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Suit of the Week: COS

black corduroy double-breasted suit

For busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional.

Look at me, not picking the crazy bright color for once. (This suit also comes in a hot pink, and there's a blazer in a very bright blue/purple.)

But it's an interesting/fun suit even in the black — it's unusual to see a corduroy suit for women, and the proportions (double-breasted and wide-leg) are very modern.

The blazer is $225, and the pants are $125; it's available in sizes 2-14.

Hunting for something similar in plus sizes? There are a TON of corduroy suits out right now (I honestly can't remember ever seeing this many!) — but only a few still in stock in plus sizes. Here's a peach one from Eloquii and a light blue one from ASOS Curve. Eloquii also has a double-breasted blazer in red with flared trousers.

I'll round up some of the other corduroy suits out there in the widget below the disclosure…

Psst: Aaaah! Found the matching blue pants (for the COS corduroy suit) but can't figure out how to link to the set.

This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

Sales of note for 12.5

219 Comments

  1. Hi there! I have adopted a family from a local non-profit for Christmas, and I just got their wishlists. I don’t have kids, so I’m wondering about a couple of items they listed.

    There’s a 6-year-old boy who likes Fortnite and SpongeBob and has asked for an “action figure” and a 7-year-old boy who loves to read and has asked for some games. Any thoughts on those two items? I’ve got a plan for everything else, but I’m not sure what the cool action figures and games are to that age group!

    Thanks :)

    1. UNO and Mexican train are classic games that works for several age ranges. Blokus could work, too.
      Ticket to ride is maybe too advanced, but could be fun for the reader to figure out and read cards and rules. Maybe that one and one of the others?

      There are Fortnite action figure sets, so that might be what the 6YO wants. I would probably get the helicopter set, but the others look cool, too.

    2. There are fortnite figurine type sets you can buy at Gamestop/Target, I’d search there. Games my boy liked at that age were ticket to ride jr, Klask, a physical pinball machine (mechanical not electronic), or you could go with a card game and a bookstore gift card?

    3. Not games, but: Dogman books for the reader. I read them after my similar-aged kid was done and they are hilarious. UNO is a game that the two kids could probably play together without any grown-up help; those games are the best in my book.

    4. I have a 7 year old. His favorite games are Ticket to Ride Jr., Uno, and Sleeping Queens. Santa is bringing Blokus this year. I’m also a huge fan of cooperative games, and he is getting Mole Rats in Space from a relative for Christmas.

    6. Uno and Uno All Wilds are great for those ages and the kids can play together.

      +1 to Dogman. Also James Patterson’s Dog Diaries is currently a big hit with my 7YO.
      The first Harry Potter book might be a little advanced, but could also be good.

      7YO who loves to read (and presumably has a 6YO brother) might also appreciate a puzzle or something that he does WITHOUT little brother :-)

    7. For the 7yo who loves to read: Geronimo Stilton books!

      Source: Mom of 7yo who loves to read, school library has shorter return time on Geronimo Stilton since it is SO much in demand. My 11yo will sometimes grab these books to read too.

  2. Can anyone in the greater Seattle area recommend any brick and mortar store where I can get my daughter a suit or even a blazer? My daughter is a freshman in high school and just joined the speech and debate team. She has a tournament coming up so I need to take her somewhere to get appropriate clothes by this weekend(!) I don’t wear suits for work and have no idea where I can find something that’s not trendy/casual clothing…

    1. Any store is going to have a blazer. I’d try Target, Macy’s, H&M, Banana Republic first.

      1. Yup. Old Navy possibly, too, although their blazers sometimes read like sweatshirt fabric to me.

    3. Ann Taylor reliably has full suits and blazers in the stores. It’s not fashion, but it would suffice.

      1. This makes sense. You don’t want to buy her a full, expensive attorney suit just for debate. I’d go H&M for sure (or even a thrift store)

    7. Kohl’s, Forever 21, even Target or walmart will likely have something sufficient for that! If you’re not in a trendy or HCOL area, kids won’t be expected to have namebrand or tailored items, especially if she is still growing!

    8. Oh man, back in the day this was a problem to be solved by JC Penney!

      I haven’t been in NY and Company in years, but this might be in their wheelhouse too? It could also be worth hitting the outlets for a wide variety of options.

      2. I wouldn’t buy anything online from NY & co, the quality is really hit or miss. I got some pants there last year that I love (wearing them today) so I ordered a couple more pair in different colors… even though they were the same size some were too big and some were too small; the fabric was supposed to be the same but it felt different; hems were unraveling etc.

      3. Used to be that everything could be solved my JCP! When my dad suddenly died up north, I got my mentally ill brother and 8-year-old son funeral clothes, black sneakers, gloves, scarves and HAIR CUTS in one fell swoop! All we needed before we got on the plane. I remember reading the catalog on the phone with my mom, picking out house decorations after buying my first home. Miss it!

    9. For something like this I’d start at Ross/TJMaxx since suiting will not be cool/a thing you’d want to invest much in, and she’ll outgrow it before she’d need an interview suit after college. If you strike out there, Macys or a similar dept store.

    10. My daughter is a senior who does debate. We have purchased her suits at BR Factory, Express, and J Crew Factory.

    11. Late to this but I’d post her size on a buy nothing group. I bet someone who hasn’t cleaned out their pre-covid closet has something.

  3. I am one of those women who always wears black, and if I want to branch out, I wear grey (my life motto is basically that quote, “I’ll stop wearing black when they invent a darker color”). Well I’m really trying to force myself out of my comfort zone, and I just bought a lovely plum Calvin Klein sheath, but I don’t know what color blazer or shoes to wear with it. Help!

    1. I actually think gray is lovely with plum. Also camel. Tone-on-tone with a coordinating plum/purple. Maybe navy, which is a neutral in my world. Or, you know, black.

    2. Plum is surprisingly neutral. I’d try on and see, but black, gray, navy, and camel all pair nicely IMHO!

    4. I think I have this exact same sheath! Still hanging in my closet with the tags on as I am still trying to decide what to wear it with. Most likely I’ll try black at least the first time around!

      Signed,
      Another person who always wears black!

    5. I’ve been weaning myself off black for several years. My neutrals are now navy and gray. I’d wear either of those with plum. I’d probably look for something tweedy, like a Chanel jacket, that has a tiny bit of plum but is mostly a neutral.

    6. Plum is just dilute black. I’d take a look at your blacks and look for obvious contrast- i.e. a different texture or sheen so it’s obvious you weren’t trying to match in the dark and call it a day.

  4. Any suggestions for a small pick-me-up gift for a stressed out high school girl? Mine is experiencing the confluence of several large projects all coming to a head at once and while handling it admirably, she is stretched thin right now. I’m thinking something small I could pick up on my way home, around twenty bucks, preferably not food or cosmetics. TIA!

    1. Hm, would you count a face mask as cosmetics? Cute socks? Scented candle? Bubble bath?

    2. Would she like a really nice smelling candle to burn or cozy blanket to snuggle under while she is working on her projects? A comfy sweatshirt from Target or Walmart?

    3. This is very sweet and I do have ideas. My kids are a little young but my BFF’s daughters are older teens and would love surprise fancy pens, giant sweatshirt or hoodie for upcoming cozy season, a candle, or fuzzy socks.

    4. Is she a reader? Could you stop somewhere and get her a book that’s been on her TBR list that she can escape to for a bit?

    5. Cosy fleece onesie or a blanket? A dvd set with a tv-series you could watch together (from the library, if you want)?
      A craft project, if she likes those, or a really nice notebook and fine tip pens.

    7. Aw thats very sweet.

      If nail polish or a facemask dont count as cosmetics, those are a good idea!

