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Sales of note for 8.30.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
- Bergdorf Goodman – Final Days Designer Sale, up to 75% off; extra 20% off sale
- Boden – 20% off
- Brooks Brothers – Extra 25% off clearance
- Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
- Lo & Sons – Summer sale, up to 50% off (ends 9/2)
- Madewell – Extra 40% off sale; extra 50% off select denim; 25% off fall essentials
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Rothy's – End of season sale, up to 50% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear in the big sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
- White House Black Market – Up to 70% off sale
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And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Senior Attorney
Wow, great suit!
Classic question for you ladies: Hubby and I are going to NYC for a wedding and will have a couple of days free. What is your favorite thing to do? We have show tickets covered. Thinking of Tenement Museum but are open to pretty much anything including Statue of Liberty/Ellis Island (but worry about weekend crowds). Did High Line last year so not super into that this trip.
Anonymous
Love the Tenement Museum. I’d also do the Met and a Central Park wall if it’s nice. Love Ellis island but I’d skip actually going to lady liberty. Going up to the top of One World Trade is spectacular and worth it
Ellen
Kat, this is a great suit. It reminds me of Jackie Kennedy Onassis! I wish I were pretty like here.
As to the OP, I Agree as to the Met; also I LOVE the MOOMA, which is due to reopen on October 21. I can’t wait to go back there to see it all new and revamped, and am even MORE happy that I managed to convince Dad that I would NOT be happy if he made me live in a condo at 53 W 53rd (next to MOOMA). Instead, Dad now has me looking at Hudson Yards, but that is not a close walk for me, but he said it would be good for my tuchus to walk more. FOOEY!
Clementine
Always and forever, the Met. With tea or a cocktail while you’re there. See the current exhibit on ‘Camp’.
If it’s in the fall, the Cloisters are beautiful.
NOLA
Not sure if you mean the Met Museum or Opera, but I would suggest both! My favorite thing to do is walk up Fifth Ave, or down Broadway to the neighborhoods in the Village and lower Manhattan.
Anon
The museum.
Is it Friday yet?
+1 especially the roof garden, if it’s still open when you visit.
Anon
Yep the Met. Can’t do it all in one day so think about what you’d really like to see ahead of time.
And then do ALL of your holiday shopping in the gift shop!
Anon
You need reservations for the Statue of Liberty and they’re normally booked up months in advance.
Senior Attorney
Well. Okay then. LOL
Is it Friday yet?
If you want a good view of the Statute, there’s always the Staten Island Ferry. On a nice day, it’s really fun to pack a picnic with a nice bottle of wine or two and sit outside and enjoy the views. You can ride back and forth indefinitely for free (though they do make you get off and then back on again at each end).
NYC Girl
You can also see a pretty good view of the statue of liberty from battery city/battery park!
Lizbet
We did the food tasting tour of Greenwich Village and LOVED it. Great history of the area, including some of the building architecture, great food and good guides.
anon
I haven’t done that one but food tours have become one of my favorite things to do on vacation. I’ve done them in NOLA, Seattle, etc.
Anon
The AIANY does architecture boat tours around the city – you can circumnavigate manhattan, do a tour of bridges and infrastructure, or tour industrial waterways. Back on dry land, Open House New York has great programming and makes it possible to visit some “secret” NYC spaces.
A great day could also be renting bikes and riding the Hudson River greenway from north to south, stopping in Chelsea to see the Amy Sherald exhibition (she did Michelle Obama’s official portrait) and then continuing south to have golden hour drinks at Grand Banks, a boat docked on the Hudson.
Annie
Tenement museum (combine with Katz’s deli), natural history museum (combine with a walk through central park), Staten Island ferry round trip (free, see the statute of liberty and all of lower Manhattan, go in the afternoon and buy a beer on board if you’re so inclined), and Brooklyn Bridge Park (delightful and amazing views of Manhattan).
Anonymous
If you do the Tenement Museum, also stop by the following LES food establishments: Kossar’s for bialys (like bagels but better); Pickle Guys for literally everything you could think of but picked (plus traditional sour garlic pickles); Economy Candy for literally every candy you thought was discontinued but somehow they have it plus amazing chocolate covered pretzels. The Essex Market is also great for local small vendors/snacks. (I live nearby and go to all of these places regularly. Not just for tourists!)
Anonymous
If you want to do things more off the beaten path (and are willing to travel further from Manhattan), I like going to Governor’s Island, either the Bronx or Brooklyn Botanical Garden, and Wave Hill. Wave Hill can be especially nice in the fall as it has good views of the Palisades, and they have an interesting art program.
Anonymous
Can I put in a plug for Brooklyn Heights?? The Promenade has amazing views of Lower Manhattan – great place to see the sunset. Also, awesome restaurants in the area including my personal favorite Noodle Pudding on Henry Street.
Suburban
+ 1 lived there for a decade! Would add a plug for walking the Brooklyn bridge.
