Suit of the Week: Sézane

110 Comments

1. So this is a legal question but I am looking for a general answer. If my employer makes me keep a time sheet at a salaried job where I pretty much always go over the standard 40 (like 50-60 generally), even if some of the time is outside of the “office hours” (and my billable hours are over the requirement, too, not that it’s relevant), can they still deduct time out of the office during “office hours”? They started making me keep a timesheet when I switched to part time for medical reasons but continued to require it after I became full time again.

   1. No idea about the legality of this but your employer sounds awful. I’d definitely look for a new job if you aren’t already. Sorry you’re in this situation.

      1. It is, this isn’t even that bad compared to much of what they do. People have mentioned employee handbooks – we don’t have any of that, and they just change rules (even the sparse bits in our offer letters) at their whim and based on how they feel about the person that day.

         I’m absolutely job hunting, don’t worry!

   2. No, they can’t. That’s basically the definition of an “exempt” employee – you don’t earn overtime, so you can’t be docked for an hour here and there either, though I think they can make you take 1/2 days if you’re out for more than four hours of a normal workday. I’d definitely push back hard on this.

      1. Are you exempt or non-exempt? Contracts / employment agreements for salaried exempt workers usually explicitly state that you are expected to fulfill the duties of your job “without regard for hours worked”. I’m guessing that you are exempt since you say you are routinely working 50-60 hours and not making mention of overtime pay, but that would be a crucial differentiation.

         Is there anything in your employee handbook about “standard working hours” and what sort of absence requires use of PTO? Even for salaried employees, there are often guidelines about being in the office or working remotely during standard working hours. If you have non-standard working hours, you may want to get something in writing to make sure that’s not in violation of company policy.

         1. I don’t understand the distinction enough, to be honest. Nobody at work gets overtime, and they say it is salaried but then dock time. We’re professionals and make over the amount they say, but I don’t really know what that means.
            We don’t have any handbook or anything like that. It’s mostly just done however they feel like that day.
            I’m at the point where I’ll hopefully be gone soon but need to deal with this in the meantime.

   3. If you’re FLSA exempt (which is usually what people mean by “salaried”), they can’t dock your pay for working fewer than 40h, but they can require you to draw down your PTO/vacation time/leave/whatever. If you’re non-exempt, they should be paying you time and a half for anything over 40h/wk (or 8h/day in CA).

   4. You need to talk to an attorney to get an accurate answer. First, realize that even if you’re salaried, you could be exempt or you could be non-exempt. If you’re exempt, you usually (but not always) need to be paid on a salaried basis, which means that you don’t get paid extra if you work over 40 and they can’t deduct time when you’re out (except in certain situations). If you’re non-exempt, then they should be paying you either for each hour worked (in which case yes, you can be docked for hours missed during the workday) or paying you a salary with no deductions for hours missed in most situations, plus half-time for hours worked over 40. But often people say they have a salary because that’s how the amount of pay is presented to them, but they are actually paid hourly. Also, note that you can be required to track hours for non-pay purposes, even if you’re exempt.

      1. Thank you! I am going to try to find an employment law attorney, but I was hoping to get an idea first.

   5. They can deduct PTO but not pay if you are exempt.

      1. You need to get all of this in writing from your manageing partner. That is what my dad did when he negotiated my work arrangement. The manageing partner gave me unlimited sick days and as many personal days as I could justify, as long as I meet the minimimum billeables for each month. Last year, when I onley had 600 hours a month, it was easy, but now that he has raised my minimum, I find that I have to make up time on the weekends if I decide to take any days off or are sick. Fortunateley, I am still young enough to be healthy (37 now — ugh), but when I move to the west side, I may need more time for commuting cross town as well as downtown. FOOEY! I was very tired yesterday after giving blood on Monday morning, so I stayed on LI until last night. I did have my MacBook air, so I was able to do work, tho dad’s wifi connection did NOT work so all I could do was bill. He said he will change to FIOS or do something with his cabel company. FOOEY on his cabel company b/c I could NOT see all of the HIVE’s p’osts.

