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Updated: Oct 31, 2018 76 Comments · by

Suit of the Week: Pallas

Suit of the Week

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double breasted womens suitFor busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional. Double-breasted suit jackets aren't usually my thing, but this drapey, menswear-inspired version has been on my radar for a few weeks. (Even if it does remind me just a leeeetle bit of Annette Bening's wardrobe in The American President.) Things I really like: the slim fit, the double vent in the back, the lovely charcoal color, and the drape — the video at Net-a-Porter best captures the beauty. Lovely. The blazer (Pallas Junon pinstriped double-breasted wool blazer) is $2005, and the pants (Pallas Machiavel pinstriped wool flared pants) are $1260; a matching vest (not pictured here) is $1225. (So, you know, get two of everything, right?) Here's a plus-size option, and here are a few more affordable options: Halogen, Express, Boss. (L-all)

Sales of note for 9.10.24

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Comments

  1. Leaning so far in I may fall over.

    I’ve had a pretty solid run at work, with 2 big promotions in 3 years. The last one was a pretty big stretch for me but seems to be going well. I just got back from a big board meeting where I was pretty much asked to take ANOTHER role, which seems like just so much to take on. I could take it, but I am just at the point where I feel like I have gotten into a groove in my existing role (after 9 months of running at breakneck speed working all hours).

    And my husband just got a major promotion, and we’re about to start trying for our 2nd kid. I want to say yes, but I’m afraid (1) of totally failing or (2) letting work consume my life for the next …? years.

    The other thing bugging me is that when I took a director role, I replaced a sr director; when I took an AVP role, I replaced a VP. And now the role they want me in is a VP role, with all the responsibilities (and stress, and travel) of an SVP. There is no way I have any business as an SVP at this point in my career, but the role is everything the exiting SVP is doing. There is no way I would even consider the role unless it came with a new headcount under me at the director-or-above level (a VP + director might be able to cover the SVP work)…

    It will come with a big salary bump but quite honestly, I make plenty. And DH makes plenty. I just want to take a nap.

    • Senior Attorney

      Tell them you would be happy to take it but it’s a SVP job and you want the SVP title and money. And you definitely have business as a SVP because they are offering the job!

      • Anonymous

        And that you want the staff under you. That’s what SVPs get to ask for.

    • ezt

      I have no advice (though Sr. Atty’s sounds good) but hey — congrats on your awesome career success!

    • Sharon

      Congratulations on your career successes! It sounds like you’re already at an SVP level, like a previous commenter mentioned.

      I quit a high-power job last year because of burn-out. You know yourself better than anyone, so if the promotion is giving you pause, it’s probably for a good reason. Best of luck with everything.

      • OP

        I guess I feel like everyone else just sucks so i have to take over their messes and clean it up. I’m sick of it. And the last few times, it was OK because the money was enticing, but at this point, a 25% increase is not something that would dramatically improve my quality of life anymore. Obviously we could retire earlier and buy a brand new car or whatever but we just bought a nice house, DH just got a new job, and I want to spend time with my kid(s?) and not have to work very hard. I know this is whiney.

        Anyone want to come work for me? I’m apparently hiring.

        • been there

          There’s nothing, absolutely nothing, wrong with wanting to spend time with your kid(s).

          You’re not being whiny.

          I’ll go against the grain and say if you’ve been offered this promotion and all you can think about is a nap, stew that over for a while.

        • ditto

          I was offered a job at about a 30% pay increase that would line me up for some pretty impressive roles in the next 5-10 year period, but would majorly disrupt my home life (more travel, longer commute, longer hours, etc.). Honestly, we don’t need the money, and paying for extra child care to offset the hours ate up a decent amount of the raise. Still, I felt like I ‘should’ do it, because ambition! awesome career woman!
          But honestly, I am so glad I turned it down. Kids grow up really fast, I am still working in a great job with almost magical work/life flexibility, and I’ve got a lot of years to (hopefully) kill it when my so is bigger. Do what is right for you and ignore the ‘should’ in your head.

        • AnonCA

          Like others have said, it’s completely up to you but here’s my 2 cents: If you and your husband make enough money and you are personally and professional satisfied with your successes, I think it’s okay to not a take a step forward and concentration on the core of your happiness. You have to ask yourself what is the core of your happiness and move from there. If the core is work and your job then yes!, take on that role. If the core is kids and family then no!, don’t take on that role. Your kids will only be young once and you only have a few of these precious years to spend with them. I only say this because I sometimes have the same issue. I want to make more money and be more successful at what I do but when I ask myself, do I need to make more or get up higher? Do I need that extra $10K this money? The answer is no, my kids need me more. Would they rather we stay at a 4-star hotel than a 5-star hotel but get mommy home to make cookies with them every now than then? Yes. There are a lot of people who are less fortunate who get to spend extra time with their kids and are completely happy.

