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Updated: Jan 12, 2022 144 Comments · by

Suit of the Week: Mango

Suit of the Week

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

For busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional.

I haven't checked out Mango's office looks in a while — but they've got some great (and affordable) basics. They've also got some weird stuff — I'd skip the “bra effect sweater,” at least for work — but hey, maybe that's me.

The blazer is $79, and the pants are $60. It unfortunately doesn't come in plus sizes, but Mango does carry sizes up to 4X — and they've got a decent selection of affordable officewear for plus sizes too.

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Comments

  1. Anon

    1. Could suits be styled with realistic shoes? Only a villainess in a California murder mystery would dress like this.

    2. Doc Martens with skinny jeans aren’t really working for me. [OOTD gets a C+.] Maybe if the jeans were wider/cropped? 2021-2022 fashion pictures are not for women who live where there are defined seasons and footwear / pant length actually matters.

    • Anonymous

      Wowowowow. If I wore any of this to my office my four male partners would spend the day drawing straws as to who has to be the one to send me home like the principal.

  3. Anonymous

    Has covid changed your friendships – as in you feel like people never reach out to you anymore? I’ve had this happen with a few friends and FWIW they are age 40+ and single like me so it isn’t a matter of being overwhelmed with remote school etc. I feel like I’m the one that reaches out [so I’ve pulled back a lot too] and they’ll talk/text if they want or ignore me if not; and with both of them it seems like all they talk to me about is covid and the parade of horribles – how it’ll never end; how there’s no proof the virus is weakening etc. Like NEVER wanting to see the positive – i.e. we have vaccines now that we didn’t used to etc. One of the friends had covid in March 2020 when there was really no medical care and it was bad – and now with this variant she finally cares again because reinfection is a possibility [yet before this she was going out, meeting up with people etc.].

    This isn’t a case of people dropping me because they find me irresponsible. I legit leave my house once in 2 wks – in fact they are the ones who complain more about people not following the rules etc. and then go out dining or to stores nearly daily and almost get offended if I say – uh stay home to avoid people. Are these friendships just done? I get covid is serious and believe me I’m taking it seriously but I also don’t want to talk non stop about it or about how people won’t mask properly or whatever; but then if you don’t want to talk about that, I guess people don’t want to talk at all??

    • Anon

      I assume you’ve tried changing the subject? Any chance these two friends have depression with all the time indoors?

    • Anon

      “I legit leave my house once in 2 wks” I mean, if you are doing this and your friends are doing this too, I’m not sure what you expect from them? They’re not going to call and ask to hang out, right?

      • PolyD

        Not really the same thing, but I’m getting annoyed at people who are “so over” Zoom or FaceTime, yet don’t feel safe meeting in real life (which I actually am on board with for the next few weeks until omicron hopefully dies down). I mean, I’m not on Zoom a lot for work, so maybe I don’t quite get it, but isn’t a Zoom happy hour better than no contact at all?

        A tiny bit, I miss the early days of the pandemic when people were up for having Zoom happy hours or brunches fairly regularly.

        • Anokha

          Honestly, I’m Zoomed out. I will MAYBE do a Zoom hangout 1x/month with a group of friends, but I can’t anymore. And so at this point in the pandemic, if my options are hanging out over Zoom or not hanging out, I’m just not hanging out for a few weeks. I’m making plans to see friends in 2-3 weeks.

          • NYNY

            I refuse to socialize over zoom. It has none of the benefits of in-person socializing, and feels like my workday has been extended. I stay in touch with friends I can’t see in person by text, phone call, or occasional facetime, but not impromptu facetime. Also, I have a few group texts that have become epic in covid times.

            OP – my favorite way to get together with friends when covid is bad is meeting up for a walk in a park. We can negotiate masks on or off when we get together. It’s a nice way to chat, get out in nature, and do something active, which helps with depression a lot. But also, everyone is going through it now. If you want to see friends, go ahead and initiate! Try to give a ton of grace if they aren’t as responsive as they were in the past. We’re all a mess. And even if we aren’t, we have been at some point since March 2020, and we may be again.

          • Anon

            Same. I do check in with close friends over text and email (I’m Covid cautious and not going out much but these friends aren’t local anyway) but I’m over screens. Everyone I know feels the same way.

        • Cat

          same, I’d rather just have a regular old phone call or meet up in person. I am OVER staring at a screen all day.

        • NYCer

          Echoing others, I have zero interest in Zoom happy hour. Tbh I didn’t even really partake at the beginning of the pandemic. I would rather just catch up on the phone, or at this point, meet in person.

          • Anon

            I agree, I am 80%+ of working time on video calls (pre-pandemic as well) and having a private/social video-call feels like yet another work assignment. Even though it is not.
            Background: my closest friends live in 5 different countries and although we chat and talk often, video is the closest to reality. But we all feel the dame about the video – because of work. Le sigh. We manage to do video 1x quarter. Otherwise, it is a group WA chat.

    • Anonymous

      They both sound anxious esp since they don’t want to chat about anything but the pandemic.

      • Carrie

        +1

        It is nice you are reaching out to them. Sounds like they need it. Keep trying to change the subject. It has been a rough few years. Single friends you have known for years and like over 40 are hard to find, so before you drop them…. think about it.

