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This is a nice plus-size option, although I can only find the jacket. Here's a suit that's a lower-priced alternative.
(L-all)
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Nabby
So what do we think of #ShePersisted
McConnell has gotten into a much larger mess than if he had just let her read the damn letter and not brought up obscure senate laws like a stick in the mud.
Anonymous
I’m a fairly liberal person, but I do wish I had a mute button for Elizabeth Warren sometimes (which is fine, on my TV, I have that option). I do wonder what her fellow Dems thing of her always hogging air time (like her vs Corey Booker, they are both people on the move and there’s only enough of the spotlight to go around, no). People in the senate have to endure, don’t have a mute button, and have agendas to push, too (esp. when you’re the minority party, it’s all a bit too much talking for nothing getting done).outrage
I’d be pro-talk if it were a) less and b) might accomplish something besides showing that you’re outraged (and I can mark them as outraged for the next 4 years).
Nabby
I mean what did she do wrong here? She read a letter about Sessions as they were debating confirming Sessions, this incident happened, it was reported, people – the general public – were incensed
Booker and Warren are naturally loud people, just as I’m sure you have naturally loud and naturally quiet coworkers. Yes some of them get on your nerves sometimes but that doesn’t make them bad.
anon
She is doing her job, by providing relevant input before the confirmation vote. I want her to keep doing her job, and not give up and lay down ahead of time just because we know what the outcome will be.
Anon
This Massachusetts dem won’t be voting to reelect her. Many of my friends feel the same.
Anonymous
You’re going to vote for a Republican? Or you’re assuming she will have a primary challenger?
Sydney Bristow
Do you mind if I ask you why? Is it because you disagree with her views or more about the methods she uses? I’m just curious.
One of the senators from my hometown state has become more vocal over the past few years and I’m proud every time I see the coverage he gets. Perhaps it feels different if they are always in the news.
Anon
Methods, but also I don’t think she’s in DC to represent me as a resident of Mass but rather a larger agenda. Some agenda items overlap with my views, but some certainly don’t. We’re a liberal state with a republican governor. Contrary to popular opinion, we’re not all profusely bleeding blue. But for certain areas (typically uber urban and/or university-driven areas), there are a lot of moderate democrats.
I think she’s made great waves in DC, but she’s better served doing something other than representing me as a Massachusetts resident. She will absolutely be challenged\ by another dem.
Annony
Interesting! I am a big Warren fan, but I can totally see your point. Thank you for sharing
Sydney Bristow
Thanks for explaining it to me. Feeling like she doesn’t represent you as her constituent is certainly a reason to support someone else who you think would.
Anon
Agreed – not a Mass resident, but I have family there. It’s a much more complicated state than people seem to think it is. And at the end of the day, a Senator’s job is to represent his/her constituents at the federal level, make sure that their viewpoints are being heard, and advocate for their needs. That’s not what drives her, and it makes people annoyed.
Anon
Not a Mass resident but I totally see your point. I wouldn’t like her as POTUS either. I think we need someone more middle-of-the-road and quieter…my ear drums just cannot take much more. Someone who can empathize and relate to others besides her base.
anon
Maybe you should vote for someone more like McConnell – he sure found a way to silence that mouthy woman.
Senior Attorney
Yeah. I feel like comments like Anon at 2:36 are evidence of how much ingrained sexism there still is.
Not that there was an question about that after November.
Anon
Dear Anon@3:10 and Senior Attorney,
Not sure where you’re coming from, but both comments are uncalled for. A good leader should listen more than they talk. At least for me. I wouldn’t vote for Mitch either. Sen. Warren is a wonderful advocate…but that doesn’t necessarily translate to a wonderful leader. I am not a lawyer and I do not use words the way you do. She’s loud and people have begun to tune her out. This is not a desireable trait for a POTUS. Anon, your comment was particularly obnoxious.
Senior Attorney
Do you not see how “people shouldn’t be loud” is a classic ploy to shut women’s voices down?
That’s where I coming from. You don’t have to agree but I don’t think pointing that out is out of line.
Anonymous
I am a Massachusetts Democrat and I find her grating. She tends to oversimplify and I find some of her outrage a little disingenuous and/or disconnected from reality. That said, I wouldn’t vote for a Republican challenger. I think she’s useful for agitating and MA can support a Senator who’s farther to the left than many states.
But I definitely wouldn’t vote for her for President.
Anonymous
Totally agree, and I’m on the more liberal end of the mainstream party. Loved HRC as a candidate. I do wonder how much of my irritation with her is ingrained sexism, but I think it’s more that I feel as though she doesn’t have my back as a MA resident. Also, I happen to work with financial services clients all the time and don’t like the demonizing language.
Anonymous
This Massachusetts dem loves her and most everyone I know does too. To each their own I guess.
anon
This Massachusetts dem loves her and most everyone I know does too. To each their own I guess.
X
This Massachusetts Dem loves her and so do all my friends. I feel so lucky that I live in a state where my reps are fighting for my causes. I’m still calling or emailing about the Muslim Ban, the ACA, Reproductive Rights, Sessions, etc but I know that Warren, Markey and Lynch are working really hard.
And I am so pissed off that McConnell applied the gag order under Rule 19 against her, but let too Male Democratic Senators read Coretta Scott King’s letter in full!
Anonymous
I think that the woman is perpetually aggrieved by something. So if I hear on the news that she has said something, I don’t even tune in to see what it is about. If it is someone who I rarely hear from, I pay attention.
It’s like she cries wolf all.the.time. She sees only wolves.
It’s like on social media, my attention to people’s political message is divided by the # of times they have a message. Once a year (or once every few) — probably worth considering what the person has to say. For people who post multiple times a day, my eyes glaze over. Each word dilutes the value of the next one.
Anon
+1 Yes, I’m Mass Dem above. The sound of her voice is losing value because it’s heard so often about so much. I don’t think she’s good at politics. The more often she talks, the less republicans are going to be likely to ever compromise or give in the direction of democrats.
Sarabeth
Lol at the idea that the current Republican party is going to compromise on anything, ever. You don’t have to like Senator Warren, but she is not the reason the Republican party isn’t going to compromise (that would be pressure from their own far-right base).
Anonymous
Far right isn’t going to compromise with far left. But for the Ds, there is not a lot left but far left.
We need lots of good centrists on each side. A lot of far-anything people yelling past each other to re-re-re-establish bona fides with their base is a recipe for 4 years of statis.
ELS
Disagree that there is nothing left but far left.
We look far left compared to the far right whackjobs currently in office. That doesn’t make us actually far left.
Sydney Bristow
I only saw the headlines on this. What was the rule that prevented her from reading it?
It does seem to have become a more visible thing since she was prevented from reading it than it would have otherwise been.
After yesterday’s DeVos confirmation, I’m just feeling so down on the chances of enough senators going against the president that this confirmation seems like it will happen no matter what.
Anon
There’s a rule that you can’t impugn the honor of another senator. McConnell decided that Coretta Scott King’s words, when repeated by Senator Warren, rose to that level.
Sydney Bristow
Really? So if he wasn’t a senator it would have been fine but since he is a senator his confirmation hearings get to be different than others?
Anon
Yep. Fabulous, isn’t it?
See Number 2: http://www.rules.senate.gov/public/index.cfm?p=RuleXIX
Anon
And, well, to be clear, this wasn’t a hearing. This was remarks on the floor, which have their own rules.
Anon
Wait, what? So if a fellow senator is nominated for a cabinet position you’re not allowed to express any negatives about them?
Anon
No, not exactly. The rules of *floor debate* say the following:
“No Senator in debate shall, directly or indirectly, by any form of words impute to another Senator or to other Senators any conduct or motive unworthy or unbecoming a Senator.”
Hill staffer
It’s not that you can’t express any negatives, it’s that you can’t say things that question their honor or integrity, essentially. I think that the issue with the letter that Warren was reading was that it referred to Sessions as a “disgrace.”
It’s just part of the Senate’s way of doing things; Senate people claim that the reason the body works (or used to work) is because it was a relatively collegial atmosphere where Senators trusted one another.
I honestly can’t weigh in on whether or not that’s true or makes any sense anymore. I work in the House, which Senate staffers think is basically like Animal House.
Carrots
My question is why in the heck was Tom Udall (as well as two other senators) allowed to read the letter, but not Elizabeth Warren??
http://thehill.com/homenews/senate/318466-sen-udall-reads-coretta-scott-king-letter-on-senate-floor-after-warren
Anonymous
4 male senators were allowed to read it after Warren was denied. Misogyny at work.
Anonymous
Because they’re dudes.
Anonymous
It wasn’t 3 senators that were allowed to read it, it was four. They are all guys, that’s the difference.
goldie
That is what bothers me about this whole episode. They shut up the female voice. It truly outrages me. Just listen to what she has to say, or ignore her, or do whatever you want, but don’t make her sit in the corner because of some rule you would never use against a man. She is a goddamn U.S. Senator and her conduct was completely reasonable.
Anonymous
To play devil’s advocate, I’ve read that he blocked Warren, saw it backfired, regretted it (that was all last night) and then this morning, decided to drop the issue. I think that makes sense.
Anonymous
My comment disappeared and I really want it to show up.
I read that he saw that last night backfired because she got all of this free press and he looked bad, so he decided to let it go this morning when the others tried to read it. That makes sense to me and has nothing to do with gender.
X
@Anonymous at 4:04
If that were true, then he should have apologized to her. Because it sure reads like misogyny to me. And after yesterday’s Betsy DeVos disaster, he and a whole lot of other Republicans are looking awfully selfish and out of touch. They took a bunch of money from her and then confirmed her nomination without listening to the overwhelming bipartisan opposition from their constituents…
Anonymous
Loved HRC. Not as much of a Warren fan but this made me a convert. The letter was totally relevant and appropriate. Love the #ShePersisted posts on twitter.
Anon
Right there with you. I think Warren is wrong about a number of things related to the banking community but today #imwithher
Anonnyc
What about the banking community do you believe she’s wrong about? Genuinely curious!
Anon
She speaks a populist message about TARP/ the bailouts but doesn’t address the fundamentals. I was in the epicenter of the 2008 financial crisis and I believe the bailouts, as hastily and badly and unfairly crafted as they were, really prevented a much larger, much scarier breakdown of the global financial system, which would not have benefited anyone.
Anonnyc
Ok gotcha. My best friend works in finance (impact investing) and has a similar viewpoint/in general has opened my mind a lot about this stuff. Thanks!
buffybot
This is actually where my annoyance with Warren comes in — the platitudes she spouts about bank regulation are clearly designed to serve her own political ends and are often vastly oversimplified. She’s smart enough to understand the inherent complexities in our (heavily regulated) financial system but she leans on cheap rhetorical devices and grandstanding. E.g., she once proposed that student loan interest should be capped at Fed Funds on the basis that students should get to borrow at the same rate as the US government — that’s a lovely thought but ignores the entire point of interest rates as a reflection of credit risk. Pre-Trump, anyway, there is no way that the credit risk of a college freshman versus the US government is equivalent.
Listen, if my choice was between her and (most) Republicans, I’d still pick her due to her stance on social issue — but it frustrates me to see a smart person avoid nuance.
Anonymous
Yeah, it’s like when Sanders said it’s outrageous that you can get a better interest rate on a car or house mortgage than student loans. Welllll do you understand collateral?
Anon
EXACTLY
cbackson
The Antonio Weiss situation was one of the worst examples of this, in my view. The fact that he’d worked at Lazard was enough for her to make him a punching bag, notwithstanding that he’d actually been a vocal advocate of Wall Street reform.
Betsy
But federal student loans interest rates don’t reflect the risk of a borrower. Nowhere else could an 18 year old without any credit be guaranteed to be approved for a 3.76% interest rate on a $5500 loan. The federal student loan system is already set up to ignore interest rates as a reflection of borrower risk. If you’re already using an artificially low interest rate, why can’t it be made even lower?
Baconpancakes
Lol, 3.76%? Try 7.4% for grad school.
Sydney Bristow
Ok I’m not in finance or anything related to it, but on the subject of risk, student loans cannot be discharged in bankruptcy except in very specific circumstances. Doesn’t that lower the risk? I understand collateral, but someone can get their mortgage discharged in bankruptcy and the bank will get the house back (and in 2008/2009 that was probably worth way less than they would have received otherwise) but my student loans will never go away unless I pay them off. I don’t need 0% on my student loans (although that would be nice) but 3-4% would be VASTLY better for me than the 6.8% and 7.9% that my student loans are at. It would allow me to pay it all off much faster and likely enter the housing market sooner.
JayJay
No bank or mortgage company actually wants the house or to go through foreclosure, though. It’s a huge expense (in both time, money, and resources). They’d much rather modify the loan and make sure the borrower continues some form of payments.
Sydney Bristow
Sure, I get that. But they might be willing to modify the loan to continue to get money out of the borrower because otherwise they’d have to go through the foreclosure option. There is no similar incentive to deal with student loan borrowers. Doesn’t that decrease the risk for student loan lenders?