        • anon

          Another thing to think about is that, if you turn down a promotion, you won’t necessarily just keep the job you have now in the way you have it. People get treated differently when they are thought of as “up and comers.” If you signal that you have come up enough, thank you very much, you might find you enjoy even your current job less because people will treat you less well. Also, don’t always assume that more senior roles are more work and harder. Generally, I’d say as a very senior woman with small kids (who has gotten progressively more senior over the last few years) that my job is more family friendly now than it used to be. More psychologically stressing because I have more responsibility, but also more flexible because people adapt to my schedule. And sometimes flexible is what you need. Good luck!

          • SuziStockbroker

            I second this, secon hand. My husband was covering for his boss for 6 months (and able to backfill his own position with someone pretty competant) and he said the job was quite a bit easier than his job in that he then had people in the level below him he could really count on.
            I was surprised, and hadn’t been thrilled that he was going to act in that position (as so far every move up the hierarchy had meant more hours for him) but it worked out really well. He is now up for a permanent promotion to that level, and he (and I) are excited.
            Agree though that you need to make sure you have the personpower below you to do the job.

    • Vay-cay

      Would negotiating a nice long vacation before you start the new role be enough to rejuvenate you? Do you just need a rest? Or are you done?

  2. Techie

    I have an idea for a technological tool that I think has potential for broad and successful enterprise use. I work in the industry of this idea (cybersecurity), and have identified a need for it. Similar tools like my idea exist, but they are not widely used, and I believe mine offers capabilities and applications well beyond anything currently offered. Unlike a lot of cybersecurity tools, I think this is simple enough to appeal to broad audiences, investors, businesses, etc. It would offer both enhanced security and convenience to its users – a rare combination – as well as cost savings to companies.

    While I have enough technical knowledge to sketch the basic functions and design of this tool, I have nowhere near the skill to actually build it. I see myself more as the business side of this idea, and would absolutely need a more technical partner(s) to execute. As it’s software-based, it wouldn’t really take money/parts to build – just a fair amount of time.

    Any ideas on would I even begin to go about pursuing this? Book recommendations? I have no capital to put into it, so that is obviously the huge roadblock. Is it a thing to find an enthusiastic partner, build this together as a ‘project,’ and then go find investors? Am I silly and naive to even entertain this?

    • Chattanooga Choo-Choo

      In my city (Chattanooga) there is this thing called the gig-tank, which is a tech business startup accelerator program. Go check out their website. I’ve done mentoring for the gig-tank, as a financial mentor. I believe there are programs like this in many parts of the country, and the way it works is that a small team of people put forward a project or an invention and spend some time refining and developing it, and at the end of the program, they pitch it to investors who put up the capital for all or part of the project. You may want to look into something like that?

    • startup

      Boston has one of those too! I forget what it’s called but if that’s your city let me know and i can look it up. I have a friend that went through the program.

  3. Vogue

    This reminds me of Madonna in the Express Yourself days. But I like it.

    Question about FMLA/Mat. Leave/Etc.: I have a lot of sick leave saved up that I was planning to use for my maternity leave, in addition to some annual leave. I just found out that my employer only allows 6 weeks of sick leave to be used, 8 with a C-section, and the rest has to be annual leave or unpaid. HR did indicate that perhaps my doctor could require more time in which case they would comply.

    Anyone have luck with getting more sick leave than the 6-8 weeks that is apparently the norm? It feels ridiculous that I should have months and months of sick leave and have to take unpaid leave because my annual leave isn’t enough.

    • Bewitched

      The reason they generally don’t let you do this is that you re not sick after 6 weeks (vag delivery) or 8 weeks (c-section). So, unless there are complications, you can’t use sick leave if you aren’t actually sick. That’s the crappy US system!

      • BankrAtty

        Except that you can use sick leave to care for a sick or otherwise in-need-of-assistance family member… even though you’re not sick. Not sure why infant care shouldn’t qualify under this legitimate use of sick leave.

        • Bonnie

          You can use sick leave to take care of a sick infant, but not a healthy one.

    • LC

      Yup, Bewitched is right. It totally sucks. My impression from my own doctor is that they are very reluctant to require more time unless you are truly still recovering — there are ethical implications for them. The 6 weeks/8 weeks C-section rule comes from the medical side of things, and at least my doctor made clear that there was no wiggle room unless I really had some sort of complication.