      A cute mug or cozy pair of slippers? Pair of earrings? Candle? A craft if she’s into that?

    8. If there’s a Lush store near you, a bath bomb or two would be a nice gift. Otherwise, some fancy hand lotion plus a nice smelling candle or those aromatherapy wicks would be nice.

    10. Lulu headband, sweatshirt, mug, waterbottle.

      If she’s got a lot on her plate, a book she doesn’t have time to read or nails she doesn’t help time to do won’t help much!

  5. Teambuilding help? I have 100/person to spend on teambuilding for my team in Boston. Under 20 people, mostly attorneys, can’t spend it on alcohol. I feel like everything I am finding through google seems corny. Lots of people with young kids, and its a new team but everyone gets along well (although we have done almost no out of work socializing)

      1. +1 – a duckboat tour followed by a meal sounds fun. I would also be super into a guided tour of a museum (Museum of Science might even have hands on activities you could all do).

    3. In person? My firm recently held a happy hour from 2-5pm on a weekday at a restaurant, including a large buffet. I got to know many of my coworkers for the first time on a personal level. We were all able to go get our kids at a normal time.

      1. This. No one will go if it is outside work hours or going to negatively impact their work (take away from their billables). Team building in general is kind of a joke these days IMO. If anything, a nice lunch/ happy hour as stated above.

    4. Candlepin bowling! The Flatbread Company in Somerville works well because you can also get food.

  6. My sibling is an electrical engineer and a Republican. He has an office job at a very large energy company and from what I understand, specializes in arc flash and load flow analysis. The energy company supports power plants that are generated by coal.

    His rhetoric around elections is always that Democrats are out to take his job because they don’t understand how energy works. When Biden was elected, he acted like his world was about to end and that he was going to lose his job. He also communicates this rhetoric to our parents, who are lifelong conservatives. I’m close with his wife, but sometimes she makes comments about this that make me want to roll my eyes. Like last night, I said I was excitedly watching election coverage (I’m a politics dork and always excited to watch), and she said “well with the energy stuff, hopefully X will still have a job next year.” I’ll add that they are extremely well off and don’t have any dependents.

    I’m honestly confused. I don’t know a lot about electrical engineering, but is it not a wide enough field that you don’t HAVE to be working with fossil fuels? I’m sick of his complaining and acting like his world will end if the evil Democrats get their way. But maybe I’m not being sympathetic because I don’t understand something.

    1. No, electrical engineers don’t have to work with fossil fuels. He doesn’t even have to work with fossil fuels if he continues working for an energy company.

      Signed, works for an energy company that is moving away from fossil fuels

      1. My BIL is an electrical engineer who has spent his entire career working on sustainable energy projects, primarily windmills and smart grids.

    2. I work in climate finance; I have an uncle who has worked in oil and gas, primarily exploration, for the last 40+ years. He openly tells me he’s sorry his generation is leaving the climate in such a bad state for mine.
      Retraining for people currently in fossil fuel jobs is absolutely part of the Just Tr nsition – but there is so much demand for skilled people in renewables jobs that, AFAIK, everyone who wants to move over is able to.

    3. My sense is that coal-fired power plants aren’t going away any time soon. And that people don’t get that the electricity for all those charging stations for electric cars comes likely comes from coal-fired power plants.

      IDK about the rest, but when people go plug-in electric, coal becomes more and more needed.

      1. that’s straight up false… nuclear and gas are both frequently cheaper and more reliable than coal. yes, even with the increase in natural gas prices! also, electric charging should just match when we have the most available energy for most of the grid. that means midday in places with a lot of solar and at night in places without. you dont even have to really manage this as most EVs have smart scheduled charging. signed, has worked at a utility doing grid planning for 12 years

        1. That… depends very much on how you count the cost. I mean, regulatory compliance is a HUGE cost with nuclear energy although, obviously, doesn’t actually generate any electricity.

    4. Does he perhaps just like this specific job and worries that the eradication of coal as an energy source will mean their client base will dry up?

    5. It’s BS. I went to a tech school so I know tons of electrical engineers. None of them work with fossil fuels.

        1. Electrical engineers can work on design of any electrical stuff. I would say that generally, they would be divided into 3 categories (1) people who work on very low power stuff like devices, equipment, cars, etc., (2) somewhat higher power so for homes, buildings, etc and (3) those who work on the actual power infrastructure, things that are owned and operated by utilities (power lines and power plant).

        3. My ex is an EE. He worked on GPS type tech. All the location stuff on your iphone, for example.

          2. Electrical engineering is the design and manufacturing of any electrical equipment – so anything to do with the hardware of phones, computers, cars, etc. Though stuff like GPS might be more software engineering, there’s heavy overlap and many electrical engineers do a lot of work with software. TBH I don’t know any electrical engineers who deal with big electrical systems, like power grids, although I understand that some of them must. Everyone I know works on phone, computer/networking, or car technology.

    6. Not an electrical engineer, but a huge part of the shift to renewables will involve managing loads from different types of power sources that vary throughout the day and dealing with new electrical infrastructure. I get that the jobs will be somewhat different from what he’s doing right now, but it seems like a big stretch to think that he won’t be incredibly employable if he wants to be. There will certainly be a huge need for electrical engineers in general, just maybe not ones that do exactly what he does now? Electric companies are definitely not going away, if that’s who he works for. They will likely end up employing even more people!

      1. This. There’s going to be a huge demand – he may need to update his skills, but I’d just say to him (and SIL), good thing that people will always need electricity in one form or another, that’s some great job security you have. They aren’t seeing the forest for the trees.

    7. I think Democrats are the best thing for him because they provided so much funding to build more energy infrastructure. I work for a large engineering firm (10,000 worldwide with most in the U.S.). We have build coal plants and natural gas plant for 100+ years and we are super excited about our future. There is so much money and support to build more thing that we are guaranteed growth for decades. Electrification of transportation and household uses (natural gas) by itself means that the energy sector will grow. Your sibling sounds like an idiot.

    8. I used to hear this working for a defense contractor, but I honestly haven’t heard it since Obama was president. I guess because we all still had jobs. I bet he’s echoing grumbling that he hears at work. Realistically if coal goes away there has to be something to replace it.

    9. I have several EE friends who work on defense contracts and communications technology

    10. I have a comment stuck in moderation but I work for a very large company, leader in the power industry that has built power plants for 100+ years so including coal and natural gas. Now we do solar, wind and other renewable energy. We can’t find enough people that can do what your brother can do. Unless he only wants to work on coal, he should have unlimited opportunities in the future thanks to all the policies and funding provided by democrats.

    11. My husband is an electrical engineer and works on infrastructure design for government bodies as well as commercial building design. My brother is an electrician for a solar power company. These fields require working with fossil fuels.

    12. He sounds like a complete @$$.
      I hope you start to actively ignore or shut him down him every time he starts whinging about this. Do not feed the moaning men.
      Signed,
      A mechanical engineer

    13. Your sibling could very easily find an ethical job, they just dont want to, signed someone who works on green energy.

    14. Our local university has a well regarded engineering school and the electrical side focuses on hydroelectricity and wind. Tons of work in both industries.

      He’s in coal (which is dirty than oil and gas) because he doesn’t want to change jobs. There are tons of jobs available .

