Suit of the Week

172 Comments

1. Hello, Atlanta ladies. Does anyone have a recommendation for an OB-GYN in the Atlanta area that is NOT at Northside? I am looking for a good doctor I feel comfortable with, nothing out of the ordinary. Live in Dunwoody but will happily drive further away for a gooddoctor. Thanks!

   1. No longer live in Atlanta, but I really liked Jennifer Williams (Piedmont OBGYN – Piedmont Hospital).

      1. FYI, Piedmont OBGYN is not seeing patients right now for well-woman care (just emergencies and OB patients).

         1. Isn’t that the case pretty much everywhere, or at least every state with a stay at home order? I thought all non-essential medical was paused.

            1. Ob-gyn spouse is seeing women for well-woman care, as they see fit. Obviously most women have cancelled routine paps / mammograms / etc. and that’s perfectly fine and understandable, but a few have still wanted those services. Office has to be open anyway to handle the check-ups for the pregnant women and other women who have various health conditions that need to be seen urgently. All patients screened on the phone before coming in to ensure no symptoms or not exposed; masks / gloves worn, and strenuous disinfecting going on. Social distancing in the waiting room.

               It’s his non-essential *operations* that have been cancelled in our state (more accurately, by the hospital in prep for the Covid surge). So for example, many hysterectomies are “need to be done, but if it waits a few weeks, no big deal.” Of course C-sections are still being done as needed.

   2. I have an anti-recommendation. Don’t use Dr. Perry at midtown gynecology. He was super condescending and difficult to talk to, and misdiagnosed my endo. blech.
      I have been satisfied with atlanta womens obstetrics and gynecology. I see Dr. Siegel.

   3. Dr. Jenny Jo Grossman is singularly amazing. Highly recommend. She is in midtown and alpharetta.

   4. Atlanta Women’s OBGYN at Piedmont is great.

   5. Adrienne Zertuche at Atlanta Women’s Healthcare. Attached to Piedmont.

2. For those looking for a lighter podcast, I recommend David Tennant Does a Podcast With…
   I’ve listened to the ones with Olivia Colman and Tina Fey so far. If you suspect you’ve forgotten what kind, intelligent, sympathetic people sound like, this will help.

   1. “Millah!!” :D

3. In my state judges are required by statute to wear robes “while hearing cases in open court,” and I’d be surprised if that’s not the case in most if not all jurisdictions.

   1. Yes, is there anywhere that judges are not wearing robes for remote appearances?

      1. in my jurisdiction, state court judges typically only wear robes in jury trials. Otherwise, it is usually just business dress (unless they are pissed. you see them come out in a robe…. someone’s getting sent to the woodshed!)

         1. Wow, I have been in a lot of state courts and have never seen a judge on the bench without robes. In one state magistrates don’t wear robes, but in most states even quasi-judicial officers wear robes. In that state, the magistrates complained that they wanted robes so litigants would take them more seriously.

            1. Same. I don’t think I have ever seen a judge actually on the bench without a robe. In chambers, sure, but never on the bench.

            2. I have tons of times in Texas.

   2. I don’t know, but did you see the letter from one of the Broward judges reminding attorneys to wear shirts? Oh, Florida… http://www.westonbar.org/so/61N5VoOJe?fbclid=IwAR3gBGUaUfpC8qs0612nMrw-lSDgZkDFiOiCcKGXBjd3SDS8PisCrslHN6c#/main

      1. OMG. That is hilarious. Not only the very idea that a lawyer appeared shirtless (or the one still in bed under the covers) but the tone of the writing is so great.

         1. I think it is good that people take a break and laugh. While I do not care to see a shirtless lawyer in his bedroom shirtless with his king sized bed behind him, others might find this funny. That lawyer reminds me of the manageing partner’s brother, and that is NOT sexy to me. FOOEY!

   3. I sit on a state trial court bench. All appearances are currently remote (many are telephonic and some are video). I do not wear my robe for telephonic hearings. However, I wear it for all hearings by video — and of course, any in-person hearings and trials when the court is open to litigants and the public.

      1. I would not expect you to wear a robe for telephonic hearings.

   4. I’ve known a few judges in NY lower civil who did not wear robes for bench trials. One in particular, in Queens, was an administrative judge. Anyone know who I’m talking about? He refused to sit for an entire trial, because his back hurt and, also, because he wanted my case over quickly. So he stood on up there in a suit and my witness was just bewildered. Ahh good times.

