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Updated: Oct 30, 2018 119 Comments · by

Suit of the Week: Classiques Entier

The Personal Shopper (TPS) |

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classiques-entier-suits-on-saleFor busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional. Ooh: the sale at Nordstrom is really good right now, you guys! I've done a full round-up of the sale here, but take this suit for example: The jacket in petite is still $279, but regular sizes 2-16 is only $167. The pants and skirt are both 40% off too (they were each $179 and are both $107 now), available in most sizes 2-18 and (for the pants) petites. The plus size version of the suit is also 40% off; the jacket was $299 but is now $180; the matching pants were $199 but are now $120. Nice. Here's a link to all of the matching pieces. Some other good suits in the sale that seem to have most sizes left: this gray Boss suit, this Tahari suit, this gray Classiques suit, and this plus-sized Sejour suit. (L-all)

Sales of note for 8.30.24

  • Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
  • Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Bergdorf Goodman – Final Days Designer Sale, up to 75% off; extra 20% off sale
  • Boden – 20% off
  • Brooks Brothers – Extra 25% off clearance
  • Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
  • J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
  • J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
  • Lo & Sons – Summer sale, up to 50% off (ends 9/2)
  • Madewell – Extra 40% off sale; extra 50% off select denim; 25% off fall essentials
  • M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
  • Rothy's – End of season sale, up to 50% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear in the big sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
  • White House Black Market – Up to 70% off sale

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Comments

  1. anon

    I got new (expensive) glasses, and it seems the nose piece might be too narrow for my nose. Arrrgggh. It’s giving me a headache. Can anything be done about this problem???

    • Anonymous

      Sure, take it back to the place you purchased it from and ask them to adjust it for you.

      • anon

        I should have said they are plastic frames, so like one piece through the nose. It seems like it would have to be shaved or melted or something.

        • Anonymous

          Most plastic frames should be able to be adjusted. They will have tools like a little heat machine they use to soften the plastic so it can bend.

          • Sydney Bristow

            Yup. I’ve had plastic glasses adjusted, although it wasn’t the nose part.

            FWIW, I’ve bought inexpensive prescription sunglasses online from Zenni. My coworker likes Eye Buy Direct. I plan to buy regular glasses from either company too.

    • Anonymous

      Do you mind sharing the brand/style/model? I love plastic frames but I have a hard time finding ones with a tight enough nose piece

    • Sloan Sabbith

      Try to have the place you bought it adjust it- they can melt it. I had the same problem with a pair of Ralph Laurens earlier this year, but the earpieces were rubbing so much they made the tops of my ears bleed. They tried adjusting them twice and they kept hurting- enough that I was taking them off and wearing my old pair most of the time. I eventually had to switch them for a different pair under Lenscrafter’s 30-day return policy.

  2. Tips for Jeans?

    Every pair of pants -especially jeans- wears out in the inner thigh. It happened when I was a size 2 as a kid, now it happens as a woman in size 14. Is there anything that can be done to prevent it other than to either patch the inside when it wears holes or keep replacing them? I tend to struggle to find well-fitting jeans (super hourglass shape plus short) so when I find one pair that fits well, I wear them almost exclusively (maybe 3-4x/week), they end up wearing out about every 4-5 months! Any suggestions are welcomed!

    • KT

      I’m sorry friend, if your thighs touch, it’s going to happen. And that depends on your build, not your weight. My thighs touched when I was a size 4, and they shake hands now that I’m plus-sized :)

      My only recommendation is look for a thicker denim with less stretch; stretchy jeans are a thin fabric and they tend to wear quicker. Hardier denims hold up much better. I will say my NYDJ seem to hold up to regular wear way more.

      • Anonymous

        +1 to all.

        It’s hard to find these days, but denim without polyester won’t pill. You’ll still have wear, but an all cotton denim should last you at least a year.

    • Anonymous

      I have the same problem, so when I find a pair I love, I buy multiples. Not an answer to the thigh rubbing problem, but it keeps me from being in a lurch/not being able to find the same style that I like.

    • Amelia Earhart

      Same issue and concur with KT that this is a build thing. Surprisingly, I find that my Old Navy jeans (worn daily) wear like iron for ~$30 compared to the $100 lucky brand jeans that lasted for only a few of months of regular wear at most.