    • Anon

      I could have written your post about my two closest friends that live in my same city. Pre-pandemic we hung out a lot and went to each other’s family events, etc. Then the pandemic hit and one of my friends went into lockdown and has never come back out. She basically won’t leave her house; she wouldn’t even go do outdoor dining last summer when cases were low. After group texts devolved into constant doom news links and lamenting about the pandemic, I stopped responding and pretty soon, our other friend did as well. Occasionally I tried to make “pandemic safe” plans for outdoor dining or drinks (either with her and I 1 on 1 or with the three of us) – and she always canceled at the last minute, citing our local case counts as the reason (it seems like she monitors them hourly). So I’ve stopped trying to invite her places. Since I won’t engage in the doomtexting and there aren’t any in-person meetups, we basically don’t talk any more. Because as you say, I am completely over talking about the bleakest aspects of the pandemic (this friend also went into a complete tailspin about Jan. 6 last year – could not stop texting news stories about it, how we’re all doomed, etc. Maybe we are but I don’t want to talk about it all the time! She finally stopped and the thread’s been dead for months now). I am not going to spend my energy on that. I want people around me who resonate with my energy, not drag me down and feed my worst anxieties.

      My non-doom-friend and I have talked about it and she’s completely disconnected; she doesn’t really even feel like there’s any point in continuing to try. She came to the conclusion a lot sooner than I did. She didn’t even respond the last time I texted her.

      By contrast, I still have friends I was friends with in high school and the pandemic made us want to reconnect and stay in contact even more. We got together for a friend trip last year, we have a running group thread with silly memes and fun stuff and family pictures and updates, and we’re planning another trip for this summer.

      My conclusion from all this is that the pandemic has been character-revealing and also revealing about who I need to have in my life. It’s sad that it’s come to this. I miss my local friends. But it is what it is. And for me, I am not going to be able to forget the constant doom-and-gloom and the last-minute flaking out and the multiple other disappointments and weirdness and go back to the way things were if/when the pandemic ends.

      It’s also been revealing for me that I need to make some new friends and so I am going to be working on that this year.

    • Anon

      I’ve spent two years mostly at home. I’m well read about the pandemic (the info is adjacent to my field anyway) but I don’t talk about it all the time except as a sort of “well this sucks, doesn’t it?” icebreaker. But some of my friends have drifted anyway, and it’s not necessarily about the pandemic in and of itself, but more because we don’t see each other in the city anymore. We were there for work, we got together for lunch or after work, and it maintained the friendship. We all live in different suburbs now and it’s a big effort to get everyone into the city at the same time because we’re not already there for work. The particular group I’m speaking of has a group text but it tends to fizzle, and no one was really interested in regular zoom calls. It’s sad, but it is what it is. We’re still friends, we didn’t have a falling out, but I guess without work being the common denominator, we’re not inclined to gather as regularly. We haven’t gathered as a group since Feb 2020.

      On, the other hand, during the pandemic I’ve actually made new friend groups. One of my older friend groups from way way back when has been committed to regular zoom calls, so I’m more up to date with this group than I was prior to the pandemic, which has been nice. And another group of newer work friends formed a group that has resulted in all of us being better friends. I’ve gotten together with both of these groups in person quite a few times during low-numbers phases of the pandemic. And I’ve made one actual new friend via my dog. The dog still needs walking, it’s all outside, and I’m really enjoying getting to know my dog’s friend’s owner.

    • Ellen

      You should not be bored if you have something good to look forward to! I am looking forward to finding a man who will treat me right; i.e., know how to hold me and thrill me! So far, nothing yet, but I am hopeful that the Omicron variation, and its conquering by our scientists, will coax out men who are anxious to please but haven’t so far b/c of the virus.

    • Anonymous

      Me too! Should we play a round of FMK?

      Mine…
      F Channing tatum
      M Adam driver
      K Mel Gibson

    • Curious

      Something pithy.
      …this is all I’ve got.

      Though I have to say the California murderess idea above could be a good starting place. “She strode into the office, wiping blood from her dagger, plunked her lunch into her mini-fridge, and stretched with satisfaction. That was a good chase.”

    • anon

      Not pithy, but petty?

      I can’t get enough of this Jamie Lynne Spears interview today. One more example of her making money off the back of her sister, now trying to peddle a book. Unreal.

    • Anonymous

      I discovered yesterday that there is a Twitter account that posts a new picture of an opossum every hour (during day hours). Only to discover soon after that there is ANOTHER Twitter account that then gives each opossum a name. I don’t really feel that deeply about opossums one way or another and I don’t know why, but knowing these two people exist in the world is giving me a ton of joy right now.

    • Cici

      On the Mango site, only the plus size ladies got the practical shoes, no representation for the curvy California Murderesses!

      • Anon

        I mean – a good murder is a quite tough workout, no? I imagine a Californian Murderess would therefore be quite toned.

  5. Shelle

    PSA for anyone searching for rapid antigen tests, they are available on the Demetech website. It’s not a brand I’m familiar with (On-Go) but the Demetech name is trusted for masks so I assume these are high quality by association. I picked up a few boxes. Stay safe out there!

  6. Anonymous

    Apologies for the dumb question but I literally never went to the beach once growing up so IDK how it’s done really. Say you’re on vacation in a place like Fla or Ca staying “in town” – i.e. not a ocean front resort which provides you beach chairs/towels etc. but you want to spend a day or half day of your vacation on a public beach. I’ve done this before where I’ve just walked on the beach for a few hours and find it relaxing but obviously I don’t want to walk all day; if I stay more than a few hours I’m going to want to sit down at some point.