   5. In Florida, our (female) judge appeared in a video hearing today wearing a sleeveless top.

   6. We are required to wear our robes on the bench, even though we are conducting our proceedings by phone for now.

4. Kat, the link to the Brooks Brothers sheath dress goes to a tweet by an appellate judge.

5. I love that blouse! Just looked and it’s $298…yikes! Even with 30% off that’s still crazy.

6. Things are super quiet around here and I have had a very enjoyable morning with the WaPo food section’s morning chat about cooking and eating in these crazy times. SO MANY RECIPES to save to my Paprika App!

   https://live.washingtonpost.com/free-range-4-15-2020-new.html?itid=hp_hp-top-table-low_chat-12pm%3Ahomepage%2Fstory-ans

   1. Which of us will make the no-knead foccacia first? I’m thinking about Friday.

7. I need advice? Commiseration? Something? I know in the grand scheme of things I’m very lucky to have a job that’s secure, with enough savings that if I was unemployed, I’d be okay for a few months, but I AM LOSING IT. I live alone in a small studio apartment with a dog (extremely thankful for that dog right now). I’m exercising and reading and doing lots of zoom socializing, but it’s just not the same – I’m an extreme extrovert and my mood keeps swinging wildly – I’m sad and happy and miserable. I’ve never been so anxious or depressed in my life before and I just…don’t know how to cope. If this were a normal time, the easy solution is to socialize, but I obviously can’t.

   I’m just worried – I can feel my mental health deteriorating and can’t do anything about it for at least another month in my geography.

   1. Can you just… embrace it? These are terrible, crazy times and if you feel crazy and terrible I feel like it means you’re normal. Can you tell yourself “wow, this really sucks and my mood keeps swinging. Wow, right now I feel really depressed and in a little while I’ll probably feel really happy again. This is nuts!” and see it as just an artifact of the situation rather than this big horrible thing that has to be fixed?

      I’m not able to express it very well, but when I’m in a bad way, the feeling of “OMG THIS IS AN EMERGENCY SOMETHING IS WRONG THAT I FEEL THIS WAY” can be worse than the feelings themselves. When I was in the worst of my divorce, I would tell myself “I just have to feel like this until I don’t feel like this any more,” and weirdly it helped some.

      Also, can you find a therapist who will do online sessions?

      1. Somethings similar has helped me as well. Saying to yourself “well, my mental health isn’t great today. It makes sense given ___ and ___, but man, this sucks” is somehow more soothing than getting anxious about it. I hope things get better soon – it won’t always be like this.

      2. I just had a good cry on the phone with a former colleague and friend just telling her about how I was feeling. She reminded me that a good cry can be really cathartic!

         1. I have a list of my favorite “no cry challenge” podcasts/videos if you’re up for a good cry.

            1. Yes please! I’m generally not a crier, but this sounds pretty cathartic right now.

            2. Sobbed over a “wholesome meme” post on Monday; wasn’t fun but I needed to get it out.

      3. To me, “embrace” is a strong word, but I agree that accepting/expecting to feel bad makes sense right now.

         Over the past few days, I’ve kept trying to identify my problem and solve it (which usually works when I don’t feel great). But normal rules don’t really apply right now. I can do things short-term to ease the discomfort, which it sounds like you’re already doing, but I can’t solve anything. I don’t even want to make any significant decisions during this time because my thinking just isn’t as clear as usual. Try to simply soothe/distract yourself with things that help more than they harm.

         1. This is really insightful, Monday – thanks for sharing it.

      4. I’m not even an extreme extrovert and I feel like I’m just barely hanging on. My usual stress-abating tools (gym, ballet) are not a available. And I’m worried that my ballet studio may not survive.

         I guess I’m just trying to take things one day at a time, not dwelling on the near future too much. Plus I’m trying to keep in mind that things won’t always be like this.

         It really sucks, though.

      5. I agree with Senior Attorney. Think of the positive. In the order of precedent, you have a dog, you have money, and you have a job. You also have all of us in the hive to comiserate with, but you also have video chat (ZOOM), and freinds to ZOOM with. You sound like you are healthy, being a gym rat and a ballet participant, so you probably don’t have to worry about your tuchus like me. Another month is not all that long–we have been locked down now for over a month. I am pretty much in the same boat, and am dealing with it. You can too! So just keep doing what you have been doing and before you know it, we will be able to go out carefully to meet each other soon!

   2. Antidepressants and tele-therapy, seriously. It’s been helpful for me! Stay strong, this will eventually pass.

   3. It’s so hard to be alone during this. I’ve never spent this much time without him interaction in my life! Nor do I ever want to!

      I don’t have any good advice, just wanted to tell you that you’re not alone. I am at the stage I am breaking down crying from loneliness about 2 to 3 times a week, and that’s with as much zoom calls and “watching movies” with friends and other things as I can fit in. It’s just hard!

   4. You are not alone! I’m also in your position. The mood swings are so alarming, I have those too. Isolation is just awful. I think that Senior Attorney’s framing of the moods as an artifact of the situation is helpful. I’ve used that concept before (thanks therapy) but not articulated exactly in that way. I like “artifact” because it’s neutral and it places the origin squarely where it belongs — on this situation. Not you, not your brain, not your attitude, not anything you’re not doing enough of. In addition to all the stuff you listed, something that helps me is a project that stimulates my mind with novelty and creativity but doesn’t require actual serious decision making– I’ve already reorg’d a few rooms that have needed attention for a while. I’m also letting my imagination run wild for stuff like “shopping” for balcony furniture (I have a really small one so I’m mostly putting it in my shopping cart and not buying), camping gear (maybe in a few months!), getting a dog (fantasy, probably won’t actually do)— things that are fun. Ultimately though, don’t be hard on yourself and expect happiness all the time. Also.. I second a poster above — I broke down and cried a few days ago and it helped. Hugs to you!