      • nutella

        Yep! Love my Old Navy jeans! They wear well and are suuuuuch a great price. This was more an issue for me when I was a size 00 in Citizens than it is now as a size 2 in Old Navy jeans. Definitely how I’m built, but also can be mitigated with certain jeans.

    • Anonymous

      When I started hearing about the thigh gap trend I was like “wtf” because I didn’t have a thigh gap even when I was 110lbs and a size 2.

      I also buy multiples of pants/jeans I love.

  3. Chemical Peel

    Re-posting from this morning. Any recommendations for where to get a chemical peel in DC?

  4. Slips

    Does anyone have any recommendations for slips to wear under dresses. I want something to reduce static and make everything fall better, and it seems like most places have Spanx-like slips that are tight an clingy. I want something skimmy instead. Please point me in the right direction!
    In case it matters, I am a short-waisted tall, but I don’t think it matters if the slip is not a Tall, as many of my work dresses are tweed or ponte (some lined, some unlined).

  5. ANP

    Help me figure out my life. Husband and I have 3 kids age 7 and under, plus a dog. We’re done having babies. Live in a suburban-ish medium sized town with family ties and stable jobs.

    We moved to our house, a 3400 square foot 1980’s home in a subdivision in the middle of a cornfield, about 2.5 years ago. While it has a lot going for it, I’ve never loved the house’s aesthetic — although my husband does. Rather, it serves a purpose for us at this time in our life (great location, mudroom, big open kitchen so we can keep an eye on our littles, large lot/yard, dead-end street). But after 2.5 years here, we rarely use our second living room, our formal dining room, or our office — and 2/3 kids have voluntarily slept in the same room for the past 14 months, so the 4th bedroom feels superfluous as well.

    I’m the same poster who asked for advice — and received lots of good tips! — last week about feeling “bored” with life, so I’m not sure if my next question is borne from the fact that I don’t have any major changes on the horizon or just what. But I’m itching to move to a smaller house! It would be less yard work, less cleaning, less maintenance and heating/cooling of space we do not use. This is all on top of the fact that we are not as flush with cash as I’d like, and lower expenses/a cheaper mortgage would be awesome — although we can definitely stick it out for the next two years, at which point we’ll be done with daycare for the youngest and Husband will likely have received a significant promotion. Our limited cash flow means I haven’t been able to make the aesthetic updates that I’d like (yet).

    Anyone been here before? Does it make sense to downsize to a smaller house, or will my kids eat up all of that extra space when they’re teenagers? I wouldn’t do it if we were to lose money on the deal (and that’s a big “if” — our Realtor is supposed to get back to us with an estimate today), and it’s a TON of work to pack and move. What would you do here?

    • KT

      That is a HUGE house to me, but it all depends on your tastes and life-style. I would be absolutely overwhelmed with all that space, three kids or not.

      How does your husband feel? You said he likes the look, but does he contribute to its care, maintenance?

      Also, and I mean this gently–you sound like you are just in a rut in general, and you think downsizing would be the next big adventure. Are you the type of person who always has to have a huge project or goal? (I am, and I know once I achieved my goal–my dream home–I felt really lost for a while).

      Moving is really expensive, even if you sell at a profit. The cost of moving things, getting new licenses/checks/, car tags…all the little stuff really adds up, plus it’s stressful as heck.

      • Diana Barry

        +1. Do not move if you don’t need to. We moved recently and I developed anxiety as a result. NOT GOOD. It was super stressful and I couldn’t let myself feel all the stress when we were in the midst of moving, so instead it manifested itself afterwards.

        • Anon

          Seriously? You developed anxiety from moving? Maybe it made you anxious, but that’s just insulting to anyone with an actual anxiety disorder.

          • OP Anon

            This is an awful comment. On the various diagnostic screens for depression – moving is right up there with divorce, job loss etc as stressful events known to trigger mental health issues. Just because you don’t find moving extremely stressful doesn’t mean others can’t.

          • Anxiety Disorder

            I agree with Anon. You don’t develop anxiety from a move. You get anxious but anxiety is a mental health disorder that does not go away. It can be treated and lived with but it is an illness. Relatedly so is OCD. I hate it when people joke that they have OCD. You like to be organized, my day is ruined if the dishes are put away wrong.

