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For busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional. As we head into the dog days of summer, you may be desperate for some lightweight, airy suiting options. This summer cotton suit from Talbots looks interesting — I like the collarless blazer, the simple pencil skirt, and the nice summer color choices: grey and a dusky blue. Everything comes in four size ranges: regular, petite, woman, and woman petite. The jacket (Summer Cotton Suiting Jacket) is $159, and the skirt (Summer Cotton Pencil Skirt) is $89.50; there's also a collared blazer, two pairs of pants, and a matching peplum shell. This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!Sales of note for 11.5.24
- Nordstrom – Fall sale, up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – Extra 40% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 25% off with your GAP Inc. credit card
- Bloomingdales is offering gift cards ($20-$1200) when you spend between $100-$4000+. The promotion ends 11/10, and the gift cards expire 12/24.
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Fall clearance event, up to 85% off
- J.Crew – 40% off fall favorites; prices as marked
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – New sale, up to 50% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Buy one, get one – 50% off everything!
- White House Black Market – Holiday style event, take 25% off your entire purchase
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Batgirl
I’m looking for a new set of semi-nice dishes for large family gatherings at special occasions and the holidays. Our everyday dishes aren’t going to cut it but I don’t want to go full-on China (mostly because I want something a bit more modern and significantly less expensive). Do you think these are versatile enough if I got them in grey? https://www.potterybarn.com/products/charlotte-16-piece-dinnerware-set-grey/?cm_src=dinnerware-sets
ELS
I like those a lot. But my taste is skewed because I love heavy plates (I have Fiestaware).
ThatGirl
I really like these! I have found that kids have a hard time with my PB dishes because, like ELS said, they are heavy. It’s not a reason not to buy them, just something to think about. We let kids eat off paper plates during holidays because life is short and I only have service for 8 anyway.
Anon
Does gray go with whatever you use to decorate for the holidays? I know gray’s trendy, but it wouldn’t go with any of my Christmas or Thanksgiving or Easter decor.
If you like that pattern, you don’t have to pay Pottery Barn prices for it. Mikasa has a few similar patterns, and there’s even one at Target.
http://jcp.is/2u0GtDw
http://jcp.is/2w73KVy
http://jcp.is/2wmmWhq
http://jcp.is/2uWZvgW
http://bit.ly/2w7ta5M
Batgirl
Part of the draw of Pottery Barn for me is that I currently have a ton of store credit/gift cards I’d like to use up there! But a deal is a deal! Thanks for the links!
Anonymous
I think they’re fine though maybe on the more casual side given their thickness. These may not be your style, but I have these and am very impressed with the look and quality for more formal occasions: https://www.amazon.com/Johnson-Brothers-Cottage-4-Piece-Setting/dp/B0045D9XYM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1501699515&sr=8-1&keywords=johnson+bros+dishes
Sanders
I like those a lot, and I love love love grey home decor, but I live by the words of the foodie-before-foodie-was-cool from my childhood – “Food just looks better on a white plate.” Your call, of course.
C
+1 To me, “formal” means white or mostly white plate. But that’s probably outdated, and those are gorgeous plates!
Batgirl
Do you all like them in white, too? I like them but am perpetually drawn to gray. Perhaps I should go with white so I can match more fun seasonal stuff to them.
Pompom
What about https://www.crateandbarrel.com/dinnerware-collections/savannah-dinnerware/
Pompom
I like the white (just saw your note above about the gift cards, etc; disregard my crate and barrel suggestion!). To my eye, the Cambria (i think?) set in white would be the most classic and simple, and you could dress those up with fun chargers or napkins, etc.
Baconpancakes
I think they look a little more formal in white, but I’m biased. I made a conscious decision when I bought my first set of dishes out of college to always go with white, plain dishes that could be dressed up with fancy linens and crystal but cheap enough to replace as necessary for every day use. I’ve been buying Target white dishes since then. Bonus – if you decide you need a new kind of piece (serving dishes, cereal bowls, etc), anything basic white matches!
But if you truly prefer the grey, and you’re not a food photographer, why not go with the grey?
Batgirl
Thanks, Pompom! The Cambria was also on my radar as well!
Sanders
I do. Like you, I am immediately drawn to the grey, and I’d say a sunny-side up egg would look fantastic on the grey (see below), but I personally would go with the white as I worry a bit about giving a grey tinge to less contrasting food. That may not be a real problem, though.
