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Updated: Dec 14, 2021 122 Comments · by

Suit of the Week: M.M.LaFleur

Suit of the Week |

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For busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional.

I’m always looking for pieces that can do double (or even triple) duty, and my suits are no exception.

M.M.LaFleur’s Emalis Jacket looks like a traditional, structured blazer, but its bracelet-length sleeves, belt, and bright color give it a novel look. As with all of M.M.LaFleur’s apparel, this jacket also sports some practical features like deep pockets and wrinkle resistant fabric.

The Emalis Jacket also has several matching pieces. For a more traditional full suit look, pair it with the Cobble Hill Skirt or Constance Dress. For something more fun and relaxed, try it with the Fletcher Short. (FYI, we did a poll on shorts suits years ago!) If that’s not enough options, I think it also would look great with a pair of wide-leg camel trousers.

The jacket is $325 and is currently available in 0P–16 in the pictured poppy as well as safari (an earthy green). The matching pieces range from $165–$225. Right now, save 15% when you buy the jacket with a coordinating piece.

This red Tahari ASL skirt suit also has a belted jacket and is on sale for $133; it comes in sizes 2–18. Le Suit has another more affordable suit (in a slightly softer shade of red); it's available in sizes 4–18 (on sale for $101) and 14W–24W ($240 full price).

This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

Sales of note for 9.30.24

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Ann

Ann is a working mom, a longtime reader of Corporette and CorporetteMoms, and has been writing our morning fashion advice on CorporetteMoms since November 2020! She is a public interest lawyer in Washington, D.C.

Comments

  1. Senior Attorney

    Oh, man. I need another suit like I need a hole in the head, but this is just gorgeous. If it came in petite sizes I would be all over it!

    • Anon

      I just cannot with any item of clothing with flaps on my (generously sized) chest. These don’t flatter me and make me feel self-conscious, and feel more safari than professional. I love the red, though.

    • Anon

      Has anyone purchased this jacket (or tried it on)? I’ve been eyeing for a while – love the color and concept, but the belt look ultra long, like you have to tie it, and I could see that looking messy, or just not working well?

  2. Anon

    I’m in the Twin Cities and in a role where I’m advising various departments at a large employer about how to help BIPOC employees (and allies) manage all of their fear / anger / sadness about what’s happening literally outside while also trying to get their own work done and it’s just been A LOT this week. So far, we’ve encouraged supervisors to let employees be ‘cameras off’ for meetings since so many of us have been crying; given employees permission to informally get together over Teams to vent and count it as work time; and provided additional EAP resources but it still feels like so little in the face of so much. What are all of your employers doing, if anything?

    • JTM

      $5 says your company is doing more than most.

      If your company hasn’t considered it, you should suggest helping anyone directly impacted by riots to relocate to a hotel or allow them to work from another location (like if they wanted to go stay with a relative). My company (also a large Twin Cities employer) allowed employees to do this during the riots over the summer, and it was a big help.

      Also while you’re allowing employees to have informal get togethers on Teams, it would also be impactful to host a company-wide listening session for people to share as well. We had our first listening session after the death of Philando Castile, and being able to come together and talk has been a big help.

      • Anonymous

        We had something similar at my work, but honestly, they felt inappropriate. I get that others may disagree and I respect their right to have a different opinion, but I felt very uncomfortable with our listening session where workers shared extremely personal stories, cried, and expressed strong political beliefs (even though they were beliefs that I agree with). It felt like a support group or something, but I have a strong preference for keeping my personal life and health needs (including mental health) out of the workplace.

    • Anonymous

      Unpopular opinion, but I don’t want my employer to serve as my emotional support in my personal or political life. It’s good to emphasize resources like EAPs that are available, but I don’t need my boss to give me permission to cry during meetings off-camera or to vent to others. If I want to do those things, I will, but it feels patronizing and insincere to make my grief corporate-ready. I don’t expect my place of employment to fulfill those needs. Have a reasonable time off policy, don’t police people’s reasons for taking time off (so if anyone needs a mental health day they can take one), and treat employees like adults – that’s what I think is best.