   5. This is exactly my situation minus the dog. Being alone sucks. I do not have any solutions for you other than the things you are already doing. I am giving myself permission to feel sad/down/cry (something I was already working on pre-quarantine, but seems even more relevant now). Almost leaning into those feelings instead of trying to deny them or distract myself from them. Meditation, yoga, and walking (in addition to actual exercise) have also helped me a lot.

8. Are people online shopping for non essentials? How about if you live in an apartment building where a guy at the desk has to hand you the package? I haven’t been but could really use a pair of soft pants (like adidas pants – I’ve been riding this out in jeans) and in that order I’d throw in some bandana/face covers so as to have some extras.

   1. I would order that and receive it from the guy while wearing a face cover, then wash my hands.

   2. I am. Well, they’re semi-non-essentials like sweatpants and chocolate. I also live in a building but they’re letting us pick up our own packages from a room now. I think it’s fine from a package perspective, and I also like still supporting retailers.

      1. Chocolate is a non-essential purchase?

   3. Yes. I know it’s controversial here, but I believe I’m helping the economy by spending money, and since I’m still employed I’m basically shopping as normal except in certain categories where I can’t spend money (travel, etc.).
      In your case, I’d treat packages the way I treat mail – I put it into an old grocery bag, wash my hands and leave the bag just sitting there for a few days before opening any of the mail. (I think this is extremely overly cautious, but it’s also incredibly easy and barely takes any of my time. I don’t disinfect my groceries because that’s a much bigger time commitment and doesn’t seem worth it for the minimal risk reduction.) And I agree about wearing a cloth mask to interact with the front desk guy.

      1. I’m in the same boat as this Anon. For non-essentials, I was running out of loungewear by the time I did laundry, so I ordered some. My runnings shoes were worn out so I ordered a pair. Lids for canning. Stuff like that.

         1. Are you canning? I really want to but usually can in the summer and am not sure what to put up from available springtime produce.

            1. Yeah, but I am in California. I made a bunch of pickles last month, and salsa this month. Our pineapples and mangoes have been amazing, so made a salsa from that. The romas very very ripe so also made a red salsa. Also made jam out of more winter fruits – apples/pears, and made some marmalade too.

      2. That’s fantastic, thank you. Us unemployed retail industry professionals who can’t wait for the economy to reopen so that companies we would normally work at remove hiring freezes really appreciate people like you.

      3. I’m in the same boat as you for all of this – unless it’s something from my mum or something I’ve been waiting for, in which case I open the package and shake the contents out onto my counter and then put the packaging in the bin and wash my hands before touching anything else. Yesterday’s surprise was the medal and tee for a half marathon I ran remotely last month!

   4. I haven’t been but I’m going to start because as this goes longer and longer at some point I’ll need some household goods whether dish soap or whatever so I’ll do a household goods order and a shopping order for clothing like you mention. As for receiving the package, I’ll treat it like going to the store — mask and come back in put packages aside for a few days and wash hands ASAP. After all some stores don’t have self checkout or have shut them down because the self registers are way too close to each other so then you do have a checkout person handling your stuff. I don’t think the guy at the desk is much different. If anything he has LESS contact with people because I doubt every person in the building gets a package every day whereas thousands of people go thru grocery store check outs daily.

      1. I think part of it is grouping items into as few orders as possible – so I have reinstated my Ama zon subscribe & save for household goods that I can’t reliably get at my tiny local grocery stores.

   5. I receive packages. I think of them as “dirty” so I open them by my front door and dump out the contents, which I think of as clean (unlikely to have been touched my human hands for > 3 days) onto a surface like a clean table.

      I break down the cardboard for recycling and throw away any plastic. Then I wash my hands and knife. While dealing with anything “dirty” I’m just careful not to touch my face. I don’t wear gloves or a mask while doing this.

      It helps to be aware of what your hands have touched in all of this. Sometimes I do tasks with one clean hand and one dirty hand, like opening mail. Clean hand holds letter opener, dirty hand holds envelope. Clean hand plucks mail from inside envelope.

      1. This is insane

         1. Thank you. You seem lovely.

            This is a version of “sterile procedure.” I learned it when caring for my child who was immunocompromised due to chemotherapy. She eventually died. But not of preventable infection, which is a small comfort to me.

            Following sterile procedure in my own home doesn’t take much time, just extra awareness and hand washing, and it certainly isn’t hurting you.

            1. I’m so sorry.

            2. I don’t think this is insane at all. I’ve been doing something similar.
               I am really sorry about your daughter.

            3. I’m very sorry about your daughter. I like how conscientious you are. We need more people like you! Thank you for making such a great effort. Hugs.

            4. I’m so sorry about your daughter.

         2. I haven’t gotten sick during lockdown while following this procedure, not even with the common cold. I’ve been told it would be a good idea before, but I thought it was overkill. I’m sold on it now. If I’m going to get sick, it’s going to be from something I wanted to do, not from touching mail.

