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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 218 Comments · by

Suit of the Week: Reiss

Suit of the Week

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For busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional. Perhaps it's new, or perhaps today is the first day I've noticed it: but Reiss has an online sales outlet with a suiting section! Who knew? I like this curve front jacket (still available in lots of sizes) and this wide and comfy-looking pair of pants (lucky sizes 0, 6, and 8). Thanks to the discount you can get what would have been a $550+ suit for just over $200 — not bad at all. The jacket (Maxine CURVE FRONT JACKET) was $360, but is now $108, and the pants (Geneva WIDE LEG FORMAL PANT) were $210, but are now $105.
Maxine CURVE FRONT JACKET Reiss Geneva WIDE LEG FORMAL PANT
(L-5)

Sales of note for 9.10.24

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Comments

  1. Blonde Lawyer

    I posted this very late last night so I want to post it here again.

    I love a short sleeved green dress I have seen on Jill Biden. I would equally love the dress on Ann Romney so this is not a political post.

    I found a picture of her in it but it is in a “four more years” picture from Obama’s facebook page. Sorry I couldn’t find a less partisan picture of it. Can anyone identify the dress and where one could buy it?

    http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151251942346749&set=a.53081056748.66806.6815841748&type=1&theater

  3. TO Lawyer

    Uh oh… now I’m down the black hole of Reiss’ sale section… My credit card may be in trouble…

  4. Bunkster

    Snow! I was supposed to go to an event tonight, but the snow and the freezing temperatures are making me want to go home and curl up in my pajamas. Also, I just got a flu shot and my arm is killing me.

    • Almost There

      Are you in DC?

      I can’t wait to go home, so tired from last night, I just want to cuddle up and eat soup.

    • phillygirlruns

      ugh. same, re snow and work event. that, and the insistence of one of the partners here that his wife has a great guy she’s just DYING to set up with someone. no, won’t be awkward at all to be at that guy’s table tonight.

      • AnonAZ

        Still in the 90’s here… can’t imagine snow either! Or where I put my jackets for when it finally gets “cold” (i.e., in the 50’s :)

      • SF Bay Associate

        Yesterday’s high was in the low 80s here. Indian summer (is that un PC?) is super late this year.

    • NOLA

      I hear you! Last night, it was so cold in my house and I hadn’t turned the heat back on and I just had dental work. I thought about going to the gym, then thought better of it. I didn’t leave the house at all. Just ate pumpkin ravioli out of my freezer and curled up in my gigantic sweatshirt with my kitty.

    • CKB

      Me too! Except the snow hasn’t started yet, but will later today, and my flu shot was yesterday, so I couldn’t sleep on my left side all night because it hurt. And my work event is a hockey game with my boss & my fellow regional ops controller, so at least I can wear jeans & comfy clothes.

      • Bunkster

        My event isn’t work. It’s an alumni cocktail party at a local bar, but I’d have to take the red line to the orange line to get there and then get back to the red line to go home to my car.

        I think I’m going to bail.

        • Bunkster

          Oops, in moderation because of c*cktail party. Decided to bail on my event, because it’s not work-related. It’s an alumni thing.

    • Cb

      Ugh, I had class til 8:30 tonight and it was a countdown until I could get home and into my jammies.

  5. manomanon

    I signed up to do an online training this afternoon… with a system whose voice for these gives me nightmares… meanwhile it’s pouring rain and windy enough to transport someone to Oz… I just want to go home and bake like my coworkers!

    • manomanon

      And it turns out there is a 2 hour conference call as part of the training
      Ugh

  6. Poultry over politics

    Now that November 6 is behind us, lets turn our sights towards the other major US happening in November – Thanksgiving!!

    Any great side dishes/desserts? I need some new inspiration!

        • Bunkster

          Oops, in moderation because of c*cktail party. Decided to bail on my event, because it’s not work-related. It’s an alumni thing.

      • Sydney Bristow

        I made that last year and it was fantastic. Everyone loved it and it got eaten way quicker than everything else. Don’t cut back on the sugar. It is absolutely necessary to cut the tartness of the cranberries.

        Now I want to make it again, but I’m already making apple pie and we are ordering Fresh Direct thanksgiving this year so that will come with another dessert. Someone tell me that 3 pies isn’t too much for 4 people. Please?

        • zora

          3 pies is not too much for 4 people….
          Also: There is no such thing as Too Much Pie, that is like a nonexistent thing, I don’t even understand those words together….

        • Meg Murry

          Pie is the ultimate post holiday breakfast food in my family. Never too much pie.

      • Hmm

        THIS THING IS SO GOOD. I make that pie/cake thingy every year. I’d recommend adding some orange zest in the batter and some freshly squeezed orange right over the cranberries.

    • Lyssa

      We made this pie: http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Maple-Apple-Pie-with-Walnut-Streusel-361273
      from Bon Appetite a few weeks ago, and it was Oh. My. God. So good. Our family’s Thanksgiving usually has something like 37 pies, so I’m not sure that I want to bring it and risk it just getting lost in the shuffle, but I’m dying to make it again. BTW, I didn’t have maple sugar, so I just mixed together some regular sugar with some maple syrup and it seemed to work fine.

        • AIMS

          Oh my god, am I in moderation because I said cumin?? This is making my 13 yr old inner self giggle.

          • lucy stone

            My extremely Catholic law school had a public interest chili cookoff and somebody made “Cumin in Your Mouth” chili. It was hilarious.

          • UMM

            My ugrad’s radio station was KUMM (based on the initials of the school). I believe they had tshirts and bumper stickers that proclaimed “The only radio station that puts KUMM in your ear”.

            So, yeah – college.

          • Anon

            When I was growing up in the Bay Area there was a KOME radio station that advertised on the local bus lines. People used to talk about riding the KOME bus. No joke!

    • anon in tejas

      suggestions on how to configure a menu. we’re going to do a relatively small dinner with my brother in law and his new wife. it’ll be 5 of us total, and it feels like we all want too much food. what’s a reasonable number of side dishes and desserts without going into crazy excess?

      • AIMS

        We always end up having too much food. But it helps to keep it to categories, e.g., potato, vegetable, salad or soup, main, desert (or whatever other variation). You may want to throw in sweet potatoes if that’s a favorite. And then just halve most of the recipes. I’d also omit a whole turkey in favor of, say, a pan roasted turkey breast. If you have a gourmet food place you like nearby, consider getting some of the food there so you can control the portion sizes – it’s easier to get 6 different small side things than it is to make 6 different small things.

        • Nonny

          One year when it was just me and my parents for Christmas, we did three Cornish game hens. It was perfect – like a little mini-turkey for each person. We even stuffed them. Delicious and a little more exciting than a pan-roasted turkey breast if you don’t have many people.

          • AIMS

            That sounds so delicious and festive! I think I may do that for my next me and the mister holiday.

        • TW

          For turkey breast, I recommend Rachael Ray’s herb-roasted turkey breast with pan gravy recipe (link to follow). The herb paste gives a really nice flavor to the turkey breast.

          I think we always end up with too much food for small Thanksgiving dinners: turkey breast, mashed potatoes, a green vegetable, stuffing (sometimes 2 kinds), gravy, and pie.

        • anon in tejas

          we are likely going to to a turkey breast (or two smaller ones) instead of a whole bird. I think that my brother in law wants to brine, but this looks like a great recipe as well! I’ll be sure to pass it along. thanks for the suggestions!

      • a.k.

        one side dish per person will probably feel like a good amount. I find that even if I don’t eat very much, I really love having a variety of dishes at Thanksgiving.

        You could scale back your turkey to a large breast. Unless someone really loves dark meat or needs a lot of leftovers, that way you can focus more on the side dishes.

        • anon in tejas

          we are likely going to do turkey breast instead of a whole bird. I like the side dishes too, and that’s more like my favorite part. So I am hopeful that we can do like 5 different things.

      • Always a NYer

        I’m cooking the following Thanksgiving dinner for myself, my mother, and grandmother. Turkey breast because none of us like dark meat. For sides – stuffing, mashed white potatoes, baked sweet potatoes, green beans, canned and fresh cranberries, and popovers. Dessert will be apple pie and cupcakes. Traditional but not more than I can handle.

