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Suit of the Week: Banana Republic

For busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional.

I'm always intrigued to see a yellow suit — particularly a mustard-yellow suit for fall, which I don't think we've featured before. I like the unusual color, and I'm pondering how I would style it — I suppose it does work with the browns and beiges shown here, although I tend to like to pair yellow with grays and silvers. Hmmn.

Even more interesting: the suit also comes in a saturated teal and a lipstick red. Nice. All three colors are available in tall, petite, and regular sizes 0-20. The “sculpted fit Italian wool blazer” is $209, and the trousers are $149 (available in petite and regular sizes with 3 inseam options).

This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

Sales of note for 12.5

Sales of note for 12.5

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119 Comments

  1. I know someone who is returning to work after taking over a decade off to be a SAHM (field is low-paying and female-dominated (so plenty of people in her situation, maybe to a lesser degree), childcare was > income). Each year is a new job she is overqualified for (by education, which is several years in the rear-view mirror) but probably has less work experience than all but the brand-new hires. Each new job requires new training (technology, distance working, online onboarding, etc.). The pandemic surely has not helped, but each job has come with some sort of strong internal feuding almost immediately, long sit-downs with management and her, and a million texts to friends re “this is a toxic worplace.” When it’s 3 of these in 3 years, I’m leaning towards either friend is a bad picker or (much more likely) that friend is the problem. I know that when you get a barrage of 10-20 texts, one return text with a link might fix this, but is there such a thing as a career counselor for people like this? Friends now needs a job, post-divorce, and I hate to see her flailing around here. It’s like no one has ever said to her, if you don’t start by locking horns with co-workers and just nod and smile and attempt to do what is requested, it will probably get much better (at least not sink to the level of toxic)? I think maybe not, but this is painful to watch again.

    2. I’m in a similar situation, but, sadly, it’s my husband who can’t seem to handle the workplace. If there is a way to construe a comment as a personal attack, he will. Might your friend be extremely sensitive as the after effects of a difficult marriage and divorce? In my spouse’s case, I told him that there was nothing wrong with him but it seemed like his strategy for dealing with co-workers wasn’t working because a pattern was developing. I suggested working with a therapist to develop a more effective way to deal with co-workers. This was not effective in my case but I am putting it out there as an idea. Be warned, however, that my spouse definitely thought I was saying there was something wrong with him. (Really, I should have expected it given his propensity to interpret everything in the worst possible light.) Honestly, I’m basically following this thread in case someone suggests something I haven’t tried.

      1. My ex husband used to do this. He was smart but not people smart so he would go in, announce that everything was being done wrong and he was going to fix it, and get very indignant if people didn’t immediately bow to his vision. He essentially opted out of the workplace after a few years.

        1. My former husband was like this, too. Mercifully we settled our divorce and he permanently waived his right to spousal support before he was, inevitably, fired from his job for being That Guy once too often.

      2. My ex husband is exactly like this, and also always needs to be the biggest jerk in the room lest someone is a bigger jerk to him. He’s in tech though and keeps getting promoted. I’ve seen some of the emails he sends and they are… not good. Thankfully it’s all not my problem anymore.

    3. Agree that t his is not your problem to fix, but I would at least send her a link to Ask a Manager.

    4. OP here — I figured as much. Her latest ideal is that they should unionize. I’m not sure if that’s even allowed, but it is the sort of thing that is sure to make things worse short-term and in job #4 sooner vs later (and at some point, she’s going to run out of places to work in her area at the rate she’s going).

      1. OMG so she goes in being self important?? A work place doesn’t need a newcomer coming in proposing and advocating for big changes esp not right away – she just needs to do her work and be well liked enough and THEN maybe she can bring forth her ideas. I’d stay out of it.

      2. Do you think these are workplace culture mismatches? If she’s newly back in the workforce and the industry’s typical office culture is working through lunches, being glued to your desk/computer at all times, answer email at all hours, take phone calls off work time she might be trying to escape that. Just wondered because of the union comment.

        1. The union thing is a bit tone-deaf IMO. Like maybe there is / isn’t one for Reasons that a newcomer isn’t really honing in on. A union won’t fix that your boss is a jerk. And it won’t really help you if you are really just a disgruntled mom who now has to work b/c you are divorced, which is seems could be the case.

    5. Having a friend like this, it’s her. I’d stay out of it. You can’t change people like this. And I think this happens more in female heavy work places – IDK why but women like this are way more likely to lock horns and take offense at anything coming from a female coworker or boss but if the same direction was coming from a man, they’d deal with it/do what’s asked.

    6. I have a relative like this! Except he never took time off. He always has work conflicts that result in him leaving or getting fired. He has been in this pattern for literally decades.

      Anyway, I am a direct friend so I would just offer her advice. But I have Advice Friendships and I find that difficult people want Cheerleader Friendships so YMMV.

