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For busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional.
Ignore the shirtless styling here — it's an interesting suit, and not that far into Creatives Only land. I've seen a lot of asymmetrical details over the years for suits and dresses, but I don't think I've ever seen a similar stripe running down only one side of a suit. I do wish it continued on the entire blazer — and I wish it weren't a logo'ed ribbon — but it's really interesting in theory.
Something else that's interesting here is the lapels. I'm not quite sure why, in this picture, they've styled the stand-up, structured collar to be folded down — it looks bizarre and is in all likelihood ruining the collar. The other lapels are realllly wide — if you zoom in you can see that the lapels go almost all the way to where the shoulder/arm meet. New trend or designer weirdness? We shall see…
Like I said: it's an interesting suit. It's also very very expensive: The blazer is $3245, and the pants are $1095.
What are your favorite designer suits, readers, either for wearing or drooling over?
This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!
Sales of note for 10.24.24
- Nordstrom – Fall sale, up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – Friends of Ann Event, 30% off! Suits are included in the 30% off!
- Banana Republic Factory – 40-60% off everything, and redeem Stylecash!
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – Friends & Family event, 30% off sitewide.
- J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Up to 30% off on new arrivals
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 40% off entire purchase, plus free shipping no minimum
- White House Black Market – Buy more, save more; buy 3+ get an extra 50% off
Sales of note for 10.24.24
- Nordstrom – Fall sale, up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – Friends of Ann Event, 30% off! Suits are included in the 30% off!
- Banana Republic Factory – 40-60% off everything, and redeem Stylecash!
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – Friends & Family event, 30% off sitewide.
- J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Up to 30% off on new arrivals
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 40% off entire purchase, plus free shipping no minimum
- White House Black Market – Buy more, save more; buy 3+ get an extra 50% off
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
anon
What kinds of questions do you like to ask on screening calls with recruiters?
I’m a lawyer applying to an in-house job at a company that is using an outside recruiting firm to screen resumes. While I have lots of substantive questions for people who work at the company, I’m having trouble thinking of good questions for an outside recruiter, besides what the interview process is like.
Anonymous
For the screening call, I doubt you’ll need to prepare many questions. The screener will be ticking boxes to make sure you meet the qualifications, vetting your salary requirements to confirm they are in range, and making sure you seem like a reasonable person. (source – 15 years in house)
anon
Nowadays? Clarify remote vs in person vs flex. We’re 100% in person and I cannot tell you how far we get in interviews sometimes with people who assume we’re flex. We’re not, we never said we were (in fact, we say “in person” in descriptions), and that will not change. It’s a function of the job and the industry we are a part of, not some curmudgeonly old man who doesn’t want to get with the times.
anon OP
Thank you!
Anonymous
What percentage of marriages/relationships would you say are happy after a certain point? I’m in my twenties and I feel like I don’t have any frame of reference for what healthy relationships look like. I’d love to hear from the hive how you feel about your partners or relationships, and what the secret is to being long-lasting/loving relationships.
Anonymous
Anecdotally only, I’d say around 50% are truly happy, 10-20% are dissatisfied for some reason but staying together, and the rest have broken up/will break up.
Anon
Having had an ok marriage and a wonderful marriage, my advice is to listen to that little voice in the back of your head. If she is doing anything less than cartwheels, don’t proceed. If she has doubts, don’t proceed. Someone can be a nice person or even a great person, and not be the right person for you. (And naturally, crappy people aren’t for you.) Don’t be afraid to let a nice guy go by if you aren’t thrilled. That’s the thing – all of us deserve someone who’s crazy about us – that means the other person deserves someone who’s crazy about them, too. If that’s not you, move on by.
Senior Attorney
Yes! And the flip side is “don’t chase boys (or girls).” Somebody who is really interested in you will pursue you and if they’re not, move on by,
anon
+1
Anon
+2 and boy did I learn that the hard way!
Anon
I don’t know what the percentages are, but I think a lot of this is expectations management and being on the same page about most things. I’m in my early 40s and have been married for 10 years (together 3 years before that). Am I wandering around blissfully in love every minute? No, of course not. I’m dealing with a chronic illness and feel lousy most of the time, we’ve had some difficult job situations and compromises to make (no kids, which does reduce some potential conflicts). But I’ve never for a second regretted marrying my husband and I have no doubts that we’re happier together than apart. We’re both reasonable, pragmatic people with fairly similar tastes in most things who enjoy spending time together and want to make things better for each other. I think it helps that we genuinely want the same thing most of the time, so there’s really just not that much to fight about. We happily did nothing for Valentine’s Day except make a simple dinner together at home and watch the Olympics. We almost never buy gifts for each other and I would be totally miserable if I felt like I constantly had to do things like that for him and would find it wasteful if he bought stuff for me, but we’re always there to help each other when we need it.
Anonymous
Minus the chronic illness, this is more or less my situation. People find our relationship a little odd in that we basically don’t do gifts for anything and sleep in separate bedrooms, but it totally works for us. I suspect no kids and ruthless pragmatism helps reduce a lot of the normal friction of relationships.
Anonymous
(And by “people”, I really just mean my mother)
Anonymous
14 years married. We’re definitely more like roommates than lovers right now but I’m ok with it; he’s still a wonderful partner and companion, and an amazing dad. I’d say we’re happy despite some challenges with our difficult kids.
Monday
I believe many relationships are founded (or maintained) on a fear of being single. If not most. My job has also taught me how absolutely rampant coercive control and abuse is in relationships, typically with male perpetrators and female victims.
50% truly happy relationships might even be an optimistic estimate for the whole population. Among my friends (who have a lot of advantages in life) I’d say about half of relationships appear to be happy and healthy.
anon
Being in a family where celebrating 30, 40, 50 years of marriage is common, here is what I am always told. Marriage and being with someone is a choice that you make every day and some days, or even some years, that choice will be tough. No one is blissfully happy all the time, and if you set yourself up for it will be all be kittens, and shiny unicorns that’s never going to happen. Also, among the secrets from the family – paradoxically, fight with your spouse – not all out, unhealthy toxic fights but disputes and what annoys you needs to be aired and not festered. Or, in their words, when you stop fighting you stop caring.
anon
In my early 40s, married for 19 years. We are still happy. A lot happier than most of the married couples we know, TBH. I think the keys are: a) we were both equally into each other when we got married (this is shockingly NOT TRUE in all cases), and b) we have common values. We’re lucky that we don’t have much to fight about. We still really enjoy each other’s company. Like, even if we weren’t a couple, I’d still want to be his BFF, if that makes sense. We didn’t have kids until we’d been married quite awhile (had time on our side), so that was a huge adjustment from being DINKS for 6.5 years. It’s not that things go swimmingly for us all the time, but we always know that we’re on the same team and have each other’s backs.