      2. Disses other people’s writing. Types “dolma’s” for, I’m guessing “people’s”. Classic

          1. Nothing. I’m referring to Anon at 4:57 who apparently doesn’t like how people write here.

  7. My teen daughter has some cognitive issues where we will likely need to establish a special needs trust for her. She is able to go to school and we feel that she may hold a job as an adult, but for various reasons, do not feel that we should have her own anything outright in her name (including via inheritance). Right now, she is 14. In our state (NC), many doctors offices now make 14YOs medical records private and require permission for parents to have access (to me, this is crazy, especially in my daughter’s case). I don’t want to have her under guardianship a la Britney Spears, but after the Va Tech shooter case (IIRC, records about him couldn’t be shared with family), we want to make sure that things don’t happen in a vacuum. Is this all something I should see . . . an estate planning attorney for? Someone who works with family law? IDK what the specialty is that would help us with this. [Daughter is not opposed to this and once she is 18, obviously is an adult who we hope will make good decisions.]

    1. Estate planning. A special needs trust plus some sort of health care proxy will cover this.

      Consider who you want as backups.

    2. I’m confused – so you want to have access to her medical records but only until she turns 18?

      You might want to look into Supported Decision-Making in the long run — but I thought that is something you set up before they turn 18, not while they’re 14.

      https://www.aclu.org/issues/disability-rights/integration-and-autonomy-people-disabilities/supported-decision-making

      (Plus on some quick googling isn’t it only an option that she can make to restrict access to you, not something that happens automatically?) https://www.wcnc.com/article/life/parenting/children-kid-minor-restrict-medical-test-records-age-charlotte-north-carolina/275-367b4278-2419-41a5-bf23-518ef2921a9e

    3. Your daughter with cognitive disability is not akin to Brittney Spears in any way, so I’m not sure I understand the hesitation around guardianship?

  8. Does anyone make their own jewelry? Have you taken any good online classes to help you? And what’s your best source for beads? Suddenly interested in this after 15 years…

    1. I do from time to time, but I never like it as much as the stuff I buy! I bought a good book on wire wrapping and just watched some online videos. My beads are from ebay or from taking apart jewelry I already own and restyling it the way I like. I like findings from Rio Grande. And there are two really good bead stores near me. I unfortunately have an uncanny knack for being drawn to something and then asking how much it is, only to find out it’s the most expensive item in the store. (This skill goes beyond beads)

  9. So, there were lots of comments this morning to the effect of liberals lamenting their inability to understand rural voters.

    I am wondering: has a national, or even state-level Republican leader ever admitted that no, just because Democrats think that gay and tr—s people should be treated as human beings doesn’t mean that they are out to turn your kids gay? That CRT is not taught in grade schools and the goal of it isn’t to make white people “feel bad”? That it’s society, not the government, that may treat you badly if you use words like ni—er or f—-ot? That there is no such thing as abortion up until birth? That harassing teachers, librarians, and public health workers who are trying to do their jobs isn’t cool?

    I feel like these aren’t even policy disagreements, they are disagreements about what constitutes a civil society. And from what I can see, Republican leaders are happy to use these lies to rev up their base. They don’t seem to be doing any work to meet the other side even halfway.

    1. I have kids in two different urban public schools and work in a woke area. The kids’ DEI trainings and the ones I have been to may not be textbook CRT, but they often have echoes of that or are otherwise tin-earred, especially for children, especially in an area where many people are neither black nor white and may be recent arrivals to the US (and not from western Europe). I have been to one training that was stellar. A lot of stuff in schools is garbage (no budget and they get a lot of bad canned programs) and after the pandemic learning losses, would prefer that the schools stick to reading and math, especially math, to get kids back on track. If you really want to help a kid, make sure they master math. If they can do that, there won’t be much that they can’t do.

    2. I think that both sides are sidetracked by focusing on “CRT” (which may be taught in law schools, IDK) when what parents mean is “our young kids are being told that they are racists.” When the response to that is “CRT is only taught in law schools,” both sides seem to be talking or yelling past each other.

      And yet, whatever kids learn, I don’t think it’s the fine details of history like that the Emancipation Proclamation only freed slaves in the CSA and that slaves in “free” states like Delaware remained enslaved until the constitution was amended to ban it.

    3. I wanted to look up info on who attends Trump rallies – my guess is that it’s more the suburban Rs who get riled up about CRT and trans issues. I can see rural Rs just thinking it’s a weird sideshow and one more reason to vote against the bad people with inflation. I can also see rural Rs wanting to keep their guns.

    4. CRT is taught in colleges and it’s a theory, just like feminist theory and so many other theories, which simply provides a lens by which to consider the experiences of others’. It is not a question of teaching math or how to be gay or how to hate your race or whatever else the lies are. It’s about teaching math while also collaborating with peers, while also understanding people learn differently, by having math scenarios that reflect different life experience other than white names and white images in books and such. It isn’t an either or. That’s a lie to make people turn against inclusive education that recognizes the decency of all people. Let’s not spread it or support it.

      I don’t think most people in any political office or running actually thinks that someone being LGBT+ means they can somehow convert or that it is contagious or whatever the caca is of the moment. What actually happens is that they get used as ways to stir up anger and hate and to bring people together by hating the same small group who don’t have political power to fight back. Just as our brain befriends people who hate the same tv show or football team, some gain political support by getting their people to hate the same group (often tr@ns youth who are small in numbers and not old enough to vote to fight back).

      The reality is that Black voters and youth voters turned out for equity and supported inclusion and decency. Heck, look at the Abrams situation; the reason she didn’t win was because white men and white women did not vote for her. If you look at Uvalde, white people there still voted for the gun guy. There is so much racism and misogynoir happening and there are so many fingers pointed at why youth aren’t 100% turnout or why Black men didn’t something or Black women didn’t something. But the reality is that white voters are not supporting Ds the way they need to be and then further the problem by pointing fingers and blaming people who are showing up and carrying the weight of far more than they should have to.

      But as long as the white votes are still going republican, guns, and anti-body autonomy, we’re going to keep having these conversations. The likeliest change would come if we can figure out how to undermine the racism and sexism most of us are taught, which tend to cause us to vote for white men (a group most likely to vote against women, LGBT+ people, disability rights, etc.)

      Okay, off my soapbox… for now! :)

      1. I don’t currently live in Georgia, but my family does, and I’ve paid a lot of attention to the governors race. I would have voted for Kemp as well, he is doing a decent job and he knows how to govern. To me, it’s easier to blame white peoples for being racist than to grapple with your candidate wasn’t that great.

        Kemp is a potential Presidential contender in 2024. Not sure what I think about this, but that’s the quality of candidate he is.

        1. He’s doing a decent job unless you care about criminal justice, access to medical care in the rural parts of the state, abortion, or education.

      2. “CRT is taught in colleges and it’s a theory, just like feminist theory and so many other theories, which simply provides a lens by which to consider the experiences of others’. It is not a question of teaching math or how to be gay or how to hate your race or whatever else the lies are. It’s about teaching math while also collaborating with peers, while also understanding people learn differently, by having math scenarios that reflect different life experience other than white names and white images in books and such. It isn’t an either or. That’s a lie to make people turn against inclusive education that recognizes the decency of all people. Let’s not spread it or support it.“

        This is the smartest thing anyone has said here about this. And I will add that I studied CRT in college and found/find it an incredibly useful lens. It works especially well for the “why do rural voters hate liberals?” question. Hint: it’s not economics people.

    5. “I feel like these aren’t even policy disagreements, they are disagreements about what constitutes a civil society. And from what I can see, Republican leaders are happy to use these lies to rev up their base. They don’t seem to be doing any work to meet the other side even halfway.”

