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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 148 Comments · by

Suit of the Week: Nanette Lepore

Suit of the Week

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Corporette's Suit of the Week: Nanette LeporeFor busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional. Colored suits are everywhere this fall, which still strikes me as a pleasant change, and a great way to perk up a wardrobe of all black/gray/navy suits. I'm liking the subtle differences on this purple suit from Nanette Lepore — the skirt is just a bit more flippy than your usual suit skirt, and the peplum starts just a wee bit higher (more midriff than waist). (I'm not sure if this is a nod to the croptop trend, but I'm seeing a LOT of very cropped suit jackets lately. Personally I'm not a fan of jackets that end above the hips, though — I think part of the reason I like this suit so much is because the jacket has a normal length overall.)   The jacket (Nanette Lepore Stardust Jacket) is $448, and the skirt (Nanette Lepore Gamma Skirt) is $228.
Nanette Lepore Stardust Jacket Nanette Lepore Gamma Skirt
(L-5)

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Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. DC area maid service

    What’s the going rate for maid service in the DC/Arlington area? We’ve got an 1100 sq ft, 2 bed/2 bath condo along the Orange Line and we’re just looking for someone to clean, not straighten up or do laundry or other errands. Can anyone in a similar situation share what they pay? Asking because we got a referral from friends who rave about their maid, and I’m trying to figure out if the amount they said they pay her is reasonable. Thanks in advance!

    • Rani

      We pay $110 every two weeks for a 2 bed/2 bath apartment about that size. I’ve had a few that were a little less ~$95, but there were issues.

    • Anon

      We pay $165 every two weeks for cleaning and laundry (two adults) for a ~2000 sqft townhouse in NoVA.

    • CapHillAnon

      $85 every two weeks, similar square footage, cleaning only too. If we went to every 3 or 4 weeks, the price would go up closer to $100. Our cleaning person is amazing. The ones we had previously were more in line with what Rani pays, and inconsistent in quality.

    • L in DC

      We pay $70 every two weeks for cleaning for two adults for a 600 sq ft 1 bed/1 bath in Foggy Bottom.

    • tazdevil

      Have asked any of your neigbors? Also if you live in an apt or condo with a front desk person, you could ask them if they know any of the cleaning people who already come to the bulding.

    • rosie

      We paid $85 for biweekly cleaning service in MoCo (2 adults, 1 dog, 1100 sq ft, 1.5 bath). We now pay the same service $120 for a 1500 sq ft place in DC (2.5 bath).

  2. NbyNW

    Nice suit Kat. Pretty color – have to try it on, though, to see if it would work.

  3. Calico

    Paging Zora! Excited to have a fellow advice column junkie. Have you ever read Ask Polly on The Awl? It only comes out once a week, but that’s really all you need. Both the questions and responses are like novels. It’s fun but takes forever to read.
    http://www.theawl.com/?s=ask+polly

    • zora

      I’m Here I’m Here, I was over there reading some advice columns, obvi. ;o) I do not know that one but I will add it to my list! Anything to fill up 8 hours a day, ha. I’m so into advice columns, but i am also weirdly picky, as I am with everything. I find Dear Prudence annoying for some reason, and Ask Amy, omg I can’t EVEN after she went on an anti-welfare rant on one LW, rawr. Still read Hax sometimes, miss Dear Sugar so much I could cry (which is also what i do when I read any of her columns, so it’s a lose-lose situation) and now I’m liking Captain Awkward a lot. I’ll let you know what I think of Ask Polly. But I think I need MOAR. Any more suggestions?

      • TBK

        Huge advice columnist fan, too. You find Prudence annoying because she is annoying. Much of her advice is off the mark, plus she uses a sort of faux voice in her writing that I find irritating. Amy is way too momish for me, plus I think she’s often out of her depth. Hax, though, I think is usually right on the money.

      • Calico

        Yes, yes! I love Hax. Dear Prudence is awful. Don’t enjoy Amy at all either. I think you’ll like Polly because it’s a little offbeat. My least favorite is Cary on Salon. I am baffled sometimes by his responses. If you want to read something totally ridiculous have you tried Ask Jean on Elle.com? It’s my barrel scrapping for when I really need a fix. A long time ago I read something called Elder Wisdom Circle. It was fascinating. I’m off to search for it!

        • TBK

          Cary is the worst navel-gazing, what-does-it-all-mean, self-important drivel I have ever read on an advice column. I do like Savage Love, although it is so very NSFW.

          • zora

            I read Cary, like, twice, and I honestly was wondering what freaking PLANET he was living on, it just made no sense. I LOVE Dan Savage but cannot listen/read at work because he makes me laugh so hard I can’t breathe!! ;o)

            TBK: you totally nailed why I hate Prudence. I will check out Wendy as well.

            There was a guy who was trying to start a column called The Dude Whisperer, explaining guy behavior to women. It was Hi. Lar. I. Ous. Kind of similar to the “He’s Just Not That Into You” perspective, but so much better. I loved it so much, but he disappeared, probably for like a real job, etc, but I wish that one existed.

            Yay for more procrastinating!! Also found this website thanks to Captain Awkward, which is another new obsession: http://the-toast.net/2013/10/23/texts-william-blake/

          • Calico

            For some reason I don’t read Savage Love though I’m familiar with him. I will start!

          • zora

            And now i just found this, for anyone who wants to rant-read hate-responses to bad advice columnists. I think it’s too negatory for me, but I am also morbidly fascinated and might have to read a bunch anyway….

            http://thatbadadvice.tumblr.com/

          • Maggie

            Zora I just posted a link to that bad advice tumblr on yesterday’s post but I see you found it! Some of them make me crack up.

      • Monday

        I love advice columns but am still looking for one that doesn’t question and victim-blame when people write in about being s3xually assaulted.

      • AIMS

        I read Dan Savage religiously.
        I am also a big fan of the old Dear Economist column (google it) & find those are fun to read and there’s plenty old columns to go through (he solves your issues using basic economic theory).
        And probably any etiquette column except maybe Social Qs, which I read but never enjoy because 60% of the time the question isn’t actually answered.

      • AT

        Sars at TomatoNation dot com does an advice column every few days or week. I don’t know if I’ve ever disagreed with her, and I’ve been reading for years.

