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Updated: Jun 15, 2022 119 Comments · by

Suit of the Week: Mango

Suit of the Week |

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For busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional.

Mango has a ton of colors in this affordable, sleek fitted suit – including hot pink, olive green, and black, navy, and gray. It's available in sizes 2-12, but allegedly “fits small” — so keep that in mind. (They actually have a ton of nice blazers at the moment, many with matching pants.)

While it looks like Mango has closed their separate plus-size store Violeta, they do still have smaller plus sizes for some clothes — for example, this classic suit goes up to a size 22.

The pictured blazer is $79, and the pants are $49. Nice. (Although — does anyone else find it strange that the stylist laced the sandals over the pants?)

This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

Sales of note for 10.10.24

  • Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
  • Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
  • Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
  • Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
  • J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
  • J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
  • Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
  • M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
  • Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
  • Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
  • White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. Recruiting event?

    Posting again this afternoon to hopefully get more visibility.
    Background, I’m an incoming MBA student, the event dress code was described as “casual attire” and almost all of the students attending are not currently working, so everyone knows we are dressing for this event specifically.
    I’m coming from tech, where overdressing is often more of a sin than underdressing, so to me, wearing a sheath dress to an event described as “casual” seems like a bad idea, but perhaps that’s the right move with sandals?
    I have plenty of time to order something, so suggest away – I ordered one of the options someone else linked this morning.

    For those of you who work for an MBB or similar, what would you wear to this recruiting event?
    Dress code is described as casual attire, and it’s at 7 PM at an outdoor bar.
    I was thinking casual, but conservative sundress (my default outside in the heat anyway) with flat sandals, and a shoulder or cross body bag to keep my hands free.
    I’m coming from tech, where casual means leggings, and I’m going to assume that’s not the same here.

  2. SSJD

    Great suit!
    Seeking tips and recommendations for a trip to Rome in September. I am traveling with my husband (leaving our kids home). We plan to be in Rome for almost a week. Reservations have been made at a hotel in an excellent location for touring.
    Please suggest things to do, advance planning needed, books to read (I love to read before the trip), resources, do/don’t advice, etc.
    Thanks!

    • Anon

      Rome is one of my favourite places in the world but sadly I haven’t been in many years. Bring something to cover your shoulders, like a light scarf, when you enter a church. And eat lots of gelato. We also did a day trip to Florence to see the Uffizi. It was a great day trip but I would not want to spend more than a day or two there, we much preferred Rome.

      • Anon

        We spent five days in Florence and absolutely loved it and didn’t feel bored at all (one day was a day trip to the Tuscan countryside, so 4 days in the city itself) but I agree that with a week you can just stay in Rome, which is also wonderful.

        For food in Rome my favorites were Gelateria La Romana, Osteria 44, and Ristorante Sofia. We did a food tour of Trastevere and guided tours of the Colosseum and Vatican and felt they were all worth the money and I’m not a big guided tour person.

        • Anon

          Yes, we also did guided private tours of the Colosseum and the Vatican and it made a huge difference! And we happened to be there on a day the Pope was holding an audience so we wandered in and got to see the Pope, which was kind of cool.

    • Anonymous

      Context Travel is a great company for tours – very knowledgeable expert tour guides. I did a Colosseum Tour with them a number of years ago and it was amazing. I believe they only hire historians, professionals, etc.

    • Anonymous

      If you like Roman ruins, Ostia Antica is an easy day trip and sort of a “mini Pompeii.”(not as well preserved because it wasn’t, you know, covered by a volcano, but still interesting). Plus, bonus, there is a small pyramid by the train station you leave from, so that’s cool. Definitely recommend doing an early or late tour of the Vatican museums to try to avoid crowds (though I think night tours are only in the summer). Guided tours of the Colosseum are also worth it to avoid the lines.
      (in contrast to above poster, I like Florence more, but they’re both great.)

    • Marie

      I loved my stay in Rome and Florence. I agree with the recc to take a day trip into Florence, and that part of that day should be spent at the Uffizi. If you are going to the Vatican, I highly recommend booking a semi-private tour, especially one that can get you in earlier than when it opens to the public. If you do go yourself, get in line early and walk straight through to get to the Sistine Chapel, as it will get extremely crowded quickly and it is nice to have the space to take it in unobstructed by wall-to-wall bodies. You can then work your way back through the rest. Eat all of the food, drink all the wine, and of course, don’t miss the gelato. I am getting so nostalgic just thinking about this trip, as it was my absolute favorite!