      Right. This is my issue with the “deMoCrATs NEeD to tRY TO UnderstaNd thE OtHER SidE” statements this morning. I know what Republicans stand for – they could not have made it more clear:
      – Abortion should be illegal for everyone everywhere and if a 10-year-old has to give birth to her rapist’s baby, so be it
      – Gay marriage should be illegal
      – We’re not so sure about that interracial marriage thing either
      – While we’re at it, we’re not sure anyone has a right to contraception – even if you need it as essential health care
      – Trans people shouldn’t exist, and if they do exist they should be put through religious re-education and denied access to gender-affirming care
      – U.S. laws should be predicated on the Bible; if you’re not Christian (and white), maybe you just shouldn’t be here
      – Talking about who gets to use which bathroom is more important than fixing Social Security
      – Oh, and by the way, we want to “phase out” Social Security so future generations of people will have to live in poverty in their old age

      I’m probably missing some things. But you get the point. What is there to discuss? People who believe any or all of the above have a chip missing in their brains, or something. Human rights for me, but not for thee. F that. I don’t believe there is any “reaching out” or discussion to be had about concepts like “women, people of color, LGBTQI+ people and anyone who is not a white Christian are also human beings and deserve fundamental human rights.” I mean – what’s the “nuanced” position there, exactly?

      It is super-amusing for me to have some affluent White and Asian ladies here showing their true colors here this morning about what they really think politically, which I will boil down to: if it benefits ME, I am for it; if it inconveniences me or just generally squicks me out, I am against it. Quite a reversal from just two years ago, after George Floyd’s murder, when some of these same posters were tripping over their own feet trying to prove their “woke credentials” and that they really truly were intersectional allies of BIPOC and LGBTQI+ people. Great job, ladies! I saw a headline on CNN that said that Republicans made gains among white women and the discussion this morning tracked with that perfectly.

      2. You missed
        – White teenagers’ right to purchase assault rifles is more important than kids being safe in school.

      3. You do know that many republicans don’t actually agree or support with what you listed? They have other priorities. You can call them names for caring about their self interest first but the reality is that’s how most people vote. The democrats can continue to have purity tests or they could consider making their tent a little bigger and maybe ACTUALLY make the world better. I’d love for women to have an unrestricted right to choose but I’d happily take a nationally enshrined right before 15 weeks as a starting point. I’d love to have universal healthcare but would happily take caps on what drug companies can charge for certain drugs. You can be principled or you can win. I wish that wasn’t the reality but it’s not.

        1. So what are those interests, and why are republican policies the answer over democrat? I get why the abstract culture issues could seem less important than “kitchen table issues” to folks who are struggling but I have heard a lot of democrat messaging and strong campaign positions on exactly those kitchen table issues – lowering drug costs, raising wages, repairing infrastructure, etc, especially right in the lead up to the election.

          1. The best example I can give isn’t particularly helpful for the rural discussion but something that I found incredibly frustrating this election cycle as someone who lives in a New York suburb was the democrats messaging around crime and homelessness which was…nothing. I was bombarded with ads for republicans for weeks about how Kathy Hochul is weak on crime and honestly there wasn’t a lot of counter messaging I heard. I was never going to vote for Zeldin solely based on his abhorrent abortion views as that’s something really important to me. But as someone who pre COVID felt perfectly safe walking around New York after midnight to now avoiding public transportation because I feel unsafe, having seen people mugged in broad daylight while the cops stood by watching, seeing at least 40 peoples private parts in the past 2ish years on public transit/on the street, saw someone shooting in heroin on a walk with my then 2 year old, I could see how someone who wasn’t laser focused on abortion rights being pursued that voting for democrats might be morally superior but voting for republicans make you feel safer on a daily basis.

            Oh and as mentioned in the thread this morning by others, often times any voicing of any concerns about crime or homelessness is met with harsh attacks, suggesting that I am racist or hate homeless people.

          2. I have a longer comment in m0d but one example that I saw this cycle was the attacks on Kathy hochul for being weak on crime.

            Someone feeling unsafe pretty much daily in the city these days is someone who could may have been persuaded to vote R if they thought they’d feel safer with a more tough on crime governor.

            The fact the race was as close as it was is pretty scary.

          3. Totally understand the crime example in a governors race. I’m in Chicago and we also have had a noticeable uptick of crime/homelessness in the loop and city and on public transit (at least it seems that way to me as someone who lives in the city and committed on transit to the loop). Here that seems directly related to the pandemic, but definitely needs to be addressed. And I think both parties agree that something must be done – the question is how/what. Republicans have a real advantage optically on crime regardless of whether their proposed policies would actually solve the problems.

            It’s also just easier to say “ tough on crime” than actually solving the immediate and underlying problems, or to message about solutions to complex problems like homelessness. But I agree that Dems should message on these points as strongly (and authentically) as possible just so it’s not one sided. And not call people bigots for expressing concern about these issues.

        2. I’m a registered independent. I spent 90 minutes on my ballot, and voted for what I thought best. My votes were split across party lines, I’m not sure what percentage because I don’t care. I also don’t care what you think about some of my Republican choices and frankly think we’d all be better off if ever stopped voting straight party lines.

        3. The Democrat tent is impossibly large at the moment. It includes everyone who doesn’t want Trump and Qanon. Everyone who thinks that a 10 year old should not be forced to give birth. It’s no surprise if democrats have difficulty rallying policy across the huge pool of everyone else.

    6. Knock it off, PolyD. If you don’t know that the Secretary of Education was not in charge of school closures, don’t talk politics.

      3. I have no idea what spurred you to tell a presumably educated woman to not talk politics because she doesn’t have a complete understanding of one thing, but I don’t think you should be proud of it. Politics is for everyone.

      4. Dude, I know schools have local control. But the pandemic was a nationwide emergency; I would have expected the DoE to do SOMETHING to help! Maybe help get better internet access for schools? Help teachers get PPE? They did nothing.

        I mean, we expect FEMA to step in when there’s a hurricane – why is it so odd to think that DoE could have helped when there was a nationwide emergency in education?

        Also, voting for school boards members because they would “keep the schools open” without considering whether this would cause death and illness among children is a pretty bad look. I know COVID is (usually) not so bad among kids, but I guess it’s okay to kill that kids mother because she’s a teacher? And I agree it was very, very hard on working mothers to have the schools closed, but that’s on the employers, not the schools.

        But yeah. Republicans are so good at yelling about imaginary things, not so good with actually developing or implementing solutions for problems.

        1. Disagree. I know a lot of people who don’t think a 10 year old should be forced to give birth/ don’t want q anon / don’t want trump and do not feel welcome by the democrats or that the democrats are doing anything for them or issues they care about.

        2. Yikes. If you still think anyone who is mad that their kids school was closed is callous and basically doesn’t care about teachers or health or safety, I think you’ve illustrated the exact issue many people in the middle have with democrats right now. It feels like there’s no room for discourse unless you want to get chastised for not being a good enough person

          1. If you feel that teachers really should have put their lives at risk so you wouldn’t have to deal with your kids all day, or that Republicans may have some good ideas about the homeless people who gross you out (and you’d honestly just prefer not to have to look at them), you are not a very good person and it would benefit you – and society – for you to do some examination of why you feel your need not to be inconvenienced tr umps someone else’s right to exist.

          2. I think this is a fair point too. There needs to be less sanctimony about some of this stuff. I don’t even really think that it’s there from the politicians as much as the loudest voices that take over, and which then get amplified by the right wing media for the express purpose of causing divisions. It’s like no one learned anything from the George W Bush years when this was the Karl Rove playbook. We can argue about whether it’s right or wrong, fair or unfair, but the reality is that the rhetoric that gets amplified turns people off and we should not be doubling down on the debate every single time.

          3. Thanks Anon at 8:30, I voted straight D but please continue calling people names, I’m sure it will really help in 2024.