I realize this all sounds very Smug Married, and I apologize for that. I do think there is a good deal of luck in how we relate to each other, in addition to what we’ve done to keep our marriage strong throughout the years.
If you’re in your ’20s, don’t settle. And look more closely at your future husband’s character than the superficial. Is he fundamentally a good person? Willing to take your needs and wants as seriously as his own? Life will change a lot, and so will your circumstances.
Anonymous
Your last sentence is so important – we’ve been together for 20 years. We’ve been flat broke, flush pre-kids with two jobs, struggling with job changes; healthy and very sick. Dealt with family issues on all sides. You have to roll with the punches sometimes.
anon
Yup. A partnership is about being with each other when life’s punches are thrown your way. Because they will.
Anon
“a) we were both equally into each other when we got married (this is shockingly NOT TRUE in all cases)”
I honestly think this has so much to do with it, and this does come down to a lot of luck. There was no back-and-forth with my husband and I about being together or having a future together. I was super-into him and he was super-into me. Neither one of us was sitting there wondering if we could do better, or who else was out there. I still don’t think, if our marriage ended tomorrow, I could do better than him; he’s great. Like you’re saying, I know a lot of couples where one person (or both people!) feel like they settled, or like, yeah, this is okay; I need to marry someone and this person is fine so whatever. I don’t know that’s what builds a solid foundation for the long haul.
anon
Based on my anecdotal observations, the least-happy marriages in my circle are those between unequal partners. Meaning the guy said he loved her and did all the right things but had to be persuaded into making a commitment. If you ever find yourself in that scenario, be very, very wary. 15-20 years into the relationship, it is unlikely to be a happy scenario. The guy thinks things are fine, even great, and the women feel unloved and underappreciated.
CB
Same. We were both pretty pragmatic, made no effort to play it cool once we went on our first date (worked together for 9 months before that) and we were engaged by 9 months… we have been married for 8 years in October and we sleep snuggled up every night, take genuine delight in our lives together, and can make each other laugh til we cry.
Anonymous
My husband and I have been married for 16 years. We have 3 kids. We are definitely still happy together, although we have settled into a comfortable and somewhat boring routine together. We make s3x a priority and make sure to have it 2 or 3 times a week. We also try and do things alone together, but that is hard with the kids and our busy jobs. He is the person I trust the most in the world and the only person I want when things are happy or sad. We have built a life together and that is important to us. I will also say we were friends for many years before getting together. We always had chemistry but met in high school and then went off to separate colleges. We ran into each other and knew it was the right time. I have definitely had relationships that had stronger passion from the start, but those also had just as strong arguments and one was actually really abusive. So it was important to me to feel safe with my partner and that is absolutely my husband. I also still find him really attractive and a lot of fun to be around, so even though things are kind of boring in our middle age life haha it is not bad at all!
Allie
My marriage has had ups and downs–I’d say were about midpoint happiness among all of the friends’ marriages I know but man am I glad to be doing this life with him and I know he feels that way about me. I echo the question about what do you mean happy marriage? Life can be a slog, other people can be very disappointing, but IDK I guess I never expected bliss so seems good to me?
Anon
Husband and I have been together 8 years. Married 5. We have a two year old. We are more like roommates than romantic partners right now and it’s a non issue to me but my husband does bring it up every now and then. I strongly disliked him for about 6 months after the birth of our child. I think some of it was hormones/ ppd but most of it was balance of labor. It’s gotten a lot better after some tears and long conversations. We are in a good place, but I was literally researching apartments in case we split. We were reminiscing the other night about the day we met, and it brought up so many memories and why I love him.
Both our parents are still married and have similar relationships. Never openly affectionate but clearly in it for the long haul.
I think it just depends on your personality and priorities. Obviously someone whose love language is physical touch is going to look very different from other relationships to an outsider.
anon
We have a 9 month old and I have strongly disliked my partner since about my third trimester. I’m wondering how much of it is nursing hormones designed to make you not want to get pregnant again while nursing (and therefore being turned off by, or even strongly dislike, your partner), and how much of it is just that we are a bad fit and i want out of the relationship. It’s probably mostly the latter but I’m holding a faint hope that my resentment will start to subside along with the hormones when i stop nursing. I feel very guilty because he really deserves to be with someone who likes him.
Anon
I really dislike my husband on an irrational level if I’m on the pill, so I wouldn’t underestimate hormones. Though it sounds like you might have some rational reasons for wondering about “bad fit.”
Anon
My mother always says that she know is it time to change her hormone patch because my father becomes an idiot.
CB
I went from exhausted but generally happy to thinking my husband and I were going to get a divorce after I weaned. Hormones do crazy things.
Bonnie Kate
My husband and I have been together for 18 years, married for 13 years. I just did the math on the marriage years twice because that didn’t seem right – I can’t believe it’s been that long! We’re beating the odds, because we got married young (21/23) and met when we were in high school and stayed together all through college. We also work closely together professionally! We’re in the leadership of our family company and work quite well together.
We’re very happily married and value our marriage and partnership above everything else. We are both big talkers, highly sensitive to emotions of those around us, and we really care about being in a good space with each other, and our communication is very high. We can both tell when we get “off”/in a funk, and that usually will only last a few days and then we’ll end up talking it out. We both have highly sensitive parents, so the being highly attuned to each other’s feelings, wanting to talk it out before it becomes a blow up fight, probably stems from growing up trying to keep/make the peace (yes we’re the oldest kid in both of our families. :)).
We don’t have kids, we don’t want kids – figured that out together in our late twenties and very much are still on the same page. From looking at the marriages of some of my friends and families, the no kids aspect allows us to avoid a ton of hard marriage stuff that they have to deal with.
