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Thursday’s Workwear Report: Floral Print Pleat Blouse

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A white woman with long blonde hair (face cropped out) wearing a black floral top and jeans (lower legs cropped out)

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

I love a dark floral for winter. The print on this Vince Camuto top is vibrant without looking overly spring-y. The flowy fit would look great tucked into a pencil skirt or layered under a long cardigan. Do note that reviewers are saying that the top, which looks like it might be black in the photo, is actually navy.

I would wear it with navy skinny pants and a camel sweater blazer for a business casual look.

The top is $84 at Nordstrom and comes in sizes 1X–3X.

An option in straight sizes is this Saltwater Luxe top that is $90 at Nordstrom.

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Sales of note for 4/24/25:

  • Nordstrom – 7,710 new markdowns for women!
  • Ann Taylor – Friends of Ann Event: 30% off your entire purchase, including 100s of new arrivals
  • Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 25% off
  • Boden – 25% off everything (ends 4/27) (a rare sale!)
  • The Fold – Up to 25% off
  • Eloquii – Spring Clearance: Up to 75% off + extra 50-60% off sale
  • J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Up to 60% off sale styles + up to 50% off summer-ready styles
  • J.Crew Factory – Extra 50% off clearance + extra 15% off $100 + extra 20% off $125
  • Kule – Lots of sweaters up to 50% off
  • M.M.LaFleur – 3 pieces for $198. Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
  • Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 50% off last chance styles; new favorites added
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – Friends & Family Event: 30% off entire purchase, includes markdowns

Sales of note for 4/24/25:

  • Nordstrom – 7,710 new markdowns for women!
  • Ann Taylor – Friends of Ann Event: 30% off your entire purchase, including 100s of new arrivals
  • Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 25% off
  • Boden – 25% off everything (ends 4/27) (a rare sale!)
  • The Fold – Up to 25% off
  • Eloquii – Spring Clearance: Up to 75% off + extra 50-60% off sale
  • J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Up to 60% off sale styles + up to 50% off summer-ready styles
  • J.Crew Factory – Extra 50% off clearance + extra 15% off $100 + extra 20% off $125
  • Kule – Lots of sweaters up to 50% off
  • M.M.LaFleur – 3 pieces for $198. Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
  • Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 50% off last chance styles; new favorites added
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – Friends & Family Event: 30% off entire purchase, includes markdowns

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

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307 Comments

  1. Should every couple get a prenup before marriage? My divorced friends, perhaps unsurprisingly, all say yes – even if you have nothing. My never married or still married friends tend to lean towards maybe/no.

    I’m not married but my girlfriend and I have dated three years and I’m thinking about proposing. She has told me she wants a short engagement and/or elopement – probably to limit time with my anti-gay family, but that’s a whole other topic :) Just thinking about whether I should talk to a lawyer and her before proposing or if there would be time after.

    1. It’s very popular advice on this s1te but I don’t know anyone in real life who had one, so just know that responses you get here will be skewed. My two cents is that if you have very unequal assets, it makes more sense. If you’re both broke (as we were – he had net worth basically $0 and I had net worth -$10k due to student loans) or have similar levels of wealth, it doesn’t matter much.

      1. I have been divorced and am getting remarried. I’m not getting one. To be fair, I’m in a jurisdiction where what you can contract out of is pretty limited. We were both poor going into my first marriage, although I made a lot more during the marriage, and I was relatively fortunate in that it was amicable and we each kept our own assets (no kids). I currently have more assets than fiancé #2, but he has significantly higher earning potential. I also see us as a true financial team and cannot imagine bringing this up in a way that wouldn’t cause hurt feelings (and don’t feel a need to). My best advice is don’t marry someone who you don’t trust with money – in hindsight, I should have know that husband #1 and I were incompatible in that respect.

    2. Congrats! The only people I know who have one had significant assets going into the marriage. If you do, yes definitely. If you don’t, I do think it’s worth a conversation after you propose about what you two prefer — are you comfortable with the default in your state if you divorce (my husband and I were and so don’t have one) or do you have strong feelings that vary from the default that you’d like to lock in now? But I personally wouldn’t consult with a lawyer before proposing.

    3. Congratulations!

      I am never married and 42 yrs old. I will absolutely have one if I get married to be triple sure that what I am bringing with me, leaves with me. If I was 22 with no assets, I might feel differently.

    4. Before I went through the process of working on my prenup with a lawyer, I would have said every couple should get a prenup before marriage. I think my answer to the question would be more nuanced now. I don’t regret it, since some of the terms were extremely important to us (we’re very likely to someday move to another state where the laws on property division in the case of divorce are very different from those in our current home state; we both strongly prefer the laws of our current state), but I’m also not a hundred percent sure what we ended up with was worth the time and cost (in terms of attorney hours). Like the Anon at 8:48 said, it may have felt more worth it if my spouse and I had more unequal assets, but we are essentially financially equal, and we’re not extremely wealthy so it didn’t make sense to spend a lot of time hashing out anything too complicated or different from our current state’s laws.

      I do think it’s important to understand before marriage how your home state (and any likely future home state’s) divorce and property division laws work because once you’re legally married those laws will apply to you in the case of divorce. Prenup negotiations are certainly one way both parties could become educated about that.

      This may not be true in all states, but in my current home state if both parties are agreeable, there’s no real substantive legal difference whether the agreement ends up being signed as a prenup or a postnup, so if that’s you, you’re not under that tight a deadline even if you plan on a short engagement.

      1. Adding on to the comments about knowing the property laws, my nuanced answer is I would strongly consider speaking with a lawyer if either of you have property going into the marriage. I’ve known plenty of women that discovered because their spouse owned the house before marriage, the house remained their spouse’s despite years of using their salary to pay it off. Same for investment accounts and the like. There are ways to handle this without a prenup – e.g., buying a new house together post marriage, or alternatively, consciously keeping investment accounts separate or combined – but it is still good to understand how the laws work. Likewise, it is always a good idea pre-wedding to decide if what will remain yours, hers and ours -whether or not you get a prenup.

        1. The house situation comes up a lot, often when you aren’t married. Sally has a house (and kids or parents). Sam moves in. They pay for the house together. They don’t get married. Sally dies unexpectedly. The kids get the house and can lock Sam out (or the parents). It gets really sticky where Sally’s mom had the house and then moved to Florida and added Sally to the deed so it would pass to her upon the mom’s death (but Sally really can’t add Sam to the title, even if they marry). That’s really not a fun situation but it comes up a lot. I also know kind people who just deal with it (like a couple letting the guy’s MIL live in a trailer on the land (prior wife died vs divorce, hence the peace) because in a small town you don’t just turn people out (sometimes).

        2. In my community property state, the value of those assets prior to marriage remains separate property, but any gains or losses in their value during the marriage are jointly owned. Which means you must liquidate them investment or sell the house to divide the gains unless they can be offset by trading another asset.

          IANAL, I’m a divorced person.

      2. I’ll echo the advice that it’s more urgent for couples who are further along in their careers, who bring a child or children into the marriage, and/or who have very different incomes, assets, and future financial expectations. In my experience, I didn’t have one with my first marriage and the result was just fine. I absolutely had one with my second because of the reasons I’ve mentioned.

        Whether you actually sign one or not, I would say that it’s a good idea to have the conversation and disclosure about finances that drafting a pre-nup requires. You can see if you’re both on the same page about what you have, what you are earning, what you expect to have, and how you will spend, invest, and save. Might go a long way toward never needing a pre-nup, in the end.

    5. No, it’s very situation-dependent. I’m divorced and remarried. No prenup in the first marriage, and none needed – we didn’t have assets going into it and nor did we accumulate much during it. In my second marriage, we’re currently working on our postnup (we didn’t get to it beforehand), but we both have substantial assets (including stuff like real estate, a boat, etc.) and very different incomes, plus a child.

    6. I think this will depend a LOT on the specifics of the situation. DH and I got married at the beginning of our careers, with about the same savings and about the same level of debt. We didn’t get one. DH stands to inherit a fairly decent amount of money when his parents pass; depending on the actual amount we may get a post-nup, however, if it’s “only” enough to fund the kids’ 529s, we will pass it to them via college savings and it will be a non-issue. He also inherited land that is deeded to him and then our children.

      Friends of mine that got married later in life where the partners had different financial pictures absolutely got a prenup. I have a couple friends that have careers with heavy up front investments, like law or medicine. In those cases many couples got a prenup for various reasons (eg. high earning spouse of resident, or situation where one is is planning to stay at home while the other goes through 6 years of residency).