      • Research, Not Law

        Do you want leftovers? We do more than for Thanksgiving than for a usual dinner so that guests can take home a meal worth of leftovers.

        I’d do 4-5 sides and 1-2 desserts. I’d do stuffing, potatoes (mashed or sweet), green beans, and another vegetable (corn pudding, cauliflower gratin, brussel sprouts). Plus gravy. Dessert is my favorite, so I’d do two (pumpkin or sweet potato; apple, pear, cranberry), but you could do one if everyone agreed.

        • anon in tejas

          we are trying to avoid waaay too many left overs. We’ll be travelling by car, and although we will have a cooler and can transport stuff back, I’d rather not deal with too much left overs or leave it for my brother in law to deal with.

    • TBK

      Great idea! Anyone have a good squash soup recipe? I want to serve this with cornbread as the first course (then smoked turkey, courtesy of Mr. TBK, and AMAZING sausage stuffing courtesy of my MIL, the quintessential Southern lady).

      • Fiona

        If you don’t mind a little work, Thomas Keller’s Butternut Squash Soup from his Bouchon cookbook is the best soup in the entire world ever ever ever. I won’t post the link to avoid moderation, but it is easy to find on the Google.

      • Sydney Bristow

        I don’t have one, but I fell in love with apple butternut squash soup last winter. I can’t find it anymore, so ill probably break down and make it. It adds a nice dimension to the normal squash soup.

      • Herbie

        TBK, don’t know if this will be helpful to you or not, but here’s how I make squash soup.

        * Heat oven to 350. Cut squash in half, scoop out seeds/guts. Put squash flesh-face up in roasting pan, fill pan with as much water as possible without water covering the flesh. Brush olive oil on to flesh and sprinkle with cinnamon, nutmeg, and a little salt and pepper. Roast in oven for at least 45 min. The end result should be super soft so you can scoop out the squash and easily mash.

        * Put scooped out squash in blender. Add chicken stock (or veggie – what have you) slowly and blend until pureed. Transfer to pot, where you’re going to add the rest of your stock. At this point, I usually get the immersion blender involved. You could do it piecemeal in a blender, though.

        * I always add just a little cream to give it a fuller mouth feel.

        * Add salt / pepper as needed.

        That’s pure squash soup. But for flavor dimension, I’ll also usually separately roast peeled apples and fennel. Toss them w/ olive oil and salt, then do the same thing w/ blender/stock. If I don’t have fresh fennel, I’ll toast fennel seeds (add fennel seeds to sauce pan over high heat; heat until toasted; easy) and toss the veggies-for-roasting with them.

        • Herbie

          Oh, I forgot to mention. The last time I toasted fennel seeds, I ground them up w/ pestle & mortar before sprinkling over the veggies. That works better than having whole fennel seeds.

      • rosie

        I make a savory squash soup based off a recipe from the cookbook “Vegetarian Cooking for Everyone.” Here’s what I do:
        1. Cut butternut squash in half (I like a mixture of delicata and butternut). Paint/spray with olive oil and put 1-2 garlic cloves (unpeeled) in the bulb part of each half and cook in oven until soft when poked with a fork (start with 30-40 min at 350F). (Note, squash is also delicious to eat like this if you don’t want to make soup.)
        2. While the squash is cooking, chop onion and sautee in olive oil in soup pot.
        3. When squash is done, scoop out the flesh and add to the pot with oil and onions. Peel and add the garlic cloves.
        4. Add stock or water–I want to say 2 quarts for 2-3 squash.
        5. Cook about 30 min, blend to desired consistency–I use an immersion blender.

        Sage is a good seasoning for it. I think the recipe actually suggests fry sage leaves in the oil, removing them, and then using that oil for the onions, but I never have fresh sage, so I just add some dried while the onions are cooking.

      • zora

        OMG, that is hilarious! When i was vegan, this was my go-to Tgiving main dish! I LOVE it. But if you can get your hands on Delicata squash, I like them better, the flavor is a little sweeter and richer than acorn squash. But I am so with you on Tofurkey I couldn’t understand why other vegans wanted to eat it, and i would make this and the other bonus is it looks way fancier than it is, so people think you’re some kind of genius chef ;o)

        Tell your brother a former vegan backs you up ;o) I can get you some other recipes of things i used to make for Tgiving if you want, you know how to get me.

        • karenpadi

          Thanks! I’ll try to find a delicata squash. I have another person coming who doesn’t eat dairy so all of my side dishes–except the mashed potatoes, gravy, and cranberry sauce–are going to be vegan (shhh! don’t tell Grandma). Turns out, you can mash sweet potatoes using applesauce instead of milk and butter!

          • AK

            Delicata Squash are also delicious when baked in the oven with olive oil, salt, and pepper. We got 3 in a CSA box, and cooked them like this (425 for 30 minutes, flip half way through), and ate them like sweet potato fries!

        • NOLA

          My friend and her boyfriend had Thanksgiving at my house last year. She brought Tofurkey. Her boyfriend and I declined and had turkey. Then again, she’s the one who showed up with potatoes, a bowl, a masher, and a recipe for mashed potatoes. She can’t cook!

      • roses

        I’m a vegetarian and extremely adventurous with meat substitutes, but I cannot *stand* tofurkey!!! Honestly, I’m pretty sure it’s the worst meat substitute ever made. It’s always dry and tasteless.

      • JessBee

        Oh, man, we had Tofurkey one year when my mom was on a vegetarian kick– that nearly broke her resolution by itself, it was so awful! At the time, it came in ridiculous shapes, like cartoon drumsticks. It was like a meat-flavored jello jiggler. ::shudder::

    • Research, Not Law

      I’m adding cauliflower gratin this year. I’ll use Julia Childs recipe, but it’s probably similar to this one http://www.marthastewart.com/355538/cauliflower-gratin

      I’m going to make a second attempt at an apple and parsnip pie, too. The parsnips didn’t soften in my first attempt last year, so I’m thinking that I’ll pre-cook?

    • DC Association

      For a small crowd, I think you can get away with turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and one green vegetable.

      To add color and if you don’t like sweet potatoes, there is an awesome “Carrot Souffle” from Cooking Light that is delicious and so pretty. You can find it on MyRecipes dotcom. the great thing about it is you can make it ahead and put in the fridge, and just pop in the oven.

      By far the best pumpkin pie recipe I’ve ever made is from Cook’s Illustrated The Best Recipes. It’s a bit time consuming because they have you cook the canned pumpkin on the stove, but it is so worth it.

    • Gail the Goldfish

      sweet potato souffle. I look forward to it every year. I’ll post the recipe when I get home tonight, but it’s basically just sweet potatoes with a ridiculous amount of butter and sugar and a bit of vanilla. Traditionally it’s topped with either marshmallows or crushed pecans (and maybe some brown sugar with the pecans?), but I prefer it plain.

      • Gail the Goldfish

        Recipe: 3 cups mashed sweet potatoes, 1 cup regular sugar, 2 eggs, 1 stick butter (softened), 1 tablespoon vanilla extract. Combine ingredients, pour into buttered 1 qt casserole dish. Bake for 30 minutes at 350 degrees farenheit.

        • EB0220

          For bonus points, chop some nuts (whatever you like), mix with brown sugar and butter mixture, and spread on top. MMMMMMMM!

    • Anonymous

      Alton Brown’s frozen blueberry pie (served room temp, like a normal pie). I use frozen wild blueberries (Wyler’s brand) and it is fantastic, as well as a change from the usual pumpkin, apple, etc.

  7. JD/MBAs

    Do any JD/MBAs frequent this site? I’m looking at law school and my mentor asked if I had thought about a joint degree as well. From what I understand, the value of a joint degree is highly dependent on the individual/career goals. If anyone has any tips on what I should be researching or any good resources on the topic, I’d appreciate it!