Batgirl
Baconpancakes (yum), I think I would be just as happy with a gray tablecloth and white dishes and then I’d have the option to swap out the tablecloths/settings for different occasions. Thanks for the input — maybe I should go a more affordable route!
ThatGirl
I really like your original picks in white! I allllmost said that on my first post, but then I thought “she said she wants grey so I don’t want to muck it up with my preference for the white”.
Anonymous
My grandma’s rule was that a sunny-side-up fried egg had to look good on it. If it didn’t, the plate wasn’t formal enough (even if you’d never serve a fried egg on your nice flatware)
aa
OP, thank you for this post! I’m registering for my wedding and hadn’t seen table settings I liked until I saw this thread!
Anonymous
I actually don’t like these at all! Sorry. They look really industrial, and the grey is not festive at all. Too casual as well. I’d go with something clean an simple – nice white or ivory plates, something like Dansk Fjord https://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/store/product/dansk-reg-classic-fjord-11-inch-dinner-plate/1018824663?skuId=18824663&mcid=PS_googlepla_nonbrand_dining_online&product_id=18824663&adtype=pla&product_channel=online&adpos=1o9&creative=43742634709&device=c&matchtype=&network=g&gclid=EAIaIQobChMImNG7xqa51QIV5inTCh1knAxyEAkYCSABEgJOivD_BwE
Fiestaware
Seems to fit what you are looking for. Been around forever, and will continue to be around, so you can add pieces as you wish.
Senior Attorney
I like light food on dark plates and dark food on light plates, so I would buy those plates in both white and gray.
Anonymous
I like light food on dark plates and dark food on light plates, so I would buy those plates in both white and gray.
Bonnie
The gray doesn’t really go with any holiday decor. I prefer white dishes that go with all table accessories.
Diana Barry
I have a bangs styling question. Just got sideswept bangs at my last hair appt. The rest of my hair is almost shoulder-length. The bangs come to my upper lip if I pull them down over my face. I cannot figure out how to style them so they stay OUT of my face. Any tips? I also have glasses (so they tend to flip out over the frame of the glasses), and FWIW my hair is quite fine and almost straight (slight wave).
Also, I still have a few cardigans and sweaters left if anyone wants them! You can email dianabarry r e t t e at g mail:
coral lightweight, Gap, M
brown cropped, BR, M
orange, Gap, M
J Crew Tippi sweater (not a cardigan), white with blue/green/yellow stripes
ELS
How long has it been since you got them done? Did it change your part in the front? When I got long bangs for the first time my part changed, and it took a week or two for my hair to settle in.
My hair isn’t super fine, but is wavy. I’ve found that either tucking a small amount of bang behind my ear or using a teeny bit of hairspray or gel in the front can be helpful to get them to stay.
Diana Barry
They are cut from the middle because I change my part ever other day. Not long enough to tuck behind my ears unfortunately. I also like to air dry bc it is easier.
ELS
I’d try a teeny bit of gel in the bangs when you air dry, or some mousse.
When mine were shorter (and not tuck-able) I would also sometimes use my old friend the bobby pin while they were air drying to encourage them to get over into the right place. I’d release the bobby pin after they were dry.
Baconpancakes
I tried so hard to have bangs, but with fine hair, it’s impossible to keep them looking nice without blow-drying them. If the gel/bobby pin trick works for you I’m jealous.
Anonymous
+1
And even when I blow dry, the styling falls out quickly. Just a loss for my fine but thick short hair.
AN
I just blow dry my bangs straight after I apply Moroccan oil smoothing lotion.
Almost shoulder length hair and bangs hit at end of nose/area just above lips. Wavy hair.
anon
I just trimmed my own too-long side bangs…they’re now just above the tip of my nose if I pull them straight down. My stylist cut them an inch longer because she was afraid my wavy hair would do crazy stuff with them too short but three days of hot humid weather and Im liking this shorter length much better. Longer, I was just pulling them straight back behind my ear to keep them out of my eyes, and it didn’t look great…
Anonymous
Could you use a bobby pin the same color as your hair to pin them back? I have long hair (side part), but I use a bobby pin to pin back long bangs that always falls in my face and otherwise makes me want to pull back in a ponytail.
Diana Barry
Thx, I have been doing this but then it makes me think why should I have bangs in the first place if I’m not wearing them as bangs. Arr!
Anonymous
Exactly.
I finally gave up on bangs for this reason.