      2. This is 100% correct. OP are they actually deducting from your pay, or from a PTO/Vacation bank?

2. Building on the Roth IRA discussion from earlier, why do you have a Roth IRA? I am in NYC with a high income with no kids, so presumably at the highest tax rate I will ever have in my life. Is there any reason to do a back door Roth?

   A wealth advisor had suggested doing it for tax diversification on my portfolio, but I’m not really sure how to think about this. I am very much a numbers person, so I would like to build a model to see what kind of assumptions (growth of portfolio, changes to tax rates) are needed to make it comparable to my pre-tax IRA. I don’t really know much about Roth IRAs, as I’ve always assumed it doesn’t make sense if you’re currently at a high tax rate. Is there something I’m missing?

   Also, what portion of your retirement portfolio is pre-tax versus post-tax?

   1. There is no tax on the growth of your Roth IRA. So you don’t tax any of the money you take out because you already paid tax when it went in.

      So, you put in $1000 after-tax dollars. You paid $250 in tax. It grows to $10000. You pay no tax on the $9000 when you take it out. Total tax $250.

      For traditional you put in $1000 pre-tax dollars, so you have $250 of tax savings. It grows to $10,0000. You pay tax on the all of the money you pull out ($2500). So you save $250 upfront, but pay $2500 down the road.

      Numbers are obviously illustrative, and it’s possible I got an assumption wrong in there (going off memory here), so someone jump in if I’ve missed something.

   2. Given that you said you have a high income in NYC, I assume that you can’t deduct the contribution to your traditional IRA. Since you get no tax benefit from contributing to the traditional IRA, it makes sense to do a backdoor IRA so that you get the tax benefits involved with a Roth. Basically, some benefits are better than none.

      If you are asking why use a backdoor instead of the 401k, I assume that most people who do a backdoor have maxed out their 401k contribution. I think there is some chance my taxes will be higher when I retire (since at some point the USA can’t live off debt anymore, but, who knows, the politicians don’t act like that is true), but also choose to use a backdoor Roth IRA since I max my 401k.

      1. Some 401ks also offer a Roth (after tax) option within the 401k. Or at least my current one does – it hasn’t been an option in others, so it probably depends on how the company set up the plan.

   3. The two main factors are age and income. The longer there is for it to grow, the more benefit you’ll get from it. It’s important to note that when you take out from it, you don’t pay tax on any (including growth).
      As someone else mentioned, if you don’t get any benefit from a traditional, it may be better to do a backdoor Roth.
      I max my roth 401k and ira, because I’m younger and, though I’m in a somewhat high backet, I anticipate moving into higher brackets going forward. As I get older and move into higher tax brackets, I’ll switch to traditional and backdoor roth.

   4. Another benefit of a Roth IRA is that it doesn’t have required minimum distributions the way 401ks and traditional IRAs do, so it becomes an estate/inheritance-planning tool.

3. Reposting from this morning . . .

   Ugh. We have a Penn State type situation (predatory adult starts a program that gets him access to young children with no meaningful second adult present). The arrest has happened, charges are being filed, and the police investigation is on-going.

   I am burning mad. I feel like we (collectively) learned nothing from Penn State / USA gymnastics / etc. My church is very 2-deep grownup for anything with children and the scout group my DH works with is 4-deep on trips (so 2 grownups can leave to evacuate an injured kid and 2 adults are still present).

   I’ve read Protecting the Gift. I have a legal background. Is there some easily-accessible set of best practices that is some sort of standard (this is for a school district that should have done better)? B/c it has become apparent that they have some toothless policies, do no diligence, and have become the sort of place that is perfect for a predator.

   1. Replied on the other thread too, but reposting here to make sure you see it: search “Sexual Abuse Safe-Child Standards in Massachusetts” for one set of guidelines.

      1. And there’s a roundup of other resources here: https://www.tolerance.org/magazine/policy-checkup-addressing-and-preventing-sexual-assault-in-schools

         1. Thank you!

   2. Run for school board.

      1. Like

   3. We are involved with a Catholic school and if you want to so much as have lunch with your child (or grandchild) you are required to take a course and read an article every month to keep current. Look up VIRTUS – not sure if they have secular versions but it’s really iron clad IMO.