      2. I’ve never heard friendships presented in those terms before, but that divide between feedback vs encouragement makes a lot of sense.

    7. What field is she in, why is she overqualified based on education, and why is she going for low paying jobs? Did she work successfully before being a SAHM? Because my advice differs depending on what workplace she’s in and what her background is.

      1. Based on the female workplace where people take time off, my guess is teaching or maybe social work? Like maybe if you have graduate degrees, you are competing with 25-YO for an entry-level teaching spot. And if you haven’t commanded a room with kids in it or dealt with online learning or counseling via zoom, it is probably hard to group when younger people may be far ahead with that stuff. Probably not nursing or nursing home work, but could be going back to bedside work vs managing workers.

      2. OP — I think that friend is ideally a reading and sign language specialist at a small private montessori school where no kids have behavioral problems and all parents are kind and admins are nurturing and encouraging. IDK that a school like this exists? But she is in sort of a social / educational support role for kids who have some sort of social services involvement (and before that, a zoom teacher). I don’t understand, but I am recalling that she found teaching hard (I don’t disagree) and went back to grad school for a few years, so she may just have worked for not long before having kids. I just know the recent history, in excruciating detail.

        1. I think a lot of people who go into “helping” professions expect to have nurturing workplaces; instead, they find that working with people’s problems all day is really draining and the workplace is not what they expect. They are often better off in a normal office role where they don’t have to be emotionally “on” at work.

          Consider private tutoring or consulting, if she’s actually good with kids. She can be a sign language instructor at the collegiate level (technical schools and community colleges have classes that need teaching).

        2. if anything, I would expect parents who went to the trouble of signing their kid up for something other than public school (and are paying to get something extra nice), to be more demanding customers, not less.

    8. I always tell my complainy friends as gently as I can that employers want problem solvers, not problem identifiers. They’re not always receptive to it but it signals that I am kind of done fielding the complaints.

      I also tell my kids when things are hard “that’s why they call it work,” which is a line from a movie that totally resonated with me in my 20s.

    10. My mom was this person. She worked in a public school district and no matter what situation she went into, she always felt like she knew what the problems were and how to solve them within minutes of stepping through the door. It did not endear her to people and she got shuffled around a lot, to different programs, over the 25 years she worked for the district. She is a smart person and has a lot of energy and enthusiasm for helping kids, but she has basically zero emotional intelligence, and it’s a shame because it absolutely hampered her career. She could have been superintendent, probably, if she had learned how to get along with people. But she never learned.

      The solution in my mom’s case was that she took retirement basically the minute she was eligible and then went to work in a boutique retail store. It turns out that in short transactional relationships, like when someone goes in to buy a fancy candle for their bathroom, my mom has excellent people skills, and she was a great salesperson. She made a pretty decent amount, between her hourly wage and her commission, and the near-absentee owner of the store was pretty happy to let my mom reorganize the shelves, re-engineer the inventory system, etc. however she liked. My mom also ended up being given management control over a couple of other store employees, which was definitely a growth experience for her (and she finally understood how it feels to have an employee drive you crazy, as she had done to her managers all those years). It turns out all those tendencies that were so problematic when she worked for the school district were useful in the right context. My mom worked in the boutique for about ten years and then fully retired.

      I really, truly thought there was no work situation in which my mom could ever be successful, but lo and behold, at the end of her career she found the unicorn situation she could work in and not drive everyone around her crazy. I don’t know if there’s a situation out there like that for your friend. I do know that no amount of encouragement, coaching, feedback, blunt interventions, etc. from my mom’s friends (most of whom worked with her) or my dad (who had a very successful career of his own) helped her be successful when she was struggling through her school career. She just couldn’t hear the feedback and do anything with it. We now say that my mom should have just quit trying to use her degree and opened up a retail store of her own rather than trying to hang in working for other people in a big bureaucracy all those years. I firmly believe there are many entrepreneurs out there who are best off as entrepreneurs because they just can’t stand having anyone else tell them what to do. My mom is one of those; she just didn’t realize it in time. Maybe your friend could consider setting up her own business and offering services, vs. working for someone else?

  2. I want to love this, but I just think it is too boxy to be flattering. Love the colors though!

  4. My hair is becoming a mix of baby-fine hair and really wiry hair, seemingly at random (not a perimenopause symptom, but I’m at that age). Is there a good hair smoothing product that might help? I am at my wit’s end and just want to tie it down, but it looks rough when I do that vs sleek. Maybe I just need a headscarf to be be faux-french? Is this what Kiehl’s silk groom stuff is for? Formerly, my hair was just fine and oily, so it was just sad and limp.

    1. Someone mentioned products for “edges”, typically marketed to Black people, as a solution to a similar question (managing wiry hairs) a week ago. Possibly something to try?