NYC Girl
Yes but not during peak hours on weekends! It’s especially beautiful first thing in the morning or at sunset.
Of Counsel
I loved the Tenement Museum, but you might want to get your tickets in advance. When I went, the tour I was on sold out about an hour before it started and people had to wait for the next one. Hope you have a great trip!
Julie Cantor-Weinberg
Definitely Tenement Museum but also go to Chelsea Market which is right near the Hi-Line. Yum!
Anonymous
Yassss Alicia Florick werk
Irony
For years, I had a toxic boss who made my life much harder than it should have been. This person has gotten where she is by throwing others under the bus, so much that it’s an ingrained part of her professional reputation now.
I was always very cordial and professional but we are very different people.
We live in the same neighborhood. Guess whose kids are now playground best buddies?? Because of course.
Monday
Sounds like the start of a Liane Moriarty novel!
anon
It really does!
Anon
Oooof!
Anon
Oh I feel this so hard. I have a very awkward relationship with an attorney at my ex-firm, and our daughters are in the same K class this year. So far they don’t seem to be buddies and fingers crossed it stays that way. I would die if I had to go to a playdate at her house.
Anon
This seems the sort of relationship that should start and end at the playground. No playdates. It doesn’t matter how great of a friend my kid is with someone, no one is welcome in my home if I dislike them that much, and I doubt the other mother would be okay with a car drop off.
Anon
Time for a new playground!!! Yuck
Ellen
I only once had a female boss when I was a CIT at a sleep away camp. She was very mean to me b/c all the boys at the men’s bunks as well as the male counselors took a great interest in me, b/c I was all of 16 years old and was actually very good looking back then, tho not beautiful like Rosa. The woman was the counselor in my bunk, and she could not stand it that I got all the attention when she got very little, except from one wormy guy with pimples who she had wrapped around her finger. He was gross, but I think the 2 of them were having $ex in the auxiliary room off the indoor gym, b/c I heard noises coming from there, then saw them walking out together, looking at each other in THAT way. I guess she got thru it by not having to have to look at him throughout the time he was doing whatever he was doing. Dad says she was no beauty, but most men that age will settle for almost anything with female parts that are willing. DOUBEL FOOEY!
Anonymous
My 3rd grader has been BFFs with the girl down the street who’s mother and I….will never be friends. Like, I can tell both of us have been gently steering them to broaden their social circles (not replace, but augment!) for 4 years now, but alas, they continue to be joined at the hip. I’m not personally wild on the girl myself and I’m sure my kid annoys Other Mom too.
Kids ;).
anon
Wow, this is stunning.
Anon
I just bought a new (to me) car in 2018, but all the horrible environmental news in the past couple weeks has me thinking of trading it in. It’s a 2017 Toyota Highlander, so it’s not bad on gas – 21 city/27 highway – but it’s not great either. Would it be wasteful to trade a perfectly good car for a hybrid? I drive a fair amount – one hour each way for work (though it’s only 12 miles – DC FTW) and we generally take weekend trips out of the DC area to the mountains or beach (and our dogs come along, so we need room for them). (And no, there’s no public transit available where I live.)
Anon
I think it’s way better for the environment to keep your car for a long time than to drive a hybrid. Keep this car for 20+ years, buy hybrid next time.
anon
Don’t think this is necessarily true given how much driving the OP does. A quick G**gle search shows that lifetime emissions are 80-90% from driving the car than its production, particularly as newer cars are more efficient to produce. I’d buy electric or a hybrid, used if possible, and drive it for a long time. Although there’s also the consideration if you’re plugging in, how green is your grid…which 12 miles out from the DC area could not be great but hopefully will get better over the life of the car.
Anonymous
This. But also read up about how to optimize fuel efficiency. E.g. minimize use of air conditioning – can you park in the garage so the car is kept cool and you don’t need as much AC.
Anon
Yes, this.
Some of the chemistry/car nerds did out the math and determined that you’re better off driving a 1973 Corvette than a brand-new hybrid, simply because the environmental costs of producing and disposing of cars are so high. I think people are programmed to believe that poor gas mileage is the biggest environmental problem possible with cars, but that’s simply not the case. (All other things being equal, better gas mileage is better, but all other things are not always equal.)
Worry about yourself
Maybe, maybe not. If it’s traded in now, it’s still new enough to be sold as a certified preowned vehicle. If it was older and at risk for being auctioned off for parts after the trade-in, with some of the car likely to end up in a landfill or junkyard once the good stuff was taken out, I’d advise OP to consider a private sale or keep driving the car until the cost of repairs are no longer worth it.
Blueberries
I think it depends on various factors.
Can your car go to someone who would have a car no matter what, but drive it less?
Does your drive involve a lot of idling, especially near where people walk/bike/wait for a bus?
Not far from me, there’s a ton of idling on neighborhood streets because traffic going toward a bridge backs up. More electric cars would help the people who live there, particularly the children, who tend to feel a lot of the effects of the exhaust.