    • Anonymous

      Try Dear Wendy! One of my favorite sites so I will shamelessly promote her.

    • ezt

      I am partial to Caity Weaver’s Thatz Not Okay column on Gawker. Silly but amusing.

      • anonymous

        Dear Sugar on the Rumpus. Hasn’t had any new columns in a while but I love her columns and her book (which is a collection of her columns).

  4. Friendship Q

    I have a question about a friend I’ll call “S” who was my bridesmaid more than 2 years ago. At the time I got engaged & asked S to be a bridesmaid I thought of her as a fairly close friend, although we lived across the country from each other and didn’t talk that regularly. Some may see the fact that we didn’t talk often as a sign that we weren’t that close, but I’ve never been the type of person to talk constantly to my friends – I have a couple long-term close friends that I talk to only a couple times a year but we always pick up where we left off. Anyway, given that S lived far from me, she did not participate in wedding planning or my bridal shower, which I understood. But I was hurt by the fact that she did not express any enthusiasm for the wedding or regret that she had to miss the shower. Just to be clear – I was definitely not expecting any sort of shower gift from her, but I thought a card or even a text or email telling me she was sorry she couldn’t be there would have been nice.

    At the wedding itself, S went on and on about how expensive it was for her, although she drove to it and the vast majority of our guests had to fly. Yes, I realize that a couple nights of hotel was not cheap and she spent about $150 on the bridesmaid dress, but overall it was still way cheaper for her (as a bridesmaid!) than it was for most of our guests. I didn’t ask my bridesmaids to spend money on shoes and I covered their hair and makeup, and gave them a nice gift that was almost equal in value to the cost of the dress. She complained about numerous things at the wedding, and vocally enough that some guests on my husband’s side asked what was going on. After the wedding, which she was supposedly so miserable at, she posted some of the wedding pictures taken by our professional photographer on Facebook before I had even seen them, since I was out of the country on my honeymoon. This would have bothered me less if it had been a continuation of her excitement and enthusiasm about the wedding, but it annoyed me that she was so unenthusiastic leading up to and at the wedding, and then suddenly when it came time to share pics on Facebook she had to be the first one to do it.

    I haven’t seen her since the wedding, since we live far apart. She hasn’t visited my area and I’ve visited hers only once, but she had planned a fairly last minute trip out of town that coincided with my visit. This hurt my feelings too, since I’d told her about the visit well in advance and let her know that I’d love to see her and was free anytime that weekend that worked for her. However close we once were or weren’t, it seems clear now that we aren’t close at all. In addition to planning a trip out of town when she knew I’d be visiting, she hasn’t told me about big life developments, like her new boyfriend and her promotion, and I’ve heard about those things from Facebook or mutual friends.

    Should I just accept that this friendship is over and let it die its natural death? Should I try to talk to her about how hurt I was by her actions at my wedding? I feel like the time for that has passed and it would have been right after my wedding. Should I try to get back in touch again without airing my feelings on the past? I didn’t mean to write such a long-winded post, sorry.

    • mascot

      She’s just not that into your friendship. It happens. Let go of whatever happened at the wedding; that was 2 years ago. It can be hard when friendships fade, but you don’t need to keep opening yourself up to getting hurt every time you put yourself out there and she rejects it.

    • bananagram

      She absolutely shouldn’t have complained vocally at your reception but… I can see where she’s coming from. A couple’s wedding is a huge day for them. For almost everyone else it’s a fancy party, one which often entails huge obligations (both financial and otherwise). Do you want the friendship to end over your wedding? If you don’t, be the bigger person. Instead of calling her to air your grievances (which will probably just make her defensive) call her and ask her what’s new. Only you know if you want to carry on with the friendship.

    • Calico

      Wow, at first I thought I was reading the morning thread again. Check out this morning’s post for more thoughts on the situation you are in. My two cents- life is long. Friends come in and out of your life for many reasons. I would not put more time in if you don’t continue to get much back from her, but I also wouldn’t burn the bridge either. Who knows what she is feeling right now? Weddings are tough for so many reasons. Perhaps she’ll be in a place in her life later on where she can be a better friend to you. Check in with her now and again with a note or a phone call. Count on your day to day friends for the heavy lifting and leave the door open for this old friend for the future.

      • bananagram

        Calico put it so much better than I did. Calilng her to say that her behavior hurt you would probably burn the bridge back to friendship.

      • January

        This is good advice (you must be an advice-column junkie, like me! ;)). But I also wondered if the other friend from this morning’s thread had somehow written in to give the other side of the story.

        • Calico

          I am! See above- ha ha. But I’ve also lost my share of friends over the years. Some I really regret losing but I know it was the right choice for me (i.e. toxic friends, selfish friends.) But some that I’ve lost through my own negligence I miss dearly. I burned some bridges back in my day and I though I learned from it I still miss those friendships.

    • Anon

      I think you need to let it go and if you can’t get past it, you shouldn’t be friends. If you want to be friends, reach out and say something like, “Hey, what’s new with you?” and ask her questions about her life, make an effort to talk about her. I don’t know you guys, but maybe she was offended that you only bother talking to her a few times a year, maybe not, maybe you just grew apart from not seeing each other and are busy with your own separate lives. If she doesn’t respond then so be it, but at least you made the effort and won’t have it on your mind.

    • lia

      I’d put the friendship on the back burner – who knows where you’ll both be in 5 or 10 years? It’s clearly not happening now, but who knows if you’ll ever cleave back toward closeness in the future, why completely cut her out for good?

    • Anonymous

      I’ve been in this spot before – it sucks and it hurts, but I think a “call out” would just be burning the bridge. If you want to be friends with her, reach out and see how she is doing. If not, let it fade.

      Just as a side not because of this morning too, do people really expect bridesmaids to help with the planning of the wedding?

      • Stephanie

        Apparently they do expect bridesmaids to help with the planning. No one ever told me that though, so I was the worst maid of honor EVER to my college BFF. I just didn’t get it– I had barely ever been to any weddings at that age, let alone been in one, and I have a small family that doesn’t really do big traditional stuff. So my mom never told me any of that– I didn’t know you’re supposed to be a helper or plan anything. Plus this was a bit of a DIY wedding at her parents house. Lots to do, but I just kind of showed up, clueless. I’m sure at that age I was put off by the concept, not being familiar with it. What a fiasco.

