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Suit of the Week: Donna Karan

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Corporette's Suit of the Week: Donna Karan Belted SuitFor busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional. Wow. Wow! This is just a gorgeous suit. Feminine but traditional, classic but interesting… gorgeous. I also love the white wrap (which is actually a bodysuit, joy) that it's styled with. My only complaint is the belt: why the grommets? But maybe I'd change it up for a more colorful leather belt, either in a patent skinny belt or a thicker, more corsety-y belt (the idea of matte burgundy leather appeals, for some reason). The jacket (Donna Karan Belted Wrap Jacket) is $$1895, and the skirt (Donna Karan Crushed Hem Pencil Skirt) is $850.
Donna Karan Belted Wrap Jacket Donna Karan Crushed Hem Pencil Skirt
(L-all)

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And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

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161 Comments

  1. I love the jacket on its own, but agree about the grommets. I don’t like the skirt. The ruffles on the bottom are too much for me, and I think the seaming is distracting. But, I think I’d like it on Alicia Florrick!

    2. I agree with AnonAttorney on the ruffel’s. I also LOVE the tv show with Alicia Florik – I think she won some Emmy’s for that role, but I also love what Ali McBeal wore when I was in high school, she was the one that made me say to Dad that I should be a lawyer! Unfortueanately, it was not until I went to law school that I realised that most female lawyers did NOT dress like that in court. I think that if we did, we could do alot better with the judge’s, tho. I know that the manageing partner want’s me to be as flashy as is legally permitted b/c he knows the WC judge from law school and he told the manageing partner (on an ex party basis) that he was very partial to my leg’s!

      Anyway, I am goeing to NYSC tonite to work out. Last nite I stayed in and had pizza and sausages with Myrna and I am VERY bloated. Sam wanted to come also but I said there was NOT enough room for him. He said we could have a private party this week. I have to tell dad to call that guy off. Myrna says that he can smell blood in the water, and I do NOT want to be thought of as bait. FOOEY!

      Now I have to prepare the new guy to work on some case’s. The manageing partner wants for him to be abel to make general apearances in court for me some times, but I am not sure I want to give that up b/c I get time OUT of the office and I go some times afterward to Century 21 downtown and would NOT have that oportunity if Mason is doeing some of my motion practise. DOUBEL FOOEY!

    3. Yes, pretty in theory but better on Alicia than on me.

      I have to say that Wednesdays are my favorite here on thissite because it’s suit day.

    5. I agree that the jacket alone could be cute, but I am really, really not feeling the belt or skirt.

      1. Agreed. I don’t like the belt (the ties look like they’d get in the way) or the ruffles on the skirt. But the jacket is pretty!

    6. I love everything about this suit except the ruffle at the bottom. I even like the belt and the shirt that the suit is styled with. Nice spin on a classic suit.

  2. I’m cold and grumpy and fantasizing about hoping a plane out of NY to Cali for good. Please contribute to my delusion by giving me anecdotes from any of you who’ve hopped coasts (will I be able to trade hurricanes for earthquakes? Get to wear jeans to my law firm on Fridays?). Or feel free to just squash my delusion by reminding me how much I don’t want to take the Cali bar…before I sell my apartment trade my snow boots for bathing suits. (Serious/non serious replies welcome!)

    1. Haha I jumped the other way 4 years ago from Oregon to NYC. Whenever its cold and snowy like this I’m not quite sure I remember my reasons for doing so. I’m not cut out for this weather. Give me gray drizzly 50 degree days and I’m fine. Super cold and snow or hot and humid and I’m a bit of a mess.

      1. I was borne and bred here and I’m just now realizing having ALWAYS hated winter, I’m having trouble coming up with reasons to stay somewhere I’m miserable 6 months a year just because “I’m a New Yorker!” Oh to be a rich bicoastal celebrity and come and go at will….

        1. +76bajillion. There are things about NY i miss so much, I daydream about being bicoastal just because i want to. Siigghhhhhh

      2. oopss!!! moderation! ;o)

        I LOVE California, am many-generations Californian and love the weather so much I want to marry it. But one thing i haven’t seen mentioned: moving here after being in NYC for a few years, two words: The Subway. Getting around in SF or in LA is much more of a pain in the a$$ than in the NYC area. Don’t have an awesome subway, you really need a car in most places, except for a very limited area in SF proper, and traffic is horrible. Just something to keep in mind, the transition from NYC to CA is not *all* sunshine and unicorns p00ping rainbows… just mostly ;o)

        1. Hmm, this is valid. I definitely don’t missing owning and taking care of a car at all. Or paying for gas. I do need a devils advocate here so I don’t just turn in my resignation and run. They just started hyping more snow this weekend :(

          1. also picture crushing, slow, bumper-to-bumper traffic.. and not just at rush hour. And having to watch how much you drink when you go out at night because you have to drive yourself home, no way your catching a subway before it closes. And if you’re in SF, forget getting a cab when it’s pouring rain. In fact, forget getting a cab when you want one EVER, and get used to Uber.

            oh, and get ready to miss bagels, good pizza and garlic knots

        2. Oh my goodness yes. As much as the MTA can be a pain sometimes I vastly prefer it to owning a car.

        3. I am considering moving to SF. I will be seeking your wisdom should this become a reality.

      3. Ha, I couldn’t take 45 and raining anymore – great in the winter, but wearing wool socks in June broke my soul…

        1. Hmm, you must have lived in a different part of Oregon than where I’ve spent 20 years of my life . . .

    2. Come on out!! We have earthquake insurance, and don’t live in the middle of any high rises or anything like that, so earthquakes are ok.

      I’m not longer at a law firm, but working at one was probably not that different…we did get to wear jeans on Friday, though! Now I’m in-house at an architecture firm, and I can pretty much wear jeans whenever I want! Also, hiking on the weekends all winter, and it might be warm enough for the beach this weekend…

      The CA bar wasn’t so bad. Just follow the Bar Bri instructions…I’m such an enabler!