We do things together – hiking is our big hobby, and we both like nice restaurants – and we both have pretty extensive hobbies that each other doesn’t share, and also we don’t begrudge each other the time or money it takes to have these hobbies. I think that’s a unique thing to our marriage – I know a lot of people ask me about his hobby like I should have a problem with the time/money and I honestly do not – it makes him happy and more fulfilled in life, and that’s what is important. His commitment to his hobbies actually helped encourage me to develop my own hobbies in my late twenties when I found I was growing bored, and that has been huge in overall life satisfaction and confidence for myself. We both have very different strengths that we are very good at, and that makes us a good team. Also, we allow each other space to grow and change – we’re walking together through life – and also to take big risks together.
Another aspect – To use this site’s euphemisms, in bedroom gardening – we average 3-4 times a week together, and are open about self gardening apart. I also have zero jealousy or problem with him looking at online gardening videos. Contrary to the belief of him becoming disinterested in me/our gardening life after watching them or having performance issues, in our years together that has never happened.
We’ve been pretty consistently happy. A few years ago we had a year where we felt off for a longer period of time, and we both knew exactly what it stemmed from (dh made a life decision that I wanted to wait on for a while, he did it anyway). It caused some insecurity in the relationship for a little while – we sensed it, talked about it every few months, and knew that it was a rebuilding trust thing and that came from time. There was never any question that we weren’t going to stay together. It worked, and we’re in a good place now. It honestly worked out very very well and I’m glad we took the risks together that we did.
Our secrets: always assuming good intentions, being kind and encouraging to each other, listening to each other, over-talking everything, allowing each other to be human, being very loyal to each other and very committed to our relationship.
Anon
There have been many posts on here about this, take a look at the archives.
Also look at Senior Attorney’s advice about: there are dealbreakers, and there is the “price of admission”, you have to decide where different characteristics lie between these two options. There is no third category of “he’s like this now, but he will change”.
Based on myself and my friends:
– Both parties, from the beginning, approaching the relationship in a fair, kind manner. No games and less ego, being genuine, wanting to do your fair share of things and wanting to go on a joint journey together and help each other out along the way.
– Low drama persons and if possible, low drama immediate families (mother in law etc). Mature, self sufficient (not clingy) persons with a good sense of themselves.
Anon
I used to believe that most unhappily married couples knew deep down that they were not right for each other when they got married, but I no longer believe that. My husband and I were blissfully happy when we got married. We both felt like we had found our perfect person. I had a physical and emotional connection with him that was unlike what I’ve had with anyone else I’ve dated. We have the same values and had the same vision for our future. And we had been dating over 3 years when we got married, so it’s not like we rushed into things before the initial sparkle wore off.
But now, 15 years in (12 years married) things are very meh. He is a wonderful dad and I enjoy being on the parenting journey with him in a way I wouldn’t get to me even if we were the most amicably divorced co-parents in the world. But there is not much to our marriage other than our kids. We spend happy family time with them and share in the joys and stresses of parenting, but we spend almost no time together as a couple and basically never talk about anything that isn’t the kids or household management. And neither of us seems particularly inclined to change that. I wouldn’t be surprised if we split up after they’ve left home because we have nothing in common anymore except them. It’s a cliche, I know.
Anon
Married 23 years this year. I am late 40s, he is early 50s. I am still in love with my husband and he says he is still in love with me. We have a happy, low-conflict relationship where we enjoy doing things together, but also give each other space to do independent activities as well. We still have s*x, but it’s like maybe once a week or every couple of weeks vs. two or three times a week, like it was in our early days. I still find him attractive and sexy but I also admire him as a person. He’s my best friend and someone I genuinely enjoy spending time with. We’ve grown as people since we met but we’ve fortunately grown in the same direction.
As for how this happened, it beats me. Honestly. I think some of it is work and a lot of it is luck. My parents are still together but do not have an enviable relationship, IMO (it was VERY high-conflict when I was growing up; they’ve mellowed out now but oof – I will never forget the fights I witnessed). My husband’s parents divorced when he was really young and his mom never remarried. So in the absence of having good role models, I think we just mutually decided to be respectful and stay connected with each other and it worked out. We had a rough time when our kid was really young (like birth through age four) and came pretty close to splitting up, but then as our kid got easier to manage, the pressure levels went down. We have definitely had ups and downs throughout our time together, and it is not like every day is sunshine, roses and butterflies. But he’s my person, and I am glad to have had the experience of being with him.
I would say my top three tips for having a happy marriage are:
1. Always remember the two of you are on the same team and want the same positive outcomes for the family. that has helped in situations where I feel like we’re on opposite sides of an important issue. When what both of you want is a happy family that is peaceful and prosperous, you’re not on opposite sides.
2. There have been some times in our marriage where one or the other of us got caught up in a new hobby or interest and the marriage/spending time with each other took a bit of a backseat. These times were temporary and I am glad, on my side, I rode them out rather than making a big deal over him deciding he was going to go to the gym every day for an hour, or start fixing up bikes and reselling them, or whatever. I’m not a jailer and I don’t own my spouse; he has a right to a large amount of self-determination. Patience and tolerance go a long way, as long as trust is there and boundaries are in place.
3. You only get what you want when you say what you want. I am not a mind reader and neither is my husband. A lot of the conflict we did have stopped when we went to couples counseling and the counselor said, “you are both reasonable people with responsible jobs; is there some way you can’t communicate what you need from each other the same way you’d communicate your needs to someone you were working with?” There was not a reason. So rather than looking at the yard and hoping he’ll clean it up, and then getting mad when he doesn’t do it, I just say, “it’s time to clean up the yard again; I did it last time so I’d appreciate it if you’d do it this time, but let me know if you don’t have time and I can pitch in.” And then he goes and does what needs doing. Once we stopped the oh-so-seductive dance of “I’m going to get mad at you for not giving me something I didn’t tell you I wanted, and not tell you why I’m mad because you should know already” we stopped having fights and now our worst “conflict” is a sometimes-terse matter-of-fact discussion. (P.S., that “dance” was an old script I had picked up from watching my parents’ dysfunction and it did not serve me; I am glad the counselor helped me let it go.) BUT let me say – my husband is a thoughtful, responsible, unselfish person and he wants me to be happy. And over time we have learned enough about what each other wants to be able to anticipate needs without being asked, AND he cares enough to anticipate rather than waiting to be told what to do. I think that goes a long way in equality of tasks/responsibilities.