      1. Just a caution that nothing is “iron-clad” and sometimes really strict rules get ignored because they are unworkable.

         My daughter is no longer in scouting (for other reasons) but I cannot tell you how many parties/events that we had that just coincidentally involved only the girls in the troop but were expressly “not Girl Scout-sponsored or affiliated” because we could not comply with the requirement that we have four adults for an event involving six girls.

         Which is not to discourage the OP from looking at their rules and proposing better ones, just a caution that nothing is a substitute for talking to your kids and a warning about rules that are so strict everyone rolls their eyes and ignores them.

         1. I agree. While it is best practice to never have anyone alone with children, in reality that is not always possible. If a child needs to use the restroom at recess, for example, it would be unreasonable to expect two teaches to accompany that child while still leaving sufficient staff outside to watch the rest of the children.

            1. My all-time favorite was a rule that prevented a (gay, male, married) priest (what can I say – I am an Episcopalian) from giving my teen-daughter a 15 minute ride if the two of them were alone.

            2. I hear you. BUT I think it is right not to normalize alone-ness with adults who aren’t your parents. The antennae should come up. WHY am I alone with this person? How can I stay safe?

4. Help me plan an Alaska trip for H and I in July. We like to hike and kayak.

   1. I love Alaska! If you like kayaking you can’t miss Seward and Kenai Fjords Natl Park. You can kayak right up to glaciers. It’s not cheap but it’s awesome. There is good hiking in that area too (Exit Glcier). Other highlights for us were Katmai NP (brown bears) and Denali (lots of wildlife including bears) but we didn’t do any hiking in either of those parks. I think there are hikes you can do in Denali though.

   2. Where are you going? I live in Juneau and can provide Southeast recommendations.

      1. How do you cope with the lack of shopping options in Juneau. Fred Meyers only gets you so far. Do you order on line or just not care about clothes since it’s not really a showy kind of place.

   3. How long are you going for? For less than two weeks, I would personally stick to one area (Southeast / Kenai Peninsula / Denali & Surrounds) and explore there so you don’t spend a lot of your days traveling.

      I would also second Seward and Kenai Fjords. I did a day paddle ($400, 10 years ago) that involved a wildlife tour as we drove out plus a few hours paddle in the Fjords. If you’re so inclined, renting kayaks in Seward and paddling out to Caine’s Head (~3-4 miles along the shore) is also great. From there, hike up to old army base ruins.

      Homer is also wonderful for kayaking. Go over to Kachemak Bay and do some hiking/camping. Take the ferry to Seldovia and explore for the day (it’s… a weird, small town).

      Are you thinking day-hike or thru-hike?

   4. A friend and I kayaked by the Columbia glacier about six years ago and used Pangaea Adventures Day Tours. 100% recommend and would do it again. Kayaking in the ice field was unlike anything I had ever experienced.

      1. This tour was out of Valdez, btw.

   5. Wherever you go in Alaska, there will be great hiking. I would pick a region and determination your itinerary from there. For kayaking, you would be in good shape going somewhere out of the Kenai Peninsula: Homer, Seward, Kachemak Bay. Whatever you do: plan ahead. I cannot emphasize this enough. Alaska is very busy in the summer, you will need reservations for whatever you are doing – campsites, kayaking with a guide, fishing tours, taking the train. Train comment aside, there is not great transit between towns so you should plan on renting a car and you’d have a lot more freedom that way.

      1. And even with a car you’re stuck in the tiny fraction of the state that’s accessible via the road system.

5. I don’t remember who recommended it, but thank you for posting about the Forever35 podcast—I binge-listened it all over the past week!

   1. I have been listening, too! And I ordered the under-eye masks they discuss, which I love.

6. Looking for gift ideas for a woman turning 60. I don’t know much about her interests. She is a grandma, married, and works outside of the home. Looking to spend about $30-40. Thoughts on gifts with broad appeal? Bonus points if it can be purchased at chain retailer so I can provide gift receipt.