      1. Jeans AND the beach?! I have such faint memories of what either of those look like….

    3. I’ve been in California for about 5 years and have yet to feel an earthquake. In the bay area, everyone wears jeans on Fridays and I know plenty of lawyers who wear them all week. I also don’t think the California bar is as crazy as its made out to be – granted, its the only one I’ve taken but other than the fact that its 3 days instead of 2 it doesn’t seem that different. On the other hand, I feel like I don’t really take advantage of the good weather very much. Except in the summer, its dark when I leave work and on weekends I find I’m usually too exhausted to do much in the way of outside stuff. Other than occasional weekend trips to Yosemite, Tahoe, etc I might as well be somewhere else. Also I think its harder to work long hours when its 70 and sunny than when its snowy or rainy. The cost of living here is insane (that’s my biggest complaint about CA). But its probably still lower than NYC.

      1. Meh, I don’t even need to actively do outside things at this point I’d settle for not having to dress like I’m going into battle just to go from point A to B.

    4. Come join us! In my West Coast city you can practice law at a prestigious local firm and average 1800 billables and still get a bonus. You can wear jeans on Friday or even all week during certain times of the year. There’s no snow in the winter and it rarely gets above 90 in the summer. Seriously, life’s not bad, not bad at all.*

      *Our theater kind of sucks. But our food is super tasty.

        1. I do miss great pizza on every corner, and cheesesteaks, and good bagels. There are no good bagels in my city.

      4. I think I’m in the same west coast city. I have a pretty great job but for the amount of experience I have (~3 years), I’m pretty much at the top of the local legal pay spectrum save one or two firms (which are difficult to break into). I do well for myself, but it’s nothing compared to prestigious firms in other markets. Luckily I grew up here and have a rich built-in network, which is essential to doing anything here. I’ve seen many well-qualified colleagues struggle without it. The food is super tasty though. And the summers are sublime!

    6. I LOVE California, am many-generations Californian and love the weather so much I want to marry it. But one thing i haven’t seen mentioned: moving here after being in NYC for a few years, two words: The Subway. Getting around in SF or in LA is much more of a pain in the a$$ than in the NYC area. Don’t have an awesome subway, you really need a car in most places, except for a very limited area in SF proper, and traffic is horrible. Just something to keep in mind, the transition from NYC to CA is not *all* sunshine and unicorns pooping rainbows… just mostly ;o)

      1. That’s true – public transportation is AWFUL. I actually live where I could commute on the subway to work (Burbank to Downtown LA) but won’t because it doesn’t feel particularly safe to me at night, and they don’t keep it very clean. Since it only saves me 5 minutes…I don’t do it.

    7. sorry…I’m no help…I moved from Ottawa to the Bay Area a couple years ago and will never look back. The only thing I would say/generalize is that the people I’ve met here are less friendly and more out for themselves than in Ottawa, but can’t speak to NYC.

    8. I didn’t move here from NYC, but it’s currently 72 and sunny out here in LA! And I went to the beach over the weekend. But you do pretty much need to own a car to get around.

    9. Southwest Florida is the place to be. It has been cold by our standards; lows in the 40’s highs in the 60’s or 70’s. Don’t know what the lawyers wear but the rest of us are very casual dressers, business casual is dressy here.

      We have warning before the hurricanes hit.

    10. Native Chicagoan, turned Angeleno here. I don’t think I could ever go back! I felt just like you–I was so into being a “Chicagoan” and I absolutely love that city, but after struggling through winter after winter (with gray, frigid day after gray, frigid day) I came to the realization that it wasn’t worth living my life that way. I also think I may have had a case of SAD, so the winter really hit me hard every year.

      Yes, the CA bar was no fun. But if you took NY I don’t think it’s much harder (compared to IL it was nightmarish, but doable). I did take 2 months off of work to study. The other thing to think about (unless you can transfer within your firm) is that many firms won’t even look at your resume until you’ve passed the CA bar.

      Yes, work is much more casual here. Jeans on Fridays, and not much fancier than that the rest of the week. People (at least in my firm) seem to care about quality of life a lot more. Everyone is very active (stereotype, but true).

      As others have mentioned, it can be hard to convince yourself to work as hard as you need to when it’s so nice out all the time… but after a while you get used to it and realize that the work just has to get done if you want to enjoy your weekends in the beautiful weather! The biggest downside to me is, as others have mentioned, lack of public transportation. LA is working on that, but it will still be many, many years before anything close to replacing cars for the majority of the population will exist.

      For me, the biggest thing is seeing the sun (almost) every day. In Chicago, the first thing I would do each day would be to look at the weather report, hoping for some light at the end of the winter tunnel, and seeing no such light would get me so down. Or, when they did promise light, and then the forecast changed at the last minute, I would get completely and irrationally upset. Here, it is beautiful every day. Those old feelings are gone. My biggest problem is that I can’t really feel the passage of time/have lost my old sense of categorizing memories based on the weather–a very strange phenomenon!

    11. I’m a native Californian that has been living in NYC for the past almost-decade. I love both places with all my heart (and every February, I curse winter and start planning my return to CA). However, if you really want to be talked out of moving to CA, here are a few things to consider:

      – You’d have to buy a car (this is not universally true, but almost entirely true). It’s one thing to “get” to drive, but “having” to drive places is a pain. Traffic is a pain. Finding parking is a pain. Having to find someone to be your designated driver is a pain. Taxis are not a thing, not even in most cities. Uber is changing this in some areas but it’s not cheap.

      – CA always seemed much more segregated along cultural/racial and class lines. Again, maybe not entirely true in LA or certain other urban areas (or in, say, the context of a university), but it’s just nothing compared to the parade of humanity you see in NYC every day.

      – Crimewise, many areas are much, much worse than NYC. Unexpected places, too, which can really take a New Yorker by surprise.

      – You may find you get unexpectedly edgy when strangers want to chat you up and have harmless polite conversation.

      – In the summers, it gets cold at night. (Some view this as a plus).

      Obviously NYC has a list of cons as well. Let’s also not forget that Californians and New Yorkers are probably the only 2 sets of people with an equally obnoxious and unshakable conviction that they “could never live anywhere else!!”

      Oh, for a bicoastal lifestyle…I should really go visit CA soon. Miss it terribly.

