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Updated: Apr 1, 2019 140 Comments · by

Suit of the Week: Acne Studios

Suit of the Week |

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Acne Studios Ryde T Organza Shirtjacket | CorporetteFor busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional. Have you woken up recently and said, “man, if only I could get a suit that was noisy, itchy, wrinkled like crazy, and pulled over my head instead of buttoning up the front?” Then look no further! This avant-garde take on the classic suit jacket has a “unique pullover design,” and — for your noisy, wrinkling, itchy pleasure, is made of organza. Fabulous! If you’re interested, you’d better hurry — the satin pants (Acne Studios Marsy Satin Trousers) are already sold out, and the jacket (Acne Studios Ryde T Organza Shirtjacket), at $1350 is down to limited sizes. The blouse it’s featured with (Acne Studios Clio Tech Poplin Shirt) is a mere $220. If you’re looking for something more Stop Making Sense-ish, check out this one. Psst: Since the satin pants are sold out, I suggest you check out these. Acne Studios suit of the week (L-all)

Workwear sales of note for 12.7.23

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About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. Moving to DC - agent recs

    Can anyone recommend a real estate agent in DC who can help us find a 2 bed/3 bed RENTAL (don’t want to buy) in Woodley Park/Tenleytown area? We are moving from out of state and don’t know the area well. Thanks!

    • Anonymous

      I answered you on your previous post- reposting so you see it.

      Tiernan Dickens is wonderful – TDickens@EversCo.com but I am not sure if he does rentals. He may be able to point you to someone who does though.

      The woodley/tenley area is so small though I dont think you need someone who knows the area well- you should be able to figure it out on the basis of a map, craigslist etc. as long as you are able to visit

  2. eye cream

    I posted on the previously thread, but that’s clearly for funsies. Anyone have a really good eye cream? I don’t need to worry too much about wrinkles yet, but I do have the super-puff and shiner look going on. Don’t want to spend a fortune, but tired of throwing money on stuff that doesn’t work.

  3. Must be Tuesday

    I’m getting married this summer. It’s a second wedding for both of us. It will be a civil ceremony and dinner at a restaurant. Only family and close friends are invited. I don’t have a dress yet. I don’t want a formal bridal gown, just a nice dress. I’d prefer something white or light, but I’m open to other colors. At least, that’s how I feel in theory. In practice, I’m not finding anything I like in white, and every time I look at something that’s another color, it either doesn’t feel “bridal” enough (whatever that means), or I start to worry that one of my guests will show up in the exact same dress. That last worry is fairly irrational – I have never shown up to something wearing the exact same dress as anyone else, so what is the likelihood that it will happen at my wedding, with a small guest list. I don’t really know what I’m asking exactly, but I’m not sure what’s holding me back on seriously considering a dress that isn’t white.

    • Wildkitten

      The Faith Connection (“this one” link) would be great for those days you want to give off masculine power vibes, like during a negotiation or presenting in a meeting.

        • la vie en bleu

          Kat, these are the tamest April Fool’s picks you’ve ever posted! I miss the super crazy things like the ski mask or the orange suit. ;o)

  5. BB

    So obviously this is an April Fool’s post, but cannot believe that this jacket itself does not appear to be an April Fool’s joke! I’m all for playing with the classics, but the lines and draping on this is all wrong. I guess I just don’t understand “avant garde” fashion! :)

  6. Meg March

    Job Search Question:

    Dream Company posted a job that is Dream-Job-Adjacent (Job A). I was planning on applying– I would be very excited about the work, although it’s not quite what I’m really interested in. Before the deadline for Job A, they posted Job B– The Dream Job. Definitely applying for that, obviously, but do I also apply for Job A still?

    I fear that applying for both might, idk, water down my application. Job A and Job B are different practice groups, but it all starts off by going through HR.

    • Zelda

      I think it’s fine to apply to similar jobs at the same company. It would potentially be a problem if the jobs were so different that it implied lack of focus. As long as you’d be happy with either A or B, I’d say apply to both and see what happens.

  7. Name change poll

    Poll:

    1. If you are married, did you change your name after getting married?
    2. If you are divorced/not remarried, did you keep your ex-husband’s name or change back to your maiden name?
    3. If you aren’t married, have you always known that you would or wouldn’t change your name, or has your opinion changed as you’ve gotten older?

    • Must be Tuesday

      1. If you are married, did you change your name after getting married?
      No, I did not change my name for my first marriage and will not for my 2nd (getting married this summer).