    • emeralds

      If I were you, I wouldn’t necessarily downsize the number of bedrooms, but I would 100% be down for a smaller house that eliminates the superfluous second living room, formal dining (who even uses these on a regular bases anymore?), etc. I’m pretty minimalist by nature, and would rather have less to clean and more $$ for my savings. Even after daycare’s done and (if) your husband gets that promotion…why pay for space that you don’t need or want?

    • My perspective

      I firmly believe that people don’t need so much house. When I moved to the US I was floored at how large the homes were. 3400 sq ft sounds like a such a burden to me.

      We lived in a 2200 sq ft townhome pre-kids. I did not care for the size and the upkeep and the cleaning. Now, two kids later, we live in a 3 bed, 1600 sq ft in the city. And I really find that it is more than enough room for us. We have a room for guests and a small patio. We’re not walking over each other. But I know others that would balk at such a “small space”.

      My husband and I find a smaller home to be very freeing.

    • HSAL

      Like KT said, moving is expensive, and it’s exhausting. I’m tired just thinking about you moving kids and a dog. I do agree that you’re looking for the next adventure – I’m exactly the same way. Maybe start planning the aesthetic changes you’ll make in a couple years when you have more cash?

      I think you’ll appreciate having the space when the kids are older. That fourth bedroom will come in very handy. And maybe rethink the use for the extra rooms? Or just close them off so you don’t have to worry about cleaning so often?

    • Anonymous

      If money is an issue, I would downsize. If not, I would say, I don’t think your 4th bedroom will feel superfluous for long. My sister and I shared a room as kids but once we were teenagers we definitely didn’t want to.

      If the issue is more that you don’t feel like you use the space you have, I would alter the purpose of the rooms you don’t use right now. Maybe an exercise room? My house is a 2/2 with an office, set up as a 1 bedroom, 1 office, 1 exercise room, and I use all of the rooms.

    • Wow

      If you’re going to save money and don’t need the extra space, to me it seems like a no-brainer to move to a smaller home. And your smaller home is probably not going to be 1500 sq ft, right? It will probably be more than enough space.

      Yes, moving takes a lot of work. But if you go this route, I would consider hiring packers. It will be pricey but to me it would be worth it, plus you’ll offset costs with a lower mortgage.

      • Huh

        +1 I would only move if you will save a significant amount of money. I think Mr. Money Mustache advises that you should live in the cheapest house (but still nice) that you can, in a location as close as possible to work. Otherwise, it doesn’t seem worth the hassle.

    • Anonymous

      Get a hobby. Do not move, uproot your family, out of a house your husband loves, because you are bored. Figure out something else. Take piano lessons. Read novels. Do a triathlon. Don’t make massive expensive life choices to scratch an itch.

      • nutella

        I agree. Maybe the hobby can be cleaning out closets, etc. and selling some extra stuff through Craigslist, ebay, thredup, etc. I don’t know your house or town, but you will probably still want 4 bedrooms if you have 3 kids and I doubt you will really be saving that much money by cleaning 400 less sq ft or a smidge less of a yard. Of course people can and do live in much less space, so if that’s what you want, I think you should go drastically smaller if you actually want to save and offset the costs of moving, a realtor, etc.

    • Anonymous

      I’d stay put. With 3 kids you’ll use the space eventually. Turn the 4th bedroom into a hobby space for you – yoga room? music room? craft room? Also addresses your boredom problem.

      Home renos don’t have to be expensive – there are a million ideas online that basically involve a few cans of paint.

      Current favorite is if you have an unfinished basement – paint bike lanes all over it on the concrete floor so the kids can bike around inside in the winter. Perfect for the toddler/preschooler crowd. Easily changeable version/hardwood floor friendly version of this is to use painters tape to lay out race tracks for the kids. Bigger kids start line is further back.

      • Sydney Bristow

        DIY house stuff could be a solution for your boredom.

        I’ll echo others that it sounds like a lot of house. Not necessarily a bad thing. I grew up in a 2200 square foot home (originally was 1850 but they added on while we lived there) as one of 8 people. Always shared a bedroom. As a kid I didn’t necessarily like it but it did prepare me well for roommates in college and beyond.

        • Sydney Bristow

          Oohh I have another idea. How about learning to cook a certain type of food and hosting monthly dinner parties? A friend did that while trying to recreate the blogger who cooked food from all the countries of the world. That would give you a reason to use the dining room and a sort of quest to focus on.

