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Sales of note for 10.10.24
- Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
- Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
- Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
- White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Anonymous
It’s a cute suit but do not wear in central/eastern Europe. Brown suits are a far right dog whistle.
Anon
Well this is new information just…how, why? Why are brown suits associated with European far right? It’s fascinating really.
Are there any other fashion items or colors that should be avoided in other regions? I’m really curious to hear.
Diana Barry
Brownshirts, I’m guessing.
Anonymous
One of the Nazi groups had brown shirts as their uniform and the usage of the brown suits by far right politicians is a reference to that.
Far right Austrian politicians sometimes where cornflowers in their labels which is another dog whistle.
Anonymous
Interesting.
I would have thought brown tweedy suits as the sort of thing that Lady Mary would wear for foxhunting. Tally ho!
Wanderlust
Brown suits seem very “Aunt Lydia” to me.
Tazdevil
Good to know – I had no idea!
Flats Only
Interesting. Brown suits always remind me of Congressman Dan Rostenkowski. Big guy, always seemed to have a brown suit.
anon
Fwiw, I am from Germany and just googled this in German and including the keyword Austria to make sure, and I don’t think this is a thing there. I have certainly never heard of it and I do know a thing or two about Nazi symbols, popular fashion brands and so on. Can’t speak for eastern Europe though.
Anonymous
I posted it because my husband is Austrian so it’s for sure a thing there. Will try to find a link later.
The Good Wife
I’m also in eastern Europe and this is not a thing in the country where I live…
Annony
My dad had a little too much to drink one night at dinner and told my boyfriend (whom he was meeting for the first time) that one shouldn’t wear brown suits as people will think you are Jewish. We were all like, “WTF?!?” and he said, “I didn’t say that! It’s in the Dress for Success book!” So I don’t know if it’s actually true, as in, that piece of advice was in the edition of the book that my dad probably read circa 1968 or something but that is what I think of when I see a brown suit. I love this suit! Also yes, that boyfriend happened to be Jewish guy, last name Levy.
Ellen
This must be a joke, b/c I know and work with plenty of Jewish attorney’s at law (and judges), and I do not even see one of them wearing a BROWN suit. Dad says President Reagan wore brown suits all the time and Dad says he was not Jewish, so that proves this is errorenous. Morover, if Brown suits and shirts were worn by Nazi’s (and I dont know if they did), I think Jews would not want to be associated with Brown suits and shirts, b/c then people might think they were also Nazi’s! FOOEY!
Velma
WTF is right!
But I think the Dress for Success book recommended against brown suits (in the 1970s, when they were actually common). Based on surveys, the author suggested that the majority of business people at the time didn’t view brown as a power color–gray and navy were best. This is still standard advice for interview suits, for what it’s worth … maybe not much in terms of the author’s survey methodology.
BeenThatGuy
To me, his suit screams UPS Executive. I imagine if Michael Scott worked for UPS instead of Dunder Mifflin, this would be his uniform.
cHam
I got an email this am from Rakuten (formerly eBates) the Mme LaFleur has 15% cashback today only.
Triangle Pose
Thanks, bought my favorite jardigan and the skirt to match (how pretty is regency blue!)….and then the matching skirts for the jardigans I already have. I guess I’m all set for conference season! Also that $50 off code from today (yesterday?) someone posted worked for me.
Anon
Can you post the $50 off code? I can’t seem to find it.
Triangle Pose
Sorry it was on FB group not here it’s LATEREVERAFTER50. Also someone from FB group said Amex has a $50 offer for MM La Fleur too.
Anon
It worked! Thank you!
Is it Friday yet?
There’s a FB group?
Triangle Pose
There’s a mm lafleur buy sell trade fb group. Its a mix of actually bst and people posting pics of themselves in the clothes to solicit opinions on fit sizing. I’ve never bought or sold anything and have no interest in the pics but it’s good for things like the discount code!
Anon
I love this suit but I wouldn’t be able to pull it off (the color is roughly the same shade as my skin and I’d look naked lol). Someone want to get it so I can live vicariously?
RNMP
Couldn’t help but think: “nude-to-you “ suit !
Anon
LOL!
First date outfit advice
Help! I posted about my recent divorce a while back and now I have a date for this weekend. It feels soon, but we started talking on the train and he was cute and easy to talk to, so I decided to go with it and see how it goes. I have no idea what to wear! We are getting drinks at a bar that has salsa on Fridays, so perhaps dancing will be involved. I haven’t dated in ten years, so all advice about dating these days in your 30s welcome. What would you wear on a first date? Also, should I offer to pay for drinks?