  5. Yesterday’s question about unpainted toenails made me think about cultural beauty trends/must do’s and what I have decided not to do anymore. What have you decided to skip, and what’s important? Did this change during because of the pandemic?

    For me, I’ve stopped painting toenails because the chlorine at the outdoor pool eats polish. And my toes are short and stubby, and I think they look longer when they are bare. I prioritize haircuts and highlights, but have mostly given up makeup because I wear a mask all day. Waxing sounds horrifying, but I do shave underarms/legs. Always wear sunscreen, though the norm in my area is to tan as much as possible.

        1. Need toe-growth resources ASAP please! I have short stumpy toes and want to be on-trend and not have people think my toes are too short!
          (/s, obvs)

          1. Get that toe cleavage surgery. It will make the toes appear to be longer, creating a more elegant appearance.

      3. I like to put little turkey frill hats on each toe to elongate them. You know, the ones that go on the ends of turkey legs on fancy occasions?

        1. Now I want to do that. I even have the little frilly hats in the pantry from that one time I accidentally bought 100 of them to make one crown rib toast…

      4. I like my cute short toes. Long toes with obvious knuckles freak me out; they look simian.

        1. I concur. I have toes that look like baby fingers. They freak ME out if I look at them too long.

        2. See, that’s always been my thing, which is why I am so aghast. My cute short toes were one of the few body parts I have always liked!!

    2. There are no “must-dos” – everything is optional. It doesn’t matter now since I’m WFH, but when I hear that “make-up is a must” or “shaved legs are a must” or “blow-outs might not be a must but they definitely help” here, I really wonder where people are working. Pre-COVID, I commuted on public transit to a huge building in the financial district of a major U.S. city and there is a HUGEEEEEE variety in what women are actually doing and wearing. I see women carrying backpacks, wearing no make-up, wearing sloppy buns, etc. to go into professional buildings for professional jobs. I see other women who have a full face of make-up and clearly styled hair. Heels are uncommon now, but I see an enormous variety of footwear – sneakers, Rothys, Allbirds, loafers, everything. In my casual office, clothing and hair choices run the full gamut and I could never tell who had a haircut recently or not unless it was very dramatic.

      tl;dr: I think this site played a big role in convincing me that I needed to spend a lot of time and money on “musts,” but in my real life, I’ve never seen anything approaching uniformity in professional standards for women.

      1. “I think this site played a big role in convincing me that I needed to spend a lot of time and money on “musts,” but in my real life, I’ve never seen anything approaching uniformity in professional standards for women.”

        I’m a pretty unapologetically feminine woman and even I feel the same way. I never even thought about many of the beauty treatments described here (Botox, waxing, blowouts, etc.), let alone that they are somehow near “required” to be a proper professional woman. I do high-stakes litigation like many others here. I imagine it is partly because of where I live (between CA and Portland OR), but I feel like I am from another planet compared to many other posters. Take hair for an example. I work with women who dye their hair bright pink. I leave mine natural or pulled back most days because straightening it takes far too long, and I wash my hair every day due to working out/being outside in nature. Many men I work with have ponytails, manbuns, or natural hair. If I saw someone with a blowout, it would look out of place. I typically wear some makeup, but that honestly seems out of the ordinary here too.

        1. +1 I never made partner but I worked in Big Law litigation in Silicon Valley for almost a decade and I feel the same way. I got pedicures regularly but I think that has more to do with California being a sandals (almost) all year round climate. No one I worked with got regular blowouts or styled their hair for work and a lot of women (me included) didn’t wear make-up. I assume there were some women who got Botox and regular waxing and just didn’t talk about it, but I know I discussed with a lot of women how we didn’t have the time for this stuff even if we wanted it. If you’re doing all the upkeep many people here claim to do, you’re spending not only a ton of money on beauty, but also a ton of time in a salon chair. A partner once told me something along the lines of “we want you to look like sh1t, if you look like a runway model you’re not working hard enough.” I know there are studies that attractive and well-groomed people generally have more workplace success, but I feel like in Big Law there was a certain kind of honor in looking like you had just rolled out of bed, because it meant you had been working late enough the night before.

    3. I am clean, hair combed, clothes tidy and don’t stink. I do not have the time to sit in a chair and be fussed over or go through some elaborate routine in front of a mirror. I’m no beauty whether or not I spend time/money at all this.