    12. I just relocated from NYC to the Bay Area. It’s mostly awesome, but there are a few impediments:

      1) It is really expensive. Real estate is horrible, and there’s much more pressure to have things like a nice car and nice house. I feel like in NYC, it’s more accepted to live in a divey apartment.

      2) Restaurants in NYC are so much better. It’s partly the food and mostly the service.

      3) I miss feeling like I lived in the middle of everything. It’s weird to flick on the Today Show and realize that it was filmed three hours ago. And media, in general, is really NYC-centric.

      4) People in New York are, I think, friendlier.

      But I really do love it out here. The bar exam is not so bad, and having sunlight year-round has been a lifechanger. In general, it’s just a much easier life.

    13. Hmm… I live 1/2 mile from the beach. Not sure that’s what you’re looking for. Also, it’s been too hot out. ;)

    14. FYI, California is officially in a drought … hope you like short showers. ;)

    15. I am SO with you. In fact, I’m currently in the process of planning/applying to go back to school and completely change my career (I’m not a lawyer currently and that’s not my future plan). Leaving NY is absolutely a perk that comes with this decision- and my career change helped me convinve my SO to move with me.

      For me though, I would literally move anywhere. I’m originally a southerner, but I don’t know if there’s anyone that dislikes NY quite as much as I do at this point… although I think I’m forgetting about all of the good stuff and focusing only on how crazy expensive it is, how many people there are, and how there is no nature. Goodness, I can’t wait to move.

  3. There’s a coffee shop a couple of blocks from my apartment and I’ve decided it’d be the perfect place to post up on the weekends to get some work done. It’s a local place and I want to make sure my manners are in place. How much should one spend at a coffee shop when one plans on being there for an afternoon?

    1. If I’m going to be there for the whole afternoon, I buy something on at least two different occasions. A coffee to start. A tea later. Or a scone. And I overtip like crazy. I would probably buy more things if I made more money ;o) If I am really there for several hours and didn’t spend that much, i leave a $5 in the tip jar on my way out.

      1. That’s what I thought. Especially the part about making more money so I could spend more. I’ll make an effort to be very nice and tip well.

      2. I was having this debate with friends yesterday. I feel like 1 drink buys you 60 minute, drink + snack, 90. It does really depend on the crowds though.

        There is a new coffee shop in London that charges per minute and drinks / snacks are free. I’m kind of loving the idea of this.

    2. Depends on how busy it is. If there are empty tables/chairs, you can feel comfortable with a cheap drink every two to three hours, but if it’s busy and people are actively looking for somewhere to sit, I wouldn’t monopolize a table for longer than 45 minutes per drink. Unlike in restaurants, staff don’t directly make less money is someone can’t find a seat, because they’ve usually already bought a drink by then, so it’s less of an issue. The consideration here is to be polite to your fellow customers.

      1. +1 to this. Good friends of mine own a coffee shop, and they had to start turning off the wi-fi on the weekends because it is too busy and too many people were monopolizing table space for the whole day with only minimal purchases. As long as you are watching your surroundings and not preventing the establishment from getting business, then I think it is fine to camp out and only buy a few different things.

        1. My favorite coffee shop gives you a wifi code that works for a specific amount of time (longer on weekdays, shorter on weekends) with every purchase. That way I know exactly how long I can hang out per beverage. But I prefer crass over awkward…

    3. I think you should also be cognizant of whether there are other customers milling around and waiting for tables. If all the tables are full and people are still coming in, I personally think it’s rude to continue to linger at a table for hours. The shop is probably losing business from people coming in and wanting to sit for coffee or food with a friend, seeing there are no tables available, and going elsewhere.

      I’m not sure if this is a controversial opinion or not — I’ll be interested in whether others have the same take.

      1. +1 – completely agree. I think it’s fine to linger in a relatively empty place, but if it’s busy, it’s the rudest thing ever both to the business and to other customers.

      2. yeah, i think that’s a KYN issue: Know Your Neighborhood. I live in hipster central, so every coffee shop in the entire city is filled with people using laptops and working for hours and hours, and people just wait for somewhere to sit, so I really don’t feel any guilt about hanging out for a long time, as long as I am giving them some cash.

      3. I feel that way. I have left coffee shops without buying anything because there is no place to sit. There is one local place I refuse to patronize at all because they have said that people taking up tables to work is ok with them even if it means that some customers need to take their coffee to go. That just makes me feel like they don’t need my business.

        I think it’s most likely a minority opinion.

    4. I was a barista through college and for a shorter stint post-grad, between two positions, so I’ll bite! Personally, I can only think of 1-2 customers in my multiple years of coffee shop experience who I was p!ssed to see stay at a table. These are the things they had in common: 1) being stingy tippers; 2) being stingy tippers; 3) being stingy tippers; and 4) repeatedly staying after closing, like after we’d locked the doors and put all the furniture on all the other tables and shut down all the machines and given them multiple “Hey, we’re closing!” notices. And I will note that all of that could have magically been erased if they’d tipped well and been pleasant human beings.

      With that said, if you want to be an A+ customer: tip a minimum of $1 on all beverages (increase for complexity of drink; personally, I don’t typically tip for tea and drip coffee, but do for anything involving espresso or steamed milk) and order a snack or second drink if you’ve been sitting there for over two hours. But even more than that…just be nice. Be a pleasant human being. Act like the people who work at your coffee shop are also you know, people.

      1. Oh, and of course, YMMV. I’ve heard of coffee shops where people get snippy if you occupy a table for too long, but I don’t think I’ve ever actually been to one (and I have barista-anger spidey sense, so I think I’d know). If you’re super-worried, just order multiple things and offer to share your table with another singleton, which is never as awkward as you’re afraid it’s going to be.

  4. Drawing on the emergency fund conversation…. Opinions please? If I wipe out pretty much all my savings, I can get all my student loans to 4 digits, and pay those off in a few months. I’m in biglaw, single, have no kids, etc. If something terrible happened, I know that my parents would help me out. Also, once I pay off the loans, presumably my savings would re-accumulate quickly with my salary and no more loan obligations. I guess the other way to look at it, is at what point do you just go for it on paying off the student loans/how little money in the bank would make you too uncomfortable?