    • Anon

      Rome is one of my all time favorite cities – so jealous! It can get hot so make sure to drink plenty of water (you can refill from the water fountains around the city, the water is fine to drink) and eat plenty of gelato! My favorite is Gelateria del Teatro. Obviously there’s a ton to see, and none of it was underwhelming so choose what you’re most interested in. It is worth it to pay to skip entry lines. Definitely get a meal in the Jewish quarter, and also build some time in to wander around Trastevere, which isn’t really off the beaten path but is less touristy than other parts of Rome. The Basilica di San Crisogono was one of my favorite things to see, as you can pay like 2 euros and go down to the ruins of an early Christian church below the current-day basilica. For a quick meal I really enjoyed Trapizzino. Have an amazing time!

    • Notagirl

      A bit late but heartily seconding Villa Borghese (we needed to book way back, they only let small groups in) for the art, the villa itself, location and overall very different museum experience.

      Resist the urge to sit in any cafe near fountain Trevi or the Spanish stairs – it’s a crowded tourist experience with mediocre food and coffee and a rip-off (but obviously visit the fountain and the stairs if they interest you).

      Trasteverre has at least as many locals as tourists and some of the best food we ate. Try the fried rice snacks there – forgot their name but they are essentially true Italian street food
      .
      If you like churches – St-Paul’s-Outside the walls was very different from anything else and totally worth the short trio by metro.

      The food in supermarkets is amazing – for lunch we would somettimes just grab bread, prosciutto, olives and wine and picnic ex. on Palatine hill.

      All the espresso and gelattto.

  3. cold tofu help

    I love food, but often need to eat something very fast and want to start adding more tofu in my diet.

    What is your easiest, and tastiest tofu cold dish? I want to literally have everything already in my fridge/kitchen to throw together so I can be eating it in like 3 minutes. No marinating. No cooking.

    I love Asian flavors, so I’m sure one will include soy sauce, sesame oil etc… but I want it is fast a streamlined as possible. I am willing to buy a few key seasonings etc. to have in the cupboard if you recommend them.

    Also let me know which kind of tofu you recommend for the dish (ex. silken, firm etc…).

    Thank you!

    • Anon

      This with tofu instead of chicken: https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1020970-turmeric-black-pepper-chicken-with-asparagus

      I loooove this and make it all the time: https://www.bonappetit.com/recipe/tofu-and-summer-vegetable-curry

      This requires some specialty ingredients and it’s a little complicated, but if you get a good mise en place going, it’s actually quite fast: https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1021459-mapo-tofu

      Love a good bowl of some kind with tofu on top, like this one: https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1020530-baked-tofu-with-peanut-sauce-and-coconut-lime-rice or this: https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1021200-crispy-tofu-with-cashews-and-blistered-snap-peas

      Most tofu recipes I use tell you which kind of tofu to use. I think I almost exclusively cook with firm.

    • Anon

      As a long time vegetarian and vegan, this seems like an impossible ask if you want the tofu to be remotely attractive to eat. If tou want it in three minutes and you don’t want to press it, marinate it, or cook it, you are basically eating it right out of the container with seasoning and that is BLECH city.

      I am hopeful someone can prove me wrong though!

      • Duckles

        I go tofu jerky for a snack and baked tofu for everything else. You can put baked tofu right on a sandwich or salad cold.

      • AIMS

        I get seasoned baked tofu from the health food store and it’s pretty decent straight from the package.I add it to salads, noodles, or just eat as is.
        Also – OP, the same health food store sells prepared tofu noodle dishes that are reasonably tasty( it as good as freshly made but good enough when time is an issue). I think the brand is called Macro Vegetarian & I am specifically thinking of their Tokyo Buckwheat Soba noddles, but they have other options. A vegan friend basically ate them all thru her maternity leave because it was so easy. You can warm them up or just eat as is. I sometimes add the baked tofu to them but they do have some already.
        Also, on the off chance you’re in NYC, Zabar’s has some really awesome tofu salads premade (cucumber tofu is my favorite). Delicious straight from the fridge. You can certainly make all this ahead of time, too, if you’re so inclined.

    • Anonymous

      I’d just buy baked tofu and throw it in a salad or make a sandwich. It comes seasoned in different flavors.