Anonymous
I’m really worried because everyone says this is making her the leading Democrat for 2020. I think we learned that we are not ready for a woman, and certainly not a loud, aggressive one who doesn’t conform to traditional notions of what is feminine (I’m aware that is s*xist, but I think it is also reality). My main concern is defeating Trump in 2020 and I don’t think Warren can do it.
Anonymous
I hate this but you could be right.
Anonymous
Michella Obama 2020
prettyprimadonna
THIS!
Blonde Lawyer
+1.
Anonymous
I don’t think Warren can, but Kirsten Gillibrand certainly has a shot.
Anonymous
NO WAY. She’s Hillary 2.0. She was closely mentored by Hillary and took over her Senate state. She is forever linked with the Clintons. The only thing worse than Gillibrand being the Dem nominee would be Chelsea Clinton being the nominee.
Anonymous
(I love HRC, for the record, but nominating her protege is NOT the way to beat Trump).
MargaretO
I would so much prefer Gillibrand than Warren, even though I like them both. I just think Gillibrand is a more tactical politician who will do a better job appealing to moderate republicans and less than progressive dems. I like all of the things that the Mass residents above are complaining about with Warren (also a former resident with family there) but I don’t think she is appealing across the board.
Anon
How about Kamala Harris? Don’t know much about her – but what little I’m seeing, I’m kind of impressed. Also from the left coast – so none of the Clinton, NYC ties.
How about Cory Booker?
Anonymous
I like Kamala Harris a lot, but honestly I want a dude in 2020. I’m not a big Cory Booker fan personally and I think some of the Bernie-type people don’t like him because of his ties to big pharma (I do’nt know much about that though).
MargaretO
I really don’t like Cory Booker (and yeah I’m a Bernie person). I think he is an even more extreme version of the Obama style talks like a progressive, acts like a very very moderate liberal. The Dems need to run someone who can tie the progressive Bernie wing of the party to the Clinton neoliberal wing – someone like Bill Deblasio (not sure if he is a reasonable choice but in that general direction).
Anon
So the Bernie progressives aren’t going away – great. Can’t wait to pay for free college and whatever else for all of them . . . . Give me a Romney or a Bloomberg any day.
MargaretO
The Bernie progressive AKA the vast majority of dem voters under 35. Thanks for messing up the economy for us! Over half of young people in this country are now socialists.
Anonymous
@ Anonymous at 2.46 pm…. you “want a dude in 2020”? I guess the last 250 years of dudes hasn’t been quite enough? I guess having a woman almost get there is enough progress for you, for now? Wow. Some women really are the enemy.
Sydney Bristow
@MargaretO – I’d prefer almost anyone to Deblasio! Many of my liberal friends in NYC feel the same way.
I’d definitely like to find someone who can unite the wings of our party and speak to all of them.
Anonymous
DeBlasio eats his pizza with a knife and fork. That ought to disqualify him from even being a New Yorker. Bleh.
2:46
Relax, I’m not the enemy. I would love a woman president, but even more than that I want to prevent Trump from getting a second term that would do serious harm to millions more lives and the planet. I think the American public made clear in 2016 that a woman has little chance of beating him. That’s all.
Anonymous
She’s screwy on a bunch of issues that I feel put her at odds with a lot of NY (other than close in NYC suburbs). And she has a habit of just yelling at people up for confirmation in a way that makes her look naive and clueless. I don’t know why, but I sense that she would be a horrid commander in chief. Like she’d care about putting women into combat and getting Tricare to pay for gender reassignment surgery, but not care so much about complex PTSD. Like she’s too much from Starbucks and not enough from REI to actually win a nationwide race (and could easily be upset by something like a conservative D in a primary).
New Tampanian
There’s another 2 years before anyone is seriously able to be named a “leading contender” for 2020.
Anon
November 9, 2016 was a truly horrible day. That could only be topped by Trump, somehow, being re-elected.
We need a 40-year old Joe Biden. Not Booker, Warren, or Gilllibrand – all of whom I personally like, but are too cerebral for those who voted DJT because he was ‘not a politician.’
Anonymous
Or a 77-year-old Joe Biden. Just sayin’.
anonymous
We don’t really know what kind of candidate we’ll need to beat Trump in 4 years though. People could be exhausted by this constant chaos by then and want someone who’s more measured in response. Or he could have a primary challenger. We don’t really know yet, and Trump is a real wild card, so we know even less than we normally would.
AEK
Franken 2020!
Anon
I could go for Franken. We are clearly in the age of celebrity anyway.
Anon
And he could play himself on SNL.
Senior Attorney
I would totally get on board for this.
Anonymous
If they want to seem not-Fascist, they aren’t doing a great job.
NOLA
So why is it that male Senators were allowed to read the letter and enter it into the record?
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/republicans-let-men-read-coretta-scott-king-jeff-sessions_us_589b3efde4b0c1284f29a736
Why is a woman seen as strident when men can say the same thing? Frankly, to all of you who want to say you want to mute Elizabeth Warren, when I want to be lifted up, I go listen to her speeches. She is saying what many of us would like to say. Not all of us, obviously.
WhyIMarch
I find many of the posts on this topic depressing. In politics and life in general a woman is held to an impossible standard — too aggressive and loud, not good, too soft and meek, not effective. I don’t live in Massachusetts so I understand my perspective is only from seeing Senator Warren on the national level but I find her very inspiring, dependably progressive and willing to speak bluntly, which is more of what we need from the Democratic party.
And I refuse to accede to the “our nation is not ready to accept a woman as President…” If so, why did a woman get almost 3 million more votes than her presidential male opponent? Did we learn nothing from the last election — we need to realize that we need to unite and not divide ourselves by sniping at each other. I was heartened by the Women’s March, which suggested that this was possible and highlighted the importance of feminism, for both men and women, in preserving our essential rights and freedoms as Americans.
What McConnell did to Warren is the epitome of sexism and intended to diminish her right to speak and be heard. I do believe they would not have done that to a male senator taking the same action as Sen. Warren. Indeed, several male senators read Coretta King’s letter on the Senate floor after she was silenced and banished and they did not suffer the same fate.
I have been a lawyer for 40 years and experienced first hand so much gender bias and sexism in the course of my practice that you would find it shocking. But playing nice, acting like a “lady” and putting up with it didn’t work then and won’t work now. I think Senator Warren has the right idea in speaking out loudly, forcefully and repeatedly for the progressive values that she espouses. (End of rant)
Anon
Thank you. I’m a 52 year old woman with a 16 year old daughter and I worry we won’t see a female president in my lifetime, and maybe not in my daughter’s lifetime, because we are afraid a woman won’t win.
That is not acceptable to me. We are a majority of the population of the US and it kills me that we have NEVER been represented by one of our own.
The way to change this is not to back off. They way to change it is to keep pushing.
Anonymous
We won’t see a female president in your daughter’s lifetime because half of this country is really freaking sexist. Don’t blame the Dems for wanting an electable candidate, especially in 2020. The problem is Trump and his supporters.
WhyIMarch
No — simply rolling over on that is a self fulfilling prophecy. Countries all over the world with equally if not more sexist cultures have accepted women leaders. This country can and will if we come together, plan smartly and fight hard. RESIST! Never give up never surrender! I still think it can happen in my lifetime and I am 63! Certainly in my 25 year old (feminist) son’s lifetime.
Anonymous
AMEN
NOLA
AGREED
Rosie
I am very liberal but her “questioning” of DeVos was just grandstanding. Franken and Kaine used their time for pointed questions that DeVos could not answer.
This jacket
These collars to me always look like someone is trying to pop the collar of a suit jacket. IMO, they never look quite right.
Anon
This one seems to lay higher on the neck than it should. I like this style when it sits down a little more.
June
This type of collar hasn’t worked for me, but I think it would be chic with a short blunt haircut.
Bonnie
Agreed.
Anon
I don’t have a blazer with a collar like this but I saw a woman the other day wearing a burgundy blazer with notched collars and it looked very chic FWIW
Yes
That’s exactly what I came looking for! It’s like a popped collar. I can’t pull it off.
Outta Here
Would you ever quit a job and give less than 2 weeks’ notice?
I’m fleeing a sinking ship and am desperate to escape. To put some color around this, for the entire month of January I billed 17 hours. Not a typo. Seventeen hours in an entire month.
In light of the fact that there is quite literally nothing to do, two weeks seems unnecessary. I’ve been rehearsing my resignation and was considering telling – rather than asking – that my last day be one week from today, though if there’s some pressing reason for me to stay longer, I’ll stay the customary two weeks.
Thoughts?
Anonymous
Are you quitting to take another job? Or just quitting?
I’d try to see if you can quit, leave that day, and have two weeks off b/w jobs. At our firm, if you to work for a competitor, they perp walk you out and wipe your mobile device, so you should be prepared for that possibility (so you may want a day to get your house in order).
Outta Here
I have another job lined up. It’s in policy, so I’m not going to a competitor. The HR policy manual mentions a preference (but not requirement) for two weeks’ notice, so I hadn’t considered being walked out – thanks for the heads up. It’d be tight financially, but I’d absolutely love to get out of here sooner than expected!
Anonymous
I think it’s ok to give your notice as one week as long as you make it clear you’re willing to stay two. I was in a similar situation and I was surprised how much stuff there was for me to wrap up. I ended up being fairly busy my last two weeks, although a lot of it was non-billable.
Torin
I would still give 2 weeks. I quit a job in a similar situation (I billed maybe 400-500 hours from January through September of that year) and still gave 2 weeks and was glad I did. I maintained a friendly relationship with my old boss and saw him regularly. He was (he has since passed) friendly with and well known and liked by a lot of people in the industry I now work in and I saw it as a gesture of professional respect and a signal that the last thing I wanted to do was permanently burn any bridges that I followed the standard procedure despite the fact that I had basically nothing to transition.
S in Chicago
+1 million
Bonnie
Even if it’s a sinking ship, I wouldn’t quit without having another job lined up. Much harder to job search with a resume gap.
Anon
Yes it is absolutely ok on a sinking ship and they will thank you for saving them the two weeks salary if you’re not generating income.
You can say you’d like to give one week, but are willing to give two weeks if they feel strongly, but point out that there is nothing on your plate right now. Chances are good they’ll walk you out the day you give notice so be prepared for that.
Anonymous
I would give two weeks but be prepared to leave much sooner. I was in the same boat last year, and when I gave two weeks they informed me that they only needed me to stay for one more week, which was totally fine with me. But I think it might have burned a bridge if I had framed my notice as only one week. Better to let them make the choice.
And if they do want you to stick around for two weeks and you have nothing to do? You collect a paycheck while covertly reading or watching TV at work and going out for long lunches with friends. Not the end of the world.
Anonymous
Yes, I had something similar happen – I gave two weeks notice because I felt like I should, but at the end of the first week I had finished handing everything off. I told my supervisor that I didn’t really see a need for the second week, asked him if he did, and was able to be gone after just one week. (IIRC, I had that conversation late in the day on Thursday of the first week, so I came back on Friday, did a few final HR things, and left. It was glorious.)
Yes
OMG TRADE ME LIVES. I AM DROWNING IN WORK.
Anon
In my state you can put in your 2 weeks, then they can tell you no, just go and then you can file for unemployment for those two weeks if they tell you to skedaddle. Just sayin.
Anonymous
Unemployment is capped at a small fraction of what most people here make, though. It’s not nothing, but to a lawyer who is earning $4,000 a week or something like that, an unemployment check of $300 is not going to be replace lost salary.
In-House in Houston
I say that sound reasonable. Why stay and twiddle your thumbs. If they ask you to say, then you will, right? So no harm, no foul.
D.C. bound
Recommendations for a restaurant in Georgetown for next Wednesday or Thursday night? I am looking for a good grown-up date spot. I prefer ambiance and personality over white tablecloths.
Anonymous
Check Tom Sietsma’s food guide at the Washington Post.
DC foodie
What kind of food do you like? Does it have to be in Georgetown? A lot of the restaurants there are touristy or stuffy. There are a ton of good restaurants in DC now, but they’re not in Georgetown.
That said, Chez Billy Sud is my go-to in Georgetown. Really nice French food with a twist. Fiola Mare is also good, but definitely fancy.
But really, just take a cab to 14th Street.
June
+1 Chez Billy Sud !
Emmer
+2. Checks all your boxes.
DC Anon
I live in Georgetown and I agree with both of these recommendations. And Chez Billy Sud has an AMAZING wine bar right next to it called Bar a Vin.
All of the other good places in Georgetown are attached to hotels. I highly recommend the lounge at Blue Duck Tavern (Hyatt) or the lounge at Bourbon Steak (Four Seasons). Blue Duck Tavern’s lounge has more interesting food, but Bourbon Steak’s lounge has the best burger in DC and really amazing cocktails.
Anon
+1 to Blue Duck Tavern! Soooo good. A few blocks further east and you’re at Rasika West End, which has fabulous Indian food.
Dasha
Unum on 29th and M. Fabulous drinks, great atmosphere and great menu. Definitely a grown up date spot. And definitely not stuffy, but sophisticated.
Bonnie
Old school but I like 1789. Pricy though.
ANON
Or go downstairs to the Tombs for some extra ambiance and personality. (Kidding, of course.)