   1. I’d stick with a consumable – fancy chocolate, olive oil etc.

   2. -Actual framed photos of kids and grandkids still go over well with my 60 year old mom.
      -60 year old female coworkers who are also grandmothers loved new contigo travel coffee mugs as Christmas gifts this year. You could do that and tuck a $25 Starbucks gift card inside. Depending on her personality, you can also get contigo and Yeti travel mugs mongrammed on etsy which might be a nice way to personalize.
      -Gift certificate for a mani/pedi and a bottle of cute polish
      -Movie voucher tickets from Costco (enough for her and the grandkids for when they visit, or for her to take her husband and a friend)
      -Flowers, delivered.
      -A CD of songs from her birth year and a bottle of champagne

      1. Not songs from her birth year. Songs from the 70s, which is when she was young. (But really, no CDs at all — see below.)

   3. My mom is that age and is only interested in flowers and consumables as gifts. My parents (and many folks in that age bracket) are downsizing and don’t want stuff. Things like locally made candy, fancy cheeses, artisan breads, small batch local gelato, etc. go over really well in my family.

      1. My in-laws love fancy cheeses as gifts.

         1. I’m only 29 and I would also love fancy cheese as a gift.

            1. 32 and same. Now I want cheese.

   4. I’m going to be 60 this year and please, for the love of all that is good and holy, no non-consumables! We have more stuff that we know what to do with, and in the alternative universe in which we want more stuff, we want to pick it out ourselves.

      If it were me I would love champagne or chocolate. But everything grapefruit lists above is great, too.

      1. +1 to the champagne.

         When I visit my family for holidays, I always bring a case of bubbles, fancy cheese, and local candies as a “group gift” to enjoy over the weekend. I’ve never had any complaints!

7. I keep seeing recommendations for Costco items here and elsewhere. Is it worth the $60 yearly fee? The closest one to my house doesn’t sell gas or alcohol. I’m pretty against paying for the privilege of purchasing things and I hate yearly credit card fees. I just wonder if you end up saving more? Also, I don’t usually store large quantities of items. Just two adults, 2 dogs and 1 cat, no human kiddos. I’m sorely tempted, though…

   1. I won’t pay for it either yet but I have heard they have a car rental service that gives discounts on major rentals. I think there are a lot of services like that, plus they sell clothes, jewelry, and apparently their meat section is good.

   2. I would guess that it’s not if you don’t store large quantities of things, especially if you don’t have kids. Most people I know with Costco memberships have large families and/or always have 5-gallon bottles of olive oil and 50lb bags of rice in the pantry.

      But do you have a friend with a membership who’d be willing to take you along some time so you could compare the prices? (This is okay with their rules, btw.) Maybe they’ll have a really good price on dog food or something!

   3. I’m a Costco evangelist, but it doesn’t sound like it would be a great fit for you. It’s a warehouse so if you don’t like buying in bulk and storing things, Costco isn’t for you.

      I shop at Costco because I hate going to the grocery store and I like having everything in one place. I’d rather have bulk food than lots of different options and the quality is better than my local grocery stores (plus better organic options). I also get most of my wine and beer there. Yes they also have great deals on random things but I wouldn’t count on that adding up to the cost of membership. I have executive and it pays for itself every year, but I go about every other week (very close to my house) and get all my gas there.

      You can look at the website to get an idea of what they carry and then make a decision on whether it’s right for you.

      1. Costco does have very high quality dog food, so if you’re interested in switching your dogs to the Costco brand, that might make it worth it.

         1. Thanks! Yes, that’s kind of what got me started on this path. I read that they have dupes of Taste of the Wild, which is what my dogs like.

            1. Fair warning, both my coworker and I are OBSESSED with Costco. Our dogs disagree and refuse to eat Costco brand kibble. My dog will grudgingly eat the Costco canned food and biscuits; hers will touch neither. At this point we both only buy the mega-packs of bully sticks on a regular basis.

               (We talk about our dogs and Costco a lot. Both independently of each other, and in tandem.)