    4. This definitely changed for me due to pandemic and just getting older / giving fewer f*cks I think.
      I refuse to wear mascara now. I actually threw it all out. No matter what, I was always a smeary mess by the end of the day and you know what? I still had stumpy short sparse lashes. Just with product on them. Buh-bye.
      On the flip side, I find that I am wearing more eyeshadow now, possibly to make up for the lack of mascara… also, I have to mask at work, and it’s the only thing I can really do that won’t be covered or messed up by the mask.
      I am still shaving – and still interested in laser or something but still havent pushed the button, first due to cost and then the pandemic. This is less of a looks thing – i mean, i expect nobody to notice the difference between shaved-me and lasered-me – but more of a time and convenience thing.
      What is starting to worry me (that’s a little strong but I am starting to think about it) is how these so called standards are being imprinted on my 10YO and how she is relating, reacting, etc. at this point I’m characterizing EVERYTHING as “lots of different people so lots of different things so pick what you are comfortable with (that we will let you do at your age). I mean, she needs to figure out how to not have stinky hair, and how to wash her face, but do I want her crying over zits like I did, or obsessing about makeup? Not really. But what if that’s her thing?

    5. I haven’t worn makeup in more than eight years, and I don’t plan to start again. Physical fitness is very important to me so I invest a lot of time in that (working out is also something I enjoy doing); I think my body looks fantastic at age 41. For my skin, I regularly use sunscreen and retinol, I avoid being in the sun, and I do an annual laser treatment on my face.

      1. What kind of laser treatment? The one that requires a lot of downtime or the halo?

    6. There’s a lot of grooming stuff that I just refuse to do – mostly when it involves spending money and/or pain. I can look groomed ‘enough’ in 10 minutes, I refuse to spend longer than that.

    7. Leaving NYC was freeing in terms of some beauty/body/fashion standards, but coming to Texas created different norms.

      The big opt-out for me is that I refuse to dye/highlight or curl my hair. It’s neat and clean, and I don’t feel like spending a couple grand a year injuring it with chemicals. Of course we’ll see how I feel when grays come in. I also don’t get manicures or pedicures (I paint them maybe once a year). I also don’t wear heels except heeled boots (which I prefer in bad weather for non-fashion reasons). I don’t wax, but do intermittently get my eyebrows threaded. I wear pretty minimal makeup (BB cream, mascara and chapstick most days).

      I have started spending a fair bit on facial care, though, and sunscreen. I’d like to spend more money on/attention to clothing, but I feel a little out of my depth.

      1. I feel like I live under a rock, but what is typical in NYC? I feel like if I ever go there for a work trip, I will be like a fish out water after 1.5 years at home in a very small town.

        1. so I’m in Philly which is one step removed, but it’s kind of the “perfectly imperfect” look. You shouldn’t look high maintenance, but you’d better be doing your nightly skincare ritual or the no-makeup makeup look doesn’t work. Your look should be nonchalant as if you just selected the first thing that came to hand in your closet but the proportions and tailoring should be exactly right, which of course is worth it because you’ve been the same in-shape size for 6 years thanks to your trainer.

        2. Yeah I’d say NYC is very sort of… structure-focused? your clothes will be impeccable, and tailored, and ironed, and they will fit your (ideally firm) body perfectly. NYC is big on perfect skin but less so on make up (compared to south or west coast). Shoes will always be nice and maintained, and purse too.

          Texas, on the other hand, is way more traditionally feminine, more makeup, lots of hair, but in my experience not picky about how flattering or tailored or classic the clothing is, or about shoes.

          1. Hahahahaha May I gently but firmly suggest you are referencing a very specific narrow subset of NY which you did not need to buy into and should maybe stop describing your own very narrow viewpoint as an NYC thing? Like. lol what even in all the insecure nonsense. NYC style is about owning your confidence. It is not about perfection and we are not all waltzing around ironing. No one has space if or time for that.

        3. I’ve lived in NYC my whole life and have been a professional here for years. None of this is true. The women who work at trendy places in soho dress up in fashion forward clothes and look great, midtown lawyers tend to be in nice suits and very groomed, downtown government is in mall store business casual. Within those ranges you have some people who pay close attention to appearance and some who do not. Most of my friends and coworkers are in the latter camp and I’ve never felt the pressure to keep up. I don’t know anyone who gets Botox and 70% of my female friends and coworkers don’t wear makeup and have very basic skin routines (wash and moisturize). I honestly read these descriptions of NYC on this site and wonder if the people writing them have ever actually lives here and met people who are from here and not just passing through.

          2. So I posted above and my experience comes from attending key strategy / negotiation meetings in NYC a few times a year, so, basically opposing counsel at NYC firms or in-house counsel at NYC-based companies. Not “what do ppl wear to run to the drugstore or walk their dog.” It’s an overall neatly / simply groomed but not fussy look; heavy makeup would look out of place.

    8. I basically stopped styling my hair. If it isn’t in a protective style like braids, it is in a ponytail or a bun.

      I have started more regularly getting manicures since the pandemic because I WFH now and have more time. I’ve also been pretty committed to bikini waxes, which i had stopped doing for years.

    9. I’m now very all or nothing with makeup. 90% of the time nothing, 10% fully done down to fake lashes.

      I do not groom my lady garden. She just flourishes like nature intended.