            1. It’s not insane to follow sterile procedure if you want to. But you haven’t gotten sick with a cold because you aren’t interacting with any other human beings except family members (if applicable) and your family members aren’t interacting with anyone outside the household. Normal, healthy people get sick from friends and co-workers and kids. They don’t pick up diseases from mail or packages.

         3. She’s not insane and I do this too. It is sterile procedure and I imitate medical people too.

            Anon- I’m sorry for the loss of your daughter.

      2. Your first paragraph is exactly what I just did with a package – only it was clothing in a big plastic mailing envelope. I ripped it open, dumped the stuff on the floor, threw out the envelope, and then washed my hands. And then tried on my new WFH leggings. :)

      3. This is exactly what I do too. Not sure why this is insane! Often was careful to not touch the outside of the package and whatever was in it with the same hand before handwashing pre-pandemic – packages are often dirty to the point you can feel the grime on your hands.

      4. I don’t think this is insane like the above poster said. This is just about how I open things. I assume the box has god knows what on it, but the contents are clean. I open the box, dump the contents out and then toss the box in the trash and wash my hands before touching my contents. I especially don’t think it’s crazy because one of my boxes had a mysterious wet spot about the size of a silver dollar on it yesterday (and it wasn’t raining).

      5. I do the same thing. Even if some find it insane, I’d rather err on the side of caution.

      6. I’m so sorry for your loss. I do the same thing – bring in packages / mail, dump the contents and get the packaging outside, wash hands. People who care for the elderly often learn sterile procedure as well. It’s no harm no foul.

   6. I’m not but I do think the points about the economy are valid. I wasn’t a big online shopper in the first place though, and I am finding that I have everything I need and more.

      I am getting a big order of cat food this week (not in stock in any open stores in my neighborhood), but after that I should be good for 2 months. Perhaps if I was the Perfect Quarantine Woman I would switch her to a different brand or make my own?

      1. I mean, ideally you nurse your cat or chew up food and spit it into the cat’s mouth like a mama bird, but I guess you could DIY it if you are pressed for time.

         1. Lol

         2. Ha! Thanks for keeping me on my toes. I was clearly not trying hard enough!

         3. Hahahah

   7. I am, some. I’m careful not to mindlessly spend because I’m bored or anxious. My son’s birthday is next week, and we ordered birthday presents for him–he’s turning 5, and it’s important to me that he has presents and a cake and some degree of normalcy on his birthday. I also bought a new toaster oven the other day. Ours has been sort of broken and getting worse for over a year, and there was a really good sale on them. (We use our toaster oven everyday, but I suppose it’s nonessential.)

      I would buy soft pants and bandanas for face coverings if I needed them.

      1. I think my microwave is dying but I use it so seldom that I haven’t really cared. I’m guessing I will wait and replace it when I can just walk into Target and buy one.

         1. You can walk into Target and buy one today? Unless you’re not in the US, I’m confused by the idea that you can’t go to Target, especially for an essential household appliance.

            1. Our Targets are open (with limited hours). Some major appliance stores are also open, as they are essential services (I know, since my refrigerator is on the fritz and I have someone from Abt coming out for repair – Chicagoans will know who I mean!). Thankfully I still have the cube refrigerators sitting around that my kids used in college … glad I didn’t declutter those!

   8. I am! Not as much as I used to probably, but definitely doing some shopping. And I’m especially trying to support local businesses. I follow a lot of local businesses on Insta and so many of the owners have made posts and are going out of their way to stock interesting things during this time, and so I’m trying to order things from my favorite shops. I’m also not just buying things for myself. I’m ordering gifts and having them sent to friends, my parents, niece, etc. It kills two birds with one stone – order something to support the economy AND gives the people I love a little warm fuzzy while we can’t see each other.

      1. My wife and I did something similar last night – sat down and made donations to local organizations, bought merch from performers and venues that are struggling, etc. Felt really nice!

   9. GIRL GET YOURSELF SOME SOFT COMFY PANTS.

      I haven’t worn jeans in a month.

   10. I’m shopping, for sure. Just got some new makeup from Sephora, I think I’m on my 5th Nordstrom purchase, and went nuts on sheets at Pottery Barn. (Yes, I’m basic.) I also go grocery shopping at Target sometimes so I can browse the nonessentials. I picked up some new board games and art supplies for the kids the last time I was there. I live in Portland, Oregon, where we have a stay-at-home order, but certain businesses are allowed to be open. I wear a mask when I go to any stores, and any deliveries are just dropped on my porch. I don’t disinfect my purchases. I got sick (but not tested) in early March with COVID-19 symptoms. It was a tough couple of days, and then I got better. Portland has very few cases of COVID and empty hospitals. I just don’t see the point in refusing to shop, especially when I am one of the lucky people to still have a good income (for now).

9. Is anyone scared that the restrictions are getting worse, without any sign of getting better? Cuomo just announced mandatory masks outdoors. Walks were my last enjoyable activity not ruined by this thing. Now I’m muzzled.