JayJay
Same. Same. Every few years I get the same bangs and then I remember why I hated them and grew them out.
Scarlett
This is where I always land with side bangs, but I usually just end up cutting mine short into bangs. I’m about to take that plunge again this weekend. Anyone seen cute, modern bang-inspo out there?
Anonymous
They’re too long. Mine come to about the top of my nose, and I blow dry them straight and they never bug me.
Anonymous
I used to use a large curling iron (maybe a 4″ barrel? it was the biggest one the store had) and curl only my bangs. The curling iron was large enough so that it doesn’t make them curly, but it kind of styled them to the side and they stayed put.
Fishie
My stylist taught me to blow dry my bangs the opposite direction in which I want them to fall with a large round brush. Then I push them back to the side I want them on. The blowdrying gives them a little swoopy effect and they stay “up” so to speak. Light spritz of hairspray.
Sloan Sabbith
Emailed!
Favourite products
Ladies
What are your Favourite:
1. Drugstore products for skincare/ beauty
2. Cleaning products for your home
Marshmallow
1) Acure 2 in 1 shampoo and conditioner (Whole Foods), Simple micellar water, anything from Avene, Nyx eye liner and lipstick, Maybelline dream wonder powder
2) Seventh Generation multipurpose cleaner and laundry detergent, Clorox toilet gel, and Drano by the gallon because apparently I shed insane amounts of hair in the shower.
Anon
I shed tons, too, and when I’m shampooing, I make sure to catch the loose hair in my fingers and stick it to the shower wall, then collect it after the shower. (It’ll stick up there on the shower wall like a wet spaghetti noodle until it dries, giving you enough time to remove it and throw it away in the trash.)
Drugstore: ELF eye shadow primer – great for eye shadow, yes, but I have to pencil in my super fine brows every day and I find it helps my brow pencil stay put. Maybelline Age Rewind undereye concealer. Amazing.
Cleaning: a spray bottle of vinegar and water for wiping down counters and a spray bottle of bleach and water for serious messes.
ollie
I also shed like crazy in the shower, and this Target hair catcher thing was the best investment I ever made. It collects all of the hair on top without clogging the drain.
https://www.target.com/p/bath-tub-drain-protector-gray-oxo/-/A-16729876#lnk=sametab
Pompom
Same, and this thing astounds me. I have no idea how it stays in place so well! My husband was sick of pulling wookie-sized clogs out of the drain (whoops)
Anonymous
Can I use it on my sink drain?
In other news, I’m REALLY good at disassembling and cleaning the drain pipe from the sink…
Baconpancakes
Your landlord/future self (if you own) would like to please ask you to not use Drano repeatedly, and instead, put a serious hair trap over the drain, as Drano can corrode seals or even pipes and incur incredibly costly repairs.
I also pull the loose hairs out when I’m in the shower, but I roll them into a ball and put them on the side of the tub since it’s hard to see fine blonde hairs on the shower wall before I put my contacts in.
Drugstore: L’Oreal Voluminous Mascara, NYX Eyebrow Cake Powder, Revlon HD Gel Lipcolor, Maybelline Dream Fresh BB Cream
Cleaning: Mrs. Meyers Multi-Surface Cleaner, with refills from the concentrate. Ends up cheaper in the long run, without a headache from chemical smells. Oxyclean for white laundry – but not the White Revive, just regular Oxyclean.
Torin
Drainwig instead of drano! They really work. Like really really well. I almost never need to use a clog remover.
Anonymous
If you have shower/tub combo, get a tubshroom. It works.
ELS
1) Maybelline age rewind concealer, L’Oreal Pro Glow Foundation, Wet n Wild Liquid Catsuit lipstick, Maybelline Masterfix powder.
2) 7th generation laundry detergent. All the Method products, but especially the shower spray and bathroom surface cleaner. Also, like Marshmallow, all the Drano (all the shedding, all the old pipes). I also love Swiffer dusters.
Anon
Drugstore beauty/skincare: I live for Soap and Glory bath products, and I like their skincare as well. It’s a bit more expensive, but it’s readily available at Target. Also, I’ve been trying to only buy drugstore lip products. Revlon Ultra HD matte lips, NYX matte lip cream, and the wet n wild catsuit lipsticks are my favorites. I also really like ELF brushes.
Cleaning: I’ve become paranoid ever since my cat tried to jump into a sink filled with scrubbing bubbles, so I’ve been using Dr. Bronner’s castile soap for all my cleaning needs.