      • cold tofu help

        Where? What brand/flavor do you get that’s decent? Most of what I have read doesn’t recommend many.

        I also have to do home delivery of groceries so it is hard for me to get to specialty stores that might have more choice.

    • MK

      You’ll have a lot more options if, once a week, you drain and press a couple containers of tofu, then bake it. The key to crispy tofu is corn starch! Batch cook it in advance and then you 3 minute dishes are possible.

    • Allie

      I love tofu but I think it does need to be cooked. I recommend baking marinated tofu and keeping it on hand and then adding it to a big salad.

    • Anonymous

      Given your desires, I would recommend buying packaged, pre-seasoned, baked tofu. It’s great. I think I buy Nasoyu brand or something like that, but I’ve had others and they have all been good. I just cut a piece and eat it as a snack with nothing.

    • Anon

      I’m willing to eat ma po tofu cold, in which case I would just have the sauce prepped and the cilantro chopped ahead of time. I prefer silken tofu for this dish. I’m okay eating it uncooked so long as it’s been rinsed.

      I used to eat a lot of chilled soba with tofu. I forget what seasonings I used.

      Does your grocer sell pre-seasoned tofu packs? They are pretty convenient (e.g., smoked tofu).

    • Blueberries

      Not sure if this is available nationally, but in the Bay Area, Hodo 5 spice tofu is great right out of the package.

      • cold tofu help

        I don’t know this! I am in Chicago and am always disappointed with my options here that are easy to get. But I will search for this brand. Thanks!

      • cold tofu help

        Fantastic recs. I always love anything that grandma used to make. Thank you for sharing.

    • Anon

      I am Korean. I generally only eat tofu uncooked if it is silken tofu and mixed/topped with a soy sauce based sauce (think soy sauce + rice vinegar + some Korean red pepper chili flakes). This is actually quite tasty. But go easy on the soy sauce. I would recommend the Pulmuone brand sold at h-mart or other Korean supermarkets.

      • cold tofu help

        Yes, I saw and printed this Korean recipe and it looks great. I appreciate your confirmation!

    • Anonymous

      Have you tried the tofu nuggets from Hodo Tofu? They’re already spiced (my faves being the Chinese 5 Spice and Thai Curry) and you can eat them cold. If I’m in a pinch I eat them with some leftover rice I heat up in the microwave. Add some salad vegetables and you’ve got all bases covered.

    • cold tofu help

      Thanks so much everyone.

      Look like the safest thing is trying some of the pre-made baked options and/or baking a big batch in bulk to have at hand. But I love the sound of the Korean silken tofu option.

      I will try all of your ideas, and really appreciate any recs you have. Especially if they are tasty!!

    • Anonymous

      Chilled soft silken tofu, Japanese-style. Drizzle some ponzu sauce or soy sauce on it, top with a sliced scallion and a bit of grated ginger, enjoy.

    • Anan

      My favorite snack is extra firm tofu, eaten right of of the package, drizzled with soy sauce and sesame oil and covered with kimchi.

    • Anonymous

      My all time favorite is Jenny’s Five Spice Tofu. Its made by a woman owned business in Chicago. They sell it at Whole Foods (both in the vegan mean/tofu area and salad bar). I’ve also seen it at other midwest groceries when I travel. I’ve tried so many ways to dupe it at home. Its amazing. (Raw, marinated tofu, thinly sliced).

        • Chicago Tofu

          Hi – late comment but seconding Jenny’s /Phoenix Bean. They have baked seasoned tofu and it’s of different options of tofu with sauce (most spicy) that are delicious – I most often eat cold out of the package, though they’re also good with rice. You can pick up at local stores/farmers markets or from the factory itself on Broadway in Edgewater – it’s a favorite!!

          • Chicago Tofu

            Sorry – meant to say at the factory and local stores they have lots of different options of tofu with sauce (ma po tofu, spicy tofu with eggplant, etc.) in addition to just the seasoned baked tofu.

  4. SSJD

    Kudos to Kendra Scott for **excellent** customer service today. My daughter received a hand-delivered gift (no gift receipt). The clasp on the new necklace is broken. I looked at the brand’s website where I immediately found a phone number and calling it got me to a real person! She was able to help me very quickly with few hoops to jump through (just had to send some photos). A replacement is already mailed out, and I was given a label to use to ship to them the faulty item. So.good! This is my first experience with the brand, and I want to offer high praise!