    • LeChouette

      Agreed — highly dependent on career goals. Many of the people I know who did it are not pursuing careers as lawyers (i.e. not taking the bar in several cases) but rather careers in real estate, or as agents, i.e. business jobs that require extensive expertise in negotiations and reading contracts. Some programs make a JD MBA not that much more expensive than just a JD (such as Northwestern I believe), but generally I would say caveat emptor. If you think you want to be a lawyer (particularly a litigator) or are just not sure, you should do some more thinking before investing that kind of money. I don’t know that MBAs are particularly valued in law firms, but I can’t speak to the in-house context.

    • Divaliscious11

      I have both. I did mine separately, finishing my JD first and then going back for my MBA after practicing for 8 years. I wish I’d done them both at the same time from both a cost perspective, as well as a time perspective – did my MBA part-time while practicing. I have a fairly broad commercial practice, in-house, so I found the MBA material interesting and applicable, but not rocket science. I enjoyed the strategy work the most and the math-y stuff the least.

      You should think about what you want to do – do you want to be a business/commercial attorney w/ an MBA or do you want to work in business w/legal training? Unless you want to go work on Wall Street, I’d focus on the quality of the law school vs the b-school. There are, of course, schools with top programs in each field. I’ve heard heard differing opinions with regard to whether you should apply to one or the other first, or both as a joint candidate. My recommendation, based on my experience is if given the option (ie…joint application or separately accepted by both programs) do 1st year of b-school first, then first year of law school. You’ll stay with your classmates in the longer program, and if you intend to journal/law review or do any competitive advocacy, you’ll be in better shape than if you leave school/campus for a year. Of course, if you primarily want to work in business, you may not want to journal (unless you have a Business Lawyer type of journal) in which case, you may want to stay with your b-school classmate, but they will leave you behind as you will only be doing half year curriculum in year 3 and 4…..

      hth

      • Plan B

        This. I do corporate transactional work in-house, and I wish I’d done both at the same time, but I also knew I wasn’t likely to stay in a firm for very long. I would definitely weigh how the MBA fits into your long-term goals before committing to an extra year of tuition, though.

    • MacKaylaLane

      First, why are you looking at law school? Just be sure you know why you are thinking of law school before you spend $160k+ and 3 years of your life on it.

      I believe JD/MBA programs make you pay for that one extra year of school as an MBA student (at least Penn does). While economical if you definitely want both (because you want to do consulting/finance/go in house as an attorney), it’s going to be pricey (unless you get a full ride somewhere…).

      Not knowing what your goals are, it’s difficult to suggest resources, but I guess I would look into the backgrounds of those who hold the kinds of positions that you want.

    • well...

      It worked for Mitt (JD/MBA Harvard) except the part about not being elected President.

    • JD/MBAs

      Thanks for the responses. For clarification, I’m interested in corporate law, and I can see how an MBA would help with the understanding of general business concerns/priorities. I don’t think the dual degree would necessarily be a huge selling point when applying to jobs, but I’m thinking farther down the line it might be important for an in-house/GC position.

      As an aside, I work in consulting now (so quant focused – lots of MBAs/PhDs) which is why my mentor encouraged me to look into the option as a way to bridge my interests (law and economics).

      • January

        FWIW, you don’t specifically need an MBA to practice corporate law in a law firm– I know some corporate lawyers who have them, and plenty who do not — and some law schools offer business for lawyers courses, which will cover the basics. I can’t speak to the in-house/GC setting.

        • Rural Juror

          Agree I have both and you definitely don’t need the MBA. I do think it helps though, definitely doesn’t hurt. I wouldn’t say it helped my chances of getting a job, but it helps me in my day-to-day understanding on the job. I also don’t feel like it is extra-appreciated by the partners at my firm or anything, but I agree i think it will be super helpful for trying to go in-house later in life. I also find it great for networking with business clients – oh I have an MBA from ___ too! etc. If you have the extra time and money to do a joint degree, go for it!!

      • cbackson

        I’d say that it is, by far, the exception rather than the rule for transactional lawyers to have MBAs.

        I don’t see a lot of value added if you intend to enter private practice, to be honest.

    • TT

      Frequent lurker here, but I have a JD/MBA and thought I’d chime in. I applied for the MBA program during the 2nd year of my JD when firms cut their summer programs significantly due to the recession. I was in state and my family was helping with my tuition, so the extra year wasn’t too much of a financial hit for me. It started as an attempt to make myself more marketable to firms, but I ended up loving business school so much that I had no desire to practice law. I now work in analytics, do no legal work (I did pass the bar though), and am very happy with my decision.

      I’d think about what you want to do and see if the schools you are interested in will connect you to some graduates of their JD/MBA programs so you can talk to them about their experiences and how they are using their degrees. Most of my friends are working in fields where only one degree was necessary (investment banking, corporate law, business analytics), but the extra degree might have given them an edge. If you’re still not sure, you can take the GMAT now and apply to the MBA program during your first or second year of law school if you decide you want to at that point.

  8. Ginger

    Any tea drinkers out there? I was recently informed that my American habit of using tea bags is… sub par. I’ve also read about all of the wonderful advantages of drinking green tea. Anyone with brewing instructions/sources for loose leaf tea?

    • sweetknee

      I have tried to get into tea. . . THere are only a few that I like, since I like really stong flavors. If you are in a major metropolitan area, check to see if any mall around you has a Teavana. They have a website, and I have bought tea from their location in Charlotte, NC. It’s fun to go there and just smell things. They can also give you good advice about what flavors go together.

    • Alana

      If you brew green tea for more than, say, 4 minutes, it tends to get bitter. In addition to Teavana in malls, I have found great loose green tea blends at a local farmers’ market and a cafe with a supplier from a larger city. There are many types of tea infusers, from bare bones, to sophisticated, to whimsical. Some tea drinkers insist on chlorine-free water.

      Happy tea-drinking!

    • AIMS

      Yes! Brewing your own tea is super easy, don’t let it intimidate you. All you need is good loose tea and a little tea pot. I have lots of little tea pots. Just look for is a good quality ceramic or glass with a good spout (shouldn’t be too wide and should have a good curve so that loose tea doesn’t rush out). You can also take a lot of the guess work by getting a Bodum (or similar) tea pot (e.g., http://www.zappos.com/bodum-assam-tea-press-with-stainless-steel-filter-34-oz-steel?ef_id=bJFOFEV4ukYAAI@7:20121107204453:s)

      Anyway, how much tea you’ll need is a matter of some experimentation and preference. I basically alternate depending on my purposes. I like about a tea spoon leaves per large cup. I also like to make a strong little tea pot and then just use it as a sort of starter – i.e., pour in, say, 1/3 brewed tea to a cup and add hot water to desired strength. This is great if you’re settling in for the night.

      For green tea, you shouldn’t use boiling water. It should be about 175 degrees, not 212. I have an electric kettle that has different tea settings for green tea, white, black, and french press. It’s awesome. I am always surprised that people in the US don’t use electric tea kettles more – it’s so much faster and it shuts itself off so you never have to worry about getting it off the stove. Mine also has an auto reheat button that will keep the water at a constant temp if pressed. If you drink a lot of tea, I cannot recommend one of these enough.

      • TBK

        My issue with loose tea is that either it sits in a filter (and is therefore not able to fully unfurl as I hear is desirable) or it’s all swirling around in the pot and I don’t know how to get it out. I have an English friend I’ve been meaning to ask. She brings this big, brown pottery pot to the table and the tea in it is free from leaves but is strong without being bitter. Sigh. I need to ask for her secret.

        • PollyD

          To add to what CB said, I use an individual-sized french press pot for making tea, ideal for making one cup/mug. I have this idea that the tea needs to be swirling around in the water to extract all the good flavors. Also, black tea DOES need boiling water. Which is why you should not use microwaved water unless you make really sure it is ALL boiling. Apparently you can get boiling “spots” of water, but other areas of water are not boiling, so the overall water temp is below boiling.

          • Lalo

            I have the most amazing french press travel mug (I believe bodum) that I use every single day, at least 3 times. I also have a multi-setting electric kettle that has 5 settings, plus a “keep warm” for even quicker reheating for the subsequent cups.