Anonymous
Jeans and a cute top, offer to pay but let him if he wants, have fun!
Anon
1) If you know how to salsa, I’d wear dark wash jeans, a cute casual top (if that’s your style – a conservative clubbing top also works) with very comfy heels. Salsa dancing in flats is difficult and you don’t want a dress flying about with the spins.
2) If he asked you out, don’t offer to pay for drinks. If you asked him out, offer, with a true intention of paying for them, but don’t be insistent if he takes the check from you – no matter how “I am woman hear me roar” you are it is a cultural norm (at least in the States, you didn’t indicate a country) for men to pay on the first date so if you try to haggle over paying the bill it will seem more like a power struggle than you trying to be nice or egalitarian.
knyc
I find it easier to dress for work than for a date so if i met someone on a Friday I usually pretend that i’m coming straight even if i’m not. I prefer a skirt or dress for dancing. Only offer to pay if it won’t annoy you if he accepts, otherwise just let him. Have fun! And from one divorcee to another, it’s like riding a bike. It will come back to you!
Anon
If there’s a possibility of salsa dancing, definitely wear pants! A pencil skirt or sheath dress will be too confining, and a more A-line dress or skirt may fly up when you spin around. Jeans and a cute top sounds good to me. I’m impressed you met a man in the wild! I feel like it’s all online now.
First date outfit advice
Thanks! I was looking into dating apps and kind of depressed by that, so I was pleasantly surprised when this happened IRL. He seemed nice but of course I hope things turn out well and he doesn’t professionally pick up women on trains.
Anon
If you’re by chance not in the US but in Scandinavia:
Yes, of course you’ll offer to pay for drinks, or food, or whatever. You’ll not only offer, but pay your way. Going dutch (not necessarily halves, but every second thing e.g.) is very much normal – unless you specifically go for very, very conservative and/or older (and conservative) guys.
Anon
Honestly, I don’t think it’s a universal rule in the US that the man (or the person who did the inviting) always pays. It probably depends on where in the US you are, and what cultural circles you run in. I met my now-husband a decade ago now but we went dutch from the beginning. He turned out to be a huge feminist and is now an incredibly equal partner in parenting and life. Some of my friends who made snide cracks about him not paying for our first date are now very frustrated by husbands who won’t lift a finger around the house ;) Equality is a good thing, imo.
Worry about yourself
My boyfriend and I have split the check at just about every bar and restaurant since the beginning. And before him, I’ve gone on every first date fully expecting to pay my half of the bill, but also figuring that if he invited me and picked the restaurant, there’s a good chance he’ll pick up the tab, which is also fine, but I might want to even things out by paying for the second portion if there is one.
Anon
I would do that too in the US. Going dutch is also very normal here.
Anon
US here, dated a lot before meeting my husband (online). I absolutely insisted on paying half. Absolutely. It surprised a few guys, turned off a couple, but most were pleasantly surprised.
JS
I have a question about aging parents and have seen good advice here in the past. How much of a benefit is a retirement living community as opposed to moving said parents to a small, completely one level rancher and hiring lawn and cleaning services. Concerns are lack of mobility and falls at current multilevel large home.
Anonymous
For me the big advantage was socialization and me not being in charge. I don’t want to supervise the lawn care. In their 55+ community all that is taken care of plus they have friends.
Anon
A retirement living community may have on site or on call health services that could be helpful in case of things like falls, and are usually built to accommodate people with mobility issues (walk in showers, wide doorways, prominent ramp options), and there is a built in community to do age appropriate things with. 55+ really isn’t old so I think a 55+ community with a fairly healthy population would be great – sometimes I’ve looked into 55+ communities that really are more like retirement homes with kitchenettes and it was very off putting.
m
It depends. Are you looking at an independent living unit of an assisted living facility? The pros are that they would have access to social events, dining, living spaces that are designed for seniors and their needs, and you could easily move them to a higher level of care if they needed it. The cons are that it’s expensive and it can be a hard sell to independent adults.