      2. If you are divorced/not remarried, did you keep your ex-husband’s name or change back to your maiden name?
      Never changed to begin with, so no need to change back after divorce.

      3. If you aren’t married, have you always known that you would or wouldn’t change your name, or has your opinion changed as you’ve gotten older?
      I’ve always known. I think the first time I ever vocalized this was when I was 12 or 13 years old and met a couple (my dad’s business colleagues) with different last names. This was the first time I ever met a married woman who hadn’t changed her name. My opinion hasn’t changed on this as I’ve gotten older. My first marriage was early 20s, my upcoming marriage is late 30s, and I’ve remained constant on this one point.

    • Anonymous

      I kept my maiden name for the first four years after we got married, then took my husband’s last name only after having kids and right before making a big career move. It worked for us, but the gossip mill at my workplace is speculating on whether I got divorced…

      My twenty-year-old self had a “I’m not your property” attitude and never wanted to take anyone else’s name. My husband didn’t care. Now, I like the idea of being a unified family unit and turning over a fresh leaf after overcoming some serious challenges. I’m happy with my choice. It just took me a long time to come around to it.

    • Ellen

      Yay! Coffee Break! I love coffee break, but this suit is NOT attractive to me. It is also expensive, even for SAK’s! FOOEY!

      As for the OP, I am in Catagory 3, and am NOT yet married (DOUBEL FOOEY), and now more then ever, I KNOW that I will NOT change my name WHEN (not if) I do get MARRIED! Why? Because as I got older (now 34), I have built up alot of good will with my name at the firm, and with all of my cleint’s, who would NOT even know me with a new name.

      In fact, even earlier, BEFORE I became a partner, I was uneasy over the posibility of changeing my name. At the time, I was dateing Alan Sheketovits, and I was NOT thrilled over haveing to use HIS name. Grandma Leyeh realy did NOT want me to dilute my history with such a common name. Grandma Trudy also agreed, but she said I could alway’s Hyfenate our name’s. But haveing to have our kid’s running around with 2 names would be tough, and Alan wanted HIS name to go first, meaning Sheketovits-Barshevsky. I did NOT want this b/c my cleint’s would not think I was ASSERTIVE enough to have my own name first, so I said that if we WERE to marry, we would have to be called Barshevsky-Sheketovits.

      Fortunateley we did NOT have to make that decision b/c he picked the bottel over me and got drunk, all the time, ruining my carpet and my 1000 count Egyptian sheet’s with his vomit and other bodily fluid’s. He also made me do alot of sexueal thing’s I was NOT comfortabel doeing while he just watched. FOOEY!

      So upon the advise of other’s (tho not counsel), I decided to dump him, and his commoner’s name. So, goieng forward, unless my HUSBAND is goeing to be named Kushner, I will INSIST on keepeing the Barshevsky name on all thing’s business in nature. BTW, even Ivanka likes the Kushner name, tho she still uses the Trump name in her clotheing and shoe line. BTW, I love Ivanka, b/c she is VERY classy (not brassey).

      So that is my story. I hope I will serve as a beacon for other young professional’s to keep their names once they build up good will, like I have in my legal carreer! YAY!!!!!

    • Engaged

      I am engaged to be married. I always thought I would change my name when I got married (from First Middle Maiden to First Middle His), and that is what I will do. I feel strongly about wanting to do this for me personally, but I don’t care what other people do.

      Edited to add: In addition to always knowing that I would take my future husband’s surname, I’ve also always known that I would get rid of my maiden name entirely and keep my middle name. There’s nothing wrong with my maiden name (and it is a lot easier to spell/pronounce/etc than my married name will be), but I really love the middle name my parents chose for me and would not want to give that up! And I don’t want four names, and I don’t see myself losing any ground in my career due to the name change.

      • Engaged

        I just re-read my post and cringed a bit at “engaged to be married…” – that’s probably implied by the word engaged :) now I feel like that horrible woman on Seinfeld who is looking for her FIANCE!!! Has anyone seen my FIANCE?!?!?!

    • anon

      I never thought I wouldn’t adopt new-husband’s name. I dropped my maiden name (constantly mis-spelled, and doesn’t flow well with married name), and am Firstname Middlename Marriedname.

    • LilyS

      I’m only 21, but slowly working out what I think about this. I think I’ve reached a point where my ‘dominant strategy’ (oh, economics) would be to keep my surname at work but to take my husband’s name in our personal life. I know quite a lot of people who’ve done this and it seems to work well.