    10. Not having access to haircuts and waxing for several months reinforced the fact that I do these things primarily for my own comfort and satisfaction. I am actually looking in to laser hair removal now because I am certain I want that hair gone forever and don’t want to have to depend on waxing every few weeks. I never stopped painting my toenails because I don’t like looking at my bare toenails and nail polish is fun. I still wear heels because my self-image is 5’9″ but my body is only 5’6″. Etc.

      1. This perfectly states my relationship with my height, except that I am 5’3”, but 5’6” in my head. Thank you for putting words to this phenomenon.

    11. I never dye my hair and it is going gray naturally.

      I wear makeup almost daily now, after not wearing for years.

      I paint nails for fun. Maybe 50% of the time.

      I get my hair braided everyone once in a while to get a break. Otherwise, my style is very simple.

    12. I only wear makeup in very special occasions with the exception of lipstick which I add when I have a client meeting on Zoom.

      I pretty much only shave to the knee and underarm area. I might touch up bikini line if we’re going to the pool, but I might not.

      Never get manicures, but do sometimes paint my toenails.

    13. I stopped getting my nails done during the pandemic and never went back. I do my own toes in sandal weather.

      I wear tinted moisturizer with SPF and some basic eye makeup. I got my brows micro bladed (lightly, natural looking) so I can stop messing with them.

      My hair is a style that looks ok air dried. I let the highlights grow out and I’ve been using some box tint at home but not as often as the box says.

      I didn’t wear skirts or dresses this summer so I didn’t mess with self tan. I’ve really dialed it back a lot and I’m fine with it.

    14. I quit make-up when I quit my last waitressing job. I went all out with a complicated routine because it directly affected my tips, so the entire concept felt gross and tainted to me. I now am obsessed with skincare, particularly K-care, and I think I look much fresher than when I was caking layers of crap on my face.

    15. I started WFH permanently last year and stopped wearing makeup when I used to wear it daily in before times. I’ve gotten used to my face without makeup and don’t wear it that often when I go out.

      I still get pedicures in the summer because my heels need some TLC and it’s hard to do it myself. I’ve gotten some dip manicures too. Even though I’m just at home by myself, having nails painted in fun colors makes me happy.

      I still get my hair cut and colored, but I haven’t been styling it much lately. But I think that’s more so due to feeling a little depressed lately.

    16. Things I do: regular haircuts, hair styling (occaision dependdent), basic to full make-up depending on the occiasion, DIY pedicures and manicures (biweekly/weekly, respectively), wax/pluck my own eyebrows, shave underarms
      Things I will go back to doing in 2022: Botox (11s only)
      Things I do not do often: shave my legs (maybe four times this summer and maybe once after it gets cold?), color my hair (stopped a couple months ago to see what the grey situation is and am rolling with that currently)
      Things I do not do at all: wax body parts other than my eyebrows, self-tanner or any sort of tanning,

    17. I stopped wearing deodorant last year.
      And a bra.
      I think i put on bra an deodorant only a handful of times since March 2020z
      And i’ve never been able to convince myself to color my hair or otherwise cover up my grey hair. The idea of having to maintain hair colour seemed so daunting that I just never bothered.

      1. +1. If I go gray, I go gray. The upkeep and expense to keep it not gray is not worth it to me. I want to spend my weekends in the mountains, not chained to the salon chair.

        1. Or probably not. I haven’t worm deodorant in years. My body smells worse with it than without because of however my body chemicals reacts with the product and I have tried them all. Natural, Rx, commercial. It doesn’t matter, I smell rank with all of them. When I first made the switch I was very conscious of being the stinky person in the room, so I was constantly asking my friends and other people whether I smelled and also constantly smelling myself! Trust me, some of us know our bodies better than you know them, and not everyone needs to wear deodorant.

          1. This is nonsense. Every person (who has been through puberty, anyway) has BO. Deodorant masks BO. Maybe not perfectly, maybe it gives you a different smell that isn’t super great either, but I guarantee you that if you don’t wear deodorant people are smelling your BO.

          3. I feel like the aversion to BO is definitely societal. And in my experience specific to the US. I haven’t run into this in Asia or Europe. Besides with WFH and social distancing, it’s not something I chose to worry about these days.

    18. I’ve always been pretty low maintenance beauty wise. I don’t wear makeup and never have. I still wear SPF daily. I used to do regular haircuts plus pedicures during the summer months, and stopped that over the pandemic (I returned post-vax in April but then stopped again when Delta surged). I anticipate getting back to that in 2022. I still shave (not everyday though). Never done Botox and don’t own a hair dryer. My hair isn’t gray yet but I think I’ll dye it when it does get noticeably gray.