However, even on my commute, where there’s not much traffic, I appreciate the popularity of electric cars—it makes biking and walking, which are already popular, more pleasant and healthier.
Anonymous
Idling drives me crazy. We need the Swiss laws where cars auto shut off after 30 seconds of idling. They turn back on again as soon as you press the gas peddle.
DCR
I’m assuming the OP isn’t just going to junk the car or drive it off a cliff. If she instead sells it to someone else who is going to drive a big, not great on gas car (no matter what the OP does) and buys a hybrid that she drives in to the ground, I think that is the best option for the environment.
BKDC
How about framing it as a safety issue. If you an SUV hits a pedestrian, the pedestrian is likely to die. My family of four gets by in a small sedan.
Anon
…isn’t a pedestrian quite likely to die whenever they get hit by a car, at least when the car is moving above a certain speed? This seems like a very weird way of framing the issue, especially to someone who already owns an SUV.
Anon
KE = (1/2)*m*v^2, so velocity matters a lot more than mass.
Anon
This is the kind of nerdy clap back I am Here. For.
Signed, a fellow nerd
Anon.
Slow clap from a fellow science nerd! (I wish we could post memes.)
T
lol YAS I am here for this, too
Anonymous
This. The exponential increase in pedestrian deaths happens at speeds above 20mph. Drive 20mph or less on residential streets and most pedestrians will survive any collusion regardless of the vehicle type.
Anon
Honestly if you stay off your phone while driving your Highlander, you’ll be fine around pedestrians.
Of Counsel
If you hit a pedestrian with a car, they are likely to die regardless of whether it is an SUV or a Prius – and the SUV is likely to be safer for the passengers. (And I drive a 5 year old small sedan that is rated at 31/40 to this is not a manifestation of love of big cars.) By all means, drive energy efficient cars, but safety for hypothetical pedestrians you might hit should not be a consideration.
Also 100% holding on to your current car as long as you can safely drive it. Without hard numbers to back it up, I suspect the tendency to replace cars every 2-4 years is more of an environmental problem that the difference between fuel efficiency of a hybrid vs. the car you have.
Anon
Who replaces cars every 2-4 years!? I know I drive them longer than most (~20 years or until they require a repair that is commensurate with the value of the car), but I thought most people drove them at least 5, with many people driving each car more like 10 years.
Anonymous
A lot of people do. Many leases are only two years and then people trade it in for a new car. My own parents replaced their vehicles every 4 years and they were very much middle class. We’re currently driving vehicles that are 12 and 7 years old but our neighbors have had at least two- three new cars in that same time frame. If you buy in black, the color doesn’t date the car like some of the other colors do.
anon
According to NHTSA, SUVs are more dangerous to pedestrians because the higher front end means the collision is more likely to result in torso injuries vs. a broken leg. Speed is what matters the most, though, so please comply with speed limits when you’re driving on city streets, people.
Anonymous
I am pretty sure that a 2-year-old car or 4-year-old car being traded in does not go to the junkyard.
Never too many shoes...
As an insurance lawyer, your theory does not hold up.
Anon
That’s pretty bad on gas, tbh.
Anonymous
Keep this car for now but rethink how much car you need when you replace it. We’re fine with two kids and two dogs in a Matrix. You don’t need a Highlander just because you have dogs.
Matrix
How big are your dogs?!
Anonymous
How big are your dogs?!
Anonymous
I think selling a 2017 Highlander and buying something that fits your family long term is fine. It’s not like the Highlander is going to the junk heap-it will be used by another family who would otherwise buy another car. I find it weird that people would advise you to keep a car for 20 years when you already think it’s not a good fit. That said, I bought the Lexus hybrid SUV and I don’t think it’s that much of an improvement over the Highlander. My current MPG is 27 and it requires premium fuel. I think the only true eco friendly vehicles are fully electric.
Anonymous
You don’t have to go electric to be eco-friendly. An SUV is not mandatory. Plenty of people have way more car than they need. Like friends of ours who camp three times a year and ‘need’ an SUV to fit all their stuff. A small car and a couple weekend SUV rentals would be way way more fuel efficient.
Anon
FWIW, it’s hard to find station wagons these days. Subaru makes them, and there are expensive ones – BMW, Audi (finally bringing a wagon to the US market, but it’s $116k), Volvo. Not much under $40k new.
It’s sad, because wagons are a great alternative to SUVs. You get most of the cargo room, better gas mileage, and you’re not driving some big thing that blocks the sight line of fellow drivers.
Anon
Station wagon 4 lyfe! I kept the last one 11 years, am 5 years into the current one and still going strong.
Anon
Buick (!) has a new one that’s actually really attractive and affordable! We live on a gravel road – if it were just a teensy bit more athletic, I’d snap it up. But for city drivers, it looks perfect!