      • No Face

        To take a slightly different view, I think employers should be encouraging this type of wellness all the time. Encourage your supervisors to allow people to be off-camera without explanation – that helps with issues like this, but also employees who have illnesses, or need to pump, or are just having a bad day and don’t want to be “on” when it is not necessary. Emphasize EAPs regularly. The time off policy is a great point – normalize employees taking a day off without having to justify it.

        I also think it is useful to acknowledge an Awful Thing and its impact. My old firm’s only statement about the pandemic was that the office was staying open and you will use your sick days if you get covid. My employer felt actively hostile to me at a time when people I knew of were dying. I left soon after.

      • Anon

        Agreed, and to take it one step further, in some of these cases, it seems to me that there’s an element of trying to get certain employees to “perform grief” for them, so that they can stroke their egos about how sensitive and helpful they are being.

        • Anon

          Agreed. However I am wired internally, it is to just loathe things like a grief sharing session. I feel that no one has a right to my grief. Certainly not my job.

    • Anon for this

      I think if you need to cry during a meeting, you need to take some time off instead. It’s better to take the time that you need when you can’t participate in the tasks that need to be done. You don’t need to tell your boss why you were crying or that you even were crying. That is very weird to me.

      • theguvnah

        meetings aren’t tasks though and crying during one that you’re just a listener on is not a big deal. Someone shouldn’t be forced to use precious vacation time because of white supremacy.

    • EB

      The thing my workplace has done that has had the most impact on me is when people in power have acknowledged that they were having a hard time. Our Managing Director (essentially our CEO) regularly talks about how things have been difficult for her and encouraged us to take the time we need. My boss has done the same. It made a BIG impression that it was coming from the people who make the decisions around here, and not from HR.

    • Anonymous

      If your company has offices elsewhere, one thing not to do is to acknowledge this as a special thing in the Twin Cities if it has not/will not acknowledge similar things in other other cities with offices. My law firm did exactly that — leadership acknowledged only events in the HQ city (and held it up as a “good example,” which it really was not) when similar things were happening all around the country — and it really rubbed people the wrong way.

    • anonymous

      When you refer to “what’s happening literally outside”, are you referring to the single incident involving Dante Wright or the ongoing violent riots, looting, and mayhem? If it’s the latter, you better check your privilege, fast.

      • Anon

        Or maybe the trial? Or all of the above? I can see how this can be different for different people for many reasons.

        In our building, people park across the street in another building’s garage. I can see that people may want not to work late or want an escort going to their car. I can also see how if people have the news on, that can unsettle people based on what visuals they are exposed to (our kitchen used to have the news feed on but it has been turned off). People may not feel like talking or may worry about saying the wrong thing.

        The plywood on the buildings near us were up through the fall and I haven’t been back since, but just that was a bad sign, like it was objectively dangerous now and that no end was in sight.

      • pugsnbourbon

        What’s going on outside is that Minneapolis police are killing Black people, and not just Daunte Wright. There’s a four-week trial in process for a murder that was captured on video.
        It’s traumatic for Black people to hear reports of this again and again and again, while being gaslit about what police do. I’m not really sure what your point was, 3:46, but it sounded a little like a dog whistle.

  3. Bachelor

    I’m a little disappointed in the coverage of Colton Underwood. I am happy for him that he is being honest with himself and those around him. I think that took incredible courage. I also think the allegations regarding his treatment of Cassie Randolph are still awful, and being in the closet is not excuse. I don’t think he should be banned from society, but I don’t think giving him a reality tv show is the right move either.

    • Anonymous

      I have strong feelings about men who do that to women. It’s such an intentionally selfish thing to use another human like that.

    • anonshmanon

      Well, didn’t he just publicly come out this very morning? Other than the people who had prior knowledge of this, and the outlets reporting it in real time, I don’t know what coverage you expect. People need a little bit of time to write anything substantive about this.