The most important thing you can do to have a happy marriage is choose the right person to marry. If they are clueless, obtuse, selfish or irresponsible before marriage, it won’t get better later.
Anon
If I may add to your #1: when it comes to conflict with someone outside the marriage, you are only “caught in the middle” if you aren’t on your spouse’s side to begin with.
Obviously, please do not apply to situations when your spouse is being completely whacked.
However, your mother tries to run your marriage? Your brother starts d*ck waving contests with your husband? You and your spouse agree to alternate holidays but your family gives you grief? You’re only caught in the middle if you let yourself be.
Anon
Aside from what has been said above, some necessary components of a healthy marriage:
Fixing problems before they turn into a volcanic eruption of frustration. It’s a precondition of being able to have rational, kind conversations. My husband did not “hear” problems until I was so upset and furious that I was packing bags, which caused its own set of problems.
Related to that, being in a culture that supports marriage without acting like you are Satan if you are having problems. My husband comes from and lives in a culture wherein people think marriage is the only thing in life that ever matters, good people don’t have failing marriages, you can never ever ever say something to indicate that your marriage is less than idyllic, etc., and it contributes to (really, causes) the above deafness. Good people who love each other can struggle in their marriages.
A man who is giving in bed and willing to learn. Yes, women should also be giving and learn what their husbands like and all that, but the biological reality is that our bad is a lot worse than their bad, and it (often, not always) takes more effort, patience, and learning for it to be good for us. Throw in pregnancy, postpartum, and nursing, and I think a lot of women feel like their bodies have gone through the wringer for the sake of their marriages, and don’t get much in return.
Anon
I agree with whomever said about 50/50, and the divorce stats prove that. I’m married to my second husband, we’ve been married for 20+ years, and while we do battle over stupid sh1t from time to time, overall I’d rate us as a happy couple.
My first marriage was right out of college and I’d say in hindsight we were both miserable but didn’t know what else to expect/ didn’t each feel we deserved better.
I’m (clearly) in my 50s now. I went to a ton of weddings in my late 20s/ early 30s, and close to half of those unions are no longer. However, I will say my single friends seem to be my happiest friends! I know a few very unhappily long-time married women (and it’s a mystery to me why they stay married) so that may distort my perspective.
Anon
Only married for 9 years and in my late 40s, but we are blissfully happy with each other and pinch ourselves every day. I attribute this to the fact that we got lucky meeting each other and neither of us was willing to settle. We married later in life too, and we both had a lot of relationship experience going into things. Other big factors, no kids and never wanted them (our only real disagreements are how we’d handle our hypothetical children’s problems, a fun car game based on issues our friends are facing) so no conflict there. We also make a lot of money so we can solve a lot of problems by “throwing money at it” (no fights over housecleaning for example). And as someone else said, we are huge talkers and best friends. We regularly date each other and connect every day for at least an hour over dinner, usually longer. I’ve said it before, but marrying someone needs to be a F^CK YES from both people and there’s no grey area. This is much easier to achieve as you get older though, I think.
Senior Attorney
Agree with your last sentence. My husband and I (five years married, also still in “pinch ourselves every day” mode) often say the difficulty level of our relationship is zero: No kids at home, plenty of money, low-stress jobs, good health. It helps! Fortunately, though, we have been tested enough (elder care, boomerang kid, scary bike accident) to know we can handle whatever life is going to throw our way in the future.
Brunette Elle Woods
Not sure if this is what you are looking for but I think a lot of problem in marriages come from poor communication and not being on the same page. I’m not married and that is in part because I always spoke my mind and was looking for a true equal partner. I dated men who said they were supportive of my career and would be a partner but push come to shove, they really weren’t. They didn’t realize that it wouldn’t just be me working and then me coming home to do all the things a stay at home wife would do. They weren’t willing to make career sacrifices to help out at home. A lot of men say one thing without actually realizing what that means. Keep your eyes open and really pay attention to the way they talk and act.
Wheels
Together 18 years and married 15: really happy together. I have a lot of respect for him and that’s key. He has been supportive of my career when than involved him taking on most household responsibilities and all the cooking, then again when a progressive disease hit me.
Of my friends, the ones with successful relationships are the ones that really like and respect each other. They put their relationship first over blood families and don’t make jokes at the other’s expense.
SSJD
“Farfetch” is right! Good name for the website selling this $3K+ blazer :)
ArenKay
Yes. Pay 3k to be a walking advertisement? No thank you.
Anonymous
I’m supposed to go on vacation next week. My company is requiring me to attend its company retreat Saturday and Sunday (8a-7p) – they just told me because they expanded the “levels” of people who are going. I can somewhat phone it in during the retreat, but I can’t work during the retreat. I unexpectedly got a ton of work dumped on me Monday/Tuesday and I’m bracing myself for not being able to resolve everything and needing to work next week. Which isn’t the end of the world, but also doesn’t really give me the break. I know I’m not the only one who has had this situation. Any tips for making vacation feel like vacation when you still need to work? (I’m staying with a friend, goal of the trip is to meet new baby)
MND
with a new baby, sleep schedule may work in your favor! If mom and baby are taking naps throughout the day (or experiencing other quiet time), I’d pull out your computer and work. At least then you’re not missing quality time with your friend!
Anonymous
Can you get out of the retreat in any way? If you’re about to visit an unvaccinated new baby, it doesn’t seem like being at a retreat just before is a good idea on top of the huge workload.
When I’ve had to workation (including several years while I was in the Caribbean and am still bitter), I try to give myself set hours (usually early in the day so I didn’t have it hanging over my head). Find out what your friend’s sleep schedule is like with the newborn. Maybe there is a late morning or afternoon naptime that would align with sneaking away.
allieoops
Please don’t use PTO if you are working! And don’t forget to count Saturday and Sunday as comp days…
Newbie vent
Y’all, I started a new job and you’d think no one knew I was coming. My computer wasn’t set up, no one really introduced themselves or invited me to lunch, and the only reason I know they didn’t totally forget they hired me is they emailed me a list of things for me to do. Everyone is flying around super busy and I just found out that one of the admins (small office) just quit. I know it’s 2022 and everyone is short staffed, but my goodness.
