For busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional.
This shadow houndstooth suit is a bestseller at J.Crew (AND on sale today), and I think it’s great — the pencil skirt and blazer would both be great as separates but I also think they look nice together. In fact, if I were traveling for work I might bring a black suit and this one and then mix and match the pieces with different accessories. There’s a matching Going Places dress with that interesting crop detail. The pieces were $118–$248 but are now marked to $89–$185 today. Alas, although J.Crew has been increasing their size range considerably lately (with lots of sizes up to 24), this suit is only available in sizes 00–16.
This “sparking constellation tweed” suit at J.Crew is very similar and does come up to size 24; if you like the houndstooth but want something more affordable, Talbots has lucky sizes left of a stretch houndstooth jacket for $63, with matching pants for $40.
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Workwear sales of note for 9.29.23:
- Nordstrom – 28,000 markdowns, and big beauty sale!
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off all sale styles
- Athleta – 25% off for members, 20% off core
- Banana Republic – Up to 40% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – 40% off everything + extra 20% off purchase
- Brooks Brothers – Extra 25% off women’s clearance (ends Monday 10/2) – some great basics on wool suits for women
- The Fold – Mid-season sale, up to 40% off!]
- J.Crew – Extra 60% off select sale styles, 30% off fall styles, and 30% off men’s and boys’ suiting
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 50% off everything
- M.M.LaFleur – Sale on sale, extra 10% off
- Reiss – Mid-season sale, up to 50% off
- Talbots – 25% off your entire purchase
- Theory – Friends + Family sale, 25% off sitewide
- Ulta – Fall Haul Event, up to 40% off (ends 9/30)
- Zappos – 18,500+ markdowns for women!
Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
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- What are some of your go-to outfits that feel current?
- I need more activities that are social, easy to learn and don’t involve extreme running/jumping/etc.
Panda Bear
I wanted to love this jacket. The fit and cut were as expected for the ‘going out’ style, and I loved the navy color and Chanel-esque fringe, but the metallic threads are too sparkly for my normal workwear. I am debating keeping it for literally going out, though.
Is it Friday yet?
Counterpoint, I have the full suit and love it and have worn it to work several times. It is sparkly, yes, but I don’t think it’s too much so for work (personal preference, to be fair). I also like that the fabric doesn’t really wrinkle so you can throw it in a bag to change into if you go to the gym or something on the way to work.
pink
I have just the jacket and didn’t find the metallic too much at all… ordering the skirt now!
Anonymous
Advice on how to talk to a friend about a guy she set me up with. Friend is super excited about the fact that I’ve been on a few dates with her husband’s friend. She’s basically ready to plan our wedding.
I like the guy a lot but I’m starting to get the impression that he’s not looking for anything serious or maybe isn’t that into me. He took the initiative to ask me out and he always seems excited to see me; he’s kind and funny and a ton of fun and total gentleman when we’re together. But he’s never planned in advance where to go or what to do. There’s almost no contact between dates. He seems sort of reserved unless he’s drinking. He also hasn’t asked me out for another date – I asked when I could see him again and he vaguely said “sometime next weekend” but he didn’t offer a day before he went out of the country for work (and isn’t reachable). My weekend is filling up so we likely won’t get together anytime soon. I’d be open to hanging out again sometime in the future but I’m tempering my expectations.
I have plans with friend this week and I know she’s going to ask all the questions about how it’s going with this guy. I also know she’ll tell her husband and perhaps this guy anything I say to her. How can I politely deflect?
Lily
Maybe use it as an opportunity to get some intel instead? You could just be honest… I like him, not sure he’s looking for anything serious, but definitely open to continue seeing him. Then see if you find anything out or maybe he will broach the subject himself?
Monday
I’ve done this kind of thing as an adult before, but don’t recommend it. His actions speak for themselves, and playing telephone with people close to him could get really uncomfortable. It will also just encourage OP’s friend to get even more involved.
Anon
I would be vague but honest. “It’s been fun getting to know him, but it doesn’t really seem like he’s looking for anything serious, so I’m not making more of it than it is.” or something like that.
DCR
If I heard that is the friend, I would think that the person saying it wasn’t that into the guy. I think the fear there is that it gets back to the guy is OP isn’t that into you but willing to see you casually.