      • Anonymous

        Plus you can farm out all the extra chores to your kids. They’ll be old enough soon to cut the grass and all that jazz.

    • MargaretO

      If you do stay I would put off doing any serious renovations/redecorating until the kids are a bit older – kids trash houses, you can get much nicer stuff that they won’t ruin if you wait 5 years or so. My parents did this when I was growing up (also 3 of us spaced closely together) and I think it was a genius move on their parts. But they also moved us around internationally when we were little, and sure it was chaotic and expensive, but they managed. If it really makes sense to move you can make it work if you want to (but it sounds like your husband doesn’t). Teenagers will want their own rooms. You might enjoy having a common room for your kids and their friends to hang out in when they get older to keep them out of your hair/the house quieter and cleaner/etc (again, my parents are very smart people). It seems like you could downsize a little but not an awful lot without feeling squeezed, I probably wouldn’t feel like it would be worth it in your situation.

    • anon

      I’d do some math and research first. You’ve only been in the house for 2.5 years. Presumably you picked that house for a reason after looking at other options in your area. Has the real estate market changed dramatically such that there are now other options that are so significantly cheaper that they justify taking on moving and closing costs twice in 3 years? Maybe the answer is yes – maybe a new development of 2.5k sq ft houses just cropped up down the street and they’re going for $100k less than your house and your G&E bill would only be $250/mo vs. the $400/mo you’re paying now. If so, go for it.

      Ime, there’s always going to be a slightly better deal out there in terms of housing – I rent/buy my place because it fit my needs at the time I needed it. If a better place at a slightly better price comes on the market 2 months later, oh well, that’s sort of how things go. Chasing that PERFECT house shortly after buying just ends up costing you more in closing costs, moving costs, and time without an appreciable difference in quality of life.

      • Meg Murry

        I’m also a +1 on math and research. I hear you on house size – we went from approximately 1500 square feet to 2500+ square feet of finished space (plus attics, etc), and tripled the size of our yard, and it just seems like *soo* much more house and yard to deal with. I love having space to spread out, but it seems like a lot to keep up with, and we just keep acquiring “stuff” to fill it.

        However, does the theoretical house you are talking about downsizing to exist in your desired town/neighborhood/commute range? Or would you be making other trade-offs? In my town houses tend to come as tiny or massive, there really isn’t much in between – or the in-betweens have tiny kitchens an only one bathroom and an awkward floor plan, so you’d want to add on or remodel and now you’re back to where you started. Or you’d be giving up a family friendly neighborhood for one with no kids, etc.

        But for research material, I’d highly suggest reading “The Not So Big House” by Sarah Susanka. It gets into what you are talking about – building houses that aren’t as large, but make good use of the space for everyday, instead of dining rooms that only get used 2X a year.

        It will cost you thousands of dollars to move, pay closing costs, etc – so why don’t you give your current place a little more time and try to do some inexpensive upgrades to make the aesthetic more “you”. Or do what others suggested and convert some of the existing rooms into ones you actually will use – for instance, I have friends that decided they would rather have a music room than a dining room, so they got rid of their dining room table and got a grand piano instead. Or as others have suggested, an exercise room, a home theater space, a crafting and sewing space, a library, convert one of the bedrooms into a massive walk-in closet/dressing room, etc.

        • Meg Murry

          Oh, and you can absolutely close off rooms that you aren’t using. If you really don’t use your office or 4th bedroom, you can put up super insulating curtains, close (or mostly close) the vents, close the door and put a draft guard on it, and you won’t be heating the space (at least, not as much). If you don’t want to clean or heat a space, close it off, and then all you’ll have to do is dust and vacuum it 2x a year or so. That’s what we’ve done with our 4th bedroom that isn’t being used right now. It has PVC clothing racks and lots of plastic bins and is only used for storing out of season or clothes that my kids need to grow in to.

    • Bonnie

      I wouldn’t decrease the number of bedrooms because the kids will likely want their own rooms later. However, can you move somewhere more central or closer where you and the kids will have access to more activities and other families to be friends with?

    • bridget

      My strong opinion is that you should stay put. You want to move because you are bored, not because it’s a necessity or an upgrade. Moving will cost you a lot of time, stress, and money.

      Also, as much as people say it’s a lot of house, it will feel perfect when the kids are bigger. You don’t like how it looks, but that’s not a deal breaker.