Ellen
I went there alot in college. It was so much fun! I wish I were still a student even tho the professors hit on me there.
Anonymous
There’s a tapas place on M St. called Bodega that I like. They have a good sangria (and I think there are happy hour prices on it during the week).
Rheumatoid Arthritis
I’ve recently been diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis. I’m terrified of the side effects of being put on steroids. Literally terrified. Weight gain, acne and mood swings are the top 3 side effects, and coincidently, the top 3 things I have battled all.my.life. If there’s anyone out there with RA that has had relief without steroids? How about long term medications? Any alternatives to prescription medications?
anon
Ugh. You have my sympathies. My mom has RA. I don’t know a lot of details of her treatments (she doesn’t like to talk about it), but I can tell you that she’s been on steroids and hasn’t suffered those side effects.
She’s also used Remicade which has been effective for her, and I believe that is not a steroid.
First Year Anon
I’m sorry to hear that. I believe there are non-steroidal medications for RH- Humira?
Coach Laura
Sorry about the RA diagnosis. RA is an autoimmune disease. There is some evidence that autoimmune diseases are fueled by gluten intolerance in Some (but by no means all) people. Celiac disease is an autoimmune disease but you can benefit from dropping gluten even if you don’t have full celiac. Gluten causes inflammation in susceptible people and RA is inflammatory.
If you want to try it (and there’s nothing to lose by trying) give it a full month or six weeks. It likely won’t cure the RA but might help. It is a drug free option.
Before trying you could get tested for celiac by your rhuematologist before a GF trial but celiac is overlooked by many doctors and people can benefit from a gf diet without a true celiac diagnosis.
Anonymous
I am Anon at 2:48 below. Just to clarify, I have heard about gluten-free diets, but my stepmother sidestepped foods in the nightshade family.
Coach Laura
OH and one more thing. Depression, joint pain and weight gain are a few of the 100+ recognized symptoms of celiac.
Anonattorney
I know a couple of people who have treated their RA primarily through diet and gentler medications. One friend because she was TTC (and then actually conceived), and the prescription medication was not compatible with pregnancy. She did fine – I’m not sure what her plan is now that she had the babies. I could get more info, if you’d like.
Anonymous
I am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. Hopefully someone with more information will chime in to help you. My stepmother had rheumatoid arthritis (she has since passed away) and while I didn’t see it up close (I had already left for college my the time my dad remarried), it was an unhappy condition for her, who was otherwise a pleasant, upbeat person.
The one thing I can tell you from my observations at arm’s length is that it seems particularly important to follow your treatment plan with this condition–whatever plan that is. I would ask around in the RA community for recommendations of good physicians and ask about your options regarding steroids and their side effects. I do know that my stepmother was able to treat some of her arthritis pain by modifying her diet, but that the medical side is so, so important to maintaining your health and comfort.
Anon
My mom has RA. She was diagnosed with it when she was in her early 40s. I don’t know which medications she’s on right now, but I know that they are crucial for her pain management. She does have side effects, but she says that they’re not as bad as not taking the drug and having the disease progress and ruin her joints. She’s still able to lead a totally normal lifestyle, albeit with flares every once in awhile.
She is gluten and dairy intolerant and also eats a low-FODMAP diet, which cuts out a lot of foods that cause GI distress for some people. Her symptoms have been slightly better since making those dietary changes a few years ago, but they haven’t cured her RA or anything.
Blonde Lawyer
I have Crohn’s and HS, both autoimmune. A strict gluten and dairy free diet keep me in remission but I know that doesn’t work for everyone. My husband has a never actually diagnosed issue that involves GI problems, fatigue and joint pain. He has found relief, or at least improvement, from eating a nightshade free diet. Nightshades are potato, tomato, pepper, paprika, eggplant and tobacco. I don’t think it’s placebo for him either. The no nightshade diet was actually prescribed for me initially and he ate it by default of us eating together. He realized when it didn’t work for me and we went back to eating normally, that he had felt better while on it.
As to the steroids, you might just need short term treatment with them. I have never needed steroids longer than three months but I know everyone’s mileage varies in this regard. Coming off of it was more difficult for me than being on it, even with a slow taper. But, it works miracles and as much as I hate it, I’ll take it when and if I have to. The worst of the side effects come from long term use.
Anonymous
I have IBS and got put on liquid nutrition back in 2012 when my GI problems got so out-of-control that I could not digest anything, and I was in severe pain all the time. After doing an allergen-free liquid diet for a week, I slowly started adding foods back to my diet. My GI doc had been convinced it was lactose intolerance, but it turns out it was gluten. I went back on dairy and had almost no problems, but gluten just about killed me. When I cut it out entirely, 90% of my symptoms resolved within 3 weeks (including a persistent pelvic pain that they had investigated via ultrasound and x-ray multiple times and never found a cause). Over the last few years I have refined my diet to cut out a lot of high-FODMAP and other IBS-problematic foods, including beans, all artificial sweeteners (sugar alcohols being a particularly bad trigger), and white potatoes (eggplant and tomatoes don’t cause me problems but white potatoes, forget it.).
I have a lot of autoimmune stuff going on – positive ANA antibodies, MTHFR, I tested positive for rheumatoid factor last year (but so far don’t have RA symptoms). I eat gluten-free/low FODMAPS to keep my IBS under control but have noticed it has helped a lot of other symptoms, joint pain and migraines being just a couple. When I tested positive for RF last year, I was referred to a rheumatologist and we discussed DMARDS (which you can get on with or without steroids, is what I was told), but I was reluctant to take them when I wasn’t having problems/feeling bad (I know that may not be forever). My rheumatologist said he was okay with “patient-driven disease management” and letting me decide when I felt sick enough to consider heavier drug therapy. OP, if you are not comfortable taking steroids, my limited understanding is that you have options. If your current doctor won’t listen to your concerns, go see another rheumatologist and see what their approach is. I can tell you from dealing with nonspecific complaints for many years, sometimes it takes more than one doctor to get to the bottom of a problem and find a treatment plan that works for you. Big hugs.
Rheumatoid Arthritis
You poor thing! Thank you for the good advice. It’s much appreciated.
Wehaf
I have had good luck treating my autoimmune diseases (celiac and Hashimoto’s) with the autoimmune diet (sometimes called the auto-immune paleo diet). It can seem daunting as it is a fairly strict diet, but now that I am on it and used to it (and seeing good results!) I don’t mind it at all.
Being diagnosed with one autoimmune disease significantly increases the likelihood you’ll be diagnosed with another, so definitely keep a lookout for symptoms of other ones (like celiac). And people with any autoimmune disease are likely to have trouble with gluten, even if they don’t have celiac. This won’t necessarily present as GI symptoms, but could manifest as depression, migraines, weight gain, acne, and general inflammation issues. I agree with the poster above that if you decide to try a gluten-free diet, you should try it for at least six months – it can take that long for the body to heal so you can start to see noticeable results.
The gold standard test for celiac is an intestinal biopsy; the other tests, including the antibody blood test, have fairly high rates of false negatives.
Rheumatoid Arthritis
I’ll look into the autoimmue diet, thanks. I’ve followed a Paleo diet before and also completed a Whole30 back in October (with no relief of my symptoms). Maybe I need longer. Anything is worth a try.
Thanks to you all for the responses!
Anon
Please talk to your doctor first. Please.
Steroids are usually short term to bridge you over to steroid sparing meds. Most RA patients are not on chronic steroids. Emphasize to your doc your concerns, and desire to be on the lowest dose to control your symptoms, which is their goal too. Consider concurrent treatments to minimize side effects IF YOU HAVE THEM as many do not if they are short term (eg OCPs/spironolactone, metformin, mood stabilizers).
Rheumatoid Arthritis
I certainly will. Thank you.
American Apparel
Reposting because I think I was too late to the morning thread…I really want to get this tee. Anyone have feedback on American Apparel sizing and whether or not they shrink?
https://teespring.com/new-female-supreme-court-justi#pid=322&cid=6316&sid=front
Bonnie
IME they run small.
MargaretO
They run smallish and are cut really straight up and down – I would size up A LOT if you have a largeish chest, my E cups cannot fit in them at all these days.
Anonymous
they don’t shrink too much, and not after the first wash.
Austin Recommendations
Posting again because my comment has been stuck in moderation all morning. I am looking for recommendations from the Hive for areas to stay near downtown Austin for a bachelorette party in early June. We plan to stay in an Airbnb (approximately 15 of us) and want to be close to bars and restaurants with a cool vibe. FWIW, we are all late 20s/early 30s so good day drinking spots and restaurants are more important than late-night “clubbing”. The bride-to-be is pretty low key. I have been to Austin once before, but it has been years and I don’t remember the neighborhoods by name. I would also love any recs for other fun things to do that time of year. Thank you!
LHW
Last I heard is that Uber does not operate in Austin and getting a cab is almost impossible {I lived there 4 years ago}. You may want to look for a house that is walkable with such a large group. The bars are on 6th street, 4th street, South Congress and Rainey St.
Austin has changed SO much each time I visit that I’m hesitant to give our more recommendations.
Yall will have a blast! Look into floating the river in New Braunfels (approximately an hour away but you can arrange transportation). There are also vineyards within 45 minutes of the city and you could go to Salt Lick BBQ.
Pen and Pencil
Uber doesn’t operate, but Lyft does. The bars are pretty much all on 6th,4th, and Rainy. I would recommend looking at Rainy street, it isn’t as wild as 6th street.
Anonymous
I believe I went to Rainey St. last May for a conference and it was pretty fun – lots of options all along one very walkable stretch, which I appreciated. Seemed to range from low key up through low level turnt on the night we were there – we stuck with low key, which suited me just fine.
Tetra
My friends and I stayed in an AirBnB off West 6th in a residential neighborhood. It was walkable to downtown and close to tons of bars and restaurants, and very close to a Whole Foods.
Party Affiliation
I grew up in a household where everyone, for generations, was a D. Fairly conservative, but D. In high school, I came to realize that I am really more liberal than my older relatives (like I was very openly LGBT friendly, which is now striking me as a really gutsy thing do have done then and in the town I grew up in, which is odd for me b/c I’m a pretty quite non-protesy person), which won’t come as a shock to anyone. But in many ways, I am pretty fiscally conservative. And have helped run a small business, which I think is pretty rare among the Ds in the city I live in now.
I don’t think that D is my home now b/c it is just so far to the left on many things (like for who wins primaries, what the priorities are (my city is like Portlandia — very big into transit and expensive bike paths while the public schools fail and businesses move across a nearby border to a more pro-business state)). If there were still blue-dog Ds, there would maybe be a place for me.
I think as an R, I would probably have more of an impact (working woman, etc.). I mean, no R I know liked Trump (I think that all of the hard-core Ds voted for HRC and the Reagan Ds and people in non-big-coastal-cities voted for Trump and that explains it to me). In a primary, my vote might matter more as an R and feels like it would never matter as a D (and I’m in a purple state, so while my area will always be won by a D, state-wide races are a toss-up).
I can’t be the only one thinking through this.
Anon
I am also a centrist D: socially liberal and fiscally conservative. For now, I’m staying with the party and voting for moderates in primaries. In some ways, I’m a single issue voter (abortion) and I can’t deal with today’s Rs on that.
But yes, earlier today actually, the thought crossed my mind that we as a nation might be on the verge of seeing dramatic shifts in our political parties and what they stand for. I hope someday soon a centrist can break through.
Anon
+1
Anonymous
I am another centrist Democrat who leans libertarian more than Republican (although I voted for Hillary, not for Gary Johnson). I just cannot get behind the social conservativism that seems to be driving the Republican Party these days. When I hear that people voted for Trump solely because he was going to appoint a Supreme Court justice who would vote to ban abortion, I want to bang my head against the wall really hard. Really? You voted for a repugnant, lying bully just because you think now abortion will be illegalized? Gee, thanks.
I am seriously concerned about deficit spending and how we are going to continue to support entitlement programs we don’t have the money to pay for, and yet no one seems to be talking about that. I don’t think the solution is to get rid of Medicare and Social Security but we need some kind of fix, sooner rather than later. I get really frustrated because politically, we keep rehashing the same issues – gay marriage, abortion, transgender bathrooms (FFS), etc. that are, let’s face it, niche issues. But these huge elephants in the room, Medicare and Social Security – that affect EVERYONE in the U.S. – no one seems to want to talk about that. I also believe we have too many government regulations that are stifling small-business growth and gaming the free market in favor of big business, and the Republicans are just as much to blame for that. Ultimately I believe the government that governs best is that which governs least, and the Republicans purport to believe that also, except when it comes to what people do in their bedrooms, or what women do with their bodies. That is fair game, apparently, for every attempt at regulation they can come up with. Ugh.
I can’t vote Republican until they abandon the legislated-morality stuff and I won’t vote libertarian because I really do feel it’s throwing my vote away. I cringe at the idea of Bernie Sanders or Elizabeth Warren running in 2020 because moving towards socialism will not help us get Trump out of office, and I don’t think it will work for the country in the long run. I voted for Hillary because I believed she would be a better president than Trump, but very honestly, there has not been a politician on the national stage that has spoken to me and represented my values in a long time. Because ultimately, I am a centrist and everything keeps moving towards extremes. I don’t know what the answer is.