      • Anonymous

        While that is new information, months ago his ex filed a restraining order and alleged he put a tracking device on her car, which seems to be forgotten in the current media coverage.

        • OP

          This! I’m not upset about him dating women before coming out. I’m upset about his very specific behavior towards his ex.

        • anonshmanon

          Because all the “coverage” is either just outlets picking it up in real time as it’s happening on live TV (they don’t take even the minute it takes to google this info, because they need to post the scoop before the competition) or his own people who want to promote a new show (they have zero interest in bringing that up). 24 hour news is not journalism.

    • Anonymous

      Sounds to me like he’s known he wasn’t straight for a while but just admitted it to himself and others during this pandemic. I think in one clip he said when he could chosen for the show he thanked God for making him straight (I guess he thought if ABC’s people cast him for the show that MUST mean he’s straight). So he goes through this show, clearly isn’t straight but picks a woman because that’s the premise of the show. Then he likely stays with her for 2 years to convince himself, see I have a gf, I’m like everyone else, I can be a husband to a woman etc. Clearly that doesn’t work and they break up (IDK why exactly — I don’t follow the couples after they’re off the show). So he puts a tracking device on her car and/or stalks her why exactly? Like you don’t even want to be with women, if she left you why not let her go and be relieved to not be with her?

    • kk

      I saw a tweet about how empathy doesnt excuse us from accountability. We can be sad for him that he didnt feel comfortable with himself til now, and we can be happy for him for coming out, and we can still hold him accountable for the inexcusable behavior

    • PrettyLawBelle

      I agree. He should not be able to capitalize off having lies and used women like this. I’ve read a lot about how the women in these situations get no support while the men are congratulated for finally having the courage to live their lives who they are, etc. it is disgusting.

  4. Anon

    I live in what is generally a quiet state that people often move to when fleeing big cities. And today it comes out that a beloved coach and family man who was shot to death last week was killed trying to rob the drug cartel that he was in business with (from my film / TV watching: that is usually not going to end well). It’s not in my city, but in the sleepier area where my family is from and I am just in shock. You just never know about people. I get that FB is a highlight reel, but I guess you never truly know what is going on generally. What you observe is merely one small part of anything. This is surreal.

    • Anon

      My formerly-insurance brain is overriding my manners (this is horrible — I am wondering if his family had any idea). I can recall some exclusions for engaging in illegal activities, but can’t recall if that is re life insurance or not (more like: the meth lab blows up your house and your neighbor’s house). I can’t imagine being the surviving spouse dealing with this and then the life insurance refuses to pay b/c of how he died.

    • Anonymous

      Haha I feel like a lot of these things are just an open secret. Near me a mob boss/pillar of the community was recently gunned down and so many people were either completely oblivious or feigning ignorance and it was pretty weird.

      • Anon

        Wow — that seems like certain parts of NYC/Philly back in the 70s/80s. Walter White is real, maybe?

        • Anonymous

          Incase you’re wondering organized crime is alive and well they just typically use more corporate methods these days, the murder was unusual. Most of the leaders of organized crime live in the burbs away from their organizations activities because they obviously want to live somewhere safe with their families.

  5. No Face

    I have a vacation fantasy for August. I would like a vacation rental home on or near the shore of Lake Michigan, near a cute little town and beach parks. Has anyone stayed at a place like this? I would love Airbnb recs or town names.

    Lake Michigan is huge so it’s too hard to search on Airbnb. I would drive, so distance to an airport is irrelevant.

      • B Harvey

        +1 Leland, or Charlevoix or, cute town but fewer public beaches, Harbor Springs. Basically anything Traverse City north. These can still be hot some summer days if not right on water. Upper Peninsula is cooler but more rustic. Many happy summers in these areas.

    • IL

      I’ve never been, but some of the law firm partners had lake houses around that area. The most notable towns are St. Joseph, New Buffalo, South Haven, and Holland.

      • kk

        That’s just one small area of lake michigan- lake michigan is huge!

