Suit of the Week: Ann Taylor

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professional young woman wears pink linen suit with matching pink top and (ugh) white sandals

For busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional. Also: we just updated our big roundup for the best women's suits of 2024!

I'm going to have to go through the archives here (which can be hit or miss when it comes to things like pink suits), but I think this is one of the loveliest pink suits I've ever seen.

Everything about it seems perfect — the flared bits aren't too flared, the waist isn't too high, the pink isn't too, well, PINK… they're all perfect. I also don't remember seeing a pink linen suit before. Elle Woods jokes aside, it really does look like the perfect pink linen suit.

The suit comes in regular and petite sizes, with not one but two matching dresses.

As of 2024, some of our latest favorite pink suits for women include saturated pinks from Theory, Tahari, Banana Republic Factory, and Eloquii. For blazers, try J.Crew Factory.

Sales of note for 2/7/25:

  • Nordstrom – Winter Sale, up to 60% off! 7850 new markdowns for women
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 25% off your $175+ purchase — and $30 of full-price pants and denim
  • Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 15% off
  • Boden – 15% off new season styles
  • Eloquii – 60% off 100s of styles
  • J.Crew – Extra 50% off all sale styles
  • J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything including new arrivals + extra 20% off $125+
  • Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 40% off one item + free shipping on $150+

175 Comments

  1. This is so pretty.

    I’m thinking of taking my kids on a vacation solo this summer for the first time. I want somewhere really easy, near a major airport, that won’t cost an arm and a leg. I’m in a major hub in the central time zone. What would you do?

    1. easier to advise if you told us the age of your kids and where you were starting from. a week? long weekend?

    2. depends on your kids, i think — if they’re game for city things like museums and shopping and restaurants then do chicago or boston.

      i will say that we’ve been surprised by how fun trips to random little towns 2-3 hours away from us by car can be. we had a blast in toledo as well as pittsburgh, of all places.

        1. Agree! The National Aviary, Carnegie museums, Andy Warhol Museum. And I think I saw that you can do canoe trips around the city.

    3. This is not quite enough information to help pick a fun, easy trip! How long will the trip be? How old are your kids? What do you guys like to do? How many kids are you talking about?

      if you have older kids, who like a city and you only have a long weekend, my first thought was to fly in/out of Boston, public transportation to a downtown hotel — it’s cool, lots of activities, you can toss in a whale watch if you want nature, etc.

    4. How old are the kids? Are you looking to stay within the US or international? What are you/they into?
      People will probably suggest all-inclusive resorts but personally I find the beach just about the hardest to do without my spouse, at least until kids are quite a bit older (8+) and more independent with things like sunscreening and bathing.
      I think big cities are a good bet if your kids like zoos and children’s museums, and they get even more fun as your kids get older and can do things like theater, nicer restaurants and more interesting museums. NYC is a classic; San Diego also has lots of good stuff for kids, and I’ve also really enjoyed some less obvious choices like Denver and Phoenix.

    5. I think that Boston has a good mix of activities for kids. San Diego or Laguna Beach could also be fun if you prefer more beach centric with other activities.

    6. Chicago person here. I recently went to Chattanooga and could not think of a more delightful place. Great mix of city and country. Outstanding aquarium, nearby amusement park, zoo, boat rides down the river, rafting, cave exploration, and lot of great museums, especially if you’re looking to teach about African American history or civil war. And the food. Such glorious food.

      1. That’s a couple hours drive for my family – going to add it to my list! Thank you for the recommendation.

        1. Sticky Fingers BBQ is not to be missed! I buy their bottles sauce for home just to not miss it. Yes, Chatanooga is a good place!

    7. I liked Gettysburg for a side trip from DC. You can walk it (or drive it, but that seems to divorce you from the human scale of things). Gettysburg was fought in the summer, in wool uniforms.

      Also, an easy drive west from NYC or Newark Airport: The Poconos. Go tubing on the Delaware. Water parks. Not so hot.

    8. I’d fly to Austin, New Orleans, Denver, or San Diego. Austin: walk around. Paddle board, swim at Barton Springs, check out Zilker. See if there’s a good show. Maybe check out COTA.
      Nola: stay around Magazine. Eat go to the zoo. People watch. Look at antiques. Don’t go in August but people still venture out there in summer.
      Denver: drive to Fort Collins and walk around. Go for some hikes. Or check out downtown. Go to a baseball game.
      San Diego: zoo, Balboa park. The beach.
      Mexico, if they have passports. Just chill at a resort.

      1. I would not go to NOLA or Austin in the summer. It’s too hot. DC can also be quite hot. I’d do Chicago, Boston, Seattle or San Diego for summer

      1. And the Smithsonian’s and National Zoo are free. Metro is easy to use and gets you almost anywhere you’d want to go. Plus we are technically served by three airports (cue the Dulles jokes).