OP
You’ve touched on part of my concern – the telephone effect. Friend is going to repeat her interpretation of what I say, probably with some well meaning embellishments. What message finally gets to the guy, and how he interprets it, is sort of anyone’s guess. I think I want to err on the side of being mostly positive because I don’t want to come off as insecure or have friend badger the guy into being attentive. But I also don’t want friend to scare the guy off by telling him that I’m naming our first child or something.
Anon
Then you need to tell her that she’s set you up, you’ve gone on dates, and now, she needs to butt out.
(I met my husband through a mutual friend who badgered us into meeting… and then kept her mouth shut.)
Monday
+1, this is a good script. You shouldn’t be subject to pressure or 20 questions when the problem is him–but that can happen with setups. If she presses (sounds like she will!) you could say you’re interested but just want to see where it goes naturally. I’d avoid the specific data points about his lack of initiative because they’re not up for review among your friend, her husband, and the guy.
780
Assuming this is true, which it sounds like it is, I would tell her that you like the guy based on your few dates but that you get the sense that he isn’t into you because he doesn’t reach out between dates, doesn’t plan them in advanced, etc. Assuming that gets back to the guy, there seems to be two possible outcomes: 1, he says he isn’t that into you. That sucks but at least you would now. Or 2, he figures that he needs to express more interest because he’s really into you. That seems like the best outcome.
Anonymous
This.
Cat
I like this strategy.
Anon
This is a really good approach. It tempers her expectations and is upfront without placing blame on either party.
Anon
I don’t know, it seems to be placing blame squarely on the guy for not being in contact more frequently between dates. Not that it’s bad to place blame on him, necessarily, I just don’t think it’s as neutral a statement as you suggest.
Anon
That’s not “blame” in the pejorative sense.
Monday
I can’t really picture him directly telling the couple that he doesn’t like their friend. People will bend over backwards to avoid situations like that. I think Possibility 3 is that he says “no, I like her!” but then continues acting exactly the same way, leaving her in the same position.
Anon
I guess this depends on the people. I’ve had friends tell me they were not in to others I introduced them to. Seems better than pretending and lying to your friends.
fdsa
If you want to try a different direction – say I like him, but we’ve only been out a few times. I don’t want to queer anything by talking about it with people who know him independently. Although I really like Lily’s script, if you feel comfortable with it.
LaurenB
I’ve never heard queer used that way as a verb. Is that a new usage? (serious, not sarcastic)
Anonymous
No, that’s a very old usage. I think I’ve seen it mainly in writing from . . . the 1800s? Maybe early 1900s?
Anonymous
I married someone after being set up by a busybody coworker (basically only agreed to the date so she would quit pushing me to go out with him). We agreed on the second date not to tell her about future dates. She didn’t find out we were still seeing each other until 3 months later when she was the first outside our family to be told we were engaged. Relationships are hard enough to go through with two people yet alone three or more. Maybe see if he’ll agree to saying it was nice but just wasn’t sure it was a match and you can relieve any external pressure?That will at least buy more time to do well or fizzle all on its own. At a certain point grownups don’t want to play telephone, and everyone should get that.
Abby
I’ve been working my current job for 1.5 years, and have disliked it the entire time with a ton of red flags/toxic behaviors: most notably an incident last summer where the bosses took the one male assistant golfing, and let us women go ~get our nails done~. Two weeks ago I got a job offer but said I had another final interview that was my first choice.
Wellllll that company just called me today and gave me an official offer of a base salary that is more than double my current salary now!! I didn’t even negotiate (bad I know but I was shocked) and HR is sending over my benefits package and offer letter to sign. I am over the fricking moon, and don’t truly believe it. My current work situation got worse two weeks ago when a boss yelled at me for taking a break from work to browse the internet for 10 minutes, and I stopped visiting this site. I am actually really nervous to quit, but also looking forward to never working with my problematic team EVER again. I just had to share!!!
SSJD
Congrats!! Be professional, tie up loose ends, and move on. You deserve a new start.
Anon
Hooray!! Congrats!
Anonymous
YAY! Did you post on AAM? This sounds familiar. Congrats!