Senior Attorney
To give another perspective, my husband was a life-long R but switched to D after his party nominated Trump for president. He says he can’t be a part of a party that would do that, not matter what. He’s fiscally conservative and a business owner but he just can’t stomach the R leadership on either the local or national level.
Anonymous
I’m not sure you’re right about how the affiliation broke down with Trump/HRC voting. 95% of Democrats I know voted for Hillary (the remaining 5% for Jill Stein or a write-in, not Trump) and probably about 70% of the Republicans I know voted for Trump, mostly because of taxes and the Supreme Court (none of them were Trump supporters in the primaries). He definitely energized some traditional Democratic demographics like rural, blue collar whites, but I don’t think he made most people switch parties. Anyway, by all means register as whatever you want – if you’d rather vote in Republican primaries, register as that. You can vote for whoever you want in the general election.
Anonymous
That’s why my husband is registered Republican. We live in one of the reddest states in the country, so he sees being able to vote in Republican primaries as about the best way to make his vote count for something. (Republican primaries in our state are closed, while Democratic ones are open.)
Anon
Register as an R. Prevent the next trump. Bring back compassionate conservatism. Drown out all those ignorant knee jerk voices with your reasoned logic. Do it. This bleeding heart liberal from Berkeley will thank you for improving the level of discourse in this country.
Torin
I feel like implicit in your musings is the idea that you have to be a party member and that switching parties is difficult: does your state have closed primaries ? Also how difficult is it to change part affiliation to vote in a different primary each time? Texas (where I live) has open primaries, so I have voted in both D and R primaries. I don’t know how it works where you live, but if it’s relatively easy to switch parties to vote in a closed primary I would think you could strategically switch back and forth depending on who’s running in a given election. Unless there’s some other consideration to being a party member that I’m not considering.
ELS
Not the OP, but my state has closed primaries, so you do have to switch affiliations to vote in primaries. I’m solidly D — very socially liberal, fiscally moderate.
I don’t agree, btw, that the Dems are “so far left” on things.
Torin
But how hard is it to switch? Would it be difficult to switch every primary theoretically if you wanted to?
ELS
You technically can, though there are fairly draconian deadlines for doing so. You have to do it in person, and in my area, the office that you use to do so is pretty out of the way as far as government buildings go.
I don’t think it’s a big deal to re-affiliate, personally. But it’s inconvenient to do so each year, especially given the geography and hours of the office in my semi-rural area.
FWIW: I DID switch my affiliation to vote in the R primary in my state in order to try to prevent Trump. Given the issues in several of the local elections, too, I felt that I cared more about the outcome of the R primary than the D one.
It DID cause me to get a number of hilarious to incredibly frustrating/scary political calls, however, so YMMV.
Also: this reminds me that I need to change my affiliation back.
Walnut
I am generally libertarian, but I will switch parties prior to the primary to vote. This year I switched to R so I could vote against Trump in the primary.
JuniorMinion
Right there with you. I ended up voting for nobody in this election and would also call myself a relatively socially liberal but fiscally conservative person. I’ve never not voted before. I voted for McCain and have stumped for local R politicians whose plans I thought would make an impact in local arenas in a heavily blue area. By the same token, there are some D politicians who I support (I voted for Lieberman, and would vote for Gillibrand). I just can’t with the Bible belt bent of some of the current R politicians.
Anon
There are more ideologies than just R and D and remember that it is a spectrum. It sounds like you are struggling with the inconsistencies of both. And at present they both do seem to be changing from what they were during our parents’ and grandparents’ generations. I spent a lot of time in college really figuring out where on the ideological spectrum I fall and once I figured it out (I’m neither D nor R FWIW) I felt much more at peace.
Anonymous
Not in the Bible Belt, there aren’t–at least, not practically speaking. As a political minority in OK, my vote is worthless. I still vote, but it seems futile.
Anon
I’m a D and my observation is that on the national level, they are more fiscally conservative than R’s. Take a look at economies under Clinton and Obama, vs Bush Jr, Bush Sr. and even Reagan, who cut all social programs but ran up huge deficits through defense spending foreign wars and tax cuts for ultra wealthy- your choice but seriously look into it if that’s your reason!
ELS
+1. I’m less concerned about spending and more about deficits. I actually like social programs.
This is part of my reason for challenging the idea that Dems are “so far to the left” as a basic premise, above.
Anonnyc
THIS
The Ds have morphed into the socially liberal fiscally conservative party’s dream for several years/elections now….
CPA Lady
Same. I used to call myself a liberal republican. Then McCain picked Sarah Palin and I was done.
I also agree that a lot of this is regional. I am a very liberal democrat by the standards of my southern city. But I get the feeling that people who live in big cities on the coasts live in a completely different world. I hadn’t even heard of the term “dead name” until people got into an argument over Chelsea Manning on here a few weeks ago. I was asking about buying a necklace and someone on here told me to go to the Indian district to get one… uh… we maybe have 30 Indian people who live in this entire city. And I own a couple of guns. So. Not exactly your NYC liberal dem or your Seattle liberal dem. A totally different animal. I think this is one reason the parties, especially the democrat party, struggles to be cohesive on a national level. Because what it means to be [whatever label] is different in different parts of the country. And the things that will get NYC liberal dems fired up might be a little too far for liberal dems in Nashville or Dallas or small town Alabama, and it doesn’t seem like there is any room for compromise from the people all the way to the left.
When it comes to voting, I vote republican in primaries to try to get the most moderate republican on the ballot, and then I vote democrat in the actual election.
I wish democrats would focus more on economic issues that matter to people other than 20 year olds. I’m listening to Bernie Sanders saying free college for everyone! And I’m thinking “who is going to pay for that?The ‘rich'”? I don’t know what counts as the middle class anymore, but it seems like Trump tapped into a bunch of people who had serious financial concerns and paid attention to them. There are so many ways democrats could pair economic concerns with things they value– talking about creating jobs in the clean energy industry for example. I dunno. I don’t feel like there’s a place for me politically either. And I’m scared to admit that.
Fishie
You and me both, sister.
Lana
I identify with so much of this. I’m also in a southern city and think that liberal is very different here than on the coasts. I was shocked at the comment in a thread above that “half” of the young people in this country are socialists. I know of one person from my very liberal (but still southern) undergrad that identifies as a socialist and very few of my peers seem to ever agree with him (and very few supported Bernie).
I wanted to chime in to remind people that you don’t have to vote the party line. I vote in the republican primaries because here the statewide positions go to Republicans and I’d prefer moderate ones. In the general, my ballot is usually 50/50 split. I vote for competency, experience and reasonableness regardless of party.
MargaretO
It’s a statistic, not hyperbole. Something like 52% of people under 30 polled recently said they had a more favorable view of socialism than of capitalism. I live in a state that voted for Trump, not in the northeast.
Anonymous
they both spend a ton of money. Rs spend it on defense contractors and tax breaks. I’d rather it was spent on social programs.
Emmer
I don’t live in the south but I 100% agree with the sentiment that how you view liberalism/conservatism depends totally on where you live and with whom you socialize. I consider myself a mainstream Dem; fiscally, I am pro- social programs but am still a staunch capitalist and believe in the power of the free market. HRC’s policies were right in line with mine, mostly. My beliefs are run-of-the-mill among the other lawyers I know in Chicago, DC and NY. But when I visit the West Coast, I feel downright conservative for saying I support capitalism; when I visit my family in a small midwestern (but still blue-ish) city, I feel like a bleeding heart lefty for using the term “white privilege.” It’s all quite strange, and definitely a side effect of the “big tent” of the Dems.
anon
I relate to what you’re saying. I consider myself a moderate, leaning slightly to the left because of social issues, but I’m considered crazy liberal in my very red state. I’m registered as a Democrat because I absolutely could not stomach how the religious right co-opted the Republican party over the last decade. However — the Bernie Sanders-style economic plan goes way too far and is completely impractical.
Where’s the party for pragmatic people who also believe in social justice? I don’t think there is one.
Emmer
That is what the mainstream Democratic Party is! The Bernie wing is not the majority (though it is a sizable minority). Please stay in the party and vote in primaries for candidates that support your views!
Anonymous
+1 The Bernie wing is vocal, but they’re a minority. Most Dems I know describe themselves the way you did (and I’m in my 20s).
Anonymous
I was in a recent online discussion with a group of female lawyers about this issue. It’s something I think about a lot. My family is R, but slightly Trumpy R (so not traditional R). My mom is fairly D, but still a little skittish about LGBTQ issues. We’re from MA and my mom is a huge Warren fan but I think it’s mostly because she feels like she never got to hold her own against powerful men and so she loves Warren’s antics. I went to a super D, very hippie private high school. And now I’m…Libertarian? I struggle with this because dealing with political leanings is part of my work, and there are so very few women who identify as Libertarian (so very few people who are not white men who identify as Libertarian) which is kind of weird because so much of First Wave feminism dovetailed with Libertarianism. But if it’s all pothead white dudes in ponytails with tin foil hat theories, it’s hard to convince other types that this is the right idea. (And to be clear, Libertarianism =/= Anarchism or Anarcho-Capitalism).
The group of lawyers I was talking with had lots of people who felt like they were more “conservative” on financial issues — where does the money come from for these programs? are they actually helping? do government programs wind up catering to big money interests anyway? why are we putting our children in debt? — but “liberal” on social issues — gay marriage is great! everyone should have contraception! safe abortions are vital to women’s health! But there’s no good place for these people. I’m optimistic the parties will shift. I know so many people in this camp. And the youngest Rs I know (people in their 20s into early 30s) are Rs for financial issues and are moderate on social issues to the point of holding views that would be considered wildly liberal just 15 years ago (e.g., supporting gay marriage).
anon.
Hello! Another female libertarian here. Everyone is very for all of the “social programs” but what does that actually mean? It seems like people don’t care where the money comes from or actually goes, as long as it’s supporting their pet cause. There are a lot of pet causes and only so much of other people’s money (aka my money) to throw around. I’m sick of it.
Sarabeth
I support strong social programs and it’s my tax money too. I get that you don’t support them, but enough of this “other people’s money” BS. It’s entirely possible to support a strong social safety net and be personally willing to pay significant taxes in service of that goal. I’m in a high enough tax bracket that it does effect me, but I am willing to do it because I care about the life chances of people other than myself.
Torin
You are also me!
FWIW I think part of this feeling that we don’t belong has to do with the way politicians pitch their programs. I look at government spending like this: what does the data show about how effective the program is? (this btw is why government data is important and why Trump’s attempts to undermine it’s credibility at every turn are extremely troubling; see also every five thirty eight podcast in the past 6 months) If we decide the program is effective and it’s something we want, how are we going to pay for it? I feel like this is an extremely reasonable, fact-based way of thinking about government spending but yet somehow this is not how these issues when they come up in “debates” and it’s not how they’re reported on in mainstream news. I find it off-putting but I don’t think it necessarily has to do with a misalignment in party-affiliations. I think it has to do with a dumbening of political rhetoric coming out of stump speeches and the like. (I am very, very, very much looking at you Donald Trump.)
Miss
I am much more fiscally conservative than most of the Democratic Party and that’s why I was never a Bernie supporter. I also differ with Democrats on gun control and several other issues. But you have to weigh what is important to you. And to me, social liberties are critically important. (Plus I’ve always lived in very red states where the Republicans are insanely conservative and want to regulate every aspect of women’s bodies while doing backroom deals to help themselves and their cronies.)
Besides, the Democrats seem to be more fiscally responsible than the Republicans lately—or has everyone already forgotten that we had a balanced budget before George W took office and decided to do massive tax cuts while spending tons of money starting an unnecessary war in the Middle East? Trump is no better. At the end of the day, I’d rather my taxes go to social programs than starting wars.
Anon
I hate the party system period. I don’t like that these are our choices when clearly there should be a fiscally conservative, socially liberal party. I feel like that’s everyone I know.
Lyssa
Have you considered libertarianism? It’s not exactly socially liberal/fiscally conservative, but it might be closer to you than anything else. Plus it’s pretty exciting right now because we just really hate everyone. :)
But I really think that most thinking people have to accept that they aren’t going to fit perfectly into any party on every single thing. (I call myself a libertarian, but I’m really not great at it, either – and there are basically no rules on libertarianism!) The only time registration really matters is for primaries and if you want to run for office, and even then, not necessarily. I’ve been registered independent all my life, and I don’t think that it’s ever come up once. (We do have open primaries.) So, there’s no shame in just going without any specific affiliation, and putting your efforts (primary voting, volunteering, running for office, etc.) wherever seems most useful at that time and place.
RS
I’m in a similar position to the OP- registered D, but definitely in the more conservative camp. For what it’s worth, there are still Blue Dogs in the House and Senate- granted, far fewer than there have been in previous years (redistricting) and their collective voice is somewhat muted due to their decreased numbers, but they do exist! There is also the New Dem coalition, which is also more moderate than the far left, but not as close to the middle as the Blue Dogs. I would love to see more moderates and this may be a pipe dream, but I’m hoping that people remember to vote in the 2018 midterms and in trying to find a happy medium between extreme right and extreme left elect more members with a Blue Dog mentality!