    • DC Anon

      I changed my last name when I got married in my early 20s. Went back to my maiden name when we divorced. I’m getting married again and keeping my maiden name this time. I found I now have a lot of affection for my maiden name after losing it and then going through the huge pain in the a$$ of getting it back. It’s funny, it’s something I didn’t care about a decade ago, but that I have come to feel very strongly about.

      • cbackson

        I felt the same way – changed it, had to change it back, would never change it again.

    • roses

      I’m married and ended up taking my husband’s name, but I felt very conflicted about it – I didn’t decide for sure until about a week before the wedding. I didn’t really think about it much before we got engaged. It came down to a matter of convenience – my maiden name was very long and cumbersome, and his was short and easy. I think if the situation had been reversed though I would have kept my name.

    • GettingMarriedToo

      I am getting married this summer and strongly believe in keeping my last name as is. I am 30 years old, have been working full time for over 8 years in a very male dominated field. There are only 3-4 females at my level in this office and none of them changed their names after marriage. I have also won national level prestigious scholarships that come up in first 2-3 results when doing a google search. I absolutely do not want to change my name, I am proud of what I have accomplished so far, have lots of industry contacts and would honestly feel lost/disconnected if I was called something else. I already own my own home, other investment property etc and in middle of a lengthy immigration process. It will be so much pain to change my name when I don’t want to.
      BUT had an argument with my fiance’s parents who were highly offended that I wouldn’t change my name for love of their son. My fiance never bought it up again personally but I know he would prefer if I changed my name. His parents don’t even want me to hyphenate or use maiden hisSurname together. I am so upset over this issue, if they push me again I am afraid I will break off the engagement. I am so torn over this issue.

      • Sydney Bristow

        Don’t let your fiance’s parents get to you over the issue. Easier said than done, I know! I’m sorry it has been so rough for you.

        My fiance’s parents are upset I’m not taking his name either. I’ve managed to just laugh it off on the few occasions it has come up. Luckily my fiancé has my back on that even though I think deep down he wishes I’d take his name. He respects my decision though and has my back.

      • Anonymous

        Break off the engagement because they’re jerks? Way to be completely over dramatic! You’re doing what you want, your fiance isn’t bothering you about it. This is actually fine.

      • Anonymous

        @GettingMarriedToo, This is something I would be really offended about—i.e. fiance’s parents or any other third parties trying to influence the decision. But at the same time I wonder how I would handle it in real life because it’s easy to be philosophical but it’s a different matter when you love someone and have invested time in a relationship. This seems like it could become a huge point of contention if the guy would prefer you change your name but is only letting you keep it grudgingly.

        • GettingMarriedToo

          Yes, this has really pissed me off, it is as if his parents don’t give rat’s ass about who I am or what I have done. My entire identity is to be wiped out against my choice because this is what women marrying into their family have done. Seriously after that argument, I am actually looking into what all I can do to protect myself financially (without a pre-nup) in case this is a not a happily ever after. I would hate my fiance if he forced me to change my name, hence I am on the fence about the engagement as a whole.

    • Blonde Lawyer

      Married young. Changed name. Happy with my decision. I only had two hiccups. (1) I didn’t do any research and changed my name with Social Security last. Bad idea. They need a photo ID w/ your maiden name which I didn’t think I had anymore. Luckily my mom found an old passport of mine that they took. I didn’t realize I had to change my name with Social Security until I got denied financial aid because my name and SSN didn’t match. Oops.

      Second hiccup – I was wrapping up a law enforcement job and since my husband was in the same field, I didn’t want us connected for safety reasons. I was still using my maiden name at that job but learned I had to sign my reports with my married name and the people I was trying to keep the info from got copies of those reports. I just switched to using totally married name and everything was fine.

      For the woman above who plans to use maiden professionally I would suggest keeping maiden your legal then and just use married name socially to avoid the signature issue.

    • Sydney Bristow

      I’m getting married this summer and am keeping my name. I always knew I would. I don’t think I ever even considered changing it.

      That said, my last name is very unique. My best friend is getting married this summer too and is changing her name because her name is so common. Seriously, there is another woman with her same name in her town and once she was mistakenly given that woman’s prescription. If I was in a similar situation I might have considered changing my name although I still probably wouldn’t.

      • Anonymous

        That’s funny, I had a very unusual name & changed it when I got married (to one of the top 5 most common surnames in the US) because I wanted people to be able to pronounce my name! I guess it goes both ways.

        • Anonymous

          Yep! I’m engaged and I’m excited to ditch my German, hard to pronounce and spell name, and take my SO’s easy to pronounce, spelled exactly like it sounds name.

