybe less relevant to you, but I don’t eat much fruit and I find a daily Vitamin C drop helps a lot. I take additional ones at the first sign of any illness.

    10. I would also add that one place/time that I really tend to share germs with my kids is reading stories to them and cuddling at bedtime. You may miss the cuddles, but doing more of a presentation-style (like at story time) if you know your kids are sick.

    11. Wash hands! Wash hands! Don’t let the kids kiss you on your mouth or use you as a kleenex. Also, don’t touch your face with your hands.

      But it does get better – my youngest is 3 and I have gotten sick less this winter.

    12. Make sure your kids are diligent about handwashing too! I know it’s hard with little ones, but it won’t do you much good if they’re getting their germy little hands all over everything. Lysol every surface regularly, including doorknobs, lightswitches, the toilet flusher, etc. And don’t share food with the kids.

    13. I don’t have kids and this is happening to me. No advice, just commiseration.

    14. I feel for you. It HAS been a bad year for that. There is no substitution for washing your hands and their hands all the time. I wash my hands as soon as I come home from work and I try to get them to wash their hands too. Disinfectant handiwipes or hand sanitizer are great to carry around when you’re out. The flu vaccine for everyone helps, too. Some studies show that even if the vaccine doesn’t stop YOU from being sick it decreases transmission to vulnerable people (elderly, babies etc) you come in contact with. Also a word of caution against too much zinc, which has been used for cold prevention. Too much zinc chelates copper from your body (sucks it out) and can cause neurological problems (similar to MS).

    15. Feeling your pain. 4.5 and 1.5 here. We’ve had two rounds of the stomach bug, fifths disease, and countless colds. I’ve heard it was an especially bad year for the stomach bug. EVERYONE I know has gotten it.

  5. Speaking of moving (sort of), this is a longshot, but has anybody ever rented your house or apartment fully furnished, either via AirBnB or longer term corporate or academic housing? I am moving in with my intended after we get married in September, and (a) it just kills me to think about dismantling the beautiful house I worked so hard to put together, and (b) renting it furnished would relieve me, at least temporarily, of the necessity of disposing of all that furniture and kitchen stuff.

    It seems like a risky venture but on the other hand I feel like my property might be uniquely suited to rent fully furnished and equipped for, say, visiting academics. Thoughts? Advice?

    1. Contact local colleges/universities and see if they need something like what you’re offering. Also contact companies that help arrange business travel and see if they have a need.

    2. I rented a house like this for the first year in a new city. The family had moved to France for a year (they weren’t academics, but it was basically a sabbatical). I thought it worked really well. Things to consider include the work required to get the house ready. Some people will want to use your kitchen stuff; others will want to bring in their own. You have to assume some breakage and wear and tear, even if you have the best of tenants. And depending on how nice your home is, people who are in this kind of transitional living situation may not be able to afford it.

      Nevertheless, I thought it was great and very helpful. When we were looking for a house, we looked at listings on local parent list-servs and other community groups as well as through sabbaticalhomes.com. We found the house through the parent list-serv, but sabbaticalhomes might be an easier place to list yourself.

      1. Thanks, this is helpful! Honestly if I could get a tenant for a year I’d rent it furnished and equipped for not much more than the going rate for unfurnished, for the reasons stated above!

        Also, just throwing it out there: It’s in Pasadena, California so if any Hive members or friends are interested, shoot me an email at seniorattorney1 at gmail. I’m looking at late fall but would be flexible on dates for the right person.

        1. Dammit! I was begging for you to be in Boston…
          But this would be a dream for me, and I’m sure there are others like me!
          One thing to consider- if you are near an academic hospital, clinical fellows (fully qualified MDs, usually in their mid-30s, who are doing extra specialization for 1 year) are always looking for places like this.

    3. Are you getting married to the Serious Gentleman Friend?!? (Did I miss this??) Congratulations!!!!

        2. OMGOMGOMG! I had no idea that was you who posted anonymously! (Also, that’s it — when I am in LA over the summer we have to have a R e t t e meet-up!)

          1. For realsies. Email me and we will make it happen! Seniorattorney1 at gmail!

    4. Contact some realtors that specialize in corporate transfers.
      We listed our house and some realtors asked if we’d rent it furnished! We were flattered at the time, and seriously considered it…

    5. This would totally fly in my community, although I wouldn’t go the AirBnB route or the college/university route. I would contact a local realtor. (They don’t just sell houses!). Some specialize in rental properties-you pay them a commission for finding you a renter, but they also have rental agreements and people who can vet your prospective tenants by checking references and making sure they have jobs which will cover the rent etc. We inadvertently had to rent out house when our sale fell through, and our real estate agent found us a great tenant for six months, and the house then was placed back on the market and sold.

    6. A large (8000 square foot) fully furnished home in our neighborhood is rented on Air B&B. It is used nearly every weekend. Family reunions. Guys weekends (the past few have been basketball watching affairs as far as I can tell). And I’ve rented places on Air B&B with success. It’s definitely an option.

      That said, I know there are also corporate rental agencies that specialize in slightly longer term (weeks to months) rental for corporate relocations. Maybe that would be a good option? Usually one person, maybe with a family but maybe not, and unlikely to be big house parties.

    7. Yes, I did this with my apartment when I was living in Harvard Square area, Cambridge. I was going to be gone for several months.

      Because of the location, it was highly desirable. It worked out great.

      I contacted the graduate student housing office at the Universities. Told them I was looking for an individual or married couple to rent a furnished apartment. I rented to the first couple that contacted me. A lovely couple, husband was a new graduate student, they were from Eastern Europe…. They brought very few belongings with them, which was perfect.

      I left all my stuff….but tried to pack away the clothes to leave them that space as well as a little storage. So they essentially use my kitchen (and left foodstuffs), cleaning supplies, personal items, CDs, books etc…. I bought a fresh set of sheets, but otherwise they used my usual towels. I left it clean and neat for them.

      The couple actually loved it, and treated my place perfectly. They replaced anything they used, as I asked. They loved reading my books, listenening to my music etc.. They said the new sheets on the bed made them feel like they were special guests staying in my home, the nicest hotel they could hope for.

      It was a bit trusting of me, I admit. I strongly recommend making sure you take pictures of every room etc… before they move in, and carry adequate insurance, and collect a security deposit with a clearly written contract.

      You will make a nice chunk of change!

      1. That sounds like exactly the kind of thing I am looking for! Obviously I will be taking all my clothes with me but I would love to be able to leave most of the rest of it.