    Do I bring my own towel to sit on – and if so – does that mean bring one in my luggage from home or take one from the hotel bathroom? I imagine I don’t take a hotel towel right – because you’ll be returning a spotless white towel messed up by sand. But if I bring one from home – do I just toss it before leaving my vacation? Because how do I pack that in my luggage without getting sand all over everything else? Same thing with – say you just sit on the beach in jeans [too cold to be swimming anywhere I’d go in the next month or two], no matter how much you brush them off, there will be sand. Am I missing something? Because as far as I know people do this all the time – in Orlando for a vacation but one day will be a beach day a few hours away so they’re bringing/getting the gear and getting it home.

    • Anon

      I think maybe people are more relaxed about sand in their luggage than you are. The hotel will tell you not to take their towels to the beach, and they’re not nice beach towels anyway. Maybe pack a big plastic bag for the sandy stuff and put it in in a canvas tote to carry on?

      • Anon

        +1 And yes, you’ll want to bring a beach towel instead of using a hotel bath towel.

        • Anon

          Thin, junky giveaways towels from baseball games are great for this. These are so cheesy that they pack up very small. Turkish towels (no nap) are also good for travel beach towels.

    • Lorelai Gilmore

      1) You have to accept that there will be sand, no matter what you do. It’s OK. Throw everything in the wash when you get home and call it a day.
      2) I have started using really thin turkish towels as beach towels, which are fabulous. They dry quickly, wash easily, and are tiny to pack. It’s easy to cram a few into your luggage and then bam, you have towels with you for swimming or sitting or whatever.
      3) When in a beach area, I often check with the hotel or the AirBnB to see if they have beach equipment (like boogie boards or umbrellas or chairs) I can use. It’s very common in AirBnBs.

      • Anonymous

        +1 to the Turkish towels for beach towels. All the SandCloud instagram ads got to me a couple of years ago and they’re all I use for beach towels now. No, they aren’t as absorbent, but worth it for packability and quick drying.

    • Anonymous

      Bring a plastic bag to put your beach blanket in. I’d also suggest a Turkish towel (lightweight, dries fast) or some of those newer “sand doesn’t stick to them” towels. (Maybe someone else has a brand to recommend? We mostly go to water parks so Turkish towels are ok for us.)

    • AIMS

      Some suitcases come with wet bag compartments but I think that more intended for shoes/bathing suit you may want to pack last minute. I think you just bring a hotel towel and you don’t worry about sand. If you want to protect your luggage from sand, pack the offending items in a plastic bag.

    • Anon

      Yes, bring your own beach towels/outfit. And I’m fairly persnickety, but I don’t worry about sand in those circumstances – just shake it out well and move on.

    • FP

      I’m not sure about California but many beachy towns in Florida have beach equipment rentals (chairs, umbrellas, coolers, etc.). Just google search town + beach rentals. We have done this a few times while staying with family in Sarasota. An alternative is if you’re ok with waste is to get yourself to Target or Walmart and buy an inexpensive chair and towel and donate or trash it at the end of your trip. You can probably do this for under $25.

    • Anon

      I would expect a hotel near the beach would have towels, though I don’t think it would be a big deal to bring a hotel bath towel to the beach. Towels don’t get ruined when they go to the beach, right? They’re washed and reused. Hotels are sanitizing their linens.

    • Formerly Lilly

      What you want are “Ziploc Big Bags”. They ought to be called “Ziploc Astoundingly Large Bags”. Dimensions are 2′ x 1’8″ (x 7″ on the bottom). You should be able to find them at an ordinary grocery store and I’d note that I’ve seen them stocked with household storage bins rather than in the baggie sections. Good for your towel on the return trip and any swimsuits that aren’t fully dry.

      • Anonymous

        Or the free version if this- use the dry cleaning bag or an extra garbage bag at the hotel. That’s how we roll.

    • Cat

      Bring a Turkish towel rather than terry and plan to vacuum your suitcase when you get home.

      Alternatively some beach bar type places rent chairs & umbrellas by the day.

    • Anon

      In addition to the other suggestions (I always carry a few kitchen garbage bags in my luggage because they take up no space), I have also gone to Target nearby and purchased a towel or two. They are like $4 each for bath towels and that’s good enough for me. If you don’t want to put them in your returning luggage, you can leave them in your hotel room in case housekeeping staff want to wash them and take them home. It’s not particularly environmental, but on top of a whole vacation, it’s minimal additional damage.

    • Sutemi

      Many hotels that are near the beach still have pool/beach towels. I’ll take one of those or a hotel towel, I don’t worry about it too much.

    • Anonymous

      When you arrive at the beach location, purchase a cheap towel at the nearest drug store. Shake it out well before re-entering the hotel and hang it to dry. When you leave, leave it in the hotel room. Or bring your own from home and deal with the sand as prescribed elsewhere. Unless the hotel provides “beach towels”, the room towels will be too small, and you will just be disappointed and uncomfortable the whole time.

  7. Anonymous

    I am super burned out right now (no particular reason other than the general state of the world. No kids, so it’s not like my covid experience has been particularly challenging, relatively speaking). Have plenty to do at work but having major trouble focusing. I’m planning a vacation, but it won’t be until the Spring (and I want to plan the vacation instead of work). How do I get through the next few months?

    • Anon

      Don’t wait a few months to take a vacation. Do a long weekend trip or something before that.

  8. Chinese culture Q

    Question for people familiar with Chinese culture. Is 333 the correct number for a baby shower gift? I have a very dear Chinese American friend who is pregnant with her first, after many trials. Because of distance/ covid I haven’t seen her in 2 years. I really want to get this right.

    • Anonymous

      im second get Chinese American and dont know anything abut 333 being an important number. I’d definitely avoid 4 (unlucky number) but would opt for something with 8 in it since 8 is lucky. in Chinese 8 rhymes with the word for prosperity. I’d do 88$ and maybe a physical gift?