      Second marriages, friends with family money and/or known upcoming inheritances etc. all have prenups regardless of age at marriage.

      1. Not what you or anyone was asking, but just a heads up that inheritances are generally treated as the separate property of the spouse who inherited it, so if your husband keeps the money in a separate account in his name alone, it would all remain his in the event of a divorce. If he deposits it in a joint account, it is messier and likely would be treated as martial/community property in the event of a divorce.

    7. every couple has a prenup, it’s just some of them are applicable state law. So take a look at that and then decide. However – I would not get a lawyer seriously involved for a prenup before you actually propose!

      1. +1. We have prenup, but it wasn’t about money per se; it was to obviate the problematic to us portions of our religion’s “default prenup.” (Our other prenup is that my (wonderful!) MIL said she would squash DH flatter than a pancake if we split and he tried to use our religion’s default prenup to extort me.) Ask yourself if the default prenup is the one you want. If so, you’re all set. If not, then you should have a prenup or you should reconsider getting married (to this person).

      2. This. Know what the laws are in your state, and if that is generally okay with you, then there’s no need for a prenup.

    8. I would do it if I got married later in life. I have kids and some assets that I want to go to my children (one may need support due to being on the autism spectrum, possibly in a special needs trust), I can imagine that any future spouse would be of a similar age and likely come with a prior family and also have enough assets to live on (even if live more extravagantly or modestly).

      What I think would be more helpful is for a doctor I know who stopped working when she had a kid with special needs and a high-earning spouse; should they split up, she’d still want to be there for the kid and would not likely re-enter the workforce where she was when she left it (and might need additional training if her licenses have lapsed (I know a nurse practitioner with this issue and 4 kids)). But how do you know that this exact situation would happen and how do you ask for post-nup when it does?

      1. You ask for it in your words: “I am happy to take one for the team and give up my career to stay home with special needs child. However in exchange I think it’s only prudent that we draw up an agreement to protect/compensate me in the unlikely event something happens to our marriage down the road.”

    9. Highly situational and unpopular opinion, but I think it depends on who you’re marrying too.

      1. Agree. It’s not that I think my marriage is great – it’s struggling a LOT – just that my husband has a tremendous amount of integrity and would feel a responsibility to play fair for the sake of our kid.

        1. You would be surprised what a good guy will do when he’s hurt about filing for divorce. I’ve seen it play out many times, including in a serious long-term relationship myself. My husband is the most honest, upstanding guy I know, but there’s really nothing I would put past him (or any human) if I surprised him with a divorce filing.

          1. Look, I appreciate that you think you’re giving good advice to a doe-eyed kid, I’m an attorney in my 40s and my parents have four divorces between them. Trust me, I know how the world works and have had no illusions about marriage since about 1983.

          2. Yeah, I have seen otherwise good people (men and women both) do terrible things to a soon-to-be ex-spouse in the divorce process. I saw a dad who had a biglaw job and definitely could not (and didn’t really want to) be the primary caregiver make a real, expensive, and painful bid for full physical custody of his kids on no basis, so far as I can tell, other than wanting to punish his soon-to-be-ex-wife (who had previously been the primary caregiver and only worked part-time) for wanting a divorce. And I saw a mom suborn perjury (asking a friend to lie in an affidavit – saying her ex was drunk and violent at a function we were all at) because she felt like she needed evidence she didn’t have of why her husband was a neglectful father.

            Both of these people were my friends and they both did things in their divorces that absolutely shocked me. People lose perspective big time.

          3. It’s my experience that when people divorce, they become amplified versions of themselves.

          4. My “kind,” “loving,” “didn’t care about money” ex asked for things in our divorce, that he initiated, that absolutely shocked me. I’d never say never if you haven’t been through it.

        2. I agree to an extent (some people really do have character and integrity that hold up in bad circumstances). But I also know things can happen to people that aren’t their fault and that can change their behaviors. Currently I feel that if my husband changed dramatically after something like a brain tumor (something I’ve seen happen to other people) that the way the divorce went would be the least of my concerns. But I also don’t have kids.

      2. Another take on this without a whole lot of drama: My husband is very risk averse by nature. We carry a ton of insurance on things, we have people maintain the house more regularly than I probably would on my own, and he is all about AAA with the car, getting second opinions with medical care, etc. We’re 15 years in and I’m happier in our marriage than ever (he seems to be as well). But he insisted on a prenup. The irony is that I actually think the terms are better than anything I would have asked for. But I see this as just one more thing that helps him sleep at night. Sort of one more aspect of his cautious planning. There really isn’t a downside to me other than the initial lawyer fee since the terms were more than fair and honestly I rarely even think of it.

        1. Also, FWIW, I suspect a lot more people have prenups than what other people realize. Only a few close friends of mine probably know about mine. I’m not keeping it a secret or anything and would be more than happy to share experience and tips or what have you, but it just doesn’t come up in the day to day. Sort of like I’m not aware which one of my friends carry short-term disability coverage or have done estate planning or what have you.

        2. Yeah, this is our family. And it helped us learn the laws in our state (we like them!) and have good conversations.

    10. It’s worth starting to talk about it now. My husband was not happy about doing one and it was not a secret while we were dating that I would not get married without one, so he had several years to get used to the idea – if I had surprised him with that after engagement it would have been not enjoyable. It also took several months for the process to get done; although we aligned pretty quickly on what we wanted, the hold-up was with the lawyers (there are multiple rounds of edits, each lawyer takes several weeks with the draft in each iteration, each partner discusses each iteration with their lawyer, etc), and you don’t want to sign it too close to the wedding otherwise it might not hold up.

      Do I think every couple needs one? Probably not. I have one, and I’d guess 5-7 of my 10 closest friends have them. We all married in the 25-30 range, live in HCOL areas, most of us came from affluent backgrounds, had high paying jobs, and were marrying others that looked similar on paper. However, for the cases I know the rough details of, there were large (6 figure or more) wealth discrepancies due to student loans or inheritances or significantly different earning trajectory timelines. Also, remember that you already do have some agreement of how assets would be divided in a divorce – it’s just decreed by the state you are living in at the time of a divorce. If there are any states in the country you don’t like their approach, and even a tiny chance you might move to one of those states, it may be worth codifying something in a pre-nup, even if it’s just to match your current state’s approach.

    11. I don’t have one because we went into marriage poor and built everything together. If we were to divorce 50/50 truly is fair. However when I get an inheritance we will be getting a post-nup

    12. I don’t know anyone who has one, and I don’t have any divorced friends that have said they wished they did. But I don’t know a lot of lawyers.

    13. I think it’s very situational – it’s not just about your current assets, but also your earning trajectory, family plans, and work plans. Does one of you want to stay home when you have kids? Does one of you foresee an inheritance that you want to specify goes to your children in the event of your death rather than your spouse?

      Some examples from my friend group:
      A lawyer (28) marrying a doctor (30): at the time of their marriage, the lawyer had very little student loans remaining (none for undergrad and <30k for law school left) and was earning a big salary. The doctor was still in his fellowship and had over $300k in loans left. It made sense for them to get a pre-nup to specify how those loans would be handled even though neither had substantial assets at the time.
      A product manager marrying an attorney: both made about the same amount, but the attorney came from substantial money and the product manager planned to move to a much lower paying non-profit role. The pre-nup was more to ensure if they were to divorce, she'd be well taken care of even after she hurt her own earning potential for the benefit of the couple and their chosen lifestyle.

    14. I view them as a negotiating starting point rather than absolute protection. Opposite view of many, we married later in life, are both lawyers, and skipped it. We agreed on what we would each keep in the event of a divorce informally. There’s no legal protection with that obviously, but we are both true to our word. While I could be wrong, and I don’t want to tempt the fates, this isn’t a marriage that will end in divorce, so I just wasn’t worried about it. I had plenty of relationships where the opposite would have been true if we married. I just got very lucky with this one.

    15. I got married in my 20s and neither of us had anything, so we don’t have a prenup. If my husband died and I were to get remarried, I would get one, to make sure the assets I am bringing into the marriage are protected for my son (and would also create a will, and trusts, etc. for this reason). I would want the peace of mind, and also clarity from the jump, that the money I have worked for (or inherited from my husband) is for the support and benefit of my own child, and not my new spouse and any children/grandchildren he may have. I wouldn’t marry a man who didn’t have assets of his own for that reason – especially if he had children. I’ve listened to too many podcasts about older women having their assets drained by their new partner/spouse to not be wary of that scenario.