        1. I do think the idea of targeting visiting academics is a good, and stable, idea. When you call the student housing offices (or check websites at the schools), also ask if they have a separate listing process for faculty (visiting, new faculty). Your place may be too nice/pricey for a grad student, but sometimes law/business/medical students are older with spouses with income and have more resources. But the foreign student is the best target, as they come with almost no stuff.

      2. We were tenants in this way when I went overseas for a fellowship. It was awesome! They had a kid and left toys so my kid appreciated the house full of “new” toys. I agree that targeting visiting academics is a good idea. They are academics. They probably aren’t in it for money.

    8. Maybe reach out to Caltech? There’s a possibility that some of the profs at the Claremont Colleges might be interested too (it’s a reverse commute, and even though it’s a college town, Claremont can be a little …not a great cultural fit? … for some people who don’t quite fit into the Sweet Valley High narrative). If you google Claremont College Consortium there’s a woman (Karen?) who coordinates housing information — might be a good source. Also, my parents have rented houses like this while my dad was getting medical treatment. Are you close enough to City of Hope or other destination-type hospitals where someone might have to be in town for a few months to participate in a clinical trial (or support a family member who is doing that) or whatever?

      1. Wow, thanks! Yes, City of Hope is practically right next door! And yes, Caltech for sure, and JPL. Hadn’t thought of Claremont Colleges but that’s a great idea and thanks so much for the specific info!!

        1. This sounds like it would be great for someone needing housing near a destination hospital. When my mom had cancer she had to be treated at an out-of-state hospital and had to stay there for months afterwards. We ended up renting an apartment, but it would have been so nice to have had a furnished house to rent! (It took a lot of effort to move furniture.) The hospital had very few resources for us, basically just a list of nearby long-stay hotels. Especially if you could offer it at a little under market or something it sounds like it would be really needed.

        2. I was working abroad for a year in 2011 and subletted my apt on Sabbatical Homes. I am in Boston and ended up renting to someone doing a one year fellowship here. It was perfect for both me and the subletter.

    9. We rent out our fully furnished apartment on Airbnb all.the.time. It’s great. We list it every time we go out of town, and it ends up paying for most of our vacations!! Airbnb covers you up to $1M, and I don’t own anything worth more. We’ve had to submit a claim once in the past two years for a tenant who broke our vitamix and airbnb replaced the entire thing, no hassle. I love that we can vet people fully on their profiles (so we’ve turned down teenagers coming for spring break), and unlike in a hotel, people have an incentive to clean up after themselves. BUT re: tenants YMMV…I live across the street from an Ivy league school, so the visitors tend to be parents coming for graduation, surgeons coming to the med school, visiting professors, etc. Easier to approve these people if you can see their linkedin profiles too.

      CONGRATS on your engagement!!!!

      1. Just curious….

        How much “prep” do you have to do each time you rent? Do you have it down to a quick clean, empty ?2 drawers of the dresser, hide all the jewelry……. How long does the prep take?

    10. I have nothing to add about renting out your house, but I followed your renovation story and I wondered where you’d live after you married. I’m sure it will be hard to let someone else live in your jewel box of a house, but you’ll be very happy with your fiancé, then husband, anywhere, I’m sure.

      1. Aw, thanks!

        He actually offered to move in with me, but he has a lovely house that is twice as big as mine and recently remodeled and that he literally built (half of) with his own lovely hands. So that is the logical choice. Plus we are going to incorporate a lot of touches from my house including remodeling his last untouched bathroom into a duplicate of the guest bath at my house. Plus I am finally getting my room-sized dressing room/closet/woman cave. So there are upsides!

        And yes, we would be happy together anywhere! :)

  6. Does anyone have recommendations for visiting Alaska? We are a family of 4 (kids 11 and 13), coming from the Bay Area. We were on a big cruise ship last year and I hated it, so I know that is not the experience I want. Can anyone speak to small cruise v. doing everything inland? We’re nature lovers and enjoy hiking, etc. I’m thinking about going right before the kids go back to school at the end of August. Thanks!

    1. Just FYI, cruising in Alaska is quite different than other big ship cruises I’ve done. It depends on what you hated about your first cruise, but I do think many people who don’t enjoy Caribbean cruises (especially on a more party-oriented line like Carnival) would enjoy an Alaska cruise, which tend to cater to an older crowd and be more sedate and nature-focused (naturalists on board the ship, etc.)
      Going inland on your own is a great option too though! We did a week inland before a cruise. We flew into Anchorage, did a day trip to Katmai National Park for bear-watching (amazing but $$$$), drove up to Denali for a couple of days and then drove down to the Kenai Peninsula to see Kenai Fjords National Park. Kenai was probably my favorite part of our trip – it’s a beautiful place with great hiking and kayaking. Glacier Bay National Park is hard to visit except on a cruise ship, but there are plenty of other national parks in AK to fill up your itinerary. The three we visited pre-cruise were all wonderful (Glacier Bay was actually kind of a letdown after our pre-cruise week) and there are four others we didn’t get to.

      1. Co-sign. I’ve done the Carnival cruises and an Alaska cruise, and the Alaska cruise is much more my speed. I think it’s a great way to see a lot of Alaska, especially if you don’t want to plan all of the logistical arrangements yourself. They’ve got loads of activities that you can pick from- hiking, trips to glaciers, rafting, fishing, panning for gold, dog sledding, whale watching et al. We left from Vancouver (also a fun place to spend a day before your trip), and then went up the Inside Passage stopping in Ketchikan, Juneau, and Skagway. The view is great along the way, I’m pretty sure we stopped at Glacier Bay. We docked and then took a train up to Denali national park and spent a few days there (MUST DO), then took a bus back down to Anchorage.

    2. I went on a big cruise ship tour of Alaska and hated it. There was one port excursion activity (a nature boat tour) that was worthwhile, but being on the ship was not fun and the weather was never warm enough for us to enjoy sitting on the deck or the swimming pool. The towns were full of t-shirt and jewelry shops (i.e. tourist traps) owned by the cruise lines. Except for Disney, all of the cruise ships cater to a much older crowd. I can’t speak to doing the inland stuff.

      Can you go to Vancouver instead? That city has a ton of things to do, great food, mountain biking nearby, and nice hotels?

      1. Noooo, don’t give up on Alaska! You don’t have to go on a cruise. I really enjoyed our Alaska cruise, but you definitely don’t have to cruise to see the state! If you’re not up for driving yourselves around (although it’s by no means difficult) there are organized tours of the interior you can take. And yes the port towns like Juneau, Skagway and Ketchikan are touristy, but even if you’re on a cruise, you don’t hang out in those towns! You do an excursion or rent a car and get out into nature as soon as you dock. We saw black bears, humpback whales and moose on our cruise or on excursions. Cruising is not for everyone, I get it – but Alaska is so worth a visit even if you don’t want to cruise!