    19. Stopped: Shaving my legs. I got laser a few years ago so the remaining hair is light-colored, and I WFH and my husband doesn’t care. Never going back

      Started: wearing slightly more (still minimal makeup) since starting a new WFH job where I’m on Zoom video all day. I do feel like I’m bowing to the patriarchy, but it’s a male dominated environment and I think upping my ‘put togetherness’ (at least from the neck up) makes me feel more confident/comfortable.

    20. I’ve gone lower maintenance since the pandemic started, and I was only WFH for 6 weeks. I think the pandemic generally made me realize how much time and energy and money I was putting into my appearance, and I started doing only the things I wanted to do. I highlight my hair but asked my hair stylist to change my color so that I can go longer between appointments–I’m 37 and plan to let my hair go gray around 40. I wear my hair in a low ponytail more often than not, and I no longer straighten my hair when wearing it down. I used to wear heels everyday and now wear dressy flats 90% of the time. I didn’t wear any jewelry for about a year, and now only wear it occasionally. Same with makeup–I only wear it for special occasions, which are few and far between. I have a basic skincare routine with drugstore products. I have not had a manicure or pedicure or painted my own nails since the pandemic started. I pluck my own eyebrows, use Tinkle razors on my face, and shave my armpits and legs, but I don’t wax anything anymore. I haven’t had my eyebrows dyed since the pandemic began, but that’s one thing I’d like to start up again.

    21. Pre-Covid I worked in an office and had a lot of “must dos” including daily makeup, styled hair, finger and toe nails painted, near-daily shaving.

      Now that I’m permanently WFM, I’ve definitely reevaluated based on what actually feels good to me and how much time I want to spend. Some things really didn’t matter to me like pedicures, but some other things did. So I did laser hair removal, get my haircut every 5 weeks (it’s short so grow out fast, but styling time is near zero), do my own gel fingernail polish every 3 weeks, and color my brows.But I’ve dropped nearly all daily tasks beyond sunscreen in the am and retin-a in the evening. This leaves me feeling effortless but confident.

    22. I am in a SEUS city with pretty high maintenance standards and moderate Covid protocols.

      I have given up: heat styling my hair (it’s just a comb through wet hair, tousle, and maybe some oil or mousse) and wearing makeup and bra on errands since I am less likely to see people I know now, I am wearing a mask, and my skin is looking pretty good these days

      I continue to: pay for good haircuts and color; get monthly pedicures and brow tweezing; shave regularly; wear basic makeup to work, on video, and when socializing (pretty much the same 5-10 min inexpert routine of foundation, blush, eyeliner, brow wax, and mascara regardless of occasion, except sometimes I add lipstick for date night or a party or a Zoom when I feel washed out)

    23. I think it’s fascinating how many of us have changed our routines and habits because of the pandemic. I never thought I would not be interested in makeup, nail polish, but here I am! It would be great if societal expectations reflected this change, but I doubt it.

    24. I think it’s interesting that so many people say no one gets Botox.

      I’m in an east bay suburb of SF and I honestly feel almost everyone I know gets Botox and half the people I know have had boob jobs. Maybe I am older than you guys (I’m 48 but most friends are in 50s)

    25. Huh, I’m unapologetically high maintenance. I color my hair, get Botox, lashes, brows regularly. Shaving my legs and wearing makeup is a daily thing. I like it all. I’m a girly girl and my husband does not care if I dropped all of it tomorrow. I really just don’t relate to not wanting to do these things. I feel good when I look good.

  6. Yesterday morning’s thread reminds me (and I may post this again in a morning thread if this comes thru really late) – when you were buying a house, what did you look for in terms of safety if anything; what were absolute non negotiables from a safety perspective?

    IRL my friends/colleagues say they basically all found houses they like and gone with it and not worried about it. I’m in the DC area – interested particularly in West Falls Church though that may move down the orange line/66 corridor into Tysons/Vienna/McL. Everyone says oh the market moves so super fast that if a house is in your price range, generally what you want, you need to go with it and you don’t have time to figure out if it’s down the street from a homeless shelter or commercial strip mall. Yet I kind of thing if you’re looking in the same area, you can kind of map out where you absolutely don’t want to be, no? Those who bought in the city say if you worry about every bus stop or whatever, you’ll never buy because every block has something (though I think these are not issues for apartments as much as single family/townhouses where you are the only one coming and going).

    All I can think of re non negotiables is – don’t be RIGHT near any commercial retail businesses. When I look at the “crime maps” on Trulia even in desired walkable areas with nice restaurants/shops (like Falls Church City), it seems like you see a stream of blue anywhere with strip malls etc. And recently I’ve heard a coworker talking about how uncomfortable she is because a homeless man seems to be living in the parking lot of a bank that is across the street from her home; it’s not that the man is dangerous in any way but she feels weird that someone knows exactly when she is coming and going. So part of me thinks – be INSIDE a development, not directly the first houses closest to retail.