      And honestly, the cleaning/yard work from moving won’t be that much of a change, because 90% of your mess comes from your three young kids.

      Your marriage matters. How would you feel if you were content in a house that your family would grow into and your husband wanted to pack everyone up and move into a smaller place because he wants to save a half hour a week on vacuuming and he’s bored? Resentful? Angry? Like he had a screw loose and should have joined an adult sports league instead?

    • H

      That sounds like a great size for 3 kids. Eventually, they will likely all want their own rooms. And when they start having friends over a lot, you’ll be grateful for an extra living room to stash the kids and you and your husband can hang out in the other one.

      I think you are just feeling antsy right now. Time to find a new hobby!

  6. Worst Nightmare

    One of my coworkers got a phone call today that her husband of 40+ years died unexpectedly. He was retired and in mediocre health, but it was a complete shock. It was so awful. I just want to go home and hug my husband and my kid and never let them go. Ugh. So so awful.

    • Jitterbug

      Do you mean a contest format idea? Group costume idea? Or individual costume that is both work-appropriate and trophy-worthy?

    • Anon

      Depends on your office, but “Basket of Deplorables” with be easy and topical

  8. Legally Brunette

    I bought this suit yesterday! Will report back. And I bought the gray Classiques suit during NAS and really like it.

  9. TorontoNewbie

    I’m going to Barbados in February. Any tips or suggestions? I’ve never been any further south than Virginia.

    • anonbajan

      Go to the fish fry in Ostings. Held once a week, either Thursday or Friday. Harrison’s Cave was nice. not destroyed by tourists yet. Bridgetown has a lot of small cultural shops. Last time we went we took the kids to the submarine. It was fun but after the fact, not sure I would do it again as you were really deep in a small boat..but great fish and turtle viewing. Kids love Chefette. Lots of small shops and good food in St. Lawrence Gap. Everyone takes dollars so no need to exchange money. Food is expensive. Golf at the Green Monkey is exceptional if you are really a golfer. Safe to take the small minivans around the island. Can also take the regular bus without difficulty but make you have exact change. Have fun!

  10. Fatal Error

    Kat:

    I’m getting an error message whenever I try toclick on the previous post about office movies. I’m on the Chrome browser. Here’s the error:

    Fatal error: Call to undefined method W3_Config::get_cache_option() in /home/corporet/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wptouch-pro-3/core/class-cache-smash.php on line 99

    • Meredith Grey

      If it’s helpful to Kat, I got this too a few times until it spontaneously worked….

    • Midwest Mama

      I am too. I did with the morning post twice until it randomly worked, but I cannot get the previous post to open at all with the same error message. I’m on internet explorer.

  11. Sydney Bristow

    Health insurance is stupid. Trying to lose weight is a pain especially when it intersects with stupid health insurance. Today has been a long day and I just needed to vent. Anyone else want to vent your frustrations?

    • anon

      Right? We won’t cover medication/treatments related to weight loss because we would rather cover medications/treatments related to complications from obesity. Yay for preventative medicine.

      • Sydney Bristow

        That’s the exact conversation I just had. The diabetes version of my medication is covered. The weight loss one isn’t normally covered. It’s the same medication but different dosages.

    • ELS

      I am also super frustrated with losing weight (though not involving my insurance yet — still trying diet/exercise, though my doctor and I have a follow up in a few months to discuss). I’m not getting anywhere.

      This is exacerbated by the fact that work and home are crazy busy this time of year. I’m basically having an Alexander and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day kind of day. Or a Hyperbole and a Half Sneaky Hate Spiral day.

    • Veronica Mars

      I will have 3 days to move out of my apartment because of my travel schedule and I’m DREADING it! Plus, my usual helpers are unavailable. So I’m at it alone. Movers have been largely unresponsive, which is also stressful.

      • Sydney Bristow

        Oh boo! That’s a pain! If you’re in NYC, I recommend Suburban Solutions. I’ve used them twice and was really happy with them both times.

    • Anonymous

      There’s a super shady clinic in my city that does walk-in prescriptions for phentermine. For $150 they take your blood, do a questionably real EKG, put you on a Skype call with a Doctor who asks basic questions about your history with the drug, and you walk out the door with 2 months worth of phentermine. No insurance. No screwing around. Then they’ll refill it every two months (up to 3 times) for $120 without further examination.