    • Maudie Atkinson

      Married to a Chinese-American: I’m not familiar with 333 being significant for a baby shower or other occasion. I do know that you’re never supposed to give an amount that ends with 4 because said aloud, “4” sounds like “death.”
      FWIW, we had a baby last year, and no one gave us $333. But also, my (limited) experience is that when it comes to red envelopes, customs vary widely within and among Chinese diaspora communities. In my husband’s community, people always give crisp, fresh bills, and there is only one bill per envelope, so there are always round numbers.
      I’m sure your friend will be touched no matter the amount, and sweet if you also remember for future events–birthdays, Lunar New Year, etc. We’ve learned to keep lai see/hong bao envelopes on hand because my SF-native husband learned the hard way that banks in Atlanta don’t give out red envelopes with cash withdrawals.

    • Anonymous

      Another Chinese American here – I don’t recall anything about 333 specifically for baby showers or babies, but 6 and 8 are always auspicious and lucky numbers. For my cousin’s first child, I just bought her something off the gift registry but I’m pretty sure some relatives gave $80, $88, $100 or $200 in a red envelope. Avoid anything with the number 4 at all costs.

      If you want to get a gift that’s more culturally Chinese, gold (as in real gold, not just gold-plated) charms and jewelry are traditional for both boys and girls. Jade is too, but I almost never see that unless you’re in NYC or SF Chinatown these days.

    • Serafina

      Chinese-American (though not particularly cultural), and I have also never heard of 333. 8 is good (‘prosperity’), 4 is bad (‘death’), 14 is especially bad. 6 and 9 are also good (things good smoothly, and long time / long life), but generally stick with 8 and away from 4.

    • OP

      Thanks ladies. I really wish I could be there to share her joy. I just want everything to be perfect for her.

    • Jz

      6 or 8 are both auspicious numbers. You can do like $166 or $188 or $266 or $288 anything like that would work

  9. Lorelai Gilmore

    Following up on the hair volume discussion from this morning: any suggestions for effective products for thickness/volume? I have fine, straight hair, just past my shoulders, with a tendency to be dry at the ends and oily at the roots. After a major weight loss, I’m experiencing some hair loss which is normal and temporary, but I’m trying to figure out how to manage it during this time. Any suggestions for products? Things that don’t work include:
    Any gel (too heavy)
    Many kinds of mousse (also too heavy, makes hair greasy)
    Blow dry techniques (I think I’ve maximized those)
    Salt spray (just does nothing)

    • Elle

      I have similar hair and a few suggestions. First, you may want to have your iron checked next time you go to the doctor. My hair loss a few years back was related to changes in diet and exercise- which may be the case if you’ve recently lost a lot of weight. I was shocked by how much new hair growth I was noticing after a few months on iron pills. Second, in terms of products I have have great results with IGK. I use a heat activated volume spray called “next level” before I dry my hair. Then for my second day hair, I use their volume powder spray called 30,000 ft and psssst brand dry shampoo. I hope that helps!

    • Anon

      Coloring your hair can make it look thicker because the strands get roughed up. It also helps with oily roots.

    • Anonymous

      I use a mixture of volumizing mousse (L’Oreal right now) and styling cream (L’Oreal Air dry it or Blow dry it; pretty sure they are the same). I have to wash or use dry shampoo daily to avoid grease no matter what. My hair is slightly wavy — very humidity dependent — and fine but copious, so WMMV.

    • lawsuited

      Oribe Texturizing Spray works amazingly well. It’s expensive, so I’m only recommending it because you only need a short-term solution :P

  10. Anon

    Do you think you look older or younger than your actual age? If so, do you think lifestyle and/or treatments have made a difference, or is the difference largely due to genetics or unavoidable factors like illness?

    Also, for how long do you think beauty interventions make a difference? Many women in their 50s-60s look much younger than their age, but does anyone think that a 70 year old can look 40 or 50? At a certain age there’s no way to really look young, correct?

    I personally choose to embrace my age, let my gray hairs grow in, etc. but I have decent genes so I think I look 5-10 years younger than my age, but maybe I am fooling myself.

    • Anon

      I’ll be 42 next month, and I think I look several years younger (and others have expressed surprise that I’m as old as I am, so it seems to be not just me!).

      I think part of it is genetics, part of it is attitude. I have some wrinkles and I’ve chosen not to color my greys, but I have a lot of energy. I also have a 15 month old and plan to get pregnant with #2 in the next few months (via IVF for reasons unrelated to my age, so it’s very realistic for me to have another child at this age and even a third in a few more years). I know other people would be reluctant to have kids at my age b/c of not having the energy, but I couldn’t be happier.

      As I get older, I’ll continue to wear sunscreen, take care of my skin, etc. I may color my hair at some point but I honestly doubt it. I will probably get (another) varicose vein procedure at some point but that is for comfort, not vanity (fortunately, I’m not a hosiery model!).

      I want to look good (my definition of good), not young. I happen to look young, but it isn’t the goal. I want to radiate joy and energy, eat well to fuel my body for a full life, exercise because it makes me feel good physically and emotionally and I get to run around with my family as a bonus.