FormerlyPhilly
I have had this happen twice (higher ed and NGO). It’s frustrating and when I experienced it, made me question if I shouldn’t have taken the job. The irritation I have with when I had this happen in higher ed is that they were begging me to start one week earlier, which reduced the time I had between jobs. They weren’t ready for me and both they and I could have used that week.
Newbie vent
Yes! Same exact situation here! I wanted time in between and they pushed back and wanted me to start sooner. So weird.
Anon
The last new job I started I wanted to take three weeks between old job and new job. The new job place pushed me to start earlier on the same date as another new person, so I got 5 days between jobs. Then they stuck both of us in cubicles for three months with zero onboarding. My office was being built out and wasn’t ready. I asked why they hadn’t told me that and they said “you didn’t ask.”
Anon
I’ve never started a job where computer stuff was ready to go on day 1.
Anon
This seems like having an unimportant thing drive the job bus, but I’m contemplating a move to BigLaw in DC. It would be a step up in $ and I have plenty of loans to pay off. Also I have a lot of friends there (all coupled up at the moment) and it’s a bit closer to family.
What has given me pause is that I hear a lot of grumbling from some slightly older women who have moved here (SEUS city) from there who insist that DC is just full of guys who are players, that there are too many women, and that it’s rife with bad relationships (especially if you work BigLaw hours) b/c there are too many women just waiting to take your place with any guy with a good job. [If DC is that great, odd-wise for guys, the guys I know are not moving there in droves.] FWIW, I’m picking DC b/c I wouldn’t last at NYC BigLaw and Boston winters would kill me (and I’m in a regulated finance field where DC has some exit options my current city doesn’t, plus I could move back at some point).
I hate that I care about this, but I’m at the age where, a couple of years outside of school, where everyone is settling down and I don’t want to be that person who never meets the right guy b/c I’m always at work. I think I’m a good catch, but I’m also a solid 7 in a world that wants a 10. Le sigh. I am really kicking myself. And b/c my friends there are in couples already, maybe no one will help me explore socially and help me find my people (that is, if the pandemic ever ends that that resumes again). I wish I could be a summer there, but that ship sailed without me on it.
PLB
I have no advice about the DC dating scene but there is no shame in considering this when deciding whether to relocate. When I was single I absolutely thought about the potential a city had for me to meet and date men of a certain caliber because marriage was a goal of mine.
Anon
So . . . what are the cities to look at? I feel like a single guy can move anywhere and find someone. There were whole clerkships I thought about (NEED a job!) because I really thought it would be a celibate year or two. Which is so sad. And yet if you’re miserable outside of work, work is no solace even if it is the best job and pays well.
Anon
+1 I would argue that, far from being an unimportant thing to drive the job bus, that this is one of the most critical things that should shape your decision given that you’ve said you want to be married. I feel like a lot of us have been taught that it’s shamefully, embarrassing, or anti-feminist to be focused on marriage, but good lord- why shouldn’t we treat that goal with the seriousness we treat other ones?
Anon
I can’t help but think about that saying “in the long run, we only hit what we aim for.” I think it’s much better to think: is this move I’m making going to lead me toward the life I want? vs. saying after I haven’t gotten the life I wanted – ah crap, I should have made different choices. Because then, of course, it’s too late.
I think a lot of women think they’ll live their lives and manage their careers and their partner will just show up somehow, like in a rom-com. That does happen for some people, but not for everyone. Especially given the conversation above about how important it is to find the right person to marry, not just A person – if I was younger and making choices, I would choose to put myself in a situation where the right person was more likely to come along (and be ready to make a commitment, vs. endlessly searching for the next upgrade).
SF Anon
+1 million to this. Life is not Hart of Dixie. Meeting your forever person is pretty much pure luck, and the only thing you have control over is putting yourself somewhere where it’s more likely to happen. There is NOTHING wrong with that. I spent my 20’s and most of my 30’s unhappily single and aggressively dating in NYC, with so many terrible date stories and heartbreak. I was also working in BigLaw so making time for dating was difficult. Sometimes it was fun. Mostly it was miserable. But at the time I couldn’t imagine living anywhere else. In my mid-30s, I moved to the Bay Area, for a lot of reasons but in no small part because I wanted to meet someone, and heard from all of my (now-coupled) female friends that this was a much better place for that. They were right. I met my husband here and am happier than I’ve ever been. Even before I met my guy, dating here was another planet from NYC. There are plenty of issues with SF, don’t get me wrong (prohibitively expensive real estate, fires, extreme income inequality/homelessness, tech bros), but the dating scene for women is fantastic. Dating still sucks period, and there are jerks here, like everywhere else (see the aforementioned tech bros). But the thing is you don’t have to put up with the jerks; date the sweet, wonderful guys who are perpetually single because of the scarcity of women. I don’t know much about the dating scene in DC but it cannot possibly be worse than New York. I still have a bunch of single female friends back in NYC and they ask me what the “trick” is to meeting someone. My answer is pretty simple…move. My only regret in life is not leaving New York sooner.
Anon
Another +1 and plug for SF. It still took me forever to meet my husband here but that was because I didn’t want to have kids so that narrowed the pool significantly in my 20s/30s. I found the dating pool here really great overall. A bad date was never a horror story the way I heard about dating in other cities. I will say it helps to go somewhere where the culture of the area is aligned with your own political views. I’m pretty liberal so dating in SF meant meeting a lot of people who just overall aligned with me, too. And adding to the chorus of absolutely consider the dating pool in deciding to move somewhere if you’re single and want a relationship.
Anonymous
This is a big reason why my org is getting much better job candidates now that we are fully remote. Our office is in a retirement town with the worst dating pool ever, at least for people under 75.
Cat
I don’t know, switching to a higher-pressure job while moving to a city known for good chunk of its population being tr-nsient does not sound ideal for your goals…
Anon
Are you asking if there are guys in DC? Yes, tons. Are they the ones you’d like? Idk since I’m not you, but I met my husband on Tinder in 2016 and we got married 16 months later. We were 36 and 40 when we tied the knot. (Second marriage for both of us.) I think he’s pretty handsome and smart :)
PolyD
Yeah, my age group is a little older and I know a lot of single women, but I also know a good number who found their partner here in DC and are very happy. It took some work (i.e., online dating) and probably helps if you like kind of wonky, geeky guys. I know more people in the sciences and tech than law or lobbying or politics, they don’t seem like terrible player types, but I’m in a relationship so can’t give a firsthand report.