   4. We are also a two adult, 2 dog, 1 cat family. It’s worth it for us for some things but we definitely don’t do all of our grocery shopping there. Pet food and allergy medicine are _extremely_ good deals, for example, and we always know that we’re going to use all of those things, no matter the bulk they come in. Their meat selection is good, and that freezes really well so buying it in bulk makes some sense. But I am just never going to use 5 lbs of flour before it goes bad and also generally don’t believe in buying things like spices, where the age of the item really matters for flavor, in bulk. They’re also not super consistent in what they have in stock. So sometimes I go there and, for example, the awesome granola they used to sell that was a way better price than my grocery store is gone never to return.

      Then over time random one-off items will come up that are amazing deals at Costco. We just bought a new king sized mattress there for $650 dollars (what?!?!) and it’s amazingly comfortable and very good quality.

      We also have the credit card, which has great points and no additional fee beyond the membership.

      I think it’s worth it, is what I’m saying. But, it’s not like if you don’t have it you’re making some kind of enormous financial mistake.

   5. Yes. I do a Costco trip every two weeks and don’t buy a whole lot in bulk. For you, the cost savings in dog food alone might make it worthwhile. For me, the kitty litter for one cat almost makes it worth it!
      I did a grocery trip this weekend, and here’s some of what I bought:
      -Giant rotisserie chicken $5
      -1lb container of organic washed baby spinach $4
      -2 dozen brown organic cage free eggs $6
      -Extra large (27oz) container of all natural almond butter $7
      -24 cans of La Croiz water $7
      -Shelled hemp hearts (2lbs) $4
      -9.5 oz Parmesan Cheese Whisps $7

      For work clothes, I’ve found some real wins there too. I have a ponte knit skirt I bought in the fall for $17 and I’ve worn it once a week since. My boyfriend got Izod brand sport chino shorts there this weekend for $17/pair. I love their camis ($11 for a pack of three) and socks.

      For the home, their towels and sheets are very hgih quality and reasonably priced. I also do like buying toilet paper, paper towels, kitchen trash bags, and laundry detergent just twice a year and not having to think about it in the interim, but those are the only bulk items I store.

      And of course, my bf and I love a $1.50 hot dog and a drink post-Costco shopping trip lunch date at their food court. Though this weekend, I saw my southeastern Costco had added an Acai bowl to their food court menu (for just $5!).

   6. We’ve had a membership for years (and still do even thought the closest one is several hours away). For us it works because we look at Costco as a potential source for a lot of our purchases- home goods, electronics, furniture, beauty products, clothing, etc. Also, their customer service and return policy is really good and their private labeled stuff is decent quality. Go check it out with a friend or even get a membership and see it you like it. I think they will refund the membership fee in full if you change your mind (see: good return policy).

   7. While not everything is less expensive than it would be elsewhere, certain products definitely are. I probably get $60 back in what I would spend at another store on coffee, mixed nuts, Babybel cheese, and granola bars alone in the course of a year. Their photo development (which you can have mailed to you) is very high quality.

      1. +1 forgot about the photo development. The prints I’ve gotten from them are really well done. My house is covered in framed photos so this is important to me.

         1. And the printer ink refills……. That saves a lot of $$ for me.

   8. I only buy a select number of things at Costco, and still make out ahead. I do get a lot of wine there, and get gas there whenever possible. I also get my contacts solution and allergy meds there, and probably save make back the membership fees just on those alone. We go through a ton of fruit, and I buy food there for entertaining, and it’s much, much cheaper through Costco than the grocery store.

      I also seriously appreciate their return policy. I had a tv stop working after three months for no discernible reason, and Costco exchanged it for a new one of the exact same model, no fuss. I can’t imagine trying that at a different store.

   9. If you are a contact lens buyer, it’s worth it for that alone IMO.

      1. ooo, I am. And I’m also looking at prescriptions – my elderly dog is on like 4 or 5 different ones.

         1. Costco prescription medications are substantially less expensive then most pharmacies! That alone saves me the membership costs, and added to the savings on rental cars, tires, and the relative few foods that my household of 2 purchases there definitely makes it worthwhile.