          My mom has a different last name than me, and I never liked that growing up, so I want the same last name as my kids. I’m going to change it legally to First Maiden (as my legal middle name) HisLast, and professionally go by First HisLast. No need to Ruth Bader Ginsburg it. I’m fine with Ruth Ginsburg.

    • Anon

      I’m married and did not change my last name for a number of reasons. First, I feel very possessive of it, if that makes sense. It’s my name! I spent 30+ years with it. I also felt like taking my husband’s last name felt old-fashioned in a not-good way (for me). Second, my husband’s last name is the kind of last name that kids get teased about on the playground. My slightly shameful confession is that if I had married someone with a “better” last name I might have considered changing my last name.

    • new anon

      I’m married and have kept my maiden name. Always thought that I would, though once I really had to consider the options, I was open to both of us changing our names in some way (both hyphenating, both using an entirely new name, whatever else isn’t coming to mind). I realized I could see why my husband would value a shared name, but I was absolutely uninterested in a unilateral-on-my-part change and don’t personally care at all about a shared name.

    • Emma

      I’m engaged and will change my last name. It’s what I always planned, and it helps that I like my fiance’s last name.

      I’ll go by First Name / Maiden Name / His Name.

      The timing works out well for me. I’m finishing up some term gigs and moving to a new city / starting firm life, so the transition won’t be too bad. Other than getting used to a new name, of course!

      For me (and I only speak for me, of course), having the same last name as my husband is important. It cements that we’re entering a covenant and starting our own family. That may be a bit traditional or seem naive, but it’s just how the two of us are.

      To me the one hurdle with keeping my own last name would be about naming children. I’m curious — for those women who’ve kept your last name, how have you handled kids? Do they take your name or your husband’s?

      • Anonymous

        For the kids, First name-Your Maiden Name-Husband Last Name i.e. this option is when you have kept your maiden name. To me it seems like a no-brainer but maybe it’s because I come from a different culture (see my post anonymous 5:39pm below). Also regarding the kids having the father’s name, generally speaking there is rarely any doubt about someone’s mum but there are cases where a child’s paternity is in question–so having the father’s name became important at some point in history, which is why we still do this today.

      • AR

        Married and changed my name. I liked the idea that I chose my husband, and so also chose my last name. I liked my name before, but it didn’t bother me at all to take my husband’s name.

        Now that we have kids, I have met more women who have their own maiden name still. What I’ve realized, that no one really tells people to their faces, is that it is really bloody confusing. People automatically assume that the kids are your husbands, not yours. Then, when you go to school the teachers still call you by your kids last name. Then, as they get older, other kids are confused as to why your kids don’t have the same name as you.

        I had to explain it to my oldest girl that some women are proud of their name, and keep it. Then she asked me why I changed my name. And as all of you with kids have probably experienced, it sparked one of our parent, child press conferences. *Cough, next question.* Came down to me telling her women can do what they want. Don’t think it was my most eloquent answer, but it worked.

        • Em

          A lot of things in life are confusing. Not sure why other kids having to learn some women keep their names, for instance ,warrants much consideration. Surely they’ll have to learn that eventually.

          • AR

            It is just a kid thing. They are curious as to why anything is different than what they have or do. It is certainly not a bad thing to keep your own name, which is what I was conveying to my daughter. She asked about it, and was confused so we talked about it. It is what kids do.

        • Zelda

          I really don’t see how it’s that confusing in this day in age with so many blended families. One of my friends is divorced and remarried so the kids have first husband’s name and she is hyphenated maiden-new husband. Another doesn’t have the same last name as her daughter because she was never married to her father (daughter has his name). She’s sometimes called Ms. [daughter’s name] but doesn’t think it’s a big deal. Who cares what strangers assume about your family? It’s really none of their business.

        • editrix

          Not even slightly confusing. And not a problem, if you simply refuse to flip out when a teacher or stranger or pediatrician calls you by your husband’s/children’s last name. It’s just not a big deal. I kept my name because I was established in my career when I married, but also because I was one of three sisters, and the last one of our generation who still had the family name. My father died shortly before I married and I kept it as a means of connection to him. (Yes, I know, another flavor of patriarchal, but my choice.)