AIMS
Drugstore: 1) cetaphil face wash and 2) l’oreal voluminous mascara
Cleaning: 1) Mr. Clean Magic Eraser; 2) Method floor mop spray; 3) Method purple all purpose spray and 4) those brillo pads with the soap on them
Torin
CeraVe cleansers, facial sunscreen, and lotion.
Diluted Pine-Sol to clean almost everything. Exceptions to that rule are: I use Nature’s Miracle to clean up occasional pet messes (once every other month or so I have to clean up vomit or pee) and any cheap foaming bleach spray product to clean the shower because Pine-Sol isn’t great at killing mildew.
Linda from HR
Maybelline Dream Fresh BB Cream, Simple face lotion, John Frieda Radiant Red hair care products, most shampoos and conditioners from OGX, and Biore face strips and cleansers
Magic Erasers, Soak Wash, Swiffer stuff, Oxyclean, and vinegar
pugsnbourbon
The Target generic of aveeno body wash. It’s super gentle and reduces redness from acne and the retinol I use to combat the acne.
Method Moisturizing Body Wash in Olive Leaf – smells so good!
Zep floor cleaning spray – I use this weekly on my laminate kitchen floors. Gets the job done, leaves a shine without residue, and isn’t stinky.
Sloan Sabbith
Yes to Tomatoes face wipes. My face breaks out if I don’t use them for a few days. I buy them on Amazon in packs of two.
And the Method grapefruit all purpose spray. Smells great and it is also labeled pampelmousse. Which I love saying. And it lifts dirt like crazy.
Anon
Yes to Cucumbers Daily Calming Moisturizer (the one without SPF). Simple Cleaning Face Wipes. The L’Oreal Lash Blast mascara in the orange tube. Acure Marula Oil (I don’t know if you can officially find it at drugstores but it’s like $11 on Amazon so the price point puts it in the “drugstore” category for me). Maybelline Dream Fresh BB Cream.
Pledge Multisurface Spray is my when-in-doubt cleaning product.
Anonymous
Method cedar lavendar laundry detergent. Clothes come out clean without a harsh scent and my exercise clothes can smell…
Q in advance of phone screening
Yay, I have a phone screening/1st round interview this week. The invitation came from the HR person whom I spoke to on the phone, and she also cc-d the department lead that I am applying to. I assume the department lead is the hiring manager.
So I looked up the HR person and department lead on LinkedIn – Do I send them a LinkedIn invitation right now, before the interview? Yes definitely, No definitely, or it doesn’t really matter? Because I am feeling awfully desperate in my search for a new job, I don’t want to come off as feeling desperate, know what I mean? So I am thisclose to losing perspective and thought I would turn to the hive mind here.
Thanks.
Anon
No, do not do that.
Q in advance of phone screening
ok thanks.
TK
ok thanks.
Anonymous
NO!
Case
Do not send a LI invitation to someone you have not interacted with yet. That will come across as weird. Honestly, I don’t think sending a LI invitation to someone who you only connected with in a single interview is a good idea, though I have connected with people who I had extensive contact with during the interview process even if the job didn’t work out.
If they send you an invitation to connect, ok to accept.
Good luck in your interview!
Scarlett
Definitely not before the interview. I also find it a little odd when I get LI invites after an interview – it feels awkward unless there was some great connection made during the interview process (which can happen). But definitely do not connect before you’ve even met & after, be judicious. It shouldn’t be an auto-thing like a thank-you note.
Anonna
Should I keep striving to work at a huge globally recognized company for the brand equity or should I just focus on any company that gives me the salary I want/need? I have six figure student loan debt. And I have the education and experience to ask for 6 figures. Should I hold out for a big company or disregard that?.
Anonymous
What no take a job you can get
Anon
Are you asking us whether to work at a company because its name is prestigious? My answer is to go with work you love and the money will follow. I worked for an internationally known, well-respected company, and I didn’t enjoy the (tedious) work. (That’s an understatement – I was miserable as a cog in a wheel.) I work for a tiny niche law firm now that no one outside of my field has ever heard of, but I love the work. Do what you love and the money will follow.
January
Is this theoretical or actual? You should be applying broadly, if you’re searching for a job. If your question is whether to turn down an offer in the hopes of getting an offer from the bigger, more prestigious company, well… that depends on your circumstances.