    • Anon

      I am 51 (not sure how that happened). I have a Cher streak in my otherwise dark hair. IDK if this is what people think 51 looks like, but I am what 51 can look like. I had kids late, so I think I blend in well with other parents who are 10ish years younger (but not the ones who had kids very early, who are 20ish years younger). Office job helped (makes you stay out of sun), as did having hard waist-band clothes in Before Times that made it obvious if I needed to dial the appetizers back a bit. A bit of middle-aged spread, but I’ve stayed proportional and active-ish. Sunscreen? Genes? Habits? All of the above? I get Botox 2x/year and it wears off b/c I just don’t bother to keep up with it as everything else is so crazy.

      • Anon

        Regarding the Cher streak–I think HOW you gray is as big a factor as how much you gray. A Stacy London look is still pretty youthful even with a whole hank of gray hair hanging by your face. I instead was “gifted” with old-man mobster grays, feathering out from my temples, while the rest of my hair stays quite dark. It is not cute.

    • Anon

      IMO darker skin ages with a lot of grace; IDK if it accumulates sun damage more slowly but it’s like you can do a lot of work to your face but neck skin is just unforgiving.

    • Anon

      Until a few years ago, I looked a lot younger than my age. At 37 or 38, I didn’t have fine lines, let alone wrinkles. A massive amount of stress and a baby changed that, and now I look 30s, not 40s.

      What works:
      Good genes. I have no control over this. My parents both look younger than their age.
      Sunscreen
      Exercise. Seriously underrated.
      Fruits, veggies, healthy fats.
      Maintaining a relatively constant weight – fluctuations age you.

      What hurts:
      Sun, stress, chronic sleep deprivation. Pregnancy, because a woman who has not had a baby has a more youthful shape (slimmer and flatter waist, and often, less weight in the hips).

      Anyway, my advice to young people is wear sunscreen, dive headfirst into a big pile of vegetables, get some exercise, and do lifestyle changes that are sustainable. Get some sleep.

      • AIMS

        I think it’s also easier to care about your appearance when you aren’t exhausted with small children. Or at least it was for me. I am always being gifted face masks so I can “relax” and they sit largely unused because just the idea of getting up off the couch to put one on is too much trouble when I finally get everyone in bed and the house back in order.

        Genetics and lifestyle obviously plays a role too, but one of my best friends is almost exactly my age and she definitely looks a lot younger than I do, to the point that someone was shocked to discover we are the same age (not flattering to me, but oh well). Her hobby is taking care of her face though with an elaborate nightly regimen and monthly face treatments. That said, I don’t know that I look my age exactly? I think I probably look a bit younger but in a weird way maybe it’s because we all have a notion of what certain ages are supposed to look like and mine are formed by 1990s sitcoms and 1980s movies where everyone looks pretty crappy and dated at 40 and is a straight up grandma at 50. I remember reading somewhere that Courtney Cox was the same age on Cougar Town as Rue Mclanahan on the first season of Golden Girls & as much as I LOVE Blanche Devereaux, that just blew my mind. I think this whole perception issue ends up playing to the advantage of much older women at some point, assuming they’re otherwise healthy. My aunt is 80 but she still has a very vibrant demeanor and most people assume she’s 65 or 70 at most because in movies 80 year olds have white hair and shaking hands and are always just there to be dying and not actually ever the protagonist of anything.

        • Anon

          I agree about the change in appearance for media characters. The meme going around about Paul Rudd and Wilford Brimley at the same age really blew me away.

      • NW Islander

        I am 41 and think I look my age. I definitely looked younger than my age until 2020+ (at 38 I was asked out by a 21yo I knew from a hobby; he thought I was much closer to his age). Stress from work, family, etc., has taken a big toll. Lots of gray hair, crow’s feet, etc. Oh well.

        I still think I look “good” at 41, and I attribute that to genes and a lifelong commitment to fitness and good diet. Until recently I did not own a car and this made me walk 4-5 miles every day on top of my active hobbies. I can still zip into my 1995 cheer outfit, but expect those days are numbered. I’m ok with aging naturally. I wash/moisturize with Cetaphil, no injectables or Botox for me. I just want to be healthy and physically strong.

        It helps that I am forever single/alone, so I do not feel any pressure to look good for someone else.

    • Anon

      I look younger and I would credit genetics, spending the majority of my life in a rainforest so I rarely see sunshine (depressing for a lot of reasons but great for one’s skin), and I don’t smoke.

    • anon

      IDK, I personally think most the people who claim to look “so young for their age!” are mostly lying or in denial. You can still look really good at 40, 50, or whatever, but that doesn’t mean you look younger.

      • Anonymous

        You are the same person who claims that everyone already knows when you’re pregnant, aren’t you?

        • Anon

          I’m a different anon but tend to agree. It’s kind of similar to how most people think they’re better than the average driver.

          I think I look similar to my friends of the same age, and we all do look younger than pictures of people in our parents’ generation, BUT we all look similar to other women in their late 30s as of 2022.

          • Anon

            IDK — I was a cute little kid for a minute and looked like an awkward teen in first grade. I grew before everyone else so I looked much older and the. It’s like I hit the pause button in puberty. I am still flat chested and have oily skin and hair and I’m in my 50s. Slick hair is youthful? Slick skin, too? I guess if you have no b0obs they can’t sag, so there’s that.

          • Anon at 4:49

            I’m not saying that no one looks younger than their age. Maybe you do! But most people don’t.

      • Fog

        I’m starting to think this too, including about myself. We don’t notice gradual changes in ourselves as easily as others do. When I saw colleagues for the first time in person after over a year of pandemic remote connections, for most of them I was shocked to see how much older they looked (could be pandemic related stress too).