Abby
I posted the golf incident on here actually. I wasn’t sure if I should say anything (I ended up not) and more problems have occurred since then. I also posted here when I got the other job offer, so it might sound familiar!
Any tips on quitting professionally would be VERY helpful!!
Minnie Beebe
Congratulations!!
First, be prepared to be shown out the door immediately after giving your notice. Copy any personal data from your work computer to a thumb drive (including contacts, assuming you won’t get in trouble for this), delete stuff you need to delete, etc. In addition to writing a letter to your boss letting him know of your last day, it would be good to also have a list of projects you’ve been working on, with current status, key contacts, anything useful whoever would be picking up the work might need to know (location of files, etc.) Do this all before you even set up the meeting with your boss.
In your meeting, simply deliver the news and offer to help transition your work to others as soon as possible. “I’ve accepted a new job and my last day is ___…” This is not a time to air your grievances.
Send out an email to co-workers on your last day, sharing bland untruths about what a joy its been working with them all, and so on. And enjoy walking out the door for the last time. It really is the BEST feeling.
(And if you can take a few days or a week off in between, do it!)
Cat
I’d slightly amend this advice, to say that you don’t need to have a list of projects and other transition info in-hand at the time you resign. That’s a polite and professional thing to do during your notice period. If your company asks resigning people to leave immediately, they’ve waived the right to be annoyed at the lack of smooth transition IMHO…
and congrats!
Cat
Why did my above comment go to m0d? I am getting perplexed – half of my posts show immediately, the other half are stuck, and I don’t see any suspicious words or phrases??
perplexed
At one point, I think anything with the name “k a t” or “c a t” or “e t t e” would be flagged immediately and go into mod. That was years ago, but maybe your user name is flagging something similar?
Anon
Congratulations!!!
anon
Congratulations! Love to hear a happy ending.
Vicky Austin
Woooooohooo! Isn’t this the manager and buds who were all drinking beer a while back? Good riddance!
MargotMcKinley
Congratulations! I left a toxic job in the fall and just landed in a perfect spot. Don’t be afraid to block the prior colleagues on Linked In. I wish I had done it sooner…. Good luck in this new chapter!!
Anonymous
Several years ago, I left a job at a small office that was made toxic by one terrible senior associate. I’ve seen terrible dude around town and I’ve always been polite in a “just so busy gotta run!” kind of way. Terrible dude friended (or whatever you call it) me and another former coworker on LinkedIn. Neither of us has responded. What would you do? Leave him in friend request purgatory? Or should I accept?
Cat
it’s LinkedIn, not facebook. I’d accept him. Never know if there will be a mutual connection that comes in handy…
Anonymous
This.
Anon
Plus you can unfollow people on LinkedIn, too, if you don’t want to see his name or face pop up.
HR
This
Rainbow Hair
Purgatory. What do you stand to gain from adding / lose from ignoring? Guy was a jerk, and I think you should feel free to avoid him online just as much as IRL. #BanAllIckyCoworkers
Anon
I personally wouldn’t add a toxic person like this. LinkedIn is not Facebook and I certainly add people who aren’t my friends or even people I find vaguely annoying or unpleasant. But it sounds like this guy was much worse than just “not a friend” and I would just straight up reject him.
Anon
Kind of random, but has anyone by chance been to Rangiroa or Tikehau? We are celebrating a milestone anniversary soon and we honeymooned in Bora Bora/Moorea and like the idea of going back to French Polynesia for nostalgia reasons, but would like to visit different islands this time. Tikehau came up a lot in searches for good snorkeling in that region, and Rangiroa is a logical place to combine with it because of geography and flight schedules. Curious if anyone has been and what your experience was, especially in comparison to Bora Bora or Moorea if you’ve been there too.
anon
Pretend that you’re going bowling with coworkers. What would you wear for such an occasion? I don’t feel comfortable wearing jeans around my colleagues but that’s probably the answer, right?