        • Nonny

          You can pour it through a strainer if the leaves bother you. But as an ardent tea drinker, I have to say a few leaves never hurt anyone. They generally just filter down into the bottom of the cup. Did you know that in some countries (e.g. Burma), people eat tea leaves as a vegetable? Just consider it extra nutrients. :-)

        • AP

          Try the For Life brand extra fine stainless steel strainer. It’s big enough to let the tea unfurl, can be used for mugs or pots, and is super easy to clean.

        • anon in tejas

          i have an ingenuiTEA tea strainer. i love it, and it’s what started me on drinking loose leaf

          • In the Pink

            restoration hardware has a new stainless steel strainer with steel “string” and silicone stopper…a stocking stuffer now. Easy and simple to clean. Looks like a “tea bag.” I’ve tried a million different ones.

            Our local RH was selling loose leaf tea as well…quite intense and original blends. Bellocq.

            I have searched for an equivalent Dragon’s Eye Ooolong like pf chang’s serves…like the fancy pants ones in pyramid white screen bags…but far too pricey. Would be interested in rx for loose teas…thoughts?

            I have a black version of the UK “Brown Betty.” I brew the day’s tea in there. Then as the day progresses, I decant some of the intense into my large mug and add hot water from an electric kettle. Seamless, really. If you have access to a store that carries UK goods, you’re sure to find one.

            Cheers!

    • Cb

      Get the Bodum teapot with the press inside. Makes everything so much quicker and easier, I think you get a stronger flavor than with the tea balls. I like the Republic of Tea white teas. If you’re travelling abroad, definitely pick up the Palais de The and Mariage Frere (France). Whittard in the UK is nice but I actually love the Harvey Nichols lavender Earl Grey.

    • Freyja

      DH swears by green tea for health reasons and tea in the evenings has become our little ritual in the fall-winter. It’s so cozy. Echo the comments re: not using boiling water, use it just before it boils. When I am in a place like S.F., I stop in at the real tea shops in Chinatown, but otherwise I order online from someplace like Rishi Tea. FWIW, green tea can have caffeine; from a tea barrista once I learned a method for taking caffeine out – steep your leaves in 2″ of hot water for two minutes, pour that out, and then add fresh hot water, steep a few minutes, and enjoy. The tea leaves lose supposedly 90% of the caffeine but retain plenty of brewing power for the next cup or two.
      We have a great, real English tea kettle with nice whistle, which we use constantly and looks pretty on the stove, but I also second the comment re: electric kettle, they are so convenient!

    • Equity's Darling

      I go to a little locally owned tea shop near me usually, and I honestly hate pretty much all the strainers, so I bought these little bags that you fill with your good looseleaf and use like regular tea. I get mine from my local supplier in like…little plastic bags full of them,

      But if you google “t-sac tea filters” and “davids tea”, click on the first link you’ll see what I mean. I make like 30 little tea bags at a time, and then they’re always handy- then I can be a tea snob with my loose tea, and not have to deal with washing those strainers. Make sure you leave lots of room for the tea to expand in the bags, I put in a teaspoon for the entire bag usually.

      And, most good suppliers will include suggestions for brewing time and heat for the various teas. If it says to steep at 90, for example, I’ll usually boil water and then let it sit for 5-10m, then pour over my tea, if it says steep at 100, I’ll pour it over my tea right away. I’ve found that green is usually lower temps, but it’s not always the case.

    • applesandcheddar

      I love green tea. If you’re new to it it might be too strong for you, so I would suggest trying some of the flavored green tea leaves. I really like mango or pineapple green tea, but I can usually only find them at specialty shops. I also absolutely love jasmine green tea, which is really easy to find.

      • In the Pink

        I also buy Empress ceylon tea (sadly in regular tea bags) from a local Russian grocer. Every bit as strong, but rounder/milder than my beloved TyPhoo or Whittard’s.

        Annies Tea Time dot com has a wide variety of Whittards for us Yanks.

        • In the Pink

          Correction:

          Impra tea from ceylon (but a Russian vendor with a picture of a Victorian-era or N&Alexandra-era lady at a samovar)…charming.

  9. Snoozy

    With thanks to everyone who posted advice for my narcoleptic self a few weeks back…I had a 30 minute EEG today and for the first time ever DIDN’T FALL ASLEEP!!!! (My neurologist was very impressed too.) Maybe with increased medication I’ll actually be able to get a life in the near future. (I’ve implemented a few changes at work, which has been going well, but falling asleep three or four times an evening before 9pm really puts a crimp in your social life.)

    Sorry for the thread-jack, but I wanted to share the good news!

    (Oh, and here’s some advice – don’t schedule an EEG before work unless you can wash your hair afterwards. I had to squeeze in a trip to the hairdresser – who was nice enough to wash my hair without an appointment for a small fee – because I’d forgotten that my hair and EEG glue don’t look good together. Simultaneously greasy and flaky. Eeek. Lucky my neuro is near my hairdresser!)

    • Blonde Lawyer

      Such good news! Are you feeling more rested too or just able to fight off the actual sleep?

      • Snoozy

        At the moment, it’s more about fighting off the actual sleep. But not having my eyelids drooping constantly is a good start! And being awake more means I sleep better at night (since another narcolepsy symptom is horrible nightmares from which you wake up frozen in the wrong REM phase and unable to move – yuck), so I’m hopeful the actual rest will come.

        I hope everyone else who posted about chronic conditions is doing as well as possible, and not struggling under too many comments from “helpful” relatives and acquaintances who know someone’s second cousin’s husband who had the same condition and cured themselves by doing upside-down yoga at midnight by the light of a blue moon while drinking a special cocktail extracted from virgin starfish and dust from Mars. (At least narcolepsy gives me a legit reason to doze off when such people start rambling…)

        Thanks again for the advice. My colleagues have been much more understanding than I thought, even the one who has a pretty horrible schedule as a result of me not being able to make it in super-early. People are generally quite nice!

        • Snoozy

          Erg, moderation!

          At the moment, it’s more about fighting off the actual sleep. But not having my eyelids drooping constantly is a good start! And being awake more means I sleep better at night (since another narcolepsy symptom is horrible nightmares from which you wake up frozen in the wrong REM phase and unable to move – yuck), so I’m hopeful the actual rest will come.

          I hope everyone else who posted about chronic conditions is doing as well as possible, and not struggling under too many comments from “helpful” relatives and acquaintances who know someone’s second cousin’s husband who had the same condition and cured themselves by doing upside-down yoga at midnight by the light of a blue moon while drinking a special c*cktail extracted from virgin starfish and dust from Mars. (At least narcolepsy gives me a legit reason to doze off when such people start rambling…)

          Thanks again for the advice. My colleagues have been much more understanding than I thought, even the one who has a pretty horrible schedule as a result of me not being able to make it in super-early. People are generally quite nice!

  10. Almost There

    Uggghh I can’t stop watching the clock. Let’s play a game or have a survey thread or something… anyone? No ideas in my head today.

    • TBK

      In the spirit of turning away from the election and onto Thanksgiving, we could share Thanksgiving horror stories. (Feel free to expand to family gathering-related horror stories if you like.)

      • Always a NYer

        My dear uncle let my grandmother know that he wouldn’t be joining us for Thanksgiving this year because it was “easier” to spend the day with friends that live twenty minutes north of them rather than that 2.5hours north we live. And what really got me angry was how he added that they “could visit us the Saturday before or after as the traffic will be better for him and his family.” They aren’t welcome. If we aren’t good enough to spend the actual holiday with, I don’t want to see him until he tries to reschedule the next holiday. He also didn’t spend the first Thanksgiving after my grandfather’s passing with us, but mostly his mother, because his wife decided it would be better to accept the invite from friends that lived closer. I really see how people cut family ties. It would be one thing for him to do this to my mother and I, but my grandmother is too good to say anything even though I know how hurt she is by this.

        • Vera

          I think this is kind of a good idea actually. Although I am not that into holidays, so perhaps my perspective is off.

        • Mpls

          Well, would you make the 2.5 hr trip to visit him?