        And while people will comment on how youthful one looks because it’s a compliment, far fewer will comment on how someone looks her age (why would you) or older than her age (sure, this may come up as a neutral or surprised statement but not as often as a compliment on youthfulness). I can think of a few acquaintances whose age range I accurately guessed before I knew their ages, but they think they look young.

        Ofc there are people who do really look younger than they are, but most people who think they do probably don’t.

      • Kitten

        Agree, it seems like everyone thinks they look young for their age. For me, I just had an inaccurate idea of what certain ages look like. I always thought 30 seemed “old” but then realized when I hit 30 that you don’t look that different from 25.

        Also, people are usually just trying to be polite when they guess your age as younger.

    • Anon

      Mine is all genetic. My mother and my MIL – both fair skinned women of western European descent – my mom is green eyes and auburn hair, my MIL is blue eyes and blonde hair – have aged very differently. My mom is 10 years older than my MIL, but arguably looks younger than MIL does. My MIL uses all the skincare potions and has for decades, but still has very noticeable wrinkles all across her face. My mother has a few fine lines around her eyes, but otherwise nothing, and has never used anything on her face other than the Jergens original body lotion she;s been using after the shower since 1964 ha. Both did their fair share of baby oil tanning in the ’60s and ’70s. Neither woman is willing to embrace her grays ;) I’m embracing mine so far – am I kidding myself to think they look friendly at my temples? ha. I get fairly significant dark spots from sun exposure and I haven’t found anything yet that counteracts them, so my trick now is full coverage foundation :/

    • Anon

      Much younger. I’m 49 and constantly shock people with that so I don’t think I’ve got a big head. Combo of genetics and lifestyle/ beauty treatments. Strong youthful genes in my family are a big part of it. Also started Botox in my 30s so barely have wrinkles. I color my hair and regularly exercise, also keep up on trends and dress well. Biggest lifestyle factor is not having kids – I get all the sleep I need and have the time to maintain things.

    • Anom

      I’m 45. I’ve always looked young for my age because I’m 5’1” and small boned. But I don’t wear much makeup and my skin is starting to droop. So I think it’s starting to catch up with me.

    • Curious

      Older. Baby and cancer. Is what it is. I was still getting carded in Europe at 26. It’s reversed now. We’ll see what my 40s bring if I get there!

      • Anonymous

        +1. The hormone blockers after cancer treatment have made my face age tremendously in the past year. Keep me alive, so I’ll keep taking them. I’m 47 and I look 47.

    • Elle

      I look old for my age. I started going gray at 18-20 and started developing wrinkles at 26. When I started getting Botox at 28 my doctor told me that they normally would say no to someone my age but that my wrinkles were severe enough to warrant it. It sucks because I’m spending more money on maintenance than my peers, but there isn’t much I can do.

      • Curious

        Do you find it ever gives you an advantage (like being afforded gravitas at work) or just straight up goes into ageism?

    • Anon

      Both.

      I have struggled with acne my whole life but at least it means my face has fewer wrinkles (both from the extra oils and the tretinoin). That and the extra weight I carry help out in the face department.

      But, due to my profession, I have sort of an authoritative air (I’ve been told this many times) which can lead people to believe I’m older than I am.

      I’m proud and happy to be the age I actually am, so it all works out. Every day is a gift.

      • Curious

        I showed up to a warehouse at 28 in a hoodie that probably made me look 24, and the staff was like “wait, you’re not 40?” It was an amusing day.

      • Anon

        Also, I just want to add, lots of us tend to look younger now vs pics we see of women our current ages from the 50s – 80s because there aren’t as many smokers now. EVERYONE in my mom’s generation smoked, and it was terribly aging.

      • Anon

        Wanted to write similar :)
        My looks say I am younger, my behaviour says I am older.
        No kids, I avoid sun like a vampire due to fair skin, use spf50 daily, no smoking, exercise daily, use tretinoin, I color my hair, and have some acne scars (which people tend to associate with young people).
        My profession / role would suggest I am older and I do have the air of a person in a leadership role (at work/off work). Also, I was born old (or behaved in a mature way from early age).
        IDGAF about my age or what people think about it. And I look forward to every decade I get to live in full health. Especially the decade when I can have grey fancy hair and wear a red lipstick and Old-French-Lady-type of perfumes.

    • NYNY

      I’m 52 and am always told I look younger than I am. I credit good genes and the things I didn’t do earlier in life: sunbathing, having children, smoking. I did start going gray young, with my first one popping up in high school, so my hair is salt & pepper now, but people often think the grays are highlights.

    • anon

      I look a lot younger than I am; my husband has a babyface too. On our honeymoon (married at 30 and 31), people kept telling us we were too young to be married because they thought we were early 20s. And I am regularly mistaken for a college student (and in law school for an actual high school student). I think it’s a combination of nature and nurture. For my husband (now 36), I think it’s because he is in relative good shape, has a full head of hair, is clean shaven and dresses well, wears sunscreen, and is not graying. My mom is 70 and people have always commented that she looks much younger, so I think genetics are big for me. We are mediterranean and it’s almost like my skin seems thicker? (definitely still oilier) than my friends who are more English/Irish descent. I can’t describe it, but their skin looks more papery-thin now in our 30s and consequently shows wrinkles. As for lifestyle, I have worn sunscreen pretty religiously my whole life, I don’t drink much and have never smoked. Someone else said no drastic weight fluctuations and I think that’s probably true too as well as lots of water and healthy fats. But then there are external things that align more with how we envision younger people to look – like my husband being clean shaven and a good dresser. My hair is very thick and my eyebrows are naturally thick so I don’t fight them – these are ‘signifiers’ I think of a younger look.