   I keep hoping there’s something to look forward to but they just keep taking more and more away from us. I’m scared of what we’ll lose next. No more grocery runs at all? Sealing our doors shut? Can anyone say something reassuring?

   1. These measures will lessen the burden on hospitals and health care providers in the short term and help prevent the spread of disease for all of us in the long term. Individual actions can make a huge difference and wearing masks is already very common in many countries – life still goes on. I also find it helpful to catch myself when I’m tempted to make it sound worse than it is (e.g., “muzzled.”). There’s no reason you can’t enjoy a walk while wearing a mask; they’re not mandatory here, but most people are wearing them while walking now and it’s fine. They’re still out there and kids are still shouting and having fun on their bikes.

      1. The masks started out for people in places where they couldn’t distance. And it doesn’t make sense to use where people are distancing.

         My parents are in Orange County NY on 3+ acres and there are two of them. Do they really need masks to be outside in the woods? At any rate, they don’t have cable and I think they get the paper a when they go into town to the store. If they miss the TV news, they won’t know and would not likely guess this was even a rule for them.

         1. No one is saying you have to wear a mask in your own backyard, though.

            1. If you go on a walk, this reads like you do. Like if you walk out to the cul-du-sac’s mailbox pod, you must wear a mask. Even if you could easily distance and will likely encounter no one.

               I get it if you are on a bus in Brooklyn (I’d also wear gloves). But NYS includes places way north and west of Scranton PA where things are just very different. That part of NYS shouldn’t be governed by the rules for NYC.

         2. I would keep one at hand whilst out in the woods because there are selfish idiots everywhere.

      2. I viewed it as a positive. If we all do a good job and wear masks/continue to social distance, maybe #s will continue to improve and NY can start to open things up!

         1. I hope. But I also feel like we all did play by the rules, flattened the curve, avoided the nightmare scenario, and now things are getting even more restrictive.

   2. For everywhere in NY State? NYC maybe, but where does a person in the outskirts of Utica without internet (my parents and relatives) get a mask? Or is there going to be a run on bandanas? I would get wearing good masks, but actual good masks morally belong to hospitals and other close-proximity people now. NY State is really rural and I just think that this is where people either can’t comply or think (rightly) that this rule globally-applied is either stupid or silly (b/c these masks won’t actually help and are masks in name only).

      1. It is really easy to make a makeshift fabric mask. There are numerous tutorials for how to make one from a T shirt or a piece of fabric and 2 elastics, or just use a scarf, which people in Utica undoubtedly have because it is freezing up there. Assuming they are not nudists, they can probably find something that works. And of course they don’t need them when exploring the wilderness or roaming their acres, just when they are visiting small stores or similar places where social distancing is impossible. If they never visit such places, they need not worry about it.

      2. If you’re that rural, then really no one is going to come slap your hand for not wearing a mask.

   3. Cuomo’s order is limited to when you cannot stay 6 ft away from people. So if you are walking in a location where you are appropriately distanced, no need for a mask. For those of us in NYC, I appreciate the layer of protection (however thin it may be) between me and strangers with virus.

      1. That is a bit more reasonable. And I think not news — wasn’t that the understanding all along?

   4. I know this all sucks, but: having to wear a mask outdoors is not muzzling you. It’s absolutely, positively not.

   5. The wearing masks is so we can start going outside more, not less. It’s a measure to mitigate the increase in cases as other restrictions are eased. Cuomo has said this.

   6. i mean, can you reframe in terms of things aren’t being taken away from you out of meanness but in an effort to protect EVERYONE. you are not being muzzled. you are being asked to cover your mouth so that everyone reduces the amount of spread. you doing so will contribute to efforts to save lives and reduce spread. you are doing this for everyone else around you too. if you are in new york, there are thousands and thousands of your fellow new yorkers who are dead from the virus. you are helping save others who have not yet died.

   7. Not reassuring where I live. It seemed that within a week of the first wave of restrictions, more were announced, becoming very, very, very strict. Our peak death day should be today and we have really lengthened our doubling rate. Hospital admissions are down. ICU beds <50% of capacity (ditto ventilators). Stay-Home order is due to expire 4/29; schools shut until 5/15. NOW they are taking about peak death date now being in JUNE and extending restrictions beyond that and somehow making things even stricter. I think that the worst lines are at food pantries (which have shut and become open air "we put it in the back of your vehicle or will drop off at your residence" parking lot places on sunny days. And the unemployment offices. I imagine that it can only get worse as that population swells.

      But we did this to protect the hospitals from being overwhelmed and they are not, have not been, and are not likely to become overwhelmed. I feel like the goalposts are getting moved with no good explanation as to why and with no real milestones of what we need to get to to start reversing course. And because it seems to be unreasoned and harmful, I imagine that compliance will slip if not become surly. I don't want our public safety officers to have to deal with sh*t like that, so I'd say relax things a bit on schedule (not all the way back).

   8. No, I’m not. I’m in NYC and I see no evidence of widespread enforcement of most policies anyway. I also think if everyone wears a mask, I think it will make it easier for people to spend more time out of their homes safely and for life to get closer to normal faster. We’ve been wearing masks since the CDC recommendation came out and it’s really fine except for vigorous exercise (running). My 7 year old can handle it. For running, I’ve started wearing a buff that I pull down when I get away from people. This aligns with the mandate, which is that everyone wear masks when social distancing is impossible due to crowding. You don’t necessarily need to wear one for your entire walk.