    • Maddie Ross

      Took his last name, but use my maiden also (no hyphen, just all three). Did so almost a decade ago now and honestly it seems weird to me to see my pre-marriage name now (on diplomas and the like). I was not established in my career when we married and I was able to start practicing with my name as it currently stands. Had I started practicing before marriage, I would probably have done some combo of taking his name personally and keeping mine professionally. Now that we have a child, I do appreciate the unity of the same last name. Obviously, different last names among a family can have all sorts of meanings and it’s impossible to jump to conclusions, but I do like that there’s a certain lack of explanation required.

    • Anon

      Engaged, philosophically I don’t like the idea of changing my name. But in real life I have an awful maiden name, and just like fiancé’s name better. Still haven’t decided what to do. I’m an academic and fiancé just assumed I would keep my name which is cute he knows my views so well, he obviously doesn’t care what I end up doing so long as I’m happy.

    • Kept it

      Married. Changed my name to First, MaidenLast (as new middle name), and NewLast. I had never personally known anyone that didn’t change their last name and still don’t, not to say that I would have been influenced to keep my name. The shared name is important to me and I was happy to go with tradition on that one.

    • Anonyc

      Married, kept my name. Not at all up for debate for us, although husband’s name is totally fine and mercifully short. Mine is longer and a slight spelling variation on a common name, but I liked my name. More importantly, I did not like the idea, history, or work load involved in changing my name. If there was some sharing of the burden on any of these fronts I might feel sliiiightly different, but probably not. It felt like a rejection of my family, too.

      Kids are first name/my last name/husband’s last name. One less name to pick and they are tickled that they all have the same middle and last names.

      • profmama

        Ditto on the first paragraph: no name change for me.

        Kid is Double First/ Middle/ MyLast-HisLast. Poor thing has 5 names, which often get shortened to Double HisLast.

        • Anonyc

          I have one kid with a hyphenated first name. I figure when kid gets old enough she can decide whether the hassle of all those names is worth it and drop a name if it is better for her that way.

          • Wildkitten

            I hate my middle name (it’s a maiden name) and want to drop it but it’s kind of expensive and a hassle. If your kid wants to change it s/he should look up how to do that and the cost/hassle. I always figured I’d just do it but didn’t realize how cumbersome it is to change your name outside of a wedding.

    • Wildkitten

      Not yet married, not changing when I do. I would be open to changing if I married someone with an awesome last name. Like I’d go from Wild Kitten to Wild Fire but I’m not changing it to Wild Smith.

    • anon

      I am married and went with Firstname Maidenname Hisname. I never really liked my maiden name and very much disliked the fact that I acquired it from my father. I thought of taking my husband’s name as an act of self-determination–I chose my husband, I chose to form a new family, I chose a new name and a new identity. I worked in a highly feminist environment at the time and my choice was frowned upon by some. I did keep my maiden name as a middle name because I was not fond of my middle name either, because it was the prevailing custom in the region where I lived, and because it made things easier professionally. A few years after I was married I switched careers and stopped using my maiden name along with my last name professionally. I now go by Firstname M. Hisname, partly because Hisname is a very common last name and I have more than once encountered someone else with the name Firstname Hisname.

    • MNF

      Married – always thought I would change my name, but then didn’t. Mostly because my husband works in a similar field and I wanted to be separate. And it seemed like a pain. And I like my signature a lot. We’re planning to use his name for children. Socially, friends call us the “H’s last name”s. He doesn’t care about my name, but feels strongly about using his name for children.

    • Gail the Goldfish

      Not married, but won’t change my name if we get around to it. I told my boyfriend he’s welcome to take my last name if he wishes.

    • Anonameous

      Did not change maiden name.

      Thought about it for several weeks when engaged, but decided I preferred my maiden name.

    • anon

      Not married but don’t ever plan on changing my name UNLESS he is willing to change his name, too. So if we both hyphenated, I would be ok with it. It would also solve the issue about having the same name as our future kids. I guess we could flip a coin to determine whose name would go first in the hyphenation order.

      • anon

        This is what we’re doing. I always took it for granted that I would keep my name but he suggested that we both hyphenate together and honestly, I loved the idea and was really touched by his suggestion. In our case, choosing the order was super easy – his last name is very similar to my first and they would not look or sound good next to each other, so mine is going to go first.

          • anon

            Alas, my wedding will not be nearly as Vogue-worthy! It’s something like if my first name was Laura and his last name was Lore…I’m cool with being (for example) Laura Smith-Lore, but would not want Laura Lore-Smith.

          • la vie en bleu

            ha, bummer, that would have been crazy.

            I mean, I know she married into a dynasty, but I really can’t imagine marrying someone with the same last name as my first name at all, I think I would have to break up with that person on principle. It’s just too weird!

