Suit of the Week: LOFT

Corded Cotton JacketFor busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional.

Slim pickings for suits today!  For the price, I like this corded cotton jacket — particularly the cute peplum hem and grosgrain trim.  I do wish it came in different colors, but, ah well.  It’s available in regular, petites, and talls in 00-18.  The jacket (Corded Cotton Jacket) is $128, the pants (Marisa Boot Cut Pants in Corded Cotton) are $69.50.  (There’s another matching pant and a matching skirt, too.)

Corded Cotton Jacket Marisa Boot Cut Pants in Corded Cotton



  1. In today’s episode of Bluejay Finds Bad News … did you guys see this very scary article about this awful website that aggregates tons of your personal data, including your address, income, phone number, and even photos of you and photos of your home? Terrifying and I’ve had all the profiles that had even an ounce of accuracy removed. Thought the rest of you would like to know.

    In other news, I need to go back to work soon so I have something else to do besides looking for scary stories on the internet all day.

    • It’s a little tedious to get your information off of Spokeo (especially if you have a bunch of prior addresses), but it’s worth the time spent and is really easy to do. And tell all of your friends to un-register themselves as well.

      • It seems to list each address as a separate person, including addresses that are more than 10 years old.

        • Yeah…it has addresses on me going back to at least 1996. Awesome. I know what I’ll be doing this weekend!

    • Makeup Junkie :

      how many profiles did you have? I’ve got 8 (college and law school addresses included), and Spokeo limits how many can be removed.

      • I think I created another email address (like a hotmail) to remove more–as I recall, the limit was based on removals/email address.

        • It’s based on IP address too. I think they only let you do 5 or 6 total per day.

          • I just got cut off after 5. I (so far) searched on two last names and two variations of my first name (name and nickname).

            Will try to get more tomorrow.

            Thanks, Bluejay — I never knew I was in (on?) Spokeo.

    • Bluejay – thank you. I read that article very early this morning, but your posting prompted me to remove my information. Also, I had 2 addresses listed for my county and one request removed both of them.

    • Former MidLevel :

      Thanks for the tip! I just removed the profile they had for me. Scary stuff.

    • SF Bay Associate :

      Yeah, a post on scary spokeo went viral in my FB circle last year. I spent a while pulling everyone in my family and friends off of it. Some things about me on it were way off, but most of them were spot on, including some apartment addresses from college that I didn’t remember before. The thing is though, that information is still out there, even if you force its removal from spokeo – it’s just not conveniently gathered in one place once it’s removed from spokeo. But my goal in life is to not be the lowest hanging fruit, so I thought it was worth doing the clickwork to remove it from spokeo.

      • I actually just wrote my congressional representative about this, and would urge the rest of you to do the same. As a sexual assault victim who’s been stalked, this scares me. It also gives a potential burglar pretty much all the info they need to know to decide whether your house is worth hitting.

        • Also, what is to stop them from re-harvesting and re-posting your information after you remove it once? If they search property tax records in my city periodically, won’t I just get re-added next time?

          • That actually is illegal, as someone posted below. If it happens, file an FTC complaint.

    • That is scary. I have not heard of this before and it has my whole family on there! (Although it does say my mom is in her mid 20s, so that’s slightly inaccurate.)

      • Makeup Junkie :

        check to make sure there isn’t any identity theft going on. I have a fairly unusual ethnic name and there is a profile with my name in a different state, but a quick google check assures me it is just a coincidence.

      • It had my age and my dad’s age switched (and had us both living at his address).

    • AnonInfinity :

      Wow. I had no idea this website even existed. There was a lot of info on there about me, including my hobbies and things I enjoy shopping for. EEK.

      Luckily, there were only 2 profiles and it let me inactivate both of them.

    • Holy f***ing f*** that is the most terrifying thing I’ve ever seen. It has my mom’s astrological sign and cats on it. Her CATS.

      But also creepily funny, because it has me at my mom’s address as a man. Good luck, stalkers looking for that hot dude L****** D********.

      • My brother is apparently living with two women in their 30s. One is a canine named Holly.