    FWIW no matter where I buy, I’d put in an alarm system (non negotiable – if the house doesn’t have it, I’d buy it), lights etc. I can’t have a dog but I’d put in doorbells etc. that make dog sounds though IDK what’s on the market with that. Your thoughts?

    1. I don’t own, but when I looked at our apartment complex, I was pleased to see that residents leave bikes, surfboards, and other valuables on their back patios, sometimes with flimsy locks but often not. That never happened in my old city because items would be stolen within a day. People’s comfort with leaving their garages open or stuff outside can tell you a lot about property crime in the area.

    2. When I bought my first house, I already lived in the neighborhood (half a block away). Someone had been stabbed in the street in front of my house (domestic), I knew the local drug dealers (they left me alone), and I had befriended one of the sex workers. Everything walked off porches and out of backyards. I knew the people in my area and had no concerns about my own personal safety. I still bought the house – single white lady FWIW. I had an alarm system, but I never connected it to anything because all I really cared about was that it made noise. We had a homicide around the corner a couple years before I sold my house, but it was drug related between people who didn’t live by us and when I saw the shooters, I knew they were not from my area and by how sketchy they were acting knew somehting was up, went inside and was about to call 911 when I heard the shots. Didn’t really have any other issues in the 10 years I lived there. Loved my block.

      When I bought my second house, I did absolutely no research into anything safety related because the neighborhood had the right feel for me (super quiet suburban neighbordhood). My feeling has proved to be correct as I have left my keys in the door numerous times, garage door open overnight, etc., without any issue. Still single and live alone and while I have an alarm system, it’s honestly stupid and I don’t know why I have one.

      OBVIOUSLY, my risk / safety tolerance is very different than others’ will be, but this was not something I have really stressed about in any of the place I have lived, urban or suburban.

    3. I live in a small suburb-like city with low crime. I didn’t look at a crime map and don’t know anyone who factored safety into their houses buying decision. I’m sure it’s different in major urban areas like DC. We’re in a cul de sac not the downtown area but that was not because of crime.

    4. I mean, safety isn’t the only thing people have in mind when preferring to buy the house that isn’t next to the strip mall. It’s bright, it’s noisy, there can be bad restaurant vent or trash smells, etc.

      We didn’t do any specific safety research on our (city) neighborhood but it’s a neighborhood where people tend to stay for years / decades, the ratio of rentals to rowhomes that have stayed SFH is good (vibrant mix of 20-somethings & families & couples & singles & retirees), and that we personally walked through fairly often, so we knew the vibe.

    5. I’ll be honest, I’ve never thought of any of these things before buying a home.

      1. +1 – granted I live in NYC, but this is all very exotic to me. I find population density enormously comforting. Someone would have to work a lot harder to break into my apartment than a freestanding house. There are multiple homeless people near my building at any given time. They do not give a F about what I do. There’s a family shelter in my neighborhood and that it is fine. Halfway houses and methadone clinics are potentially more of a nuisance.

        1. That’s nice but unless you are a hedge fund portfolio manager your apartment with the homeless people out front can likely fit inside the family room of a regular sized house in the rest of the country. Maybe that’s fine with you but most people don’t want to live like that nor carry home 3 bags of groceries on foot for the rest of their lives. -Former NYCer

          1. ok… so? My house is a third the size of the average SFH in the US, and you know what that means? Less to furnish & maintain and both DH and I can walk to work. Let’s not start the Burb Wars thanks.

          3. I’m not a hedge fund manager. I work for an arts nonprofit and my husband is a high school teacher, and we’re poor by the crazy standards of this board (like most people who live in NYC, outside of some parts of Manhattan). I am fully aware that housing is expensive here and I’ve made my peace with living in a small space and grocery shopping on foot, among other purported indignities. I’m 45, have a child, and this is where I want to be for a variety of reasons. My point was just that some things OP thinks are signs of danger may not be. If she has the luxury of rejecting homes on that basis, great, I did not, and it sounds like she may not really either in her market.

      2. Same. In my city, there is some property crime everywhere, so you lock your ish up. There is very, very little random violent crime. If you do drugs, be sure to pay your dealer regardless of where you live. This, plus intimate partner violence is what accounts for the vast majority of violent crime in my city, whether you’re in the fancy areas or the ‘hood.
        I didn’t look at any crime stats when I’ve bought my house. The only ones available publicly are records of police call-outs which don’t accurately correspond to actual crime in my city and don’t ever come with any context.

    6. We did look at all of these things, as well as the s*x offender registry – one neighborhood we liked had 4 just in a small radius. I agree, away from commercial, even restaurants = smells, close enough to gas and grocery but not too close, backing up to or power lines or water towers within vision. We didn’t know ahead of time, but our neighborhood I guess aged out of having many kids, so it’s mostly people 60+. Even on Nextdoor or Ring Neighbors, I am surprised how many people have captured “hoodlums” whereas one in this neighborhood would be extremely rare, and ours is not even the most $$$ in our area. I would say drive around a lot, maybe after 5 pm and on weekends. Find out about HOAs, if you can find a website for them you might find out more granular information.