    • Anon

      I honestly have no clue how old I look, and I think it’s impossible to answer that question in a vacuum. People guess my age extremely wrong in both directions, but it usually seems more based on their own age and place in the world, versus my actual appearance. (As in, teenagers think everyone older than them is ancient, and the elderly think the opposite.)

      I’d love to see strangers polled to see how good people are at guessing, but any time such a thing exists on1ine (i.e., on R3ddit) it devolves in a n3ckbeard sh1tshow of woman-bashing.

    • Senior Attorney

      I better look younger after all the procedures and the regular hair coloring…

    • anon

      I am 42, and while I think I look like what 42 is supposed to look like on me, people usually guess I am in my mid-30s. As has already been stated, most of this is genetics. The rest I credit to sunscreen, practicing a mostly health lifestyle (giving up booze helped), Botox for my 11s, not having kids, being strict about my sleep regimen, exercising regularly, therapy and life changes to reduce anxiety and depression, and establishing and enforcing boundaries around work. Stress and lack of sleep is really detrimental. I am rarely stressed and, as mentioned, stick to my sleep schedule (7+ hours).

      I think at some point, interventions drop off and you can only make yourself look so much more youthful and everyone knows you’re faking it. I am in the process of growing out my hair (stopped coloring it during the pandemic) to see what my grey situation is – not sure I will go back. I will continue to use Botox for my 11s as long as I can afford it. The Botox makes me happy because when I look at my self in the mirror, I don’t automatically think dang girl you look grumpy AF. It makes a difference in my attitude and that helps everything.

    • Seattle Freeze

      I’m often told I look younger than my age but I don’t think by more than a few years – most people would guess I’m in my forties but not that I’m 48. Probably some genetic advantages – my mother and aunts don’t look like they’re in their 70s. Probably being on the thin side affects people’s perceptions, too, though that has more to do with health issues than any effort on my part.

      Not really bothered by aging and not inclined to do much about it. But I was really sad the day I realized that I have actual pain lines on my face – my face takes on a particular involuntary expression when I’m in a lot of pain, and it was distressing to realize that happens enough that it’s etched into my face.

    • Anonymous

      Younger than my mid-30s, but only by a couple of years. Not smoking, years of acne medications with retinoids that had the added benefit of antiaging, and quite frankly not having kids (so less stress/more sleep, presumably). I also have long hair, which I think skews younger looking, and it’s blond, so you don’t notice the greys as much.

    • Anonymous

      I feel like I go 5 years without looking older and then it all catches up with me at once.

    • Carrie

      You ask whether a 70 year old woman can look 40 or 50? Just…. no. That kind of creeps me out actually. The movie stars who try to do that look pretty … bad, and unnatural in my opinion. Meryl Streep is one of the few that seems to have amazing genetics and has aged incredibly well.

      Actually, there is a huge disclaimer. It still totally depends on your skin color/ethnicity/genetics. I know women old enough to be mother who are black who look younger and hotter than me.

      Once you go through menopause, so much changes. Your skin dryness and coloring, the hair quality and quantity, the fat distribution (loss in face/hands can be so dramatic), and the other effects of the loss of estrogen. Most women who are answering your question in this thread have not been through it yet. Unless you find an OB/GYN willing to dose you with post-menopausal estrogen despite the risks of cancer and heart disease, these are changes that cannot be overcome for the vast majority of us.

      As Carrie Brandshaw is told in the Sex and the City follow-up series by the Plastic surgeon… Mother nature is not as kind to women. Men don’t go through a sudden hormonal drop that can dramatically age them overnight.

      My brother is one year younger than me. I have been mistaken frequently as….. much older than him. Mother Nature is not as kind to women…..

    • Coach Laura

      I’m 62.999 and I routinely get surprise from people and get told I look 52. When I was 40 and 45, I would often get carded when they had the “carded if you’re 30 or under”. (That procedure has changed now. But it was a thing here back then.) When I was 30, one of my bosses thought I was 20. (She had just met me that day and hadn’t seen my resume). Now, I have zero grey hairs. I don’t think that makes me look younger but it does help with upkeep. I haven’t had any work done, other than using OTC retinol cream. I tanned/burned as a teenager but have worn sunscreen since 25, every single day plus I’ve worn hats and sunglasses in the summer.

    • Anonymous

      I just turned 48. People express significant surprise when I say my age. An uncle who I knew as a child but not since questioned whether a picture my cousin sent of me was really me because he knew how old I would be. I think it is a combination of living a somewhat lower-stress life (no spouse, no kids, no house until 40 but a stressful job) and genetics. When I was 23, a virtual stranger looked at me and said “you have the kind of face that never really ages” and I think there was something to that. Oily skin. Slightly overweight. Rounded nose. Plump lips it certainly is not good skincare, clean living, or medical intervention.

    • Anon

      I’m 35 and I think I look young – maybe less so now, but in my 20s and even early 30s I was frequently mistaken for a teen. When I was 26, I was told by a flight attendant I had to leave the exit row because they didn’t believe I was older than 15 until I showed them my ID. I think it has much more to do with my freckles across my nose and round baby face (I kinda look like Mariah Bell, if anyone was watching figure skating last week), than wrinkles or lack thereof. Also maybe the fact that I don’t wear any makeup. I think until a certain age make-up makes you look older, and then after a certain point it makes you look younger, and while I’m probably close to the line I’m still on the “makeup makes you look older” side of it. I personally think gray hair ages people a lot but I don’t pay attention to skin as much as many people do. I wear SPF religiously (out of health concerns more than beauty concerns) but no other beauty regiments or Botox/plastic surgery.