    1. Can you split the difference and make the bit payment in 6 months? Or pay in big chunks so you’re down to 4 digits in 6 months?

      You get some serious big-girl pants points from not having the bank of mom & dad as your backup. 2009 wasn’t that long ago and if you make this a 2014 goal, you’ll accomplish it by NYE? Why risk it when you don’t have to? It doesn’t have to be all or nothing.

      1. I am in favor of self-sufficiency, but I don’t think it’s wrong to take money from one’s parents in an emergency. Many parents want to help a hard-working child who has lost a job or suffered some other setback.

        That doesn’t mean that one shouldn’t create an emergency fund, but that if one isn’t in a position to do so, not to take crazy steps as long as one has parents as a backup. Many parents would be horrified if their child took out a risky loan, or took in a risky tenant, or stopped eating properly because they wanted to show they were a “big girl” by not taking money.

    2. Can’t you do both? Devote more money to loans without completely wiping out savings? Or set goals — e.g., every quarter pay off one loan?

    3. Playing with a loan payoff calculator helped me decide how to proceed in this situation–you might save a lot less in interest than you’re anticipating (or maybe a lot more). Manipulate your monthly payment and see what happens. I decided to increase my monthly payment toward the loans and stop contributing to my “emergency fund” which is already substantial (as in, I could almost wipe out my student debt if I contributed all my savings to it). The increased monthly payment actually saved more money in interest than, say, a one-time large payment. I am uncomfortable wiping out the emergency fund because I would be in deep trouble if I needed it and didn’t have it.

    4. Yeah you’re all right. There’s no reason I can’t do both, I just finally did some math and realized how close I am and JUST WANT TO PAY THEM OFF (sorry for the Ellen caps). Just need to be patient…. Which is not one of my best qualities :)
      And as far as the parent thing goes – it’s not that I rely on them, but we had a talk a long time ago that I should prioritize the loans, and try to get out from paying the interest as quickly as possible, while keeping reasonable savings (and maxing out my 401K, etc.), but not be too concerned about the emergency fund. I would want to do the same for my children one day if I could not fully fund their education as well.

    5. I would leave a solid amount in your savings (maybe $5K) but wipe out the rest and pay off your student loans.

      I’m probably in a similar position – that my parents could help me if it was a true emergency but I would prefer to have some funds available for a mini-emergency before I went to them.

    6. I didn’t want to do what no more harvard debt guy did (which was to wipe out savings including his retirement which meant paying a penalty). But I did wipe out my extra cash every few months last year to kill one loan. First I had to get comfortable with only 10k cushion, then 5k, then 2k but I’m back at 10k again and wondering if I should throw it at another loan, but also know that I have large expenses coming up this year so am reminding myself to be patient.

      If by “savings’ you mean extra cash and not your 401k/IRA, I’d go for it, esp since you’re in big law, but that also depends on your interest rate.

      It also helps with not feeling flush enough to purchase a new computer just because your old one is feeling slow.

    7. I think a lot depends on the exact details: interest rates, the time without the emergency fund, how much you can save per month, stability of job.
      We made the decision to go without an emergency fund for about 4 weeks in order to pay off our last debt. We don’t regret the decision but looking back it was kind of silly. Waiting an extra month to pay off the last debt wouldn’t have mattered in the grand scheme of our finances.

      1. I think the decision factor here should be your student loan interest rate. If it’s under 4% or so, then there’s not much point financially in paying it off, because the interest rate may be less than inflation. Financially it may be better to have savings than pay off a close-to-free loan. (There may be a psychological reason, of course, and determining how important that is is your decision.)

    8. When I paid mine off, I depleted my bank account to $7k. I was moving at the same time so it was a little nerve racking for a few weeks. But I save around $5k per month, so I was back to a position where I felt comfortable pretty quickly. The feeling of paying off law school loans is amazing!

  5. Wedding TJ:
    I live in a small town that doesn’t have any stores. We have WalMart and grocery stores, but not department stores or specialty stores, and we’re not really a close drive to any large center either. I would like to register at a nice department store for our wedding, but it would mean guests would have to buy gifts online and have them shipped either to them or to us. We won’t be able to avail of a pickup in store option because of our distance. Is it rude/inconvenient to register at a store that isn’t local knowing people will have to buy gifts online? Our other option is to just not have a registry. I don’t know what’s worse.
    Thanks guys!

    1. As a wedding guest attendee I’ve always preferred it when the couple has a registry. I also almost always order online and have it shipped directly. I didn’t even know that having the couple pick it up was an option. You might run it past some of your older generation guests to make sure but I think it’s fine.

    2. For the older generation or people who want a gift for a shower, is there not a jewelry store or gifty home store in tour town that carries the traditional china/silver registry items (or at least orders them)? You can always register there and then register at a bigger department store. I’m from the South so perhaps that is more common here.

    3. I tried really hard to make sure that there were local options available to our guests, and nearly everyone (across all ages and urban/rural) bought online anyway. And that was six years ago. I can only imagine that online shopping is more prevalent now.

      Consider setting up a registry at Amazon in addition to a traditional registry store. Most gifts will meet the free-shipping minimum and many people have prime.

      2. +1 I believe you can also register on Amazon for things sold on other sites. A friend did that last year for her wedding and it worked quite well.

        1. You can – I use an Amazon wish list in place of shopping (all the retail therapy, none of the clutter or spending)

          1. Me too. It lets me put something in my cart but then wait a few days to see if I really want it.

      3. I am registered only at Amazon and I love it. I think my guests will too based on the few people I told plus I am moving right after the wedding so it’s easier to ship to the groom’s location than mine. I figure for those people who don’t shop online they will buy whatever they want from a brick and mortar store and I will just be grateful.

    4. Maybe it’s geographic, but in my southern/western town (big city in Texas), I vastly prefer registries where I can purchase a gift online and have it shipped to the couple. I don’t remember the last time that I went to a store, pulled a registry, and purchased the gift there. I agree that maybe the older generation guests won’t be used to it, but my older-generation guests didn’t even buy from our registry, anyway.