Anon
You on the gravel road – you need a Volvo XC70
Buy it a couple of years used
nona
or a FWD (most people don’t actually need the AWD), hatchback sedan. Or a small crossover vehicle. I bet you can find something with 30, 35+ mpg for both city and highway.
Used to be a manual transmission would be better mpg (and still is in many cases), though the latest numbers I saw for Mazda (because they’ve got manuals in every sedan trim line) had the automatic beating out the manuals (at like 40 mpg?)
Anon
I don’t think there is anything wrong with trading in one used car for another, they’ve both already been produced and you aren’t increasing demand via the switch – don’t buy a brand new hybrid. Although, look into how much of your area’s energy is produced with coal v natural gas v renewable, etc.
Without switching cars, the best thing you can do is drive your car wisely in a way that preserves gas mileage (ex. staying at a steady reduced speed (speeding up quickly and needlessly), stay aerodynamic (don’t strap a bunch of stuff to our cars and drive with the window up), combine as many trips as possible and use public transport when you can (for example there is no transit out of our area but when we get close to town we use the park and ride and take the rail or bus to our destination), and stay up on maintenance and tire pressure.
anon8
Random pet peeve – I hate the term “awesome sauce” and I just heard someone use that on a conference call at work.
Anon
For a while when “nothing burger” was big, I used to hear the senior attorneys around the office use it. No. No one other than TMZ should use that phrase.
anon8
Ew, no! Glad I have not heard that one.
Anon
I kind of love that one, assuming it’s said a bit tongue in cheek.
anon
I hate that term so much. Fox news (I hate read) and it’s so snide and unprofessional.
Vicky Austin
Was 2007 calling?
RNMP
That was my first thought as well. I havent heard anyone say that in a lonnnnnnng time.
Anon
That’s me and “amazeballs” at work. Hate, hate, hate. Generally hate when people try to be cute/quirky at work – “holy shiitake mushrooms!” and stuff like that drives me up the wall. The worst one I ever heard in a professional context was “holy shart” – so awful.
Cat
I think that’s even worse than the profanity it’s intended to replace!
Anon
It is, it is way worse. It means something different, and equally if not more unpleasant.
Anon
And it’s somehow more graphic. *shudders*
Cat
I am aware of the meaning and that’s why I agree that it’s worse! Ew.
Vicky Austin
I’d sooner say the real thing. That’s embarrassing.
“Holy shiitake mushrooms” reminds me of a camper I encountered working at summer camps in college. He was from a religious and sheltered home, but we could tell he was trying to fit in with his cabin peers, and I just remember him saying, SO indignantly, “Oh, expletive!” Points for vocabulary, I guess?
Anonymous
My dad said “Oh, expletive!” when I was very young to try to keep me from learning the actual words.
Anonymous
This whole thread is making me lol hard! Like the HIMYM when everything is A1 at Goliath for a while.
Worry about yourself
What about the phrase “awko-taco” (acco-taco? acko taco?) in place of “awkward”?
Anonymous
Follow-up question from the poster wondering about looking polished. Somebody mentioned they only pair black with other neutrals and that black with bright colors can look garish. I have a bright green/teal blouse and I struggle with what to pair with. I’m usually somebody who defaults to black, but agree that I don’t really like the way it looks like with a black blazer. What color blazer or sweater would you pair with sort of a jewel tone bright green blouse?
Anonymous
Navy
Anon
+1. Navy also works perfectly with mustard yellow or burnt orange shades.
Anon
+2 I’m the commenter on wearing black with neutrals and I’d wear a teal blouse with navy. Should look smashing!
Cat
Navy or charcoal.
Anon
Grey, too! Grey is my favorite color for clothing, honestly. Goes with everything.
pugsnbourbon
All gray everything, all day, every day.
anon
likewise
PolyD
Gray. Khaki. Olive if it’s a more blue teal.
I also will loosen the no black with brights rule if the the black is part of a black + neutral print – like, maybe black and white striped cardigan with bright green.
Anon
I actually think dark camel/light warm brown would look great.
anon
Agree with everything that’s been mentioned so far (esp navy!) but I think black is just fine.
Anonymous
Navy or light grey.
anon
Navy and gray
Senior Attorney
Leopard!
Samantha
I am a pear shape and looking for a skirt that is work appropriate, knee length, yet slightly flared (not pencil), and has pockets. This turns out to be a bit of a unicorn. Prefer a little flared for comfortable walking without a slit, and I’d ideally like it to cover my kneecap as well (I buy tall dresses from Boden for this reason).
Work is corporate and business casual – people wear khakis, solid skirts, dresses, black pants etc. but no jeans. For a skirt to be appropriate I’d prefer it to be a solid neutral color in a thick-ish fabric.
I am looking to avoid corduroy and the only skirts with pockets I see are denim or corduroy minis. One reason for the pocket is that I can clip my work badge onto it, otherwise I clip onto the waistband and it digs into my waist when I sit. Also, pockets are just cool to have. Suggestions?