      • Friendship Q

        I didn’t really expect them to do much. Most of my bridesmaids other than S asked if there was anything they could do, and I mostly said no – partly because I’m a little bit of a control freak & it was just easier to do it myself than delegate ;) My maid of honor went dress shopping with me, which I think is pretty typical. But then I got sad my mom wasn’t there & ended up flying home to visit my mom & go dress-shopping with her, which is when I ended up buying my dress.

    • posey

      “Some may see the fact that we didn’t talk often as a sign that we weren’t that close, but I’ve never been the type of person to talk constantly to my friends – I have a couple long-term close friends that I talk to only a couple times a year but we always pick up where we left off.”

      Is it possible that she doesn’t feel this way? Maybe she doesn’t think you’re that close at all and was surprised to be asked to be a bridesmaid. Obviously she shouldn’t have complained, but overall her behavior shows that for whatever reason she’s not that into the friendship right now. Just let it go.

    • S in Chicago

      A different “S” :)

      I would still keep in touch with the occasional email, Christmas card, etc., but take a break for awhile on trying to push for more. It’s possible she has other things going on that she is not up to sharing. Some folks retreat a bit when bad things or lack of things are happening. Or perhaps the distance is just too much work to her. Not everyone is a good distance friend. (Just like some couples can make distance work and others can’t.) It doesn’t mean she is necessarily mad or disliking you. And it’s possible as things shift in your life or hers that she’ll be more available. Sometimes as everyone starts getting married, having kids, buying first homes, or doing other major life stagey sorts of things around the same times they start to connect again. Other times, you just have to chalk it up to going different ways in life and try not to take it too personally. Friendships have to go both ways. You can’t force someone to be a more thoughtful friend.

      Whatever you do, don’t bring up the wedding. You’ll look petty and possibly give her a “reason” for distance rather than her own lack of effort. (But I totally feel you. One of my friends shared pictures of my destination wedding before me with everyone who basically didn’t attend via mass email–awkward and just awful for my relationships with many of the recipients. And not to sound too vain, but they were her own photos taken at end of night and from some awful angles so were VERY unflattering pictures, too. I seriously have never looked worse. It was absolutely hurtful and mortifying. What is wrong with people???) But as frustrating as having your photos shared may have been, you’re not going to change that it happened. It probably isn’t worth asking for an apology even, as she most probably didn’t do it to deliberately hurt you–I think some people just truly don’t get that it’s not like sharing a simple photo of a party you went to or what you did for the weekend.

      Anyway, good luck. I hope your friend comes around and realizes she is really missing out.

    • anon

      Brides are so crazy! Sorry but seriously, your wedding was two years ago, and you are still talking about it? And not in the sense of “it was a lovely, meaningful day with my husband, and I am so lucky to have found him,” but in the sense of “all of my friends were not OVER THE MOON about being involved in MY day, to the best of their abilities.” All of these wedding threads lately are touching a nerve. My comment isn’t so much in response to just what you are saying but all of the other discussions as well. Full disclosure, I am not yet married, but I think all of these brides needs to get over themselves. People who are in your wedding regularly have to spend over $2000 to get to your destination and take part in your day. They give up vacation days from work and re-arrange their lives to take part in your day. Give it a rest please. No one is ever going to care as much as you do, and it is totally irrational to expect them to.

      • Friendship Q

        I know exactly what she spend on my wedding & it was way less than $2000. It was around $500. Nor did she have to take vacation from work. But yes, I recognize that being in a wedding is normally a big commitment in terms of both time & money & I repeatedly told my friends how honored & happy I was that they were a part of my day. I don’t think its unreasonable that I was hurt by someone I thought was a good friend complaining loudly & constantly throughout the entire day about everything: the food, the wine, the dress, the venue, and yes, the expense involved for her. I recognize that my wedding day was not the most important day of her life, but is it really too much to ask that someone who you thought was one of your 5 closest friends expresses happiness & excitement for you at one of the most significant times in your life? Anyway, I don’t even think my question was so much about the wedding as it was about our friendship – the wedding was just the point in my life where I began to realize she wasn’t as good a friend as I thought she was, so that’s why I mentioned it. It’s true that I was hurt by her behavior before & during my wedding, but my question was actually about how to handle the fact that she seems to no longer see us as close, which is about her behavior, not mine. Anyway, congratulations. Your comment accomplished your goal of making made me feel like sh!t. Thanks.

        • anon

          I didn’t mean to make you feel bad about this, honestly. It was more a comment about weddings in general. I really just meant, enough is enough with the wedding stuff. I kind of feel like weddings for brides are like New Year’s Eve for the rest of us–there are so many expectations with the day, and it never lives up to the thoughts in your head. I was trying to offer a different perspective (assuming that your friend is not married herself). To some degree, she probably felt some of the things that I wrote in my post. If you feel like that was a slight on her part, you would probably have to acknowledge her point of view, and forgive whatever slight you perceive, in order to move on with the friendship. But I don’t think you can discuss that with her at this point. You would have to get to a point of forgiveness on your own. Also, as much as you want/wanted her to understand your point of view on the big day, she can reasonably expect you, as her friend, to understand hers, especially two years later. She may have acted incorrectly, but there may have been a reason for it. If you aren’t willing to see her side, you probably don’t want to be friends with her anymore.

        • viv

          Brush off the rude comments. It’s one of the reasons why I don’t take this site seriously anymore. I don’t think you were expecting too much of your friend. Weddings are sensitive times for everyone, but I think grown ups can recognize how important the day is and be supportive of each other rather than casting a negative light on everything by constantly complaining on your wedding day. I know as a bride how absolutely critical it was to have supportive bridesmaids. I was so nervous about everything, their support was crucial. It’s perfectly natural that you would want that from her as a bridesmaid and be hurt by her response. As for your friendship? Who knows? If you want to find out what’s really going on, you’d have to ask her. Good luck to you. and I’m sorry for how things turned out. One other thought – I read in the book The Charisma Myth that sometimes writing out an apology you never received can be incredibly healing and help you let go. That might be the best option.

      • Anon in Cali

        I couldn’t agree more with what everyone is saying. Right on point all!