    5. I second the opinion to have an online registry. Even if people don’t buy from it, it gives them a sense of your style and taste (without it, you might end up with some *special* gifts). I don’t think guests would be put off needing to order from online establishments, and far-flung guests would be especially thankful that they won’t need to schlep your gift with them (or mail it separately). Admittedly, clicking to do your registry isn’t as fun as using that scanning gun, but it’s still fun :)

    6. Can you do both? I’m also from a very small town, and there is a hardware store in town that carries housewares and many people register there so that people who want to buy locally have an option. But I don’t think it’s rude to also have an online registry at Crate & Barrel or Macy’s or a place like that.

    7. As a gift giver, I prefer to have an online registry where I can choose a gift and have it sent directly to you. Much more convenient for me than going to a physical store. If people don’t buy you a gift they also have the option of bringing cash to the actual wedding.

      I got married 15 yrs ago, but I do recall it was fun coming home to gifts people had ordered us from our registry. Also, it was less stuff to pack up and carry home after the wedding.

      Not sure how big your Wal-Mart is, but they might have registry options. If so, you could register for basic household things – towels, sheets, utensils, storage options. Mine even has a decent selection of cookware.

    8. Where I live, 95% of couples register at more than one store. And for about 70% of those couples, one of those two/three stores is Wal-Mart (the other popular choices are Target and Bed, Bath, and Beyond). I’d go ahead and make an online registry at the department store of your choice, but put together a small registry at Wal-Mart (even if you want fancier housewares, Wal-Mart has things like cleaning equipment/supplies, movies and games, pantry staples, and, like Sparrow says, storage/organization helps). Then the older people in town (like my 60-something-year-old in-laws who refuse to buy anything online because they’re worried about identity theft) will be able to get you something you actually want.

      1. +1 I think everyone 60 and younger bought our wedding gifts online and had them shipped, but ALL of the older ones went to the store. I think older guests might be put out and frustrated if they can’t buy in person (a couple of our oldest guests weren’t up to going out to the store themselves and so insisted that younger relatives go to the store and buy the items in person for them — even though those younger relatives had all bought their gifts online!)

    9. I’m a bit late to this discussion, but you should register at a local store. Yes, even if that store is Walmart. That doesn’t mean you can’t register at other, more upscale stores, but many older people will want to buy in person. You should also have a range of prices for people of different means. You’ll end up returning a lot anyway (Bed Bath and Beyond is the best for this, they’re supposed to do gift cards for returns without receipts, but we talked them into cash.).

      1. I’m also late to this discussion, but some friends of mine who were married last November registered through myregistry.com and from a guest perspective, it was awesome. The site allows you to include items from multiple stores. Guests could either order through various websites or if you went to an actual store then you could still go their registry and mark that you had purchased one of the gifts.

        They also registered for some neat items: camping equipment, games, etc. Those are all items that could easily be purchased at a place like Walmart.

  6. If anyone is up for a shopping challenge…I am looking to spruce up my work wardrobe and am looking for some classic dresses. I have $750 to spend at Bloomies. What should I get? Dresses that work well for me in the past include wrap dresses, the black halo jackie sheath, the suzi chin faux wrap dress and a bunch from J. Crew, but for now I’m limited to Bloomingdales.

    1. Elie Tahari dresses are classic and great quality. They don’t fit me well (hourglass/pear) but the Tahari brand does (the cheaper brand).

      Also, David Meister is great (some dresses are too dressy for work, but he does have some work appropriate dresses sometimes)

    2. I get almost all of my work dresses at Bloomingdale’s. The brands I like are Elie Tahari, Rebecca Taylor, Hugo Boss Black, Theory and Diane von Furstenberg. I think $750 would get you 3 dresses (maybe four if you hit the sale racks) from these lines. For reference, I am petite and my figure is pretty straight up-and-down.

        1. And these JNY dresses:
          http://www1.bloomingdales.com/shop/product/jones-new-york-collection-stripe-sleeveless-dress?ID=894583&CategoryID=3985&LinkType=#fn=DRESS_OCCASION%3DWork%26WOMENS_APPAREL_TYPE%3DDresses%26spp%3D24%26ppp%3D96%26sp%3D1%26rid%3D95%26spc%3D222 (would look really cute in the summer)

          and

          http://www1.bloomingdales.com/shop/product/jones-new-york-collection-sleeveless-houndstooth-dress?ID=888738&CategoryID=3985&LinkType=#fn=DRESS_OCCASION%3DWork%26WOMENS_APPAREL_TYPE%3DDresses%26spp%3D29%26ppp%3D96%26sp%3D1%26rid%3D95%26spc%3D222 (I’d wear a silk blouse under or a long cardigan over)

    4. If I were you, I’d buy 2-3 classics from Boss or Lafayette with that money. They’ll last years and never go out of style. You might get 4-5 if you find them on sale.

      All too often in the past, I’ve gone for quantity over quality, and then rarely worn them/had to return them.

  7. Do you guys have any favorite strength training routines/tips for getting into a program? I’m looking to add in some strength training – maybe half an hour a few times a week, but am having a hard time getting started. I’m thinking more body weight/dumbbell exercises over machines. Thanks in advance!

    1. I am using the “You Are Your Own Gym” app that was recommended here a few weeks ago. It’s all bodyweight type exercises so you can do it at home.

    2. I like the schedule of workouts that the New Rules of Lifting (for Women, since that’s the book that I have). It’s all dumbbell work or using your own weight. I think the first set of workouts takes about 6 weeks, 20 to 30 minutes a day.

    3. Check out the book and app You Are Your Own Gym for bodyweight workouts. The website Nerd Fitness has also been extremely helpful for me.

    4. Pilates with a good instructor. Check the Romana Pilates and Classical Pilates registries online.

    5. If you can work out at home, I love the Jillian Michaels workouts. If you are looking for something in a group setting, I highly recommend Bodypump classes. Although I found they got boring after a few months, I think they are the #1 way to build a foundation and teach you good form, as you repeat basic exercises targeting every single muscle group.