    • Blonde Lawyer :

      Also beware of Spy Dialer. You can put it anyone’s phone number and it will ring straight to voice mail so you can hear their recording without them ever knowing. Useful for numbers that you can’t reverse look up but scary if you are trying to avoid someone calling just to hear your voice.

      • Here’s the link to Spy Dialer’s opt-out page:

        I guess I need to add this (removing myself from various sites) to an annual chore list. Blech.

    • Merabella :

      I had no idea that this existed either, though I’m not surprised it did. I’m glad it was brought to my attention, I just deleted the information about me. I just forwarded it to my mother and sister so they could do the same.

    • Beach Bar :

      I’ve seen this before and pulled the one profile on me removed, but this is a good reminder to check to see if I need to pull any new ones.

      Has anyone figured out how to remove MyLife without registering? It has pretty much the same data as Spokeo but seems to be much more onerous to remove.

    • Creepy! This may be a silly question, but how exactly do you remove your info from this site?

      • Merabella :

        Go to and copy the URL of your info and enter your email. They will send you a link to click on and confirm.

      • There’s a form under the privacy tab at the bottom.

    • I am confused…you cannot see the results for your profile unless you pay, correct?

      • You can see that you have a profile and what info’s included in it, but you can’t see the actual info. (Well, in my case it had my street name but not the whole number, like 1*** Main St, and my phone number as (123)456-****. Pretty scary.

        I said this above – I contacted my member of Congress with my concerns about this site. Would suggest others do the same.

    • Blonde Lawyer :

      My husband and I both work in jobs where we would like our address to be private. We try to avoid putting it on anything public. I check Spokeo frequently and for the last 3 years it hadn’t found me. I checked it today, and it had my current and previous address. GAH. How much more info do you actually get if you pay? I’d like to know what else it has on me but I won’t pay for it just on the principal.

    • Anonsensical :

      Creepy. I had an unwanted visitor appear on my doorstep about a year ago, and I always wondered how he found my home address. Thanks for posting so I can get some of this stuff cleaned up.

    • I’ve removed myself before from that website. Your post prompted me to check again, and there I am, albiet updated information. Does anyone know how to remove yourself permanently?

      • Consider making a complaint to the FTC. They should not be reviving profiles. Links to follow on the FTC Complaint assistant.


        • Here is an article that says reviving the profile is a no-no with the FTC:

    • This makes me wish that for those of us who work with criminal and severely mentally ill populations could practice under partial or false names. I hate that my home address is public information because I am a homeowner.

      • Blonde Lawyer :

        I know in some professions, there are procedures. Without getting into specifics, my husband works in a public government position that deals with a great share of mentally ill or criminal people. He has the option of being assigned a legal alias and signing all his work/legal documents with that name. We live in a pretty small community though so I don’t think it would take much work for someone to realize Joe Smith is actually Mr. Blonde Lawyer.

        A great time for a PSA, if you have any friends who do undercover work and you happen to see them out and about, don’t run up and say hi, particularly with their real name. Almost outed husband’s former coworker that way. Husband grabbed me, hand over my mouth and pulled me to another side of a bar just as I spotted her and was about to run up and say hi. Oops. That was years ago, but cracks me up still. Husband didn’t know she was going to be there but as soon as he saw her, he knew she was undercover.

    • I found spokeo a few months ago and my husband and i were horrified by how much it knew about us. even how many pets we had. i didn’t know i could actually remove these profiles and i never thought that ex boyfriends or assaulters could find me (and of course now, im paranoid because i do not want to be found by many people). I would appreciate if other corporettes could put out PSA’s if they know now or find out later how to get off of other similar sites – like etc.

      Read more:

    • Alanna of Trebond :

      Is it actually getting rid of your information?

      It is telling me to try again tomorrow.

      • It let me remove 5 profiles and then it told me that to remove more I’d have to try again tomorrow.

        • I just got the same thing – seriously annoying/unbelievable.

        • They just told me I couldn’t remove any more after I’d only removed three profiles! This sucks. “In order to prevent abuse, we must limit the number of privacy requests per email address.” How about “in order to keep your information public to as many advertisers as possible.” GRR.
          I hate stuff like this. My grandmother had her identity stolen and it was such a nightmare. Then people still opened up accounts in her name after she died! I don’t want that to happen to anyone else.