I also feel like this is a common complaint (men who want to be players instead of settle down) and I wonder if it’s really geographical or just that guys in a certain age range are less likely to want a steady relationship?
Anon
I moved to DC in my mid-twenties, not sure from your post how old you are. But I actually think it’s a great place to date as a career oriented professional. DC is full of people who really care about their jobs, so that doesn’t make you a weirdo. I also did a bunch of online dating, once before meeting a serious boyfriend and once before meeting my now-husband on Hinge, and I didn’t manage to date anyone who was an awful player. I am from New York City, and it really has seemed like a generally better experience to be dating here than in NYC. Precisely because it’s a bit more transient, and smaller, people are more open to meeting new people and you get a somewhat more earnest/settle down crowd than the truly big cities. If your friends here are coupled off, they probably still know some single people to introduce you to. I’d say go for it! But I moved here in 2012 for 2 or 3 years and am still here, so I’m biased :)
PolyD
“people are more open to meeting new people”
Although I haven’t dated in DC, I have found this to be very true for making friends. It’s still hard and takes time as an adult, but I have a much more extensive friend group than I ever did when I lived in Michigan and Illinois, and have had better luck with developing friendships than my sister has had in Chicago. I am sure some of it is personality and just plain luck, but in places like Chicago, lots of people grew up there so they have their friends from childhood and are often not interested in making new friends.
Here, people are moving in and out all the time so you have to be open to meeting and developing relationships with new people, or next thing you know, all your friends will have moved away!
anon for this
I think there’s something to the idea that smaller cities can be better for dating because there is less of a sense of unlimited options. I’m not saying it’s easy, but anecdotally, I think it is easier to get married in a place where getting married is the norm. (Though, related to the above discussion, it’s fine to have marriage as a goal, but you should still seek a good partner and not get married for the sake of it).
Anon
I’m a bit late, but in case you see this, here’s what I’d say. I’ve lived in a LOT of different cities (Boston, NYC, Philly & DC, though DC for the longest), and DC is often seen as a “company town” – a political town. I worked on the hill (and climbed the ladder), and I would say within THAT SPECIFIC CIRCLE, that’s true. Everyone in politics makes too little money, drinks way too much, and cocaine and drug use is not uncommon. Cheating is the norm, not the exception. For both genders. I’ve seen a few too many relationships in that business where both parties are well aware of the cheating, and stay anyway, for a variety of reasons, often professional and financial. However, that’s not the majority of people in DC. Just because the Hill Staffer/WH Staffer/Political Campaign type is super duper toxic (they are – stay away – when they grow up and are ready for a real relationship, they’ve likely moved to a different job) doesn’t mean most guys in DC are. Sure, are there a ton of Deloitte bros? For sure. They’re not necessarily player though – just love a fleece vest.
Foster Mom
Has anyone here fostered children before who would be willing to provide input?
For context, we do not have bio kids and do not intend to ever have bio kids, this is non negotiable. We own an urban house with two guest rooms in the best school district in the city (which is actually good, we don’t live in a place people use private schools). We’d be open to one child or a pair of siblings, they’d have their own bedroom(s) but have to share a bathroom. The kid(s) would be able to walk to school/friends/activities. We’d be trying to give the kid(s) a typical middle class upbringing: sports, art class, dance, video games, whatever they’re interested in. We aren’t going into this with the intent to adopt, just to give a good life for as long as they need. However, we have two concerns that the agency will hold it against us that we’re atheist and I am not a SAHM. If it matters DH grew up in a religious household so we could sufficiently fake it need be.
Kat G
fyi – we had a guest poster on CMoms write about her foster parent experience…. https://corporettemoms.com/what-its-like-to-be-a-foster-parent-as-a-working-mom/
Anon
You don’t have to be a SAHM or religious to be a foster parent.
Anonymous
I read somewhere that MOST foster parents are religious — but that it means many LGBTQ kids don’t get picked, or get picked by families who want to change them. I think the world NEEDS more non-religious foster parents.
Foster Mom
We would love to foster LGBTQ children! It’s definitely a niche we’d be happy to fill.
Anon
“Most foster parents are religious” is a very different statement than “you have to be religious to be a foster parent.”
There are self-selection effects in play, but that doesn’t mean it’s a requirement. Foster care is a government service. They legally cannot discriminate against atheists.
Anon
I know a Nice White Lady who is also a SAHM and very rich who has one bio child and otherwise her purpose in life is to be a good foster parent, which the world desperately needs more of. To date, she has rubbed off on one of her friends. I do not recall her having any issues re religion (that is more with adoption agencies, which can be private) but the racial angle has actually been a hurdle (that she has overcome; one of her adopted daughters was a foster who became a foster-to-adopt and from then it was easier).
Older kids at risk of aging out are just cut loose when they age out. Can you imagine being 18 and being basically out on the street with no family? That is what happens to a lot of kids in our state. There is a local charity that helps, but it is a bandaid. Maybe older kids as their need is very acute and the runway for them is short?
Foster Mom
Older kids is something we’d be interested in since we have a lot of connections to help with education and career. We wouldn’t kick them out at 18 and would continue to support them if they want us to.
Anonymous
Don’t use a religious foster agency then? I’d start by simply taking a class on foster parenting put on by your state.
Anon
The foster care system is run through your county government, so religion cannot be a factor, and I can tell you from experience that they don’t care about you working. There is such a shortage of foster parents that the bar is very, very, very low. I’m only aware of a few jurisdictions that contract out foster services to private agencies.
The world of fostering and adoption is…one that will break you emotionally. Four years into it and we’re changed in ways I cannot describe. I remember sitting in your shoes and thinking that I was one tough cookie and that I had enough money and resources and intelligence to throw at whatever problems a child might have, but that hasn’t been enough. You will love the kids and hate their trauma behaviors and then give them up to go back into a hot mess bio family and just hope that the love and stability you were able to provide while they were with you is enough to sustain them for whatever their future holds.