            And also, I agree with your reasoning. ;o) Congratulations and have fun!

      • Mplsmom

        We found another option and both took a new, shared last name and moved our last names to our middle names: so I am First MyMaiden NewLastName and he is First His”Maiden” NewLastName. We married young, though, before either of us was very established in our field. I like that we and our 2 kids all have the same last name, but my husband and I each have our own family history in our name. Also, my husband is a big feminist and enjoys people figuring out that he has a “maiden” name. He uses all three, just like many professional women do.

    • Bonnie

      I happily changed my name when I got married. My last name was terribly long and hard to spell and I don’t feel I gave up anything really.

    • Manhattanite

      Married (w child), did not change name. Personally cannot imagine changing my surname any more than I’d change my first name.

    • Anonymous

      Not yet married. I always thought I would change my name when I got married i.e. as a teenage girl and in my early twenties but my views have changed considerably since then, now 35. I now lean heavily towards keeping my name as is i.e. no hyphenation and no switching my surname to middle and adding his at the end. For a long time I did not realize that keeping your name was even an option until I met women from Korea, China and Hispanics who had not changed their names. Add to the realization that the whole idea of changing your name comes from british culture–I come from a former british colony and traditionally in my culture women did not change their names upon marriage. In the U.S. I know one argument is feminism but for me personally the argument is more cultural.

      I realize the importance of feeling like one family unit when people have kids but I think that I would go for using my last name as the child’s middle name. I have heard some women say that they also opted for this because they felt they wanted a connection with the child they carried for 9 months……

      • Anon100

        I come from one of those cultures, and I’ve always been a little baffled how Western cultures, in particular Americans, can’t grasp the difference between social and professional names… For example, if my mom’s surname is Chen and my dad’s surname is Lee – Mom’s still known as Ms. Chen at work, but socially she’s addressed as Mrs. Lee, which is rare, since socially people are addressed by their entire full names unless they have a specific nickname. However, my mom makes it confusing since I think she’s changed her name for the US so a couple of her credit cards have Mrs. Lee on them…

        It’s pretty standard for women of my parents’ generation (baby boomers) to keep their own surnames, but from anecdotal evidence, both of my grandmothers took my grandfathers surnames upon marriage and it took me a while to figure out my grandmothers’ maiden surnames.

    • Houda

      Single, never been in a relationship (overachieving woman problem in a macho society…). In my country, women keep their names and men keep their names. This was never a question. Even if I marry a foreigner, I plan on keeping my identity. But I guess this is very cultural.

      • Anonymous

        Your response mirrors my feeling, it’s a part of my identity. I would still be me of course if I changed it but I also feel that I would be giving up something.

      • cbackson

        I lived in a country where it’s standard for women to keep there names, and it’s always funny to me how many Americans absolutely cannot grasp that tradition on this issue is culturally specific. Like, the country I lived in was not particularly forward-thinking on women’s issues in any way. It just wasn’t traditional to change your name.

    • SoCalAtty

      No, didn’t change. Still married so no answer to the others! I don’t think I would ever change it.

    • Bette

      I did not change my name when I got married, a few years ago, when I was in my late 20s. I never considered changing my name. Reasons: My mother never changed her name, and I grew up thinking that it was normal. My husband, who is roughly my age, didn’t particularly care. My “maiden” last name (which is my father’s last name) reflects my ethnicity in a way that my husband’s would not. I have a hard time imagining changing something so fundamental as my name at this stage in life. That said, we couldn’t figure out a great way to deal with our eventual kids’ names, so they will just have my husband’s last name, similar to how I have my father’s.

    • NOLA

      Was married. Changed my name. Similar ethnic background to our names and I didn’t think it was a big deal so I did it. Changed it back after my divorce and would never change it again.

    • Senior Attorney

      1. Married H1, changed birth name to his name, mostly for aesthetic reasons because I always hated my birth name.

      2. Kept H1 name when divorced him.

      3. Changed H1 name to H2 name when I married H2. Didn’t want/plan to, but H2 kind of tricked me into it and I felt stuck. (Long stupid story.)

      4. Divorced H2, changed back to H1 name for reasons aesthetic (still hate birth name), practical (there’s at least some professional history in that name, plus it’s on my law school diploma), and emotional (H1 is the same name as my son plus very bad feelings about H2 and don’t want his name any more).

      Will never ever ever in a million billion years change it again!!