    • How do I remove my profile? I think I already spent all my brain power for the week.

      • There’s a form at the bottom of the page at

    • Merabella :

      This thread prompted me to google myself and see what info came up. I found some xanga and blogger posts where people mentioned my first and last name. I emailed one of the guys asking to remove my name from a post about 3 years ago. He has refused. What kind of recourse do I have in this situation? What do you all suggest?

      • There is a company,, that specializes in helping people get negative information or personal data removed from web searches. Their prices are very reasonable and I know a couple of people who have used them with good results.

    • I did this about a year or so ago, and it still isn’t letting me use my email address. Grr. Time to make some fakes

      • I’m definitely going to create a throwaway email address for this project; otherwise, I’ll just be validating their information with my real email address. No thanks.

    • The only upside of living in a tiny kingdom in Africa is that I couldn’t find my name on Spokeo.. I know this means I am somewhat safe, but I was a bit disappointed.

  2. On a related note, the weirdest thing happened when I was hired for my current job. An hour before my second interview, my home phone rang and it was the hiring manager calling to say he like me for the position and give me a pep talk (his words). The funny thing is I always list my cellphone for anything work related and only my family has my home number, but the bill is in my name, so he must have looked me up in the phone book. He also mentioned that one candidate was sick and another was interviewing later in the week.

    Looking back I think they were afraid they would end up with all of the candidates dropping out, and they had reason to be. Another person who started when I did quit within a few months.

    • When I showed up for my second interview the receptionist and one of the secretaries came into the room where I was waiting for the boss and were all “Oh, we like you! We’re so glad you got a second interview, good luck!” Which, was really really nice, but at the time I was like…what??? I don’t even know you people, one I had not met, had just emailed with and one I had seen for all of 20 seconds at my first interview. I kind of panicked because I actually didn’t even know one’s name! And then my boss came in, shooed them out, and the interview started with me still going…what just happened???

    • another anon :

      Was the manager an older person? One of the older partners at my firm still uses a hard copy of the white pages to look up phone numbers.

      • Yes, he was months away from retirement. Once I was hired he sent work emails to my personal address as well by accident.

    • When we interview someone for a position, we do google searches, Facebook, Myspace, Court websites, etc. It’s pretty standard to gather as much information as possible about the person prior to the interview.

  3. Question for the hive. My husband’s 35th birthday is coming up. Any ideas for a gift? I’d like to get something meaningful since we just had our first son around his birthday last year. I also am thinking about getting him an e-reader if I can’t think of anything else. Any opinions on the kindle, nook or other similar e-readers?? Thanks!

    • Westsidebee :

      I love my Nook! If you’re looking for something that is just for e-reading (not also surfing the internet, watching movies, etc), then the Nook is great. The e-ink display is very easy to read. The battery life is forever. Also you can buy books not just from B&N but also from Google Books and the format works on the Nook. I have the Nook Simple Touch, and I think it still sells for around $100.

    • If you can swing it, what about a night out on the town with the guys — you know, pizza, beer, poker or pool, the whole nine. And then for something sweet and home made a photo album with pictures of you and him and the baby, but with a focus on him.

      Or else, a tour of a local brewery or tickets to a sporting event? I think for the father of a one year old, it might be nice to have an experiential present that gets them out of the house being kind of “manly” in the way they were before kids.

    • Alanna of Trebond :

      Love my Kindle. I have the keyboard/e-ink version, which is quite inexpensive. Can Prime, or lend books, and the format is supported by public libraries. Also, Amazon will convert pdfs into kindle-friendly format for you, which I love (so you can d/l books from Gutenberg project, etc.).

    • How about a Nordstrom gift card or the Paula’s Choice Skincare System? Or maybe a Clarisonic?

      • Whatever you do, don’t get him hair elastics or blue nail polish. Those things are too easily abused.