More than the school district, more than your resources, you need to study trauma behaviors. Karyn Purvis is the end all, be all – she wrote The Connected Child and The Connected Parent. Start there. They’ll go over all this with you during the training and licensing (which takes forever and will drive you nuts) but you’ll need more than that, so read everything you can get your hands on.
Anon
What struck me when I read your comment is that there’s much more to parenting, especially for older children, than just providing a safe, secure environment and the trappings of a “typical middle-class upbringing.” Yes, what you’re talking about providing is more than these kids have now, but to really be a parent, there is a lot of hands-on emotional support, boundary-setting, and guidance you’d have to provide. In addition to dealing with their trauma, as Anon at 3:27 says. If you have a big job that takes up a lot of your emotional bandwidth, consider that this would be like adding another job (or two) on top of whatever you’re already doing. The kids would be there all the time, and the younger they are, the more time of yours they will require. It’s especially complex because they’re likely to have significant emotional needs from whatever they’ve experienced before they get to you. If you foster teenagers, they don’t want to spend time with you but they need you to be on the ball all the time so they don’t get into significant trouble.
I think more than the religious question, or the fact that you’re not a SAHM, will be the question of – why do you want to foster parent? I am re-reading your post and not sure I understand it myself. What are you hoping to get from the experience and what are you hoping to give to the child that’s put into your care, beyond sports teams and music lessons? And, are you ready for this to completely upend the life you have with your spouse, in ways that you probably can’t predict or anticipate right now? I know folks who have been foster parents and they found it very rewarding, but also very exhausting. How will you manage your time, energy and schedule with a high-needs child in your home? I think those are the questions you’ll get asked.
anon
I had the same question. There is a lot more to parenting, and foster parenting, than giving kids a nice middle class life.
Anon
I agree. The tone of this post is “I’m wealthy and I want to share that wealth with under-privileged kids” which is certainly a nice sentiment, but is not something you achieve by foster parenting. If that’s your goal, you should just donate lots of money to charities. You only foster parent if you want to actually…be a parent. Which involves a lot more than just buying your kids a comfortable lifestyle.
Anonymous
I’ll clarify, neither of us have ‘big jobs’ we work 35 h/week each but we earn enough to pass the ‘upper class’ threshold for our city. We’re interested in doing it because we want to give back. Both of our jobs are entirely focused on doing good as well. We have resources and could assist an overburdened system. DH has a lot of first hand contact with the system through his job so he is able to directly see the goings on. I have no doubt it will upend our lives completely.
Anon
From what you have written, fostering is the wrong track for you to ‘give back’. This isn’t like a community food bank. You are taking on a human life. It’s much more than just providing resources and assistance, but about connection, guidance, emotional support, caretaking.
That said, resources and assistance ARE needed, so for sure you could find somewhere else to put your energy that also involves working with kids.
Anonymous
As the biological parent of a special-needs child whose needs are nowhere near as great as those of many foster kids, I urge you to ask yourself whether you really have what it takes to parent a child with a lot of needs with the knowledge that the end goal is to send the child back into the situation that created those needs in the first place. Parenting just one child with garden-variety special needs very nearly broke me, my marriage, and my career. Foster parenting would be well beyond my capacity. There are people who are called to do the work of foster parenting and given the gifts to succeed, but they are few and far between.
Anon
THIS. Parenting has added a lot of joy to my life and I don’t regret having a child, but parenting my mildly special needs kiddo has taken an enormous toll on my career and marriage. And my child’s needs are NOTHING compared to what the average kid in the foster care system needs. Even many of my friends with easy, neurotypical kids say they vastly underestimated the toll parenting would have on their jobs and relationships. If you become a foster parent you need to go into it with the mindset that you are becoming parents, not that you’re helping a child out temporarily by providing them a safe and comfortable place to live for a few months.
Anon
I’ve noticed from the two people I know who foster that having a predictable and flexible work schedule is key (if you work; one mom does not, the other drives a school bus, so she can get a sub if she needs to and has summers and school vacations off (so her schedule lines up 100% with a kid’s — as a parent of vanilla kids, I did not really appreciate this b/c my mom taught school and I am a lawyer — we are both “working moms” but the juggle is different when school is closed)). Also, some cultures are very broadly supportive of this — if you know people already who are raising their nieces/nephews/cousins, they likely get this and will be good resources to you as you go through the process. And no judgment if you take an off-ramp. You can still donate to worthy causes that help out these kids (summer camp scholarships, aging-out stipends, etc.) or be a guardian ad litem or otherwise be a helper and an ally and an advocate.
Anon 2.0
Interestingly, there are a few good Tik Tokers who talk about their foster parent experience. Tik Tok is my guilty pleasure and I somehow found myself down this rabbit hole but was very intrigued. I’d just search foster parent on there. Obvs, not everyone is spreading good info but there seem to be some who are using the app as a learning tool for those interested in fostering.
Anony
I don’t think religion and being a SAHM really matters that much (at all). I had a friend from college who was single, worked full time, and still fostered 2 teenage girls, by herself. She ended up adopting them a few years later.
Anon
Please just go in with your eyes open. I have two friends who did fos-adopt, and while they would never say adopting their now-beloved kids was a mistake, both families would tell you it was a lot harder that what you seem to be imagining. Kids who have been kicked around the foster system or removed from their parents at any age have not escaped unscathed, and they are not necessarily the “noble poor” a lot of people love to imagine. We are talking about fetal drug use, childhood sexual trauma, the gamut. Please just be aware that as good as your intentions are, you know what you’re getting into and are prepared for this to disrupt your life in a major way, because the last thing these kids need is another home they get kicked out of.
Anon
I searched prior threads and found a couple of recos but would love more!
Going to Disneyland, California with my 2 kids (aged 10 and 6) on Presidents day weekend. Have very little familiarity with Disney so any and all advice is welcome. My older kid is into Star Wars and both like Harry Potter, so I am leaning towards at least one day at Universal and one day at disney.
– Where to stay? Pros and cons of staying within Disney (I know you get earlier access but it’s more expensive?) Or consider Airbnbs?
– Buy a fastpass ahead of time?
– Book tickets online ahead of time?
– Book one sit down meal for lunch and wing it the rest of the time?
Any other advice on what to do or what to avoid? I am generally on the more frugal side but this seems like an occasion to not sweat it and pay up for the premium experience?