        Vancouver is a nice city (it was the terminus of our cruise) and I enjoyed our day and a half there a lot, but Alaska is absolutely unparalleled in N. American if you love nature, hiking and animals. Vancouver is NOT a substitute for the nature or adventure of Alaska!

      2. When it comes to Canada and nature/outdoorsy destinations, Banff is unparalleled, and probably closer to Alaska in terms of experience. Amazing mountains, hot springs, skiing or biking/hiking depending on the season. I agree that Vancouver is not at all a substitute for Alaska. Vancouver is a city destination.

        1. +1000 Banff is beautiful and the Rockies are unparalleled. If you want a splurge stay at Banff Springs hotel, it’s amazing. If you want more wilderness there is lake Louise and moraine lake close by, kananaskis and the Columbia ice fields. Also if you’re American the dollar is totally in your favour!

    3. I lived in Alaska, including in the SE which is where the cruises go, for a while and I would recommend just hanging in land. I’d fly into anchorage and spend a day there and then head up to Denali, hike around there, and then head down to the Kenai peninsula, staying in Homer or Girdwood. You will see all the nature you want as well have access to the Ocean.

      The towns you visit in the SE have populations from 8-15k people who actually live there, but at high season more than 30k people come off the boats for the day. It’s really surreal to have your town’s population triple during the day during the high seasons. The cruises also basically destroyed the local shops in the town. They tell the tourists on the ships that local shops will rip them off and provide a list of “good” (cruiseline owned) shops that will not rip them off.

    4. When I was 10, my grandmother took me and my cousins (then 11 and 12) to Alaska to visit our aunt and uncle and travel around the interior. We loved it! I don’t have any specific recommendations really, since it was over 20 years ago, but I really encourage you to visit the interior and get out hiking and kayaking etc. as much as possible!

    5. Hope this doesn’t come too late, but I did the REI Glacier Bay cruise (easily findable on Google) when I was about 12 and it’s still in the top 3 most magical experiences of my lifetime. Beautiful, comfortable, well tailored for a variety of activity levels, and small enough that we’d point and laugh at the big cruise ships further out while we were walking right up to the glaciers. REI also does other areas of Alaska and I highly recommend them.

  7. I’m looking for hair advice. I’m 30 and have long hair that I (usually) love. My hair has always been my “thing;” it’s strawberry blonde and fairly notable as far as hair goes. It is a little longer than the bottom of my shoulder blades and has been pretty long for the past seven years or so. It’s a little pantene-y but is not so much as to be unprofessional, and at work I often wear it in a bun or a low ponytail.

    I am toying with the idea of cutting it but can’t seem to commit. I think I want to cut it into a shoulder length “lob,” which would still be considered long by many standards but would be really short for me. I consider doing this because it would be easier (take less time to dry), lighter (and I’ve found that my hair holds a style longer when there’s less of it pulling itself down), and I see pictures of lob cuts tht are so fresh and modern. I rarely wear my hair down anymore because although it looks good in the morning, by lunchtime the front part has fallen into my eye, and I just want to put it in a ponytail.

    I hestitate to cut it, though, because I am worried that instead of fresh and modern, it would just look dowdy. I recently had a baby and am still carrying about 10 lbs. of baby weight, and my long hair makes me feel pretty– I worry I would lose that if I cut my hair. I’m also struggling with the idea that, at age 30, if I cut it now, I may never have long hair again.

    I know I’m overthinking something so superficial, but I feel like a part of my identity is tied to my hair, and I don’t want to regret cutting it. By the same token, I don’t want to keep hanging onto it if it’s not really working. Any thoughts?

    1. I’m 34 and I just cut my hair into a lob. It’s been past my shoulder blades for the last decade. I considered cutting it early, but felt it would be a “mom cut.” But I decided with the lob trend in full swing it was the perfect time.

      I was also worried that this would mean I’d never have long, long hair again. And that might be true. But the shorter hair is working for me now.

      I went with a longer lob first, then a few weeks later I went with a shoulder-grazing lob. If you have a stylist you know and trust, I’d go there. If it’s not texturized properly it can definitely look dowdy.

    2. How long ago did you have a baby? You might not want to make any changes until your hormones settle down.

      The only reason I mention it is because my hair started falling out in clumps postpartum and the growing-in period is annoying – I have a ton of hair and at first I looked bald. Now that my hair is growing back in, I have these spiky sections of hair all around the front of my face that I literally can’t do anything with. (Then again, you could wind up like my friend who had none of these issues.)

      1. This! This! Don’t do it. I did it and totally regretted it. It’s so, so tempting and I feel like so many women do it. I’m furiously trying to grow mine back out now without the help of pregnancy hormones.

    3. Team Pixie Cuts for Lyfe here, so I may not be the exact right person to weigh in, but the thing that really stuck out to me is that you’re treating this like a permanent decision – it’s not! If you have beautiful hair that’s strong and has no problem growing long, you’re going to have that same hair even if it happens to be cut into a lob. You’re not going to get one haircut and suddenly never be able to grow long hair again – that’s just not how hair works.

      And as far as being worried about looking dowdy, that’s ALL on the stylist. If you want a great lob, find a person in your life with a great lob, ask them where they got it, and go to that stylist (seriously, it’s how I found my current stylist/colorist – I wanted short red hair that wouldn’t turn orange after 4 or 5 weeks, so I asked a woman at my gym who had a fabulous dyed red pixie who she went to, and voila! 7 years later I’m still seeing the same person, and I give her card out on a monthly basis to other people who ask me about my hair).

      And lastly, might you regret cutting it? Well, yeah, you might hate your lob. But you’ll only have it for, like, 8 weeks, tops, if you hate it, because your hair will grow back. In the grand scheme of your life, I’m not sure the “risk” of “bad hair for maybe 2ish months” is worth this much angst.

      1. Just to clarify my position on “I’ll never have long hair again,” and I suspect the OP’s as well. It’s not that my hair won’t grow back. It’s more that my below-the-shoulder-blades sliced waves were probably considered by some to be “too young” for a thirty something. It was one thing to maintain the status quo, but I’m not sure that I’ll grow it back to those lengths.