      I’ve asked 3 different doctors for prescription help with weight loss and been told “no, not unless you have another illness for which a prescription’s side effects would be weight loss.” I still go to my primary care physician for check-ups and I tell them I’m taking phentermine, but this clinic has legitimately changed my life and you should look into whether something like this exists near you. Other “weight loss program clinics” charge $1,000+ for programs that include nutrition guidance, weekly weigh-ins, support groups and a weight loss drug prescription. If you need the extra help, those are there too, they’re just way more expensive and insurance does not cover them either.

      • Sydney Bristow

        I wasn’t having much luck with phentermine and my doc will prescribe it. I’ve paid out of pocket for that before and it wasn’t too much money. I have some sort of insulin-resistance issue with weight loss, which is where my newish medication helps. Unfortunately it’s too expensive to pay for out of pocket. Thanks for the suggestions though!

        • nona

          Have you pushed back/appealed with the insurance company? If they’ve only said no the once and you haven’t appealed, it could be worth a try.

          “If you pay for this now, you are saving actual-diabetic complication costs down the road, so I think you should make an exception. Here’s what my doctor says about me being a compliant patient and likely to have good results.”

          • Sydney Bristow

            It is a little complicated, but it is covered until at least the end of the year then might not be covered after that. I’ll appeal if it gets there. Thanks for the script!

        • Anonymous

          If you’re insulin-resistant are you pre-diabetic? Does being pre-diabetic qualify you for insurance covered-medication? I hate how you have to weasel these things.

          I wanted chem panels done to determine how my health stats were improving and the doctor had to put down “chronic fatigue” in order for insurance to pay for it. It’s ridiculous.

          • Sydney Bristow

            As far as I know, I’m not. The insulin resistance was determined via trial and error than through bloodwork. The last few times I’ve had blood work all my numbers were totally normal. Maybe I’ll wind up getting more comprehensive blood work done to determine that.

            It’s good your doctor was willing to do that for you! Such a pain to deal with, though.

    • laid off

      Got laid off last week. 6 weeks severance and it could be worse as I had a second interview on the day that they told me. They started calling references Monday. Still waiting to hear. Looking at other jobs too but halfheartedly. I’m venting but if any of you have spare prayers/good thoughts I’ll take them. Scared to be unemployed…

      • Anon

        Not all layoffs are devastating. When I was laid off, I interviewed for a job two days before my offical last day as an employee and had an offer within a week. Sending you good vibes.

  12. Chris

    Okay, I’m thinking (ever so slightly) about venturing into the world of online dating. I tried match once many, many years ago and it was awful. Does anyone have suggestions for which site to use? Should I even do it? I hate the idea of being that “out there” — last time I did it a co-worker came up and said “hey, i heard from so and so you are on match.” It was really embarrassing.

    • Sydney Bristow

      In my experience, the service you choose will depend highly on your area. My friends in the PNW had success on match and eharmony several years ago. I met my husband on OKCupid in NYC almost 5 years ago. It sounds like Tinder or Bumble may be more popular here now though.

      Can you give us your general location to give you more specific advice?

    • Shopaholic

      I think that online dating doesn’t have a stigma anymore – I’ve been online dating on and off for probably 5 years now and not once has anyone made a comment about it.

      That said, I think SB is right – it depends on where you are and your age I think.

      • nutella

        Agreed. Aziz Ansari’s book talks about this; you aren’t actually dating online (though I suppose you could), it is an online introduction tool and is so popular it has lost the stigma. It certainly does depend on what is popular in your area, so you should ask around, but I would say nearly everyone I know that didn’t marry their college sweetheart uses an app or s!te. As for anyone who recognizes you, they are on there too, right? For the same reasons? Let it go. By the way, years ago, my sister was embarrassed that she met her husband at a bar; how you find happiness is nothing to be embarrassed about.

        • Anonymous

          OP, Aziz Ansari’s book was HUGELY helpful for me when I started considering online dating. Read it! It’s very encouraging and hopeful.

        • January

          Yeah, on the “dating online” point.. look, some guys will only want to message back and forth endlessly without actually meeting up, but you can either ask them to meet up or drop it.

          It’s just a means of expanding your social horizons.

        • Ellen

          I would love to find a DECENT guy — be it in person, on line or thru the HIVE. All I find are loosers lookeing for me to have sex but NOT more. FOOEY on that. If I could find an ON LINE place that did NOT expect me to take my clothe’s off at the end of the date, I would try it. But men are VERY physical with me and assume that is all I want. DOUBEL FOOEY on men that think that about me.