    9. I’m in Nashville–

      Chattanooga– for the reasons described above. Super easy to get around by car, but there is also a walkable area downtown near the aquarium with restaurants. Very kid friendly. You can do Lookout Mountain, Rock City, etc. I think there is plenty to do there for a weekend, but you are also within an hour of a lot of really nice hiking if you want to do that.

      Atlanta– Aquarium, Coke museum. Every drives everywhere so weather doesn’t really matter.
      Pensacola– Beach but also the airplane museum, cute downtown, etc.
      Huntsville — Space and rocket center.
      Birmingham– Very nice children’s museum and civil rights museum. Nice zoo.

    10. I have 3 elem age kids and I’d do Niagara. Stay on the Canadian side in the great wolf lodge.’

      I’ve also done solo road trips with them to places like Hershey Pa, or DC.

      1. I was going to suggest the same thing. If not Niagara, I would do Montreal or Quebec.

    1. I think all yoga is somatic. But if there are new approaches to try to get people more mindful and embodied within their yoga practice, I don’t see how that would be a bad thing.

    2. +1 to everyone saying it’s just a new label. I’m more cautious of the term “somatic therapy” – I think it’s pretty much the same thing. I saw an Indian teacher pointing out that it’s an attempt to whitewash yoga and claim it as something new, and I think she’s right. It seems to be a bunch of white people taking yoga concepts and branding them as something new vs. thousands of years old passed down by Indian yogis.

      However, as long as they actually keep calling it yoga I’m not too annoyed; at least one can reference back to the roots if we’re calling it yoga and not just a new kind of therapy. I continuously go back to Deepak Chopra’s big tent yoga approach and that all paths in are good ones. I think stealing the concepts and not referencing at all to yoga is a little b.s. though.

    3. I am in yoga teacher training and have never heard that term. Off to “research.”

    4. That at least sounds more legit than my friend’s “decolonizing yoga.” which I don’t really get

      1. I don’t know what decolonizing yoga is, but I feel like I do know what colonizer yoga is

      2. Well yoga in the west has certainly been culturally appropriated and colonized, so I’m sure your friends “decolonizing yoga” the attempt to course correct from that. Susanna Barkataki is a yoga expert in this area and teaches about it, and has a great course about it. I’ve been a yoga teacher for 7 years and it’s definitely something that more yoga teachers should learn more about and be mindful of as we teach.

        If your friend is white and centering herself through her efforts to “decolonizing yoga”, which I definitely see a lot of, that is something I don’t really get either. I would really side eye a “decolonizing yoga” class taught by a white teacher. Just call it yoga and teach yoga.

        1. Aren’t white liberal women the most likely to preach about decolonizing yoga, though?

        2. Yes this is my issue with it. I’m all for not culturally appropriating things, but in her mind this is some form of activism

  2. Just a friendly reminder that local elections, smaller runoff elections etc matter too. Last night two candidates (who i personally wanted to lose) won by fewer than 75 votes.

    1. in our last small community election, one of the trustees lost by 2 votes. My husband and I did not want him to be elected, and we were so grateful we went and voted – it very literally mattered.

  3. I’m looking for a good travel carry-on tote bag that’s not too heavy and fits under the seat in front. I was looking at the Away Everywhere Bag as a possibility. Does anyone have that one? Any good alternatives? I don’t need a shoe compartment.

    1. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: longchamp le pliage in black. Super lightweight, a classic, fits a ton, extremely durable.

      1. I gave that away, it’s super heavy. I like the paravel totes – they have a smaller one that’s perfect for under the seat and it’s cuter than the away bag.

    2. I have one and I don’t like it. For the amount of space it takes up it really doesn’t hold that much. And it does not comfortably fit under an airplane seat. You really have to shove it.

    3. I got the Calpak Luka Expandable Laptop Tote recently and I love it. It’s very easy to keep clean.

    1. John Frieda Frizz Ease Secret Weapon is a heat protectant as well as being my ride-or-die hair product for years.

  4. When people discuss that they’ll work forever because they don’t have the money to retire, I feel like people only focus on physical limitations. With a hybrid or remote desk job and generous sick time, working for forever really is possibly for many.

    However, this totally totally ignores the employees mental state. I have a teammate who really, really needs to retire. She’s only 70, which is pretty young, but mentally she’s not that sharp anymore. I don’t think it’s necessarily early memory or cognitive issues, it’s likely just general confusion with old age.

    She’s nice enough but she neither has the stamina to work a full work day, even remotely, and she makes more work for everyone. She’s on a different team in a different state, but I work with her nearly daily. I’m busy enough as is, but I end up tripling my work load going in circles with her, having to fix mistakes she makes all the time, and having similar conversations over and over.