      I don’t know any couple in their first marriage IRL that has one, likely because I don’t know anyone with substantial family assets. I know several people in second or third marriages who have a prenup, likely for the reasons I outline above.

    16. I dated a man in college. He came from a wealthy background and mentioned he wanted a prenup when he gets married. I was offended by it and it caused a big fight. We were at the same college, facing the same future opportunities, and it made me feel really bad about myself because I came from a working class family of teachers, like a part of him thought I only wanted to be with him for his assets. I think a prenup is also pretty unromantic and assumes a marriage will fail, but I understand you hope for the best and plan for the worst.

      We were young and didn’t continue our relationship to this day, but just consider how your girlfriend could hear what you’re saying (even if that isn’t your intent). The conversation made me feel like he thought I only liked him because of his wealth and that protecting his wealth was more important than an equal relationship. I wondered if we had kids, would he want to use “his” money to help support them or only “our” money. Would we only buy a house only with joint money? Would he let “his” money just sit in an account? There are a lot of questions your girlfriend may have, so I encourage you to brainstorm your reasons in advance.

      1. But those discussions about your financial philosophies are critical to have BEFORE you marry so the fact that the prenup discussion triggered them is why prenups are important! I see your example as an absolute success story on prenups.

        1. It was a successful conversation in that the OP has to be ok with the outcome of the conversation being the end of their relationship. I suppose its better to end things rather than fight during a marriage though. My point is the topic may be more hurtful to her girlfriend than she has considered.

      2. I find it interesting that you equate”teachers” with “working class.” They’re white-collar professionals, like lawyers or engineers, but they probably make less than plumbers. Does income equal rank?

    17. When I got married, we didn’t have one for a couple of reasons. One, neither of us had significant assets and the laws in our state are pretty good about inheritance as separate property (more of a concern for me than my spouse). Two, it wasn’t in my financial interest as the lower-earning partner who had no intention of being a SAHP. Three, my MIL was appalled that we didn’t have one and I wasn’t going to sign one just because she liked the idea (she didn’t have one either! she’s just a cheap narcissist with too much money!).

      I did tell my husband that I would back out of the wedding if he tried to get me to sign a prenup within 6 weeks of the scheduled wedding date. That’s a somewhat popular tactic and I wasn’t going to fall for that kind of thing. Plenty of women in my family have been up sh*t creek without a paddle because they depended on men, and I wasn’t going to follow in their footsteps.

    18. You’ll have time after, I think, unless you want to do something very tricky in the prenup.

      Remember that you already have a prenup, you just don’t know what it says and you guys haven’t discussed it. It’s state law and the whims of a judge when you get divorced. I’d definitely bring it up before engagement just to get on the same page about expectations. When I got married to my now XH we basically just enshrined state law with a few edits. All assets and debts we brought in stayed ours, inheritances remained individual unless we otherwise agreed, and no alimony unless we agreed one person was going to be a stay at home parent. I am very very very glad I spent 1500 on that, and it also makes you discuss what you want with your partner, even if it never gets signed.

    19. I went into my first marriage with very little, and my husband was in the same situation. We were both just starting our careers. We kept our money separate for almost 10 years, until we had a child.

      During those 10 years, I made slightly less income than my husband, but I socked more money into my 401ks. I still paid half the household expenses, but he didn’t save as much as I did because he didn’t really understand that not even getting the employer match was like letting hundred dollar bills blow out the window every week, and he wanted to prioritize his expensive hobbies.

      We used a loan against my 401k, which was hefty by that point, to fund the down payment on our first house. (The loan was not a great financial idea but we live in a VHCOL area and it was all we could do.)

      When we got divorced it didn’t matter that we’d each had our own bank accounts and spending money and 401ks. Half my 401k was his. Half the house was his. Basically all that money he pissed away on hobbies was half mine, even though we didn’t think so at the time.

      I’m remarried and best believe I’ve got a prenup in place.

    20. Oh, yes, if only because it forces a conversation regarding how you will handle finances. If you haven’t already worked this out, you might find you’re on very different pages when you’re forced to deal with it or your situations change as others have mentioned above.

      As a child of divorce, I still remember the conversation my father had with me when I was 18 detailing the prenup he had signed with his soon-to-be second wife. Who doesn’t like me at all, but will follow what is in writing.

      Also, you never know what will happen during divorce. I had friends who took 3 years to get divorced because (they’re idiots) and couldn’t agree on what was basically dividing what should have been 50-50 debt (no loans, just a mortgage) and almost-equal pensions.

      1. late response

        we have a prenup just like we have car insurance and house insurance, we hope to never need but a subconscious relief to have in place.

  2. I live in a city and have been considering a move to more space during almost all of the pandemic. I used to love my small condo when I was spending most of my time outside of it and using it as a landing pad. Now it is my everything – home, home office, gym, restaurant, and I have been desperate for more space. I’ve always considered myself a city person but there is a home about 20 minutes out of the city that I can’t stop thinking about. But I’m struggling. I told myself not to make a move based on pandemic factors because they may not be permanent. Like some day I hope to go back to the gym and the office and to traveling and not needing so much from my condo. But having done this for nearly 2 years, I may be at my wits end. I also have a lot of angst about possibly leaving for the suburbs. Prices are high right now but it’s hard to know what will happen there. It’s a lot but I’ve run the numbers and can afford it. Will I regret not buying now if I wait a few more years? I lost sleep last night tossing and turning thinking about this house. It is gorgeous and the space would be incredible but I’m not sure what to do. Offers are due tomorrow and I’m bouncing wildly between excitement at the possibility of more space to having a pit in my stomach about the price and leaving the city.

    1. Try to separate how much of your desire to stay in the city is about it being part of your identity and how much is based on actual life in the city (and assume that some of your city-life things will come back gradually).
      Also, leaving the city doesn’t mean you can’t come back. Especially if you’re renting, there’s little value in maintaining a toehold. You could even rent out the house if you are waffling again in a couple years.
      On the other hand, consider if you’re ready for the cost and maintenance of owning a home. It can be a hassle.
      I have bought houses four times in cities, suburbs, and out in the sticks. I usually think of it as a 2-10 years thing, not a forever thing. That helps me avoid getting stuck in choice limbo.

      1. Yeah, we decamped to the country from a city flat and I was moaning yesterday about how boring homeownership is. £600 to replace a window, £500 to have the gas line earthed…

      2. OP here, I appreciate the thoughts. I should’ve added, I own the condo and it’s almost paid off. I’m not opposed to renting it out but my building limits how many units can be rented at any given time and there’s a wait list that seems to take a couple of years to move through.

        1. Voice of experience here, sell it, renting a condo is a nightmare. On the city/burb issue, I considered moving out of the city as a singleton a few times before the pandemic. What stopped me was dating easily and my commute. Both would have been harder from the burbs. If you have the means, and since your condo is payed off, what about getting a weekend place somewhere country, beach or woods? I ended up doing that a few years ago and split my time for the best of both worlds.

    2. I left the city and purchased a house back in May 2020 when everyone was still insisting that this would only last a few more weeks. Even if COVID magically disappeared tomorrow morning, it would still be the right choice. The cities are irreparably ripped apart and I am no longer comfortable riding public transportation. My favorite restaurants all closed and my friends moved away too. It’s okay to admit that COVID has permanently changed things, and to be sad about it. But you shouldn’t trap yourself in a situation you are unhappy in just to avoid letting yourself be sad about the lifestyle we lost.

      1. I tend to agree that life as we knew it is over. Certainly things will not always be like they are now, but who knows what the new normal will be?

      2. Sounds like this was a great choice for you. But I stayed in my city, which is not “irreparably ripped apart”. I was fine riding public transportation summer-through November. Some restaurants have closed, and a few friends have moved away. Many new restaurants have opened, and most of my friends are still here and I’m closer to them than ever. Covid has certainly changed all of us forever, and we do not know what things will look like in cities when it is “over” but this comment is entirely your opinion and in no way objective fact.

    3. How difficult is it to get in and out of your city? There’s a world of difference between a city like NYC that takes a lot of time and effort to get in and out of versus a city like Philly that’s easily accessible by car and you can sometimes even find free parking if you know where to look. If you live in a city like Philly, you can still do all the things you’re used to, you’re only 20 minutes away from your favorite bars and restaurants. If you live in a city like NYC then I think it’s a harder choice because chances are good that your lifestyle will change a lot.