    • Might be nice to get something which can one day go to your boy, like a good watch. I’ve had great success myself with vintage cufflinks from retrocufflinks dotcom dot au, if your husband wears them. They have a huge range from very classic to very quirky (the latter are especially great for finding shapes with personal significance for the recipient – I’ve bought animals, trains, roman emperors etc etc for husband, family, friends, colleagues and clients).

    • I adore my Kindle (2nd generation). But my friend has a Nook that she likes. If you shop mostly at Amazon or B&N, I’d get the ereader for that merchant.

    • LLM in BsAs :

      If he’s anything into wine maybe a one year subscription to a wine-of-the-month? There are some that will send you three different wines per month (2 bottles each time), so by the end you have quite a wine collection.
      That’s what I’ll be doing later this year for my husband’s 35!

    • Nook! Especially if he has another tablet. My fiance actually returned the color nook because it was bigger than a paperback and he wanted something he could hold in one hand and put in his suit jacket pocket.

  4. Um, no. Gosh I hate really hating something, but this suit does it. It’s a weird color, just looks like a dingy white. The jacket is too short. I do like the trim but that’s about it. And even that should be a different color.

  5. Planned Parenthood :

    I don’t mean to start a political debate with this. If PP isn’t something you support, or perhaps is something you actively oppose, this won’t be relevant to you. However, for those of you who are supporters of Planned Parenthood, I feel the need to share this. Reecent events in the country prompted me to sign up to attend my first fundraising event, where you pay a bunch of money for a mediocre meal and an interesting speaker, but basically it’s a donation. There were 400 people in attendance. They asked every woman who was born after Roe (1973) to stand up. There were less than two dozen of us. I was stunned. Most of the women in attendance were grandmothers who will be dead within a decade or two, frankly. I was the only person at my table who stood up, and the women and men at my table, all strangers to me, looked so proud of me for being there. And I was proud to be there. If PP is something you care about, GET INVOLVED.

    • Makeup Junkie :

      in all honesty, I’d rather (and have done in the past) just write a check to PP instead of attending a fundraiser where some of the money comes off the top. Birth control/abortion aside, but I’ve been uninsured with plumbing problems (totally unrelated to secks for the easily shocked out there) and PP came through for me.

      • My mom always jokes (though its not a joke) that in the old lefty-feminist movement of the sixties and seventies there were actually events where there were two suggested donation amounts. One (lower) if you were attending the event and one (higher) if you weren’t. Basically, you paid $10 or whatever NOT to have to go. It makes me LOL every time.

    • I’m not sure that’s just a function of PP though — I think that’s a function of civic engagement in the US either declining or shifting away from traditional fundraising and gathering. Younger people tend not to be “joiners” in the same way — and its a problem because civic engagement is a good test of likelihood to vote (hence the drop in the voting rate.)

      Anyway — just a thought.

      • Right I donate and a lot of women my age donate. I think we’d be much less likely to go to a fundraiser function though.

      • My personal opinion is that people have more demands on their time than they used to, so being engaged is more difficult. I could be wrong, but I certainly work harder and longer hours than my parents did at my age, and also more than the older attorneys (age 60+) did at my age.

    • I love that you posted this. I’m a pre-Roe baby (mid sixties) and even in my generation, there are plenty of women who think feminism is no longer necessary. If the events of the past week demonstrate anything, it is that that viewpoint is dead wrong.

      • Makeup Junkie :

        I agree with you; I think we as women have become a bit complacent. I am terribly guilty of focusing only on issues that affect me personally and ignoring the rest – or the bigger picture – and I don’t think I’m too unusual in that aspect.

      • by the way, I was born mid-sixties, i’m not in my mid sixties!

        • Ha, me too, mamabear! It will another 15 or so years before both are true :-)

      • I don’t think feminism is no longer necessary, but I’m frustrated that we have to fight to maintain what we have and also keep striving for more. Are we seriously going to have to debate whether married women can have access to birth control (to say nothing of the single gals) if Rick Santorum becomes president? I’d rather we continue discussing the pay gap and the CEO gap than that . . .

        • That’s how they keep us down! Making us fight defensively every time we get it together to make a big push. You think it’s a coincidence that the last presidential election featured two women (whatever you may think of Sarah Palin) and this one features a debate over birth control?