          I kind of get his rationale, and thought his offer to come later is the weekend was a nice compromise. Granted I don’t know the entire back story, but I don’t see anything majorly wrong with what he did. I also come from a large extended family, so you celebrate with whoever is in town, people take turns hosting, but no one is offended when someone makes alternate plans, like my family(siblings and parents) sometimes does since I have family (aunts/uncles/cousins) from both sides in town and two T-day dinners can be a bit much (we actually tried that one year).

        • eastbaybanker

          I am also avoiding battling traffic for hours and plan to visit family the weekend after. Not everyone places the same value on the actual holiday date.

        • TBK

          We’re doing Christmas over MLK weekend to avoid traveling on the actual holiday. I think a lot of people do this and it strikes me as very sensible. And for This Time Just C, did you ask her why she wasn’t coming? Maybe she hates you all, but maybe she has something else going on — exhaustion with small kiddos, in-law disputes, etc. Holidays are really tough as we all grow up. It’s just hard to have the same traditions as people grow up, get married, have their own kids.

        • kiley

          this is kind of a huge over reaction on your part. 2.5 hours means 5 hours of driving total. that is a beast. I think offering to come the weekend before or after is a really great compromise. hax gives my favorite reality checks to these kind of questions, I think people get really hyped up over the holidays. I think you should submit this to her as written. I understand how protective you may feel about your grandmother, but I think you should work on a compromise, and realize that his request is not unreasonable in the slightest.

        • Always a NYer

          Let me clarify, my family is very small, as in my grandmother, my mom and her brother. As for driving to them, we have when invited but they often choose friends over family. My grandmother is 80 and the journey is getting hard on her but is doable for my uncle’s family if they saw it worth their effort. And no, I don’t see myself overreacting because we see my uncle and his family three, maybe four times a year if he and his wife find it convenient. As for visiting another time, I find it insulting because they never make any effort to see my grandmother. I understand that all families are different but respecting elders is important in mine. Too bad my uncle lost that value.

          • Anon

            Yeah, but they are saying they could come the weekend before or after, your/grandmother’s choice. And they will make the five-hour drive at that point, just without an additional few hours’ traffic. Sorry, not convinced they are behaving badly.

          • Always a NYer

            Coming the weekend before or after is what is easier for them, not thinking about how it will make us feel. Some people may not think it important to spend the actual day of the holiday together but we do. It’s the equivalent of telling us that we are not important enough to make the extra effort/hours of traffic to spend time with. You may not understand but in my book it’s bad behavior.

          • Brant

            I think this is such a “know your family” type of thing. My grandmother would DIE if we suggested spending MLK weekend instead of Christmas with her. We would literally never hear the end of it (no, for that matter, would my mom, aunt, or sister). Grandma is 87 and loves her some Traditions.

            DH’s family, on the other hand, will take us whenever they can get us. They are a long flight away and it’s often difficult to get down to see them. This year we’re visiting for 4 days ending on New Years, so we’ll at least get that with them. They are very happy just to see us at all.

        • Hel-lo

          For what it’s worth, I flew from the west coast to visit my east coast family the first and second week in December last year. We considered it Christmas.

          It was really nice. The airports were empty. We got all our Christmas shopping done way ahead of time, and gave the gifts to each other in person. And then I could work the holiday shifts when my co-workers were all taking off.

          Highly recommend.

        • Quasi Minimalist

          I am sorry you are upset. I am a quasi-minimalist and the over-indulgence that often occurs during holidays is very over whelming to me. I end up being uncomfortable and leaving stressed and unhappy. I am certainly not commenting to beat you up, I just wanted to offer a different perspective :)

      • This time just C

        Last year, two days after what I thought had been a very nice Thanksgiving dinner, my sibling sent an email to the rest of the family stating sibling, spouse, and their young children would be too busy to spend Christmas with everyone else. No explanations given about why, for the first time since we were born, sibling would not be with us. We all live in the same city, no more than 5 miles away from one another so distance and travel is not the reason.

        After crying over the breakup of my family and getting over the hurt, I resolved it would never happen again. This year, I’m leaving town for Christmas and the other rejected members of my family are joining me.

        • nona

          Well, have you asked Sibling what’s up? How old are the kids – are they young enough that it’s just easier on everyone if Sib and Family stay home and chill? Maybe they are trying to start their own Christmas traditions? Maybe something happened last year that didn’t affect your enjoyment, but had a bigger effect on Sib’s family? Or, your family got Thanksgiving, so Sib’s Spouse’s family was going to get Christmas and it was going to be too much to juggle your family and Spouse’s family on Christmas.

          Growing up, we sometimes spent Christmas day at home, just my parents and siblings. Sometimes we’d visit Gma/pa (when we lived close by), or someone will organize dinner stuff for relatives to come over later in the day, but often times the larger family get togethers will wait until a day or two after Christmas.

        • kiley

          wow. I just dont think decling a holiday is rejecting the whole family. I would be hurt by that email to, but I wouldnt take it as “the break up of the family” there a million reasons they might want to do christmas themselves.

        • Silvercurls

          Seconding Kiley’s “million reasons they might want to do christmas themselves.” Maybe your sibling & spouse are having troubles they don’t want to share but can’t manage to conceal enough to prevent questions from well-intentioned caring people? Maybe one of their young children is having some sort of developmental or sensory processing difficulty (e.g., autism, severe food allergies, inability to remain calm among a large group of happy, noisy relatives) and either they don’t have a diagnosis or they do have a diagnosis but haven’t yet figured out how to live with the condition and what/with whom/how much to share… Or one of the adults is dealing with something personal and private? People vary widely in how they react to challenges. It might be best to let them know you’ll miss them (without making them feel guilty for not being with the entire family as usual), wish them a happy holiday, and just stay in touch in a low-key way? Okay, too long again; time to get off the soapbox. Their reluctance to gather with others may have everything to do with them and not much to do with anyone else.

      • TBK

        Umm, I was thinking funny horror stories (like the dog stealing the turkey and getting its head stuck in it and needing a family trip to the emergency vet to pry off the turkey kind of horror).

        • Mpls

          Or how the attempts to deep fry the turkey turned out? I agree – those would be much more entertaining.

        • Sydney Bristow

          I caught my apple pie on fire one year. Full on flames coming from it. I forgot to switch the gas oven setting from broil to bake and the whole thing went up. My dad ended up trying to eat it and tell me it was good. I had one bite and let me tell you, smoked apple pie is just not good. But I love him for trying to make me feel better about it and to this day he refuses to admit that he was lying about it.

          • Mpls

            One year my dad grew those decorative gourds, and had more than he knew what to do with. So he tried cooking some, like you do with squash…it’s the only time we’ve ever seen my dad spit out food. So then, of course, my brothers all wanted to try some.

        • TO Lawyer

          Haha this reminds me of the Friends episode where Joey puts the turkey on his head to scare Chandler and then can’t get it off… and complains about how it smells.

          • Lalo

            Totally non related to Thanksgiving. But…the first year I ever went to Bay to Breakers they had people with chicken hats that looked just like that from some local farm advertising their product. They weren’t running/participating, but I was so amused and wanted to go next year as a whole bunch of Joey’s (Joey with the turkey on his head, Joey wearing Phoebe’s maternity pants at Thanksgiving to eat the entire turkey, etc.).

            I think I watch too much Friends.

        • KC

          The builder of my parent’s house was sort of a shady fellow and one year, as my mom was pulling the turkey out, the oven literally came unbolted and fell forward, out of the wall.

          Fortunately, she was unharmed (and the turkey was fine).

        • Hel-lo

          1. One year, we left the turkey carcass (turkey, with all the meat carved off) on the counter in the roasting pan after dinner while we went into the living room to chill on the couch. We heard a terrible crash. Turns out my brother’s dog smelled it, put his paws on the counter, and pulled the roasting pan to the floor, with the turkey in it. Bones and grease everywhere. And we were all too drunk to really do much.