            My kids were too young to be in school but shockingly as a parent (and as a citizen) I’m super worried about the mountain of evidence of the massive damage done by extended school closures. Also is your position that everyone in Europe is not a good person because they kept schools open? And I’m a bad person because I don’t want to see someone touch themselves in public or use illegal substances in public? Ok. I have to wait for the sun to come up before I go running because I no longer feel safe on my old path. And before you tell me I’m over reacting, a young woman was r@ped on that path last week by someone with 20 priors. But glad you think I’m a bad person for what seems like a perfectly reasonable concern for my public safety and the education of children in our country (which was already embarrassingly bad pre pandemic).

            Oh and I have plenty of teacher relatives and friends who hated virtual learning and were delighted to be back in person. Also you do realize so so many people didn’t have the luxury of working from home, right? So yeah having schools closed did present real problems for a lot of people.

        3. I dunno, I am a pretty committed democrat and I can acknowledge that the schools were mostly completely mishandled by the democrats in many parts of the country during the pandemic. I think it’s completely insane that schools in some parts of CA were closed as long as they were. We can’t be the party of facts and science and not acknowledge that school closures beyond the initial period didn’t seem to make a huge difference. Look at Europe for comparison, or even FL.

          1. I agree w/you about school closures…but I also think that in some ways it got blown out of proportion thanks to conservative media like Fox News. Like if you don’t live in one of the affected districts, why do you care that “some parts of CA were closed as long as they were”?? You should look at your local officials and vote for who you think will handle the situation appropriately based on what they’ve said and done, and not worry about what’s happening in a tiny number of very blue pockets of the country. I trusted my local (red state) Democrats to handle the situation fine and they did.

          3. It got blown out of proportion but a lot of national level democrats were advocating for more / longer closures. People remember that stuff and are hesitant to vote someone into power who may do the same on a national scale in a way that would affect them

    7. “Has a national, or even state-level Republican leader ever admitted that no, just because Democrats think that gay and tr—s people should be treated as human beings doesn’t mean that they are out to turn your kids gay?” Yes, but they keep losing.

    8. Agreed. I saw an interview with a guy who said he was voting Republican because of critical race theory (unprompted, the interviewer just asked him “Why are you voting for X candidate?”) and then they asked him what he didn’t like about CRT, and he just said “uhh…I dunno…I just…don’t like it” and it was clear he had no idea what CRT meant at all, like not even the foggiest idea.

      That’s why I really disagree with the person this morning who said what Democrats need to do going forward is back away from hot button “culture war” issues like CRT and tr-ns rights to appeal to rural voters. We should focus on turning out our base and appealing to people (largely white women in the suburbs) who are pro-Roe and pro-democracy. Rural white voters are basically a lost cause at this point. They’re going to parrot whatever Fox tells them, and if weren’t tr-ns rights or CRT making them upset, it would be illegal immigration or something else Fox pundits say making them vow to be “never Democrat.” But we don’t need them – the last few election cycles have shown that it comes down more to turnout and engaging the base + moderates than trying to appeal to people who are already firmly on the other side. And with the demographics of the country shifting, there are a fewer and fewer rural voters in each election anyway.

      1. To be fair, a lot of the commentary about culture wars stuff is very applicable to white suburban women

        1. Yeah, I get that. But I think there are plenty of white suburban women who are more worried about democracy and abortion rights than which locker room kids use or CRT, and I think it’s a better strategy for Democrats to focus on appealing to and turning out those women than to try to win over women for whom the ‘culture wars’ stuff is a big dealbreaker. Fox News can turn any issue into a culture war, and trying to avoid one is a losing proposition for Democrats, IMO.

          I do think pandemic-era school closures are a little different, and I think (some) Dems misstepped on that. I am very liberal and very horrified by the post-2015 Republican party, but in 2020 I voted for Biden, Dems for Congress and state legislature, and my red state’s Republican governor because our Dem governor candidate said schools should be “first to close, last to open” and I think that’s utter nonsense. Kids are the future and working parents are vital to the economy. Keeping kids in school should be a priority, schools should be open and the ONLY situation in which school closures are remotely valid is if everything else is closed and people are being ordered to stay home from anything non-essential (ie March-May 2020).

          1. I’m in NYC and I can tell you that the culture war issues resonate here with plenty of white suburban and even urban women. They are anxious about their kids and there is plenty of misinformation going around in these circles too.

      1. Oh yeah, that was a lovely letter. Interesting that it made the national news because it was so…unusual… that a high ranking Republican official could actually be decent to tr—s kids.

  10. Thinking about the woman with what I’m sure is perfectly acceptable jeans from this morning, about the one who fell for the lies of a married man, the ones who have posted about discovering spousal affairs, about the ones in the jobs where bosses overwork them and where colleagues undermine them, and so many others.

    It’s so so hard. It’s so hard to post here and have everyone agree that the thing you must do is a thing that breaks your heart. It’s so easy to tell ourselves that they don’t get it or don’t know how much we love the guy or how hard it’d be to move or how it would disrupt our kids or pets or friends. As intelligent women, we are really good at using our brains. As a result, many of us are also really good at justifying. Plus, our brains are hardwired to not want change and many of our life experiences have taught us that change is scary.

    Please know that, if you are someone who has posted and we all gave an answer that felt to you like we piled on or we don’t understand, I am thinking of you. I am thinking of how hard this part is. I am thinking about how bad things get before we turn to internet strangers for advice when what we are secretly hoping for isn’t advice but is a way to make it okay when we know the situation is not okay.

    Please know I am sending you love and support. Until you are ready to share with your healthy friendships of people who support your success, please hear that I am so proud of you for standing up for yourself, for realizing you deserve more, for not letting someone undermine reality in order to continue to mistreat you. Please know that, even when this group feels like we are piling on, when we aren’t saying what you hope we will or what you want to hear, we are rooting for you.

    I truly hope that this board someday becomes a board full of Senior Attorneys who find their life’s love and who marry in a great dress, like the ones who takes great trips, and like the travelers, the fashionistas, the ones wearing sparkly tops to fun parties, the ones who post about their amazing honeymoons, the ones who love their hobbies, and the ones who go to bed each night ready to rest and looking forward to the next day. If you are reading this and don’t have the life or the relationship you want yet, I am so rooting for you and I can’t wait til you post asking us all what jewelry or meal or outfit to buy yourself in celebration! <3

      1. Thank you so much for posting this. I think many people need to read it.

        I encourage OP with the jeans from this morning to go back and check for some later responses. I know I wrote a supportive one and so did some others.

        3. Like a couple of other commenters above – literally ALL the comments have been supportive.

          Not all are coddling. But apart from a couple who are “what? what?” because they cannot understand how OP could possibly even ask (instead of DTMA), all the comments are “NOOOO! he is abusive! get out now! get out SAFELY! get out please, please, please!”

    7. Before I found my life’s love and married in that great dress, I posted on here as Anon for This and everybody piled on and told me to DTMFA and it was horrifying and heartbreaking. That was about 10 years ago and may I just say that everybody who posted on that threat did me a huge favor, even though it didn’t feel like it at the time!

      1. I have been an Anon or an Anon for This too, been piled on by people too. Thought everyone sucked. Then I passed the defensive feelings and realized they were all right and that they were repeating what my inner voice was whispering. Hated everyone for piling on. Then realized I actually hated the situation or the way the person was treating me. Got out. Grateful for the pile on… and also grateful for those who were compassionate when they piled on because they realized that I wasn’t a tr0ll or they realized I was hearing something hard to hear.