      1. I thought that if you are touching the mask, you contaminate it and need to get a fresh one. Is that not how it works? I thought the up and down got it filthy from your hands and you don’t want to be breathing that.

   9. It’s only when you can’t be 6′ away from people — so at the grocery store or walking on a crowded sidewalk. He specifically said that if there are no people within 6′ of you, you do not have to wear one. Also, there is no enforcement and no penalty if you disregard.

      You’re right that everything is hard right now, but 700+ people are dying a day. This is a huge number. Things will get easier soon! I offer you the promise of an internet stranger that they will.

      1. Thank you. I tune in every day hoping to hear that I can maybe have some small glimmer of freedom/comfort/normalcy back and it’s just so crushing to hear about more restrictions. I feel like they took away everything and they’re about to take more.

         That thing feels awful around my face and bugs my ears. Maybe I’ll order a new one or just be extra cautious to avoid people.

   10. You are not being muzzled. The mask will not stop you from talking. If you are concerned that the mask will stop you from biting others who get near you because you are leash aggressive, well, maybe. No, they will not seal your door shut. No, they will not bar you from the grocery store. Hope that’s reassuring.

   11. You’re not muzzled, you’re wearing a mask. Health care professionals do so all the livelong day. In the scheme of “hard things to do,” this isn’t one of them IMO.

       1. lauren have you started volunteering in a hospital yet?

   12. Yes its challenging, but if we can save lives let’s do it.

10. UGH. I’m on a “lived experience” panel at a conference (virtual) in a couple of weeks with another woman with my same chronic condition and 2 professionals (think 2 foster mothers and 2 child psychologists- not the exact experience but close enough). The other woman constantly interrupts me, has completely taken over the session despite that she isn’t in charge, cuts me off, and is generally just awful to me. She one ups me at every single turn (“Wow, my experience is SO much worse! That’s nothing! You think that’s bad?”), corrects me really snidely about everything (everything. Even my own experience) and generally just made this entire planning experience miserable. I’ve used every way I can think of to get her to knock it off (“please let me finish,” “I was still talking,” “Do not tell me my experience is invalid”, etc) and she still does it. I finally sent her an email today (with the ACTUAL person in charge CCed) and firmly asked her to not exclude me during the actual session and that my experience is also valuable. Pretty sure she’ll respond snottily but at least I stood up for myself.

    Just venting. So annoying. I was very excited to be a part of this and now I just want it to be over. Ignoring her is fine but it means I just get walked all over.

    1. Is there a moderator? Can you reach out to them? Or request one be added if there isn’t? This is what a moderator should be handling on your behalf in a good panel.

       1. She is the moderator, unfortunately. She “volunteered,” one of us had to do it. And by volunteered I mean “insisted” because she has “so much experience, way more than you!”. But I reached out to the staff person in charge of running our session and this woman by email and she said she would have a conversation with this woman about including me and moderating herself (ie stopping talking).

    2. Why are you putting yourself through this? Doesn’t sound worth it.

       1. I have some really unique experience to offer based on my personal circumstances and don’t want it to be left out. I also like the other 2 people on the panel a lot and want to be invited to do things with this group in the future.

          Also, I don’t want her to get the satisfaction of completely silencing me.

    3. I mean, if you want or need to push back more, you can inform her that her denigration if your actual experience is contrary to the goals of sharing “lived experiences,” and if she needs to do that, she is not an appropriate person to be on the panel.

    4. Does the panel have a moderator? If so, maybe you can contact that person in advance and ask for intervention in case you’re being interrupted.

       1. The way the panel is set up is that there’s a staff person who essentially acts as a coordinator, and isn’t participating in the actual panel day of, and then this other woman is the moderator who is asking me and the 2 professionals questions and sharing a bit of her own experience. In theory. In reality it’s her monologuing, asking a question every once in awhile of one or more of us, impatiently waiting for us to finish so she can talk more and/or cutting us off when she decides that we haven’t heard her voice in far too many seconds (about 30).

          1. That sounds awful. If it’s any consolation, it sounds like her awfulness will be pretty obvious to everyone present.

             1. The two professionals barely contain their eyerolls when she goes off on one of her suffering-olympics stories.

    5. What a pain. Don’t ignore her and get walked over! You have every right to use the polite, assertive phrases you mention above in person, during the panel, and loud enough to be heard. You’ve tried the diplomatic way, now it’s time for public shaming.

    6. Update: She and the coordinator both responded to my email. She was very gracious, apologized, and said she wants to talk tonight to figure out what we can do to make sure I’m included. I was very surprised, but impressed that she responded so graciously and is trying to make it better.