  5. Jo April

    Quince washable silk tees and tanks — are they fitted or boxy? I’m considering adding a few to my wardrobe, but they look pretty loose on the models.

    • Vicky Austin

      I’d say they’re a good middle-ground between fitted or boxy, but they run short, so size up.

    • Bonnie Kate

      I’m wearing one of the tanks right now! I agree they’re a good middle ground. I don’t love things being boxy or too fitted, and they blend the line quite well. They are cropped but not nearly as bad as I was anticipating since everyone warns about that; I actually really like them since most of my jeans are mid or high waisted. I’m wearing mid-waisted jeans today and it’s perfect length.

      I will say – I got the ivory and it comes lined, which is wonderful and it’s not see through exactly, but idk if I just need a new bra or something but I can see the outline/shape of it anyway – like the shadow of how it falls. I’m not used to silk though, so maybe it’s par for the course? am considering just wearing a bandeau bralette next time to see if it’ helps smooth it out more.

      • Vicky Austin

        I also have that issue with the ivory! Which is such a bummer, because I think they really wanted it to not be see-through.

        • Bonnie Kate

          that makes me feel better it’s not just me! it is a bummer! it is otherwise a perfect stable for me and I’ll be getting more colors.

          • Vicky Austin

            I ordered two in like 2020 – the ivory and the navy. I started out by wearing the ivory and got so irritated with the liner, the added bulk for no added opacity, etc – and left them both to gather dust for a while. Turns out, the navy is my FAVORITE SHIRT OF ALL TIME. Who knew?!

  6. anon

    How does one shop around for the best mortgage rate these days? I’m looking to get prequalified for a mortgage and well, it’s been so long since I last did this, I don’t exactly where to start. My realtor has a recommendation. I have a mortgage from a company I don’t want to use again if at all possible, I would imagine my bank has options, plus I guess there are websites for this, but I’m not sure what the first action is. Do I need to contact every option and figure out what’s best based on what they tell me. I don’t expect any issues getting qualified, but I stymied on how to start the process. Anyone get pre-qualified recently and care to share their process?

    • Bonnie Kate

      I like my bank and I’ve always just contacted their loan department, applied, and checked their rate against other market comparable that are available online. It’s always been so low and close enough to what is being advertised elsewhere that it hasn’t been worth the hassle of me contacting and applying multiple places. It’s worth a few .01 percentage to keep the relationship with one bank/loan officers who we’ve used for a long time. Granted, we’ve always done this with very high 800+ credit scores and interest rates were more stable, so it may be different right now with fluctuations in the interest rates.

      My BIL/SIL did shop around and got the lowest rate – I believe they just applied at several different options and picked the random one that was the lowest.

    • Bewitched

      Use a mortgage broker, 1000 percent. They cull through options, they know who is reasonable to work with and who is a pain, they help with everything and you don’t pay them!

      • Anon

        +1. Post 2008 I was skeptical of them but they have always given me the best rates BY FAR and immaculate service (3 mortgages with them so far)

    • Anon

      I have a mortgage broker. A good mortgage broker is worth their weight in gold (this can be literally true in the case of a mortgage) and I would find one in your area by asking around among people you trust.

      • Anon

        (Ok I googled how much 200 pounds of gold is worth so maybe it’s not literally true unless you’re a Kardashian, but still, get a good mortgage broker)

    • anon

      What type of mortgage are you looking for? If it isn’t cookie cutter (jumbo, low down payment, etc.) and you are a professional (doctor, lawyer, accountant, etc.), I would look for the programs from banks specifically designed for that. Last I recall Chase and PNC had a good programs that are lending the banks own money so underwriting is easier. We ended up not putting as much down because we got the same rate and no PMI using one of those programs.

      • Anon

        Tell me more about this program. When I was looking it seemed the rates were noticeably higher than a conventional mortgage.

    • Anon

      Agree that a mortgage broker is the way to go. Where are you located? I have good recommendations for Dallas and Denver. I am sure someone can give you a recommendation for wherever you are.

      • Anon

        I’m in texas near Dallas! I’d love the recommendation if you don’t mind. I’m not looking for anything special just a fixed rate, 15 or 30 year loan, and planning on more than 20% down.