          2. In law school, we had a Thanksgiving dinner in my dorm/grad student housing. I was assigned the mashed potatoes. I was running late and didn’t have an electric beater. I also didn’t realize you had to boil the potatoes first, or for how long. I held up the entire dinner because I was upstairs in my kitchen trying to whisk some hard potatoes into smooth, fluffy mashed potatoes. It did not work.

          • Brant

            Good god, that is giving me flashbacks to when my dog ate TWO CHICKEN CARCASSES over night (he got into the trash). They were completely consumed by the morning. He was fine, but the gas that dog generated for the next 2 days was UNREAL.

        • Jordan

          My dad used to saute the innards of the turkey and serve them up special to the cat. That was all he ever had to do with cooking too.

  11. Getting married

    Question about getting married –

    My fiance and I are interested in talking with a lawyer before our wedding. We both own homes, and have retirement accounts. We want some kind of financial checklist where we want to add each other on to things like insurance policies.

    Should we meet with an estate planning lawyer, or a family lawyer? Is there some area of law that’s like, “Pre-nuptual advice”? We’re not planning a pre-nuptual agreement, but just need a consult, I guess.

    We also are very perplexed about how to do our finances. We each have our own checking and savings accounts, at different banks, and a joint account for bills. But who pays them and who reconciles them and manages them? I think we know what we want to do idealogically, but not mechanically.

    Any advice/suggestions?

    • LeChouette

      Some of the things you mention could be taken care of by talking to a financial adviser instead of a lawyer (though granted not wills, if you want a joint will you would need a lawyer). Financial adviser would likely be substantially cheaper.

      As to your final paragraph, I think that’s a personal question that no one can really give you the right answer to — you could have one person be in charge of all bills, split the bills, have one person do bills the other do investing? My husband and I have the same set up you describe and haven’t really changed it, though once my savings gets up to a certain level he will probably invest it for us jointly as he is more of a finance-minded person than I am.

    • marise

      My husband and I have always kept our separate checking accounts and we have an agreement re: who will pay what bills (he pays mortgage, utilities, insurance, and I pay food and all child related expenses). We both contribute to a joint account. This has allowed us to keep our sanity and indpendence.

    • BK

      Definitely talk to a family lawyer. He/she will be able to tell you all about your state’s treatment of finances, property, and debt, which will ultimately help you decide what to do.

    • Brant

      I’d suggest a financial advisor. In terms of the latter part of our question, DH and I each contribute to a set amount of our paycheck to a joint checking account, a set amount to our two individual “fun” accounts, and the rest goes into joint savings account. “Fun” money is money we can each spend without having to dicuss it with the other. Examples include anything from “I saw these shoes and JUST HAD TO HAVE THEM even though this is my fourth pair of purple alligator heels” to spur-of-the-moment vacations, boats, etc.

      Joint savings account gets divvied up into retirement contributions, long term investments, short term investments/savings/rainy day fund.

      I pay bills out of the checking, and a combination of DH and a financial planner manage our portfolio. DH used to do it himself but no longer feels he has the time to dedicate to it.

  12. uterine ablation experience ?

    Anyone out there have experience with this, specifically the Nova Sure procedure ? I am a regular reader, but anon for this.

    I am a early 40’s woman with 2 kids. Hubby has had a snippy snippy, so no more kidlets for me. Over the past several years, my lovely monthly visitor has gotten to be incredibly heavy, and stays for increasingly longer periods (no pun intended) of time. My pap smears are good, and I just had a transvaginal unltrasound to rule out fibriods. I also had a uterine biopsy (so much fun) to rule out cancer. The only thing they can find is that I have an abnormaly thick uterine lining, which is what makes my monthly visitor so heavy. (Trying to avoid moderation here.)

    Long story short, I could have a hysterectomy just where the uterus is removed, but insurance will not pay. I am reluctant to do hormonal remedies, as I have lost 120 pounds in the last 2 years, and don’t want to gain weight. Further, I don’t need birth control, so I don’t see any point in putting hormones in my body.

    Doc and I are discussing ablation on Monday, which insurance will pay for. Basically, you are put under for outpatient surgery, and the doc inserts a wand in your uterus. This mesh comes out from the wand (like opening an umbrella). The doc then sends an electrical current through the mesh, essentially cauterizing all those blood vessels. Basically, they electrocute your uterus !

    About 60 % of the women never have a visitor again, and about 30% have much less heavy or frequent visitors. For about 5% of the women, it doesn’t work at all. Out of work for maybe 2 days, worst case scenario. Recommended not to get pregnant again, but that’s not something I am planning anyway. If it’s not effective., my insurance will pay for a hysterectomy.

    Anyone out there know anything about this ? I have done some limited online research, but would love to hear personal stories.

    • Research, Not Law

      I don’t have experience with the procedure. I’ve never heard of it, actually. My mother went through your same situation, though, and the experience was not pleasant. My sympathies. She ended up getting a hysterectomy out of desperation. She has never been happy with that decision, but didn’t know what else to do. Sounds like a good thing to try to me. In fact, I’ll be remembering it in case my turn comes up soon.

      I have had more external lady parts cauterized due to a different issue and will say that it wasn’t nearly as bad as it sounds.

    • anon

      I’d be interested in hearing about this as well. Like you, I’m in my early 40’s with 2 kids and husband has had the snippity snip, and I’ve also been having insanely heavy periods. My doctor is also suggesting uterine ablation if things don’t improve. I wonder if we have the same doctor – are you in the DC area? I have a couple tiny fibroids (not thought to be responsible for the issues) and also found out that I had a uterine polyp (which may or may not be a contributing factor). I had a procedure done a few months ago to to remove the polyp (hysteroscopy) and also a d&c to scrape out my uterine lining in case there was anything else going on (and rule out cancer). This has resulted in *slightly* lighter monthly visitors, but not dramatically so. Right now we’re just watching to see if things will settle down, and if not my doctor highly recommends uterine ablation over hysterectomy.

    • ablation anon

      Your story sounds remarkably like mine. (Early 40’s, 2 kids, hubby got snipped.) I had the Nova Sure procedure done 2 years ago and it was one of the best things I’ve ever done. The procedure was done in my doctor’s office and only took about about an hour. The actual ablation was only about 3 minutes long. A very painful 3 minutes but very very worth it. Slight cramping for a day or so after.

      My visitor is completely gone. After 30 years of horrific, painful, heavy, debilitating visitors. It’s hard to describe how much it has improved my life. Previously I was spending 25% of my time in pain. Keep in mind that you will still have monthly hormonal fluctuations so it won’t help with PMS or other hormonal problems. My friend had it done also and her visitors are lighter and less painful but still arriving each month but she still feels like the procedure was worthwhile.

    • well...

      What about a Mirena?

      Kat just had a thread about it and it reduced my periods to nothing, which is the story I’ve heard from everyone I know who has had a Mirena. Maybe worth a try before surgery?

      • cbackson

        Mirena is hormonal, so if the OP wants to avoid hormones, Mirena isn’t a good choice.

        (Also, you’ll note in that thread that a decent number of people – like me – get endless spotting on Mirena.)

    • Elle

      Can you just say “period”? I get that the word s e x would get filtered out and so lady garden etc has developed but there is something a bit pathetic about a bunch of grown women dancing around a biological process. It’s not icky, it’s not weird, it’s a period. Period period period. Menstruation. Menstruation. Period. See, they are just words and they can’t hurt you.

      /steps off soapbox

      • Ablation OP

        I just did not know if there was some moderation issue. . . much like we say “lady garden parties” for the S___ E____X word.

      • karenpadi

        Who cares what we call Auntie Flo? Someone is asking for help and it does no good to criticize their word choice when their intent was clear.

        Not everyone has the same comfort level with talking about menstruation with others. Not long ago, women wouldn’t have shared these details with anyone outside of their doctor. It’s a sign of progress that women feel comfortable talking about menstruation with other women. If euphemisms make that conversation easier, well, at least the conversation is happening.

        Feminism* is all about choices–one of those choices is whether we call our periods “periods” or “monthly visitors” or “placebo week” (my favorite) or “Shark Week” (I could see how this one is offensive).