    4. So maybe the gym is on hold for now but – why not travel? Or go into your office? Ours is still “closed” but if you request to work from your office you’re allowed in…

      our dislikes for certain aspects of suburb living – like car dependence, worse restaurant or take-out choices, increased maintenance, increased space means more space to furnish and clean and care for – have yet to be outweighed by short-term pandemic issues.

      1. +1 DH has a 1 mile commute I have a 1/4 mile commute, no amount of suburban space would make us give up the luxuries of our urban row home. We are also food people (with dietary preferences) and would be absolutely miserable only having chain or second rate restaurant options. Whenever I visit my family in the burbs I’m constantly annoyed about how everything is an adventure, they drive to the grocery store, use an elaborate plan of Ubers and taxis for a night out, pre-planning getting a latte. It’s exhausting to manage all those things when I can just walk out my front door and see all those amenities.

      2. Post-WW2 it seems that a lot of 2 BR-1BA houses were built and those were perfect for me. I get why they are torn down now, but in some older areas they exist. Ditto garden apartments vs high rises. There are very few in-the-middle housing situations left these days it seems. I don’t need 4000 sq ft, but 1000 sq feet and having windows (vs “window”) is amazing.

        1. There’s a name for it – “Missing Middle”.
          I’m contemplating a move in the next couple of years and the one hard requirement is the new location can’t be more car dependent (and preferably not need a car at all). That rules out a lot in the US right now.

          1. I’m OK with driving 2 miles to work, but I want something I can walk to when I get home. Store? Restaurant? Park? Some shops / businesses? Yes, please. Also, I’d like to walk on a sidewalk.

          2. 2 miles is an easy walk or bike ride, or bus in a city with functional mass transit. Take cars out of the equation and you solve a lot of climate, affordability and storage problems.

          3. 2 miles in some areas is walkable, but in my city, my 2 miles is not safe at night due to needing to traverse on- and off-ramps (or go substantially out of my way) that are not really pedestrian safe in low light (even if I were to switch to a chartreuse coat). Co-workers who go in a different direction often walk or bike.

          4. If you take the car out of the equation, aren’t more people going to be in the same space, driving prices in the urban core up even higher?

          5. You can build more dwelling units when space isn’t take up by car storage. Look at how many cities’ downtowns (especially black and brown neighborhoods) were obliterated in the 1960’s for…. parking lots.

          6. I suppose someone with a lot of time, $, and raw land could do this, but I’m not that someone. Sorry.

          7. Cool, so keep on making the world a more dangerous, polluted place for the rest of us who aren’t well off.

        2. I just moved to a 2BR in a walkable neighborhood and am pretty happy (though I’ll be happier when I can walk to more places w/out pandemic considerations; part of me feels like I might as well have moved to a big gorgeous house in the middle of nowhere, but this pandemic wave will pass).

      3. Not just worse restaurant and take out choices, but worse (or no) choices in grocery stores and storefronts as to ready to heat, ready to eat, and ready to cook food. Depending on your location, out of the city may mean either you cook or you eat crap. I have a place in a city and a place in the sticks, and I eat much, much healthier in the city. Grocery store produce may be of poor quality too. Sometimes I joke that my rural grocery store options have their produce brought in pre-aged. In reality it’s likely the extra time and trouble it takes to get the produce to a non-hub area.

    5. In DC, can you go out a bit to get a SFH or townhouse vs a condo? It became life changing just going out a couple of miles where I could have one door to the outside vs lugging groceries up from a parking deck through a card-swipe door, up an elevator, down a hall, into my door, hopefully not locking myself out of leaving the car keys in the wrong place, etc. I still felt city enough vs the no-stoplight town my parents are from that is 3 hours away (OTOH, Tysons/Dulles can feel like 3 hours away in bad traffic).

    6. Have you fully explored whether you could afford anything with more space in the city? Like in a somewhat less convenient or cool neighborhood? Maybe even sell your current place and rent somewhere else for awhile?
      It sounds like what you miss is your lifestyle and that’s not going to improve in a bigger house, and you may be very frustrated with the suburban lifestyle and away from your community, so I’d be hesitant to make a huge purchase that you aren’t that excited about.

    7. Buy it. It’s 20 minutes away. It’s the suburbs not a tundra with no services.

  3. Any recommendations for an alarm clock to make waking easier? A recent move to a darker bedroom is creating morning challenges. If anyone has recommendations for an alarm clock such as a sunrise alarm or a sleep cycle clock, please share.

    1. I’ve had a Phillips Sunrise alarm clock for 5+ years and it’s still doing great. Of note, I keep it on the floor at the foot of my bed, so that it gradually lightens the room without blazing directly into my eyes (and so that I HAVE to get out of bed to turn it off). I’ve set the lighting period to a gradual increase over 20+ minutes, and most mornings I wake naturally before the alarm (birdsong!) goes off.

      1. We have the same one and it’s been doing well for at least 2-3 years. The only part that is annoying is that you basically have to use an app to do anything with it (reset the clock etc).

        1. Interesting, they must’ve updated the clock since I got it! Mine is a “dumb” one that you have to touch to reset. Hmm, can’t decide if an app would be more annoying or less…

    2. My current one is a Philips one, not a wireless or app based one, but lights, sound and radio.
      I set it to max light and no sound – the light doesn’t wake me up, but it makes it much more pleasant to wake up from my noisy alarm when the room is full of light.

      1. Same. I have the Philips SmartSleep Wake-up Light and use the light but no sound. It doesn’t have an app, I just push a button to set the alarm. It’s been an absolute game changer for me.

    3. I have a BioBrite that’s been going strong for at least 10 years now. It’s a sunrise and sunset. You can customize how long it takes to light up or dim too, which is nice.

    4. Thanks to ll who responded. Now to hunt down one that is actually available.

  4. Any recs for an all-in-one charging station that would charge both an iPhone and an Apple Watch? I have airpods but to my knowledge they’re not the ones with wireless charging, so I’d still need a cord for those, but that’s of smaller concern. Basically would love something on my nightstand where I could plop my phone and watch on there instead of searching around for cords in the dark (because I’m lazy).

    1. I had an issue like that which I solved simply. Have your boyfriend charge both before you get into bed. That’s what I did when I had a boyfriend. I did not want my ex to monitor his pulse when we were in bed, so I insisted that he take off his watch before we did it. In exchange, I agreed to charge it and our iphones when we got into bed. He was so happy to be able to do it that he always handed me his watch and I phone as soon as we went into the bedroom.

    2. I don’t know if it’s compatible with your phone (including case)/watch but I have the MagSafe duo charger from Apple that does exactly that – one spot for my phone and one spot for my watch.

  5. I need a book recommendation – I’m doing the War and Peace Big Read and am slogging through Fiona Hill’s book, but I need something fun as I’ve got a stressful few weeks ahead (finalizing marks for autumn term, prepping my spring course, getting all my outgoing study abroads sorted, and my own research which I’ve neglected). Something in the Jasmine Gilloury or Helen Hoang vein?

    1. Have you read Curtis Sittenfeld? Rodham is my favorite but they’re all good imho.

        1. Awesome – two more tries – Where the Forest Meets the Stars by Glendy Vanderah (just a great immersive novel) and The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas (YA but so enjoyable).

        2. Have you read any J. Courtney Sullivan? I think she’s kind of in the same vein as Sittenfeld. Friends and Strangers was an especially enjoyable read as a new-ish mom.

          1. I really liked Friends and Strangers! If you enjoy Sullivan you might also try Laura Hankin. Fluffier topics but super well written and plotted.

        3. Perhaps slightly off the wall but if you liked Sittenfeld and you haven’t yet read Brideshead Revisited, I would try that. I know it’s a classic so you probably already have, but it’s wonderful.

      2. She’s been one of my favorites for a long time. There is something about her observations about people that is gripping.

      3. She’s my favorite author. She writes about nerdy, awkward people so well and clearly I relate.

    2. If you like (dark) fantasy, I zipped through most of Naomi Novik’s scholomance books last fall when I was similarly looking for something fun. Also just read The Roommate by Rosie Danan, which was very light but quite raunchy. Evvie Drake Starts Over, maybe? And I think that author has a new book out.

      Also a plug for revisiting favorite childhood books when your brain needs a break: I love re-reading LM Montgomery or if you have a soft spot for Little Women, An Old Fashioned Girl is also a warm cozy formulaic favorite. (Listen, it is indeed extremely old fashioned and prone to sanctimony but it doesn’t bother me for some reason).

      1. +1 – I will sometimes go back and read the Betsy Tacy books when I need a total brain break. There are some mildly problematic aspects (not shocking given the age of the books). Daddy Long Legs is also a perennial ‘cheer me up’ favorite.