  7. Jane

    I am a single woman living alone. I thought I had ok neighbors but recently my married next door neighbor has been sending me weird, vague texts that make me uncomfortable. I haven’t been engaging (he said something like everything is so hot, and I replied yeah its hot outside and he said that’s not what he was referencing, I did not reply). I also got stuck in an hour long conversation about his relationship issues the same day he sent that. I just listened because I had no idea what else to do. How would you handle this? I do not want to even talk to either of them at this point and I’m worried that I’m going to get sucked into something I want no part of. I know I can be too nice and a people pleaser but I did not flirt with him and I’m really upset that this is even an issue I have to worry about.

    • Anon

      If you’re in a conversation and you want to leave, you can just interrupt and say I have to run! And then walk away.
      Lots of people are trained to people-please but this will get easier as you practice, I promise.

    • Anon

      Time to set some ~*boundaries*~. His need to be weird toward you is not more important than your need to feel comfortable in your own home. Depends on context, but you need to let him know the way he’s acting towards you is unacceptable. Is it scary/uncomfortable to do so? Yes, but most reasonable people back down once you do so. If he’s stopping you in the hall to talk, next time say “I really can’t stop and chat,” or “I try to stay out of other people’s relationships,” or whatever makes sense. He will probably ignore this the first time and you’ll have to be firm, maybe even cut him off to say, “no, really.”

      Obviously there’s a lot of conjecture here on my part as to how it’ll go, but bottom line is that you need to set some firm boundaries and enforce them.

    • Bonnie Kate

      100% shut it down. I’d go total non-communication after that text. Any guy that texts me any kind of innuendo text that makes me uncomfortable, I go to no-communication. I would avoid eye contact and conversations, when he tried to start one, I’d say I had to go/was busy, and I wouldn’t reply to any text messages at all.

      Also I hate this for you. Not exactly the same, but I’ve dealt with it at work and in community stuff. The vaguely inappropriate text is so frustrating because it seems on the surface to be small but is REALLY uncomfortable. I had a colleague with some amount of power in my career (different company) who I had a friendly professional relationship with – we were texting at a conference (had to set up a mutual client dinner/had a meeting over coffee etc), and he left early but then texted he wished he hadn’t missed the banquet because “I bet you look great in a dress”. UGH. 100% stopped all communication, and it soured the whole thing. Thankfully my male bosses, who I’m close to and shared the text with, completely had my back and validated the “ugh that’s gross” feeling.

    • Anom

      This sounds kinda painful. You need to stop the uncomfortable texting, too. Don’t politely respond if he texts you bc he may read into that incorrectly. Do you feel at all in danger from him? Or just that he’s feeling you out for whether you’d reciprocate? Trust your gut bc you may be picking up on body language in addition to the weird verbal interactions.

    • Anonymous

      I would send one text saying “I am not going to engage in this kind of banter with you.” And then stop responding. I wouldn’t block the number in this instance because it is your neighbor and perhaps you could need to be in touch about something important and property-related, but I would ignore any other kind of text from him.

      • Cat

        idk, I feel like going to this extreme immediately is going to make it even more awkward.

        For things like this my goal is always to give the other person space to back down without feeling embarrassed. Quietly not responding to that text, saying “oh sorry to hear that, I’m sure you guys can work it out, I’m on the way out but see you around!” etc to send the message you’re not interested without being that blunt.

        if he keeps it up, escalate accordingly, though.

        • Emma

          I think the super direct comment makes sense! Maybe it’s just because I also come off as people-pleasing and too sweet, but you’d be shocked by how many men will take polite evasion as a cue to continue pushing. The sooner she communicates directly (maybe even harshly) that she’s not willing to participate, the less likely it is that they can any way accuse of her of engaging.

        • Bonnie Kate

          I have a longer reply in mod, but would go in the middle of Anon 358 and Cat – I wouldn’t send any kind of direct text, but also no polite evasion, just clear brush off.
          So in person: “I’m in the middle of something/can’t talk/no time to talk” and generally avoiding any interactions at all
          Over text: no response at all

    • Emma

      Ugh, this is terrible. He’s being gross and you shouldn’t have to put up with that. I am sorry for the stress of this situation!!

      As a fellow people-pleasure, something that does stick out to me is that you say “I also got stuck in an hour-long conversation…” Unless he has a gun to your head, you have full capacity to exit any conversation that is making you uncomfortable for any reason. At any point, you can also say “I don’t feel comfortable talking about your relationship or getting involved.”