        *women=men

        • Elle

          It’s nothing to do with feminism. It’s just incredibly irritating. OP uses words like uterine biopsy, transvaginal ultrasound, fibroids, uterine lining, hysterectomy and ablation.

          What is added by calling it a “snippy snip” and “monthly visitor”? *bangs head against keyboard* Why do women continuously feel the need to play dumb (twee, childish)? And women can’t start getting annoyed about stuff like”shark week” if they’ve taken the word period off the table!

      • ablation anon

        I’m fine with the words “period” and “menstruation.” I don’t think they’re icky. I was just using the euphemism that the OP chose because I liked it and I wanted my response to mirror her question.

        • Original op

          Sorry if I annoyed with my euphemisms. Poor attempt at lightening up the subject matter.

  13. Sigh

    Does anyone have experience with bariatric surgery? I know this may not be the best forum for this, but I imagine there have to be some overachieving overweight women out there besides me, right? I have been debating the surgery for a while now and my doctor recently recommended it to me because my weight is starting to cause me some health problems. I have a lot of shame surrounding this issue, which is probably my main hesitation in really pushing for the surgery. Any thoughts?

    • Been there

      I don’t have experience with surgery, but I do have experience with weight and body issues. Doing the surgery is a really big decision, and it would probably be better to deal with your shame before you make the decision. I highly recommend the book Lessons from the Fat-o-Sphere by Kate Harding as a place to start thinking about these issues and questioning some of your/society’s assumptions. Counseling might be a good idea too, at least for a little while. I’m not saying surgery is or isn’t a good idea, but you will probably be happier with whatever decision you make if you make it with a clear head.

      • Ella

        yes, I second Lessons from the Fat-o-Sphere. (also I’m glad to know that there are others in this community that know about people like Kate Harding – sometimes I get really overwhelmed by all of the weight/diet talk here)

    • sweetknee

      I have had the Lap Band procedure, and lost 120 pounds in about 2 years. I would be happy to discuss my experiences. If you will reply with an e mail address, we can talk. I did lots of research up front, so might be able to give you some perspective.

      • Sigh

        Thanks sweetknee. I would really appreciate having someone to talk to about it. My email is mrsmemesq@gmail.com.

        As far as the shame issues, it’s mostly a matter of being angry with myself because I just.can’t.lose.the.weight. I want to be able to do it on my own, but I obviously haven’t been able to thus far and now it’s impacting my health.

        I have an informational meeting coming up at a bariatric center, so I’m sure that will answer a lot of questions for me as well. Also, they usually require therapy as part of their program, so I’m sure that would be helpful.

        • Sydney Bristow

          I know you didn’t ask about this, but have you tried seeing a doctor/nutritionist and being prescribed any weight loss medication? Particularly a situation with regular follow-up visits to track your progress and be medically supervised on a reduced calorie diet. It may be something in between doing it on your own and getting surgery.

          • Sydney Bristow

            I’ve been seeing a doctor and a nutritionist once a month since last thanksgiving and am on a reduced calorie diet. I’m supposed to try and get a certain amount of protein, carbs, and fat each day. It’s all laid out for me. I think they have other patients who purchase food from them, but I chose not to do that because I wanted to learn how to do it correctly on my own and in a way that I can maintain my weight loss after I stop seeing them when I reach my goal. I’ve lost 50 pounds since last thanksgiving through this. It’s been very consistent and about a pound a week for me after a big loss in the first month due to water weight.

            I’d talk to your regular doctor about it. She may do it herself or could give you a referral to someone.

            My email is sydneybristow e t t e at gmail if you want to chat about it.

        • GlassSpider

          This may differ by location and who’s paying, but FWIW, my experience in working with bariatric patients/teams is that there are typically a number of steps to take before the decision is made to move forward with bariatric surgery.

          If you’re going in for a consult, Sigh, you should be getting more information about what factors make you a good candidate for surgery (likely to benefit without red flags for complications). A good bariatric program will offer plenty of information, often including in-person or web-based meetings with post-bariatric patients, as well as support or at least referrals for the initial behavioral steps (tracking food intake, exercising, etc.) and any therapy.

          I’m not suggesting or endorsing going ahead with bariatric surgery, because only you and your doctors can decide if it’s right for you (it isn’t for everyone), but please, don’t let shame get in your way of getting information and taking an active role in your health.

    • Anon for this

      I had a vertical sleeve gastrectomy (VSG) two and a half years ago and it was the best thing I ever did. Basically, they removed most of my stomach while leaving my intestines untouched. I can’t eat nearly as much as I did before, and because they removed the gland that produces ghrelin, the “hunger hormone,” I am not nearly as hungry as I was before.

      I struggled with my weight since the age of 9, and this surgery helped me lose all my excess weight. It’s been like a miracle. I would do it again in a red-hot second and in fact I would do it every year if I had to.

      They have wonderful forums over at http://www.obesityhealth.com and I urge you to go over there with your questions. Good luck!

    • SoCalAtty

      I had a cousin rush into the lap band procedure, and go ahead and do it despite a cardiologist’s warning not to – there were complications and she ended up dying. I’ll follow up with the link in case it gets moderated.

      On the other side, my assistant had it at some point and she is now in her 60s and looks great. I think if your team of doctors think it is the right choice for you, then there should be no shame in it.

    • Pest

      My stepfather had it done. He really did not need it. He was overwiehgt, maybe even obsese, but not morbidly obese. He is in his sixties and had never done or even attempted a serious weight loss program. He and my Mom saw this as a quick fix. I don’t have a particularly close relationship with him, so I have not discussed it with him really. I can see that he has lost weight, but he can’t eat full meals. For a long time all he was consuming was Muscle Milk and goop like that. It makes me sad that he and my Mom can’t have a normal meal together any more, and they never will again, because this is permanent.

      I’m no expert, but because of the risks involved and how there is no going back after surgery, I think you should try to exhaust all your other options.

  14. LF

    I got moderated because I used the C* word.

    Just curious, is anyone else reading this site from Northern New England? I feel like my boss should be an ultra-c*rette due to her impeccable fashion sense. But I wouldn’t want her to know I spend so much time reading this site.

  15. Bluejay

    DC Meetup Save the Date

    Sadly there was no date when every single person who responded was free, but the most popular date was Monday, December 10. Save the date! Details to follow.

    Per eek’s excellent suggestion (sorry to pick a day when you can’t come, eek!), instead of a gift exchange, would you be interested in a totally optional donation collection? Bread for the City solicits donations of grocery store and drugstore gift cards, and I’d be happy to collect them and convey them to BftC.

    • eek

      Aww – just seeing this now (I did see the e-mail last night). I’m bummed I can’t attend, but I have a work function that night that I feel would be bad for me if I didn’t attend. Your charity sounds like just the thing – I didn’t know of anything specific.

  16. stranded

    So, WWYD. I am out of town on business. I had a flight back home to the east coast, which was scheduled to leave at 6pm tonight, connecting in Chicago at ~945pm (last flight of the night). There is a giant storm heading to the east coast.

    I called the airline and they told me “things look really bad” but no cancellations yet. So they found a flight for me tomorrow morning, and I checked myself back into my hotel. My trip home will take all day tomorrow, and I won’t get back until 5pm.

    There are 3 more flights that can get to Chicago in time to make my connection. I have a really bad feeling that, despite what the website says, my flight from Chicago will be cancelled.

    WWYD? Stay overnight and head out tomorrow, losing an entire day? Head to the airport, get to Chicago and last-minute check into a hotel if the flight doesn’t leave until 4am?

    Our company travel policy will allow me to do whatever (“within reason,” which both my options are). I am sitting back in my hotel room feeling like an @ss because i have so much stuff on my plate at work tomorrow that will have to get bumped because i’m on airplanes–and I’d much much rather get home tonight– but i’ve seen this movie before, and I know I will be in O’Hare grinding my teeth as my flight is delayed again…and again…and again and eventually cancelled.

    • Bluejay

      Where would you rather spend an extra day – where you currently are, or in Chicago? I’d make my decision based on that.