        1. Anne-on I might need to hear a list of all your favorites? Looove Daddy Long Legs.

          Adding The Blue Castle by LM Montgomery as a must in this same vein.

      2. Little Women is so, so much better to read as an adult. (As are a lot of books I read as a teen or tween – Jane Austen included. Both the humor and poignancy land much better with adult perspective.)

        1. For you Little Women fans, Geraldine Brooks “March” is from their dad’s perspective. Not super lighthearted, but very engaging.

    3. Have you read any Laura Wood? Her newest, A Single Thread of Moonlight, is delightful

      1. I loved A Sky Painted Gold and am trying to track down A Single Thread of Moonlight without having to order it from the UK. For a similar vibe, I discovered Eva Ibbotsen recently (via the Sentimental Garbage podcast) and am comfort-reading my way through her back catalogue. Wood wrote an intro to one re-issue, and Ella Risbridger wrote an intro to another.

        Like Jasmine Guillory – Beth O’Leary! I’m rationing The Road Trip in audio because it is so sharp and so much fun.

    4. Helen Hoang has a new book out using some of the same characters from her previous books, it’s great but a bit more serious as it deals with parental death/self harm/autistic burn out.
      I’ve recently read and really loved Casey McQuiston’s ‘One Last Stop’ (time travel lesbian romance) and her ‘red white and royal blue’ was delightful. Christina Lauren’s books are fizzy and fun – the Unhoneymooners is a favorite. You may also want to check out ‘The Hating Game’ (which I really loved – I adore super competent female protaganists kicking a$$ as part of the storyline) and it’s about to be a movie so that could be a fun weekend – book first then movie!

      1. +1 for the Helen Hoang book (The Heart Principle), Red White and Royal Blue, and the Unhoneymooners!

    6. Diksha Basu. The Windfall is excellent – very humorous, and the characters have substance. Destination Wedding, her second book, was entertaining but not as satisfying. Still good.

    7. Erotic Stories for Punjabi Widows by Balli Kaur Jaswal (she has other books but I haven’t read).
      The Hate U Give is excellent.

    9. The House in the Cerulean Sea was the most delightful book I read last year.
      The View Was Exhausting was also fun… British Indian movie star and fake romance that is perhaps not so fake…

      1. I loved the House in the Cerulean Sea so, so much, although part of the reason may have been that I had the audiobook and the narrator was fantastic.

        Some other light options:

        People we meet on vacation (basically a rom-com)
        Almost anything by Elinor Lipman
        City of Girls by Elizabeth Gilbert
        Finley Donovan is Killing It
        Anything by Carl Hiassen, most recently Squeeze Me

    10. The Idea of You if you don’t mind a little smut. It’s basically Harry Styles fan fic but it’s surprisingly moving.

  6. I need help with a toxic work situation. I work at an org that is incredibly dysfunctional and chaotic, but until recently I had an amazing boss who protected our team from the worst of the turf wars, politics, and thrash that dominate every day. She left two months ago (and warned me to get out as well) and it’s been hell every day since. I suppose the only good part is that I would have stayed as long as she was there, and now I’m seeing the place for what it really is.

    I am planning my exit strategy, but until then, how do I cope? I start every day with yoga and meditations and have “this is not normal” written on a Post-It above my computer, but none of it seems to matter when I get swept up in corporate drama, accusations, and cutthroat politics. Every day I feel like I’m fighting a losing battle. It’s starting to mess with my sanity. I have many friends at the org who aren’t in management so I do have some trusted confidants, but they’re all trying to jump ship as well.

    I have enough saved to be comfortable for a long time without any work, but I don’t want to quit without anything lined up. At the same time, I’m terrified that I will jump at the first thing and end up in an equally bad situation. You just never know when interviewing what you’re going to get. Places and people take time to reveal themselves, and I’ve been badly burned this time.

    Anyone been in this situation? How did you handle it? Please send me your tips, advice, or commiseration—I’m at the end of my rope here, and I’m scared of going from the frying pan into the fire, as it were.

    1. Have you started looking? People are changing jobs with incredible ease right now. If you jump and it’s as bad as where you are (very unlikely, imo), you can just jump again quickly and then leave the bad short term position of your resume.

      You can do this!

    2. Detach. Know that you are leaving and it’s no longer important to “win” the various battles or even to do a great job. Emotionally divest. Your ex-boss will undoubtedly make a great reference, so don’t worry too much what people at the current company think about you. Start your search to get a feel for the market for your work, and if the market seems good you can feel free to quit knowing that you’ll find something within whatever your comfortable timeframe is.

      1. This was the very best thing I did to disentangle myself from a toxic workplace.

      2. This is great advice, and advice I followed in my last toxic job, which daily made me question my own sanity. I didn’t know how long it would take me to get out, but I knew that one way or another, I was getting out. My goal then was no longer to be successful in that organization, but to do just enough that I wouldn’t leave a negative impression after I left, and to not burn any bridges with anyone. But I stopped caring about my job and thus freed myself emotionally from feeling like I had to put the time and effort in to make things work. I didn’t let any balls drop but I also didn’t volunteer for anything, I didn’t work more hours than I absolutely had to, I turned my work phone off on the weekends, I was very selective about after-hours messages I responded to (or sometimes even read), etc. It’s tremendously freeing and probably the only way for OP to stay mentally healthy while she’s searching.

    3. Separate yourself from which drama is truly “yours.” Swim in your own lane as much as you can. Also stop venting to coworkers and take down your sticky—it only gives it breath and ups you’re feelings that you are part of the pain (and you may soon be). These people are your references and network—you should try to stay neutral and professional. You never know who holds an alliance today or will develop one tomorrow. Most important, you need to get out. It’s always a gamble and you’ll move again if you need to. Try to separate your affection for your old boss and comfort with past processes from the new situation. You’ll get through this.

      1. This is really mature advice. I think my best moments are when I just don’t engage, don’t waste time complaining or being shocked, and carry on with my projects. (While looking for a new job if things are really bad.)

    4. QUIT. You’ve got the financial cushion to quit, so do it. And if ever there was a time when finding a new job was easy, it’s now.

    5. Could you reach out to your ex boss to ask if there are opportunities where she went? Or if she has suggestions for you?

  7. I tried to be less sloppy for work today by wearing a scarf. That was 30 minutes of my life I’ll never get back.

    I used to be able to whip one on in the winter in a couple of perfectly-imperfect styles. Now . . . not so much. Maybe I’ll try a wool/silk rectangular one vs a square silky one next, but I will never be that perfectly scarved woman in the Hermes (etc.) ads.

    1. I feel you. I’m a petite but curvy person. I don’t think short neck + large bust + scarf is a winning combination for professional attire.

      1. Choose a scarf shape or fold so that the scarf provides a vertical line. Elect for drape rather than bulk. Do not supersize it.

    2. Have you tried using a scarf ring? When I can’t get my scarves to do what I want via loops and knots, using a ring or brooch gives me more options.

      1. +1 – I use scarf rings if I don’t have the time/patience for tying a scarf. Also my personal favorite preference for wearing a scarf is tying it like a tie (which is pretty easy/fast) or wearing it with a tie pin/brooch if I want something sparkly. Also ‘Mai Tai Collection’ has amazing tutorials for different knots.

        1. OP here and yes, I’ve done the Mai Tai thing and even have one of her rings. And yet this morning devolved into a Hulk Smash mood in minutes.

    3. I love scarves. I collect them. I have some very beautiful swaths of silk that I enjoy looking at on my wall or in my closet. But I don’t have the neck to make them look good on me. I have more success with the rectangular ones that just drape, but I’m now convinced that one has to be a swan-necked goddess to make the squares work as part of an outfit.

    4. I hear you. I envy women who can add a scarf and somehow look effortlessly elegant. I add a scarf, and I instantly look like I and my seven children just got off the boat from the old country.

      That’s why I’m on Team Statement Necklace, now.

      1. I’m on Team Necklace in the summer (would not want my gunky sunscreen and/or oily skin rubbing off on nice scarves). But in the winter, I want a scarf ( = cloth necklace) in part for warmth. And I own a ton of them, like I actually got good at this and braiding hair and knitting, so why am I on the struggle bus with scarf tying / draping / etc.? I totally get how infinity scarves became a thing, but I want to do this varsity level (and will just flail and be grumpy I guess).