      • Anonymous

        When I was 24 I went to buy an evening gown for a charity ball. The salesclerk asked when my prom was. She was a little flustered when I replied “eight years ago.”

        At that point I had already been coloring my hair for five years to cover the grays. Can’t win.

  11. Anonymous

    Has anyone been to st Thomas with a preschooler? Any recs where to stay? Not married to this location, but looking for non-FL beach weather in April and a direct flight from Boston (or PVD). Thank you!

    • Anon

      Not with a kid, but St. Thomas is kind of blah. I would only go if you’re up for going over to St. John. I would choose Florida over St. Thomas personally. Honolulu is also a non-stop flight from Boston. A long flight, but it is direct.

      • Anonymous

        Thank you! I asked because I was getting a “blah” vibe online when. Not looking for that long of a flight to go to Hawaii. Was hoping to avoid being out of country for return reasons, but may need to rethink that.

        • Anon

          Puerto Rico may be your best bet if you want to stay in the US (which I totally understand), although honestly I think there are many parts of Florida that have better beaches than PR. If you’re willing to go out of country, Turks and Caicos, St. Lucia, Bahamas and Antigua are all great.

        • Anon

          +2 (okay, I’ve only been to St. John and not St. Thomas (other than the airport) but St. John is amazing and I’ve heard many times that T. Thomas is blah. If you go this route St. John’s is worth it IMHO).

  12. Anon

    This may only make sense to people who are Extremely Online, but am I the only person who does not understand why people think that DesignMom Twitter thread about abortion is brilliant and and groundbreaking? Like, that thing keeps getting retweeted all over the place and has for the last year and I honestly don’t get why. I know that she’s Mormon so maybe saying “hey, a man is involved in every unplanned pregnancy too!” is shocking truthtelling in her world but, like, I grew up evangelical in the 1990s and even then that would not have been a particularly daring thing to say – much less now. IDK, like, I don’t object to it but nor do I understand why people are so in love with it.

    • Anon

      It does not hook me in either, but I don’t think I’m the target audience.

    • Anon

      She has also recently become militantly anti-adoption and while there are issues in the adoption industry I feel like it’s kind of punching down for a woman who has six (so far as I know, biological) children to lecture infertile couples about how they are selfish for adopting instead of just accepting their childlessness.

    • Seventh Sister

      I think it’s sort of clever and thought-provoking, especially since so much abortion discourse can be about “bad” women doing a “bad” thing and then making “bad” choices.

      I grew up in a pretty conservative church (thankfully before purity balls and promise rings etc.) and pretty much all of the admonitions boiled down “don’t you dare get pregnant” as if it didn’t take two people to have an unplanned pregnancy.

      Then again, my church as a kid wasn’t very dogmatic (mainline Protestant in a very Catholic area). I do remember one youth leader trying to make the point that girls should be virgins and us teenagers kind of collectively started in on, “well, why shouldn’t BOYS be virgins?” out of cussedness, not some real feminist belief set (well, I had some, but I assure you the guy next to me wasn’t reading Friedan). And when my father mentioned that my uncle was interested in having his kids “do courtship,” I’m pretty sure I started rolling around on the floor laughing before I told him I’d just die an old maid before I let him pick my husband.

      • growing up conservative

        Yes this^^, and I had a purity ring and we all made abstinence pledges in seventh grade. The general assumption was that boys will always pressure girls and it’s on us to say, “no” and make sure nothing happens. So her thread suggesting that maybe we take extreme measures with men is mind-boggling in two ways: first, that a Mormon woman would in any way suggest that men have any responsibility, and second that a Mormon woman would imply that extra-marital gardening is a thing that happens and should be factored into the discussion.

        I generally want fewer ab0rt0ns, but I think the most effective way to make that happen is fewer un-planned pregnancies. And the most effective way to make THAT happen is comprehensive education and accessible contraception. But my conservative evangelical family won’t hear of the data on either of those two approaches because, “It encourages people to have extra-marital relations”, despite being single-issue voters on overturning Roe. A thread that suggests that men capable of impregnating women be forced to get a vasect0my until they’re willing and able to raise a child just upends their entire world view.

        I think the audience for that thread is a mix of feminists who like the cheeky table-turning, and conservative evangelicals who remain shocked, SHOCKED I tell you, that anyone would suggest such a ludicrous course of action. I think she knows quite well that it’s not going to change any hardcore conservative minds, but it might provide a humorous(?) way for a more moderate family member to enter the conversation? (I avoid these conversations because there is no middle ground with my family, and any suggestion that we discuss outcomes, data, and potential solutions to achieve the outcome that aren’t from the 1950s ends with them in tears that I’m a terrible person and I wasn’t raised this way)

  13. Paging colander search for great aunt

    Paging colander search for great aunt –

    The long-handed, one-handed metal colander is a UK thing.

    Amz.ca can deliver UK brand KitchenCraft – just search for KitchenCraft Colander. Pendeford is also very nice, you might get that through ebay?

    Lakeland will also ship to Canada, but it’s not as nice:
    https://www.lakeland.co.uk/3065/Single-Handed-Colander-20cm-Dia-

    IKEA also has one. It’s not a sieve, but it looks more sieve-like than the others.

  14. Alli

    What’s up with Mango’s website? They have several suit jackets named “Fitted essential blazer” that are very obviously not the same blazer. Some have flap pockets, some slit pockets, some washable, some not, etc. But nothing to distinguish them from the other. This is a terrible practice!

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