        – Its been two years so drop it.
        – Don’t burn your bridges by calling her out about it.
        – If you feel distant from her, let the friendship fade. Things happen.
        – If the friendship is still important to you, give her a call to catch up and talk about other things.
        – Don’t expect everyone to feel as excited about your wedding as you do because no one will. I always wondered by the wedding party have to pay for their own dresses/suits, flight and other expenses when its not even their wedding! They are probably happier not doing it. I just paid for everyone’s everything during my wedding.

        • Anon

          This +1000. I have been in far too many weddings (childhood friends, college friends, sorority sisters, law school classmates, siblings and cousins). About half of the time I was lucky to be in wedding party where the travel, required wardrobe and hair/makeup and hotel rooms were paid by he couple or their parents; the other half I had to fork over anywhere between $1000 to $3000 between the dresses, shoes, bachelorette party, shower, gifts, etc. I’m not sure when it became the norm to not pay for your attendants/maids dresses (my mother was in a dozen weddings in the 1960s and never once paid for her own dress). While I enjoyed being a part of nearly all of these weddings, I noticed that the brides not covering the costs tended to be the control freak / bridezilla types far more often than the brides where I didn’t have to pay a small fortune to be a part of the special day. I also noticed that those couples (the ones where I had to pay to play) also never reciprocated when it came time for special occasions in my own life (law school graduation or milestone birthdays) yet were still complaining about so-and-so who failed to pay enough attention to whatever at their special day. I’m over the wedding industrial complex that has perverted what was meant to be a celebration of a couple’s love and commitment while standing up in front of their community.

      • KLG

        ” but I think all of these brides needs to get over themselves.” Then don’t attend their weddings.

    • Friendship Q

      Thanks all — minus anon — for your thoughtful comments. You’ve given me a lot to think about. I certainly won’t burn any bridges with her by rehashing the wedding stuff. I realize people go in and out of each others lives and friendships change over time, so I’ll be open to the possibility that at some point we may be good friends again, but won’t get my hopes up.

    • TO Lawyer

      This might be posted too late but I had a thought: is it possible that you’ve been less interested in your friend’s life than you were previously? Some of my very good friends got married recently and while I didn’t act like your friend did at their weddings, our friendships have now seemed less important to the newly married ladies so I don’t end up telling them big news in my life – I’ve found other people to share that with.

      Maybe you just need to make more of an effort with your friend – call her and email her and make it a point to ask her about her life. (and stop using “we” so often, you are still your own person even though you got married!)

  5. preg 3L

    My (unemployed) sister has offered to be a live-in nanny after my baby is born early next year. She’s currently living with our parents so she wouldn’t be saving money on rent. I’m still in law school (as my handle suggests) so I’ll only be able to take about 1-2 weeks off of school after the baby’s birth. Fortunately, I don’t have many classes left, but I will still need childcare before my child is old enough for daycare. I will also need some sort of childcare arrangement for the summer, when I’m studying for the bar exam (and I plan to BF so it would be great to have access to the baby so that I’m not pumping all day every day). My sister and I get along well, DH gets along well with my sister, and I have a good amount of confidence in her ability to care for my newborn. She has suggested the live-in arrangement be 3 days/week during the school year and then 5 days/week during the summer (and on the remaining days, she would live with our parents, about 2 hours away). DH & I would have to purchase a bed for my sister but we have space (until August when we have to move). What else should I think through before agreeing to this? Has anyone done this with a family member? Thanks!

    • Killer Kitten Heels

      Thoughts on things to figure out, in no particular order:

      Are you planning on compensating her? Is she expecting to be compensated? (Beyond “roof over your head 3-5 nights a week”, I mean.)

      What happens if she has a falling out with your parents and can no longer live there?

      What happens if she finds a new job during the period you’re expecting her to be available for care?

      What happens *after* the bar exam is over?

      What are her/your expectations for how many hours of care per day she’ll be responsible for on the days that she’s living with you?

      What happens if it doesn’t work out (on your end, on her end, or both)?

      What’s your back-up plan when she’s sick?

      What (if any) other tasks will you expect her to do – solely baby care? Baby care + things that are incidental to baby care (i.e. baby’s laundry, taking out diaper-filled trash, etc.)? Baby care + general light housework?

      What about transportation – is she going to be taking the baby places? Will you be buying a second car seat for her car, or letting her use yours when she cares for the baby?

    • Anon

      Things to think about (in no particular order, and with the caveat that I haven’t been in this situation):

      Does your sister have experience with infants?

      Can you tell your sister what to do? Can she take direction from you? Can you handle disagreements well?

      Have you considered taking the spring 2014 semester off? I knew a few classmates who returned to school immediately after giving birth, but it was a rough go. The ones who took a semester off fared far better in the near-term and the long-run.

      Please forgive me if I’m off base, but I seem to recall both that you/your sister have a strained relationship with your mom. Is this just her way of escaping mom & dad’s house without having to find a “real” job? I put “real” in quotes only because you haven’t mentioned that she showed any previous desire to be a nanny or work in childcare, which makes me question if she just sees this as an easy escape rather than something she’s actually passionate about.

      Also, forgive me if I’m remembering incorrectly, but is this the same sister that had some sort of mental issue recently (hospitalized/committed) or something of that nature? Not knocking her, but is she up for the task of caring for a newborn?

      • preg 3L

        KKH and Anon, these are great questions and very helpful!

        Taking Spring 2014 semester off of school is not an option for many reasons, but the least of which is that I have post-graduate employment secured and will be starting in September 2014.

        • Avery

          I had three friends who gave birth and returned to law school within a few weeks. All were able to juggle the responsibilities and continue to do really well in classes (and pass the bar). You can do it!

    • TBK

      I’d consider writing up an agreement that includes what she’ll be paid, how often (are you paying her, or just giving her room and board?), what her availability is, etc. (I’m sure there are sample agreements online). The pro of doing that would be that it would be very clear up front, you could work through any disagreements ahead of time, and people wouldn’t get hurt later on because of divergent assumptions. The con is that people can be weird about fancy-pants lawyer relatives getting all legal techy on them. You know best how your sister would react to a suggestion like that. Alternatively, you probably want to sit down with her and your husband and clearly talk through expectations. Also, is she actively looking for work? What would you do if she got a job before the baby was old enough for day care?