    Not looking for advice, there’s nothing I can do here but it is frustrating. But just something for people to consider as they plan they retirement – even without physical or cognitive issues, you might not be able to work as long as you’d like.

    I hope for her sake she gets to retire soon – she’s a caretaker for her 94 year old mother and she has grandkids who are teenagers but live out of state (they’re almost as old as my youngest sibling). We work in state governments with decent pensions, so hopefully financially she’s set to retire soon

    1. If someone at age 70 is “not mentally sharp anymore,” there are cognitive issues. We often paint it as “normal” for older people to lose cognition, but generally, it isn’t. It’s common to take longer to find the right name, for example, but losing cognition for workplace tasks isn’t that.

      1. I guess I meant to specify that I don’t know (nor should I) if she has dementia or some other acute cognition issue.

        I am working with her on developing a policy and I do think her level of confusion is not normal for someone in the workforce.

        1. My aunt had Parkinson’s-related dementia and had to retire early (it helped that she was married and had her husband’s resources to fall back on; he was still working and had health insurance). My aunt felt it and also commuted by car through an area with deer and didn’t feel safe doing that.

          Your co-worker can get Medicare. But absent a danger, it may be hard to get rid of her. Is she still driving? Are you all air traffic controllers? Can this be on a PIP with HR?

          1. I’m her peer, so couldn’t initiate anything. We work in financial compliance / regulation so it’s important to get right and has very real consequences on our citizens who really need the money if it’s wrong, but it’s not life or death.

            As I said, I’m her peer so it’s not up to me to work with HR or recommend a PIP but if I recall correctly, memory and cognition related conditions are covered under the ADA so I’m not sure how thatd even work.

          2. If dementia is covered under the ADA how does that even work? I thought the ADA required accommodation if the person was able to do the job with reasonable accommodations, like the blind person my husband worked with who was great at his job but needed a screen reader and an assistant to handle papers. I don’t know how a person with cognitive dysfunction could actually perform the job themself even with accommodations–the accommodations would essentially be another person doing the work.

          1. +1 all the 70 year olds I know are fine mentally. If a 70 year old has noticeable cognitive issues there’s a medical problem.

          2. Totally agree. My parents, aunts and uncles are all mid 60s – mid 70s and none of them, retired or not, are like this which is why it’s jarring to me.

            Admittedly, my retired relatives aren’t up on newer technology, but they were while they were working! This coworker struggles with functions of Word, Outlook, and Teams that we use regularly. And have been shown / explained to her several times (weekly). And, these are not new features; our team has been using Track Changes for decades.

            However, her issues aren’t limited to technology – that’s just one example of how her cognitive decline is apparent.

          3. I agree. I had pretty bad cognitive issues in my 30s. I feel like it was because I was in my 30s that I was taken seriously, diagnosed, treated, and recovered.

          4. Don’t forget that some individuals, no matter their age but especially someone 70 plus, may be dealing with ‘chemo brain’ side efects even years after receiving treatment. Or other similar, medication-caused cognitive changes. However, for OP this specific idea may/may not apply.

    2. Given some of the discussions here, I wonder about this myself. I like my job, it’s a physically easy desk job, and worry that while I wouldn’t get bored in retirement, my social muscles would probably atrophy quite a bit. I worry that once I stop going to work and finally can devote tons of time to hobbies (none of which are social), I will quickly become that elderly stubborn and narrow-minded person that we sometimes see our elders become once they stop working.

      I’d love to just keep working, maybe going part time. I feel like that would keep me sharp. The idea of declining to the point where I am not able to contribute at work scares me.

        1. +1 volunteer work. Pick one organization to join, consistently show up to meetings, say yes when they offer a leadership role which they will certainly do, and then lean into that. There’s more than enough work there to make it an interesting job that can keep your social muscles fit.

          1. Re: volunteering- how do you justify getting out of bed on a rainy day to do something for free when you used to get paid like $150/hour? It just seems so depressing.

          2. Because I want to help a cause I care about?
            Because I care about my community?
            Because I don’t want to work anymore and volunteering a few hours a week is fine but working isn’t?

            You could also volunteer in something totally unrelated to your career.

          3. You justify it by knowing that you’re contributing to a cause that you care about. Seeing the fruits of your labor is pretty rewarding and motivating! You also justify it by knowing that you need to follow through on the commitment that you’ve made to others in the organization.

          4. All the volunteer work I’ve done has been *way* more fun than my paid job. That’s not to say it’s all sunshine and rainbows, but if you find the causes you care about and the type of work you enjoy (for me it’s kids, books and animals) I think it can be really fulfilling and enjoyable. But I’m not someone who was ever super passionate about my career.

            Also volunteering isn’t a 40 hr job so it’s less monotonous – much easier to drag yourself out of bed for a 2 hour volunteer shift knowing the rest of the day can be spend doing whatever than to drag yourself out of bed for 8+ hour work. At least for me.