      • Kate

        My mother in law went through a similar progression. She had H1’s last name for 20 years, then H2’s last name for 15 years. She’s been divorced from H2 for 10 years now, still has his name and sometimes talks about changing back to H1’s name. Her sons (my husband being one of them) are opposed to this plan. Their father (H1) is long dead, she hasn’t had their last name since the 80s, and they just think it would be super weird. I think you were smart to make the switch back quickly to match your child! Kid and professional reasons seem like great reasons to me for sticking with H1’s name long term.

        • Must be Tuesday

          My future MIL changed to H1’s name, kept it after they were divorced, and still kept H1’s name when she married H2. She is now divorced from H2, and she still has H1’s name. She married very young and all her kids are with H1, so that may be part of the reason.

    • Kate

      Married, changed my last name. I like to keep things simple and this seemed simplest to me. If I’d had several years of professional life with my maiden name, I might have thought about it differently, but I got married right at the start of my career. I figure the name I started with is just some man’s name (sorry Dad!) so what’s the difference?

      I hope there’s no divorce in my future but if that happens I would probably stick with my last name to match my kids, and also because I’ve been known by this name professionally for so long.

    • Trisha

      1. Took my husband’s name for first marriage and changed back after the divorce.
      2. Took my second husband’s name happily! We have a son together and we are a family unit of three.
      3. The only way I would not have taken my husband’s name is if I had a private practice as a lawyer and was well known.

    • Anonymity

      Married and didn’t change my name. I’d never admit this to anyone IRL, but I would have considered changing my name if DH didn’t have such a non-Jewish name. Judaism is part of my identity and his name is not Jewish at all. I don’t however have any problem with his being Christian.

      • cbackson

        I don’t think that’s weird, for what it’s worth. Part of the reason I took my ex-husband’s name when we got married was because it was very Jewish and I wanted to indicate to his family (who had some concern about whether or not my non-Jewish self would embrace their heritage) that I honored that part of him. Culture and identity are complicated.

      • Must be Tuesday

        I also don’t think that’s weird at all. One of my mentors took her husband’s Italian last name, and was uncomfortable with it. She switched back to her non-Italian maiden name after her divorce, and said she would never do that again.

        I’m not inclined to change my name under any circumstances, but even if I were, I would definitely hesitate to take my fiancé’s name, which is very obviously tied to an ethnicity that I don’t share. His sister took her husband’s Anglicized last her name when she married, and I suspect the cultural identity may have had something to do with it. She has mentioned in the past that she didn’t like the cultural assumptions that people made about her when they heard her maiden last name. She’s generally pretty feminist and non-conformist (which isn’t to say that feminists can’t change their names), so I have wondered if wanting to shed the ethnic marker of her maiden name may not have been at least part of her motivation for changing her name.

    • Zelda

      Not married, have no intention of changing my name ever. When I was really young (teens, maybe early 20’s), I just assumed I would change my name, but the older I get, the more I feel that my name is a strong part of my identity and I just don’t want to change it. Although I appreciate my family heritage/connection, my reason for not wanting to change is that it feels just as much my name as my first and middle names do, and I wouldn’t change those either.

      If I had kids, I would like them to be First Middle MyLast HisLast. I’m ok if they mostly go by First HisLast, but I want their official names to be from both of us.

    • Amelia Bedelia

      I married fairly young and changed my name (just dropped my maiden name). I love that I did it. We’ve been married nearly 12 years and I love that I joined “his” family. I am in a very patriarch based religion and it is taught that a woman should change her name to match his. For this reason, I always thought in my teens I wouldn’t change my name. But then I fell in love and my reasoning fell out the window. And frankly, I’m glad it did. Some things you can feel through rather than think through.

    • quailison

      Married 7 years, married young, kept my name, still married. My mom kept her name and so my name is First MomLast Dadlast. My son is First MyLast HusbandLast. Doesn’t seem to confuse anyone, and most dual-name couples I know went this route (though some are alternating last names for kids. We are likely only going to have one, so not an option.) After growing up with my mom keeping her name, in the Midwest (so not a very common occurrence) I really don’t get the “it’s confusing” argument, but I understand that it might be a regional problem/tradition.

      What’s more confusing is that I go by my full name professionally and so people always assume that I changed my name after marriage since I used all three names – so my husband is often called Mr. MyLast (which is kind of awesome.) Among our friends, they use a little portmanteau of our names – imagine if I was Ms. Unicorn and he was Mr. Sasquatch, we would be The Unisquatches (or the Sascorns, but Unisquatches is better!)