(But your question sort of reminds me of “should I settle or remain alone forever?”)
Anonna
Actual. I am employed now, but needing to make more. So I am asking should I only target prestigious companies or go with a lesser known one? My main concern right now is making the salary I need to hyper- attack debt.
Anonymous
If you need to hyper-attack debt, you could always stay where you are and slash your lifestyle for a couple of years.
Anonymous
This is coming from someone who looks back on lots of different job experiences over many decades of work: Don’t go after the brand, go after a good company culture and congenial coworkers, if you can find them. I’d even put that above those six figures you’re talking about.
Idea
This. and you might find all of that at a brand-name company…. after you have X experience and Y number of years at other firms. Or that brand-name company may one day be your client! You never know…
Anonna
Agreed. I have that in my current job but need a better salary to attack the debt. That kind of raise isn’t on the table at this one. Hence the search.
Anon4this
I work at a company with 80k employees and worldwide presence. They are stingy as $hit with salaries. Don’t assume brand name = major pay.
Anon
I no longer work at a huge international industry leading company, mainly because that was my experience as well. I moved to a smaller niche player a few years ago and I’ve found that they have more flexibility on things like pay if you’re a top performer and they want to keep you happy.
Anonna
Oh wow I didn’t consider that…. that’s actually true. Seems like sometimes big companies pay less but you get a lot of tenure and small companies there is more pressure to perform to earn the high salary you demand.
Anon4this
It depends a lot on the business unit you work in. Mine and some at the corporate level are laying off people, despite our good earnings performance and our share price being up. Lots of folks on the BU I work in have left for smaller companies. There is a lot of latge corporation buzz word BS, politics, and misunderstanding by corporate of what many of us do at the BU level.
Basically, don’t make sweeping generalizations about companies of any size.
Dog Days
Acc to Farmers’ Almanac, the Dog Days of summer are from July 3 to August 11 (named based on the position of the Sirius star, not the temperature). So we are technically heading OUT of the dog days. I know colloquially we use it to mean “when it’s really hot,” but thought I’d pass on some trivia (/I am a stickler for accuracy).
Dog Days
…and for those who skip right to the comments, this is in reference to the post :)
Anonymous
I didn’t know that and appreciate the trivia!
Waffles
I didn’t know that and appreciate the trivia!
Meds & TTC
I’ve talked to my psychiatrist about this a lot, so am just looking for some personal anecdotes / support re: choosing to stop antidepressants or not when pregnant.
We’ll be TTC in about 6 months. I’m on Welbutrin for depression and Lamictal for mood swings. I also take Xanax, which I’m already dosing off of as you cannot take it during pregnancy. Wow it’s been a beast to stop taking.
The drugs I’m on can be taken during pregnancy with very minor risks – tiny increase in chances of cleft palate etc – but most of the studies on this seem to be very small and not conclusive. My psychiatrist advocates for staying on them and argues that a depressive mother is more harmful to a baby than the drugs would be. But he’s very pro-meds in general. My therapist on the other hand thinks going off them would be possible considering how well I’ve been doing. My life is so, so much more stable than when I started these drugs, I’ve done extensive CBT, etc.
I guess I feel like, what’s the point of drinking organic milk and avoiding nitrates if I’m going to stay on these intense psychological drugs? Have any of you dealt with this? Maybe a solution would be to go off of them for a few months before TTC, see how I do, and move forward from there.
Anonymous
Sounds like you’ve come to your own simple solution in your last sentence. What do your therapist and psychiatrist say to this?
Anonymous
A close friend of mine chose to remain on antidepressants during her pregnancy. Her now 7yo has no health problems, doing great in school, etc.
Based on her success, I decided to remain on Celexa through my pregnancy this year. My child is a perfectly healthy, easygoing 3mo.
Leatty
I stayed on Lexapro throughout my pregnancy. I had previously gone off it for 5 months while TTC and did not do well. I had multiple panic attacks and my anxiety was not under control (even with therapy). After chatting with my doctor, I decided to stay on the medication because it wasn’t healthy for my daughter (or me) to be that anxious. Due to a minuscule risk of heart issues, I had a fetal echocardiogram done during my pregnancy for peace of mind. My daughter was born healthy, and I am so glad I stayed on the medication.
anon
Is there a middle ground? Could you go on a lower dosage? I’d make sure you have plenty of support in place before going down this road, both emotional and physical (e.g. set-up grocery delivery now). I know a mother who had a similar medication regime prior to becoming pregnant. I believe she went off all her meds and still had a rough pregnancy. Some of it was caused by going of meds (sliding back into depression during the pregnancy and post-partum depression) and some was unrelated (gestational diabetes type problems). I gained a ton of respect for her husband because he really stepped up to the plate and did night feedings etc. She went back on meds almost immediately after delivering (which, in her case, meant bottle feeding). She now has a happy, healthy toddler but it was a rough start.