      1. I was like you, but I did retire and am enjoying it. I need to purposely seek out social situations to keep that muscle active, and have found some social groups connected to hobbies that help.

      2. My former boss did very part-time consulting work for a long time after retirement. She’d still be doing it, but her partner has developed health issues so she’s a caregiver now. Former boss loved it. It provided enough mental stimulation but gave her plenty of flexibility to live her life.

      3. Could you add additional hobbies that are social? As mentioned, most of my relatives are in this age band and all are doing well in retirement with an array of hobbies. They all have at least one social and one physically active hobby, which seems good for them. My aunt has an entire group of friends from her yoga studio that she didn’t meet until she retired and could go to midday classes. They do yoga and strength classes, go out to lunch, and do a book club. Her membership at the gym is free through Silver Sneakers.

    3. I have a parent that’s had a lot of medical issues and is eligible for retirement with pension from his job. He’s convinced he “wants” to work till he dies. It’s pretty sad to watch. I feel for his colleagues, as he’s hard to have a normal conversation with because his cognitive function has taken a toll based on his medical issues. I can’t imagine if he was my coworker.

    4. So my dad is about to turn 75 and he works, granted only 3 days a week by choice. He’s an ophthalmologist. My mom had a series of health issues but needed to make it 8 months to qualify for some amazing retiree benefits at her job and her manager was a saint and let her coast by “working” from home (my mom became wheelchair bound at 64) and had meningitis as impacting her fine motor skills. Could your colleague have a special arrangement with her manager or some additional benefit she is waiting for it to vest? Also given that her 94 year old mother is still alive financially she might be thinking that she needs to be able to support herself for quite some time and/or maybe is supporting her mother

    5. It would help if there was better infrastructure for her. I would imagine the caretaking duties for her 94-year-old mother or significant and cause a lot of stress that can show up looking like cognitive issues. She may in fact be working so that she does not have to do even more of that kind of work.

      1. I wondered the same. Stress can do bad things to our bodies and minds. Plus, if you’re spread that thin, something’s gonna have to give.

      2. Respectfully, aside from age she probably doesn’t have any more on her plate than most of us. She’s not even in the sandwich generation. I know plenty of people who are caretaking for their parents, raising kids, and working

        1. Dont underestimate how hard it is caring for a 94 year old, especially one with dementia. That’s harder than dealing with young kids and aging but still generally healthy 70-something parents, from my personal experience. And if she’s not retired she probably doesn’t have great finances which is another big source of stress.

          1. I mean I was very hands on in caring for my grandparents as they aged, yes I was young but I’m pretty aware of what it entails.

            Her mom doesn’t have dementia and lives in a nearby assisted living. That doesn’t remove all of the work, but it does make it easier.

            Our jobs have pensions and provide healthcare in retirement. It’s not 100% of the pay you make while working but it’s quite close.

          2. She could be supporting her mother financially. Some assisted living facilities cost north of $10k per month — that’s a huge huge financial strain on anyone who isn’t the 1% (and probably even some of them!)

            You sound really unempathetic honestly. I’m “sandwich generation” with young kids and aging parents and I’m confident this poor woman’s life is more stressful than mine.

          3. I mean I really enjoy her as a person but when I’m teaching someone how to attach a document to an email twice a week every single week then I do run out of patience.

          4. As someone said below, there are inefficient employees of every age. If it’s creating more work for you, talk to your manager. But don’t make it about her mental decline – just stick to facts about the time you spend helping her or redoing her work.

          1. Given that you are not her manager and don’t feel like you have standing to raise this either with her manager or with HR — I think you need to just be “sorry, I’m in the middle of something/working on a deadline/etc”. You don’t have to walk her through email attachments.

    6. I think we are going to see more and more of this because repeated Covid infections have really beaten up most peoples cognitive functions.

        1. It shows up in studies, but I agree it can’t be “most people” who are severely affected.

          I will say that I took a part time teaching job during the pandemic, and the impact on certain students was undeniable and clearly lined up with when they got sick and not with the general circumstances of lockdown.

        2. I’ve seen it. My former boss had to retire early. He is one of the smartest people I know and post-infection struggled with reading and frequent headaches. It’s getting better now (been more than a year). He has gone through endless testing and specialists. I wouldn’t wish his situation on my worst enemy. I often think I had it better with cancer because at least I didn’t have people constantly challenging me on my illness. A distant relative also has gone through similar though not as severe.

          It’s not most people. But it’s definitely out there.

      1. I don’t think we’ll see the true effects of Covid for 10-20 years but I do believe it likely did systemic damage to a lot of us that will result in earlier deaths.

        Re cognitive decline though it has to be said – the legalization of weed isn’t going to help. (And I say that as someone trying to be Cali sober!)