      • preg 3L

        Great thoughts. She is not actively looking for a regular full-time job and she has no plans to do so. She does consulting work for about 5 hours/week, often on weekends, which would likely continue throughout any nanny agreement we come to.

        • Anon

          “She is not actively looking for a regular full-time job and she has no plans to do so.”

          So – this worries me. The only people I know that are around your sister’s age (I’m guessing, based off of your age and the fact that she is a younger sister) who aren’t actively looking for work are either (1) already gainfully employed, (2) lazy/entitled and living off parents, or (3) have some sort of a disability (physical or mental) that makes holding down employment difficult and/or impossible. I would be very reluctant to let my sibling watch my baby if 2 or 3 was the reason they were living at home (it wouldn’t mean I don’t love them – it just means I’d rather someone else be the responsible adult watching over my infant).

          • preg 3L

            Thanks for your concern. Let’s say she’s educated in a trade, and that trade does not offer regular full-time employment, so it makes no sense for her to try to get a “regular” job.

          • Anon

            This is not helpful but I am now picturing your sister as a professional Mrs. Claus :)

          • Diana Barry

            I am still confused by this, unless she is a professional musician or something else, and is looking for work in her field but not in other ‘regular’ fields. I don’t understand why she isn’t looking for employment otherwise, and it seems like a red flag to me.

          • Anon

            I am anon at 3:29 and I agree with Diana Berry. It seems like a red flag. And you seem to be enabling her by saying that it is okay for an adult (who is not otherwise supported by another adult via mutual agreement, ie stay-at-home-dad or mom) to just not try and hold down a job.

          • Anonymous

            Uh it makes sense because people need to have a job, unless they are lucky and already wealthy.

          • preg 3L

            I was really hoping for more ideas on how to make the arrangement work or cautionary tales that it won’t work, but since y’all are so curious, yes she’s a professional musician.

          • tesyaa

            Hardly any nannies have great career plans, and most are not looking to be career nannies. They might be students, they might be hoping something better will come along (with no concrete plans to make that happen), they might be semi-retired, they might just not be good at anything else except childcare, but one thing I know is that there are very, very few professional Mrs. Doubtfires out there.

            (That doesn’t mean they can’t be good nannies).

          • Anon

            Other thoughts:

            What if she gets a good offer for a temporary gig? Does she turn it down since she’s nanny-ing for you, or does she take it since prof musician is her primary job (even if fewer hours)?

            Fixed hours? Is she “off” when you get home? Who gets up at night? Does that change if you and/or your husband have something significant going on the next day (exam, bar study, etc)?

            Living arrangements – I thought you were in a 1BR. Are you turning the living room into her bedroom? How will that work during non-sleeping hours? Just something to think about/talk through before she moves in (not a deal-breaker, but a 600 sq ft brooklyn apartment is small for 3 adults and 1 infant).

    • Anonymous

      I definitely agree with writing up an agreement. In addition to everyone else’s suggestions: Will she be allowed time off? You probably need to allot her some “vacation days” during the summer. What if she has to go to a doctors appointment? Can you or your husband miss school for that? Is she completely “child free” at night after you get home, or will you need additional help during that time? Will she also be babysitting for “date nights” or is she just 9-5 and then done. What will your house rules be? Can she have friends/love interests over? I think having a family member take care of your baby is a great option. They get to bond, and a lot of times people are more trusting of their family members. I would just explicitly lay out ground rules before beginning the arrangement.

      • tesyaa

        A lot, if not all these issues come up with nannies who aren’t family members. The idea is to hire the sister and avoid strains in the family relationship. If you don’t hit it off with a nanny who isn’t a family member, they’re out of your life. Here it’s her sister and that’s why she asked for advice.

    • Anonymous

      Having read all of these comments and concerns, I would add that if it were me I would be comforted by the idea of having a live-in family member (so, on call) rather than a stranger with my infant. Also I want to offer kudos on finding a solution that works for you/your DH so that you can return to school and not be delayed.

      Maybe you could ask her to read some materials before starting the care so that you are totally comfortable with the idea of her handling things? Maybe also have a back-up person for emergencies/ if sister is sick/ etc?

    • Anon

      I think this would also depend on the type of relationship you have with your sister. My sister and I get along well, and I think she is a smart, caring, competent person. However, I am still her older sister and she still views me (and therefore kind of filters everything I say) through that relationship. So if she were to watch my child with any sort of regularity and there were issues or even preferences that I voiced, I know she would react with the attitude that I am just her bossy older sister who thinks she knows everything. She would probably still do what I asked, but it would be very different that a non-sister nanny for both of us. But maybe that is just our own issue, haha!

    • Pink

      I don’t have children or a spouse, but having babysat my cousins to help my aunt and uncle, starting in high school and as a young, professional adult (ie. staying with the kids on school vacay days since I was a teacher), I would say to remember that she is your sister first and helping you out of the goodness of her heart, as your sister, and to bond with her niece/nephew. My aunt and uncle did not seem to get that I was not their hired help, and treated me in a way that did not acknowledge that I was donating my time to help them as family but might have been more acceptable had it been a paid position.

      Regardless of whether you decide to pay your sister or not, I think remembering your primary relationship and preserving that is important.

  6. BMBG

    Question sparked by thread earlier today:

    Someone commented that a woman took a more senior role and started dressing like it. I’ve had the feeling I need to bump up my wardrobe for a few months now to project both seniority and authority. But what does that look like? I wear a lot of skirts and sweaters now, Brooks Brothers, JCrew, or similar quality (with occasional Gap/Old Navy thrown in).

    Does that mean blazers every day? More tailored? More collared shirts? I’m struggling with what “stepping it up” looks like …

    • BMBG

      Law, business casual. I tend toward classic, which always somehow comes out looking disheveled and frumpy.

      • Kontraktor

        Could you schedule an appointment with a Nordstrom’s personal shopper or style consultant who could come to your home and help you sort through current items (what is working, why, what isn’t, what can be adjusted, maybe going shopping with you, etc.)? Maybe you just might need some tips on fit and cuts if you are feeling disheveled and frumpy. A style consultant might also be able to help you shop for some key pieces that will go with items you have or suggest how to style or tailor things you already have to just ‘look’ better.