Amy
I self-identify as a Blue Dog but am losing hope that in 2020 the Dems will NOT run a neo-Socialist candidate like Elizabeth Warren. Because that won’t get Trump out of the White House. I voted for Hillary to keep Trump from winning, not because she really resonated with me as a candidate. The dems need to run a candidate in 2020 that can speak to a broad swath of Americans and get Trump out of there. A neo-socialist is just going to alienate people from the party even further.
I believe in a LOT of what the Libertarian party has to say – basically, most of what happens in American life is not the government’s business, and does not benefit from government interference. But I cannot get behind the Republican Party’s desire to legislate morality. At all. I don’t think I could be in the same room with people who think the government needs to stick its nose into what people are doing in their bedrooms or their doctor’s offices.
Sigh. It’s been a long, long time since I felt like my beliefs were being represented in any stage of government. The rush to extremes on both sides has left a lot of people like myself feeling like there is no place for us in American politics. I feel like there are enough of us out there to make a difference if we could get together, but I don’t think either the Republicans or the Democrats are willing to listen and move back to the center.
CPA Lady
All of this. Completely agree.
Dating a Trump voter, if not a supporter
I have been dating a man for 3 months. He is wonderful. He cooks for me, shovels snow from my driveway, fixes things in my house, gives me small but thoughtful presents, sends me song lyrics, is generous in bed, and generally treats me better than anybody I’ve ever met in 15 years of dating.
Last night he told me that he voted for Donald Trump. I was completely gobsmacked, because if anything HE has been the one to bring up whatever dumb thing Trump did yesterday.
He was clearly really nervous about telling me this, explained somewhat that he thought a DT presidency was required to trigger American re-engagement in politics. He did say that he found DT “vile as a human being.” He seemed fairly embarrassed to tell me about his vote, and when I numbly asked if the current state of affairs is what he expected he grew very quiet and said “no” – perhaps with some shame.
Do I break up with this man? Or do I pursue a relationship with someone with such demonstrably poor judgment? Or do I drill down on his decision-making process, and how?
Thank you hive for your counsel.
lucy stone
Ask him if he’d do it again knowing what we know now. My husband and I are super split politically and have voted for the same candidate once in the four elections we’ve been together, but the non-liberal one of us voted for Gary Johnson the last two times.
HRC always
Yeah normal split party voting is not an issue. My dad voted for Romney last election and it was not a problem or cause for any friction at all. If he had voted for Trump I would feel differently. My bisexual friends father and extended family voted for trump and I know she feels betrayed by her father at least. Her mom voted Clinton.
ohc
This is a really good prompt.
If I were in your shoes, I think I’d also want to unpack the “trigger American re-engagement” impulse. I know I’m not going to articulate this well–and you will be a much better judge, obviously, of whether his thinking trends along these lines generally–but my sense is that a fair number of male voters, and specifically white, hetero, cis, educated male voters, had this same impulse. (Not saying your guy falls into all of those categories, obviously, but just acknowledging that there may be some privilege at play.) It might be worth talking about what allows him to see elections as a tool for jumpstarting that kind of civic consciousness without reflecting too much on how the outcomes of the election may have real life-or-death implications for others.
Anonymous
He voted for DT to “trigger re-engagement in politics”? Um, what does that even mean? I definitely think you need more info, and to be on the lookout for other instances of poor judgment.
Anonymous
For me it would depend on whether he understands how breathtakingly devoid of empathy that decision was. Does he regret relying on his privilege to shield him while throwing those less fortunate to the dogs? Has he learned?
nasty woman
This, and what ohc said. I’ve seen that line of “reasoning” a lot, too.
I would drill down past the vote and consider: do our values align? Values like understanding privilege and social justice, caring about those less fortunate than him, willingness to learn about privilege/social justice, willingness to learn in general, intellectual curiosity, willingness to change one’s mind and consider new opinions. What do you think is the prospect of him coming around? People are not improvement projects (h/t Senior Associate) but people do grow in their political beliefs.
For me it would be a deal breaker because my political beliefs and social justice causes are very important to me. Someone who is a Trump voter is likely to have very different values from me beyond fiscal policy. I can’t imagine sleeping with a man who would risk a SCOTUS that threatens Roe v. Wade. Even if he just “wasn’t aware,” that would be a fundamental incompatibility. No one needs to know everything about everything, but engagement with the world and curiosity are key for me. This sort of ish would also come out on a first or second date with me, so I doubt I’d get to the point of attachment to someone who voted for Trump. Nothing is more seductive to me than a man who can talk about how the reasoning in Hobby Lobby was flawed. Swoon.
Scarlett
+1 – ( & stay away from my husband! You’d love him & I suspect he’d love you right back for the awesome commentary!)
ELS
+1. I married someone who I agreed with on basic politics, not because politics but because values. I also wear my opinions and values on my sleeve/hold them very dear, so it comes up naturally. I absolutely knew the important views of every partner I ever had before I slept with them, because (for me) the stakes are too high.
I settled down with my lovely husband, who is just as enraged as I am about a lot of things right now. He’s got my back, and the backs of other women and POC. It’s really invaluable to me, personally, to have someone who aligns with my social values.
Anonymous
Yeah, I would have more respect for this guy if he had an actual reason. Like he agrees with DT’s agenda on something…anything. But this moron just threw a grenade to see what would happen.
Anonymous
I can’t decide for you but for me personally I think this would be a dealbreaker. One of the best things in my life the last three months has been seeing my husband even more upset about Trump than I am, and willing and eager to march alongside me, call our senators, etc. I can’t imagine how much of a mess I’d be without his support.
Senior Attorney
Yes, I agree that having a partner who is in it with me is an enormous, enormous blessing. My post below is in moderation, but let me add that although I don’t think the vote is necessarily a dealbreaker, I think I’d require repentance at a minimum.
Anon
“I think I’d require repentance at a minimum.”
Honey, you’re not God.
Anonymous
It’s C+rporette. SA kinda is.
Anon
THIS. Not specifically to Senior Attorney but to any one person
Senior Attorney
I get to require whatever I want in a partner. As do you. As does everybody. That’s the nature of relationships and dealbreakers.
ELS
She gets to require what she wants when it comes to whether she continues to see someone. She’s not speaking to the state of his soul. She’s saying whether she’d want to continue to build a life with someone.
Deal breakers are deal breakers. Period.
Anonymous
“I get to require whatever I want.” Intewesting. And not deity-like at all.
Anon
“I get to require whatever I want in a partner. As do you. As does everybody.” So a guy can want a total babe? No harsh comments from SA if he does?
Senior Attorney
He gets to want whatever he wants. I can think his criteria are dumb or sexist or whatever, but he gets to set his own criteria.
I get to want the Trump voter to be repentant. You can think that’s dumb or over-reaching or whatever, but I get to decide what my criteria are.
You can critique the requirements on the merits but I think it’s silly to critique the notion of having requirements.
Anonymous
Repetenance isn’t a criterion. It’s conduct. You actually don’t get to dictate another person’s conduct. I mean you can try…but it won’t end well, just fyi.
Senior Attorney
I don’t get to dictate anybody’s conduct but I totally get to decide that the presence or absence of certain conduct = the presence or absence of me in the relationship.
I’m obviously not articulating this very well because to me it seems like a no-brainer.
Anon
My entire family is Trump supporters. They don’t actually believe all that nonsense – they just get wound up watching Fox News and spout that stuff off, but when you press them on it and ask individual questions, they say, “Oh, no, of course not.” Do I love them even though they’re Trump supporters? Yes! Do I cut them out of my life when they support stupid stuff? No. Because I feel it’s important to have friends and family of differing political views.
This guy isn’t a Trump supporter, he’s a Trump voter, and I think that’s a valid distinction. You’re not dating a guy in a MAGA cap with a Deplorable bumper sticker.
Anon
Agreed.
I wouldn’t dump someone who otherwise seems like a great fit simply because they made a poor voting decision that they now appear ashamed of. I also wouldn’t quiz him to death on it. Instead, just observe how he treats women, minorities, people with less advantages than him, etc. That should tell you what you need to know.
ELS
I’m gonna push back just a little.
I want to know what he meant by “trigger re-engagement in politics.” And not because of Trump, necessarily, but because, if he actually thought that the ideas Trump espoused were worth it to get people to call their representatives again, he and I would have very different values.
Note: this is not about party for me. My family are all Republicans, and I am very much not. For me, it is about the complete lack of stability that DJT displayed and continues to display.
Ellen
I agree. I wish I had a man who does this for me. I am not perfect either. He may not have thought about it, or he didn’t like HRC, but he IS entitled to his opinion, even if he now regrets it. If he is good and he is good for you, go for him and marry him quick b/c there are so many guys who will just want to get you into bed, and then walk once you have s-x with him. He sounds good to me. I would MARRY him! YAY!
Senior Attorney
I’d have discussions about it. If he’d do it again, I think that would be a deal-breaker. But if he did it because he was misguided or ignorant and is seeing the error of his ways and getting woke, then that’s another story. People can learn and change and know better and do better. And if he treats you right, that’s a great start.
Senior Attorney
And what on earth put that post into moderation, do you suppose?
Anonymous
Not sure but some of my posts have been slow to come up today as well. Wondering if something is being tweaked behind the scenes to try to address occasional trollish issues.
Anon
the word i g nor ant. I hit it twice today.
Senior Attorney
Ah. I wondered if that was it.
Sydney Bristow
I was in moderation this morning too and cannot figure out why. I’m normally able to pick out the reason if I look at it long enough but I have no idea what it was today.
Sloan Sabbith
“B e t t e r” ?
Senior Attorney
Let’s see:
Better
Senior Attorney
Let’s see:
Better
Anon
I would ask him if HE is now re-engaged. Has he called his representatives? Marched? Boycotted?
Anon
Might or might not be a deal breaker.
Sure, it was a dumb thing to do … but does he regret it?
Is he actively contacting his representatives to express his displeasure with the current state of affairs?
What “policies” (to the extent one can even discern what they were) prompted him to vote DT? BECAUSE DJT was a racist, or IN SPITE OF?
I think answers to these might give you an idea of where to go from here.
Jeffiner
Is he engaged in politics? Does he support the Muslim ban? Is he pro-choice? Does he believe in climate change? Is he willing to make phone calls to Congress? To go to protests? To encourage voter turnout?
Maybe he thought DT wouldn’t do all the stupid things he said during his campaign. And he has a point, the election has re-engaged a lot of people in politics.
If his values align more with yours than DT’s, then pursue the relationship. I think voting for a terrible person for president is something he can recover from. Its hard to find a great guy, my list of dealbreakers is pretty short.
Frozen Peach
Unless he’s a lawyer or works in politics, I don’t think of this as a deal-breaker. A lot of people really didn’t believe or understand what was going to happen if Trump was elected. Not an excuse, but I don’t think Trump voters always = bad people who should never be associated with again. He sounds like a great guy!
Anonymous
“A lot of people really didn’t believe or understand what was going to happen if Trump was elected.”
I could never date someone who was so disengaged that they didn’t understand the consequences of a Muslim ban or rolling back healthcare or blocking pro-choice rights.
Anonymous
This.
Anonymous
I’m sure they didn’t understand, and that’s fine. But assuming OP is looking for marriage I wouldn’t be inclined to hitch my financial future to someone that short-sighted (best case) or dumb (worst case). You will be making big decisions as a couple. Pick someone who is a good decider.
anon
+1 but substitute “stupid” for “disengaged”
Anonnyc
BINGO
MargaretO
“he thought a DT presidency was required to trigger American re-engagement in politics”
…..is he an accelerationist marxist?
Anonymous
voter = supporter because that’s literally how democracy works. Your vote is providing your support to a candidate.
Does he regret his vote now? How does he feel about the ban or Bannon on the NSC? What has he done to actively oppose those things?
I could never date someone who voted for Trump and wasn’t guilt ridden and actively working to right that wrong by calling his senator/congressperson, donating to resistance causes like Planned Parenthood or ACLU or otherwise actively working to oppose the awfulness that is DJT. Just saying he regrets his vote wouldn’t be enough for me. That’s easy – the real work is in changing the effects of what he has done.
ELS
+1.
Anon
Dump him! He deserves someone who will not reduce his entire person and character to how you define him by his vote.
lol
Harsh, but yeah, I agree. Based on conversations here the past few months, I should divorce my husband and stop speaking to my parents, co-workers, and friends based solely on their vote for one office in one election. I’ll ignore who I otherwise know them to be from a lifetime of words and actions.
Anonymous
+1 but you forget seeking therapy
AEK
For me, deal breaker. DT showed exactly who he was throughout the campaign. Those who disregarded it or rationalized it were being willfully blind and painfully naive if they thought they’d get anything else. And they did it at the peril of the entire country.
Anonymous
Yup, this.
Anonymous
Agree. And maybe OP just needs to accept that her boyfriend is a little bit simple and easily led. I would have trouble respecting that, but maybe she can be the brains of the operation. It sounds like he is a good person otherwise, although at three months it is still early and you never know what other skeletons are out there. I dated a guy who lied about filing for bankruptcy. Otherwise nice guy, but had issues with impulse control and evaluating consequences of his actions.