Anon
Honestly, I don’t think this skirt exists, primarily because of the pocket and flared pieces. What do you mean by flare? Do you want flounces? Do you want a skirt shaped like a bell? Neither of those are in style (and are horribly unattractive silhouettes IMHO) right now so will be much harder to find. Honestly I think you need to just give up on the flare and accept the slit – that’s what it’s there for, or be open to loose or A-line skirts. A skirt with pockets will always read on the casual end and unless super well made (i.e. $$$), the pockets will stick out, especially on a pear.
SHEIN has a lot of nice skirts with pockets, as does Eshakti.
The Beagle has Landed
I normally wear pencil skirts but I love this A-line from Betabrand that has become a real workhorse for me. It’s a pull-on but I can tuck into it because the fabric is sturdy, and it has at least 5 pockets that I know of! Three with zippers, two hidden (one in the attached shorts under the skirt and the other in the waistband that fits a card or a bit of cash.)
https://www.amazon.com/Betabrand-Womens-Work-Skort-Pinstripe/dp/B01N90RBQH?psc=1&SubscriptionId=AKIAILSHYYTFIVPWUY6Q&tag=duckduckgo-brave-20&linkCode=xm2&camp=2025&creative=165953&creativeASIN=B01N90RBQH
Also, at Betabrand in black – this is the one I have:
https://www.betabrand.com/womens/skirts/womens-black-yoga-sport-skirt-skort
Original Moonstone
I really like this. Also, I think it would a very practical garment for secret agents/spies/hitwomen.
Samantha
Yes, I’m open to A-line skirts, that is what I meant by flare. I was thinking fit and flare = A line but sounds like that’s not the case.
Leatty
Sounds like you want an a-line skirt. Nordstrom has one in red that otherwise meets your criteria:
https://shop.nordstrom.com/s/anne-klein-crepe-a-line-skirt/5347637?origin=category-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FWomen%2FClothing%2FSkirts&color=pinot
Anon
I’d try eshakti or mod cloth. Eshakti in particular because you can usually specify pockets and length.
Anon
In fact, here’s one
https://www.eshakti.com/shop/Skirts/Side-button-front-poplin-skirt-CL0069209
Vicky Austin
All the skirts I’ve ever ordered from Uniqlo have had pockets. However, as a fellow supposed-to-have-my-badge-on-at-all-times, have you ruled out a lanyard of some kind? I much prefer having a consistent place for mine.
kk
What’s your budget? I have found a few- but I’m assuming you’re not looking to spend prada dollars? https://www.saksfifthavenue.com/prada-nylon-gabardine-utility-pocket-skirt/product/0400011036930
Oh, here’s a less expensive pick!
https://www.farfetch.com/shopping/women/maison-margiela-a-line-patch-pocket-skirt-item-14437632.aspx?
kk
Ok, fine, if not prada, here’s an actual option: https://www.landsend.com/products/womens-ponte-knit-midi-skirt/id_339202_59?sku_0=::BLA
Anon
Fellow pear!
Talbots a couple seasons back had fab a-line skirts for winter – they were knee length and came in a bunch of tweedy wool colors – heather gray, royal blue, true red, ivory, etc, etc. I bought one in every color and wear one a day basically every day in winter with black tights and boots. I’m hoping they bring them back this winter.
I’ve also seen ONE on sale at J.Crew right now and ONE at Ann Taylor right now.
anonforthis
So I recently got assigned to a new assistant. My old assistant was covering more than 10 lawyers, so we hired someone new. I was not involved in the hiring process.
The new assistant is obviously very inexperienced, and she clearly hasn’t been trained. I am a junior partner at a small litigation boutique, so I do both partner things and a lot of senior associate things, like day to day case management, sending out discovery, scheduling, etc. I have basically stopped asking her to do anything for me because even doing something very simple like booking a hotel, scheduling a deposition, filling out the Rule 45 subpoena form, scanning documents, making discovery shells, etc. has to be completely redone (by me) because it was not done anywhere near correct. And yes, I have tried to explain what she is doing wrong, but I feel like she does not listen or read my emails – what I get back is still not correct no matter how many times I try, which is why I just do administrative tasks myself. The problem with that is that it is greatly increasing my work hours – I am getting pushback from more senior partners that I do too much low level stuff, but I don’t know what else to do since I have no one to help me.
Is this something I should raise with someone? Who? The other attorneys who were assigned to her? Senior partner? Office manager? The other assistants at my firm (two of them) do all of these tasks and more completely seemlessly.
Anon
The more senior assistants should train the junior assistant. Talk to whoever’s in charge of them (office manager? senior-most assistant?) and let them know your new assistant is really struggling and needs training ASAP. The correct answer here is NOT for you to do admin work – it’s for the admin to learn to do her job.