        I think so many of us have stories of being Anon or Anon for This and being piled on in ways that were horrible at the time but turned out to be exactly the right guidance. I just hope we all keep showing up for each other in kind ways, that those who have successes keep sharing their stories, and that, just like we did with SA, we go from piling on to talking furniture for her new home to hearing about her wedding dress to hearing about her travels and her happiness. For those who aren’t focused there, I hope we go from hearing about toxic work environments to ones where their expertise is valued and they feel cherished. <3

    8. I’m the NYC Anon from a month or so back with the jealous, manipulative ex who’s now married and expecting a child (and reached out to tell me so, opening all the old wounds and feelings). The responses I got were overwhelmingly to block him, and I did just that. It was difficult at first because I really closed the door to him reaching out in the future (I don’t know what I pictured this looking like, but still), but ultimately I know it was the right thing to do, and it has brought me some peace. I even removed him as a connection on LinkedI n so he can’t message me there! Thank you to everyone for speaking firmly with me at the time.

  11. If you eat a lot of veggies, how are you getting them in? What does your weekly shop look like, how often do you use fresh vs frozen, how much prep is required?

    1. I eat probably 5-6 different vegetables per day. Most are roasted or sauteed in big batches once or twice a week. I also like making chopped salads (like grape tomatoes, peppers, cucumbers, chickpeas) and keeping it in the fridge w/o dressing, so that it lasts several days and I can add dressing, feta. avocado etc. when I want a serving. I eat 2-3 different veggies each with lunch and dinner, and occasionally will have a soup or stew or something with veggies for breakfast.

      I rarely use frozen vegetables (personal preference – nutritionally speaking, they aren’t much different).

      For a family of 3, including a veggie LOVING toddler (seriously she eats more veggies than most adults I know), we buy a ton of veggies per week (generally 2x per week).

    2. This time of year (any time other than the height of summer, really) we get huge bags of veggies from Costco and roast them. We just eat a lot of roasted veggies the day we make them, and leftovers are great for lunch-time sides. They costco stuff does need some prep – we slice brussels sprouts in the cuisinart, and cauliflower and broccoli sometimes need to be broken into smaller florets. Squash cubes can go into the oven as-is, after tossing them with oil and salt (which we do with all the veggies).

      1. DH and I are super lazy. We eat a lot of salads made with mixed greens (buy the box at Costco) with different dressings from Trader Joes. We also buy the bags of frozen roasted veggies from Costco. I like spaghetti squash a lot and don’t mind cooking it in the microwave.

      2. Wait. Tell me more about slicing brussels sprouts in the cuisinart because I’ve just been cutting them in half by hand. All I’ve ever figured out what to use my cuisinart for is chopping stuff really finely and now I think I really should have looked up what those other blades were for… (it was a wedding present)

        1. I am not anon at 4:23 but if you like hummus and other dips, the whirly blade is amazing. If they gave you a plastic whirly blade, try making dough (just don’t overdo it because it happens fast) – for my money, it’s better than the kitchen aid mixer for dough. Both piecrust type dough and bread/pizza crust and other yeasty doughs. You’ll find lots of recipes online.

    3. Ooh I eat a lot of veggies. Here’s what I do as someone who is pretty lazy on the food front. I generally try to fill half of all my plates with veggies for every meal (including breakfast).

      – start the morning with a smoothie that includes either kale or spinach. I also will sometimes do egg bites that have veggies in them or do eggs with a veggie side (sautéed spinach, a sliced up tomato, heated up frozen veggies)

      – lunch I usually do either a salad (pre-packaged/washed greens with some extra veggies on top with some sort of protein). I often buy pre cut veggies and/or a veggie tray to make this easier. Not the most environmentally friendly with packaging but I figure the trade off of less food waste is a net win. And I also know I wouldn’t otherwise eat as healthy. If it’s chilly I’ll do a canned soup and add in some extra frozen veggies to up the veggie count. Sometimes I’ll do some leftovers and then often will heat up frozen veggies to have as a side.

      – dinner, I generally eat whatever and then add frozen veggies as an extra side if I don’t feel there’s enough veggies.

      This all was pretty gradual. Honestly I started pretty small and just made a conscience effort to add more vegetables to most meals. Over time it became normal/a habit that I don’t even really think about.

    4. I pretty much never eat a meal that does not include vegetables or at least fruit. I don’t eat breakfast most days, but when I do it tends to be eggs and vegetables (collard greens, spinach, chard, tomatoes, mushrooms) or a fruit smoothie. Lunch and dinner are vegetable heavy. I don’t make a lot of one-pot dishes. It is usually protein + veg + veg. I tend to focus on the veg more than the protein. I go to my local farmers market each weekend and buy what looks great and then add a protein plus pick up more veg at the grocery. I often cook it all at once so I just have to heat it throughout the week. Lunches may be more soup or sandwich or eggs plus a salad, sometimes a bag of salad. And I always have frozen veg on hand in case I don’t want to really cook. I eat most fresh things either steamed, roasted, or sauteed. Honestly salt, good black pepper, and olive oil is pretty much all I use. I grew up putting butter on vegetables but dropped that habit. it’s fine, though. I also never order at a restaurant without adding a vegetable. Burger plus salad not fries. Pizza plus salad. Add a side veg or salad to my entree that comes with only dots of veg.

    5. A typical lunch for me can be a slice of homemade quiche or frittata with a salad.

      My portion of quiche could include something like 2 mushrooms, 1/4 pepper, 1/6 courgette and 1/4 onion. Eggs, ham or chicken and cheese as well.

      My salad on the side can have vegetables like 1/4 cauliflower, 1/3 courgette, 1 spring onion, 1/2 pepper and a handful olives, or 1 large beet and 2 carrots, or 8 cherry tomatoes, half a cup beans and two spring onions and half a cucumber. And then feta, olive oil, seasoning, herbs, nuts, citrus….

      I use frozen peas, kale, green beans, edamame, okra, avocado, spinach, sprouts and mushrooms. Tinned tomatoes, beans, lentils and sometime button mushrooms and peas (for mushy peas.)

      I don’t prep vegetables before I use them, but I do make fridge salads ahead. There are some great ones at Budget bytes. I also cut veggies to have with hummus for a couple of days at a time.

    6. I dont know if this counts as a “lot” of veggies (it feels like it to me but yesterdays snack discussion on the mom’s page has me confused) but this is what I do:

      – breakfast is normally a quiche + fruit. I make my quiche with several sautéed veggies (this week is onion, tomato, mushroom, spinach) cheese, and some weeks bacon.
      – lunch is my main meal. Usually a salad or grain bowl or pasta with a protein, veggies, and sauce or topping. This week is brown rice, lentils, chicken sausage, tomato, mushroom, onion, and broccoli with feta and balsamic.
      – I keep dinner simple, as I have an after work activity almost every night. Usually chia pudding or oatmeal + fruit, a simple sandwich.
      – I try to have a side of veggies with lunch and dinner. Usually this is really basic: side salad, steamed or roasted veg, crudités.
      – I also usually eat 2-3 servings of fruit as a side or a snack.
      – I try to get as many colors as possible between my fruit and veg.
      – I go shopping once a week and meal prep my quiche and my lunch (usually both shop and prep Sunday or Monday). Some weeks I prep my dinner and snacks, some weeks I assemble as I go. Active parts of prep take about 60-90 mins.

      So, today I ate:
      – a slice of quiche + 2 handfuls of blueberries
      – a banana as a morning snack
      – the grain bowl for lunch with a side salad
      – babybel cheese as an afternoon snack
      – I plan on eating peanut butter toast for dinner with carrots and hummus as a side
      – dessert will probably be a few Oreos

      Some tips:
      I buy most of my veg fresh (always frozen spinach, sometimes frozen broccoli) but this is mostly because my preferred vegetables dont freeze well (tomatoes, raw carrots, celery, cucumbers and peppers, zucchini, salad greens). If I ate more spinach or peas or cooked carrots, for example, I’d definitely buy more frozen.