  8. My husband just got diagnosed with metastasized, stage 4 pancreatic cancer. I’m walking around like a zombie.

    7. Oh g*d. I am so, so sorry to read this. Sending you both love. If possible, let yourself take a couple days off.

    11. Hell. I’m so sorry. I hope you’re able to take emergency time off to hang out together and process and arrange therapy.

    13. I’m so sorry. Sending you and your husband the biggest possible virtual hugs!

    28. I am so, so sorry for what you and he are going through. I hope you have other supportive family to be with as well.

    34. Where are you living?
      Where is it metastasized?

      Can you get to Johns Hopkins for an opinion? They may able to give a telemedicine/remote 2nd opinion. They are the best in the country.

      You want the very best, academic specialist and surgeons who have seen the most of this cancer to treat your husband. There are treatments. There are things you can do. His youth and good health are in his favor.

      Call PanCan.org at talk to a patient advocate to get recommendations on doctors/clinical trials in your area that your husband can take advantage of. Ask every doctor you see about clinical trials.

      One step at a time. Keep breathing. And FIGHT! Apply for FMLA leave as soon as you are able.

      1. Respectfully, no one survives with stage 4 pancreatic cancer, no matter how young or healthy.

        The question is whether you want to go for aggressive treatment with the upside of some extension of life and downside of loss of quality of life.

        OP, I am so sorry, and I hope that you’re doing ok, and that you and your husband have some peace and comfort in this horrible time.

        1. I really hope you don’t work in health care. What a terrible post.

          I am an oncologist and have had family members with pancreatic cancer.

          1. You know what, thank you for replying with what you wrote at 12:46 because I just assumed there was nothing the OP or her husband would be able to do. And likely would have made that assumption if it was myself or my husband that got the same diagnosis. Those are questions I have saved in case we end up in the same situation; I don’t want to forget them.

    36. I am so, so sorry. If you need or want to – take the rest of the week off and just sit with the news. It is SO MUCH to take in. When a loved one was diagnosed, I couldn’t stop crying for days and I kept showing up to meetings with red, puffy eyes and apologies for being late, distracted etc. In retrospect, I wish I had just been kinder to myself by giving myself and my loved one time and space to process together.

      I am so sorry. This virtual stranger is sending you so much love, hugs and strength.

    37. This is terrible. I’m so sorry, and am joining with all the others in sending you virtual hugs and support. Depending on where you live and how much local family and friends you have, if you need support IRL I’m sure many of us here would offer it.

    39. i’m so sorry. my dad was diagnosed with the same thing about 3 months ago. make sure you take time if you need it. I def went back to work too early (in a healthcare field) and was should have taken more time.

      go at least once to your region’s highly rated academic medical center (Hopkins, Dana-Farber, USCF etc.) to see if a trial makes sense in the first-line setting. You can get in to be seen very quickly, likely within a week. make sure to get genetic testing, it’s indicated for anyone with pancreatic cancer and opens up potential treatment options down the line. if that hospital is far from home and they’re recommending standard chemo – stay at home. be comfortable. surround yourselves with the people who love and care about you.

      also i’m so sorry. lots will happen very fast…then there will hopefully be some time to come up for air. it’s a club that sucks to be in and i’m sorry you’re here with us.

    40. I am so, so sorry to hear this. I hope you instantly take leave from work and are able to find many tiny moments of joy in the time you have together. I know I speak for all of us reading this when I say we are sending love to you and your family.

    42. From an internet stranger, I so so sorry. A family member is also going through this.

  9. Following up on the California villainess from yesterday . . .

    Am I right in having a strong flashback to Amanda Woodward from Melrose Place? This is her vibe — elegant but relaxed but strong at the same time workwear with California footwear? While stealing your boyfriend? I like it (and this show IIRC being a yawn until her character arrived).

    Between this and Banana Republic’s excellent office/safari vibe, I am living contently in flashbacks right now (so much better than 2022).

    1. Remember the thing with Kimberly’s hair, when she pulled off the wig (or was she just pulling it back?) to reveal that scar? I can’t even remember what the story line was, just that terrifying moment.

  10. Piggybacking off of a comment above, are there any DC suburbs that are close-ish to the city but affordable (like houses under $600k)? I own a condo in DC that I like but I’m wishing I had more space and a yard. I’m single so I’m not looking to fully retreat to the suburbs and will eventually go back to working in a downtown office. Does an affordable neighborhood near-ish to the city exist?

    2. Hyattsville still has cute bungalows and small houses for about that. In Virginia, you are likely in a townhouse, but you would get a yard close to the city if you look at Fairlington or Warwick Village.

      1. Yes — and sometimes there are these duplex townhouses in N. Arlington around 20th Street b/w Lee Highway (Langston now?) and Troy / Taft streets. There are lots of things in pockets that haven’t been torn down (yet!) in that area and closer to Roslyn but it’s never going to be eye candy, just something small on a small lot probably not updated a lot. But you are on the bike path and can actually walk to Courthouse / Clarendon and Georgetown pretty quickly.

    3. Maybe near the EFC metro? Or is that too far out? So many tiny houses on tiny lots in some pockets of the Orange Line. I think that the lots are so small that it’s hard to redevelop so maybe there? I’d be reluctant to go full-on car dependent (but I have a car and like having a driveway for it vs parking garage or fighting for street parking).

      Signed,
      Tiny House that will only be featured in a homes magazine as a “before” shot (but I’m not hearing my highrise neighbors fight any more)

      1. Sorry, but LOL on finding anything below $600k near EFC metro. If anything like that exists, it’s getting bought by a developer in cash and torn down for a $1.8M (or maybe even $2.2M!) craftsman style McMansion.

        I agree on Park Fairfax and Fairlington. Also there are some (very small) townhouses or duplexes along S. Glebe Rd in Arlington east of 395. They might be in that price range. Don’t expect more than 2 bedrooms or 1 bathroom.

        Signed, someone whose $600k budget for a 3br townhouse meant being nearly completely priced out of Arlington and Falls Church.

    4. Consider ParkFairfax and Fairlington. They were built as Pentagon housing during WWII and have beautiful huge oak trees, little parks, etc. ParkFairfax units are generally smaller; Fairlington was built with families in mind. I lived in ParkFairfax as a singleton in a 2/1/900 and loved it beyond measure. ParkFairfax is legally condos, but they’re not like modern high rises and certain units have lovely little courtyards. Busses run regularly to the Pentagon metro (about 15 minutes) – I commuted daily to Farragut West and it was about an hour all-told (walk to the bus stop, wait, etc). There are several little vintage strip malls nearby with a neighborhood wine shop, ice cream parlor, dry cleaner, etc, and a Safeway is just around the corner. My time there has some of my happiest memories of my adulthood.

    5. I live in Sliver Spring and still get Redfin alerts from our townhome purchase a couple of years ago. I do get notifications about homes in the area in that range about 20 minutes from the SS metro or closer to Forest Glen, or over in Kensington/ Homewood if you’re open to the MARC train. They tend to be smaller and older, but they do exist.

  11. The house situation comes up a lot, often when you aren’t married. Sally has a house (and kids or parents). Sam moves in. They pay for the house together. They don’t get married. Sally dies unexpectedly. The kids get the house and can lock Sam out (or the parents). It gets really sticky where Sally’s mom had the house and then moved to Florida and added Sally to the deed so it would pass to her upon the mom’s death (but Sally really can’t add Sam to the title, even if they marry). That’s really not a fun situation but it comes up a lot. I also know kind people who just deal with it (like a couple letting the guy’s MIL live in a trailer on the land (prior wife died vs divorce, hence the peace) because in a small town you don’t just turn people out (sometimes).

  12. I have a three day weekend (yay) but Covid is raging in my city and the weather looks bad (ugh). What would you do with a long weekend at home living alone? I had plenty of lazy days over the holidays so that doesn’t sound appealing to me and I’m out of ideas.

    1. I would do a massive cooking or baking project – something that involves like 15 steps and 6 hours – and then I would invite someone over to eat it with me while watching a long escapist movie.

      1. Agree on cooking and baking. You could do one big thing or also focus on stocking your fridge and freezer with stuff like roasted veggies for the week, cookies, bread or muffins, soup, pesto, baked pasta dishes, etc. (everything but the veggies freeze well).

      2. +1 I just recently watched Claire Saffitz’s NYTimes video on making croissants, and that’s a 2-day project that’s calling my name.

      3. +1, my go-to is homemade pasta with a complicated sauce. Bolognese is my go-to. Maybe make it a lasagna. You don’t need a pasta maker (but helps if you have one), and it’s very hands on/intense.