Anon
Like…this weekend? Or are you planning a whole year ahead?
Cat
you’re going this weekend and don’t have lodging yet?! I mean, Disney always sounds awful to me because of the detailed planning required, so in a way I admire your approach… but it’s an expensive day to have literally nothing planned yet!
FWIW I think Disney property guests get earlier access to the park.
Anon
I just looked and there’s literally only one DisneyWorld hotel that has availability at all for this weekend…so hopefully OP is planning way in advance.
Anon
Although I see she means CA, so maybe that one is easier for last-minute trips?
Anonymous
I’m sorry what? You haven’t booked and it’s in 3 days? You stay where ever you can get in and wing it. Insanity.
Anon
You need to book everything ASAP for Disneyland. The parks require reservations right now, and they literally sell out. You probably will not have many options.
Anonymous
Assuming that you are going this weekend:
1) Do not book a sit down meal at all. It’s just a waste of time and it’s hard to get reservations.
2) Disney and Universal are not close to each other, so figure out housing based on that.
3) Definitely book tickets and fastpasses ahead of time. Disney has a new fastpass system called Genie+. The blog Trips With Tykes has amazing guidance on how to make it work.
4) You probably should not do a park hopper – just get tickets to Disneyland. Prioritize the Star Wars stuff. You will need to research this.
5) At Universal, consider the VIP experience, which friends have highly recommended.
Have fun!
Anonymous Canadian
I did the Universal VIP experience with my then 10-year-old. I am not a park person but it was FANTASTIC. Tres expensive but HIGHLY recommend.
Anonymous
I think you are going to have to stay outside the park unless you are willing to pay $$$$ but there are plenty of hotels available within a few miles of Disneyland.
Anon
If you’re talking about this weekend that is not a lot of time to plan, but Disneyland/Universal Studios Hollywood are “locals” parks much more than Disney World so you might be able to get by with less advance planning.
One thing you need to lock down *now* is park tickets — since the pandemic started Disney requires you to reserve the exact day you’re visiting in advance and if there’s no availability for your dates (which is possible with the holiday weekend) you’re not going to Disneyland.
There’s no *real* advantage to staying on property anymore except you get into the parks a little early. Honestly I wouldn’t stay on property.
Fast pass is technically gone– it’s been replaced with Disney Genie Plus which costs money ($10/day per person or something). Going on a holiday weekend you should definitely cough up the money, annoying as it is. You can’t reserve the “lightning lane” (AKA new Fast Pass) until the day-of, though you should buy the Genie Plus option when you buy your tickets.
You probably won’t have much (or any) restaurant availability this close to the trip for a sit down meal but if you do want to try and make it happen you definitely need to book in advance. Heads up all the “good” sit down restaurants are probably completely booked already.
For both Disney and Universal, to avoid holiday crowds you’ll want to arrive a half hour before the park opens. The crowds get worse the later in the day it is, even if your family is not morning people it’s 100% worth it to get there right when the park opens.
Anonymous
If you’re going this weekend, Disneyland and Disney California Adventure are completely sold out.
Anon
If you’re talking about going this coming weekend, I agree with others that it’s a bit late. I’m not sure you’re going to be able to score tickets.
Generally speaking, we’ve stayed in the park and outside the park. The park hotels are great but $$$$$ and you can have a very nice experience staying at a cheaper place walking distance or a shuttle ride away from the park. We like the Marriott that has a shuttle, but that’s mainly because I have lots of Marriott status and points.
We go at least once a year, sometimes more often. It’s crowded. Mornings and evenings are the best times for rides. Especially if you want to go on a more popular ride, go during the evening shows unless you want to see those. If you’re more into the parades and the shows, you’ll have to spend some time staking out your spot and waiting.
I’ve done the sit down meals and don’t think they’re worth it. My favorite places to eat are casual eateries like the Jolly Holiday bakery, the mexican cantina in Frontierland, and the Rose cafe near Snow White’s ride. Lots of people also like Pizza Planet in Tomorrowland.
If your kids are into characters, get the schedule (nothing at Disney is random, everything is on a set schedule), buy them an autograph book each, and wait in line for the meet and greet. Do not think you’re going to randomly get great pics with characters by chance – they walk around with handlers who will be fake-friendly but will generally keep them moving to their destination and will not pause for your pic (because otherwise that’s all they’d be able to do.) The big popular characters are the princesses and Mickey. You might be able to see someone like Mary Poppins or Aladdin randomly but not Cinderella or Ariel.
I don’t think Disney’s covid precautions are great so you have to assume this risk, which I know everyone feels differently about. They’ve just dropped their masking requirement so that’s going to keep me away for a while. (Not that they were super good about enforcing it to begin with)
I messed up, help
I’m late 20s/early 30s. Please be nice and help me unwind this mistake. I took some bad financial advice from a coworker and opened a Roth IRA this weekend through my bank online. It was very easy to do and I contributed the yearly max for last year because I’m feeling behind on my retirement contributions. Doing more research this week (yes, I should have known to do that first) it seems that I’m not eligible because I am over the income limit. Yet the account is open and showing as funded in my dashboard. I realize this is a stupid question but what do I do now? Am I stuck paying a penalty to withdraw those funds back to my general savings account? Should I just leave them? Thanks for any suggestions.
Senior Attorney
Can you convert it to a traditional IRA? Talk to the bank — I bet they can help you.
Anonymous
You can fix this! Go to the IRS website and search Recharacterization of IRA Contributions. You could recharacterize it as a traditional IRA contribution, and then if your income is high enough to make you ineligible for the deduction, you’ll need to fill out form 8606 when you file your taxes for that year.
Anonymous
call them!! I’ve done this before and my income rose during the year to make me not eligible. The financial entity can pull out your contributions “recharacterize the contributions” I think is what it’s called and right the ship.
Anon
Are you sure you’re over the limit? You can reduce your AGI by contributing to a 401k, FSA, health insurance, etc.
Anon
Yes, AGI is very different than salaries. In 2021 our combined salaries were $165k. Our AGI was under $90k.
Taylor
I just realized that I have money I can use for a professional development course AND just sort of got tapped on the shoulder for a leadership course – any suggestions for what courses to take? I’m based in NYC although I don’t know if that matters since I doubt anything is in person.