      I try to plan meals that reuse the same vegetables (so quiche + grain bowl).

      I keep my sides very simple. Like broccoli steamed in the bag in the microwave. Baby carrots dipped in a side of ranch.

      I dont have a ton of variety within my week. I buy a bag of baby carrots and eat them 8 days in a row and then next week its a bag of celery.

      I walk to work and pass my grocery store on the commute so if I’m having more delicate produce I’ll resupply mid week.

      Its expensive. I shop sales, clip coupons, and never buy organic. But, I also use the excuse to guilt myself into actually eating what I buy.

      If you’re really busy, my fav way to get some produce in my diet is definitely the squeezable apple sauce.

      1. Oh adding a few more tips I forgot:

        +1 to roasting a bunch of veggies in the beginning of the week.

        I am lazy and buy some veg pre-cut.

        Meet yourself halfway! If frozen or pre-cut or pre-cooked or whatever is easier for you, get that! Im a big fan of progress over perfection (hence my celery sticks + ranch being a go-to side for dinner. It doesn’t have to be a recipe!)

        I occasionally meet with a dietician who is big on adding not subtracting (adding veg to my plate not removing something I like or counting calories). She also has me focusing on overall balance. Does each meal have protein, carb and fat with a healthy serving of fruit or veg? Great – carry on.

        1. Sorry – one more tip! I grew up having a hot vegetable + a salad with dinner every night. This was the early 00s so vegetables weren’t as fun but it was usually a steamed green vegetable (broccoli, asparagus, string beans) + a bagged salad (if we had time my mom would spruce this up with more veg like carrots and tomatoes and cucumbers). Very, very simple and quick but a great way to get more vegetables into our diet.

          We also always grew up with crudités supplies in the fridge. Peppers, mushrooms, cherry tomatoes, broccoli, carrots, cucumbers, celery + ranch for snacks, appetizers, a quick side for lunch. Every single time my mom entertains or brings an app to a party, there is crudités.

    7. I’m not sure how to answer your question directly but I’ll give you some examples of recent dinners, because that’s been helpful for me in the past. Lunches are usually dinner leftovers (so equally vegetable-forward) and breakfast is either yogurt, oatmeal, or toast with fruit. Snacks are fruit, and I often bake fruit-based desserts.

      — braised white beans with fennel and escarole (NYT recipe) with sourdough bread
      — soup with leeks, beets, carrots, and cabbage (ok fine it’s borsch), also mashed potatoes and roasted chicken thighs
      — pulled pork tacos with a slaw made of cabbage, carrots, cucumbers, and asian pears (light on the pork and heavy on the slaw per taco)
      — roasted brussels sprouts & butternut squash (with onions and apples) and broiled fish
      — cauliflower roasted with red onions and parmesan; sweet potatoes with lentils and spinach (only frozen vegetable I sometimes use)

      It’s still farmers market season so I do most of my grocery shopping there — I just get what looks good and think about how the different things will go together. I then pick up meat, staples, and things that I didn’t find at the market at the grocery store. About 2/3 of my cart and budget is vegetables and fruit. I buy very little that can be eaten without cooking it first — i.e. very few snacks, desserts, pre-made meals, etc. I have to watch my sodium for health reasons and am lactose intolerant so I eat very little dairy. I learned to cook and bake from scratch when I was young and broke so now I find it difficult to switch off the thought process that pre-cooked food is “too expensive” and I haven’t really felt the need to fight this.

    8. I like to roast cauliflower, broccoli, brussels sprouts, and asparagus. I buy what’s in season. I cut it in half (brussells sprouts), snap the ends off (asparagus) or buy it pre-cut (cauliflower and broccoli), throw it on a half sheet pan lined with parchment paper, add a little olive oil and salt, and let it rip in a 400-ish degree oven. 20 or so minutes is about right, longer for brussells sprouts, shorter for asparagus, but that really depends on how thick the spears are.

      Then I put this all in a pyrex in the fridge and add to lunches all week. Cold, they’re great on a salad. Reheated they’re a great side for whatever protein is on your plate.

      When I get chard, sometimes kale but usually chard, I try not to stash it in the fridge, but I rinse it, cut the bottoms of the stalks and put it in a big vase like a bouquet of flowers. It’s pretty, and I can grab one leaf at a time. While I’m waiting for a protein to saute or fry or whatever, I de-stem a few leaves, cut the soft leaves into ribbons, if I’m eating the stem I cut that into a large dice (like celery), then when the protein is resting I saute all that in the same hot pan. If using the stem, and you should, it’s tasty, I add that first and just wilt the leaf ribbons at the end. You can do this same after-protein saute with a bag of baby spinach and it’s done in like a minute. I like to add a little lemon or finish with olive oil, depending on what you want to eat with it.

      I also like one chard leaf for breakfast – just make the ribbons of the leaf, no stems, saute those super quickly in a little teflon pan with a tiny bit of oil, add butter, add an egg, salt and pepper, and stir it all up for a scramble. It’s really great on something like whole wheat toast.

      I use frozen corn, peas, green beans, or mixed vegetables in soups. When I feel like I haven’t had enough veggies recently, I make a soup base of sauteed onion, celery, carrot, and garlic, add tomato paste (maybe one 1 tbsp), saute that a little, add stock or broth, and simmer until the carrots are the way you like them. Then add a ton of frozen veggies and just cook those through. It’s really a good soup. I make it all the time. Sometimes I add meat, sometimes I don’t. Sometimes a drained and rinsed can of black beans.

      When I make a braise, I cut un-peeled carrots into sizeable chunks that can withstand the long cooking (keeping the peel on keeps them in one piece) and serve the carrots alongside whatever was braising.

      I also like fresh green beans in those microwaveable bags. I throw these into whatever I’m cooking at the end – a stir fry, soup, stew, or I just saute them after cooking in some oil and red pepper flakes.

      For me, eating veggies is about seasoning them so they taste good. I’m not shy with salt. My roast brussells sprouts are as addictive as potato chips. The salt, oil, and roasted crispiness makes them irresistible.

  12. Has anyone participated in a virtual holiday party with attendees in two different locations, where the event was actually fun? Not WFH, but two teams based several states apart. About 8-10 attendees in all; our teams interact frequently and get along well.

    If we were close enough geographically we would make this an in-person happy hour but the logistics simply won’t come together for that. Trying to brainstorm some ideas to get together virtually before the holidays and celebrate good working relationships.

    1. The only successful one I’ve attended involved a game where one location competed against another. It was something like a trivia game.

      1. Yes, I would do virtual trivia and mail people alcohol or their drink of choice. Goody bags with drinks are always welcome! The company Hedgehog Trivia is a good one.

        1. Thanks! Looks like Hedgehog closed down, but I can search for other ideas along this vein.

          To be clear for commenters below, the team members have enthusiastically opted in, except for one person who graciously bowed out because they don’t enjoy group socializing (and that is fine). We pretty much just want to book an hour to goof off “together” with some sort of theme or game to fill dead space. We definitely plan to have beverages in both locations.

    2. This sounds awful, I’m sorry. I would not want to spend my valuable time in a virtual event, no matter how much I liked the people.

      1. This. It was fine during the pandemic because there weren’t other options. I’d pass on trying to make fetch happen here.

    3. Short virtual event such as trivia followed by separate happy hours in the separate locations?

    5. Just don’t do it. Give them all a gift card for their own meal or something and call it a day. I’m so, SO sick of being on calls and video calls, I do not want to spend an ounce of energy being on screen or looking at a screen when I don’t have to.