        1. But that’s a *choice*, which was my point. There’s no Hair Police running around issuing tickets to women over 30 with long hair – if your hair is the type of hair that grows out (mine is not, hence Team Pixie), you’re still going to have that type of hair, and you can still grow it back out if you want to. The idea that your hair has to be a certain length at a certain age is weird, culturally-imposed nonsense. I absolutely hate the idea that our appearance (hair choices, makeup choices, clothing choices) are treated like some sort of inevitable march towards frump and dowdiness, based on some arbitrary age-based standard of what’s “appropriate.” Is your hair clean? Are your clothes clean? If it’s a workday, are you in compliance with any employer-based requirements that might apply to you re: hair and clothing? Oh hey look, you’re appropriate!

        2. +1 – I am a mid-30s person with hair that grows quickly and I like having it long (it’s easier for me to put up that way). I had mid-back length hair, until I chopped it a year ago (9 inches) so it was at my shoulders. It was fun to do something different, but now I’m back in grow out mode because I like the longer length. Will probably not have the urge to chop until I’m in my 40s.

          No age limit on long hair – just life limits (don’t have time to take care of it, it gets in the way, it doesn’t grow quickly)

      2. Agreed. A lob is a pretty low-risk haircut. A good stylist will be able to give you a version that works for you and your hair, and if the first attempt isn’t great, you’ll still have enough length to have the cut reworked. AND, it’s easy to grow out. I wouldn’t worry too much.

        I have to say, though – KKH, I generally share your opinion that haircuts aren’t permanent decisions and loved the pixie cut of my 20s, but I wish I had thought about it more seriously before taking the jump! It was a flattering cut while it lasted, but growing it out was a nightmare. I had about 100 different versions of the chick mullet for two straight years (despite getting trims once a month to try to maintain some sense of professional style) before my hair reached shoulder length. To this day I still have scary dreams that I’ve decided to cut off all my hair again.

        1. To be clear, if OP had asked about a pixie I would’ve added a caution about growing it out – I have done it, and while I never had a “mullet” or any problems with it, it was definitely a process. Growing out a lob, though? That’s seriously NBD.

          1. +1
            I have grown out a pixie twice (I always go back!) and have never had the “mullet” look. I believe avoiding awkward phases is entirely dependent on having a good stylist. A good stylist will have all your stages looking intentional.

          2. Actually I think it also really depends on how your hair grows. Mine grew much more quickly at the back than front or sides. In that situation a stylist doesn’t have a lot to work with. And trust me, I tried many during that time.

        2. Fellow pixie survivor here. I love the look of short hair, but NEVER AGAIN. It’s been 2 years and my hair is just now reaching “lob” length.

      3. I’m 30, I’m carrying far more than an extra 10lbs, I’ve had a lob cut for 2 years now (after 10 years of shoulder-blade length hair) and I love it. My hair was my “thing” before and it still is – people continue to comment on my unusual natural colour and the lob cut. It just takes me way less time to wash and style which makes me so happy.

      4. Glad someone else is firmly Team Pixie! I often feel like I’m the only short haired professional in my world. But I’ll never go back!

        1. Me too, I just hacked a bob last week, I’m in my mid 40’s. It had been chin length for a year. It felt ‘mumsy’ and I had previously worn it short for years. I almost cried at first but I had lunch with my childhood girlfriends this weekend and they all said ‘I love your hair’ . For me, as it is a frumpy grey/ brown colour, I keep it boldy highlighted. I don’t kid myself, it’s not the cut or my bone structure but the colour and the jazzy way I gel the sides.

          I have saved 15 min easily off my morning routine. Several people at work said ‘oh, I love your new glasses’, they are not quite sure what’s different, I just said thanks lol

    4. You can have long hair again! Especially with an older kid.
      I grew my hair out the past 3 years or so… it got to my bra strap in back! Fun! But I never did anything with it.

      Then I had 2nd baby. And shed. A lot. Not REALLY a lot from my head, but a lot on the floor. And I wasn’t doing anything with my hair. So now, at age 37, it IS short(er) again – just lower than my chin in front, covering my neck in back. I love it. So easy! And cute!

      Do you trust your stylist? Are you feeling like a change? Are you looking at pics of celebrities or on pinterest of desired styles. Let it sink in. Talk to your SO. Go for something more than a trim, and then see what your next steps are. You CAN have long hair again, at any age.

    5. I don’t mean to throw this cliche out, but it’s really true: it’s just hair. It will grow back. I can tell this is a very big deal for you, but if you can, try to think of it like cutting your nails or changing your lipstick. New styles are good! And FUN! And they’re not permanent :)

      And maybe forcing yourself to get a new style would be good, lest you end up hanging on to your signature style so long you become like one of those 50 year old women still wearing the long permed hair and poufy bangs of the ’80s. (I’m looking at you, biglaw partner I met last week in DC.) You know you don’t want to be that woman ;)

    6. How fast does your hair grow? I had long ( mid back length) hair, chopped about 9 inches off. I loved it for a couple months (it was way curlier than it ever was when longer), but am now back on grow-out mode. My hair grows quickly and I’ll be back to the previous length after another year (so, 2 years after cutting).

    7. I did this a few years ago, and FWIW, I hated it. Not only did it look dowdy on me (I realized it made my arms look a lot thicker than they actually are, and made me look thicker in general), but it also didn’t actually cut down on styling time because the weight of the hair helped smooth it (and that weight was not there to smooth it out when it was shorter). I don’t think it’s superficial to be worried about not feeling as good when this is an asset you like.

      I know people have good experiences, and you might, as well, but I just wanted to add some of the opposite perspective.

      1. My experience is similar. Every time I wind up cutting my hair to my shoulders or above, I hate it. The weight of my long hair really helps it be less wavy/frizzy. It always grows back but I dislike it for a long time, say never again, then repeat the cycle years down the road.

        1. When I cut my hair any significant amount, it takes me a week or two to adjust my styling/hair care routine to the new length. Like, when it’s long, I have to think about making sure it doesn’t get too flat, when it’s shorter, I have to use something to smooth it out a little. But I also don’t get haircuts very often, so growing it back out is no big deal (what? It’s been 6 months since my last haircut? Oh well, guess I’m growing out these bangs….)

      2. Same. Instead of feeling like I had more time with less styling time, I just felt like I looked bad all the time, so why bother even trying to style it. Longer hair just looks better on me, although there’s a sweet spot of layering required.

        But on the other hand, I’m glad I tried it so that I don’t have that “what if” in the back of my mind forever.

    8. Don’t cut it. I have your exact hair & hate it every single time I get inspired to “lob” or “bob” it. Long hair gives me so much more flexibility – bun or ponytail (sleek) for professional days & more playful/youthful on weekends/evenings.