            1. this! i made my membership fee back from the pharmacy alone.

               their prices are so out of this world low that i wonder if they take a loss of certain medications to get you in the store.

               i have also gotten glasses there and their prices are like nothing i have seen elsewhere. lenses cost the same regardless of the prescription, so that can be a benefit if you have a very strong one.

         2. I’ve heard that they can’t require a membership to use the pharmacy. I’m not sure how true that is…but its something I’ve always heard.

      2. I just looked this up and I’d save over $20 a box – thank you for the tip! My partner and I both wear contacts.

   10. I’ll give you the perspective of a 2 healthy adult, and 3 cat household. We routinely buy: tofu, cat litter, protein powder, supplements (their b12 is so cheap!), mushrooms, apple sauce, hummus, pitas, bread, naan, rice, dried lentils, cans of beans/tomatoes, etc. We live in a small apartment and we manage to fit it all. The card pays for itself in tofu alone. You do need to be aware of what things cost though because while some products are an excellent deal others are not.

       1. We buy some of the above, plus a ton of organic fruit/veggies – all winter long, we pick up broccoli, mushrooms, brussels sprouts, and carrots and roast them for eating throughout the week. We also get greens year round – a big bag that we sautee when we’re roasting in winter, and use in green smoothies in the summer. We usually go every other week.

   11. I’m single and used to have a membership before you could get household stuff on Amazon. I’d buy paper products and dry goods in bulk; I didn’t mind storing stuff. It was also useful for buying electronics (haven’t bought any in a while), gifts around the holidays, and entertaining/camping. Now that I can get most of this stuff delivered to my door, though, it’s just not worth the trip (closest one is ~30 mins away) even if I could save a little bit of money.

   12. My parents have a Costco membership. I mocked them until the day my noise-cancelling headphones died while I was visiting them… and Costco had the same headphones for $100 less than I would have paid anywhere else. Plus the chicken is good.

       I still don’t have a membership myself because my tiny condo doesn’t allow for storage. But I would be all over sharing with my parents if I lived closer to them.

   13. Basically if you have any plans to buy electronics, otc meds, glasses or jewelry in the next year, membership fee is totally worth it. Their strategy is selling high markup items, so you’ll find cheaper milk or bread, but you won’t find cheaper parmigiano/prime meat etc.

       We buy: Milk and eggs and bread, meats, wine, and paper goods at costco

8. I’m planning a trip to Spain this September – 2 weeks. Would love any recommendations – especially beaches. We’re planning to travel around by train and hit up Barcelona, Madrid, San Sebastian but are still tbd on southern spain and the coast.

   1. I think Malagueta is a classic beach to visit. The water is COLD in September though – I was there in 2015.

   2. The water in the South of Spain is generally much colder than the rest of the Mediterranean because it is so close to the Atlantic Ocean. We went in July, so perhaps it gets warmer by September, but it was already warm in Cinque Terre (Italy) / St. Tropez around that time.

      We did a roadtrip through South of Spain – I would recommend Granada (2+ days, the Moorish architecture is out of this world, and really fun to do with a trip to Marrakesh added on), Sevilla, Ronda, all of which I really loved.

   3. A really late response, but there is a cute beach town outside of Barcelona called Sitges. You can take a pretty cheap (5ish Euros when I was there) train there from one of the main Barcelona stations. The beaches in Barcelona are fun but Sitges is a quiet respite from the city.

   4. Posting here late so hopefully you see this! I went to Malaga for several days this past fall and loved it. We went to the beach for a day, wandered around the couple of sites and shopped one day (there’s a large area of pedestrian only streets of restaurants and shopping), and did a few day trips (including Córdoba and Mijas). Great food, very relaxing, and a good base to get to other places in Spain. You definitely could do day trips to other beaches- Marbella is supposed to be beautiful and is easily accessible on the train.

   5. Sorry for the late post, but I highly recommend Mallorca for beaches. It is a quick flight from Barcelona and is absolutely spectacular.

   6. I caught all the late posts. Thanks!!

9. Anyone want to do some virtual shopping for a dress? A friend is having a courthouse wedding and a brunch reception this summer, and everything I own is either too casual or too…nightlife. Either purchased or RTR is fine. Budget is $150 max. I tend to look best in a-line or fit-and-flare silhouettes. Bold color and/or wild prints are fine. Thanks in advance!