Anon
+1 also, as a partner, do you have standing to say that you tried with this assistant and demand to be reassigned to one of the competent assistants? Ideally all assistants will be good, but your time is worth more than an associate’s time.
anonforthis
I likely do, although any associates would too – we only have a handful of associates, so I really can’t have them being bogged down in nonsense either. Our associates are also exceptional and all senior, unlike many firms.
Part of me wants to avoid what you suggest because I don’t want this woman to lose her job, but at the same time, I don’t think she is qualified to have the job in the first place. I am concerned she isn’t even trainable, but perhaps she is if someone would devote time to the training.
Anon
1) Require her to go to the former assistant for questions first, that can be a huge part of her training without having to involve you, especially since former assistant knows firm practices and your preferences.
2) Require her to come to you questions before she acts, and with the action plan for complicated tasks. Even a five minute meeting helps to clarify any open questions.
2) Remember to write very detailed instructions. Some people are not self-starters and don’t try to figure things out for themselves first (which is a big issue but one that can be managed around to a certain extent). Literally write out what you need as if she were an idiot (she might not be, but is apparently acting like it). I very much think managers, and specifically lawyers, have a hard time putting themselves in the shoes of assistants and other admin. Lawyers think they are being clear or that someone should “be able to figure out” the holes in their instructions, but many can’t. You are probably not being detailed enough. For example, you may forward a conference email and say “book a flight and hotel for me”. That leaves a lot of info out: what should the pricing of flight and hotel be, do we have preferences on providers, should you arrive day before or day of, do you prefer direct or does price matter more, who do we use for booking, will you uber or book a car, what type of room, etc.
anonforthis
So on number 3, I feel that. But I truly do not think that is the issue. I was not clear on the level of errors I am talking about.
Booking travel is an excellent example. I would never say “book a flight and a hotel for me.” Way too vague. The one time I asked her to help with travel, I told her exactly what hotel to book and what flight to book, but she comes back with a different hotel that cost 3 times as much in the wrong part of the city and a flight into the wrong airport, and all for the wrong days with the flight and hotel being for different wrong days. After that, I had to spend time on the phone with the hotel and airline to cancel everything, and then I just rebooked myself. I have obviously been doing all of my own travel booking since then.
I also cannot seem to train her to do extremely simple tasks like scan signature pages, and insert them into a PDF, such as for a subpoena or attorney declaration. I have written out detailed instructions and done demonstrations on this on her computer. I never get it back right. So I do that myself too.
I repeatedly ask her to go to my former assistant for help, but she clearly doesn’t.
I am kind of at my wit’s end, so I think I’ll start by talking to the office manager.
Anon
Whoa, you are doing far too much work on this. If she messes up your travel plans, another assistant can fix them. If she cannot scan a .pdf, she can ask another assistant or an associate for help.
Do not be that partner who acts like the office mother.
anon
Honestly, this sounds bad enough that I would simply say she needs to be replaced.
Anon
Well, in the context of these issues I feel bad saying this but, she is an idiot. Was she a disability hire (and I say this being completely serious) or a nepotistic hire? Not being able to scan a document and booking entirely different things than what you specified seems like someone that can’t understand simple instructions or your language (she speaks English, right?)
This is almost past incompetence and veers into malicious – maybe she’s doing it on purpose to be fired and collect unemployment? Either way, I’d go to the office manager with these exact examples to prove that the level of competence is too low to train and get her replaced. Literally a fresh highschool graduate that can show up to work on time would be better.
anonforthis
Yeah ok thanks for this. I am so not trying to be the office mom. Our staff is stretched to their limits and it is hard to get timely help from anyone else because of that. That is why they hired someone else. But when it comes to spending aggravating hours going back and forth with my assistant trying to get something done right, versus taking 30 minutes and doing it myself, I obviously pick the latter.
Funny you say a “fresh high school graduate.” One of my partner’s high school kids worked here this summer, and there wasn’t a great plan as to her role. I had her do tons of tasks for me like this including travel, scanning, sending things out for service, discovery shells, saving stuff to our server. It was great for me, she was easy to train, and she seemed to enjoy doing more than making coffee. Once she left for college, I really began to feel the pain.
Anon
Wow, yeah, this is nuts. Push back hard to the office manager. This woman is clearly not qualified. (What kind of human being doesn’t even try to get the days of travel and hotel right?!)
Anon
Yes, it’s actually good you are getting pushback because that gives an opening to say X assistant needs to shadow and be trained by Y senior assistant for a month and if they don’t substantially improve, they need to be fired and find someone more experienced. Workplaces need to either hire experienced people or they need to train them – those are the only options!!
Ribena
I take back everything I’ve ever said about being happy to be just-groomed-enough. I’m watching The Hour and craving Romola Garai’s character’s look. I’m assuming a round barrel hairbrush will help me to curl my hair when blow drying?
Anon
That seems like a lot of work. Go old school and sleep in soft rollers on 90% dry hair.
Ribena
Unfortunately I go to the gym every morning and have to wash and blow dry my hair after that anyway. Might not work for my lifestyle then.