Anonymous
+1
I worry about stopping both meds for sure….. and because you usually need to taper off Lamictal slowly, and taper up slowly if you would need torestart…. so you’re in for a long period of time with undertreatment if you find stopping the meds intolerable.
ML
Of course this is a decision between you and your doctor, but I stopped taking my antidepressant when I found out I was pregnant (zoloft), and I felt totally fine being off of it. (I had a couple other prescriptions I took as needed for insomnia and anxiety which I also stopped–can’t remember their names but one was xanax.) I had been feeling pretty good for awhile, and I was looking to get off my meds anyway. I knew that if I started feeling depressed I could always start back, but I was fine. I was in therapy throughout my pregnancy, so I had someone keeping a close eye on me too. Best of luck!
ML
Also, I meant to add, if you stay on your meds, your other efforts to have a healthy pregnancy are certainly worthwhile! I am responding to your question: “I guess I feel like, what’s the point of drinking organic milk and avoiding nitrates if I’m going to stay on these intense psychological drugs?” Your meds would not “cancel” or “defeat” the other things you would do to take care of yourself and your unborn child. Please don’t beat yourself up for taking care of your mental health during pregnancy. Moms and moms-to-be can be so hard on themselves. Be nice to yourself!
Support
You’re right – they add to being healthy, not detracting from it.
Like sunscreen – sure, sunshine is “natural” – but so is cancer (I recently saw in a documentary that even dinosaurs had cancer…). Personally, I can enjoy the sunshine (feel my feelings) and also be on an anti-depressant/anti-anxiety regime including medication, and be pregnant… it’s what was best for me and my family, including my developing fetuses/unborn children. (1 at a time, but still, this was multiple pregnancies)
Anon
But the long term effects of these drugs on both you and your fetus are unknown.
Anon
But there’s also evidence that depression during pregnancy can physically harm the baby, and the effects of that are unknown too. There’s no perfect solution.
Atlanta pregnancy experience
You might be able to see a psychiatrist who specializes in women who are pregnant – my shrink/therapist is an MD and a neurologist, and she has this specialty. I’m in Atlanta. Please post here if you’d like her name. She was very transparent with pros and cons of continuing drugs for mental wellness during pregnanacy and I very much felt like I made the decision. I continued taking my drug – Lexapro, during my pregnancies with no negative side effects on me or my two sons.
20 Weeks
Hoping you come back to check this, and speaking only about Wellbutrin —
I initially conceived (first pregnancy) while on Wellbutrin, and continued to take it with my midwife’s blessing. I tried to go off it a few months into pregnancy, but crushing depression set in after 3-4 days, so I went back on for the rest of it without ill effect. I will be back on Wellbutrin come October-time when I’m closer to the end of this pregnancy..
I think your plan is pretty solid for Wellbutrin – at least for me, it only takes a few days of taking pills to feel normal again after I quit, so going off it doesn’t seem like a huge deal.
Regarding your comments about organic milk and nitrates (etc): you can only do so much right during pregnancy. You don’t have to be perfect, but also taking medication does not make you imperfect. Taking medication that your body requires does not mean that you shouldn’t worry about other, non-related risk factors — gestation is not an all-or-nothing game. Do what you would otherwise do to be healthy during pregnancy (exercise! healthy foods! avoiding lots of alcohol!) regardless of the medication your body needs.
Bonnie
Talk to your doctor. A friend stayed on meds through multiple pregnancies and the kids are ok. Keep in mind that going off the meds now could increase the chance of PPD.
Anon
My 1.5 year old, super active dog has heartworms and the treatment at my vet is $3,000, which I do not have and is pretty nuts. Another vet used by the animal rescue I got my dog from is only $700 for the treatment, so I’ve made an appointment there, but… does anyone have first-hand experience of just continuing to give Heartguard to kill off heartworms? That’s how my MIL’s country vet treats it…the worms can eventually die off, but it takes time and it’s not a sure-fire solution. Just not sure which way to go here. I know the regular treatment can be intense for dogs.