    7. I have worked with some people over 70 who are as sharp as tacks, and with others who are clearly declining but don’t want to give up feeling important. The most difficult cases are the ones who are no longer at their peak but are still capable of performing at some level; these are usually the ones who were giants in their day and have the most difficult time knowing when to step down gracefully. One example was a relatively famous conductor I worked with when he was 89. He was clearly no longer 100% with it, but on the other hand he could still communicate some very musical ideas and get the job done pretty darn well.

      One big issue I have with older folks who hang on too long is that they also tend to be the self-centered ones who won’t mentor the next generation, create opportunities for them, or even just get out of their way. This is a huge problem in the Democratic party right now.

      1. I see you’ve met my former boss. TBH, the last few years that we worked together were very, very difficult for me. I was relieved when she stepped aside, finally.

      2. My friend’s mom was very acrimoniously pushed out of her law practice where she was a partner, partially due to cognitive decline. Turns out she has Huntingdons and didn’t have the ability to work for years but hid it well until she didn’t.

        1. These are exactly the people who need to admit their limitations and step down. Go on disability or retire depending on age. It’s not fair to anyone, including themselves, when they keep “working.” If she was a law partner she presumably had insurance and lots of savings, or at least she should have.

    8. At my previous role we had an employee like this, and it was very sad because she caused a lot of frustration among the team because she basically didn’t do anything, or understand anything, and needed a lot of hand holding for basic parts of the job. She had clearly been very sharp in previous roles but that was absolutely no longer the case. She was eventually laid off in a “restructuring” and it was a really sad way to end her career.

    9. I’m kind of surprised by these posts.

      A lot of changes can happen with aging. Shoot, even when I was in my 40s I know I wasn’t as sharp and fast as I was in my 20s/30s. The challenges of perimenopause and sleep disruption means even before considering health problems, just the sleep disruptions with aging alone and what it does to my function/energy level is a challenge. Nevermind the new medical issues. The idea of having to work at 70 puts a chill down my spine.

      Those of you who say you don’t know anyone in their 70s with these issues…. do you really hang out with a lot of 70 year olds? “She’s only 70″… my Mom was dead long before 70 and my other older family members have had or still have serious medical problems in the 60s. We have a lot of cancer in our family.

      And FYI – Medicare is not great insurance if you have some of the more rare disorders, many cancers, and if you have expensive medications or have some disabilities. There are many things that Medicare doesn’t cover. For this reason, continuing to work so you are eligible for commercial insurance is an option some folks have to do as long as possible.

      And oh my god… she has likely been a caregiver for her 94 year old mother for years?!?! Obviously none of the posters criticizing her can relate to what that means. I can, as it can be incredibly stressful and expensive and depressing road.

      Mercy folks mercy…..

        1. I’m not trying to be critical. I really feel for her but also she really should not still be working.

          With our pension we’re also lucky to be able to keep our health insurance in retirement.

        2. The criticism is of the fact that she’s insisting on “working” when she really can’t, not that she has reduced capacity. If she’s 70 she’s old enough to retire and should do so if she’s no longer capable of doing the job.

          Sometimes the responsible thing to do is to know when to say when. I had a high-stress job and a high-needs child and just couldn’t give them both the attention they demanded. There were many reasons why the job was really terrible, so I left it to stay home with my kid for a year. It was the right thing to do by all concerned.

          1. Yes, I’m not frustrated at my coworker just at the situation. I spend 2-3 hours a day walking her through basic tasks, going over the and info over and over again, and correcting her mistakes. I already have a full plate at work, I don’t have time for this.

            Pretty much our entire team has young kids, aging parents, or both. No one really has the capacity to pick up the slack.

            Between our pensions + social security (not even counting other savings, investments, or 401k), she’d hardly be taking a paycut by retiring. We also get to keep health insurance in retirement.

            She is involved in her church and garden club and likes visiting her grandkids, so she has activities outside of work. She and her nearby sister both help out their elderly mom who is in assisted living nearby – that definitely takes time and energy but isn’t all consuming.

            I’m half her age but my time and energy is also limited, and I can’t commit extra hours a day to cover for her – I have my own work and familial commitments too.

          2. The people I know who are working at 70 can’t afford not to. How is it responsible to stop paying bills?

          3. Well it’s irresponsible when your a public servant doing work that has very real consequences and you cannot do it properly, thus messing things up for people who depend on the work.

      1. I mean I do spend a fair amount of time with a group of 8 relatives in their 70s and they truly don’t have cognitive or physical limitations. I was bodysurfing and SUPing with my 74 year old aunt over the weekend.

        My family either dies young and suddenly (heart attack, very fast and aggressive cancer in which you go from diagnosis to death in months) or lives into their 90s still doing housework, climbing stairs, and doing the daily soduku and crossword before breakfast.