      I agree with the other posters that you should set firm boundaries. Honestly, I think even if you are a little harsh with him, that’s probably a good thing. You want to make sure he never, ever feels comfortable speaking to you like that again or thinking there is even the slightest chance that anything will happen.

      I don’t want to read too much into this, but again, projecting from my own experience as a people-pleaser, you may feel like it’s a situation over which you don’t have control. Sometimes, when we are still learning to set boundaries, we feel like everything “happens to us” and we don’t have the capacity to control what energy enters our lives.
      In reality, their isn’t an issue you have to worry about once you clearly communicate to him that you are a) not interested and b) super uncomfortable with him trying to put down anymore vibes. You also don’t have to worry about this couple or their feelings, and you don’t have to engage with them AT ALL if you decide you don’t want to. You are fully in control of what behavior you tolerate and accept. Most people will be shut down by direct communication. The drama of a married man’s flirtation is only something you can get “sucked into” if you cling to the idea that you can’t ever hurt anyone’s feelings or say something that someone doesn’t want to hear.

    • Anonymous

      Do not respond to texts from him.
      Do not stop and listen.
      It’s okay to tell whatever lies you want to get rid of him. Wanting to be away from him is «I have to go.» You owe him no explanations.

      If you get a bad gut feeling or he turns slightly threatening, listen to your instincts.

      • Kit

        Right, just ghost any more texts unless it’s something pertinent to the house or neighborhood. And if you ever need to communicate with him, start a thread with him and his wife. And if he tries to chat with you, pretend you don’t realize it, give a little smile and wave, and just walk away.

    • Coach Laura

      I have made good use of the fake phone call and/or having earphones in to get out of talking to neighbors and people that I can’t avoid fully. (Like the harmless person who wants to talk for an hour and I don’t have time or the nosy person who will ask uncomfortable questions.) So I just have my AirPods in or my phone in my hand and pretend to talk into the phone and or point to my phone and mime being on a call. He’s not harmless but the same thing works.

      Also, sunglasses help – I don’t make eye contact and I pretend I don’t see someone.

      I agree – “I have to go” is a good excuse – no other excuse needed. Little white lies are totally ok for me in all of these social situations if you have trouble just saying no, say – I’m late for work/an appointment, or I have a zoom call in 5 minutes. But work on just saying no. Don’t ever let him even get to the point of talking about his relationship.

      If you don’t want to send a direct text this time, ignore this one. But if he texts again, then I would reply like the person below says: One text saying “I am not going to engage in this kind of banter with you.” After that, start texting both husband and wife together. Never text him alone going forward.

      You might also think about whether you are safe going into and out of your apartment if he is around. You might read “The Gift of Fear” and be hyper aware of your surroundings. If he is around your door when you are returning home, for example, have a prearranged text with a friend that if you don’t text her back in 5 minutes, she should send help. You don’t want him to be able to get into your place and block you in, harass you or assault you.

      • Anonymous

        +1 on the gift of fear. That is one reason I think no reply is better than “not going to engage in banter”. Banter is a word that sounds consensual and can be construed as coy by a person with an abusive or boundary-crossing behavior, even though it’s obvious – also to them – that you want them to eff off.

        • Dr. The Original ...

          The word banter doesn’t work here as banter is fun and mutual. I would likely say nothing and see if it stops things via text and ignore any future texts and respond to any future text about the home by starting a group text with him and wife. I’m anxious about confrontation so I think I would just come in with cheap bright colored wired headphones in and ignore any attempt to talk (so you can blame the headphones if he doesn’t see them) or if I saw him, I’d grab my phone, immediately dial a close friend, and when they answer, start the conversation, point at the phone and wave while walking into my place and closing the door. Otherwise, waving and saying something like, “nice to see you, tell your wife hi for me!” and walking away would work too. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this!

        • Anonymous

          I checked back and suddenly saw that “no reply is better than …” could be read as “banter is the best reply”. OMG ambiguity fail. I mean that “no reply” as in not replying is better. Do not reply.

  8. Anon

    I already have a suit this shade of blue and a pink one. I’d love a green one, but this shade of green is not for me.

  9. Anonymous

    I don’t see the 40 percent off of Talbots that is referenced .. anyone else ?

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