   1. https://shop.nordstrom.com/s/ali-jay-my-lovers-italian-midi-dress/4862553?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&fashioncolor=BLACK

      I just bought this and love it. It’s very comfortable and flattering, and the fabric feels good quality. If you don’t want to wear black, I’m also a fan of this brand’s aesthetic generally and I think they have several options that fit your not-too-casual-but-not-clubbing requirements.

      1. Thanks! I don’t want to wear black, but I do like the look of some of that brand’s other options. I wish the one you linked came in other colors—it would be perfect!

         1. I know, I would totally buy it in like 5 colors.

   2. Ugh, in moderation, probably for the link I posted. Check out the brand Ali and Jay at Nordies. I just bought a dress from that line and love it.

   3. Links will probably go into moderation so hopefully you can search for these on RTR. I am 5’0 approx 135 lbs and carry most of my weight in my stomach. Also 32DDD bra size.

      Cynthia Steffee Abstract Printed Jacquard Dress (I got this in an 8, but 10 would have fit better)
      Jill Jill Stuart Dot Your Eyes Dress (This one in a size 10 worked for me)

      I also prefer a-line and fit and flare styles. Sometimes I found similar styles under the “you may also like” section. I found the search functionality lacking on RTR for the dress styles I was looking for.

      1. Thanks! I will check those out.

10. Our 40 pound, 1.5 year old pup got hit by a car this morning (& they didn’t stop…which makes me even more angry). Broken pelvis and dislocated hip are seeming to be the worst of the injuries. I’ve been researching all afternoon how to care for a dog with a broken pelvis, but does anyone have any tips or suggestions to share?

    1. No advice, but so sorry!! I hope your pup heals well. And how awful that the driver didn’t even stop.

    2. Oh my god I’m so sorry to hear this! I’m glad the damage was not worse! No experience, but best of luck.

    3. I’m sorry about your puppers.

       I don’t have experience with a dog with this injury. But the same happened to my cat. We had to keep him basically immobile for quite a while so we bought a cat crate and fed him by hand for a few days. He had to do his business lying down, which was the worst part. We very gently changed the towels under him to take care of that. My mother actually took care of him during those days because she was home during the day.

       Sooner than we expected, he was standing on his feet, I think mainly because he was tired of messing himself (and you probably know cats are fastidious about that – I’m not sure about dogs) so as I recall we kept him in a larger enclosure with a small litter box at that point.

       We did have to keep track of his ins and outs food wise because they wanted to be sure everything internal was working.

       And again, sooner than we thought and sooner than the vet was probably comfortable with, he wanted to be independent again, so we started letting him wander around the house.

       He limped for the rest of his life but you couldn’t otherwise tell he’d been injured, and he didn’t seem to be in any great pain – he resumed his kittenish, playful ways pretty quickly.

    4. My pup has been in the vet hospital all day because of a crazy bout of vomiting and stomach pain, so I empathize with your stress and worry, although I don’t have any experience with this particular issue.

    5. I’m so sorry this happened to your pup! I don’t have experience with that injury, but our last dog had to have a hind leg removed, and the Ruff Wear web master harness with the brush guard was really essential to helping him get out and about, because it puts pressure on the chest and not the hind end (vs a sling). Staying on top of pain management is definitely essential, so hopefully the vet will give you some good guidance on that. If you have hard wood floors, you might want to put down some non-slip runners where the dog usually walks, to prevent slipping/accidents/further injuries while he recovers and gets his mobility back. Best wishes and I hope your sweet pup has a quick recovery.

    6. Didn’t have a broken pelvis but I had a dog who was mauled and had drains all over and displaced disc in his neck. It was hugely important that he not jump so at first we kept him in a large crate. He HATED it. Found that a guest bath was just as suitable and more comfortable for him since there was nothing to jump on and too small to use any speed. May not be helpful at first if your dog can’t have any weight bearing but keep it in mind as an option when he’s well enough that it’s simply desired not to stress his injury. They’re more common now, but I also wish I had known about soft e-collars instead of the hard cone ones. I think he would have been more comfortable when healing.