      1. +1 to both recommendations. I do Jillian Michaels workouts at home when I am feeling “lazy” but I love body pump on days when I want to go to the gym because it actually gets me to do weight training where as I know that if I just walked into the weight room I would never get myself motivated. I also like body pump because they teach you the right form for the exercises which I know I would be missing if I just tried to do it by myself. Plus, form is important when using weights because bad form is a one way ticket to hurting yourself…

    6. I love Blogilates (google it). The instructor, Cassey, can be a little overly-perky, but she puts together really great workouts that you can do at home with minimal/no equipment.

    7. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Encyclopedia of Modern Bodybuilding. Seriously. I’m a big weights evangelist and I hate how intimidated so many people get by them. Being strong is awesome. It’s a great book and pretty approachable, save the parts about preparing for competition and dealing with publicists. All books need a little humor though, right? It’s very informative and will help you develop a strength routine independent of machines.

      Another great resistance/cardio workout that I do when I feel too lazy to go to the gym uses a medicine ball, which are great to have around. I have 2, 4, and 6 kg balls and this workout reliably kicks my butt: http://www.menshealth.com/fitness/ultimate-medicine-ball-workout

      I have Sworkit pro on my iPad and really like it for interval training. Some of the push up variations are very difficult.

    1. No, 31 is not too old to start law school, but I feel like it’s pretty difficult to go straight to an in-house job so do some market research on your area and your potential schools. At least sit for the LSAT and find out what your options are as far as law schools, costs, and post-grad employment opportunities. If you’re currently gainfully employed and reasonably happy, I would discourage law school unless you can get into a good school or get a great scholarship (or both!). I’m sure others will have opinions too…!

    3. It depends. What have you been doing for the past several years? Why do you want to go to law school? Why do you want to go now?

    4. Agree with everyone else. It isn’t unreasonably old, but almost no one works in-house straight out of law school. You should work at a firm first to get training, and those jobs are hard to get nowdays – not to mention that they take over your life.

      1. We had an amazon registry, and you can add things that Amazon doesn’t carry. So like, we had links to a duvet set at Bed Bath and Beyond or whatever, linked on the Amazon list. It’s called their Universal Registry.

        We also did a local store, in an area similar to yours, but most guests preferred to shop online.

      2. Crap. Wrong thread.

        I also wanted to say, on this thread, that there aren’t as many lawyer jobs as there were a few years ago, so think seriously about what would happen if you get out of school and had $100k in debt and no job.

      3. Agreed. Depending on what you want to do, you might have to gain about 5 or so years of law firm experience before you would seriously be considered for an in-house position.

    5. I am 34 and a 1L this year at a good school. I worked as a paralegal for many years, but could not attend school until now. Before being a paralegal, I tried a few other things, and I found that I really, really like law. I understand the debt. I understand the legal market. I wanted to attend law school anyway. I was tired of teaching junior associates and getting paid half of what they got. If you have seen Suits, I was Megan.

      Generally, my classmates are great. Sometimes I realize funny things, like I was in high school when they were in grade school. My professor last week calculated that my classmates who went straight thru were born in 1991. I was born in 1979. Generally, I don’t want to go clubbing with them. Bar reviews at my school are mainly clubs. No thank you. Other times, I feel very much like I am “in it but not of it” and I kinda wish I were invited, even though I’d probably say no.

      There are a lot of really funny things. Like the leaders of the clubs I am in are really clueless at how to run a meeting, or give a talk, or generally, just lead. I am older than one of my professors.

      But I do not regret it. Based on my experience, it would be quite rare for an attorney to go directly in-house. Sometimes people do a year or two at a firm and just HATE it, and go in-house as juniors. But that also caps their salary pretty significantly relative to attorneys who lateral as mid-senior levels. Last, I have a ton of friends in Silicon Valley, and getting in-house jobs recently has been very competitive–some of them were searching for several months (which is ages in Silicon Valley-time).

    6. I started law school at 34, with a 5 year old and new baby and it all worked out fine. I spent about 3 years at a big firm in my mid-sized city and moved in-house. Admittedly this was a number of years ago so my experience may not reflect the current job market. The only problem I had with waiting so long to go to school was that I had been away from academia for so long that it took me nearly a semester to get back into study/learning mode. I totally encourage you to go. If it doesn’t work out, at least you’ll know; otherwise, you may spend the rest of your life wondering “what if.”

  9. I suspect I’m going to lose my job soon. My review was terrible and I haven’t been able to get enough work to make my billable hours since returning from maternity leave. Other than applying for jobs and having lunch with everyone I know, what else should I be doing? Is there such a thing as unemployment insurance or something like that?

    Luckily H is doing very well at his job, but he only brings home about 35% of our income. Assuming my student loans go into deferral and we cut all unnecessary expenses, we can almost make it on his salary but with no breathing room. I’m so depressed over the situation. I never expected to fail as an attorney quite this spectacularly.

    1. First, congratulations on your baby! Second, I’m sorry you’re going through this. Third, this is not about you — you’re not failing as an attorney. The behind-the-scenes action about who gets work can be devastating. This is about your firm failing to reincorporate you after your maternity leave, for whatever reason. If you hate being an attorney, then absolutely take this as an opportunity to leave the practice of law or leave the law firm life, or whatever! But if you enjoy(ed) your job (when you had enough work to do), find a new firm and go kick a$$. Hugs.

    2. I think I’m in the same boat as you – when I read what you wrote, it was like all the puzzle pieces on why I am suddenly failing clicked into place.

      I’m very interested on what others have to say about this. I almost feel like this should be a main Post – “what to do when the writing is on the wall – financially, professionally, personally”.

      1. I really think it should be its own post – please forward it on to Kat. I think people will have oodles of good advice. One thing I think of – make sure you’ve printed out all of your contacts from Outlook. If you are let go, you might not get to access your computer again.

        And also, Toffee, please know you are not failing at your job. I agree with preg 3L – it sounds like for whatever reason, your firm hasn’t been good about putting you back in the work rotation. Just curious, has this happened with other attorneys back from maternity/paternity leave?