  9. anonomom

    Love the Suit of the Week feature – normally one of the high points of Wednesday. I was disappointed to find it’s an April Fools joke. Guess that says how boring my life is.

    • Apples

      Only when I really really have to (like couldn’t wait til lunch for example) and then I sneak off to a different floor with a seldom-used bathroom. Then I realize that the security guys must be laughing at me thinking I can sneak anywhere with all the cameras in our building.

      • NOLA

        For some people, I guess. A friend of mine in HS wouldn’t go at school. Just wouldn’t. During the summer between our junior and senior years in college, he lived with my family. We went out one night to a drive-in movie theater (this was in the 80s) with a group of friends about 45 min away from my parents’ house. He came up to me and said “I have to go the the bathroom.” I said, ok, go. He said “AT HOME.” We left.

    • Anon for this

      Um, sadly, I am shy about this. I wish I weren’t, but for some reason I have a hard time. I’m working on it, though. FWIW, I’m aware that it’s a silly phobia, and my husband already makes fun of me mercilessly for it.

    • Senior Attorney

      OMG you guys! Somebody told me about Poopourri and it has been a gigantic Number Two game changer both at home and at work! (Also it was a lifesaver on a four-day romantic weekend in a Very Small Condo!) The commercial is hilarious but it’s a real product and works just as advertised!

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKLnhuzh9uY (semi-NSFW)

    • OOF

      I can’t even imagine how great it would be to have control over this. The way my body works – when it’s time, it’s time, and with not too much advance warning.

    • Zelda

      Of course! If I know that it’s coming, I use the private bathroom (my company has several unisex, single person bathrooms in addition to the usual multi-stall bathrooms), but sometimes there’s no advance warning. Everybody poops!

  12. Leigh

    Has anyone used one or all: Plated, Hello Fresh, and/or Blue Apron? I’m trying Plated this week (first delivery on Friday), but I’m wondering if any of you have preferences on one vs the other, or if it really just comes down to price…

    • Wildkitten

      Try them all with their new-subscriber discount! I loved Blue Apron at half price but full price is pricey…

      • Leigh

        Yeah, my first Plated order was only $24, because they were running a promotion on Facebook. I got 6 plates for $24. I think Plated is even more pricey than Blue Apron, but I can’t remember (Looked at too many similar services this week). I doubt I’ll do it too often because of price, but I’m looking forward to trying it!

        • Burgher

          All of these seem so expensive (at full price) when you look at the cost compared to what you would spend buying the ingredients at the grocery store yourself. Then you still have to actually prep, cook it, and do the dishes. I don’t get it. Is it just the ease of having it delivered and ready to go? Do people just have really terrible grocery stores where they can’t get ingredients? Do people just not want to google a recipe?

          • Bonnie

            Wow, you seem fun. It is worth it for us. $20 for a delicious meal is not that much and half the cost of delivery. It also gives us a chance to try things we wouldn’t normally gravitate to, like fennel dust and Asian spices. And Blue Apron saves us time because everything is already premeasured and the recipes efficiently show how to get all of the components done at the same time. Skipping a trip to the grocery store is a bonus as well.

    • Bonnie

      We use Blue Apron and will continue to do so once a month or so. Some of the menus are worth it but others are not. One of the meals this week is a salad without any protein.

    • SoCalAtty

      I started with Blue Apron, then switched to Plated because Plated lets you choose, whereas Blue Apron just sends the meal out. I’m a little bit of a picky eater and have some dietary restrictions, so Plated worked better. Then we just got crazy busy and haven’t had time to cook at all, so I let it lapse. Should probably get back on that! We really did enjoy it.

    • OCAssociate

      I used Hello Fresh off and on for a few months. Really liked the recipes, but in almost every box there were items that had already gone bad or didn’t last more than a few days in the fridge. I cancelled, but would possibly sign up again in the future. Plus I kept the recipe cards and occasionally make some of the recipes.

    • me

      I’ve tried Plated and Blue Apron (Hello Fresh is next). While Plated is definitely expensive (and their “fancy” dinners are ridiculous), the recipes are MUCH better, less fussy. Blue Apron had something in each one that just annoyed me to try to be doing on a weeknight (and I consider myself a pretty good home cook). Too many dishes, all that. Plated is very sanely written, with things that really can be done in a short period of time. And yummy. Quality is excellent. Thing I don’t like is that 1) veggie meals cost the same as non-veggie. really? and 2) you can only order 2 or 4 servings. I have 2 young kids, 4 would be way too much, but I find myself making a separate meal for the kids each Plated night, which gets annoying.

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