  8. I had a quick 10-minute initial phone call with a therapist this morning because I think my anxiety levels are no longer something I’m coping super well with. I’ve been energy-less and drained ever since. Is that normal? How is an actual session going to go?

    1. I find my therapist appointments to be really draining the day of but I always feel better the next day. I generally schedule my appointments for the end of the day (I found a therapist who works evenings so I go around 6:30 or 7 and then go home. I don’t think i could function if I had to go back to work after.

    2. What a great thing to talk to your therapist about! (not sarcastic… just continue reading…)
      Right now you’re at a crisis point, feeling this anxiety, not coping well, and asking for help are all really difficult and weighty situations that have actual physical symptoms and consequences (slept well lately? How are you eating?). Your first couple of sessions will probably be difficult for a lot of reasons – meeting someone new, building trust/compatibility, a new situation, talking about things that are difficult, getting used to talking about difficult things. They may be exhausting. (Personally I always eat before a therapy session and often bring a drink in with me.) You can talk about this with a good therapist. A good therapist will also take you through a number of different emotions and feelings through a session and help you feel cathartic and BETTER at the end of a session, yeah, sometimes you might walk out feeling worse or like, That was hard! or a few times, Oh, geez, I need therapy to deal with my therapist?! but there will also be feelings of lightness and laughter and relief at dealing with the issues you need to. You can tell your therapist what’s going on so that s/he sends you out on a high note “I have a job interview this afternoon!” or “I have a first date!”. It’s a little weird. It definitely challenging but I promise you — it is rewarding to go through the process. Much, much more rewarding than your current situation, I hope and know and believe for you. You’re really brave. Hugs.

      1. This is the sweetest comment, thank you. This is all new to me and I’m going to try and keep all of this in mind.

    3. Also want to add – even though initial appointments are often 90+ minutes (oy!) it may be worth it to shop around for a compatible therapist. Different therapists have different styles. I was glad one that was too Freudian did not work out, for example.

      1. That’s a good idea. I’m trying to keep that in mind – I have found all this start-up so intimidating, but maybe just need to view it as a longer process.

    4. You’ve been drained since the phone call?

      My therapist is very encouraging and I almost always leave her office feeling hopeful and encouraged about my situation. (One time we ran out of time and left an unpleasant topic unresolved and I felt like crap, but overall we try to avoid that.) But she’s not particularly chipper on the phone, so if I had judged her by that, I would have missed out.

      I think a lot of it is how your personalities mesh. Go to the one appointment, feel each other out, and decide if you’d like to continue. You can always say you don’t feel you’re a match, kind of like dating.

      1. Thanks, yeah, it was definitely nothing she did on the phone, or at least I don’t think anything she did. Maybe more not being used to talking about any of this.

    5. I used to go to my therapist on my lunch break and initially it was hard to go back to work. I feel drained, or sometimes I’d just talked about something really heavy and I felt sad. I let my therapist know and he started stopping the heavy talk 5 minutes before the end of the session and doing some guided meditation or just asking me about happy things. (What are your weekend plans, How’s it going with your new cat, etc.) I eventually started booking appointments at the end of the day though. When you’re talking to a therapist try to be as open as possible about the effect of the therapy on you–it’s not criticism, they are there to help you. Good luck!

  9. Why, why do I warm-weather shop like I’m off to a trip to Capri and need everything from scratch?

    I do not need everything from scratch.
    I am not going to Capri; I am going to work.

    My suitcase / shopping cart is so ready, though.

    1. Yay, Shopping rawr, you and me both! I also MUST buy complete outfit’s or I am PETRIFIED thing’s will NOT match, and I do NOT have the taste that Rosa does in selecting great thing’s that 1) look good; 2) fit and 3) do not make me look like a toad. Since I do NOT have ROSA to help me every day I shop, I rely on my personal shopper at L&T, and in other places, I rely on my INSTINCT’s, which I think are not that great.

      I would LOVE to be abel to go to Capri, and already have at least 3 pair’s of Capri pant’s, which I wear in the summer on Weekend’s when I walk around the park or go out to eat. My tuchus is getting back in the shape I need to be abel to wear my Capri pant’s, but NOT just quite yet. I still perfer the sweat pants from the winter, which CONCEALS the tuchus for a few more week’s. Then, after Memorial Day, I MUST be abel to fit into a bikini b/c the manageing partner invited the firm out to his place in the Hamton’s for a day of fun in the sun! YAY!!! I onley hope that his brother keep’s his hand’s off of me in the pool. FOOEY on men that grab at our bodie’s just b/c we are swimming. That does NOT give them a licence to “stroke” our boobie’s or our tuchuses. DOUBEL FOOEY!

  10. I just saw about this Amy Schemer saga, and I’m a little bothered by it. My impression is that her reaction is pretty negative overall in terms of body image issues. I can kind of understand the point she says she was trying to make, but it really seems like she was offended by the idea of being lumped with the “fat girls.”

    Also, I won’t lie – I’m skeptical that she’s really a 6/8, which maybe is really why her reaction bothers me. I feel like it makes women who are bigger than a 6/8 feel really bad. Perhaps she’s just short, as I find that more petite females wear smaller sizes than taller gals with similar body shapes. I don’t know. This all just bothers me.

    I really am tired of all the body image problems. I have noticed a slightly wider range of body shapes on TV in the past year, which I really appreciate and hope to see more of. Having grown up in the ally mcbeal era, I know my impression of what is “healthy” and “attractive” was distorted, and I don’t want that for my daughters!

    1. “Also, I won’t lie – I’m skeptical that she’s really a 6/8, which maybe is really why her reaction bothers me.”

      Who gives a sh*t though? I don’t care what size other people wear, and if they’re lying about what size they wear, then that is their problem not mine.

      Also, I wear an XL in some brands and an XS in others, so sizing is alllllll over the charts anyway.

    2. If she is a 6/8, then I am a 000.

      The number isn’t important, the discussion IS important, and inventing a # is a distraction. These people have people and publicists and I’m convinced that they’re all st*pid b/c they let this in. Bad goalie!

    3. Eh, I’m not sure she was actually offended about being lumped in with Melissa McCarthy etc. I think she was mostly just offended at the label plus size and the categorization of women. But even if she were offended at being compared to much heavier women, is that so wrong? She is significantly slimmer than those women and frankly it is kind of offensive. Amy Schumer may not be a stick thin model but she’s a perfectly healthy build. Some of those other women are overweight in a way that’s not healthy. Being slightly soft or having a broad, muscular build is not the same as being overweight and I don’t think it’s unfair to object to being grouped with women that are objectively overweight.

      fwiw, I’m the same weight as Amy Schumer and a couple inches taller and I normally wear a size 6, so totally believable to me that she could be a 6 or 8.