    • Anonymous

      Everyone does it now. The best sites depend on a lot of things, but the free sites have many more users – try OkCupid and Tindr

    • Anonymous

      I just started venturing into it myself about a month ago, and I’ve had success with OKcupid. The apps like Tinder and Bumble don’t seem to be catching on in my city.

    • Anonymous

      Also, there is NOTHING embarrassing about meeting online. You need to let go of that stigma immediately.

      • nona

        +1 – I really hate seeing profiles that say “well I never thought it would come to this…”

      • Anonymous

        +1

        Why would it be embarrassing? If you can’t answer that question with a logical response, let go of the stigma post haste.

    • nona

      Just try it – it’s the easiest way to meet the most people.

      Match – eh. fine, but didn’t make a lot of connections
      Tindr – wasn’t impressed with the selection
      Bumble – Only started using it recently, but like it a bit better, because it forces a contact to happen quickly, if it’s going to happen at all
      eHarmony – a very curated experience that made me nutty. Did not like the selection
      OKCupid – a little better than Tindr, but eh.

    • Brunette Elle Woods

      I really like Bumble. It’s like Tinder, but once you connect the woman must initiate communication. I think it sets the tone of not taking **** from men or dealing with inappropriate messages. I just had a very good third date with someone I met on Bumble :)

    • AttiredAttorney

      I would suggest Bumble or Hinge. Both are supposed to be loosely based on third degree connections from facebook. So, you’re not supposed to see anyone you know, but you will get people who are roughly in the same social circle/circumstance but just have never run into in person.

    • Chris

      Thank you all for the responses! I am in the Northwest, and have heard of Tinder but not Bumble. Also, I just ordered Ansari’s book on Amazon. I think the reason I was embarrassed was that it was about 10 years ago, and there was a stigma about it, the tone of the comment was very condemning. I am glad it is different now! I think I’ll need lots of wine to calm the anxiety, and then I’m doing it! :)

      • ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

        Just want to add that online dating has become so ubiquitous that in my friend circles (late 20s/early 30s) if someone is single and wants a relationship, the attitude of their friends is more commonly “why AREN’T you using a dating app/site?” Totally normal to the point where it’s almost expected that you’re using them if you’re single. I won’t blink if someone says they are on Tinder but I’ll give them side eye if they complain about not being able to meet anyone but refuse to try online dating.

        • ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

          Also, good luck! Just because it’s common doesn’t mean it isn’t still intimidating. Good for you for giving it a shot.

      • Sydney Bristow

        Good luck! There’s a ton of great advice in the archives here. Definitely try a search for it and let us know how it goes.

  13. Risk Management???

    I am thinking on taking an ISO 31000 training by G31000. I don’t want to give much information not to out myself. I have been managing projects that are risk-related in the last few years, but I am no risk specialist. I want to open new doors in my career, so to speak, both because of the current downturn in my field and for personal reasons.

    Does anyone have experience working eith ISO 31000? I don’t really have specific questions, it’s more that I would like to know what kind of work you do, in which field you are and what certification/learning path you recommend.

    TIA!

  14. Hurricane Question

    Anyone have experience with cancelling/rebooking flights due to a hurricane (or any other natural disaster/systemwide reason)? We’re supposed to be traveling to Jacksonville, FL on Friday, but, well, it’s not looking good with Hurricane Matthew. We’d be flying on Delta and coming from a smaller market through Atlanta, on to Jacksonville. According to Delta, I can rebook, but does anyone know if it has to be the same flight path when you do? It would be for a family reunion type event, and if we don’t go this weekend, well, there’s not really a good reason to go. Just curious before I call and sit in telephone queues for hours trying to figure this all out. TIA!

    • Killer Kitten Heels

      In similar circumstances (traveling for a specific purpose, travel plans scuttled by hurricane) I was able to get JetBlue to issue me a refund in points instead of rebooking the particular flight – maybe see if Delta would be willing to do something similar?

    • Anonymous

      It doesn’t have to be the same flight path. The only exception is if you are trying to go from a one stop to a non stop, which they will not rebook. You will have more success moving your flight earlier, but often they will ground planes the day before a storm so the planes are located where needed to recover from the storm.