    2. Minor house project? Getting stuff in order that you won’t want to do when the weather is nicer and covid subsides? Then mix in some relaxation time, with a phone or video call with a friend.

    3. Paint a room or a door a fun color. That’s a longer project than it seems but really rewarding.

    4. This is me. Things I will likely do:
      1) Take one day to do all of the errands, cleaning, stupid little things that I keep putting off including any medical stuff I need to submit for reimbursement (just so it’s all done)
      2) One day reading/knitting by the fireplace – I know this is “lazy day” vibes but it’s at least different than watching tv all day
      3)Try and see some friends who have been as careful as I have been. Maybe a game night.

      1. Just advice from an old. ALWAYS submit any FSA reimbursement ASAP. I was comfortably in a 6-year job where I had just had an outstanding performance review and gotten a raise–when about three weeks later I found myself on a call with HR telling me they had eliminated my position. You instantly lose access to that account. I had more than $2,500 in receipts that I should have gotten reimbursed for. I will never make that mistake again!

          1. Really? OP here. I had a friend lose money this way with two jobs as well. I wonder if it is rules with the benefits administrator then? I was told it was the flipside of if you leave and haven’t fully funded the amounts with paychecks yet that you don’t have to pay it back.

    5. Get your taxes ready? Weather will be better later, so why not spend the time now when you can’t do many funner things with it.

      Also: go through pantry, throw out canned goods that expired in 2018.

        1. Can you pencil in with your final 2021 pay stub? And many 1099s have arrived, so yay for them.

        2. I changed jobs, overcontributed to my new 401k (despite my best efforts to calculate and guess the timing), and had to file for a revision. 2021 taxes are going to be a clusterfudge.

    6. A deep clean, room by room. All the house projects I’ve been putting off. Organizing all of my cabinets and closets and getting rid of clutter. I usually put a fun movie or tv show on for good background noise.

      Trying on everything in my closets and dresser and getting rid of things that don’t fit or don’t spark joy, then listing the castoffs on Poshmark.

      I also like the idea of a time-intensive recipe!

      These are my three day weekend plans, personally.

    7. I just got my new Fitbit going (got it for Christmas — totally get that I’m the last person on earth to get one, and I also totally get that Big Brother is now following me even more) so I am spending the weekend taking All The Steps.

  13. Is there a noticeable difference between the tissue turtlenecks at jcrew and jcrewfactory? i know that they are a popular item and i want to see what all the raves are about.

    1. I think they are roughly equal in quality but good for layering only from either source – even the dark colors are, indeed, tissue.

  14. Fun question for today – my husband and I are daydreaming about a trip this fall for our anniversary and have been thinking about doing Lyon, France to Turin, Italy with a stop in Annecy as well. Anyone have great lodging, restaurant, or activity recommendations in any of those places? Thanks in advance.

    1. No recommendations, but looks like a wonderful trip. My sister lived in Lyon during her studies and we enjoyed it during my visits. Since you are going that directions, you might consider a stop at lake Geneva on the Swiss side – just to get a taste of Swiss mentality.

    2. No recs (I went to Annecy as a teen with my family, and haven’t been to the other two) but this sounds like a dreamy trip!

      1. Not planning to go, only person in my house with a valid passport at the moment, and this was nice to just click through during my at-desk lunch. Merci!

    4. There’s a hilltop church (La Basilique Notre Dame de Fourvière) with great views of the city below and nearby Roman theater ruins in Lyon. Lyonaise cuisine is too rich for my taste so I don’t have many recommendations except remembering that we liked our dinner at Brasserie Georges. It rained a lot when we were there and our main purpose was to visit a friend in Grenoble so we didn’t get to explore Lyon as much as I would’ve liked. Have fun! Annecy will be so pretty.

    5. Is this on the route of the new Frecciarossa train? Check out the Seat 61 webs ite for ideas regarding train travel

  15. just a PSA, there is a MAJOR blood shortage. If you can donate, please do! I myself required a blood transfusion after my c section with my twins, so thank you to all the donors out there.

    2. Yeah, I would have had a transfusion a couple days ago if it weren’t for this. As it is we are waiting it out. Unfortunately all the Seattle blood appointments are booked out until Feb so it’s not like people aren’t trying.

    3. Yeah, I would have had a tr*nsfusion a couple days ago if it weren’t for this. As it is we are waiting it out. Unfortunately all the Seattle blood appointments are booked out until Feb so it’s not like people aren’t trying

    5. Is there a possibility to donate *less* than the usual amount of blood?
      I ask because I have low blood pressure and the one time I tried donating I ended up with dizziness/shakiness and weakness all day. I also tend to get this way with sudden standing up, etc.
      However with blood draws/blood tests where they do a couple test tubes, I haven’t had these effects. So I’m wondering if my reaction is related to the quantity of blood drawn.

      1. Nope. They need a full bag. Have you thought about trying to donate platelets instead? I can’t because my baby veins are too small, but it might be a viable alternative for you. Obviously, I’m not a medical professional and you should discuss this with the phlebotomist.

      2. Anon with low blood pressure: See if you’re eligible for what the US Red Cross calls a Power Red donation (search that term). It returns your plasma and platelets so volume loss is less.

  16. Recs for sunscreen for face and not too expensive? I usually use neutrogena but wouldn’t mind something a little easier to spread…I’m trying to prevent wrinkles, not create them! Thanks!

    1. Hello sunscreen aficionado here and my #1 SPF recommendation is Cetaphil Sheer Mineral Face Liquid Drops. You can find it in any drugstore for ~$15, it feels nice on the skin and is easy to spread, no white cast once you rub it in, and Zinc Oxide is the gold standard sunscreen filter in the US.

      1. Thank you! I’ve never heard of those drops, I’ll check it out. I do like CeraVe products, and I feel like Cetaphil is sort of similar, so perhaps a great option. Thanks!

    3. I am a nut for MISSHA – All-Around Safe Block Essence Sun SPF45 PA+++ despite the ridiculous paragraph of a name.

      1. Indeed! Not to mention the different versions (sun milk?! Soft finish?!). Maybe I’ll buy a small bottle of the regular stuff!

    4. I’d be curious what people have to say about aveeno, neutrogena, cerave, cetaphil and sunbum please…they all seem decent but the reviews for cerave and cetaphil say they leave a white cast. Thanks!

      1. I’ve got both Aveeno and Cerave SPF 30 moisturizer in my medicine cabinet at the moment. I prefer the Aveeno. I am left with fewer tiny white splotches that I missed when applying. But it’s been a while since I tried to put on makeup on top.

      2. I’m a black woman and little lighter than Kerry Washington complexion. I can’t fit neutragena because it leaves a white cast. Aveeno is fine and doesn’t leave a white cast. I prefer Mario Badescu Oil Free Moisturizer SPF 30 as my daily SPF because no white cast.

    5. I highly recommend Euro or Japanese s/s – they are cosmetically elegant and far more protective than US sunscreens. My current favorite is Biore watery essence. They are slightly more expensive than US sunscreens but not prohibitively so, IMO.

    6. I really like the Biossance sunscreen (100% non-nano zinc). Not cheap but not super expensive. It does not leave a white cast on my skin (but I am also very fair). Not greasy.

    7. Supergoop Unseen. Goes on like a makeup primer and leaves no residue. I use this for everyday sunscreen. My beach sunscreen is different.

    8. Glossier Invisible Shield. It’s more of a gel so it goes on easily with no white cast.

    9. You all have great recommendations, both drugstore and alternatives. I know a few folks who also like supergoop (a bit pricey, but seems fantastic) and am keen to try the others…one at a time, especially now that we’re headed toward spring and summer. Thank you!

    2. I see pictures of actors on sets using these shields that sit on your face like glasses. They look less annoying than shields with head straps. Link to follow.

    3. I wear non-prescription glasses for dry eyes that also happen to provide good Covid protection. I purchased from Ziena, which is very high quality but expensive. Google tells me that there are less expensive versions available. If you Google “Ziena dry eye glasses” various options will come up.

    4. A friend just recommended Stoggles to me. I bought them but haven’t used them yet.

  18. Adding to the request for alarm clocks… Can anyone recommend a simple and small footprint alarm clock with a radio function? Most of what I am seeing online have terrible reviews. Thanks!

    1. Following. The ones we have are wretched and seem to reset time randomly and buttons are too small / unlabled and I just want to throw it or beat it with a bat.