      1. Please stop it.

        Please do not pretend that a thinner woman’s concern in being compared to a fatter woman would be related to being compared to something that is “not healthy”. Women don’t mind being compared to Kate Moss who had a relationship with cocaine that was “not healthy”, but it also thin. Unfortunately, our society still lauds thin bodies and attractive and fat bodies as unattractive, and that will never change if we continue to veil those attitudes under concerns about “health”.

        I actually don’t actually think that’s why Amy Schumer reacted the way she did, but your comment that being compared to fat people is offensive really sucks.

        1. I don’t want to look like Melissa McCarthy or Kate Moss. And if I were Shumer, I would not want to be compared to McCarthy.

          1. Right. I would find a Kate Moss comparison offensive as well. But it doesn’t mean the Melissa McCarthy comparison isn’t also offensive.

          2. Melissa McCarthy is a hilarious comedian who always looks great. Why would Amy Shumer be offended by being compared to her?

          3. Because Melissa McCarthy is obese, and it was their bodies that were being compared, not their personalities or careers.

        2. Listen… it’s a little ridiculous to get mad at people who are not obese for admitting that they wouldn’t want to be obese, or that they don’t want to be described as being obese. It’s OK if someone doesn’t want to be obese.

    4. People tend to look much bigger on TV–and we’re used to seeing sizes 0/2 women on TV only – so I completely believe it.

      1. OK — the internet says that she’s 5-7 and 160#.

        I am 5-4 and 125#. I have 38″ hips and muscular thighs. On the bottom I am a size 6 (but in DVF, I am an 8 but could easily be a 10). Perhaps Amy and I shop at different stores?

        1. Or maybe you have different bodies and fit into clothes differently? Muscle weighs more than fat, and people have widely varying bone structures, so a person’s height and weight really tells you very little about their dress or pants size. I’ve seen pictures of her in a bathing suit. Her body looks a lot like mine and I normally wear a 6 or 8.

          I think the “OMG Amy Schumer is NOT a size 6-8!!!” comments are by far the worst part of this of this whole debacle.

        2. This sort of comparison is worthless – I’m 5’5″ and 220lbs and I wear a size 16, so I’m guessing that Amy Schumer at 5’7″ and 160lbs is not also a size 16, but who the heck knows? And more importantly, who the heck cares? I’m willing to trust that Amy Schumer is a better authority on what size clothing she wears than anyone on this board.

        3. She is also young and wears her clothes much, much shorter, smaller & tighter than I would at my age. What fits her and she feels good in is probably different than what you think “fits” you.

        4. I’m 5’5, and when I weighted 160, I was a 6. I totally believe her but also think it doesn’t matter at all. And the fact that we are debating it is a perfect example of what is wrong with our view of women’s bodies.

        5. You might want to check out mybodygallery . com and it will show you a range of images people have posted of themselves along with the size they wear and their weight. There can be huge fluctuations – I’m your height, nearly 20 pounds heavier and wear a smaller size.

      2. +1 My take was her comment was meant to re-calibrate our expectations on how sizes look.

        Though, I think most “plus-size” models are a lot smaller than most “plus-sized” clothing – they’re just a bigger size than the models we are used to seeing. So Amy S may be the size of a “plus-sized” model without being definition of “plus-sized” that non-celebrity people go by.

        1. Yes, models size 10 and up are considered “plus-size”, while plus-size clothing starts at size 16. So, our views of “what does plus size look like” are further distorted because the models advertising plus-size clothing are actually wearing straight-sizes.

      3. Come on, she is clearly overweight and plus sized, she can lie all she wants about what size she can squeeze herself into.

        1. A super rude comment at 12:10am? Please rethink your Wine Wednesdays.

    5. Amy said that she thinks it’s a bad message to send to women that she is “plus-size” because in reality she’s a size 6/8 and she doesn’t think women should equate a size 6/8 with “plus-size” (and all of the negative connotations society puts on being “plus-sized”).
      She also objected to Glamour including her in an edition based on her body size, period.
      I think she gets crapped on sometimes, in the same way Lena Dunham does, for trying to articulate complex and challenging thoughts in simple ways (like 140 characters on Twitter). The reality is that these conversations are complex and layered and it’s easier for people to pounce on one tweet or thought without acknowledging everything else she says on these issues and the surrounding context.

    6. I read her replies, and I didn’t take them the way you’re taking them at all – I think she makes a really valid point about how the media grossly distorts our perception of size. Your own post is a great example of this – you’re “skeptical” that she’s a 6 or 8, but I’ve been a 6/8 (and briefly a 4, that was one hungry summer!) and my body looked pretty similar to hers at that size. So why are you skeptical? Because we’re constantly having images of healthy-sized women shoved in our faces as “plus,” to the point where we’ve lost all touch with what sizes even look like, and we’re calling completely average-sized (and smaller than average sized!) women “plus.”

      If the goal of the Glamour issue was to focus on fashion for “plus-size” women, it’s super not helpful to point to Amy Schumer as a body role model, and it’s not terribly different than pointing to a size 00 model as a body role model for “average-size” women. It’s like, magazines have finally accepted that they “have to” include plus-size models/fashion in their pages, but they still don’t really want to mar their beautiful covers with “fatties,” so they’re just shrinking the definition of plus to suit their bias.

      1. Not the OP, but why am I skeptical that she’s a 6/8? Because she says she’s 5’7″, 160. I’m 5’8″, 140 and wear an 8 most places. I call BS.

        1. But everyone’s height and weight is going to translate into something slight different (weight distribution, bone density, measurements, preference re: fit, etc). I’m 5’8″, 150, and most of my clothes are an 8 – which I prefer to the 6 (which is probably my “correct” size) because I don’t like my clothes to be tight. So I completely believe that she wears the sizes she says she does.

        2. And I’m 5’8″, 160 and wear a 6 occasionally but more often an 8. Human bodies are very different and your height and weight doesn’t say that much about your size. Only a waist or hip measurement would give you information that is correlated to size.

        3. I am barely 5’1″ and I did not size out of size 8 until I hit 150 lbs. It REALLY varies person to person.

          1. In contrast, I’m 2 inches taller than you, anon for this, and am in a size 10/12 at 150 lbs. How sizes fit is so, so individual! To act like knowing someone’s height and weight is enough to know what size they “should” wear is ridiculous.