      2. I said I don’t know any 70 year olds with cognitive decline, and I know quite a few. All my parents and in-laws are mid-70s and very sharp (also 3 out of 4 still working (by choice, not necessity)). I also saw my grandparents age. 1 of the 4 died in his 60s, but the other three did not have any serious decline until 80+. I also know 70-somethings from work, hobbies and my kids’ friends grandparents, and although I’m not as close to them as I am to my family, none of them seem remotely senile. I let my daughter’s BFF’s 73 year old grandma drive them, and that’s not something I take lightly.

        Obviously some people die before 70 but that doesn’t mean most 70 year olds who are still alive have mental decline. That’s not how aging and death work.

      3. I know a lot of people in their 70s and only one has dementia. The difference between them is absolutely astounding. It’s the difference between mountain biking at 74 and complex route-finding and struggling to remember whether you drove or took the bus to your usual store.

      4. Thank you! I was thinking the same thing ‘Have Mercy’.

        I think it’s helpful to reframe these annoyances of working with others sometimes. This elder lady is in need of some grace. She is probably working because she has to.

        I worked with disabled veterans at one point. It was great when they were only missing a limb. Many had complex PTSD and as hard as it was for me it was humbling to see these people really struggle all day long every single day. This lady is probably well aware that she isn’t well and is most probably struggling along.

        There will be a time in your life when you are this lady, for me it was when I had problematic pregnancies and subsequent children have disabilities. For my previous boss, he was in a car accident and had a brain aneurysm. Years later and he still has issues sometimes and I always discreetly covered for him. I would think if this as paying it forward and hope people show you grace when you need it.

    10. Accommodations for cognition work same as any ADA accommodations – can the person *do the core responsibilities of the job* with *reasonable* accommodations? Reasonable accommodations might be stuff like: getting instructions in writing rather than verbally, or a flexible schedule to allow breaks, or getting an AI notetaker to transcribe meetings

    11. I should clarify caretaking – her mom lives in a nearby assisted living. My coworker helps her mom out with paperwork , driving, and provides companionship so she does a lot with her mom but isn’t the primary caretaker.

      1. It’s still a huge time commitment and source of emotional and probably financial stress.

      2. You just seem to want to give zero grace here. I hope you never encounter someone who tries to be your manager who isn’t.

        1. No, OP is not at all out of line here. This situation isn’t sustainable and it’s creating far too much work for OP. We are ALL in different stressful life situations.

          1. But if it’s creating work for OP, the problem is her manager. Lots of people are crappy employees for various reasons; the main issue is that her manager doesn’t have her back and is letting her do all the extra work.

    12. I worry about this for myself, because I cannot foresee being able to retire but I also am aware that at 35 there was a noticeable (to me) mental decline and then another at 45, so I expect a few more steps down over the next decades.

        1. The kind I am talking about is, it is just that lots of people ignore or deny it. I am talking about not being able to stay up all night anymore, needing to focus on one thing vs. multitasking. Then at 45 grasping just occasionally for the right word, no longer being able to remember without notes the details of 50 cases, needing to calendar everything and keep a strict running to do list instead of just remembering things. It’s still pretty high functioning, but it’s not the same and there will be more steps down coming.

          1. Okay. Grasping for the right word and memory issues were treatable issues for me. My philosophy is that if something that happens more as we get older can be addressed, I plan to do something about it, whether it’s sleep issues, endocrine issues, GI issues, cardiovascular issues, nutritional issues… I don’t agree with branding anti-aging medicine as anti-aging; it’s really just “medicine” to me, but I am all for it.

    13. So, forgetting the casual ageism here, I’ve worked with coworkers of every age who were utterly useless and created more work for everyone. If there’s a course of action here, it’s to talk to your own manger about the extra work created by coworker. But don’t make it about her age.

      1. I have brought it up to my manager (without bringing up age or suspected mental decline) several times but crickets.

        My manager was previously her manager and thinks she’s great, which she was. I worked with her on projects in the past and she didn’t have these issues.

        1. Do you have to help her correct her work? If your manager isn’t asking you to get involved, can’t you just say no?

          1. I’m my departments QC person for lack of a better term, so everything from the department’s 4 teams goes through me before it’s finalized. We’re on different teams with different supervisors but I still have to approve everything.

            We also are on a workgroup together – I was only supposed to do the QC for it but now I am very involved because this coworker was appointed the workgroup leader years ago and can no longer handle it.

          2. If you have to QC her work and it’s bad, and you’ve documented that it’s bad and your manager is doing nothing and fixing it is taking you longer than it should, that’s definitely a manager problem.

            I’m kind of surprised this is the first useless employee you’ve encountered. It’s pretty common. The real issue here isn’t this employee doing a bad job due to stress or age or just not giving an f. It’s that she’s creating extra work for you and your manager doesn’t care.