Kate
I don’t have experience with that, but I do know it’s really important to keep the dog quiet and not let him, say, run around in the yard.
Anonymous
I’ve never heard of this approach to “treating” heartworm disease. Generally giving heartworm medication to a dog who has heartworm disease can be very dangerous. My vet actually requires a blood test annually to prove the dog is heartworm free before they write the prescription for heartworm preventatives.
S in Chicago
+1,000 Mine does the same and cites the same reason.
Anonymous
My vet told me that it can be dangerous to give a dog heartworm medicine if they have heartworm. Not sure why, but worth looking into.
Blonde Lawyer
NO! Don’t give Heartguard. Dogs are supposed to have a heartworm test before starting heartworm prevention. If the worms die in your dogs heart your dog will die. Please follow the advice of the professionals here. You can use Care Credit for a low interest loan for the treatments.
Jen
Sounds like you are already on contact with the rescue. Did the dog have heartworm when you adopted? I’m surprised it wasn’t disclosed and/or a treatment wasn’t started. Are they willing to foot the bill and/or perhaps could get you subsidized treatment from one of their partner vets (or maybe that’s the $700?).
As a dog owner, I’d say it is strongly in your best interest to pay $700 to treat it now. If it doesn’t work that bill will multiply rapidly.
I fee your pain. Our dog ate chicken bones and needed surgery, had (got from shelter but we didn’t notice) rampant fleas, and had back to back kennel cough issues in the first 3 weeks we had him. And within 6 months jumped a wall at doggie daycare and needed shoulder surgery. We had pet insurance by then (paid for itself in spades- border collie/lab mix, “trouble in a fur coat” and “the stealth knight” were his nicknames).
Country Biscuits
We adopted a dog with heartworm, but no symptoms. Had he been symptomatic, I think you’re supposed to do immiticide. After discussion with our vet, we decided to do Heartgard. I think BL is correct that with immiticide, the worms die, so you want to make sure the dog is basically crated for the duration (I think thirty days +?). With Heartgard, you are just preventing eggs? larvae? from hatching. They can live a year, so each month you are preventing births, so the remaining worms have eleven months, and then ten, etc.
We completed a year in June with no issues, switched to Sentinel about halfway through as he also had whipworms, and he’s doing great.
anon
Not a vet, so take this for what you will.
Adulticide treatment with Immiticide used to be 2 injections done over 2 days. Now they space it out to 3 or more treatments at 2+ week (up to a month) intervals. The older protocol was agonizing for the dog and had major side effects. The newer protocol is leaps and bounds easier on the pet. I had one dog who was pretty seriously symptomatic and he actually felt *better* the day after the first round of adulticide treatment. 10 years ago, I wouldn’t have thought that possible.
Leading up to adulticide treatment, treat with doxycycline (and possibly prednisone to reduce inflammation that tends to happen with higher worm burdens) for at least a month. Doxycycline kills wolbachia, a bacteria that lives symbiotically with heartworms. Killing wolbachia weakens the heartworm and makes them easier to kill.
Modern heartworm preventative medications are such a low dose that giving them to a dog with a HW infection doesn’t hurt anything. Old-school Filaribits will hurt a dog with heartworms, but I’m not even sure those are still on the market. The reason a heartworm test is frequently required before selling preventative is a consumer protection measure- if you give it as directed and the dog comes up positive, the manufacturer will generally pay for heartworm treatment. Doing nothing but giving heartworm preventative isn’t great because adult worms will continue to cause inflammation and damage as long as they live.
Self-employment retirement
Not for me, but if someone is self-employed and thus not receiving employer match or eligible for a 401k, what are the advantages of using a designated retirement savings vehicle over a regular investment, after the max IRA investment? In this situation, the company is owned by multiple partners, and has 1-3 employees but can’t afford to offer retirement, so I’m not sure a solo 401k would be doable. Is the primary benefit at this point forced savings you can’t touch until retirement, or are there other benefits you’d be missing out by just throwing money into the best investment at the time?
Diana Barry
Is a SEP-IRA an option if they are self-employed? You can put way more into it (up to $50K or 25% of what you make IIRC) than a regular IRA.
Self-employment retirement
As far as I understand it, SEP-IRA would require offering the same savings to the employees and all partners, which isn’t desirable in this situation, as there are 3 partners and additional employees.
Perhaps a better question would be retirement savings vehicles for small business owners?