      2. Same here, because I’m right there with you Toffee and anon for this (though without the maternity leave) …

      3. +1

        I just left a job I really liked for the most part because I saw writing on the wall. I do like where I ended up, but still a bit sad about what I left behind, since I felt I had little choice. At least I did leave on my terms, not forced out – but that’s because I did what my gut told me had to be done.

    3. I just want to tell you a story about a classmate of mine from law school. She was laid off/fired from our BigLaw firm while on maternity leave many many years ago, but bounced back and has had an incredible career in academia. This is only one chapter in a very long book. And it is nothing about you as a person.

      XXX OOO

    4. There is something called “unemployment insurance.” It’s the same as when you hear people are “collecting unemployment.” Your employer pays into it, you don’t have to buy it ahead of time.

    5. You haven’t failed as an attorney. You got a bad review and have low hours. Unless your bad review was based on a series of serious mistakes, it probably says more about the economic climate of your firm and law firms in general than your own skill set. If you really think your runway at the firm is short, you don’t lose anything by talking to partners about finding another opportunity. Aside from what you’re already doing, make sure you’re cutting back unnecessary expenses now so you don’t feel as if you need to turn down a promissing opportunity because of a pay cut.

      Once you have a new job, take the review out of the drawer you’ve stuffed it in and give it a good read through. Try to take the constructive criticism and think about what you can do differently in the future, and then let it go.

    6. Thanks, everyone. It feels personal since they were very careful to find legitimate reasons for the bad review. Unfortunately, I’m having a hard time denying their reasons and really do not think I’m good at this area of law. I’ve had a couple of interviews that seemingly went very well, so I’m baffled as to why I didn’t get the positions. At those rejections to the bad review and my ego has taken a hit. Objectively, I keep telling myself that no woman has stayed at this firm for very long, but it’s hard to keep perspective right now.

      1. You did not fail! Every associate makes mistakes. Law school does’t really prepare you for the practice of law and most partners/law firms are not good at training. The expectation, is crazy is it seems, is to learn by making mistakes. If every associate that made legitimate errors was fired, no one would ever make partner.

        I find your comment that no women has stayed at the firm for long more telling, especially when combined with the fact that your problems with getting work are worse after maternity leave. Is it possible that it may have more to do with the fact that you’r a women (with kids) and that they may not have given a guy such a review? Even with true, that probably doesn’t help how your feeling now. Good luck on your job search.

  10. My husband and his mom are going shopping this weekend for baby furniture. Meanwhile I’m trying to scrape together the bare minimum for the first few months from Amazon etc. I realize that no baby needs a designer nursery, and that the odds and ends we’re pulling together will have zero impact on our babies’ development, but WAH! I wanted to go baby shopping with my husband! And I wanted a cute nursery for my babies! And instead I’m stuck in the hospital. Very thankful the babies are doing well and staying put, and ultimately I just care that they’re okay, but after putting up with all the cr@ppy parts of pregnancy, I at least wanted some of the fun parts. (We also had to cancel my shower because, hey, hospital.)

    2. “Big kid” rooms are so much more fun anyway. (Seriously, though, they are).

      I’m sorry :( You definitely deserve to go crib shopping.

    3. If it makes you feel better I found shopping for baby furniture and big gear (stroller, car seat, etc.) to be incredibly stressful and fight-inducing with DH. And I don’t think I’m alone here — maybe it’s just the Buy Buy Baby in NYC, but all of my friends consider it to be the 6th circle of h***. So on the positive side, you’re avoiding unnecessary stress and fights with DH.

      2. Agree with this. And when you’re shopping for two of almost everything, it’s even worse, though I understand your disappointment. Glad everyone’s doing well! Hang in there.

    4. I’m sorry. I promise that there are a million more shopping opportunities ahead of you, but I know that this hurts right now. Unsolicited review, we have Pali furniture/convertible crib and it has transitioned nicely from nursery to the first big boy room.

      1. Ooh. I just bought this crib and a Pali dresser. I’m happy to hear its nice stuff.

        1. In case you come back to read this, be mindful of buckles when using the dresser as a changing table. The edge hit my husband right at belt buckle level and it rubbed some after a year of diaper changes. Also be mindful of the changing pad buckles being shoved under the pad and scratching a dresser top. I don’t think the Pali wore out faster than any other wooden furniture but it’s annoying to have these dings on the top of the dresser.

    5. BUMMER! It’s no fun to be stuck on bed rest, but eventually t it will be okay. Lots of babies start life in ordinary-looking nurseries. The most important part is that they are healthy, their parents are healthy, and (with no disrespect to single-by-choice-or-circumstance parents) the parental relationship is healthy.

      When I first went on bed rest (a LONG time ago), a friend said “try to see this as calm time and enjoy it, because later you’re going to be totally busy.” This wasn’t (isn’t!?) welcome advice but there’s tranquility in simply accepting the circumstances. I did what I could while resting; everything else just had to happen in its own time.

    6. We bought adorable nursery stuff (bedding, carpet, curtains, light) at Ikea and it was WAY CHEAPER than all the other baby places. Worth checking out! And their furniture is cheaper too – and probably just fine in terms of durability if you’re not having more babies after these two.

      ps. SO GLAD they are hanging in there. Every day makes them a little more cooked!

    7. So sorry, TBK, but at least the babies are resting comfortably! I second the IKEA recommendation (my cousin outfitted her son with a crib from there and it’s transitioned to toddler bed pretty well). You can always make yourself feel better by getting just a few more baby clothes from Boden or even Target online — such cute stuff :)

    8. Another perspective – the babies don’t *need* a nursery right away when they come home from the hospital. You can have your husband pick out newborn sleeping furniture for your bedroom (co-sleeper, Moses basket, pack and play, bassinett, etc) and then furnish the nursery once the babies get here and you’re sprung from the hospital. The car seat/stroller/carrier stuff might be more urgent, since you actually can’t take the babies home without the carseat, but that’s not as much of a loss as picking out nursery stuff.

      And I totally second the Ikea recommendations – their cribs rank high for safety, feel solid as a rock (seriously, much more solid than the Buybuybaby model we were ogling for 4x the price), and convert to toddler beds when the time comes.