          (I”m only being slightly paranoid, right?)

        • OMG! Again, not getting free birth control is not the same as denying access. 99% of the women who want to use birth control, do use birth control. There is no problem with access. If you think it should be free (or rather, someone else should pay for it, because nothing is free), than say so, but stop trying to dress it up with this bogus access argument.

          • Santorum does not believe in access to contraception. So, no, I’m not just talking about making it “free” (like Viagra is “free” to so manY). But yeah, I will state plainly that birth control should be covered under health plans.

          • Why do you think the access argument is bogus? It’s not about free birth control, but insurance coverage for it. Insurance that women pay for….

    • I don’t have much money to donate to causes like PP right now, so to get more bang for my/their buck I donate directly instead of paying to attend events like that. But when/if I ever find a more highly-compensated position, I’ll be there!

    • karenpadi :

      Thank you for posting this. Whenever I post in support of PP on my FB, it’s only my friends’ mothers (or my own friends in the same age group) who like or pass on the link. And gay guys.

      I thank goodness for mothers and gay guys. But women our age? Humpf. They just can’t imagine life without PP and are in denial about what is going on.

      I would love to attend a PP fundraiser. I’m on my local PP email list and I haven’t gotten any invites. How did you snag an invite?

  6. Jacket Length -- too short? :

    Is it just me or are so, so many jackets too short? I really like the one here but feel like it looks just too short. I like to have several inches of overlap over the top of my pants, not have the jacket end just at the pant line. I don’t know what the standard is, but I feel like I see this a lot, and have to bypass jackets that are really cute, just too short!!

    • Jacket Length :

      Okay maybe not “several” inches, but at least something…

    • Rose in Bloom :

      I think it depends on your proportions. I’m 5′ 3″ with my top half being shorter than my bottom half. I look like I’m playing dress up when suit jackets stop at my hips instead of closer to the tops of my pants or skirt, and that length also cuts me at my widest point (said hips). I recently resolved to only buy suits in which the jacket is on the shorter side because of past failures, but I can certainly see how they might cause gaps for taller people.

      • another anon :

        This…I am short too and I despise long jackets for exactly these reasons.

      • Plus alterations to fix jacket length are out of the question since you lose the correct proportions for bust/ waist/ pockets (from a short person who would cheerfully spend more if stuff fits right).

    • TweedAddict :

      I like short jackets over dresses because I think it keeps the feminine shape. I like short jackets with high wasted slacks because the long-jacket-tall-pants-thing makes me feel like a clown or a man or like my suit is swallowing me.

    • Yes! That was my first reaction to this jacket and the one from this morning. This shrunken look is not flattering on everyone, or even the majority of us.

      • Not to be contrary as I do understand your perspective, but I actually really appreciate when Kat has recommendations for shorter jackets. At under 5’1″, I look ridiculous in long jackets (even ones that supposedly fit). It’s nice to have some variety that includes things I can wear.

        I can’t speak for the majority, but I’m guessing I’m not alone in appreciating this rec (all this as a way of indicating to Kat that I hope she continues to throw some shrunken blazers in with the mix).

  7. Anon. for This :

    I am a licensed attorney, though not in the state where I am currently living due to a move for my husband’s job. I am looking for jobs, and I am finding very few positions that match my skill set. However, there are several openings for paralegals, specifically one at a large hospital.

    Have any attorney’s applied for paralegal positions? If so, was it a good decision? Will employers take my application seriously or just assume that I am waiting for something better to come up? Has anyone advanced from a paralegal position to a “better” position in a company?

    FWIW, I am currently working at a job that has absolutely nothing to do with my educational background and where there is no room for advancement. While being a paralegal is definitely not my “dream job,” it seems more appealing than what I am doing now. I don’t plan to take the bar in the state where I am currently living because we are probably going to move again before reciprocity would “kick-in.” Thanks ladies!

    • Blonde Lawyer :

      My prior job had to attorney paralegals and my current job has one. Lots of employers like them because they can do “so much more” than a typical paralegal, but for the same or slightly greater price.