      • Vogue

        I get the reasoning but what if I am sick with a cold during my leave? Or I have some other ailment unrelated to the recovery? This is all just so f’ing stupid.

        • Anon

          Then you just take sick leave for those days. Honestly, why should they just give you paid time off? Sick leave is for when you have a medical reason for not going to work. Otherwise, use your annual leave.

      • Anon

        This. I think there is also the potential of insurance fraud if STD is involved, as they would essentially be “lying” about the medical need for the leave. From what I hear, it is never done unless the extra recovery really is medically necessary.

        • Vogue

          There is no STD or insurance. I have generous sick leave and I never take it and it rolls over year to year. I was foolishly thinking I could use my sick leave for my mat leave. I have months and months saved up. But alas.

          The whole thing is doubly stupid because my plan was to work up to the end even though my doctor has encouraged me to stop work earlier and has offered to write a note, but I thought no, I want to work as much as I can to get things in order. Now I am questioning why I care. Ugh.

          • anon

            Well, can you use sick leave prior to delivery, if you are not feeling well and your doctor agrees? Or does that count toward your mat leave?

          • Vogue

            @ anon at 5:08 – that’s the thing. I can use it for just not feeling well now and it doesn’t count as mat leave but I want to be here to work so I am not leaving things unfinished for when I’m on leave. Not a very good way to reward employee hard work, as far as I can see.

          • Coach Laura

            Vogue – the only good news in this is that infants get sick a lot and most parents end up not taking sick days of their own after the birth. So if you don’t use up all your accrued sick leave immediately, you’ll be free to take days off when you or your child is sick instead of having to use vacation days.

            It wouldn’t hurt to ask HR if you could take a few extra weeks. They may say no but you could try.

      • CHS

        So is this standard across the US? The 6 weeks max for sick leave? Or just common? (Wondering about sick leave in particular, but interested in general in mat arrangements.)

        • Anon

          Since anything related to pregnancy and childbirth (and recovery therefrom) is considered an illness in the US, yes.

          ‘murica!

        • Vogue

          If you work for a company of 50+ employees here, you are officially entitled to 12 weeks of leave, but not a single day of it has to be paid unless you’re in a state or city that requires paid leave, which most states/cities do not.

          Some employers let you use your accrued sick time and/or annual leave time for your 12 weeks unpaid leave so that you can get paid for all/some of it. But apparently only 6 weeks of that can be sick leave because that’s how long this country has decided it takes a woman to recover from giving birth. If you have a C-section, you get two weeks extra. Woohoo.

        • Bonnie

          Unfortunately yes and the it’s actually even worse. The feds changed their policy fairly recently and now if you adopt, you’re limited to using annual leave.

      • BeenThatGuy

        Not exactly. Your OBGYN writes you out on leave. They cannot write you out on leave for post-partum. That can only be done through a Psychiatrist. When I went to my OB for help, at my Psychologists (not Psychiatrist) urging, she said, “your vagina is healed, I am required to write you back to work”.

        ‘murica!

      • Vogue

        I’m not trying to extend FMLA, just to use my sick time that I already have while I am on unpaid FMLA.

      • another option

        My OB/GYN was willing to write me off of work for a full year after my twins were born. It wasn’t all done at once, but about a month at a time. Your employer isn’t allowed to ask the nature of your illness and I didn’t volunteer it. I think post-partum depression was suspected. I used sick days to cover this time.

    • Anon

      I would imagine this is almost entirely dependent on your own workplace’s policy, but at my state government agency, we were allowed to use whatever sick and annual leave we had banked to make sure the 12 weeks off were paid. We also have a short-term disability policy that covered the first 6 weeks. Our HR rep also staggered the leave so that each week would be like 3 days sick, 2 annual. I don’t know if that got around some of the issues with using too much sick leave all at once or not. . .

    • Hollis

      You can try and negotiate with your employer for additional paid leave, especially if you can point out examples in your industry with your competitors are offering paid leave of x number of weeks. This is a hot issues right now so they should not be surprised. If they say “no,” then you are no better off. I would totally give it a shot.

    • Jules

      The FMLA regs allow for an employee to request, or an employer to force, the substitution of available, paid leave time for some or all of the unpaid FMLA leave entitlement. See 29 CFR 825.207. However, the substitution is subject to the employer’s existing policies. So, e.g., if you can use sick leave only for your own personal illness or injury, you cannot be forced or permitted to use sick leave while on FMLA for a family member’s illness or other FMLA-covered reason that does not involve your own health.