        I am a firm believer in that looking polished and ‘a step up’ isn’t so much about specific items, but rather the overall look of put-together-ness.

      • Anon

        I would get a few classic pieces tailored – a blazer, a button down, a pencil skirt, a pair of pants. You can possibly even get things you already own tailored, rather than buy new ones.

      • Anon

        If those are your issues and blazers aren’t that appealing, I’d suggest focusing on your hair, jewelry and shoes.

    • preg anon

      I think blazers go a long way toward stepping it up. Start buying colored blazers when you see them. You don’t have to go buy a bunch right now, but buy one every few months or so, and your collection will increase quickly. I think that also means putting more thought into your outfits, including coordinating jewelry, scarves, and shoes. It sounds like you dress well already, so perhaps just throwing a blazer over your outfits will do the trick.

    • Killer Kitten Heels

      To me, this means more tailored, more blazers, more “luxury” fabrics (i.e. replace synthetics/cotton with silk and cashmere). I don’t necessarily think this means more collared shirts, but that’s because I look stupid and short-necked in them and never, ever wear them anymore.

      Also, stepped-up, to me, includes thoughtful, coordinated accessories (jewelry/bags/shoes). You can be in a $1000 outfit and if your accessories don’t match (I mean “match” in the Stacy-and-Clinton-What-Not-To-Wear sense, not the old school 50s matchy-matchy sense), I’m not going to think you look “fancy”.

      Lastly, I think thoughtful use of color helps – i.e., if you’re wearing gray pants and a black blazer and a white shirt, I won’t necessarily think it’s bad, but it won’t catch my attention in a “wow, she looks put-together” way the way that, say, someone in a plum blazer and gray pants and a crimson shirt would (I saw someone dressed in this outfit last week and fell madly in love with the color combo).

    • Pink

      I think BB is definitely on the right track, along with certain jcrew items. As Killer Kitten mentioned, it’s about the quality and tailoring of the pieces. ie. the Lands End ponte dresses vs. the suiting sheath dresses from jcrew/BB. I also think that shoes and other accessories make a difference – classic, quality leather vs. colorful jcrew suede ballet flats. I suppose treating everyday like client/power meeting day vs. casual office Friday would also make a difference.

    • ITDS

      Tuck in your shirt. I was at a large business luncheon today and there was a lady there wearing a sweater and slacks with her blouse untucked. Everyone else was in business or dressy business casual attire, and the untucked blouse somehow made this one lady look very junior.

      • tesyaa

        Depends on the person. I have given birth to 6 kids and I just DO NOT TUCK. I’m a size 4 on top and a size 6 on the bottom, and I don’t have a body image problem, but I just cannot wear shirts tucked in, with very few exceptions.

        You can wear a shirt untucked if it’s fitted and has a hem that’s meant to show, IMO.

      • Miz Swizz

        I agree with the shirt tucking as a belt can bring an outfit together and is an often overlooked accessory IMHO. I also like the mindset that every day is a client/power meeting because I know I have justified some poor clothing choices by telling myself that I’m not seeing anyone outside the office so who cares how I look? I’ve found since moving to my more senior position that just because I don’t have a meeting on my calendar at the beginning of the day, it doesn’t mean one won’t be added.

  7. Wondering

    I sometimes fantasize about working as an in-house lawyer at a fashion/beauty company (think Sephora or Armani or Nordstrom). I’m a litigator though, and often feel that in-house lit jobs are few and far between. Any fellow lawyers who work in the fashion/beauty industry care to comment on what they like or don’t like about their job? I love the law and I love fashion and it would be great to figure out a way to combine these interests.

    • Killer Kitten Heels

      My SIL worked on the corporate side of fashion (not in law, but in a purely business capacity), and other than the clothes, it’s not all that different from any other corporate job. My SIL’s background is in the fashion side of fashion, and after about 18 months on the corporate side, took a huge pay cut and moved to a much-lower-status (by fashion-world standards) brand just to be able to get back to actually doing fashion things. I am not a fashion lawyer, and maybe it’s different for in-house lawyers, but my guess is that if you’re thinking of this as a way to marry law and fashion, you’re likely to end up disappointed at the lack of fashion in the day-to-day aspects of an in-house job.

    • preg anon

      That’s what I’ve always heard was the case. It can be contracts, IP, etc., but it has little to do with fashion.

    • Former retail

      The fashion/garment industry is volatile and cut-throat. The culture is intense and pay is often low, I believe because it’s been a female dominated industry (except at the top.) I used to work Big Law hours on maybe half of a starting Big Law salary – after several years in the business.

      That said, I really do miss my 25% discount!

  8. Flying Squirrel

    I like this suit…not that I need suits at my new job or could wear this even if I did since I currently look like I swallowed a basketball (11 more weeks to go!!)…

    Job advice ThreadJack…apology in advance for my novel:

    I’m very much at a loss about how to handle my current work situation, and I’m hoping some of you ladies might have some advice. I’ve been at my current job about 3 months. Had to move coasts mid-pregnancy so DH and I could finally live in the same place. While I really liked the job I left, I was actually fairly excited for this new opportunity as well.

    Without too many details, I was hired to be part of a brand new (didn’t even exist when I interviewed) team within a very large company. Partially because things were so new, my role was fairly ill-defined…though my conversations with my boss during my interview and while I was considering the offer clearly indicated that my primary role would be to help set up the new team including defining its direction and establishing its place within our company.

    At this point, however, I’m completely confused and at a loss as to what I’m supposed to be doing and what my supervisor wants. When I started, I was given a main project/task to work on (which was a perfect match to my past background) that was in the realm of the strategic planning we had discussed during my offer. Well, after about a month, my supervisor indicated that he didn’t want me working on the strategic project anymore (because he no longer felt it was necessary). Instead, my boss asked me to take on another strategic project which was exactly what I wanted to do. As part of this, I need to organize and oversee several other members of my team, though I don’t have a formal management role (this isn’t such a big deal, though). He gave me a firm deadline (which happens to coincide with when I would go on maternity leave), and I’ve been keeping him apprised of what we’re doing…trying to have at least weekly meetings with him about it, but this often doesn’t work out. He also has been a little vague about what deliverable he wants and who this should be aimed at…and every time I try to get clarity he says something that directly conflicts with what he said before (or my understanding of it). Yesterday, I was finally able to pin him down for a few minutes, and he said essentially said the objective is exactly the opposite of what we’ve been working toward the past 6 weeks…and is completely inconsistent with most of the work we’ve done all of which he’s said so far is great and exactly what he was hoping before. I wasn’t able to get any further clarity on what he actually does want, since he had to cut our meeting short for another one.