Allie
Yes, of course, jeans and a sweater or tee shirt.
gil
Most people will wear jeans. How do you feel about cords or woven cloth pants? I think skirts and dresses would get in the way. Most outfits at unefemme.net would probably work for bowling, if you want to dress a degree more formally than jeans. (Skip the dangling necklaces when bowling though!).
anon
I have some cords that would probably work. I just really hate this particular type of dressing: smart casual, but still needs to be comfortable for the activity at hand. If I were a dude, I’d probably wear khakis and a quarter-zip sweater or something.
gil
heh. That’s basically my work dress code so I’m full of ideas. When I run into trouble is when I have to dress more formally – it’s completely outside of my wheelhouse.
Anon
Khakis and a quarter-zip sweater sounds pretty overdressed for bowling, at least to me. Even with coworkers.
Anonymous
Yes obviously
BB
+1 to just wear jeans, but if you don’t want to, you can go with some ankle pants.
Monday
Something like that, probably. I’d take into account bowling shoes and doing a lot of leaning forward in your decision.
TrixieRuby
Jeans, or casual pants that make your butt look as good as it gets. A nice tee shirt, not a unisex tee shirt, but a tee shirt cut for a women, on the ling side as it will slide up as you bowl. Nice socks that match your pants, cuz bowling shoes. Nice earrings, maybe a watch or bangle, and that’s it!
Anon
Jeez, it’s a work event, not a date.
Rainbow Hair
I think you’d be fine in a long-ish dress if that’s more comfortable for you. I would consider a knee (or below the knee) length dress + a sweater or some such… especially if I were planning on doing more shmoozing than bowling.
Anon
I would be really hesitant to wear a dress bowling! I think it has the potential to work out very badly unless you, like, practice bowling in it beforehand.
Rainbow Hair
I live in dresses and I’d do it, but I’d be completely fine with sacrificing my bowling abilities to avoid any scandal (:
Anon
Obviously jeans. Your coworkers are just normal people, there’s nothing weird about them seeing you in jeans. Do you think they think you sleep in a suit or something?
LaurenB
Yeah, I’m not getting this. Jeans are appropriate for the activity at hand, therefore they are appropriate in front of your coworkers. Even in the height of Dress-for-Success in the 1980s, this was true.
TheElms
Is it that you don’t want to wear jeans specifically or is it that you are a skirt/dress person and don’t typically wear pants. If its the former, just wear any pants you feel comfortable in. If its the latter, I think an a-line skirt or dress (better if it has some stretch) would be fine. I’ve bowled in both at work events ( combo of poor planning on my part and not knowing ahead of time what the planned activity was).
Anonymous
Poodle skirt and saddle shoes. If you have a letterman’s sweater top it off with that. FTW.
Z
The best answer.
Anon
Can anyone recommend a legal recruiter in the Minneapolis area, either for in-house or law firm positions? I am relocating to the Twin Cities from New York and would like to get a sense of the salary range for that market (relative to NYC) for a lawyer with 8+ years experience.
STP
No advice about your question, but I’ve lived in the twin cities for the last six years and absolutely love it here! So much great food and interesting culture!
Squid
Two weeks ago I sent an evite to my team (13 ppl) inviting them to my house to watch the Superbowl. So far, one person has responded. Should I send a followup email or assume they’re not interested? It’s fine either way I just need to know how much food to make.
Anon
Send a follow up. They owe you the courtesy of a response even if they’re not coming.
TrixieRuby
Many people want to watch the Super Bowl with their friends, drink too much, swear at the TV, and really let their hair down. It is hard to do this with work colleagues. As no one has responded, I would take this as an awkward situation, and cancel the event, trying for another time to have people over, if you so wish. I could be wrong, but that is what I suspect, especially if you live in a Super Bowl city and people are super excited.
Cat
Yep. Or they go the other way — they really don’t care about the Super Bowl and the idea of being forced to pay attention to the whole game, stay up and watch the whole thing, etc, is not at all appealing. Combine that with having to hang out with your coworkers on a Sunday and… nice gesture but I would not be looking forward to this party. Sorry.
anon
Yes, this. I can’t even muster enough enthusiasm for a casual friend’s SB party. I find it painfully boring, I do not care about the game even a little bit, the commercials are not a draw anymore, velveeta makes my stomach hurt, etc. I faked it for a long time but I just can’t anymore.
Anon
Bur can’t you RSVP? Even if it’s with a white lie (“sorry I have other plans that day!”) it seems so much less rude than ignoring an invite.