        If you’re looking to stay closer to Chicago, I’d go toward Saugatuck/Douglas. If you’re willing to travel, I’d go to the Leelenau Peninsula, Glen Arbor, and Old Mission Peninsula.

      • Sasha

        We had a cottage in St. Joe growing up–such a lovely area with a cute downtown and tons to do.

        The whole northern stretch of Indiana leading up to the Michigan border (Long Beach, Sheridan Beach, Michigan City, Michiana Shores) is adorable too, and there’s a variety of price points.

    • asdf

      Saugatuck, MI? Mackinaw Island is also wonderful – it’s a bike only island near the UP.

    • AnonMom

      Whitehall had some cute optionsa few years back.

      Since you are driving I’m guessing you are close enough to know that our virus numbers are absolute shit right now, but hopefully will be improved by August…

  6. Anon

    Question for the lawyer-types, specifically ones that are in court a lot.

    My husband is a litigator, and I just don’t understand how his trials are scheduled. We have a small vacation scheduled this summer, and my husband had a trial scheduled for the week we’re supposed to be on vacation. My understanding is that he and the opposing counsel expected the trial to be scheduled for some other time, which is why we booked our vacation for this particular week. He said he told the court he wasn’t available during that time frame but the court scheduler didn’t budge.

    Do attorneys really have zero say in when trials are scheduled? Can’t my husband tell the scheduler that he can’t do it during this time frame? That we have non-refundable aspects of our vacation that we already booked?

    I’m not terribly mad about this, and we’ll be fine for not getting a refund – I just want to understand. Is the vacation schedule of every single attorney in America really at the whim of courts if they practice in one?

    Signed, a frustrated non-attorney spouse

    • Anon

      I think this is highly dependent on the particular courts, but yes there are some scenarios where you have no control over it. Again, highly fact dependent, but if the court is backlogged, or this one has been waiting a while to go to trial, especially with COVID delays, the court might really be pushing to move its docket and be less flexible than normal.

      • anon

        I suspect the court may even be using an inflexible scheduling policy to get parties to settle, so it can clear its docket quicker.

        • Anonymous

          Judges absolutely use no-continuance policies to hold the parties’ feet to the fire. It’s considered good case management. Some courts also track trial date certainty as a performance measure.

    • Anon

      Unfortunately, the lawyers have zero control over this. I’ve been in front of judges before who would tell a lawyer with an immovable conflict, “That sounds sad for you; I guess you need to get another lawyer to handle this.” In my primary jurisdiction, the courts and schedulers typically recognize that lawyers are people, but it’s not a given everywhere.

      Related, this is a major reason I moved out of private practice. I felt like I had short term flexibility in that I could leave for an appointment if I didn’t have something else happening that day, but I had no long term flexibility in that judges could set hearings and trials whenever they wanted, it was not guaranteed that I would be able to move them, and if I’d already planned something for that week, then that was just too bad for me.

      • anon

        To be clear, this is an issue for litigators in government, too – I was a fed litigator for many years and we had the same issues. To avoid you’d have to get out of litigation entirely, not just private practice.

        • Anon at 3:47

          Good point! I have moved in house to a primarily transactional/advisory role. One of my best friends is also a federal litigator and has definitely had the same problem (even more so because she has more trials than I ever did).

    • No Face

      If you have non-refundable parts of the vacation, you should go on the vacation without him! If the case resolves before trial, then he can go with you. (I had a case settle the night before trial. I would have loved to have travel on the books.)

      To answer your question, yes I am at the mercy of courts. Usually both sides offer their availability and the court picks a date where everyone is available. However, the court will likely not have the normal availability because many, many courts are backlogged. There are people who were charged before the pandemic who have literally been sitting in jail waiting for their trial (because they can’t afford cash bail). All those trials need to happen ASAP when it is safe to do so because in the US, criminal defendants have a right to a speedy trial. While less urgent, there are also many civil cases that need jury trials as well.