A single level home with some outsourcing would be cheaper and you’d have more options to keep them in their current community. You will have to make modifications to reduce fall risk (grab bars, no throw rugs, attention to doorway transitions, etc). I’d also think about whether someone is available locally to assist them with whatever they may need. My MIL lives close to us in an apartment and it mostly works ok. We are close enough to help with shopping, doctors appts and that sort of thing (she’s not driving much). She’s got a cleaning service and is comfortable calling maintenance to fix things. But, even in first floor apartment, she still fell and broke a hip so it’s not perfect. We did opt for renting over buying so that we would have flexibility in case she needs to move to facility based care.
JS
Independent living. Yes another concern is that I just have no idea how quickly they could degrade – but I guess does anyone really know?
aBr
I’d also consider the sense of community and risk of isolation. Now, with an overly long and rambling post, one of my grandma’s lived independently well into her 90s. She lived in downtown small town (think the cutesy old houses right off main street in any old town) where she was within walking distance of the hospital and her doctor, and a short taxi ride from most other things. She was content to putter in her garden and interact with her neighbors. We put supports in place to check on her a few times a week but she was otherwise stable. The key here was she was not isolated and able without a car to still have a fairly good social life. My other grandma moved closer to one of her children and away from her friends. Without a car she led a fairly solitary existence (e.g., only going out for groceries) and struggled to make friends. She moved to an assisted living facility and the constant interaction with other people has been good for her. This is all the long way of saying don’t discount the community aspect of the retirement community. Other benefits also include that, depending on the facility, they could take some of the load off you with everyone gets a flu shot at once or other medical providers that make “community” visits.
anon
In terms of falls, I think there are two or three issues: prevention, immediate what-if, and moderate to long term what-if.
Prevention in a retirement community should be pretty good, if it’s well designed & maintained. A single-story house could be anywhere from equally good to terrible depending on the floor coverings, the porch, your parents shoe collection…
Immediately after a fall, who will be there to find them if they are inconcious? Or pick them up if they break bones? You say parents, plural, but my freind is making arrangements now because he knows his mom couldn’t lift his dad. That would be in favor of organizationed care, but retirement home staff might not really be that much of a presence, it varies a lot.
And if they do fall, or their independence declines in other ways, you may end up needing to move them again. Would they be happier (and you ultimately less stressed) if it were one move into a place where they’ll be able to stay longer? Will it be easier to downsize to apartment or studio style living now? Or is this just going to play out where at some point a houseful of possessions lands on you-that’s really common (sorry) so it might not be worth huge futile sacrifices to avoid..
Skipper
Does the retirement community also have an assisted living option? I think that the option to transition into a level of care while maintaining your social ties and routine is a huge, huge benefit. Otherwise, I’d just echo what others have said about cost considerations versus administrative work, remodeling, etc.
Anon
COST. People here talk about independent living at assisted living facilities like the financials are NBD, but they’re not. My grandmother’s is $4,650 per month. Yes, it includes laundry and meals, but when a single level rancher is, say, $1,500 a month, it’s a no brainer to bring in whatever services you need for as long as you can. We are very concerned that my wonderful grandmother will outlive her savings…because when you start paying $4,650/month earlier in life than you need it, it’s not like you can step down to a $1,500 SFH at age 97 or whatever.
Anon
Wow, that’s really expensive. Average in our area is about $2,300 for independent (apartment/condo) living in a retirement home, which is about what renting a modest single family home would cost here. With meals and all the included services the costs are at most a few hundred dollars a month more than renting a similarly-sized apartment
anon
I posted a long comment above about logistics, but the biggest deciding factor is, what do your parents want? Even if you are bankrolling, you can’t MAKE them do anything. DH is talking about moving FIL out here to us (vs us moving to the ILs), and I got him laughing with a spot on impression of FIL’s distinctive catch-phrase: NO NO NO!
Anon
You can make your financial support conditional on them doing what you want.
Anon
What makes you think the OP supports her parents? Maybe they have their own money.
Additionally, how many younger people resent parents for pushing them into inappropriate careers by making financial help/tuition conditional on what they want? These are your parents. For parents (not supported by me), moving to a retirement community would be a death sentence due to the unhappiness it would produce. Even if you want your parents to do something and are in a position to force them, if you have a good relationship, why would you not take their desires into account as much as is feasible?
Lobbyist
My mom was reluctant at first (because everyone there is old!) but loved her retirement community. Now about to move to assisted living right across the way. I am grateful for the structure and support, even though I wish the management and employees were better. I am 2 hours plus away and the closest of my siblings, there is no way we could do it otherwise.