Anon
I use hot rollers. Yeah I know 1970 is calling and wants its hair tools back, but I’ve never found anything better for smooth volume and soft curls than hot rollers.
Anonymous
Yeah I adore Romola Garai’s look generally and in The Hour and hot rollers are def the way to get it
anne-on
I have been SO tempted to buy hot rollers for this very thing. Can you share which ones you like? What was the learning curve like? I am great at doing a curled under blow out, or a super straight blowout but cannot do curls with a brush to save my life.
Anon
Infiniti Pro by conair smooth waves mega volume. $37ish on Amazon.
Anon
+1 hot rollers are great. I may look like a grandma but I can eat breakfast/finish getting ready while my hair does itself. Also I find wayyyyy less heat damage from hot rollers relative to other heat tools
Worry about yourself
I just started watching Fleabag, and I’ve been drooling over her short, curly hair! I know that look is more work than I’m willing to put in though.
I know I'm being petty
I write policy for the government, and a friend of mine is a policy analyst at a think tank. This means my friend reads the policy and legislation I write. This friend always talks about our jobs as if they are the same, I know I need to let it go but it still grinds my gears every time. Thank you for reading my rant.
Anon
Yes, you’re being petty. Her job is different but know she doesn’t just “read policy”, she reviews it, analyzes it in context of specific real world circumstances, and recommends actions accordingly.
She could say the same thing about you, that you write policy that is difficult to administer, out of touch with the real world, and/or influenced by corporate interests and pork.
In short, stop being a snob, both your jobs are needed to make the world work.
Anon
+1
I guarantee the friend has noticed your attitude. You’re the a-hole here, not her.
Anonymous
As someone who is government lawyer with a significant amount of time spent on regulatory development and policy work, yes you are being petty. I’d be super excited to have a friend that understood what I worked on and I’d totally be mining for new ideas all the time.
Marilla
Same!! As a government policy analyst it would be so nice to have a friend who understood what I did and was interested in discussing :)
Anon
Yes, those are the people you have good relationships with because they can provide valuable input! Laws don’t write themselves – the government needs input from those it’s seeking to govern in order to effectively govern. Think of your friend as a safe place to bounce ideas off of before going public with them. Your boss would much rather you vet them before s/he introduces the bill!
Signed,
Lobbyist who frequently provides requested input ;)
Anonymous
As someone who analyzes policy is often appalled at how poorly drafted most of it is, I am not sure I would be bragging about that distinction!
Anon
Haha true!
I know I'm being petty
It’s a good thing the policy I write probably isn’t in the same country or even the same language as policy you read!
Anon
Wow, you’re even snotty in this response.
Anon
Yeah… wow.
Worry about yourself
Does she act like the two of you actually do the same job, or does she speak as though you two are equals, whereas you feel you’re not equal and you want her to acknowledge that? I’m curious what you’d like her to be doing differently, Treat you with more respect and defer to you as the “superior” professional in the friendship? Actively acknowledge that your job is harder and more important?
I know I'm being petty
Friend always talks like our jobs are literally the same. For example we we’re at an event and someone asked what we did, friend answered for both of us “we’re in policy”. Then I specified that I wrote the “Cat Act” and friend chimed in that they worked on it too. Unfortunately friend isn’t actually a SME, so while I consult a lot of people when I’m writing, I do not consult friend.
Anon
You’re a snob. Get over yourself.
anon
+1000
Anon
For anyone interest, WHBM is having an amazing sale right now – tops marked down from $70 to $20 – and the prices aren’t all marked up as I’ve stalked some of this clothing for months. There are a lot of what I’d call “date night” or “party tops” so I’m going to snap up a few.
Anonymous
Whoa- this is a huge gap in my wardrobe and I see some really pretty things -thank you!!!!
Pants
I’m looking at pants right now and I can’t determine if I should go slim leg or straight cut and whether I should go ankle length or full length. Is slim leg and ankle length still en vogue? Would I regret a year or so from now when ankle pants are “so last year”?
Anon
Wear what you like. Who cares if it’s en vogue? We just had conversations about how following trends encourages overconsumption. If you like ankle pants better than full length, buy them.
Anon
This, and also, wear what makes you feel good and what looks good on you.
Anon
I keep thinking ankle pants are going to be so last year and they keep hanging on! Which is great because I’m tall and can’t find pants long enough, ergo all pants are ankle pants.
anon
Full length, because who wants to go through winter in ankle pants?
Anon
Tall Californians (raises hand)
Wine Club - Next Mon 9/30 - NYC - Whiskey Tavern
Hi all, some of us were talking about a wine club after a post about divorce, and so we’re going to try to meet downtown at Whiskey Tavern next Monday, Sep 30. Feel free to join us! Let’s say 6:30?
Anonymous
Ooo – yes!
(To make sure I’m not mistaken, this isn’t just for divorced women, right?)