    • Anonymous

      Really, we do not. The last time I was at a trial calendar call, the judge on the bench bragged about having had to cancel vacations when she was a litigator herself and how, having done that herself, she was not going to make scheduling considerations for the guy begging her not to make him miss/cancel his family’s nonrefundable trip to Hawaii from the East Coast. Over the past year, trials are getting rescheduled multiple times when courts decide they are not, in fact, going to reopen for jury trials this month but instead the next, on a monthly basis. I have been scheduled for trial in another state on, I think, eight different dates, one of which was the first Monday in January, with a pre-trial conference on December 23, and the current one is July 6. If memory serves, Thanksgiving was implicated at some point, too.

    • kitten

      It depends on the jurisdiction. In my state court, it’s pretty easy to request a different trial date at the initial case management conference. I’ve done it/had opposing counsel do it probably a dozen times and the judge has never even asked why. Not to mention, trials are usually set out much further out than I have ever planned a vacation. It might be worse at the moment because so many trials were continued due to COVID and now need to be rescheduled ASAP.

      • Anonymous

        Oh, gosh. Our trial dates are almost always unknown until much later than the initial case management conference. At best, those conferences result in an order stating trial will occur “after X date.” Plus we regularly extend the case schedule for various reasons, especially during the pandemic.

    • Anon

      People who get too close when talking, even masked, even outdoors. What exactly is the point? I don’t need 6 feet at all times, but please don’t get 6 inches from my face.

    • Anonymous

      Depends on the state. My state will let you file for a week of protected leave where they won’t schedule anything in your cases for that week. However, we are a small, collegial bar with a better concept of work-life balance than some places I’ve practiced. Other states are much less accommodating/flexible.

      • Anonymous

        And I just checked our rules because I couldn’t remember the details–it’s a one week period and you can have up to 3 a year, or up to 12 to care for a child if it’s within 6 months of birth/adoption of child. You have to file 3 months before the secured leave period, though. I never seem to have a trip planned that far out (I have used this once, for my honeymoon).

    • anon

      As others have said, yes, the attorneys often have little to no control. the “court scheduler” you refer to is the judge, who has wide discretion to schedule trials (and other hearings) as he/she sees fit. Add on to that there are some judges who are notorious for not working around attorney’s schedules (there was a judge I knew who refused to move a trial date by a few days even though it would conflict with the attorney’s honeymoon and opposing counsel had no objection).

    • Anon

      Depends on the state. I guess I’m super lucky because at least pre-covid our judges would grant motions to continue very liberally.

    • Anonymous

      Completely depends on the jurisdiction and to some degree, the particular judge. Where I practice, if you file a notice of unavailability earlier enough, the Court will most likely honor that. But if it is an old case with a lot of continuances already or you filed your notice late, sometimes the court will force it to go. And as an attorney, you really can’t just not show up. If you have co-workers and it would not prejudice the client, you can get someone to stand in for you.

  7. Anon

    What’s a pet peeve of yours that you’ve realized during COVID, about COVID or remote work or life during lockdowns?

    For me it’s people referring to it as “the rona,” “the roner” or anything else starting with “the.” It’s irrational but it drives me up the wall.

    Also, obviously, masks below the nose or not at all but that’s not a pet peeve exactly.

    • Anonymous

      Omg, I couldn’t agree more with “rona.” I hate it so much. Now for my own pet peeve: I hate when people, especially at work, assume that I’ll always be checking email or available for tasks because “what else do you have going on.” Nope, my personal time is still my own!

        • BeenThatGuy

          We call it “The Vid” in my house thanks to a Kevin Hart comedy special we watched last summer.

      • Anonymous

        Oh. My law partner actually said to me, an unmarried and childless woman, that people without kids really don’t have any reason not to be responsive around the clock (no reason to turn notifications off) and work all day every day. This was before the pandemic.

        • Anonymous

          Yep, my boss said that to me too. “People without kids don’t have the excuse so what’s the big deal with working late?” I pushed back immediately, but I know I didn’t change her mind.