EBTH vs Got Junk
My aging parents (one is a book and tool and lawn tractor hoarder) have a 2 story house with a full basement, an attic, a stuffed 2-car garage with attic, and an outbuilding for all sorts of gentleman’s farmette John Deere morotized vehicles. I know the local Tractor Supply dealership head, who takes consignments of used John Deere things.
For the rest, when it is time to empty out the house, who should I call? I live 12 hours away by and have school-aged kids and work FT, so will really need to do a quick purge after picking through the things that my sibling (Army, not able to really help) and I might save for sentimental reasons.
One parent just hit 80 and has beat cancer once, but I am appreciating how these things can turn quickly after a fall, pneumonia, etc. They show no signs of downsizing on their own and I don’t think that lighting a match and doing a Viking funeral with all of the stuff will be well received by the local fire marshall.
Anonymous
ask the realtor for a recommendation they often know the local people good at this. And if not 1800gotjunk
Flats Only
If you warn the fire chief ahead of time they’ll be happy to use it as a training opportunity and be standing by with their trucks. For the less extreme option, an estate sale company can help weed out the good stuff that’s worth selling, and coordinate haul away of the rest as trash or donation. If they have tons of interesting antique collectible see if you can get on American Pickers.
Anonymous
Some auction companies do household contents auctions. You remove what you want to keep and they host an auction at the house to sell off the rest.
Vicky Austin
Try searching “senior relocation services” in their area. Even if your folks never relocate to assisted living (which I think is usually what these companies do), someone there might be able to help you find the right service or perhaps offer an employee who needs extra work. My aunt works for a company like this and has been trained to quickly go through large inventories of personal belongings with sensitivity (a feat!).
Skipper
I think an important consideration is what you mean by “when it comes time to empty the house.” If we’re talking about your parents’ death, you should be able to find an auction house locally to do an estate sale pretty easily.
If we’re talking about your parents’ move to assisted living, I think you have to let them have some real agency in this. The first step is to talk to them. Maybe make plans to do so over Thanksgiving? If you have a good relationship with them, it may work well to cast this kind of planning as a kindness to you and your sibling/s:”it would mean so much to me to know that we’re handling this the way you want this handled when the time comes” etc. They may resist. This is just… normal. Things like tools and books can be real stand-ins for the way people feel about their declining capability: “I need nine hammers because I need to feel like I am still capable of building and repairing things.” But you can be kind in the face of that and still persistent. You may also want to reach out to a geriatric social worker, area agency on aging, etc. for help. I think a professional organizer can help pare things down and make them accessible, if this is something they’re willing to explore.
Anon
Why not just do an estate sale? You and your siblings go through and get out everything you want, then hire an estate sale company to come in and do a sale over a weekend. They generally start it on Friday and whatever’s left on Sunday goes for half off and whatever’s left by Sunday afternoon just goes to Goodwill or what have you. They take a percentage of what’s sold, but you don’t have to lift a finger.
Anonymous
If you can afford to just let it sit until you have time to deal with it, that is also an option that can be sanity-saving. It can also give you time to change your mind and process, which can be valuable if you are talking about clean up right after death.
My FIL has been in assisted living for several years now and his house is slowing returning to the earth with most of his possessions inside. We live on the other side of the country, it isn’t worth anything and he hasn’t fully accepted he’s never going back, so procrastination is our coping strategy. My husband has cleaned out some family photos and other mementos, and eventually had it boarded up due to some break ins. It is 1000% not ideal, but the best we can manage.
Anony
I’m not sure if you have nieces/nephews; you did mention a sibling and your children… depending on how old they are, please consider involving them. My grandmother passed years ago, my grandfather only 2 years ago (for context, I’m 36, my sister is 33). My aunts and uncles totally cleaned out the house and sold the lot to an estate sale without asking me and my sister if we wanted to be involved or if we even wanted anything. It was absolutely heartbreaking to not be involved. My grandparents lived next door to my parents and I pretty much grew up there. Everything about it was horrible; they iced my parents out and proceeded to create a giant legal battle over inheritances, etc. Luckily, my sister and I were able to sneak over one day and grab a few things. This was over 2 years ago and it breaks my heart still (not to mention my father’s siblings no longer will speak to anyone of us). If there have any relatives that might be interested in your parent’s ‘stuff’, please ask them if they want to be involved.