      The regs do permit the employer to waive the provisions of its policies to permit the substitution of paid leave. therefore, you can ask that the provision for the use of only 6 weeks of paid sick leave for the birth of a child be waived and that you be allowed to use more of your paid time.

  4. Calvin Klein

    How is the quality of Calvin Klein suits? Is there a suit with skirt/pants/sheath options that you like?

    I was in Marshall’s (!) recently and tried on a Calvin Klein sheath and it fit like a glove. I was shocked, as I had thought my life was doomed to tailoring everything (I am a slender high waisted pear – XS 34A top, and size 6ish bottom).

    Is there more than one line of Calvin Klein? Where do you buy them?

  5. ezt

    I think I’ve seen some comments on here recently about keeping a work “praise file.” What exactly is this — saving emails where someone compliments your work, or something more formal? — and how would you use it?

    • Praise File

      I do this and jokingly call it my “smiley folder.” It’s a folder in my email that’s labeled: “:)”

      I’m not even sure what to use it for. I sometimes look at the emails in there when I’m feeling down about myself or my work. I’d never actually forward any of those emails to anyone else.

      • Pretty Primadonna

        So, this is interesting to me because I am currently reading “Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office,” specifically the chapter on branding one’s self. which is something I sometimes struggle with. Frankel suggests keeping such a file, but also sharing those communications with your boss, superior, etc. While I don’t think every such communication merits being sent to my boss, I do think it would be appropriate (and fruitful) in some cases. Why do you say you would never forward those emails to anyone else?

        • Anon

          +1 In one instance, my boss was involved in a case I worked on. I handled 85% of the work and boss answered a couple questions and signed off on the final product. I got an email from the business contact gushing about the work and what a great job I did, and forwarded it to boss with the message “Looks like X was happy with the work we did.” It isn’t appropriate in every situation, but there are ways to appropriately pass one positive feedback to your supervisor.

        • Anon

          My personal strategy is that whenever I receive a “Hooray we finished XYZ big thing” email from a higher-up and I’m singled out in the email for my particular efforts, I will forward that to my boss with an “FYI the XYZ big thing is finally done!”. That way I get to put the praise in front of his eyes but (not so subtly) hide it under the FYI re: the big project being completed.

          • Pretty Primadonna

            I like this strategy as well as the one from Anon at 4:16. Great ideas!

        • Praise File

          I’ve read that advice, too, but I think it is highly dependent on your workplace and boss. I have a great relationship with the partner I work most with and will sometimes say something like, “Client sent me a really nice note yesterday; that’s going in the smiley folder.” If he sees or receives something nice about me, he’ll print it out and tell me to put it in my smiley folder.

          I guess I do sometimes forward nice emails to partners when the praise is fairly universal or when they’re thanking us for finishing up a matter. I just think it would look weird at my workplace to forward an email that’s just praising me. Not in a gendered way, just generally as part of the culture. We don’t have reviews and are fairly informal. I do a lot of self-promotion otherwise, and forwarding a lot of these emails would be overkill, and I truly think it would cause some eye rolls.

    • Me too

      I keep an email folder labeled “feel good”. I go back and read the stuff there if I’m having a crappy day in the office. It’s usually nice feedback from clients (extra feel good points if they copied the partner). I only use it as a mental check when I start to feel like I don’t know what I’m doing. Never forward it to anyone.

    • Diana Barry

      I use it for review time – look up what nice things people have said and put it in my self-evaluation.

    • Best Coast

      I’ve used it to help with year-end performance reviews (going back and remembering all of the things that I’ve worked on over the year) and to prepare for interviews (reminding me how freaking awesome I am).

    • Pep

      I keep a folder in my desk for annual accomplishments. Every time I take a course, get a new certification, get an award or recognition, get a complimentary email from a customer/client, take on a new responsibility, volunteer for an assignment or committee, etc., documentation of it goes in that folder. Then, in October when I’m doing my self-review, I pull it out and review the contents as a reminder of all the things I accomplished in the past year.

  6. Anonymous

    What’s your to-do list at work before going on a long vacation? I always seem to forget something, I think I need a checklist…

    • padi

      A week before my vacation, I go over my docket with my secretary and cover the time between now and 1 week after my return. That usually gives me a good to-do list for the week before my vacation. If anything comes up that has to be done while I am away, I inform my backup and brief him on what to do.

      I like clearing the week following vacation just so there are fewer surprises when I return and I can ease back into my work routine.

    • Anonymous

      I also put my out of office auto reply set to give me an extra day back in the office at the other end… so people don’t all expect a reply immediately when I get back!