      • stranded

        i’d rather spend an extra day here (my company has an office here), but I do’n’t get an “extra day” either way– I spend the night here (St. Louis, but no Ellen sightings!) and spend all day tomorrow flying, or I spent the night in O’hare waiting for my flight to take off, then spend the AM flying back east.

        Blah.

        • Bluejay

          Stay put. It’s a big assumption that flights will be back to normal in the morning, anyway.

        • anon

          order room service and watch bad tv in bed. i love doing that on business trips!

    • TBK

      If it were me, I’d stay put, see what work I might be able to get done tonight, then maybe hit the hotel gym, go get a nice dinner (with a glass of wine and a book/magazine) then toasty pj’s and a movie in my room.

    • Anonymous

      ORD has always been my least favorite airport–possibly because it’s my primary airport. :) Any chance you could catch a flight to somewhere south of the storm and take the train up? I’m not sure how available Amtrak is right now, but I’ve done that a couple of times.

    • stranded

      Not that y’all have been on the edge of your seat or anything, but I bit the bullet and went to the airport. The Work Gods were looking down upon me, because as my reward for giving up a relaxing night in the hotel , I got home on time (a little early!), without incident, got an exit row on the shuttle and upgraded to first on the second leg.

      This is, however, the last time I play Good Corporate Citizen and book the flight with a stop because it was almost $400 cheaper. Next time I’m going direct or attending remotely.

  17. Anonymous

    Does anyone know what Lands End is doing with their jeans? Their Fit 1, size 6 straight leg are exactly my size. I went to order a couple pairs today but they don’t have them on their website. In fact, there are only 4 women’s jeans on the site but 18 mens; of the womens 2 pairs are plus size only and the others are skinny jeans and baggy jeans. I really hope this is temporary but I really, really need some jeans soon and don’t want to spend the weekend at the mall trying on every pair.

  18. SoCalAtty

    This suit is really pretty – and it’s in my size! I’ve never purchased a Reiss suit, but I have one that is in a similar color to this from BR. Should I do it anyway? Do I really need another suit? It is very pretty but I’d like to hear some other ‘rettes weigh in on Reiss…

  19. SoCalAtty

    Not sure why I’m in moderation, but here goes again:

    This suit is really pretty – and it’s in my size! I’ve never purchased this brand of suit, but I have one that is in a similar color to this from BR. Should I do it anyway? Do I really need another suit? It is very pretty but I’d like to hear a little more about experiences with this brand…

    • O.

      I have a dress from Reiss. I love it and think it is well made. Pay careful attention to sizing though as it runs very small. I wear a 0 in Theory and fit into a US 4 in Reiss.

      • O.

        I hit post too soon. Based on the measurements on the website, I ordered a US 2 as that was the size that corresponded with my measurements. I guess it technically fit, but I could barely breath. You may want to play it safe and order two sizes as Reiss offers free shipping and returns on orders over $300 (or did when I ordered a couple of weeks ago).

  20. Responding to Constructive Criticism

    A junior partner stopped by my office today and gave me a constructive, very nice, but pointed speech on being more responsive to senior people in the office. It was not fun to hear (are those things ever fun to hear?) but he was entirely right. I said, “Thank you,” and “The point is well taken,” and “I understand.” But that’s about it. I’m tempted to send him an email saying, “Thank you for the constructive comments. I always appreciate feedback, whether positive or negative, and I understand your point entirely. I’ll do better.” But is that overkill? Or just pointless? I don’t want to harp on it, but I do feel like I need to demonstrate that I understand. (I’d also like to demonstrate that I have been working my butt off and that this was an anomaly, but I know that trying to explain myself in this situation is a fool’s game.) Any suggestions? FWIW, I like this guy, but we haven’t worked together very long.

    • Anon-Y

      I think that response is fine and shows that you’re reflecting on the feedback given. Not overdone at all.

    • TBK

      If you can create a list of concrete steps you can take to implement his comments, I’d do that. Otherwise, leave it be.

    • Jordan

      I think it sounds like you already handled the situation perfectly. Especially because he is not your boss, I wouldn’t take the time to do it. Unless you feel like there is some shady reason it needs to be documented. Sounds like he has your back to me and now you need to focus on fixing it.

  21. Michelle

    Hello, longtime reader, infrequent commenter with a job-interview-process question, about getting out of further interviews for a job you know you don’t want.

    So let me just say, I am grateful to be in the position I am in as many people are looking for work right now with no luck. I fully appreciate that I am lucky that this is my situation.

    I have done a couple of rounds of interviews for a job I applied to on kind of a whim, without really thinking I would get called to interview. I was more interested in the company, than the advertised job, when I applied, and also didn’t think my resume really reflected what the job description called for, which is why I didn’t think I would get called. The company is great. The people are very nice and it seems like a good place to work. However, over the course of two interviews I have come to believe that the job I am interviewing for is not a good match for my skill set, and would require me to do things I am not really that good at, and I would not be successful or happy in the job. However, the company does have other (currently filled) positions in another area that would be a good match for my skills, and what I want to do in my career, and I would like to keep the door open to work for the company in that capacity in the future, even though they don’t have any openings in that area right now.

    I feel like, since I would not take the job if it were offered to me, I should bow out of the selection process now. My husband thinks I should keep going through the process until the end, because there’s no guarantee I’ll get an offer, and if I do get an offer, I can always decline it. This seems dishonest to me. I have a perfectly fine job I am mostly happy with, although it’s not in the field where I want to be working and it pays less than I think I should be getting (although I think most people feel that way). I don’t NEED this new job and maybe one of the other candidates does. I also feel like it would be bad to fake interest all the way through to the end and then come up with some lame excuse why I am not taking the job, and would probably make me look bad to the company managers.

    My husband also thinks, if I got my foot in the door in this job, the company would more likely to promote or transfer me into my preferred area later. But then I would be stuck doing the job I don’t want until a job opens up in the other area, which might be never.

    Here’s the rub. The job I am interviewing for pays way more than my current job, like almost 50% more. We are “comfortable” but I think my husband is hung up on the money angle, which I totally understand. But I am at a point where I want to be happy with what I do, and not just do something because it pays well. Another monkey wrench in the works: I told one of my friends, who knows some people at the company, that I was interviewing there, and she (unbeknownst to me, and also unsolicited) emailed one of her contacts a glowing recommendation for me, that the interviewers brought up in my second interview. So that also might make things a little awkward.

    I would love to hear some advice and some stories. Have you ever bowed out of an interview process midway through? If so, why – and HOW, I am especially interested in the how – did you do it?

    • K...in transition

      What if you sent an email to the HR person/your interviewer, etc. and said something like. “I wanted to take a moment to let you know how interested I am in working for x company. I really appreciate -a couple of company fact/moral/goals/etc-. Although I know I would make a great employee and do someday hope to become such, the position for which I’ve been interviewing doesn’t seem to be the right fit for my abilities.

      I truly do hope you will consider me for a position more closely related to my current position of x.

      Thank you so much, I look forward to meeting with you regarding a position that is a better fit for me in the near future,

      Michelle”

    • Divaliscious11

      IMO, if you want to have a chance at another job there, take yourself out of the running before they decide you don’t fit. Also, you may find it tougher to get a look, if you get all the way to offer and decline….

      • Michelle

        So it seems like the consensus is to get out sooner rather than later, thanks. What should I do if my recommending friend wants to know what happens, or gets upset?

        • GlassSpider

          I have a colleague now who was in your position last year. He was interviewing for a position that was honestly not the best fit for him, and he wouldn’t have been the top candidate. He decided to take himself out of the running, and was open and enthusiastic about how much he would love to work with us, naming a couple of other positions that he was interested in (one of which was expected to be opening up in the near future). His handling was really classy, and he was invited to interview (and was hired quickly) in one of his desired areas as soon as the position opened.

          Let your friend know how much you appreciate her recommendation, how excited you would be to work there, and be honest if politic about the fit issues with the job (not only for your satisfaction, but also, it’s an issue for the organization). Oh, and it doesn’t hurt to ask her to let you know if anything opens up in one of the areas that would be a better fit for you — it helps communicate that your interest in the organization is sincere.

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