          1. Then your manager talks with coworker’s manager. And talks with you about what to prioritize when there’s a conflict between correcting coworker’s work and the other stuff on your plate. Prioritizing when there’s too much to be done & navigating Team X is causing a problem for my team are core responsibilities of a manager

          2. But your manager could go to her manager. I agree either 1) you’re responsible for her work, in which case you have a manager problem (and you said your manager thinks she’s great so he/she seems to be in denial) or 2) you’re not responsible for her work and you should tell her now.

          3. OP it seems like you just want to b1tch about an older lady more than actually do anything about it.

  5. Inspired by the skirt thread this morning: what top do we wear with a pleated midi skirt? I see either tight fitting tops or button front blouses but neither works well for me; I’m short waisted and busty. Also I’m not sure how people are wearing a tucked in blouse with a light flowy fabric? How does it not bunch up around your tummy??

    1. The basic thing is you need a waist with that kind of skirt. So you could do a bodysuit, a tucked-in or tied-up t-shirt, tank, long sleeve tee, etc. Or a lightly cropped top of any variety.

    2. You could also add a boxy jacket that is cropped — I like cropped denim or a “lady” jacket / cardigan. Can only have volume in one part of an outfit or it’s overwhelming on me.

    3. Shrunken, not quite cropped, light weight knits or tees. I’ve found about an inch of fabric to tuck in is about the sweet spot of staying tucked without having too much bulk.

  6. Since it’s Elder Week here at the blog, does anyone roughly know:
    – % of people who just die a natural death at home
    – % of people who live mostly at home and die after a short hospitalization (say cancer then they get the flu and that or pneumonia is the last straw)
    – % of people who need substantial care but stay in their home and someone has to manage that (that seems to be where all of the discussion comes from this week, or the sense that there is a problem that’s not solvable)?

    I guess there are other outcomes. I wonder how likely the third option is (and we have 3 parents to deal with and 1 older sibling who is already showing signs of hoarding and poor decision and medical needs but is still working), so over that population, I can see this all happening on way or another. Where do you go to learn more about this on background? When I was pregnant, there were a million books to read. We will all get older. Where do we start? All I know well is saving for retirement.

      1. As I feared but suspected:

        It falls on the daughters. RESULTS:
        38.9% of older adults died at home, followed by hospital (33.1%), and nursing or hospice facility (28.0%). In an adjusted multinomial logistic regression, decedents with larger household size (odds ratio [OR]: 0.441; 95% confidence interval [CI]: 0.269–0.724) and more daughters (OR: 0.743 [95% CI: 0.575 – 0.958]) had lower odds of dying in nursing or hospice facility relative to dying at home. For older adults who died at home, caregivers provided 209.8 hours of help at LML. In contrast, when death occurred in nursing or hospice facility, caregivers provided 91.6 fewer hours of help, adjusted for decedent and caregiver characteristics. Dying in hospital was associated with higher odds of caregiver emotional difficulty relative to home deaths (OR: 4.093 [95% CI: 1.623–10.323]).

        1. It doesn’t have to fall on daughters. No one is forcing any daughter to care for her parents any more than they are forcing sons. It’s a choice women make.

          1. I’m sure it’s because women are more likely ti be mommy tracked, so if they’re already stepped back in their career to focus on family it’s expected that they’ll continue to do so.

          2. Yeah but if you already leaned out in the young kids years and are struggling to lean back in, it unfortunately makes more sense for the daughter / DIL to keep leaning out and do elder care rather than have the son / SIL to harm
            His career too.

          3. Late but: my aunt has a full time job. My father, her brother, is retired. Guess who is at grandma’s every day, sleeping there several times a week? Not my father. He says this level of care is unnecessary, and anyway, his mother voted for the wrong candidate in the 2016 election, and he has to protect his mental health. From this anecdata of one, I don’t think this has as much to do with mommy tracking as with those same reasons that men leave their sick wives much more often than vice versa. Is it empathy? Human decency? Coping skills? I would have previously said my father is a decent person. When he was a teenager he was stabbed while successfully preventing the kidnapping of a young woman.

    1. When you say “die a natural death at home” you mean – just die in their sleep with no symptoms or decline? I’d assume that’s a small number.

    2. Don’t many people die in nursing homes or assisted living facilities? That seems like a huge category you left out.

      1. So keep in mind these are two different types of homes that serve different functions. Assisted living homes, you are generally paying for yourself. Skilled nursing facilities, you need to have a medical reason to live in them and it is generally covered 90 days a year at most by Medicare. Thereafter, and for Assisted living, you generally pay out-of-pocket. Unless you were on Medicaid, you are generally paying for caregivers yourself. Private insurance does not cover the services, much to many peoples confusion, except for some skilled nursing care intermittently.