    • Flight rebooker

      Wildkitten is right–they’ll be able to tell you on the phone, and you should ask, because the usual rules may not apply. I’ve found that, when an airline has a huge disruption like this, they’re really focused on just getting everything handled and can be a little looser about fees, requirements, and the hoops they’d usually make you jump through. Plus, if they’re smart (sometimes yes, sometimes no, in my experience), they’ll recognize that handling your change now means that you won’t be an angry stranded person with an EMERGENCY need to get somewhere at the same time as all of the other angry stranded people.

  15. Workplace Woes

    Vent: I’m a legal aid attorney, and a client showed up unannounced today; no open case, worked with him previously. Wouldn’t’ tell our front desk why he was here, potentially being difficult (although that’s unclear). I was on the phone, in a meeting, as our front desk could see on our IM system. Front desk IMed my colleague, who IMed me because I was the last one to deal with this client. I said I’d deal with it but I was on the phone.

    One of our front desk staffers came back, however- friend of mine, but he’s a staffer and I’m an attorney- and told me client was at our front desk. I mouthed “Wait,” and then “He can wait,” and then “WAIT,” as I had also IMed the front desk. I try to get off the call, but the attorney I’m on the call with (another attorney in our office, although much more senior to me) reminded me that unannounced clients don’t get to dictate time and that they can wait. Which I agreed with.

    So, friend shows back up, and starts HUMMING THE JEOPARDY THEME SONG outside my office and making obscene hand gestures (not the bird. Much more obscene. I don’t know what he was doing). Obviously this is incredibly distracting, and now I’m incredibly flustered. Trying to not let that show on the call, but I’m sure it was obvious. Friend is saying “YOUR CLIENT IS HERE” and I finally wrote “Tell. Him. To. F-ing. Wait.” He said “Okay, okay!” and left. I was very frustrated- that client showed up unannounced, wouldn’t say why, and that I was being interrupted multiple times when I had made clear that the client could wait until I was done with my call. I looked super unprofessional to the other attorney and just felt foolish and embarrassed, which is not something I handle well.

    Got off call- client was sitting quietly in the lobby. And then he started yelling at me and I didn’t know how to handle it and I got even more flustered and frustrated. I eventually had to go get my supervisor to handle it because I was just completely floundering and the client was super upset. It’s not that I can’t handle it, but I didn’t handle this case originally, don’t know the details, and didn’t want to say something that wasn’t in the file. supervisor didn’t handle it either; person who handled it doesn’t work here anymore.

    After I got back to my desk, I told Friend “Thank you for handling that. When I’m on the phone though, and it’s unscheduled, clients can wait.” His reply was very terse and he’s now not making eye contact with me, which doesn’t bother me- his vast unprofessionalism, however, does. And making me look unprofessional also bothers me, immensely- I HATE being embarrassed, and I am. I emailed other attorney to explain and apologize but I still feel horribly bad and am trying not to cry. Client yelling didn’t help in the least, I also hate being yelled at- although I usually deal with it much more firmly than today, I was just so flustered and off once I even got to the client.

    Is this something I should bring up with him later? Should I just let it go? I’ve been trying to professionalize our relationship since I began as an actual attorney (we started as front desk (him), intern (me), and it wasn’t a problem, but now that he actually has to do things for me, he’s being very difficult). I don’t feel at all like it’s something that should go to his supervisor, I’d mention it to him first, but today really, really bothered me.

    • J

      That’s infuriating! So sorry you are dealing with it. I have a similar issue at work, but no real advice. *hugs*

    • Sydney Bristow

      When you got to the Jeopardy theme song portion I got very rage-y. That is so annoying! I have no idea how to handle it but I think you are completely justified in your frustration.

      • Workplace Woes

        I thought fire was going to shoot out of my eyes. I almost shut the door in his face but was just trying to make “Mmhmm, yeah, of course, yeah” sounds at the appropriate time on the call.

        And to clarify: I know exactly what the gestures were, I just don’t know WHY HE THOUGHT IT WAS OKAY. It wasn’t funny. It wasn’t appropriate. It was extremely unprofessional. He can be unprofessional, but this was beyond the pale for me. Do not pretend to be self-gardening outside my office, bro, while I am on the phone. It is not okay. It will never be okay.

        If it’s not clear, I’m STILL upset. Half an hour until I can gtfo of here and go home and watch Netflix.

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