      • ZoePanda

        Ugh, I really dislike that and the few people who I have witnessed doing it are definitely right-wingers, even though some of them hide it at work. It seems like just a way to be dismissive about it and mock it because “its not real” and whatnot. These are the same people who were doing “in a peach, har har” when Trump got impeached twice. Its just code for conservatives to find each other and mock those of us trying to be responsible during a pandemic.

    • Cat

      People writing a long, hard to follow email that would have been handled in a 5 minute phone call… and people trying to hold 15-person meetings for something that could have been a 5 sentence email. Both extremes seem to have gotten worse in WFH land.

    • Anon

      People who are selfish assholes claiming they’re too tough for coronavirus and making fun of anyone who takes precautions.

      Basically people declaring themselves to the the idiots they’ve always been but it wasn’t as obvious before the pandemic.

      Mostly falls under the category of fragile masculinity.

      • Anonymous

        I am finding it also falls under the category of “entitled.”
        I actually had someone tell me she wasn’t getting vaccinated because she is unsure of the safety of the vaccines because they are “too new” and because she believed in all of the spanking brand new information and rumors about how bad they are, and then said, “frankly, I can afford Covid.”

    • Anonymous

      My pet peeve is WFH while my husband is also WFH, yelling on conference calls all day and periodically barging in to the bedroom where I’ve set up a desk because he absolutely must use the en suite bathroom and no other.

    • Anon

      Having people in my home Every. Single. Second. I just want a few hours with no one within shouting distance.

      • Sloan Sabbith

        Also: “BC.” No. NO. NO. NO.

        The constant noise also gets to me. My parents are at my grandparents’ house right now while we’re waiting for the stair lift so I work up there some days to keep an eye on dad. I literally took a 5 mile walk during meetings the other day to get out of the house where my grandma is listening to Friends upstairs at top volume, my dad is listening to a CD downstairs at top volume to drown out Friends, my grandpa is on speaker phone with his friends walking in and out of the downstairs and right upstairs, the dogs are barking at who the hell knows what, and my mom is on her own meetings without using headphones. Even ANC headphones can’t drown out that level of crazy.

    • Anonymous

      Being forced into social Zoom calls, especially super long ones. I skipped Karaoke a few weeks ago (as apparently almost all of the rest of the company) and the CEO sent out a “we only have six people” email. Yesterday was an hour and half happy hour. I’m already hating how little I get to move during the day and now you want to force me to sit into the evening, too. Grrr.

      Other pet peeve is that we are required to be on screen all the time. Everyone staring at each other all day every day just feels exhausting. I miss good old-fashioned phone calls.

  8. Anon

    House question. My weeds are out of control. My plan is to hit them with a weed wacker this weekend then spray and then mulch. Which mulch is better at being inhospitable to weeds: pine needles or pine bark nuggets. I can get either.

    So glad I don’t live in a HOA area where I could get fined for my lack of maintenance but I am sorry for my neighbors who have to see this (my backyard is far worse — somehow the tall trees block the light/water to grow anything new or pretty but the weeds flourish and maybe are from gunk cast off by trees but also wild things that smell like onions and some weird other stuff and then random things that are clearly weeds).

    • Anon

      Put down sheets of newspaper or cardboard, wet it thoroughly, and put the bark on top of it. Wet again. This works way better than bark/mulch alone.

    • Anon

      I prefer pine straw – I like it because it’s so easy to pull weeds when they do show up. I’m not a nugget lady myself. Just personal preference.

      Whichever you decide, what you need is a product called Preen. It’s a pre-emergent – it stops weeds from germinating. It’s granular and you sprinkle it on your flower beds. And yep, it really is that easy.

    • Anonymous

      Just FYI, if it smells like onions and is wild onion/onion grass, it will keep coming back unless you pull up the bulb. Whacking the top off won’t help.