            And also, WHY DO WE EVEN HAVE TO “DEFEND” SCHUMER LIKE THIS? Are women so invested in being able to lay claim to a certain size that they have to tear down other women who don’t fit into their image of what their size “should” look like? Is it that threatening to conceive that someone who weighs more than you might wear a smaller size than you because of the vagaries of female body composition? I’m getting a really nasty strain of “but I wear a size 8 and I’m not FAT like HER” in these types of responses, and it’s so, so depressing. Like, it’s more important to you to protect your “thin person” cred than it is to acknowledge that, hey, it’s pretty stupid and offensive to make Amy-freaking-Schumer your headline story in a “plus-size” issue (never mind that the whole idea of having some sort of segregated “special” issue for people over a size 12 is offensive in the first place).

          2. KKH, I’m one of the people who said I’m __ height and __ weight and I wear __ size and it definitely was NOT intended to be “I’m not fat like her.” I don’t think Amy Schumer is fat at all! I was just really annoyed by the judgy comments who said they were skeptical she’s a 6/8 and was trying to drive home a point that knowing someone’s height and weight (to the extent we even know that, since we all know how reliable the Internet is) tells you next to NOTHING about their size.

          3. Anonymous at 4:30, to be clear, I was responding specifically to how “Not the OP” was framing sharing her height/weight/size – “I call BS because I am X height and X weight and I wear a bigger size than her” says to me, at least implicitly, that the person making that statement is somehow invested in being “skinnier than” and is claiming Schumer is “lying” about her size to preserve personal feelings of skinniness (which is gross, and also, why? Why would one’s feelings about her body and weight be threatened by someone else’s dress size?).

            Your framing is a different thing, and I (obviously) completely agree with you that height and weight tell us little to nothing about someone’s sizes!

        4. Have you considered that people have different builds? Not everyone is built the same way- bone structure and the amount of muscle someone has makes a huge difference.

          I’m the same weight Amy Schumer, but 6 inches shorter, and I wear an 8 regular/10P at J.Crew/Banana.

        5. Why do you care? She’s not allowed in the Special Size Six Club unless she really earned it or something? How tall you are and what you weigh and what size clothing you wear is complete irrelevant. Amy Schumer says she wears a size 6 or 8. I don’t see why any further inquiry is necessary.

        6. Just adding to the chorus of ‘what does a size 6/8 look like’?

          5’8, 160ish pounds and all of my clothes are actually either 6 or 8. I also am a former rower and a distance runner who has one of those bodies where people generally assume I’m 20 pounds lighter than I actually am.

          1. Same here. I’m 5’9/180 lbs and wear a 6. Thick thighs save lives.

          2. Mybodygallery.com is a website that has lots of pictures of how women can look different even at the same size/height/weight… it is an interesting site to browse.

        7. Think of this as a learning experience, enlightening your previously naive self. Clothing sizes do not all correspond to the same body types or sizes, especially when people have really different builds. I have a friend with a similar build to Amy Schumer, and her waist is actually smaller than mine, although I might seem like I’d be a much smaller size (straight build, bony upper body). She is just bigger-boned: taller, and broader-shouldered/hipped. I think Amy’s face shape contributes to that perception too. And the fact that soo many of the women that we see on tv or in movies are skewed so much towards the really thin end of the spectrum, our perception is that someone who is at all bigger than that is “fat” or “plus-sized.” Like how a lot of actors are actually really short in real life, or basketball players who look prett normal on the court or actually super tall; when we don’t have normal things to compare them to, our perception gets skewed.

          1. +1 to her round face making people interpret her body size as larger than it is. Also, I think her clothing choices are often a bit tight/short and not the most flattering, which creates an illusion that she’s big and squeezing into small clothes. I remember thinking she looked surprisingly great in the scene in Trainwreck where she took off her dress… It’s a rare person who looks better in underwear than clothes!

    7. I get why she was annoyed, though. In the media, you’re either a size 0-2 or a curvy plus size woman. She’s not a a plus size, though. They’re selling a special magazine designed for size 12+ up and it’s false advertising – like yeah, all of you size 22 ladies should really look like you’re a size 8, even though this size 8 comedian can’t actually wear the clothes from Lane Bryant that we’re pushing at you. There is a middle ground between thin model/actress and plus size and and nobody acknowledges it. Because she’s not a size 0, she’s a realistic model for what plus size should look like? No way. The whole “but she’s technically plus size!” argument is a red herring.

    8. I may have misinterpreted her comments, but I thought she was frustrated about being identified as plus size when really she’s pretty average sized. To call her plus size it sends a message of what average should be. If she is considered plus sized with a BMI of 26 or whatever then is average a stick thin waif with a BMI of 16?

  11. I stopped into my salon yesterday for a bang trim and my usual stylist was busy, so I ended up with someone new. She made my bangs WAY too short (despite my careful instructions) and now they look funny. Now I have to live with wonky bangs for the next few weeks. That’s my grievance of the day.

  12. Who here has just given up on social media? I’m in my 30s, my actual friends invite me to things via e-mail, phone, or text; I don’t need social media for business networking or to “advertise” myself professionally; and I’m naturally nosy but couldn’t care less about all the people I haven’t talked to in 10+ years patting themselves on the back for their pretty food, genius offspring, “thoughtful” commentary on current affairs, and spouse who remembered their birthday. I’m this close to pulling the plug on it all. Best idea ever, or will I regret it?

    1. It isn’t some sort of monumental decision. Just do it. If you regret it, you can always reactivate your profile.

      1. I second this. I use social media, but there are people I have unfollowed on FB because I don’t care much for their updates. Just unplug. You can always reactivate when the need arises. The only caveat I would have is the “I don’t need social media for business networking”….you may not need it now, but you might in future, say if you want to switch fields or you lose your job. It’s better to network before you need something. So with that in mind you can leave FB etc but maybe keep LinkedIn. Just my opinion.

    2. Facebook has been taken over by moms and grandmas and my married cousins posting baby pictures. I use twitter and instagram just to follow celebrities and keep up with breaking news. Basically, I don’t use any social media for actual communication with my friends anymore. I could lose it easily, but I do like following celebrities!

      1. +1 it’s moms and aunties and [cousins and friends] with babies

        I’m not against babies, but it gets annoying having to scroll through the cooing posts

    3. I think about it a lot – I only have facebook, no other social media – but I feel like I have several friend tiers. My closest friends will email or text me news if they can’t tell me in person. Most of the people on facebook are acquaintances or worse and I don’t really care about their news. But there is a middle group of people I don’t really have much offline relationship with, but still care about and enjoying checking in with from time to time on social media and hearing about major events about their lives, and I fear that if I deactivated Facebook I would lose the connection with this group. So that’s kept me hanging on, for now at least.