Anon
You need to find out if he voted for DT because he can’t handle women aspiring to power. There are a lot of men who viscerally hated HRC and gave lots of reasons for it but this was really the issue. She was an ambitious woman asking to be their boss.
That would be a huge deal breaker for me. He may treat you like a princess but would not be comfortable with you as queen. Get you a man who can do both.
Anon
I dumped him. 4 months for me. I knew about it in October but I just didn’t think it would happen. Then when it did, the resentment build slowly and became unfair. But same, nicest most generous guy. Not smart enough though. I need an equal mate on some levels. We don’t have to agree but I can’t be with someone who bases all their choices on what the NRA says and having a conservative supreme court “just in case”.
Anonymous
It’s a bit like that thing people say about don’t date a man who is nice to you but horrible to the waiter, only the waiter is anyone in America who is an immigrant, not white, not straight, not male, not 100% healthy. He’s shown you something important about who he is – what will he show you five years down the line when he doesn’t care if he’s impressing you or not any more?
Senior Attorney
Yeah, this is a great point.
Anonymous
My dad always used to say the thing about the waiter :) And I like your analogy.
Anonymous
Dude is 100% correct (perhaps unintentionally). Trump’s winning has triggered a landslide of reengagement in politics. Look at the # of hits on corporette compared to October. Look at the march on DC. Perhaps not what he meant. But you can’t argue that people are energized in a way they weren’t on the Monday before the nation voted.
If you are in Ohio (etc.), perhaps what he said is shorthand for “I’m tired of Latte Town issues dominating HRC’s campaign. She said she wanted to shut down coal mines and I’m worried she means it. I’m tired of seeing people I know get hooked on pills and ruining their lives and their families’ lives. Someone needs to pay attention to this.”
It’s like flying the flag upside down — I see Trump voters as people in accute distress who found that Hope and Change didn’t help their problems and were desperate for any port in a storm (and didn’t see that in HRC).
Maybe this explains it?
Scarlett
I couldn’t do it, I’d have to dump. I have always dated people I’ve aligned with politically, but these days I cannot emphasize enough how important it’s been to me to be married to someone who is just as upset as I am and who thinks progressively. I can’t imagine fighting the battles I read on facebook in my own home.
Anonymous
Oh my goodness. Thank you for posting this! I’ve been meaning to ask a similar (hypothetical) question. I know new boyfriend has historically been a Republican and I’m worried to find out if he voted Trump because he is also the most wonderful guy I’ve dated and a great fit for me.
Anonymous
Fwiw though, my parents are ideologically split (dad rep, mom dem) so I’m used to seeing this play out successfully (but dad also voted Gary Johnson). My personal politics are important to me but I’ve always been able to love and respect people who thought differently, especially because I believe a lot of it is based on our background and how/where we were raised / educated.
Anonymous
I don’t know who my husband vote for. It’s private. If you’d dump him because of who he voted for, he should run fast and far.
Anonymous
I can’t even begin to imagine this level of non communication with a spouse. Boggle.
Anon
My grandparents were married for over 50 years and a good model of marriage for me. They did not tell each other who they voted for. My mom told me one was R and one was D.
lasik tips?
I’m scheduled to get LASIK on both eyes next week. This feels pretty momentous, after several decades with contacts. I am also a little anxious, simply because, well, these are the only eyes I’ll get. (Even though I know that statistically there is very little chance of an issue.) Any tips from those who have gone through this?
Anon
I’m sure you’ll get better replies than mine but I want to tell you about my friend. She wore contacts and had a high prescription. When her contacts bothered her she wore coke bottle glasses that distorted her face. Without her glasses or contacts she was nearly blind.
She told all of us a story of when she was traveling. Someone knocked on the door of her hotel room when she was sleeping. Her contacts were soaking in the bathroom. In her surprise at the knock she reached for her glasses on the bedside table and accidentally swept them to the floor. She was crawling around on the floor of her hotel room trying to find her glasses and could not, and someone was knocking on her door in the middle of the night in a foreign country (definitely not a first world country.) She was panicked AND blind and she felt that if the person had broken in, she wouldn’t be able to see well enough to defend herself.
She had the same feeling as you do (this is your only set of eyes) but she decided she could not live her life like this any longer and had the procedure. She says she should have done it years ago. Her procedure was somewhat more involved than traditional LASIK and her vision is not perfect now, but she van get around easily without her glasses.
(PS the knocking eventually stopped. She never knew who it was)
lasik tips?
I’m so glad you added the postscript, because I was really wondering what happened with the knocking!
Thank you–this is comforting. I’m not as blind as your friend but I’ve had so many issues with contacts (which, for a variety of annoying reasons, are better for my day-to-day than glasses, despite the fact that I keep developing allergies either to the contacts or to the hypoallergenic solution). So I empathize with her sense that my pre-procedure correction really isn’t tenable in the case of an emergency.
Anonymous
Do you happen to know what your friend’s prescription was? Mine has finally settled down but it’s pretty high (-5.5 right and -9.0 left) – I don’t know anyone else who’s gotten it who is as nearsighted as I am. (Without my glasses I can’t even read and I bump into corners of things! I’d love to be able to at least get around my house properly.)
mascot
Mine was -5.5R and -6.5L. Post surgery, I am 20/20 and 20/25. It was a game changer.
Anonymous
I’m -10 in both eyes, and am legally blind (corrected by contacts or glasses though). I’ve gone to several specialists, and LASIK is not available to me based on my high prescription — with LASIK, they “scrape” (?) your cornea, and I think the cornea is not thick enough when your eyes are at a high prescription. There is another surgery (possibly with that person had?) that can be done, but it’s not perfect. I’ve been told I can possibly get to a -2 or -3 at best. Haven’t pulled the trigger because I keep hoping the techniques will improve, but this is what I’ve heard for the last 10 years or so.
anon at 3:11
That sounds like what I was told by my eye doctor last time I asked. I was hoping techniques would have improved/it would get less expensive in time, but it seems to be going pretty slowly in both areas. Blah.
I’m happy enough with contacts but I wish LASIK was a more viable option.
Anonymous
LASIK – imagine your cornea has 4 layers. Layer 1 is the flap that is cut and peeled back, so that a laser can burn away tissue in layers 2/3 to create the correct shape to focus on your retina. You don’t want to touch layer 4 at all. Layer 1 is then laid across the eye again to protect the portions of the cornea that were reshaped.
There’s an alternate procedure (similar acronym, but starts with a P?) where the laser correction is done to layers 1/2/3 (as needed) and then the patient wears a protective lens initially as the cornea heals. I believe this is the procedure used when you need more of the cornea available in order to make the necessary correction.
The technique used and the likelihood of success are really dependent on the shape and thickness of the cornea.
Meara
I had a -14 in both eyes. So no LASIK for me. I had ICL surgery, which is basically what they do for cataracts (inserting a new lens) without taking off a cataract first. It’s been…four? Years now. And so the best money I’ve ever spent. My vision is now about -0.5 in both eyes? I don’t need glasses, but occasionally find them helpful, mostly I have several pairs because it was so fun to buy $15 glasses online!
a millenial
@Meara, can you speak to the implications of ICL for future issues? like what if i develop cataracts when i’m older, can i still get the same surgeries? im curious because i’m -10-11 in both eyes and allergic to contacts but know lasik isnt an option.
Meara
I’m not certain (I got it when I was about 35? So cataracts are hopefully long in the future) but my understanding is yes, they could in theory pull out the lens they put in and put a new one in (I was worried about that, in part because I could have these in my eyes for 30 or 40 years?) or do cataract surgery. In fact, my doctor suggested that if I didn’t like the results (I have a minor astigmatism, that the lenses weren’t approved for at the time) I could even get lasik to complement it, though I haven’t further researched that. I think my surgery was about $5500 (which included consultations and follow up visits) plus the eye drops after (which were hella expensive and added another few hundred dollars). Still the best money spent.
FrankieCat
Do they usually do both eyes in such a short period? When a friend had hersdone two years ago (went to a top doctor in LA) he suggested one at a time if I wanted to be safe.I thinkthe next was 6 months later.
Mpls
I had both of my eyes done at the same time (as did my brothers and dad) when we had our LASIK done 10-15 years ago. And it was probably 5 minutes total under the laser to do both eyes.
Anon
I’m the person with the story about my friend. I can’t find her email where she told me her prescription pre surgery and she’s traveling right now. All I know is that is wasn’t traditional LASIK and she had it done one eye at a time. Her vision is not perfect now but it’s pretty good and she can easily find her glasses if she drops them.
I mainly told the story not to advocate for LASIK specifically but to make the point that having at least serviceable vision is a big deal and in my opinion worth the very tiny risk of bad outcomes.
Delta Dawn
I had LASIK and consider it one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. It’s a little uncomfortable but doesn’t hurt. I was very nervous beforehand, and even anxious afterwards when I couldn’t see for a while (as part of the normal recovery that day). It’s just unnerving to think something may have gone wrong and you can’t yet tell– even though, as you said, that is incredibly unlikely.
As far as tips, just have a friend drive you home, and make sure you have some comfortable/comforting things around that will make you feel better. Have the next couple of meals ready (either in the fridge or plans for someone to bring you takeout). Have your fuzziest robe and coziest socks ready by your bed. Wear comfy clothes to the procedure, and I don’t know if this is true everywhere, but it was freezing in the room where I had it done– so wear cozy layers. I wore leggings, a cotton tunic, and a snuggly long cardigan. You could also have things at the ready to take a bubble bath when you wake up after the drugs wear off– I set up a little box with bath salts, scrub brush, scented candle, etc., and when I woke up I took a relaxing bath.
Just remind yourself of the very very high success rate and focus on being comfy and cozy! It still amazes me every day that I can wake up and SEE. You will be so happy you did this.
mascot
I did it last year and kicked myself for not doing it sooner. So worth it. The procedure didn’t hurt, but it was uncomfortable (the pressure). You can survive anything for 5 minutes so breathe and focus your thoughts on something other than what is happening. Take the valium that they offer beforehand. When you get done, go home and take a nap. A couple of hours of sleep is the best thing at that point. Your distance vision will be good, but you won’t be able to read or watch tv yet so might as well let your eyes rest. When you wake up from your nap, the pain will be much less. Stay on top of the schedule for drops. I went back to work the day after, although taking a day off isn’t a bad idea or at least cutting down on staring at your computer for a whole day. Finally, your vision will change subtly over the next few weeks and your eyes may not correct to exactly the same degree. It’s a little annoying at first (similar to wearing an underpowered contact) but it settles down and you stop noticing it. It may take you a month or two before you stop waking up thinking that you slept with your contacts in! What is that glowy thing in my room? The clock- I’d never seen it before.
anon
How much did it cost you? Any recs for the Atlanta area?
mascot
Just under $3k I think. I didn’t have it done in Atlanta, but I’d go one of the big practices for it (Woolfson or the like). You want someone who has done thousands/tens of thousands of eyes.
anon
Good to know – thanks!
Midtown ATL Attorney
I had mine done at the Emory Eye Center about 2 years ago, and I wish I’d done it years ago! I can’t remember how much it was, but I remember thinking it was expensive but worth it for my eyes. I finally had it done because I couldn’t tolerate wearing contacts anymore. I had the procedure at the St. Joseph’s location and then went for my checkup a month later at the main Emory location. They were really outstanding–always very nice (they even held my hand because I was so anxious during the procedure), and the procedure was not at all painful (although the pressure freaked me out–should have taken the Valium!). Emory Eye Center has done LASIK for multiple Atlanta Braves players, so I figured they knew what they were doing!
waffles
I had LASIK a few years ago, and it’s definitely one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. My prescription was around -7 in each eye before, and has been a stable 20-20 ever since the procedure. The surgery didn’t hurt, but my eyes were definitely uncomfortable for the rest of the day.
You’ve already got good advice here. Have a friend drive you home. Bring very dark sunglasses for the trip, as you’ll be sensitive to light. Try to take a nap after the procedure. Make sure you understand the drops schedule (I was pretty nervous before my procedure so only half-listened to the explanations – not realizing my eyes would be too sore to re-read the instructions afterwards!).
I also went back to work the day after my LASIK, and my eyes felt back to normal after a couple days. I also agree, it took me a long time to get over the feeling that I had not fallen asleep with my contacts in!
Bionic Eye Girl
IT’S AMAZING AND HAS CHANGED MY LIFE FOR THE BETTER.
I did it 8 years ago and wish I could have done it even earlier in life.
From time to time – I *think* I see halos around bright lights when driving at nighttime – never to the point where I feel dangerous or that I’m going to crash my car or anything. But enough that I maybe think I notice it? Who knows. Mere occasional discomfort is SO WORTH having these amazing eyes of mine.
Blind Mouse
Any recs in DC?? Double astigmatic, so sick of glasses/ contacts, ready to have it done, but risk-averse chicken over here….Please tell me who is great in DC (or Va or Md) for this?