    • anon

      Can I persuade you to skip the spray? they can be harmful to beneficial insects and microorganisms, as well as small creatures and the larger creatures that eat them. Weed whacker, layer of cardboard, plus a good thick layer of mulch will get rid of the weeds. I’ve also heard good things about the weed blowtorch things, but I’ve never used one. It sounds very satisfying!

      • Anon

        This. If you can, avoid chemicals – for the sake of your and your neighbors’ soil. I wouldn’t be much happy with my neighbor spraying chemicals like crazy all over the place as for sure part would end up on my soil/plants/crop. You can kill weeds by pulling them out, covering the soil up (they need sunlight and air). After that, i would recommend to cover the soil with some local low-maintenance plants (either mix of grasses/flowers or cover crops such as clover). It is always better for soil to have something in and it may provide nourishment for insect/animals. There are plenty of no-care plants that thrive in shade, I promise.

        • CB

          Yes, I would just clover it. Or some sort of groundcover. I don’t spray for weeds, but find the cardboard and mulch, and using green manures (like clover) to crowd out the weeds really effective.

  9. Anonymous

    I’m thinking about treating myself to a big purchase as a bit of a pat on the back for some professional and personal achievements. I want one or more tangible items and not an experience for a variety of reasons. What would you spend up to $3,000 on to treat yourself?

    • Sloan Sabbith

      Fancy fully automatic espresso machine. I have a $600 Breville but I envy the coffee shops in Europe that just press a button for a perfect latte.

    • anonamouse

      Art! If there’s a local artist you like, consider approaching them about a commissioned piece.

      Amazingly luxurious bedding, or a new mattress!

      Furniture! Upgrade a piece that is sufficient but underwhelming to something you love.

      • CountC

        +1 to art. I may or may not have just done this in fact.

        Also, jewelry. Specifically by small independent jewelers!

      • WCEC

        As a former artist turned lawyer, +1 to approaching artist(s) you like. Doing a studio visit (singular or a studio hopping of MFA students or studios in a building where lots of artists work) can be a great way to survey what appeals to you. Especially now that end of semester (i.e. shows) for MFAs is approaching, though I don’t know if this is viable given the pandemic or where you are.

        That said, what splurge is worth it to you is so personal. As a generally-indecisive-in-my-art-acquiring-tastes-former-artist-turned-lawyer, I cannot follow the above approach. So, in keeping with my penchant for high-end classics + balancing with Ebay/Thredup/thrift or certain staples, my splurges are what I hope will endure the test of time: Burberry trench, Cartier watch (ok on the RealReal), classic but slightly funky jewelry from independent designers. Love Gabriella Kiss and Catbird. I could go on, but find your style (if you like jewelry)!

    • Anon

      I’ve always wanted a chaise lounge in my office, in a loud velvet jewel-toned fabric.

  10. Vicky Austin

    Gut check me, Hive.

    We’ve had to take our dog to the vet 4 times in the last month for various reasons. My husband has always been the one to decide whether or not we’ll call them (mostly because he feels so much guilt over the dog possibly being in pain that he can’t stand it), and has always asked me to make the call and then take the dog to the appointment (which involves leaving work, driving 20 minutes home to get the dog, driving 20 minutes back to town, taking him to the appointment (which on at least one occasion involved an hour of wait time alone), driving 20 minutes back to the house to drop off the dog, and driving 20 minutes back to town to go back to work). Every time this happens, it’s fallen to me because DH has a meeting he can’t miss and I almost never have meetings, missable or otherwise. I even scheduled the most recent appointment around what looked like an open window in his calendar; he still said he couldn’t take it and when I checked again a few days later there was something in that window. I’m having to stay late to make up the time because I’m hourly (he’s salaried), and I’m woefully behind on my deadlines for the month. When DH came to my office after the most recent appointment to ask how it went, we realized I’d forgotten to ask one of the questions he’d wanted me to ask. I (politely! promise!) suggested he call them and said I’d dealt with them enough lately. He got huffy with me.

    I am 100% over this. Am I being unreasonable?