    7. Not that exact injury but we did have a CCL (knee ligament) repair in our dog last fall which required absolute 24/7 crate rest for a month followed by several more months of significantly restricted activity with physical therapy . If you dealing with crate rest, using a larger crate may make your dog more comfortable. We have a 30 lb cocker spaniel and used a large size crate . A water bowl mounted to the side worked better than a bowl on the floor. We also kept in on a towel so we could slide it from room to room so she could be with us. You may have to play with padding in the crate- we cut a piece of memory foam to fit and covered it with a towel.
       She souldn’t handle thicker padding at first. Boredom is a real issue so look into puzzle toys and feeders to make things a little more interesting. We sometimes put the crate outside or even had an ipad on with nature sounds/scenes and she seem to like that. We ended up not needing a harness for potty visits- she would tolerate us carrying her outside/down the steps and she could shift her weight to squat. It seemed like forever at the time but we all survived. I hope your pup makes a full recovery.

11. That’s awful! I’m so sorry. I imagine your vet will give you a sling to get him outside – that’s what we had when our dog had a leg removed. He may not want to eat so maybe buy some chicken to cut up. I wonder if calcium supplements will help? Maybe cottage cheese or plain yogurt, which might help too if he’s on antibiotics. I’m all over the map here but will keep thinking!

12. Did anyone here *know* they were pregnant immediately after conception or in the week following conception? How did you *know*?

    1. I don’t think I knew quite that early, but I knew well before my period was late. For me, it was a combination of very sore breasts, extreme thirst, and exhaustion. I have been pregnant 3 times and each time it was the same (though the last time I did not recognize right away because I was always tired from working and raising two kids and was still nursing so the thirst and breast soreness were not so out of place.)

       1. +1

    2. By number 4 I was extremely confidant, even if I didn’t “know.” But I had already gotten pregnant 3 out of 3 times I had unprotected sex and had gotten a positive ovulation test two hours before conception.

    3. I had weird pains and a sort of heaviness in my abdomen right around after we conceived. The Internet told me they were just ovulation pains, which have nothing to do with pregnancy. But I never had those pains until the cycle I got pregnant. I also had very sore br*asts beginning maybe a week before my period was due. They were so sore I took a test. It was negative but then I retested on the day my period was due and got a positive.

    4. I had unbelievable heartburn less than a week after conception. (That lasted all through pregnancy and beyond.) And suddenly things tasted… a little off. I remember I was having a beer with friends and it tasted so strange I didn’t want to finish it.

    5. Tired and the morning I took a test (which was 10 days after positive OPK) I had period-like cramps. That day my pulse was high and remained that way for about 2 weeks. My husband “knew” before I did though cause I complained about being tired the entire week (I just thought I was having a busy week).

13. My husband and I really need a vacation. We have a toddler and live on the West coast. I am too exhausted to plan anything. Our max flight time is about 4 hours before full on toddler meltdown. Can someone recommend a tour company or something that’s not an all-inclusive but takes the thinking out of it in a place with nice views and access to hiking/water activities?

    1. Any major resort in Hawaii.

    2. What time of year? Where are you on the West Coast? I think you can’t go wrong booking a condo in Carmel or near the water in North County (north of San Diego). Caveat that these are expensive options.

       In the summer, you might also consider: Black Butte / Sun River (central Oregon), Cannon Beach (Oregon Coast), Hood River, Oregon (or you could go to the other side of the river at Skamania Lodge), Tahoe (California), or the San Juan Islands (Washington). I would choose a place that either has a pool, access to a beach, or both. And personally, I would choose something within driving distance, so you can bring whatever you want.

    3. Honestly, some of the best no work vacations I’ve ever taken have been cruises- once you get on the boat, there’s sort of no more work. With a toddler there’d be things like shows and lounging by the pool. If you’re west coast, you may be able to drive to a port and forgo flying altogether.

       1. Agree that a cruise or all-inclusive is the best way to relax with a toddler. If you don’t want to do that, maybe a nice resort w a pool in Sedona?

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