Anon
Is 30% off a good sale at J.Crew or should I wait? When they say “only a few pieces in stock,” do they mean it?
Cat
I’ll bite if there’s something I really, really want and it looks to be selling quickly. I find the “only a few left” to be reasonably accurate when stuff is in the sale section (in some cases, I figured out I got the last one when I went back to click on the item I’d just ordered and it now said “sold out.”)
If it’s a full price item and goes on deeper discount within a week, you can get a price adjustment.
Anon
Thank you!
I discovered after I posted this that they were clearly stalking me because an email arrived with a code for an additional 10% off, so I’m glad I snapped up the couple limited items!
anon
I’m a guest at two fall weddings. I don’t know what to wear. Both are dressy, but not formal. I want to look cute and pulled together but not blow my budget on a trendy, single-purpose dress. (I am decidedly a Pants Person when the weather gets cold because I loathe wearing tights.) Could I get away with repurposing a Boden ottoman dress in black? Alternatively, if I’m going to buy something, I’d rather pick something that’s versatile enough to wear for work or some other occasion. Any brilliant ideas? My husband will be wearing a suit and tie, daughter will be wearing an adorable plum-colored flouncy dress, and son will be wearing a button-down, tie and dress pants. It’s probably telling that I have their stuff figured out but am clueless about my own wardrobe. :)
Anon
How about an Ottoman dress in a different color? I do think black is a little too harsh for weddings.
Anonymous
What time of day are they? The ottoman dress is a day time dress. It’s perfect for a funeral. If these are evening weddings and your husband is wearing a suit, you need a cocktail dress.
Anonymous
None of the ottoman dresses look particularly festive to me, and I’d say that I’m generally skeptical that something you can wear to work will be sufficiently festive for a wedding. Work and party are just different kinds of dressy in my mind, and wearing something to one that you’d wear to the other tends to look funny to me.
I do think that an outfit of pants (in my mind they’d be black, but I bet other colors could work), a top that’s too “party” for work (maybe it’s got some kind of sparkle, or is very sheer or something), and shoes that also too festive for work could look great and really chic. I assume you already have the pants; the top doesn’t need to be expensive; and either you already have the shoes (you could probably wear a plain black pump, but I’d want something with a little more excitement) or you can buy a pair and you’ll wear them to every fancy fall/winter event you have for the next 5-10 years (I have a sequined pair from Boden–unfortunately nothing similar on their site currently–that’s doing that job for me now).
Anon
Reviewers and fashion bloggers love this $30 dress:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07SG25FPJ/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1
I bought it as a back-up to wear as a wedding guest after I decided to wear a dress I already owned because the Nordstrom sales lady said I was overweight. It may be a bit on the summery side, but it’s flattering and in expensive. The black version with some cute shoes and a shiny clutch would be fine.
I rather doubt that you will find a work dress that is also appropriate for an evening wedding because they are different types of events. I have lots of work dresses but nothing really seemed quite right for an evening wedding.
You may also just want to just buy a cocktail dress and be done with it. I’ve been trotting out the same vaguely retro style one for years worth of weddings. I generally like the Eliza J brand at Nordstrom for being not-too-trendy and not-too-expensive.
Anon
Have you checked out Rent the Runway? Not wanting to blow a budget on a single purpose dress is exactly what it is designed for. I am a fan.
The original Scarlett
I just got this dress for my work to dinner out days, and I think you could do it for a fall wedding and repurpose for the office – I’d style it with high heels, and it’s a perfect dark floral/on trend and 30% off right now
https://www.jcrew.com/p/womens_category/dressesandjumpsuits/tieneck-midi-dress-in-midnight-dutch-floral/AD069
Anon
Just listened to Trump’s press conference (actually he’s still taking questions, but I need to go back to work). Regardless of politics, I wish we had a president who wasn’t so painfully stupid.
Anon
Amen!
Anon
As a Hoosier, I’m loving that he threw Mike Pence under the bus. I hate that guy even more than Trump, if it’s possible.
Anonymous
Disagree. They are both evil but Pence at least has enough manners to interact with other humans without looking crazy
Anonymous
You mean, as long as they’re male humans?
Anon
Straight white male humans.
Anon
Oh yeah, totally agree that Pence is way more sane and would be a much better president in terms of international diplomacy and stuff like that (pretty sure he would not insist on buying Greenland to feed his own ego, for example…). I just think he’s way more self-righteous than Trump and he’s obsessed with his own squeaky clean image, so I will enjoy watching him squirm.
Anonymous
Are you a comment miner, or perhaps a bot? What an unnecessary and esoteric observation. That must be a really triggering purple suit.
Minnie Beebe
No one’s going to see this comment because it’s so late, but I love this suit, and if I were launching a Senate bid, I would totally hold my first presser in this. And I mean this in the absolute best way possible. This is gorgeous.
Anon
It is gorgeous! I would totally wear it if I were rich and needed to wear suits but sadly I am neither.