      And also – good luck. I’m entering my final weeks of pregnancy and think of you often. hugs.

      1. And you can shop ikea online and have your DH pick up in store – since so many folks recc ikea.

        1. So funny — we’re actually going with Ikea! I sent him a list yesterday of links to the things I like.

  11. I started at 33, graduated at 37 from the evening program. Managed to get a law clerk job where I didn’t take a pay cut and I just landed an associate position at a small firm (graduated in May), similar pay. So, no it’s not too old, BUT there are challenges.

    1. I wasn’t particularly close to my classmates who were mostly younger and didn’t work. They didn’t really understand the whole working/family/have to pay the mortgage thing.

    2. Career services was useless. One counselor told me not to look for full time work because it takes 3 months for health benefits to kick in. Yeah, at 33 I knew how insurance worked.

    3. No opportunity to do clinics, which were all during the day. I also didn’t do not court or a journal because I needed time for me/family.

    4. No summer associate position. Hey boss, can I get 10 weeks off was not a conversation that would end well.

    Obviously it depends on your situation, what you do now, if you will/can take a pay cut, and have the time to get experience. Experience in law is key to getting a job. I have over 15 years non legal experience and most firms weren’t interested in it at all.

    2. These are all very valid points. On the final one (re employers not caring about pre-legal work), it probably goes without saying that this doesn’t apply if you’re interested in a niche legal field and your experience is highly relevant. For example, in my class we had a PhD in neuro-something who had his pick of IP practices after graduation, a guy with 8 yrs experience at Goldman and JP Morgan who easily became a securities lawyer, and an MD (with a significant career as a physician already behind her) who got a job as in-house counsel at a hospital. But those were all pretty nichey resumes.

    3. Just one comment about pre-law experience not being looked at/helpful. I disagree with tk1 and agree with TBK but can take it beyond the realm of IP/science/tech backgrounds. I recruit for a mega firm and one of the practice areas that looks at pre-law work experience is my employment/labor practice. They love when we can find a candidate who worked in HR prior to law school. Those candidates typically have a better understanding of how businesses function, how/whether legal advice will be implemented in the context of human capital/workforce decisions. While we would not rule out an otherwise qualified candidate who lacked the pre-law experience, we are a little more interested when we find a candidate who has it.

      1. Curious – what about someone who has worked on the white collar investigations/due diligence side but is interested in possibly doing white collar defense or M&A/deal work?

      2. Fair points by Law Firm Recruiter and TBK, specific industry experience or IP background is definitely something firms will consider. My background was more general business, which wasn’t super helpful in my case. It really depends on what your background is.

  12. Anyone ever had gall stones and had to have their gall bladder removed? I’ve been having terrible, terrible stomach pain on and off for months now and my doctor thinks it may be gall stones, but he did say that the only way to relieve the pain would be to remove my gallbladder, which scares me. On the other hand, the pain has become so debilitating that it seems like it is probably worth the money and time I’d have to take off to recover. TIA!

    1. Don’t be scared!!! Getting your gall bladder removed is going to be WAY better in the long run than letting yourself suffer with gall stones!

      My mother had her gall bladder removed in the 80s, in Saudi Arabia, in what was basically a second-world medical facility. And back then they had to make a full incision, and she recovered quickly, it was no big deal, and she has had no lasting problems from lacking a gall bladder. Nowadays it’s probably a million times better!! they can do it laparoscopically, so you don’t even have a full incision to deal with, it’s not that different from having an appendix out. And I am the BIGGEST medical/hospital scaredycat!! Go through the process, at least get the testing done to see if it really is gall stones, but if it is, I would push things ahead and get it out sooner than later! Gall stones are NOT something you should have to deal with any longer!! Hugs!!

    2. I got mine done about 5 years ago – I only had the attack once and was advised similarly to remove the gallbladder to reduce it again. I had it out laparascopically, it was 2-3 days of recovery and I was fine.

    3. I have had four friends have theirs removed over the past 15 years, and every single one of them felt SO. MUCH. BETTER. after surgery. They had different levels of transitions to eating fatty foods afterwards, but I shared nachos for dinner with two of them last night, so I know they eventually got back into a wide range of foods. Good luck with this!

    4. One of my coworkers just had this done in late October/early November. She went to the ED on Thursday afternoon, was admitted Thursday night, had surgery on Friday morning and was home on Saturday. She had been ignoring the pain for months (3 major attacks in a 4 month time), and the surgeon was very upset with her. She was a few days away from being septic (systemic infection), and she was on her way to developing pancreatitis from it. She was back at work half-time after a week, full time with lifting restrictions after 2 weeks.

      This is one of the fastest surgeries to recover from, if you don’t wait and have it convert to pancreatitis. If it converts, recovery is slower and less certain.

    5. My sister had hers out in high school (maybe 15 years ago), after YEARS and YEARS of attacks that weren’t properly diagnosed (because what kid has gallstones?). She recovered pretty quickly, although the few days after the surgery were pretty painful even though it was laparoscopic. The difference in her life has been amazing. I think she can’t eat as much fatty food now comfortably, but definitely can eat some, and NO MORE HORRIBLE PAIN!

    6. This all makes me feel a lot better (not physically, unfortunately)! Honestly anything that will relieve the pain is probably going to be worth because this has been going on probably since October now and it has severely affected my quality of life (ie – watching the minutes on the clock at work to rush home and lay down and staying couped up all weekend because standing/sitting/eating is uncomfortable). I’m going for the ultrasound on Friday to see if it really is gall stones and now I’m starting to hope it is just so I know there is some relief in sight. Thanks again!

    7. oh yeah, the fatty foods thing. My mom can now eat absolutely anything she wants to, but she does get kind of full of rich foods pretty quickly. So she still enjoys rich foods, but she just has smaller portions of them. She actually thinks it’s been kind of helpful to help her keep her weight down as she’s gotten older! Because she gets full sooner. So, really, take care of yourself, do what the doctor says, this is going to be okay in the long run!

  13. Regular commenter, anon for this one. DH was just fired (today) and he’d like to speak with a plaintiff’s side employment lawyer. Any NYC recommendations? TIA.

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