  19. Related to the above weekend plans – what is your go to dish to make ahead and freeze?

    1. This is probably a bit ambitious for anyone who doesn’t have my husband, but turkey pot pies. My husband cooks a turkey in some…boy appliance…out in the driveway (I think it’s an infrared cooker maybe? not a deep fryer), and then he shreds the meat for me and I make a huge pot of the filling on the stove (frozen mixed veggies make it easy), then pour it into glass pie plates I’ve picked up at Goodwill for $1, top with refrigerated pie crust, wrap and freeze. We keep them in the spare freezer in the garage and have 8-12 healthy, homemade meals with only one round of cooking!

      I also like to freeze Manhattan clam chowder (frozen veggies there too!).

        1. Haha, like seriously, no woman would buy this oversized, couple hundred dollar, once-a-year appliance that requires its own propane tank and takes up however many square feet in the garage ? But I do really love that the oven is free on Thanksgiving and that I can just focus on the side dishes! And he loves his toy, so I think I win!

    2. TBH, buttercream frosted cupcakes.

      But probably more helpful: chili or curry frozen in individual servings so I can grab one for lunch on my way out the door to work.

    3. Soup. I made big pots of vegetable soup and chicken stew one day over the holidays and froze it in individual servings (I had enough containers, but you can also freeze soup in Ziploc bags). We’ve been heating it up for quick lunches and it’s been great on days when I just don’t want to think about what to have for lunch. I made and froze corn muffins to accompany the soup and that’s also worked out well.

    4. I like to make a batch of pizza dough and freeze it in pizza-size portions — it only takes about an hour to thaw and pizza is a great way to use up leftovers like cooked chicken! (Pro tip — freeze pizza sauce in an ice cube tray — two or three cubes is just enough for a 10-inch pizza!)

      Also I had a lot of honey baked ham and Hawaiian rolls leftover from a party a while back and made and froze little sandwhiches — they thaw by lunchtime and I’m having a couple for lunch today!

      1. Can you please share how you freeze and then use the pizza dough? Do you let it rise again after it thaws?

        1. No, I was really surprised that you just get it completely ready to use (I do a one-hour rise in a bowl, then divide it into pizza-size balls and let rise for another 20 minutes), then wrap it up (I use plastic wrap sprayed with nonstick spray), and stick it in the freezer. When it thaws it’s good to go.

          1. Interesting. I have made my own pizza dough for years but I have never frozen it…thank you!

    6. I’m more likely to freeze meal components than complete dishes. I cook big batches of beans and grains and freeze some for later. I make pesto out of any leftover herbs and then freeze in ice cubes trays for use on pizza, pasta, or sandwiches (transfer to a ziploc once its frozen). I also freeze lots of baked goods so that I always have fresh baked bread, corn bread, muffins, cookies, etc.

    7. Ina Garten’s meatloaf
      Also: DoubleTree Chocolate Chip Cookies! I portion the cookie dough onto individual squares of parchment paper so I can freeze them on the parchment and then bake off just one or two when I want a fresh chocolate chip cookie. They bake well from frozen. They are also extra fab with some Maldon sea salt flakes on top just before they go in the oven! Yum!

        1. I freeze these, too but generally just dump them in a ziploc once they’re frozen — hadn’t thought about freezing on individual parchment!

    8. #1 Cabbage Rolls
      Other than that I tend to make batches of veg side dishes: Rotkohl (braised red cabbage), Beets cooked in the IP, pumpkin Puree (Halloween), cranberry sauce. Raw or cooked meatballs and raw hamburgers.

  20. Latest email etiquette rant: why does one of my coworkers add “Please confirm receipt” in the text of his emails instead of using the read receipts feature?

    (I mean, maybe he doesn’t know how to use it. I’m trying not to be mean-spirited. But like.)

    1. Different strokes, I suppose. I DETEST the read receipt feature but happily confirm receipt of email with an actual typed response (something I do anyway).

      1. Same here. I despise the “read receipt” function and I always turn it off and never send those auto-responses. It feels intrusive to me. Like, it’s none of your business when or whether I’ve opened your message. If someone said, “Please confirm receipt,” I would respond to that request when I’m ready to. I’d much rather receive that request than be forced to see and click the dumb box that pops up and asks me whether to send a read receipt.

    2. Read receipts are useless at best and irritating at worst so I don’t blame him for asking for an affirmative response. Most of the time-

      1. recipient scrolls past an email and it looks like they read it because it’s no longer “unread” but they didn’t actually process it
      2. recipient has “read receipt” setting set at “never send”
      and or
      3. recipient sees the receipt pop up and is immediately annoyed at the sender for micromanaging their inbox

      1. +1 to all of this. Yesterday I was walking around wondering if we had MLK Jr. Day off because I hadn’t seen an email about it. My coworker informed me that we do have the day off, and we did receive an email on Tuesday. Sure enough, it was in my inbox, marked “read.” This happens to me a lot. I try to take half an hour at the end of each day to review my inbox, reply to anything quick, and fill out my time sheet for the day.

    3. Because some people automatically send read receipts and he is inviting you to engage in further discussion about what he is sending. This is the difference between hand written notes and typed notes – one takes more thinking and has better encoding into memory.

      1. This. It is a courteous way to ask the recipient to acknowledge receipt of your email/letter/correspondence. I use it when I am sending an important and large file attachment. You send the email with file attachment and then send a separate email advising that you sent the file across and please confirm receipt (in case enterprise spam filters prevent your email with important file attachment from going through to important recipient).

    6. I will do this when I’m sending a big deliverable, not on everyday stuff. I don’t want to hear “where is xyz?” and have to re-send the email and document and make my client look like they aren’t paying attention (which actually is the case) – that’s more passive aggressive to me.

    7. Without causing a fence, I usually only send this for a very large files that I am afraid will get caught in a spam filter, or for people who are not good about replying to my emails in a timely manner. You might consider if that’s the case.

  21. I’m looking to bake salty snacks with my kid who is not into sweets at all.
    Any recipes out there you like? Bonus points if cute cookie cutters are involved…

    1. No cookie cutters, but I love half baked harvest chex mix. Now that I think about it, I think there’s a recipe for goldfish on half baked harvest that would involve cookie cutters.

    2. homemade tortilla chips! You can buy soft tortillas and cut them into any shape you want. Deliciously salty! Addictive.

    4. How about some focaccia bread with the toppings laid out all fancy like a painting?

  22. Looking to purchase a laptop to replace our million year old “family computer” as well as a Chromebook or similar for second grader. Laptop will be used for mainly web browsing, paying bills, working on family budgets, etc. Don’t want to spend more than I need to but also want to have something that’s not a tablet that is reliable and easy to work on. Chromebook will be used for kid to participate in remote learning if needed (ugh) and perhaps play a few games via apps from school. Again, just want something very basic and don’t want to spend beyond what’s needed. Thanks in advance for any tips or recommendations!

    2. Strongly recommend getting a solid state drive if you will be running Windows. It’s terribly slow nowadays on disk drives. I bought an HP off Amazon for around $450 and then had to switch out the drive, but post that upgrade it’s great for what you mentioned.

  23. Going on an unexpected trip to Jamaica this Monday-Sat, staying at Ocean Coral Spring. Anyone with experience or advice? I will be spending most of my time there alone as I’m accompanying on another’s work trip but have never been to Jamaica. I also found out that my phone (b00st m0bile) doesn’t have service there, so it’ll be texting only when on property or anywhere with wifi, which makes me a tad nervous.

    1. I don’t have any Jamaica-specific tips, but in many countries it’s easy to get a local cheap phone and/or SIM. You could also probably get something suitable in the US before leaving.

    2. have a quarantine plan. i know someone who tested positive while there and got stuck

    3. Sign up for the Club Mobay Departure Lounge at the airport. Well worth it. And then eat All.The.Jamaican.Beef.Patties there. They were particularly delicious.

  24. Funeral question:
    DH’s grandmother died. He is the only son of her only daughter. He flew across the country for the funeral; I stayed home with our young kids (one of which is currently quarantining).

    Do we/I send funeral flowers? If yes, are they from me (not there) or us? Or no because DH is the immediate family for which the flowers are intended?

    I asked DH and he shrugged/didn’t care/didn’t know.

    Thoughts?

      2. Agreed. If it’s not a financial burden, send flowers from your name & the kids’ names.

    2. I don’t think it’s right or wrong if your husband doesn’t care. I’d probably send them from you and the kids.

    3. I’d send flowers from the whole family. It’s really for the benefit of the grandmother’s only daughter. Also your MIL will assume the flowers were ordered by you anyway, and would probably think it’s odd if you didn’t add your spouse’s name to the card.

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