       1. That is so encouraging.

       2. Yay! Glad to hear it. Self-advocacy is so important and it really paid off for you.

       3. When you talk tonight, don’t compromise and short change your requests. You want time to talk, make your points, and tell your story. Don’t be so bawled over by her sudden change in tone that you don’t take what you need to make this panel worth your time. In other words, don’t play small when getting this fixed. You don’t have to diminish your experience up till now. She has a lot of ground to make up with you and she is in the wrong here.
          I hope tonight goes really well and you can get back on track with this event!

11. In the last week I’ve received two emails (to my personal account) saying they have my email and password and that unless I pay X amount in bitcoin they will expose a video of me (some story about taking control of the camera and getting video of me watching an adult website blah blah). I know that an old password was breached and is floating around on the dark web as part of a large breach corpus, and this is the password they include in the email as “proof”. They threaten to send the video to all my contacts if I don’t pay up. Now, I’m really boring and have not visited any adult websites, so there’s no such video that they describe, but these emails still creep me out a little. (They are really menacing in tone, and clearly directed at me and including my password and full name.) It’s not the password I use for any of my email or banking accounts, but it’s possible it’s still a password for some websites I haven’t visited for a long time and can’t remember. I actually think it was originally exposed in the Target data breach (I’ve since changed my Target password).
    Has this happened to anyone on here? Did it just stop after you ignored them for a while? Did they actually get access to your email contacts and send anything out (even if they don’t have what they threaten to send out). I have a lot of professional contacts in my personal email, so any kind of accessing my contacts makes me nervous. I’ve changed my personal email password again out of an abundance of caution. Anxiety is running high these days anyway, so I really don’t need one more thing to fret about.

    1. This is a common scam. It is not much different from the “give us gift cards or we will arrest you,” or, if you really want to freak out, the “hit man” scam. Their goal is for you to send them money and never ever report it to the police. Just ignore it or report it to the police.

    2. I have gotten a couple of these and ignored them. I feel like they’ve stopped, but I can’t say for sure, because I don’t monitor my spam folder that closely.

    3. Set up 2 factor authentication wherever you can if you want an extra step for security. Even if this is a scam, I think 2FA is helpful generally. What a terrible scam.

    4. Late but I got a similar email yesterday. I may still use that password at old random websites I no longer remember, so I was a little freaked out. But I searched the web and per the FTC it is a common scam. I just deleted the email and tried to forget about it.

    5. It’s a scam, they have a list of breached passwords and are emailing. I’ve seen lots of people getting these.

    6. Ugh, something similar happened to me. I traced it back to the hacking of my Comcast/Xfinity wifi password. The sender demanded the equivalent of $800 in bitcoin in 3 days, said they could tell I opened the email so they knew I received it and threatened to release a video of me doing something intimate (Haha, funny). This has gone on for months. There is no video and I don’t know if I should be disappointed about this (I’m married)? Kidding, but still.
       I changed a bunch of passwords and alerted my building and Comcast/Xfinity. It’s super unsettling. Good luck!

    7. Yes, I got some of those emails too and agree that they’re kind of freaky. I’ve been using last pass, so I went through and made sure none of the sites were still using the old password (or any variants of it) and then just ignored. Nothing happened and I don’t think I’ve seen one of those emails for a while.

    8. It absolutely happened to me. I emailed them back and told them they can tell whomever they choose that sometimes I watch porn and shop for shoes. Spoiler alert, nothing ever happened. Try not to worry, OP.

       1. Lol, I love this response.

    9. If it make you feel any better, I have got that e-mail twice, once last week and the other yesterday. I knew it is an scam and that they do not have anything to send to my contacts but I decided to report it to the police.
       In this web https://haveibeenpwned.com/ you can check your account to get an idea which account was hacked.
       In my case it was an old pasword from an account I have not used in years, they refer to you using or your nickname in that account or your e-mail. They do not have any detail.

       I prefer when I received e-mails from “russian ladies ” that whant to know me better….

12. Wish that Ann Taylor 35$ dress sale applied to Canada. So many beautiful dresses. Sad to miss out.

    1. I look at pretty dresses online and then wonder when and where I will ever be able to wear them.

       1. I bought a super-happy outfit for my “coming out of quarantine” outfit! It’s bright and colorful and makes me happy, and I’m stashing it away until we have places to go! I’m really looking forward to wearing it.

    2. Is it just me or the sale doesn’t apply to petite dresses

13. Does anyone have experiences or advice or a connection to a literary agent? I am looking for one for my second book (my first was without an agent) and debating whether this might be a fit. Would love insights or even an introduction if anyone has! :)

    1. Google “writers conference” and the genre you write in. That should pull up lots of sites with how-to and info about approaching an agent. (The conferences often put resources online or put up recordings of workshops and sessions.)

14. Does anyone have an OB they’d recommend in West Palm Beach? I’m from NYC but have been here for the past 6 weeks quarantining with my family and it’s looking like I won’t be home before I deliver (29 weeks pregnant right now). Getting desperate and don’t have any friends in the area for personal recommendations – this is a high risk ivf pregnancy and I’m freaking out

    1. I would ask your OB in NYC for a recommendation – explain the situation – they’ll provide good advice. OB practices are often full/not taking new patients for x number of weeks, and I’d imagine that’s worsened with everything going on. Your OB should be able to help find a solution/help get you in to a local practice, and you’ll want them talking/transferring your records from practice to practice.