    • Anon

      Discuss: the dog is a shared responsibility, so you believe that care for the dog should also be shared. When the dog needs an appointment, he should take responsibility about half the time (and say, the next four times) that the dog needs to see the vet for scheduling and appointment when he can take the dog in, and then see the task through. What he is doing feels like pointing at a pile of dirty dishes and thinking it is your responsibility for making them magically get cleaned and put away. And I say this with lots of sympathy for your dog; in a true emergency, I would expect both of you to do whatever is necessary to ensure prompt veterinary care.

    • Senior Attorney

      No. Somebody is being unreasonable here but it is not you.

      I feel like “I get to decide that the dog’s condition is urgent enough for you to leave work but not urgent enough for me to leave work,” is not really a defensible position.

    • Anon

      Tell him what you told us. He needs to make the appointment and take the dog a minimum of half the times. And he owes you several times at this point.

      You realize your husband is placing himself *and the dog* ahead of you, right.

    • WCEC

      You are definitely not being unreasonable, he is. I am one of those CRAZY dog people, my dog is my baby, and even I get annoyed/stressed by having to take time off work to take her to the vet. He has got to pitch in and should not be getting huffy with you.

    • No Face

      It sounds like don’t have a job where you can take off hours during the day in a month to handle vet appointments. This is a fact, just like it is a fact that DH apparently has a lot of meetings. DH can handle some of these appointments and deal with the difficulties (taking a call at the waiting room, rescheduling a meeting, making an early morning or late in the day appointment, finding a more convenient vet, etc).

    • Coach Laura

      No, you’re not being unreasonable. If you have kids, it’ll get worse. It’s hard when you’re salaried and he’s hourly (we have that at my house too) but getting behind and working at night isn’t fair. Maybe he should arrange appointments for evenings or weekends 50% of the time. A 50/50 split sounds fair.

    • Sloan Sabbith

      Not unreasonable. Especially when you scheduled around an open spot on his schedule and he….scheduled over it? Unless he’s literally Joe f-ing Biden, he can find an hour to take the dog to the vet if it’s so important to him that the dog go to the vet.

      • Anonymous

        And if he truly can’t and was being a good person about this, he would at least make all the appointments and handle the follow up calls and be appreciative

      • anonshmanon

        That’s a good point. Dr Biden, if this is you writing, then give the man some slack.

    • Anonymous

      I think this is ultimately a larger question about how you divide work (including with respect to the dog). As an example, I have a more flexible daily schedule so I walk the dog 2x a day and normally handle vet visits. However, my husband proactively books vaccination appointments, calls the vet from work when its a non-urgent issue, buys all pet food/supplies, bathes her, cuts her nails, coordinates dog walkers, coordinates back up care, etc. So, I don’t necessarily think it’s unreasonable that if your schedule is more accomodating that you are the Designated Vet Goer, but it’s probably more of a question of you feeling like your not sharing the load equally.

      For what it’s worth, I’m sympathetic to your situation. I am the breadwinner, work more hours, but have a much more flexible schedule. My husband’s job pays less, he works fewer hours but his job is incredibly inflexible and in person (he has an essential worker type job). This means that I have to do more of the ‘something came up and this needs to be handled’ tasks than he does and it can get annoying. I have to work later to make up for it, etc.

      However, we have a fair split of labor overall. It’s 50/50 in terms of overall time commitment to our household but not 50/50 with respect to each task.

    • Anon

      He is being shitty. I have Feelings about this.

      I am always the heavy with our cats, and I am over it and refuse to get more when the current ones are gone. My husband wants the fun and cuddles, but doesn’t put in the drudge work. The food and litter smells trigger his elaborate gag reflex, I have to administer all the meds, and he straight up got in the car and RAN AWAY when our eldest needed to be put down. I sat alone in the house with her waiting for the vet to euthanize her, while he went wherever to have a self-absorbed meltdown.

      This same man insists that despite us being childfree, he would have made a great dad. Nah, fam, you think a kid is a toy. I’d be doing all the work.

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