Bionic Eye Girl
me me! Sonny Goel @ LASIK Plus did mine – in Columbia MD.
Brunchtastic
In Northern VA, would highly recommend Dr Boutros!
Anonymous
I had -5.something for both eyes, and LASIK was the best. I wish I had done it earlier. It took a couple days to recover, and I think I had to wear sunglasses when outside for a week or so, and use eye drops frequently for a few weeks or months. I had the procedure done on a Friday afternoon because I was told not to use screens for a couple days afterward. I have 20/20 vision now. One thing I wish somebody would have told me was that during the procedure, in addition to feeling pressure, my eyes momentarily went dark, which seriously freaked me out. So, don’t assume you are going blind if/when that happens to you.
Scarlett
I was sold on the idea when I found out all the optometrists in my doctor’s office had it done recently. I need to get around to seeing if I’m a candidate. I’ve heard you have to wear glasses for a period of time before you get it done & no eye makeup for a while after – it might be vain, but does anyone know how long these restrictions last? I’d like to plan for a low-impact time.
cake batter
I think I had to wear glasses for a week before one of the measuring exams and another week before surgery. No eye makeup for maybe a week or two afterwards to avoid infection. Also no swimming in lakes or getting your eyes wet in a pool or hot tub.
cake batter
I just got lasik about six months ago and am so happy with the results. I’m now 20/15 in both eyes. The strangest “side effect” was that it took me several months to stop the muscle reflex of reaching for my glasses when I woke up or reaching up towards my eyes to take out my contacts at night! I second everyone else’s advice to take the next day off work to relax. Also, wear REALLY good sunglasses. My eyes were insanely light sensitive for about three months post surgery, to the point where I couldn’t open my eyes outside without sunglasses.
Anon
Can someone explain what the appeal is of renting an AirBNB or VRBO house/apartment on vacation, rather than staying at a hotel? Saw the thread this morning re someone who invested in one and I truly don’t get why anyone would want to stay at one. Sure there are some locations – like beaches and mountains – that have fewer hotels that major cities; but still I’ve never been anyplace that didn’t have any hotels anywhere within 20 min. Is it bc everyone else cooks on vacation? Bc cooking and cleaning are just about the last thing I want to do while away. Yet it seems like you’d have to – bc you don’t even get maid service in a home rental. Not to mention – you have no idea what condition the place will be in when you get there. Every place photographs nicely – but you have no idea if/when they ever clean; whereas a Marriott 4 star – it’s pretty consistent and if you check in and the room doesn’t look clean to you, you ask to switch rooms or even switch hotels. You know when it’s owned by an individual investor, they are skimping on cleaning and maintenance — i.e. going with the cheapest cleaning service in town; washing bedding as infrequently as possible; not paying for a property manager bc who wants to eat the cost of that etc. and often these investors are 1000s of miles away from their property so they aren’t there to oversee it. What the heck is the appeal – just a kitchen??
Anonymous
Kids are my reason. If I had to eat in a restaurant with 3 kids, 3 times a day, I would never take a vacation.
No idea why someone without kids would stay there unless they were staying in a big group and cooking/cleaning was included.
ELS
We rent a house when we go to the beach for a few reasons.
1) Privacy. We want to be able to come and go as we please, not worry about neighbors, etc.
2) Groups. We typically go to the beach in the late summer with a group of friends, not just us. Some of them have kids. There are usually about 10-15 of us. We all want to hang out and have a good time, and it’s untenable to do so in a hotel with that many people.
3) Related to number 2: it’s hard to get that many people together at a restaurant for meals. Not that we all always eat together or do the same stuff, but the convenience of having a kitchen is nice for those with kids/those of us who just don’t want to eat out for every meal.
4) Cost. Even when we went by ourselves last year, we rented a small cottage because it ended up being cheaper than a hotel with less space. We were more comfortable, had more room, could bring our dog, and didn’t have to eat out for every meal if we didn’t want to, because there was a kitchen.
That said, I don’t AirBNB at the beach. I book through a local management company that we trust and have used for years.
Pen and Pencil
+1 to all of this. I go on vacations with friends who want to drink and not be worried if we get a little rowdy. It is way cheaper than a hotel, so everyone can afford to come. Depending on the location we cook about half of our meals (usually breakfast and lunch) and then go out for dinner. We also like to go hiking, so oftentimes we are in remote locations. The hotels in remote locations are gross and usually further away from the trails than cabins. I would also refute that owners don’t keep up the cabin. I have never rented one that wasn’t anything but spotless inside. I have definitely been to small town hotels that had hair in the bed. Also one of our favorite things to do is to get a cabin with a porch so we can watch the sunset and see the deer in the morning, which really isn’t something you get at a hotel.
Anonymous
+1. We also travel off the beaten path a lot, and there literally are not hotels around. Or, even if there is a resort on a mountain lake or on the Eastern shore (where we go most frequently), I want solitude – a front porch looking at a quiet lake and a hot tub shared only by my husband and me. I don’t love confining my children to a tiny hotel room and worrying they are keeping up the neighboring rooms or fighting for a spot on the beach — I want a wrap around porch, with an unobstructed view of a yard where my kids are playing and can sit by the water while they run around and no paying for/reserving canoes or kayaks (*Note this all goes out the window when it’s just my husband and I traveling a destination beach – like the Caribbean). Also — nap time. I like to sit by the water with a drink listening to the monitor. In a hotel, I’m stuck in a dark room with them.
I grew up spending my summers at a “lake house” (fishing shack, no indoor plumbing) on a tiny, nearly deserted lake in Minnesota, so I’m sure that influenced my preferences. I will say, I have traded peace and quiet for some truly crappy houses. My husband and I have talked about buying something small on a body of water that we can renovate because I get so sick of dirty duds.
JuniorMinion
I have stayed in them and enjoyed where I have stayed. Sometimes it is for better location purposes (not many hotels out in the middle of vineyards unless you want to spend $$$$), sometimes it is so I can cook more / not spend both the $ and the calories / nutritional impact of eating 3 meals every single day out, and sometimes it is due to lower costs associated with Airbnb. Everywhere I have stayed through Airbnb has been cleaned before our arrival and I have never felt like the place I was staying in was dirty.
I will also say that I value privacy a lot and have found I get a bit more of that with Airbnb which has been nice. I’m not someone who is super stressed about everything being spotless so I probably have less of the cleaning etc worries.
Anonymous
Cooking and cleaning is included in some of them, fwiw. My husband and I prefer hotels and are fine eating out three meals a day, but my parents like condos. They want to be able to go out for one big meal a day and then eat leftovers or light food at home the rest of the time, so the kitchen is a big selling point for them. As far as quality, there are lots of review s!tes and, at least in places like Hawaii where VRBO is super popular, you can find them written up in the guidebooks. I’m not sure there’s significantly more variation in quality than there is with hotels.
Anonymous
I’m cheap, I don’t want my bedding washed every day anyway, and I’m an introvert who doesn’t want to have to deal with other people for every need. I can afford a nicer, more convenient rental place than I can a hotel. I don’t see the point of eating out for every meal.
I’m also not accustomed to “nice” hotels as my family preferred vacation rentals when I was growing up. If you’ve gotten used to vacationing that way, I can see why rentals wouldn’t make sense to you.
(But really, I can’t afford a hotel.)
Anonymous
If you’ve got a group, it’s usually a lot more affordable than doing a bunch of hotel rooms.
Anon
When I am on vacation I don’t want to be around other people.
I don’t want to have to clear out of my room to allow the cleaning ladies to come in. Especially when my kids were really little and it messed with their nap times.
I want a little separation from my family and I don’t want the only bathroom to be in the middle of our small room. (If you lived with my husband you’d understand.)
I don’t want to go out for every meal. I want to be able to have a bunch of wine with dinner and not worry about driving.
I want to be able to sit on the deck and look at the trees or the ocean or whatever and not be surrounded by other guests doing the same.
I don’t want to play that game where I have to get up early and claim my lounge chair with a towel and then worry all day that someone is going to steal my chair.
I’m sure I will think of more reasons but basically, I’m a house renter for life.
Blonde Lawyer
My husband and I both have food issues and every time we eat in a restaurant it can be a roll of the dice if one of us will be sick after. He also really enjoys cooking and shopping and cooking on vacation is fun to him. I’m not a fan of cleaning but throwing dishes in the dish washer doesn’t take long and if it means we are both relaxed and pain free it is worth it to me. We still eat out a few times on the trip but we go to carefully vetted places and it is still stressful. Further, it is cheaper and easier even without food issues to grab breakfast and lunch in the condo/house. I’d rather get up, scramble some eggs, eat on the patio looking at the ocean in my pj’s rather than getting up, showered, brush my teeth, and to a restaurant for breakfast. I hate OJ after brushing my teeth!
Blonde Lawyer
Also, other than dishes, we don’t clean on vacation. If I’m just there a week, the place doesn’t need to be dusted or vacuumed or anything like that during that time.
Anonymous
I am with you. We have borrowed vacation homes from close family members, but I will never stay in some random stranger’s house. Rental houses are just icky. Even the family homes skeeve me out sometimes (hello, mouse droppings in the kitchen drawers!). And when I go on vacation, I only want to cook if we are with a big group of extended family. I’m not cooking for just the three of us on vacation–I do that every day at home.
I won’t stay in a dirty hotel either. I know hotels aren’t perfect, but some of them at least pretend to wash the duvet covers after every guest.
Amy
I’m glad someone else feels this way. I get totally squicked out at the idea of staying in someone else’s regular, daily home. I don’t even stay with my parents because I can’t deal with the differences in cleanliness standards, organization, temperature settings on the thermostat, etc. One of the biggest luxuries in life, for me, is when you walk into a hotel room and shut the door and are totally alone. No one else is allowed to come in unless you let them in. Hard to feel that way when you are staying in someone’s home. We have periodically rented timeshares/commercial condos if we go on vacation and want to cook (and if there are laundry facilities, hallelujah. I love being able to do laundry on vacation so you don’t have to pack a million things). But I’ve never done AirBnB and never will.
Last summer a group of friends and our families rented a vacation home together for a long weekend. It was a family’s summer home so they didn’t live there full-time, but I was still irritated/grossed out by things like not-totally-clean towels and not-fully-washed pans put back in the cabinet. If that happens in a hotel, you call the front desk and they apologize and make things right. Not so much in someone’s home. You just have to live with it while you’re there; your only recourse is to write a bad review post-vacation. No thanks. To each their own but I am a die-hard hotel/rental condo girl.
Torin
I don’t think you “know” the things you’ve listed as knowns though re cleanliness. AirBnB and VRBO have really robust ratings systems, and people definitely mention cleanliness in the reviews. I’ve used both and have never stayed at a place that wasn’t clean. And if it’s not clean, you can complain to AirBnB and get your money back.
I like staying at them for price and privacy, but I rarely use the kitchens. Even at expensive hotels, I pretty much always hate the breakfast options. I’d rather go to a grocery store and buy a bag of granola and some decent yoghurt than eat whatever gross or overpriced items are served at hotel breakfasts. I also object to eating breakfast in anything other than my pajamas.
As for cleaning while I’m staying there, I don’t need my bed made during the day, and only really need sheets and towels cleaned once a week. Paying a premium at a chain hotel for having someone make the bed and launder the sheets and towels excessively doesn’t make fiscal sense to me.
Anon
I agree. I’ve stayed at much cleaner house rentals than hotel rooms (please do not remind me of the Newark Airport Hyatt.)
I use a rental service and read the reviews carefully before I choose.
Constant Reader
>>I also object to eating breakfast in anything other than my pajamas.
One of my best vacation experiences was an Airbnb in Rome. Lovely apartment with a moka pot on the stove so I could make stovetop espresso in my PJs with the right amount of steamed milk whenever I damn well pleased.
Also agree with the cleanliness and privacy issues. I have yet to stay in a indifferently cleaned Airbnb but have stayed in plenty of indifferently cleaned hotel rooms belonging to major chains.
Anonymous
A hotel room is for two people. A house/apt is for a group of people – easy space to hang out, etc and is usually nicer. Rentals are professionally cleaned.
Anon
The kitchen, yes. It’s cosier than a generic hotel. You can save a lot of money, depending on where you’re travelling. I’ve gotten great local tips from hosts, especially on where to eat.
Actuary
Kitchen, room to spread out, laundry, multiple bathrooms, privacy – especially nice when you have kids or a large group but I rented even before I had kids and just me + husband and still preferred this to hotels
Also cost is generally much lower if I’m staying for a week versus a comparable hotel
Maybe I’ve been lucky? I’ve been renting vrbo for lots of years and almost all places I’ve stayed are clean and as nice as advertised with property managers / owners who are very responsive. I generally stay at more expensive rentals though so they have cleaning fees, are professionally managed, etc and I read the reviews extensively
Anonymous
My husband and I have used AirBnB to stay in major European cities and just booked a trip to Spain using them in 3 different cities. It’s (generally) cheaper than a hotel, and in my opinion, much nicer than staying in a stuffy hotel. I get to stay in a real neighborhood, not the tourist district. I think it’s part of the experience of immersing yourself in the culture of the place you’re going. I never cook so I don’t care about the kitchen. Generally, you don’t really need to do much more than take out trash, wipe down counters, etc., so I don’t consider that cleaning. Most places charge a cleaning fee and note that they have a cleaning service. I do my research and stay in well-reviewed places. If they were dirty, people would definitely not leave 4 and 5 star reviews. You can also find unique places. The one place I just booked in Barcelona has a terrace with a sauna and hot tub. The place I booked in Seville has a terrace that overlooks the cathedral.