    • I work in-house and we frequently hire attorneys for non-legal roles (i.e., contracts administrator, land negotiator, etc.), though those attorneys usually aren’t able to transition to an attorney position here. However, I think if you’re doing something legal, that’s got to look better on your resume than just a random job (and your situation sounds easy to explain to a future employer).

    • Makeup Junkie :

      There are paralegals with JDs at my big firm. They earn a slightly lower hourly wage than the contract attorneys/doc reviewers that we often hire, but they get benefits and job security, so I think it evens out.

      • TweedAddict :

        I like this story. Thanks.

      • When we were hiring a paralegal a couple of years ago, we had several applicants with law degrees. For every one of them, it was apparent that they were either looking for a role that could transition into an attorney role (this would not) or that they would be gone as soon as something better came along.

    • This is outdated info, but after my parents got divorced, my (JD) mom couldn’t find an attorney position that would allow her to be flexible with children (this was in the 80s, so it’s only minimally relevant, I’m just so dang proud of her). But she got a temp job for a legal secretary who was out on maternity leave at a Fortune 200 company. 16 years later, she retired as a VP/corporate council for employment and compliance. It was a long, hard road in some ways, and initially she didn’t even tell anyone she had a JD when she started. There were other people in her office that also started as paralegals that transitioned to attorney positions.

    • It is not that uncommon. I have a friend who was working as a conflicts paralegal at a biglaw firm before he took the bar. When he passed, he was able to use that same skill set to get a staff attorney position at another biglaw firm. He didn’t mind the position at all because he had a set 37.5-hour workweek and got overtime pay for any time he put in at home checking emails/messages.

    • I think it depends :

      I think it depends on the job and how you spin it to future employers.

      I work as in house counsel at a large public university. My colleague and I recently reecruited for our administrative assistant. We got over 200 resumes, many from JDs and proper paralegals. We rejected all those applications because we really need an actual administrative assistant and we want someone who will stay, not take this because they need a job and then leave when they can. (It takes forever to hire at our institution.)

      On the other hand, there are many, many positions on our campus that are filled with JDs because they have the best skills for those jobs: director of our diversity office, associates in our research compliance office, associates in our tech transfer office, staff in our risk management office etc. Maybe there are positions at the hospital like that?

  8. First Time Poster :

    Avid Corporette reader, but first time poster here (and hijacking the thread). I have been in my current position in Biglaw for the last 6.5 years, ever since I graduated from law school. I have had an outstanding experience at my firm, and until recently had never even considered looking for another position. I continue to be very happy (even after having my first child last year). I am still full time. I am still on the partnership track (though of course that is never a guarantee, and it is a few years away). Just this week, an interesting in-house position came to my attention. It is in a relatively less stable part of the financial services industry (at least compared with large law firms), but the position is interesting and seems like it would be a good fit for me. I am going to go for the interview to see what it is all about, partly out of interest, but partly because I feel I need the practice in seeing what is out there, expanding my mind to other options, and in interviewing. I am not sure it is the right time for me to make a move, though, both personally and because I am still in a great situation here. Do you think it is a mistake to check it out? I for some reason feel disloyal to my firm in doing it, but I know that is kind of ridiculous and people do this all the time. I also feel like maybe my ambivalence will come through in the interview. Thoughts?

    • Former MidLevel :

      No, I don’t think it is a mistake to check it out. I also don’t think it’s disloyal to your firm–firms generally like it when their “alums” get in-house positions. As to the ambivalence point, I think it you focus on what you’re doing as learning about an interesting position, instead of definitely jumping ship (which is true), that should help. And good luck!

    • No need to feel disloyal. Your firm pays you to do work, which you are doing. It doesn’t pay you not to look for better work elsewhere.

      Also, if your ambivalence does come through in the interview, how does that set you back? You still have a secure job which you like. You haven’t lost anything.

      Good luck!

    • It definitely makes sense to know what you’re worth in the market at any time, even if you make partner and stay at your firm your entire career.

      It is not disloyal. (Anymore than it is disloyal to walk around the world every day and see men other than your husband. But then you come home to him and stay married to him because even though you have seen all the others, you still choose to be with HIM. If he had to keep you at home to maintain your loyalty, then that “loyalty” would be worthless. Maybe a bad analogy, but I think firms are better off when all the lawyers know what their other options are and STILL choose that firm.)