    6. Yeah, just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should. Tolerance for virtual events is at an all time low. Don’t do it now, save your energy and use it to make sure there are good opportunities for team building any time members of the team travel to one another.

    7. I did a virtual casino event that was fun, and attendees received a c-cktail kit – YMMV based on your workforce whether those are sensitive areas, but it was different than the usual stare-at-each-other-and-talk-one-at-a-time yawnfest.

    10. virtual party = meeting

      If you have a standing meeting with both teams present, maybe try to make it fun one time. I’ve been on meetings with funny awards given – best spreadsheet, that sort of thing – that were fun and a nice break from the day to day. But if you schedule something virtual, especially outside of normal work hours, you’re just adding to the meeting workload.

    11. We did a virtual mixology class that was really fun. The organizer sent out a few recipes in advance (including a mocktail) and everyone was allowed to expense $X for ingredients. I was thrilled to spend my company’s money on fancy booze. For the event someone demoed how to make each drink while we followed along. There were optional advanced techniques like making foam with egg whites or smoking an orange peel. The key is holding the event from 3:00-4:00 and letting people take off early.

      1. We did a virtual mixology class that was fun too! They actually sent us each a kit with all of the ingredients and then we made the cocktails online.

        1. That (or a virtual wine tasting where you send me the wine in cute little bottles) is the only conceivable virtual event I can imagine being anything other other than horrible.

    12. I did virtual cookie decorating for my SIL’s 2020 baby shower and everyone had a really good time. I shipped each person a package from Etsy of customized cookies and a few different icings and sprinkles. I think it would be even more fun if you two in-person groups interacting with each other virtually, which is the case in your situation unless I’m misunderstanding. (For my SIL’s shower it was each guest on their own Zoom, so interaction was a little more stilted but still fun.)

    13. The problem with a virtual holiday party in 2022, is that it’s 2022.

      In 2019, you would have been weird, but probably indulged.

      In 2020, you would have been a hero.

      In 2021, you would have been a cautious and caring employer.

      In 2022, a video party is … off. Do two different parties, and maybe have a scheduled mid-time video love-pile, if you think people (read: managers who are positive no matter what) will want to pay homage to each other.

  13. I generally assume that a first term president’s party will get destroyed during the midterms and Biden’s polling isn’t great, so I am surprised that the Democrats did as well as they did. Anyone else? I feel like Democrats are very doom and gloom on here.

    3. Yeah, I’m really baffled at the narrative forming. The expectation was that the Dems would be completely wiped out! That is normal in a midterm election! The fact that they didn’t, and that Congress is still even in play, is a HUGE story. Yet I see headlines like “Red Wave Yet to Materialize” instead of “Dem Wins Completely Defy Expectations.”

    4. Yes, this is a very good result. Clinton and Obama had much bigger midterm losses in their first terms, and the country was less polarized then that it is now. To the extent Democrats performed poorly, it mostly has to do with gerrymandering. I don’t understand why there’s so much handwringing here.

    5. No. 2018 was reasonably solid for Rs (lost the House, gained three seats in the Senate). Before that, 2010 was an epic disaster for the Ds. The GOP did well in 2002. Dems got wiped out in 1994 but that was the first time the Rs took control of the House in 40 years, which tells you enough about how midterms went prior to that.

    6. The republicans on Fox News were very depressed last night.
      I think this was a better election night than anyone anticipated – I literally spent the day worried about the governor’s race in NEW YORK!

  14. Another holiday gift question. I manage a small team and want to do something for the holidays, as is custom in my workplace. But anything lavish would be very weird, and it’s a government agency, so no, I can’t just give them a bonus. Any good ideas in the $25 range? I’m never happy with what I end up doing (restaurant gift cards one year, Moleskine journals another time … and I don’t remember what else). I’d prefer no alcohol.

    1. One year I got these little ceramic pots with chocolate in them that could be microwaved for fondue (link to follow). And I added some fruits and put it together in a little basket. You could keep it simple and do like an apple/some citrus, or marshmallows/pretzels. People really liked them!

    3. I would 100% rather get a generic $25 gift card than a tchotchke or food. A-zon, T-get, it doesn’t feel impersonal, it feels like I have an excuse to treat myself to something frivolous.

      1. +100

        My government boss just gives a gift card to the coffee shop by the office. Its very well received.

      3. Yes, $25 at Target, Amazon or a local coffee shop/lunch place would be my vote.

        But if you absolutely can’t/don’t want to give a gift card, I would enjoy fancy chocolates or a Yeti tumbler. I rarely drink and my entertaining is usually in situations in which it wouldn’t really be appropriate for alcohol to be served, so THANK YOU for not giving alcohol. I have literally a dozen unopened bottles of wine and champagne from previous bosses.

    4. Target gift card would be my preference. Can be used for anything.

      If you want a physical item a Klean Kanteen steel drinking bottle or a similar branded quality (Nalgene if you can’t afford steel) that is not a promo item but a properly made and sustainable bottle people can keep at their desk – or regift – would be useful. But it has to be a big brand.

    5. Hydroflasks or S’well water bottles? Really nice candles? Slippers? A very nice box of truffles with a personalized note to each?

      1. I don’t want any of those things! I already have an overflowing shelf of water bottles, including several from employers. Candles are disgusting , and slippers are unlikely to fit or ever be worn. Truffles are the only one that would be okay, though I don’t even especially like chocolate, and there’s already so much of it at the holidays I’m literally still finishing last year’s chocolate.

        I feel like cheap employer holiday gifts mostly just feel insulting because they so clearly indicate that they know and care nothing about the employees and I’d rather have nothing, but if you can do a gift card somewhere generic, I’d take that as at least well intended.

          1. I’m with 5:26. I just donated literally 10 Swell or similar nice water bottles from various CLE gift bags – how many does one person need? I don’t burn candles. I don’t need more chocolate at holiday times. I don’t want to think of my employer when I’m wearing slippers.

            Cash-equivalent gift cards are the best possible gift here.

          3. Ha! I’d feel a lot less grinchy if my employer actually gave me the stuff I needed to do my job instead of random stuff I don’t need or want! I also just hate waste and most of the generic gifts people suggest here are the kind of thing I’ll never use. Scented candles or anything else with a strong smell aren’t even allowed in my house! If you have to do presents, I’m all about the consumables, gift cards or just pretty cards with notes of genuine appreciation.

        2. It sounds grinchy but I agree! I live alone in a small downtown apartment. I have 3 water bottles and 2 travel mugs, I don’t need more. I more than enough real mugs (and just gave away several). I love candles but typically only have one at a time and only like certain smells (most holiday scented candles are too much for me!). I have a pair of slippers, I don’t need another pair. I don’t love chocolate, but I could give it to my dad. I’m never going to make fondue at home. I am specific about my notebooks and pens.

          One time a boss’ boss gave me one of those giant popcorn tubs. I live alone. It was way more popcorn than any one person could eat before it gets stale. I do eat a lot of popcorn, but none of the flavors that were in the tub. I had no where to put the tub. It was wild.

          I’d much rather my boss either save his money or give me a gift card.

    6. I got a large tin of I think three different flavors of popcorn from my manager once. I was like eh, but my kids were wild about it, and the tin is still in use as Lego storage. It’s the only gift like that that I remember, and that was a long time ago, so I guess it was a good one!

  15. Used to be that everything could be solved my JCP! When my dad suddenly died up north, I got my mentally ill brother and 8-year-old son funeral clothes, black sneakers, gloves, scarves and HAIR CUTS in one fell swoop! All we needed before we got on the plane. I remember reading the catalog on the phone with my mom, picking out house decorations after buying my first home. Miss it!

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