Tetra
+1. The AirBnBs I stayed at in Europe all came with cute handmade guide books, were in fabulous neighborhoods, and were way cheaper than hotels. With some of them, the host picked us up from the train station and showed us around, and it felt way more personal than a hotel would have. Plus I always have fun grocery shopping in other countries.
Amy H.
+2! Love exploring grocery stores in other countries, and pretending I’m a local living in a local neighborhood if only for a week. Plus — so much more room! I stayed in an amazing 2BR 2BA apt. right on the Zattere in Venice for less than nearly any hotel (which are nearly all in areas that are mobbed with people 24/7).
marketingchic
Cost, kids (to some extent) and food allergies. If money were no option and restaurants were safe for us, you bet I’d be at a hotel.
Scarlett
I like to stay in apartments/flats more in foreign countries, mostly because I’m usually there longer & yes, over time, I like to have a kitchen so I don’t have to eat every meal out. I also like to stay in a neighborhood rather than the parts of town where big hotels are clustered – it helps me feel “local”. I usually don’t end up saving tons over a hotel – it’s often a little cheaper to stay in a vacation rental, but if you spend a little closer to a hotel you can avoid the cleanliness issues you’re concerned with. I don’t tend to do it for short trips or anything with a moving target on dates because they’re harder to cancel.
ANON
Why do you care? It’s obviously not for you.
Nudibranch
When you’re dealing with a big group (10 for us), a condo is so much nicer. We can cook, eat, share or separate, carpool or not….it’s great and the cost is lower/bigger bang for our buck.
Condos
Any regret stories on buying your condo? Why?
I am single, life long renter. Landlord offered to sell quick the condo I have happily been renting foe 3 years. Good deal and perfect for now, but older building with no parking space and some issues, so resale is the major downside for me.
Would like to hear your stories.
AZCPA
If you don’t wish to live there forever (well, ten years or so) and there are known issues that will be a problem at resale, don’t do it. My boyfriend rents his condo from a dear friend who bought it in a manner similar to what you are contemplating, who literally could not get rid of it once it was too small for his needs.
Of course, if you live in a HCOL area where condos/apartments are more common than SFRs for the typical homebuyer and where parking would be a bonus but isn’t expected, that is a bit different.
Anonymous
I wouldn’t buy the condo without looking at what else is out there.
Cat
Older building = special assessment hell.
Anon
What city/type of city are you in? If it’s someplace like Manhattan where people are lifelong apartment dwellers — I’d be more inclined to jump on it than if it’s someplace like DC where people live in apartments for a while but then upgrade to townhomes and SFHs. In a city where apartments are the main option- even if you can’t sell, you can always rent it out. I assume it’s not Manhattan though bc you mention parking – in that case, don’t buy UNLESS you are willing to at least look at some comps in the area and some pricing histories. What sounds like a good deal now could involve you getting stuck for yrs unknowingly.
Condos
Chicagoland, desirable area, where 40% of folks live in apartments/condos, 1 block from train and very close to expressway to get downtown.
Very inexpensive… Maybe even less than 65k which I could buy for cash easily with very good savings still remaining. Would save $500-600/month on rent.
This condo sold for 150K in 2008 before the crash. Vintage Condos have been slower to rebound here, and probably will never get back there.
Downsides are none for me now (I will stay and rent if I don’t buy), but landlord may move his summer and wants out…. But lack of parking space, second floor condo of older building, and it overlooks ….. The expressway. They will also do constructions on this expressway in 5-10 years. These factors make it more risky once time to sell.
I did the NYTimes calculations, which said I should buy if I am living here more than one year. But their calculations can’t account for the resale issues which where not limiting factors for me but are for others.
Anon
If you’re buying in cash for 65k – I’d go for it. What are comparables of that type (old building; etc.) selling for? If you had to move for some reason (or wanted to) – could you rent it out (if selling was tough/took time)? For how much? I don’t know Chicago – but in DC and NYC – being 1 block from the train and near an expressway is VERY desirable bc it cuts down the commute, so you can guarantee that if you had to – you could rent it out; and in your case if you pay cash, it’s not like you must get X rent to make the mortgage – as long as you’re making enough rent to cover taxes/fees, you’re good. I’d consider it seriously.
Condos
Good questions.
Right now I rent for $1000. Honestly, I will have a hard time finding a comparable place to rent now for less than $1150+ with additional costs to move.
Condo fees + property tax + insurance will be less than $500 per month
I will only buy if I can rent if needed. Good point. Now, there are condo association rules about how many units can be rented at one time, but it was loosened with the crash. But I want a lawyer to review the current bylaws etc… Building is pretty well managed.
Yes the location is good …. for the right person. It is perfect train/expressway commuting distance to two major university/medical campuses. I would probably go straight there to advertise.
I decided to pay an experienced local realtor/appraiser to give me a formal appraisal, and to give his opinion on whether to buy. If I chose to move in the midst of expressway reconstruction (which could affect expressway and train traffic), then that could be …..bad.
Part of me planned to be a lifelong renter, so this is a hard decision for me. Not into commitments…
Chicago gal
Yes, many rules loosened on percentage of rentals, but recently a lot of gone back to stricter rules, like mine just did. Mortgage lenders will look to that number, so a lot of condos are enforcing it to attract a healthy supply of buyers. Vintage buildings in the city will have a lot of more special assessments than a comparable new build, of which so many are going up. And again, if you don’t have parking, access to the expressway isn’t really a big help, especially for say a medical resident who works odd hours at the hospital.
Anonymous
Why don’t you look around and see if there’s something you like better for a similar cost?
Chicago gal
I was going to say yes, but given those downsides, I would say no. The expressway view is the reason it is so cheap; resale will be hard for you. Construction means it will be h3ll while you live there or at least mean it will be hard for you to get rid of because everyone will know the construction is coming. Even if someone wanted it as an in-town and worked far away, say in Joliet, there isn’t parking, so that’s a big downside. Consider the fact, too, that condo buildings are still going up everywhere, and new parts of the city continue to develop and expand (Ukrainian village, West Loop, South Loop, Pilsen!), that yours will seem less desirable. 2nd floor also means that you are looking right onto it, so the noise, lights, and exhaust smell would always be right there, as opposed to living say 25 floors above it.
Anonymous
I have regret because I bought before the crash. Was only able to sell (losing down payment) because I lived in a downtown area where land was limited. Also regret buying that place becuase it was a poorly built apartment conversion, but that doesn’t sound like your issue.
If I bought another condo it would be in a downtown or similarly desirable area, with concrete block construction (or something similar). If you are thinking of living there a long time, envision what would happen to the building as a whole…new elevators? new piping? what would the assessment for that work be? If the owners voted to condemn, what would the resale value of the land be? Buildings have a useful life and with condos you don’t get the full value with adjoining land as you would in a single family home. Look at their books and see what they have in reserves, find out how the management is.
Bottom line, a condo may be a good investment financially but there is a price for your peace of mind/ability to be carefree. No shame if you place a higher value on being a renter.
Cuyana
Any Cuyana shoppers here? I am considering the Classic Alpaca Cape. I posted last week about the MML Morandi, which I decided to return. I’m thinking of the Cuyana cape as an alternative. Anyone here have that cape? Or other Cuyana items you would recommend (or not)?
Lana
I have it and love it! It’s big so sometimes I don’t think it looks any nicer than being wrapped in a blanket, but it’s such a soft, warm blanket! It is possible to style it with a belt or something to make it fashionable, but I leave mine at work and cuddle up in it.
Scarlett
I don’t have the cape, but love everything I’ve bought there (makeup cases, passport cover, a couple of handbags, silk dress, white button down shirt) – high quality & all look brand new, many items going on 4+ years old and in daily/weekly rotation.
Anonypotamous
Europe help please!
I’m acting as travel agent for a large group of my family that will be traveling to Paris and London in June, coming from three different countries (including Asia). Between 10-12 people, and several are elderly. What would be the best accommodation to look for? Is Air B&B (or other homeshare sites) in either/both cities? Or do I just reserve a block of rooms in a hotel? Any recommendations?
Scarlett
Check out One Fine Stay – they do apartment/flat rentals in both cities & I’ve had a great experience renting through them.
EM84
AirBnB or check booking c*m for a house rental.
Sloan Sabbith
Posted too late on the morning thread.
Looking for a pair of leopard-print booties, preferably under $100, available at the Rack or Nordstrom, for obvious reasons. I have a pair of Lucky “Breah” booties in black that I’m wearing a lot, but I really, really want a pair of leopard print (Senior Attorney, you are my outfit inspiration!) booties and I want to spend money at Nordstrom/the Rack today.
Thanks for the Corso Como suggestion, Bonnie! Unfortunately, I live in Seattle and uh, the d’orseille look just means the side of my feet get wet.
Sloan Sabbith
*D’orsay.
nutella
Leopard lover, here, too. Like I am literally draped in a leopard scarf as I type. I have the Sam Edelman petty in leopard and they are so fab, comfortable, and instantly dress up an outfit. I get complimented on them every time I wear them.
S in Chicago
Not sure if this is “Bootie” enough for you, but I LOVE these Munros.
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/munro-taylor-bootie-women/3725559?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&fashioncolor=BLACK%2F%20BLACK
They are ridiculously comfortable. Like, shoes I bring on trips and know I can walk wherever all day and stll feel comfortable. I wear these all the time on my 2 mile walk to my office in the city.
Just one thing of caution: Munro sizing can be narrow. They are the only brand I order a wide in. The length on these is my normal size. (Normally I’m an 11M but I order 11W for anything Munro.)
S in Chicago
And just picked up on the news. Just placed a HUGE Nordstrom order myself.
Sloan Sabbith
Bought a pair of Kenneth Cole Reaction booties at the Rack. The Sam Edelman were sold out at Nordstrom in leopard, but oh god are they pretty. :( :( :(
JCrew factory suiting
Is it at all worth considering?
AEK
Yes! I like it.
It’s actual wool unlike comparably priced suits from AT, BR, etc., and the cuts are pretty classic/ timeless. But if you have a thing about unlined pants, don’t get them. I don’t mind that at all, it’s a nice fabric and not itchy (for me). And I wear tights underneath if I need extra warmth. You might want to try different sizes (your regular and one down) to find the right fit.
Baconpancakes
My first suit was J.Crew. Beautiful, impeccable fit, fully lined. But that was a long time ago. *single tear*
Not sure on today’s suiting. But the tailoring used to fit my hourglass perfectly.
anon prof
I have a wool blend skirt and matching jacket I bought from JCF about two years ago, and it’s held up really well and I get compliments on it. Great value compared with regular JC.
Tetra
The wool skirt they have now is great (I have 4 colors) but the “lightweight wool” suit is just awful in my opinion — thin, scratchy fabric, and the pants are cut weird. I sent mine back.
Anon
Do you all ever buy food from Amazon? Had these cookies at LaGuardia that I loved – in the Delta terminal which is all fancy/organic specialty food now. Remembered the name and it’s a bakery in Miami. You can order online from the bakery or from Amazon (there’s regular cookies that would be sold on a shelf at a store – nothing perishable). Slightly cheaper via Amazon. But part of me thinks – are they going from some reseller to Amazon to me? How are they being stored if it is a re seller – are they coming from someone’s private home or something? All of the Amazon entries for them do say sold by X – and x is not the bakery in question. So does anyone buy food from Amazon or is that just a no-go and I should pay the bakery a few dollars more?
Mpls
I’d buy direct from the bakery and skip Amazon.
I would consider buying food from Amazon, but name brand stuff that I’d otherwise find in the grocery store. Like the Salt and Vinegar Lays chips that you can’t seem to find in the Midwest (though some stores carry a store brand version that serves just as well).
SC
I’ve ordered food from Amazon. I’ve had good experiences with peanut butter, soda, Oreo’s, and potato chips. I also used to order my granola bars on Amazon, but once all the bars in a pack of 4 or 6 boxes were stale. So, I’d buy the cookies through the bakery.
Anon
With specialty food like that – I wouldn’t buy it from Amazon. I imagine it’s not cheap either – so why not go for the source that you know will provide it to you the freshest and cleanest? Even if there’s nothing gross going on in the homes/warehouses of Amazon’s middlemen (and you really can’t know that) — with something that is a specialized product and maybe distributed regionally, there likely isn’t as much turnover as there would be for Chips a Hoy. So it’s likely those cookies could have been purchased from the bakery 4 months ago and sitting around waiting to be ordered. Why do that – if you deal with the bakery directly, they have EVERY interest in making sure you are happy and a repeat customer.
Steve Madden Demi
I recently bought the Steve Madden Demi Bra from Nordstrom Rack, and damn is it comfortable. So soft, really nice to wear, fits great.