Cat
Oh, the lack of RSVP is frustrating. And unfortunately very common. But in the OP’s shoes, I’d take “lack of RSVPs” to mean “your team isn’t eager to come, but worried they’ll hurt your feelings by saying no, and so the result is not responding and hoping it goes away.”
LaurenB
Ditto. My strategy for the Super Bowl is to pretend it doesn’t exist, which works out really well because my spouse doesn’t care. We’re suffered through enough parties where we have to fake enthusiasm for a sport we care nothing about and which bores us to tears, and where we can’t even have a decent conversation bc people are into the game; we are past giving any f’s on this. (Which is not to say people who enjoy SB parties shouldn’t enjoy them fully – to each her own!)
Anon
My experience with a similar situation is that they are not ignoring your invite entirely but are still working on finding something else to do. You will then get a bunch of texts on Sunday apologizing for not coming and that they had plans to do x instead, though the plans to do x probably only came up on Sunday.
Anon
+1 They don’t want to come. I don’t like hanging out with my coworkers outside of work. Cancel it.
Rainbow Hair
We were invited to a SB party through work — my boss’s spouse and I are friends — and we declined to go because I Do Not Care and husband Very Much Cares and so neither of us are likely to have a great time. He wants to get a little drunk and yell at the TV, and I want to completely ignore the game and just eat things w buffalo sauce. I like them, and would happily go to their place for a bbq, but not for this event.
Anonymous
I want to be at your super bowl event–sounds like the perfect way to do it…
LaurenB
I think the reason she hasn’t gotten RSVPS is that the invitees are thinking through – should they lie and say “thanks but I have another SB party that I already committed to” (running the risk that they’ll be queried on how they enjoyed the Big Game – or should they just say they have other plans, and run the risk of big SB people not comprehending that yes, there are people who don’t care about the SB.
Anonymous
Can’t you just casually ask them as you see them? Do people only communicate electronically anymore.
Anonymous
I think most of these responses are assuming you’re the boss. If you are, I 100% agree that you should probably assume that no rsvp means they were uncomfortable saying no. If you are a peer, a single follow up is probably ok — and you should do that pretty quickly because the one person who said yes will want to make other plans if you cancel.
Anon
Agreed!
If you are my boss, I am not going to your house for the SB.
If you are my peer and sent me an evite during the work day, ask me again in person: I may have just forgotten since this was obviously not a STAT work issue.
Anon
I posted in November about having invited my mother to come up for Thanksgiving. It was… well, about what I expected.
She insulted my apartment, my furniture, my carpet, my husband’s car, and my body. (Direct quote: “Your stomach needs its own ZIP code!” in reference to my pregnancy.) Her aunt (who loathes my mother but gets along very well with me) gifted me a beautiful set of Wedgwood dessert plates for my wedding; my mother got mad when I pulled them out and made rude remarks about them.
She didn’t raise me – she actually took off when I was a baby to “enjoy her youth,” and left my father holding the bag. (If she were a man, people would rightly call her a deadbeat dad or a sp-rm donor.) She never went to a single school event, sporting meet, or even to be with me at the hospital when I was sick.
She told me in a condescending tone that we “need to talk” because my father “poisoned” me against her, and that is why we have a bad relationship.
Over Thanksgiving, she also said that I should be mad at my father, who paid for my Ivy-equivalent school, because he tried to get her to own up to her portion of the child support agreement and help pay for my education. (She actually told me to not bother going to college and just marry a rich guy.) He waived child support on the condition that she pay half my education; she refused, told him to sue her, and said that she was judgement-proof. I have not said anything to her on the subject, and have profusely thanked my father numerous times over the years.
Not sure if I’m venting or looking for advice. She wants to know why I haven’t spoken to her since (in an email signed “Mommy,” for extra infantalization and guilt); I’m not sure if it’s even worthwhile to explain to someone that narcissistic. “You have the maternal instinct of roadkill” isn’t exactly productive, ya know?
Anon
I’m so sorry you ended up with a mother like that. I’m glad your father stepped up, and hope you had other women in your life you looked up to who maybe partially filled that void in your life.