  7. Pad thai

    Anyone have a good recipe for Pad Thai they can share, that has ingredients I will probably find at my local, large grocery store?

    Thanks!!

    • Anonymous

      Brooklyn Pad Thai from the book vegan with a vengeance. So good.
      I’m at the office so can’t post the recipe, maybe google for it?
      Seriously though the right approach to Pad THai is to carry out. So labor intensive.

        • AIMS

          I disagree. Pad Thai is very easy to make and once you buy all the stuff, easy to repeat for a lot less money than take out. It is also so much better than getting take out because those 10-15 minutes of travel time do matter.

          My go to recipe is the Mark Bittman one from the NYT. http://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1013121-pad-thai

          FYI: the first time I got all this stuff, I thought “what a waste of money” because I ended up buying a lot of stuff I didn’t have like tamarind paste and fish sauce. But then I needed to buy/spend very little to make it again and again and again, which was awesome.

          • Anonymous

            Enh, I’m vegetarian, and chopping all the veggies for pad thai takes FOREVER, not to mention the pressing and dry-frying tofu.

  8. Houda

    This is for Ru visiting Morocco
    I tried posting so many times on the previous thread, moderation is just frustrating so i’ll keep this one short:
    Casablanca to Fes or to Marrakech; go by train and you can buy tickets ahead of time online or at the station (www dot oncf dot ma)
    From Marrakech to other places in the south there are no trains so either buses or regional flights
    For going to other cities by bus go with (www dot ctm dot ma ) they are the most reliable and best service. Again you can buy online or at the station.
    Also we are having a heat wave so plan for it :)

    • Ru

      Thanks Houda!!! I really appreciate it. And if you’re in any of these cities, let’s meet up! Email me – Hijabeng at gmail

  9. Bonnie

    Need suggestions for a unique care package. My friend’s dog is going through chemo and I wanted to send the dog a package that will also make my friend smile. So far I have a pink bandana and a stuffed dog toy. Any other ideas?

    • Been there

      My sister did this for me and I really appreciated it. She included special treats – small ones because even though my pup was over 60 lbs, the chemo made him a little woozy the first 2 days after. She also included a blanket embroidered with his name. He didn’t “need” it, but he loved to lie on it. Thanks for thinking of your friend and her dog.

      • Wildkitten

        Blanket is a much classier version of my towel suggestion. Good ideas, BT!

    • Wildkitten

      Towels. Antler. Canned pumpkin. The book “Underwater dogs.” Movies she can watch while cuddling with the pup while he doesn’t feel good? (NO MOVIES WHERE DOGS DIE!).

      I don’t have canine chemo experience specifically, just other dog sickness, so there might be more specific suggestions.

      • Anon

        Not a dog movie anecdote, but I have a funny story about movie deaths. My siblings and I were home at Christmas one year and decided to take my mom to the latest fun family comedy – The Family Stone. We hadn’t really read the reviews or synopses, we just knew it was a comedy about a family coming together at Christmas and figured it would be right up her alley. Spoiler alert: the mom in the movie dies of breast cancer. My mom had just finished undergoing her own breast cancer treatment, and lost her mom to cancer. Luckily, my mom has a sense of humor. We all felt like a**holes though.

    • Killer Kitten Heels

      Fancy dog treats? If the treatment disrupts the dog’s appetite, fancy treats might be a good way to entice the dog to eat. Also maybe a soft blanket or bed? When my little guy got old (no chemo treatments, but just very old and arthritic and achy and with a couple of recurring health things that required ongoing vet visits), we found we needed to have a nice comfy dog bed in every single room of the house, because he wanted to always be where we were, but it was no longer comfy for him to just stretch out on the floor like he did when he was younger. Also he became super-obsessed with his one particular blanket (probably a smell thing? I have no idea, but I know he was all about the blankie), and taking that blanket with us when he went back and forth to the vet for various things seemed to keep him somewhat more relaxed than he was in the pre-blankie days.

  10. K

    Hi all – regular reader and occasional commenter here. I’m a junior attorney at a high-volume litigation government office. We are currently understaffed and having difficulty finding enough attorneys to handle all our already scheduled trials. Discovery and motions are already getting pushed to evenings and weekends. I have learned that several (more than three) junior attorneys are about to leave. I would like to tough this out because I really love my work and have very good chances of eventually becoming a supervisor in this office, but I am feeling nervous about what I’m in for. Does anyone have any thoughts on what I can do now to prep for the upcoming crunch once these attorneys leave? I should have about two weeks of relative quiet in the office before things get hairy. Any survival tips are welcome.

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