    So now I’m at a loss. I’m supposed to deliver something, but I clearly don’t have the first clue as to what. A lot of my team is getting restless, since they are also getting mixed messages from my supervisor. Outside of my team, other parts of the company are looking to us for what I thought we were supposed to deliver originally. And it’s basically impossible to get time to talk to my boss for more than 10 minutes every two weeks (I’ve tried every strategy I know from scheduling meetings to stalking his office to just accosting him when I see him in the hallway to emailing him). I would just press forward with the original project, but ultimately it’s only valuable if I can make it clear to my team and others that he has endorsed it.

    Meanwhile, he basically spends all his time only talking to two people in my team…both of whom have management roles. No one else on my team knows what’s going on (which they’ve made clear to me)…though at least they all have technical projects to occupy their time (I was working on what but for a variety of reasons it’s going nowhere and he explicitly told me not to work on the project most of the others are working on, I think because he didn’t want me getting bogged down in it).

    At this point I’m seriously feeling like I should be trying to find another team to work with…at least my role has given me a lot of contact with other parts of the company, and most people here seem to like me. But I’m most interested in what my team is doing (or should be doing). Should I just wait it out since I’m going on mat leave in a couple months anyway? I worry that I won’t want to come back? Any other suggestions on how to discuss with my boss? I’m just at a loss, but completely frustrated and often bored (not helped by the fact that a good friend of mine is filling in at my old job, so I know a lot about what’s going on there and still miss it).

        • hoola hoopa

          Sheesh, I swear I read the post before asking – but, yep, there it is at the very beginning!

          I agree with anon regarding email communication to, at the very least, document that you’ve been keeping him aware of your actions and plans. If you are phrasing your check-ins as ‘is this what you would like and is this timeline going to work for you?’ change the tone to ‘this is what we are going to do and this is the timeline.’ With < 3mo out before a major deliverable, you and your team may have to pick the final goal and move towards it without your boss making a final decision.

          While you may feel more settled and sure of your new role in the coming months, your boss' managment and decision making style probably is not going to change. In my experience, some people can work for supervisors like that and some cannot. If you are the later, then that alone is reason to move on. The nice thing for you is that you will have options within your organization to transition before or after maternity leave without affecting your FMLA status, etc.

    • Anon

      On the one hand, I want to tell you to relax. 3 months is not very long in a new role, and it’s certainly not that long for a new team. On the other, I think you need to be careful that issues with the project don’t get blamed on you when you’re out on maternity leave. You’ve mentioned many ways you’ve tried to get face-to-face time with your boss, but have you tried writing an email with the plan you’d like to follow? Keep it streamlined/easy to read. You can say something like: “Since we got cut short, I’d like to outline the approach I think we’re following…”

    • Ellen

      My father alway’s tell’s me there is NO “I” in the word “team”. So that mean’s that we on the team, as MEMBER’s, Have to work together if we are to suceed. I would give them more time to settel in with you b/c it takes time for a team to learn how to work together. Beside’s, you have JUST had a baby (YAY!), and you should remember that your hormone’s are still rageing and will NOT settel down for a while. Also, being in a new place with HUSBAND and BABY can be a little unerveing — I know it would be for me and I usualy am cool as a Kukeumbar, according to the manageing partner, that is. So relax, take it easy and you will do well. And if after mabye a year you still don’t GELL with the team, you can start to look for another job. But for now, remember, RELAX (if you can) !!!!! YAY!!!!

    • Samantha

      There’s a bigger picture issue that I don’t have immediate advice on, but on the communication with boss issue, is it possible to send him email summaries stating what was agreed upon, every time you talked to him? In as much detail as possible. This way you’ll have a paper trail for if and when he changes his mind. Similarly solicit his feedback on paper too (if he says “good job” on something before he changes course, you have that on paper).
      This way you can at least establish that you’re the one being consistent and he is not. You don’t want them to blame things on your “mommy brain” later (apologize for that term, and I don’t think it applies universally at all, but your boss seems really flaky and I wouldn’t risk any negative perception that arises due to his unavailability and inconsistency).

  9. NYC

    This suit would look hilarious on me (tall, long waisted).

    I bought some Chanel nail polish as a splurge, because I loved the color (orange fizz). After 3 uses, I am forced to admit that it just does not hold up as well as Essie or Opi (chips sooner). I guess this is good news, because it was so expensive. Curious if anyone has had a similar experience.

    • Monday

      I’ve read reviews that Chanel beauty items in general are far from worth the price. The only item I’ve tried is Inimitable mascara and I was disappointed. No other experience though.

      • Abby Lockhart

        I bought a great Chanel lipstick years ago and wore it until I had to apply it with my finger. So when I decided to up my makeup game, I went to Chanel. Bought 4 items and I hate them all. I don’t have sensitive skin, but I reacted with a rash that looked and felt like a sunburn each time I tried to wear it. Plus, they weren’t able to match my skintone with any color of foundation. Back to Target I went.

      • A Nonny Moose

        A Nordie’s saleswoman talked me into their lipstick. I was going to my engagement photo shoot and asked for something super long lasting. I spent way too much money on Chanel lipstick that ended up all over DH’s face. Fail.

    • emmabean

      I’ve had a similar experience. It was very disappointing, but I learned my lesson. Never again. I still sometimes wear it with the understanding that it’ll last a day at the most because the color is so pretty!

    • RED

      I am surprised to hear this! Are you also using a top coat? I love Chanel’s top coat (goes for 4-5 days without any chipping).

    • a.k.

      I’ve used Chanel polishes and had great experiences. Have you tried changing your base or top coat? I use Seche Vite on top and reapply every other day.

    • Chanel Anon

      I own probably two dozen Chanel polish colors – with Seche Vite they tend to last at least a week without chipping.

  10. hoola hoopa

    I’m not sure many figures could pull off that jacket, but I’d love to be proven wrong.