    7. A few comments. Why wouldn’t you have time to check if the property is near a commercial area/homeless shelter/etc. before making an offer? That’s a simple Google maps check.

      I don’t agree that there is a problem with every city block. I guess it depends on your budget, but I’ve bought in a large and medium size city (LA and Portland OR) as well as a smaller CA city and that just isn’t the case in any of the neighborhoods I considered/bought in in those cities. And I wouldn’t live in a development because I refuse to live under an HOA.

      An alarm is a good idea. I live between two homes, so one is always unoccupied, so it is nice to know no one has broken a window or something. Also just for peace of mind. The dog doorbell thing sounds a little weird. Seems like overkill with an alarm system. We also have some simple security cameras and lights on timers, outside all the time and inside when we are not there.

      if you are truly that worried about an area, don’t buy there. I’ll also add that we rented for a long time and saved to be able to live in nicer areas, as saving money and being in an area we didn’t like much/wasn’t safe wasn’t worth it for us.

    8. Not now, but with our first house, it was a couple of blocks off a main arterial (but in a part of town that wasn’t overly busy/heavily trafficked, at that time). There were some empty lots in the neighborhood and older businesses. We didn’t think too much about what it might look like in the future as we didn’t plan to stay in the house that long.

      17 years later (waaayy past when we thought we would have left) we left because the traffic, noise, congestion, and crime just went way past the point we found tolerable. The empty lots and older businesses were built on or rebuilt and became fast-food restaurants, payday loan places, or chain retail. The grocery store went out and was replaced by a strip mall. Foot traffic through the neighborhood went way up, and crime followed. (I am the poster who posted the other day about the guy ringing our doorbell and then waiting to ambush us – that was just one example of increased foot traffic through the neighborhood contributing to a feeling we weren’t safe.) As new fast food and retail came in, car traffic followed and getting in and out of the neighborhood became a problem. The major intersection nearest our house eventually became the second-busiest in the city.

      If I had it to do over, we would have sold out and left so much earlier because we value peace and quiet, and the neighborhood just evolved to a point where there was none to be had. It wasn’t even just that we weren’t interested in what most of the neighborhood businesses had to offer; it was just the over all “busy-ness” of the whole area that wore us down. So, I would say, if you’re buying and you plan to stay someplace for awhile, think about not just what the neighborhood is like now, but think 10-15 years in the future and think about what it might be like as your city grows and demographics shift. And make sure your exit plan makes sense in that context.

      1. Foot traffic in a neighborhood usually means less crime. More eyes on the street is a good thing.

    9. I considered a lot of these things. I live in a city neighborhood with crime nearby but generally not on the immediately adjacent blocks. I considered having a wide street on several bus lines a positive, because it means there is regular traffic (and indeed, a bus driver thwarted a terrible crime 200 yds from my house shortly after I moved in). I also was happy to be near to but not directly adjacent to empty commercial property, and I remain happy with the location now that the properties contain operating businesses. I installed a full security system on day one and had both of my door jambs reinforced before I moved in. During my due diligence period, I came to the house nearly every night and at different times of day to confirm the activity. I met my new neighbors during that period, as well, but I did not interrogate them about crime or anything else.

    10. Visit at night, during the day, and on a weekend. Do you feel ok walking to take the trash out, wherever that is, etc.

  7. What order should things go in when attempting to subdivide property (for the purpose of selling an inherited piece of property for more money)? It was recommended that I start with a real estate attorney. My main point of confusion is why would I not hire a surveyor/engineer on my own to kick things off instead as they have to actually assess the property?

    2. I would start with my township, which has weird rules about how subdivisions are approved and lot sizes. Then once you know what the rules are you can get it surveyed while you wait the months it takes for you to get on their agenda.

    3. My firm does this kind of work. Clients often start with an engineer who then refers the matter to us to complete the legal process.

    4. You might have to check with the municipality first. Their Municipal Development Plan and Land Use Bylaw (and potentially Area Structure Plans / Neighbourhood Plans) might have rules for how subdivision and subsequent development are allow. In my area there are rules about lot width, lot depth, lot size, lot coverage, product type, etc.

    5. Depending on whether this is a rural property or not, you might also have to look at what servicing is on the property. For example, if the sewage is handled by a pump out system, there are specific distances from the point of discharge to the property line, which forces parcels to be a certain size. There are also considerations of access – will each of the lots have direct access to a road or will one point of access with a service road be required?

    6. Because you don’t know the laws about subdivision or what you need to ask a surveyor to do so you might just be wasting your money.

    8. Thanks all! Should have mentioned I do know the zoning and did call the county zoning office to confirm that technically the plot is sub-dividable!

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