Anon
My cat is driving me nuts. He is constantly meowing, especially in the 11pm-7am area when I’m trying to sleep. It’s not a “something is wrong” meow or a “I’m hungry” meow…it’s just annoying sometimes-chirpy, sometimes-desperate meowing. I feed him before I go to bed, he isn’t interested in playing ever, and I have another cat who is basically silent so it’s not that there is a strange cat outside prowling or something.
I initially thought it was a medical issue so I had everything checked and tested and looked at and he’s in great health.
Am I missing something?? Is my cat just a jerk?
Skipper
Cats are semi-nocturnal, so it’s possible that your cat isn’t interested in play except for when you’d rather be asleep. Have you tried providing him with toys that can keep him entertained while you’re sleeping?
Anonymous
+1
Anon
Maybe you aren’t providing the right toys. Try a bunch of different stuff and see if you can tire him out before bedtime. My cat does what we call “tones” at night (seriously the weirdest tonal meowing), but it’s gotten a lot better over time. Now she only does them if we leave her toys out overnight – she brings them to us and starts doing the tones. Therefore, my advice is to tire him out before bed, but then put the toys away.
Sparky
+100. Cats need attention and to let off steam so play with it before bedtime, postponing dinner means greater chances of a full tummy and sleepy kitty.
Anon
I mean let’s be honest. The default for cat is asshole.
Anon
(Ps before anyone gets offended, I say this as a cat lover and guardian of two very spoiled assholes)
Worry about yourself
Yes, I love cats to pieces but they are fuzzy, snuggly little jerkbutts.
Anon Lawyer
Probably just a jerk. I’m pregnant now and every time I get up to pee (a million times a night), the cat is like “Great! You’re up! You can pet me forever now!” The dog meanwhile is like “why are you disturbing my beauty sleep.” I honestly think it’s fair to shut cats out of your room when they’re driving you nuts.
Anonymous
1. Are you shutting kitty out of your bedroom? My cat will lose his damn mind if I close the bedroom door (or, um, any door in the house; sorry bout that, guests who expect bathroom privacy, kitty will open the door to visit you). He likes to check on me periodically but generally goes about his kitty ways. Sometimes he comes to bed to snuggle or just kinda watch me from the foot of the bed (it’s not as creepy as it sounds).
2. Does kitty have enough water at night? Mine prefers running water, so I got him a little cat fountain and that seems to limit the rowring.
3. Any litter box issues?
Cat OP
OP here. We have a thousand toys (wands, balls, stuffed animals, catnip, etc) and he isn’t interested in any of them. I definitely don’t close him out of my room because the meowing gets worse and loud enough to hear through the door and with headphones on. He has full access to food/water/litter box/toys all night (I live in a 1br so all doors are open all the time). He’ll sometimes settle down with me and sleep with me for ~an hour and then he’s up meowing again for hours. Very occasionally the two cats will chase/play with each other at night which is fine.
I timed him this morning and he meowed for two hours straight. I’m losing my damn mind because I can’t get a full night of sleep.
Maybe it’s neurological???
CountC
One of my dogs started doing this all night long. Based on my observations, I thought it was anxiety so I started her on CBD. Going on three silent nights!
Anonymous
Two hours is crazy, especially when it wasn’t always that way. I’d circle back with the vet. Is the cat eating normally and going to the bathroom normally? (No sore tooth or vision problem or sore tummy…?) If it’s dementia or anxiety they can also prescribe something to help.
Anon
If a cat has disrupted my sleep, I have sometimes had success with “revenge.” If I can manage to bug the cat all day to the point that he can’t sleep when I’m awake, he will sleep when I’m asleep.
Cats are aren’t actually nocturnal (they’re crepuscular), so it’s a little weird for him to be meowing in the dead of the night, but if his blood sugar is fine, maybe he just wants something!
Anononon
I’m thinking of going to the Sundance festival this year and have never been before. Advice for first timers? Where to stay/best ticket or pass package to buy/whether winging it works or if I need to get tickets to everything in advance, etc. It overlaps with a milestone birthday for me, so I would be willing to splurge on one of the more expensive pass packages if it were worth it. I know most celebrities go the first week and I don’t really care about that, but would go the first week if that’s when all the really good movies will play. Would be going with my husband, so we’d need 2 credentials, 2 tickets to most movies, etc.
Anonymous
I am really happy to see brown this year. And I might already have a stash of tops and shoes in the blush to apricot to rust range on the color wheel….