    I’m looking for a long cardigan without pockets. Below hip, natural fibers, fine knit, prefer a closure but open to an open (ha!) front so long as front is same length as back and not too full/drapey. I’m finding it surprisingly hard to find.

    I’ve looked at Lands End, J Crew, Nordstroms, Madewell, Gap, and BR. Where else should I look?

    • A Nonny Moose

      What’s your price point? I’ve heard amazing things about TB cardigans, and her Simone cardigan looks perfect for what you’re after.

      • posey

        I have a TB Simone cardigan and I love it. It was pricey but it’s a cardigan I reach for every week.

        • hoola hoopa

          Sigh, that’s *exactly* what I’m looking for. It is unfortunately outside my price range, since I want to feel comfortable wearing it on the weekends around my small children.

  11. Bonnie

    I love the color of this suit but can’t get on board with the cut of the jacket. It doesn’t even look attractive on the model. I think it tries to put together too many trends with the big buttons, peplum and pleating.

    Has anybody developed food allergies later in life? I’m allergic to something but haven’t been able to figure it out. I had allergy tests a decade ago but may have to suck it up and do it again.

    • preg 3L

      I’ve been told that your allergies change every 7 years, so yes you can definitely acquire a new allergy at any point. It hasn’t happened to me (yet!) but it sounds like it’s worth doing a test again.

    • BMBG

      Yes, shellfish in my early to mid-20s. Which is horrible since I know how good they taste! Sorry to hear it, but allergy tests may be the best way to answer the question.

    • Parfait

      My housemate just developed a beet allergy. Which was unfortunate for our carpet.

    • Allergies in late 30s

      Yes! I have never had food or environmental allergies. But in my late thirties (after I stopped breastfeeding my 3rd child), I developed an allergy to garlic and onions (yes, this is a real thing). It is a nightmare, because I am vegetarian, so garlic and onions flavor pretty much all of my food. Manifested as rashes, skin itching, headaches, abdominal pain and once severe nausea after eating some almost raw garlic (the episode that lead me to I figure out what it was).

      • EB

        Not on topic with OP’s question, but for Allergies in late 30s, Rao’s makes a jarred sensitive formula marinara sauce that is made without garlic or onions. It’s really good.

    • Anon in NYC

      Yes – I’ve developed a sensitivity to cow’s milk that I had never had before, causing bloating, acne, and just general discomfort. Once I switched to almond milk, zero problems. My friend developed ulcerative colitis in his early 30’s, with no prior history of any sort of issues (and also without a family history, I think).

      • Lady Harriet

        Not at allergy per se, but my mom became lactose intolerant at age 49.

    • anon2

      Developed a caffeine sensitivity in my early 30’s , mild lactose intolerance in my early 40’s.

    • Anonymous

      Yes! You can develop allergies at anytime. There’s not much rhyme or reason. A lot of allergies make an appearance in your early 20s, but they could definitely develop much later.

    • Sara

      Lactose intolerance can be a side-effect of starting Zoloft (though I’m not sure of other SSRIs). I had it for a year before my system righted itself and I was able to start with dairy products again. The “best” thing about it? I didn’t even know it was a side effect until five years later, purely by chance.

      Other dietary intolerances can occur after taking prescription-strength ulcer medicines.

  12. NOLA

    Yowza! What an afternoon. Fire alarm went off and we could not get kids to leave the building. Then there are the ones who see a giant crowd of people standing outside the building and think they can just walk in…

    • Also in Academia

      Ha ha ha! Part of my job is to clear the building and not let anyone come back in, while trying to get the public safety department to resolve the issue as fast as possible. It’s never fun, and there is just no hope of getting everyone to congregate by this one tree and check to make sure no one is missing. Looks good in the emergency manual but impossible in practice.

  13. hair

    Hair advice needed. I am getting my thick, curly hair blown out tonight in a salon because I’m having a professional photo taken tomorrow. I’d like it to look shiny and polished. I never blow dry my hair myself (I usually flat iron once dry), and I’ve had a salon blow out a handful of times. Any tips for what to ask for? Is it normal for the stylist to sit you under a dryer for a while before blowing out your hair? I had a stylist do this once, and I don’t think it came out as well, but I don’t know if she just didn’t do as good of a job or if it got frizzy sitting under the dryer. Thanks!

    • Walnut

      I’ve never sat under a dryer for a blowout. The stylist generally washes, round brushes while drying and then finishes it with a bit of flat ironing.

    • Stephanie

      I’ve only had a hair stylist do this once and shockingly it came out pretty good. I’m curious though– how do you air dry thick curly hair and then flat iron it? I’ve never tried and I can’t imagine it would work.

      • hoola hoopa

        Not the OP, but I air dry and flat iron my thick, curly hair and it works great. It takes 45-60 min to get through it all, but it looks good after and stays straight until I wash again. It doesn’t take any longer than if I blow dry it first (minus dry time, obviously).

        • Stephanie

          Ah ok. I think I approach the flat iron differently. I blow dry straight, then just run the flat iron through some of it for just a couple minutes, enough to make it less poufy.

      • belils

        I wash at night and air dry while sleeping, then flat iron in the morning. Flat iron is the only way to get my very thick, curly hair anywhere near straight — and it actually just makes it look like I got a bouncy blow-out. Blow drying (no matter who does it or with what tools, believe me, I’ve tried) gives me too much volume.

  14. Parfait

    I like the suit, but wow, those peep-toed zippered booties they’ve styled it with are something else. I had to go view the full-screen picture and zoom in for all the toe-seam-showing horror.

    • Stephanie

      I do not know what is up with people who think ankle boots go with everything. They don’t.

      • Abby Lockhart

        It is my opinion that those particular ankle boots don’t go with anything, esp. black stockings with toe seams.

  15. Wildkitten

    Who told me to watch Hart of Dixie?

    This show is TERRIBLE. I think I might love it.

    • zora

      We ALL did! It Is Terrible. TERRIBLY AMAZING. and irresistible. Don’t even try, resistance is futile. srsly

      • Wildkitten

        It’s free on Netflix! That’s dangerous. I watched the first episode for $2 on Amazon and was not about to keep that up… Now I’ll watch all of Season 1 probably this weekend.

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