    4. I have accounts that I haven’t checked in months, and I don’t feel like I’ve missed out on anything at all. It helps that my closest friends aren’t active users and some of the more annoying people I knew in high school are super-active on FB. Lots of people have written articles about how social media makes people feel bad because it’s just a curated version of their lives, and distorts reality. Try it for a few weeks and see how it makes you feel.

    5. How could you regret it? You can always try it then start up again later if you want, right? Maybe I have no idea how these things work because I don’t do social media, lol. I’m just not the interested in spending time on it and I value my privacy/introverted-ness.

    6. Why do you need to close the account to not use it? You can leave your Facebook account active and not log in regularly. It’ll email you or send you a push alert on the rare occasion that someone does sent you an event invite that way. Having an account doesn’t mean you have to read all the boring status updates.

      1. Yeah, just stop checking Facebook. Or delete it from your phone, and only check it when you actually are on a computer and want to check it. I don’t get the angst over it.

    7. I pulled the plug in social media. It was making me hate people and causing me to feel down about my situation. I don’t regret it one bit and that was six years ago

  13. I bought the AGL Cap Toe Smoking Flat in black, and I LOVE them – really cute and SO comfortable. I’d like to get a pair of their ballet flats, but all the ones they have out now seem to have a buckle across the toe and do not fit my aesthetic at all. Have they ever released a ballet flat with no buckle, all one color, no fussy details added? Or is this what their shoes always look like?

  14. Serious question: what are the dressiest sweat pants you’ve seen lately? Where can I look for this?

  15. Calling on the wisdom of the hive.

    I’m a 40 year old 2nd year associate. I spent my first couple years out of law school doing policy work, and none of my close friends went to a firm, so I’m trying to figure out if I’m justifiably going crazy or not.

    Is it normal to use junior associates for ONLY data entry and proofreading? I’ve been with my firm for 6 months and I’ve only written 2 memos. My policy job (and career before law school) entailed lots of responsibility, so I’m having a very hard time adjusting to not having any substantive work. I’m trying to figure out if the problem is just my misperceptions of how things are supposed to work, and if so, I’ll correct myself, or if this is kinda nuts.

    I knew I’d have to start over at the bottom, but data entry? Brutal.

    1. What department are you in? The only “data entry” kind of task I ever had as a junior in lit was privilege logs; not fun but they have to get done and there is a finite end to the project. More importantly, what type of work are other 2nd yrs doing? Do you think (or know) that they are doing research, writing sections of briefs etc. while you’re only doing data entry? Or does it seem like everyone is doing the same kind of work? If it’s the latter, then I’d say that’s just the work your firm has for juniors right now. If it’s the former, then think about whether they’re “side tracking” you maybe bc of age — maybe they think you can’t put in the same hrs or weekends as the 26 yr olds.

    2. What? No. Are you in litigation or corporate? Biglaw or a smaller firm? Either way, this is not a good sign. Are you part of a team? Can you ask your senior associate for some more substantive work? As a 2nd year, I was drafting briefs, sitting in on depositions, making (easy) appearances, and drafting discovery requests and responses, and, of course, reviewing docs. I don’t even know what you mean by “data entry.”

    3. Absolutely not. My first six month I did a few fairly mindless, paralegal-level type tasks (although nothing I would describe as “data entry”; I cite-checked briefs, proofread things, did some document review, etc.) but I also did a ton of legal research, drafted discovery requests and responses, wrote simple briefs and wrote sections of more complex briefs.

    4. I’m in regulatory compliance, specifically healthcare. No litigation. The ACA is where the data entry comes in. Groan.

      All the other juniors have this type of work.

      I’ve asked for more substantive work, but this seems to be what there is. The seniors write the memos and ask us to proofread.

      I’m leaning heavily toward going back to health policy. It’s challenging and rewarding.

      1. Hey me too! 2nd year associate, regulatory healthcare, etc. etc. I could have written that post myself!

        1. Well, that makes me feel better…sort of? Lol

          Are you expecting it to get better at your firm as you get more experience? It seems like my firm doesn’t let you do anything substantive until about the 5th year, and I genuinely believe I might die if I have to keep this up haha.

          1. No, but that’s why my biggest-of-the-big law firm is bleeding associates. :) I’m looking. Unfortunately, healthcare isn’t a big thing in this geographic region, so I’m even looking to transition into a different area of law…which makes me really sad.

            OP, I’d really like to take you to lunch. Can you tell me your general region of the country?

      2. I’m a 3rd year health care regulatory at a big law firm (with a top tier hc group) and I would say that none of the associates, including 1st years, do data entry at my firm. Its 90% substantive. It might just be a your-firm thing.

    5. Doc review/due diligence is all I do in my big law job. I’m a second year associate. Depends on the firm.

  16. I would love a good gift idea for my sister-in-law’s birthday. She is turning 36. She is married without kids and she loves running, cooking, tech gadgets and reading, and she works as an investment manager in the bay area. Successful gifts in the past have included a statement necklace from J. Crew, Cook’s Illustrated cookbook, and a Lepliage tote bag. I’d love to get her a gift card, but it just doesn’t seem personal enough. Any suggestions from the hive? Anything new and trendy out there?

    1. I am in love with my set of ten (count ’em! TEN!) glass nesting bowls. They make it so much fun to cook dinner because I have a bowl for every ingredient! I got mine at Blue Apron but they also have them at Crate and Barrel.

      http://www.crateandbarrel.com/10-piece-2.25-10.25-glass-nesting-bowl-set/s591303

      Also the colored baker’s ones are fun too: http://www.crateandbarrel.com/set-of-5-baker-nesting-bowls/s314638?source=igodigital&_=1459978481908

      Yes, I am a nesting bowl addict…

        1. I may or may not have, like, seven sets of nesting bowls. And that is after running away from home and leaving several sets behind…

      2. I love my nesting bowls! I’ve given several sets as engagement and shower gifts too.

    4. Could you talk to her spouse about something she needs for running? I know my roommate has talked about wanting to try wireless headphones, but i don’t think she’d actually purchase them for herself right now.

    5. Wow, your sister in law could be me a few years ago! I actually love gift cards to my favorite running store. Fun new running stuff is always great. I’ve loved the jewelry my sister has gotten me- often times from local artists. Sundance also has great jewelry. In terms of cooking, I’m pretty picky and by 36 had a well-stocked kitchen (to note, now at 42, getting ready to set up a second house and can furnish 99% of the kitchen from stuff I already have).

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