      2. OP here. I forgot that, but in our family, that has been just for the last few weeks or a month or two following a hospital discharge (for mini-strokes, etc.) vs any sort of planned voluntary choice. And often it was “it wasn’t safe to go home” like the person was falling and no one was strong enough to get them back up (and was at risk from even trying).

        I’ve seen hospice-at-home need 2 relatives who are nurses (I’m not) and all of the paid helper and it was still emotionally exhausting for them. IDK that this is the route. I want to die at home now only in an unexpected way.

        1. Oh wow, all my grandmothers and great-grandmothers were in assisted living for years before they died. The men in our family typically die more suddenly (heart attacks, etc.) but some of them spent a lot of time in assisted living too.

          I will say that it is still emotionally exhausting for the caregiver even if the elderly person is in assisted living. I watched my mom do it with her mom. There’s a lot of logistical stuff to deal with, you get calls all the time from the facility with issue, the person regularly has medical problems or gets hospitalized, etc. My mom regularly canceled plans because of eldercare, even with my grandmother in a facility. And it’s especially taxing if the elderly person has dementia and doesn’t know who you are.

          1. +1 to this. My parents were in assisted living for seven years altogether and it was… a lot. It’s not like you can just stick ’em in there and forget about ’em.

      3. Yes, all of my grandparents moved to (and eventually died in) retirement communities.

    3. I have no clue but of my four grandparents, one died fairly young (low 60s) of a heart attack. One was your second option- went into the hospital with some health issues and never left mid 70s. One was your third listing- had a stroke and needed full time help at home (the person who we loved and felt close to stole from him) and ultimately got a tumor and then died rather quickly, but i think it was a couple of years at home with the aide. And the 4th grandparent had Alzheimer’s and started out in assisted living before progressing to full memory care. My mom is also deceased and she died at home at 65 with hospice care at home due to non cancerous brain tumors. Since my mom died fairly young my dad was able to manage her care. Both my parents are the responsible ones in their family and ended up managing the care for their parents until we relocated my grandmother to be in memory care closer to my uncle bc it was less expensive

      1. I think it knows for people, but for people north of 60? 70? 80?, it’s hard to break that out. Younger has too many fatal accidents and suicides to be helpful. It’s more the sudden declines that create the issues discussed here.

        1. And it’s not how many die and causes, but what daughter duties become thrust upon children suddenly and yet for months or years.

  7. if you poshmark or thrift, do you first make full-price purchases that you can easily return to test sizing, quality, fit, etc? after the discussion this morning on caftans i’m ogling pax philomena

    1. No. Given how much of returns are just trashed, even if unworn, that would negate the point of second hand to me.

      I look up the brands own size tables and look at eBay listings. I have more luck with accurate size descriptions in eBay descriptions than anywhere else, especially for things like pit to pit and waist measurements, which I compare to garments I already own.

      1. +1 that would be so wasteful!

        The things I buy from Poshmark are usually items I’ve already owned before or from brands I’ve owned before. When I buy from TRR I have a sense of how things will fit based on how they look on their mannequins, but I try not to buy non-returnable things from brands I haven’t worn before.

      2. The problem I have had is that a size 10 blazer today does not have the same measurements as a size 10 blazer from years ago. I had a Trina Turk blazer I loved so I purchased a few on Poshmark. The ones I bought on Poshmark were dramatically smaller than the one I bought new and one of them had clearly had the sleeves altered for someone whose arms were quite short! So knowing the brand and current sizing does not always help.

        1. That’s true – and a problem that can be solved by buying to return in current models.

          I find that garments from the nineties and oughts are so much smaller for their intended look than what’s current that it’s difficult to style with modern looks.

    2. I don’t intentionally buy full-price first, as in, “This looks good on Poshmark; let me order one from Nordstrom to see if I like it.” But I almost only buy on Poshmark duplicates of items I already own. So I bought it at Nordstrom (or Athleta or Lululemon), liked it, and then bought other colors or just replacements on Poshmark. When I’ve bought anything on Poshmark that I did not already own, it has almost always been a waste of money.

    3. No. I buy secondhand if I already know something will fit me but I’m not returning the original to the store. That seems like bad juju.

      For instance, last summer I found a pair of pants that fit well. I’ve ordered several more pairs from Mercari. But I still have my original pair that I bought from the retailer.

        1. Me too. I feel better about the amount of $ I spent on the original item if I’ve gotten a few more colors secondhand. Returning it if I liked it doesn’t seem right.

          On the other hand if I love a pair of shoes I can’t afford, I may wait for them to show up used rather than buying them at all. But shoes depreciate a lot if they’ve been worn.

    4. Just came to say that Pax Philomena is One Size Fits Most. That said, I think the caftan I bought looks ridiculous on me, though perhaps I was doing something wrong. I hadn’t thought about the fact I could probably sell it secondhand, though.

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