15. What items costing $30 or less are really improving your life right now? For me, Tony Moly’s peach hand cream is making me happy! It’s peach packaging is adorable, and the scent is a cross between apricot and peach! It is not a really thick hand cream, but it is very moisturizing and not sticky. It cost $12 on Amazon.

    1. I bought a telemarketer headset for conference calls (with only one earphone and a flexible boom mic) and I just love it. It is comfortable through the multiple hours of calls I am doing every day. $20 at Best Buy, I picked up from our local store after ordering online.

       1. Ooh, yes, brought my headset home from work and it rocks. It has some weird connectivity issues once in awhile but it’s still great.

    2. Starbucks cinnamon dolce coffee, purchased at the grocery store to brew at home.

    3. Homemade bread, as mentioned on the morning thread! Also turning my box in front of a window into a window seat by putting my yoga mat on it for cushioning. And using my enamel saucepan more (it’s a supermarket copy of a Le Creuset dutch oven). Feeling very wholesome looking at this list!

    4. Stroopwaffles and caramel corn. Not things I usually have at home but they’re a nice pick me up right now.

       Also, been buying more kindle books full price, which I try not to do since there are constantly sales. I’ve enjoyed multiple light and fluffy contemporary romance books that take almost no time to read but make me very happy.

       1. I don’t want to take anything away from your current process but if you have increased your Kindle reading, you might like to explore checking out eBooks from your local library? There’s usually a wait list at mine for new releases but I just add myself to the hold list.

          1. I do that too. :)

    5. We had toilet paper delivered to the house yesterday from Office Depot! It made me very happy!

    6. A milk frother!
       A hot sauce variety pack to liven up my meals.
       A cute striped shirt I just bought from LOFT to liven up my top half for Zoom calls.
       Fun flavored teas in the afternoon.
       Califia Farms almond milk cold brew in the morning.
       The Fitness Marshall’s dance videos!
       My favorite pens (for those who care, uni-ball .7MM fine tip, black).

       1. I care! Here’s mine: Pilot Precise V5 Extra Fine in black (or red!).

          1. Those pens are second only to fountain pens, my new normal.

             1. Yes to fountain pens!

          2. Those are my favorites too!

       2. What cute striped top did you get from Loft?

          1. This one! The striped square neck puff sleeve tee:

             https://www.loft.com/striped-square-neck-puff-sleeve-tee/535695?skuId=29564934&defaultColor=9000&catid=catl000011&selectedColor=9000

    7. I noticed that all my living room throw pillows had gotten droopy and sad, so I ordered new inserts for them. Spent $40 for six, and the puffed up pillows with newly washed and ironed covers look so nice again!

       1. Ooh I should buy new pillows. In the words of Jim Gaffigan, they’re looking like Civil War bandages at this point …

    8. – Candles I bought on sale before all this happened. Makes me feel calmer, and now I’m home all day to light them up and enjoy.
       – A yoga mat and blocks.

       Something expensive that I just ordered, and am anticipating getting a lot of use out of: sous vide machine! We don’t cook a ton usually, but have been with all of this as we are limiting all outside interactions, and so hopefully we’ll get to try it out and get into a habit of cooking more since I’ve heard it’s very easy to use.

    9. We got a cold brew pitcher from Target (it’s really just a big french press pitcher) and it’s made having morning cold brew so easy!

    10. – candles that have been sitting around, unlit. Although turns out some of the candles that smell so good unlit make me nauseous when lit. Good to know for future buys.
        – oatmeal chocolate chip pecan cookies I baked and then froze. I love frozen chocolate.
        – wearing leggings all the time. got a couple new pairs form old navy.
        – low/no acid coffee – a bit spendier than typical drip but helps my stomach/bladder from hurting

        what I am looking forward to most: going back to my local coffeeshop where everybody knows your name and order and getting my daily latte. There are often dogs in there, too. Also, thrift shopping.

    11. I love the Tony Moly peach cream! It smells so good but I always thought the peach container…well it doesn’t look like a peach. It reminds me of something else.

16. There are 512 comments on this morning’s thread. Is that an all-time record? I don’t remember seeing more than 500.

    1. I don’t think so. In the early days of this s*te there were 600-700 comments per thread. There were fewer threads though.

    2. I think there were more after the 2016 election, but it is pretty high. It’s probably the ugliest long thread we’ve had in a while.

       1. ETA: by “ugly,” I mean depressing more than anything. Clearly a lot of people are struggling.

          1. I found the thread this morning too much. The direct attacks were to me unprecedented. I am really disappointed in the moderation. I will be taking a break from the site.

    3. at one point probably 7-8? years ago, there were more than 700 on a Friday weekend thread before COB. That’s the high I remember.

17. Reposting since maybe people have moved on from the am thread. I’d like to send some good food to friends who are front line physicians in New York City (Manhattan) and in Montreal. Any suggestions from local ‘Rettes in either city on good localish businesses that deliver? Thank you!

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