      However, some firms will consider this disloyal and treat you accordingly. You know your firm best: have you ever heard partners make remarks about other lawyers who left or who were looking? If so, keep it quiet. But still do it.

  9. I found spokeo a few months ago and my husband and i were horrified by how much it knew about us. even how many pets we had. i didn’t know i could actually remove these profiles and i never thought that ex boyfriends or sexual assaulters could find me (and of course now, im paranoid because i do not want to be found by many people). I would appreciate if other corporettes could put out PSA’s if they know now or find out later how to get off of other similar sites – like etc.

    • I really think writing to your member of congress is the best thing to do. Data and privacy laws in the US are extremely weak compared to other countries, and only congress and state governments can change that. Right now, they are likely not violating any laws so an FTC or attorney general complaint will probably not get you anywhere.

      It is awful that a website can tell anyone who wants to know where I live, what my house look like, my income (so they can surmise what kind of personal property I have in the house), and my phone number (so they can call and see if I’m home). It’s like setting people up to be victimized.

  10. So I just started an online dating service. What on earth is a “wink”? Is there something in your eye? Or are you just too shy/lazy/whatever to send me an email? It seems like a “he’s just not that into you” red flag. Also, I’m not sure I really want a man who expects me to initiate conversation, etc. because he bats his eyes at me. Do I have the wrong attitude about “winks”? For the ladies who have used online dating sites, how do you respond to them and do you use them?

    • It’s lazy. They can write an email if they want to talk to you. Seriously, a few sentences can’t take that long to write out.

    • I just wink back and see if they send an email. I can’t blame a shy guy for wanting to gauge interest before sending an email. It can take a lot of work/mental energy to draft a first communication email!

    • I ignore them. Email or GTFO is my perspective. Same for one- or two-word emails, like “Hi” or “Nice pics.”

    • Sending a wink is a way of testing the waters and is often free on a dating website. It’s a way to say “you look cute, do you like the look of me?” To send an email, you usually have to become a paying member so some guys try winking at you and hope you will becoming a paying member and email them. Cheapos! If you like him then wink back and wait for him to send a real email. If you don’t like him then ignore.

      • Last time I was on an online dating site, this drove me crazy. What made it even worse (to me) was that in my profile I had a sentence about preferring emails to winks. Great, winkers. What I really want is a guy who ignores what I say from the very beginning!

    • karenpadi :

      I like to wink just as a way of saying hi. Call me traditional, but I like it when a guy takes the first “formal” step. In online dating, I think a wink is an informal step that I can do to show initial interest.

      But guys who wink? I confess to having a double standard. They are lazy.

      • Do you find that guys respond to you winking?

        • karenpadi :

          Sometimes. For the ones that don’t respond, I don’t know if it’s because I’m not what they are looking for (I’m an attorney with a pixie hair cut and an average body–not what most guys are looking for) or if it’s because they think I’m being lazy.

          On OK Cupid there is no “wink” so I have to send a message. I do send fairly short messages–one or two sentences. I think my response rate on OK Cupid is slightly higher but I find that a lot of guys respond once to be polite and don’t respond again. So in terms of number of dates actually happening, it’s about the same.

  11. I will never buy anything at full price from Loft again. The quality is just not worth the price.

    • PharmaGirl :

      I only buy there if the item is deeply discounted and I don’t mind if it doesn’t last more than a season. Not a store for purchasing wardrobe staples.

  12. PharmaGirl :

    Every week I read “For busy working women” as “For busy working moms.” Every damn week. I think my brain is trying to tell me to buy a closet full of suits so I can get ready quicker in the morning.

  13. hair removal? :

    what do you think of this, hive?

    • Makeup Junkie :

      That would not work for me, but if you don’t have super-dark or coarse hair it might be worth trying out.

    • Seattleite :

      I have a policy of not being the operator of any hair-removal system that may hurt. Because then I wouldn’t be able to pre-func.