Vicky Austin
As hard and sad as it is to give up your hope that one day she’ll see your side, narcissists don’t do that. I’m really sorry. I have a dear friend with a narcissist mother who has spoken about the difficulty of the process of grieving the mother you wish you had had. Hugs, resiliency and good luck to you.
Vicky Austin
Oops, resilience.
anon
this. What’s pretty clear to me is that you can’t expect her to change or to own her mistakes or apologize. And it seems like you don’t expect these things, so that’s you taking good care of your health.
My logical consequence would probably to break off contact. If you are considering this, know that based on what you wrote, you would be totally justified in doing so. When it comes to actually doing it, a therapist could probably deliver more advice on whether to explain to her why you’re cutting contact, or whether explanations will just invite more abuse. And going through the transition is probably better with some counseling, too. But ultimately, it sounds like you don’t owe this person anything, so do what’s best for your health and focus on people that love and support you.
Anon
That’s rough. I’m sorry. Your mother sounds awful and I don’t think you have any obligation to her given the circumstances. Do what’s best for you.
Anon
I’m sorry about your situation. I don’t have advices myself but the blog Captain Awkward has touched on variations of that situation and has very thoughtful advices.
Anon
Thanks, all.
I think, at a minimum, that I have to tell her that she isn’t welcome in my home. (There were other issues, such as rifling through my cabinets looking for presents she had given me, then interrogating me as to where things were that she gave me literally 15 years ago. I had to answer for the non-presence of a teapot that I lost in an interstate move back in 2010. I kid you not.)
Mostly, I think she knows she’s doing this but thinks she’s a clever little one who can get away with it.
Anonymously
Would love some thoughts/advice about my current work situation. I joined my company about one year and three months ago at the VP level. At my previous job, I was Senior Counsel and was very comfortable – I did great work, had great colleagues and a great boss, and great work-life balance. But after six years at that company, I was bored and also ready to move up. The path to moving up was not very clear as it was a flat legal department of about 50 lawyers and 7 VPs/Heads of departments. Because of these issues, I decided to look elsewhere. I got a job with my present company – they brought me in as a VP and gave me a 40% pay increase. It seemed like an excellent offer, with an opportunity to grow in leadership responsibilities, so I took it. For context, my previous company was a large international company of about 20,000 employees. The current one is a mid-sized international company of about 600 employees.
But now that I have been at the new company a bit over a year, I am embarrassed to admit to myself that I don’t really like it and may not have properly vetted the company. While I have a fancier title and considerably more money, I don’t actually have more authority (in fact I probably have less authority here). Our General Counsel and the Deputy GC (who in all fairness have worked together for 9 years), very much have a “boys club” relationshiop with each other. I intiailly tried to include myself in that relationship, but quickly found that they are not anticipating me being part of the “team” in terms of true leadership in the department. However, they like me, constantly compliment me, and the GC gave me a spontaneous raise a few months ago, which was nice. Junior members of our Legal Team appear to prefer coming to me for guidance, advice, which my GC has recognized and is really pleased with. I can’t help but think though, that part of the reason they like me so much is because I don’t complain about feeling excluded from management decisions/discussions. I’m not rocking the boat. I hope this isn’t an issue of ego, but I can’t help but feel that at my level and title I should be involved in larger strategy/management decisions (in fact that was specifically part of what I was looking for when I interviewed and was told would have with this position). And, if I were being honest, I actually think I have taken a step down in terms of authority and professional independence, while at the same time clearly taking a significant step up in pay.
Am I being impatient by wanting to look for something else already?
Coach Laura
You should probably repost on tomorrow’s morning thread for more opinions. But I don’t think it will hurt to start looking now – a year is enough and by the time you find a position, it will be 18-24 months. You’ll have to come up with a reason for moving but the ability to make an impact is important to you.
I don’t think it’s an issue of ego, but your career won’t progress if current management won’t let you into the management “club”, regardless of whether or not it’s a old boys’ club. Assuming that someday (soon?) you’ll want to be GC or senior management, you’ll need the experience of being the top deputy.
Ellen
Agreed. I would never become a member of a club that refused to have me as a member. This applies to you! Go forth to another job and do not look back at these schlubs!