  14. Kicking myself: I was working on a project back in January that wasn’t due till March 15 and my boss told me some things had changed so I put it on the back burner. I remembered that it was 90% done so I opened it up today to polish and get to my boss and it’s only about 20% done! WTH memory?? Are you trying to get me fired??

    So the next 2.5 hours are going to be devoted to fixing this…and maybe tomorrow too. Argh!

    • Oh no! Time for an afternoon latte!!!

      • Got it done with the help of some 5 hour energy! 15 minutes to spare! Of course, now I still have to copy my hours over to my time sheet, clean up my desk from the tornado that just hit it, etc…but at least my boss will only be slightly irritated with me for being somewhat late and (hopefully) more irritated with herself for not ever getting me the “changed information” she told me she would two weeks ago. If something’s wrong, it’s not my fault! I swear! I even reminded her twice! And scheduled time to meet with her about it, which she missed!

        (Excessive use of exclamation points, I think the 5 hour energy has taken hold. I’m off to run!) :-)

    • But it’s only March 7! You’re a whole week early!

  15. Bunkster – read about your morning and I recall your migraine from yesterday (hope you are feeling better). I always feel so weird/hungover/not myself/clumsy/uncoordinated the day after a migraine. I hope you find your glasses and cell phone.

    • I read this as “I hope you find your glass of wine and cell phone.” And I do hope that for bunkster; sounds like she could use a drink!

      • Thanks, all. I did find my glasses and my cellphone and now I’m having a glass of wine so it all works. I’m definitely feeling groggy and out of sorts, but still better than yesterday or even this morning.

  16. DVF wrap dress on sale at Nordies.

    • MaggieLizer :

      Only in a 4 :( It’s probably just as well because, although it’s a BEAUTIFUL dress, I have a little extra chub around the middle, and I think the cloud-esque print would just make me look like a care bear in the care bear version of camo. Must. lose. chub.

  17. Anne Shirley :

    Century 21 or Nordstrom Rack for hose and bras?

    • I can’t speak for Century 21, but my own experience with Nordies for bras has been so overwhelmingly positive that I just have to put in my vote for their lingerie department. Go Nordies!

    • I always buy my hose/tights at Nordstrom Rack. But then I have never been to Century 21.

    • Isn’t Century 21 a real estate company? That’s kind of a weird lingerie fetish.

      • It’s an awesome discount store with a lot of designer clothes. Unfortunately, it’s only located in NYC.

  18. I wrote on a previous thread how I thought I might have depression. Thanks to all of you I contatced a psychiatrist and she says my symptoms could be Adult ADD, depression, anxiety, or a combination. I am interested in getting tested for ADD since I do have a lot of the symptoms and I know it runs in my family. The doctor I am working with has a lot of experience testing for this and she would be willing to work with me if I am diagnosed. I was told it will cost somewhere between $500-$1000 out of pocket.

    The only real benefit I see of being diagnosed with ADD is that I will be able to get access to medication and initially get relief. If it is not ADD she would be able to give me medication for depression/anxiety. I am not sure how I feel about this. I am very nervous about going on medication. However, if it is short term and would provide relief for how I have been feeling/acting then I am more open to it.

    Has anyone been tested for ADD and taken medication? Is it worth the time and expenese to get the diagnosis? Have you improved since you were diagnosed?

    • I went in to the psychiatrist for anxiety and instead of medication we’re doing a course of CBT. If you’re nervous about meds you could always look into that.

  19. AppealingLawyer :

    Thread Jack: Basic Jacket?

    The post a few days ago about replacing your tired Mary Janes made me think of buying a basic go-with-anything black jacket.

    I am always reluctant to buy anything other than super casual jackets (that I don’t wear to the office) on their own because I’m never sure what they go with. I know my triacetate suit jackets from AT don’t look good with anything other than its matching pants/skirt. But I even bought a boucle jacket from Talbots (super cute…burgandy and greys) and I have the hardest time matching it with anything. I always feel like the “weight” of the material doesn’t match up right or something. It seems too heavy to go with my year-round wool pants.

    Any tips for buying the perfect Little Black Jacket? I’d love one that could go to work and with jeans. If it helps, I’m tall and have a bit of a tummy (so side seams are my friend).

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