Anonymous
You miss the savings from tax free growth over the decades to retirement. Much more money earned over time compared with just opening a Investment account with Fidelity and investing in similar funds.
Yes, the SEP-IRA.
Brooklyn Contractors
Any recs on a good GC in Brooklyn or how to find one? All of the well-rated people online are booked for 6-8 months, but we’re hoping to start some repairs in September.
Anonymous
How do you all keep your personal paperwork organized? I had one of those giant folding files but now that I’ve got more adult things (insurance forms, receipts for HSA stocks etc) the mail just collects on my kitchen counter. My apartment doesn’t have a home office or anything. A filing cabinet would look weird just hanging out. Help me be more organized please!
Anonymous
File folders in a small decorative bin meant for them — you can find the little bins at TJ Maxx, Home Goods, Target, etc.
Pompom
They also make a lot of great hidden filing cabinet options. Search filing credenzas, filing ottoman, etc. I use a thin metal file box for the “grab and go” paperwork in case of emergency (car titles, passports and birth certs, most recent vet paperwork, most recent two tax returns), and the rest is in plastic accordion files by topic or year or whatever, in one regular drawer. I also don’t save a ton of stuff, which is probably awful and I’m going to adult h#ll for that.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00006ICA5/ref=asc_df_B00006ICA55104598/?tag=hyprod-20&creative=394997&creativeASIN=B00006ICA5&linkCode=df0&hvadid=167128855192&hvpos=1o1&hvnetw=g&hvrand=3436922928735101894&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9009726&hvtargid=pla-304568608066
Anonymous
+1 I have a filing credenza (Crate and Barrel) with two filing drawers and two regular drawers. It’s my little home-office center (also where my printer sits) in the corner of my studio apartment.
JTX
I don’t actually do this, but could you consider scanning the documents and just keeping them digitally?
Scarlett
+1 – I keep all my stuff digitally. Way easier to access and find things again.
Anonymous
Filing cabinet. Then try to remember to shred things when appropriate.
emeralds
Very high-tech system here: shove everything in a box in the bottom of my closet.
Cornellian
Similar.
nasty woman
Thank you for making me feel less alone. <3
Anonymous
I have a binder that I keep on a bookshelf. Honestly it only has a few papers, pretty much everything is electronic these days.
Anon
I need the Hive’s advice on a situation I’m in regarding job interviews. I had a recruiter reach out to me about an opportunity with a very small, new player in my niche field and it sounded somewhat interesting so I agreed to the phone interview last week. All went fine, but there wasn’t anything there that really made me want to explore the opportunity further, minimal raise and loss of some benefits. I spoke with the recruiter on Friday and yesterday, thanking him and the company for their time but I wasn’t interested in moving further with them.
Since then, the recruiter has called me three times, twice blocking his number from my caller ID and has now sent me a long email about how I’m passing up “an incredible opportunity” and that the CEO and COO felt that they didn’t have enough time to tell me how great the company is on the phone (we were scheduled 45 minutes, we went an hour). He also told me that I should do this because of professional courtesy and that I would be wasting an opportunity, which bothers the h*ll out of me. Am I wrong for saying no, I’m not interested in this?
I’m relatively happy where I am, I’ve only been here since December, but I also do not want to have any negative association with my name in my relatively small industry. TIA!
Anonymous
Why don’t you simply tell them what you’re looking for? Salary and benefits may be negotiable. Would you be interested if the salary and benefits were better? If so, I’d communicate that. Traditionally, my advice is interview, get the offer, negotiate salary and benefits, in that order. But they seem interested so it may be worth letting them know what you’re looking for.
Anon
The problem isn’t the money (which they’d give me) and the benefits (which they already told me no), but the fact that I’m just not interested in what the position does, which I’ve told them. What gets me is that the recruiter told me that I have to interview with them because of professional courtesy.
Anonymous
I’ve not worked with a recruiter, but they make their living by persuading and selling, no? Then of course he’s trying to persuade you. It doesn’t mean you have to acquiesce.
blueberries
The recruiter is wrong that it’s a professional courtesy to interview for a job you don’t want. Also, he’s obnoxious for implying that unless you give him whatever he wants (infinite time, interviewing/discussing now, later accepting a job offer), you lack professional courtesy.
Anonymous
Professional courtesy would be not wasting the CEO and COO’s time if you didn’t feel you were a right fit for the position.
Anon-OP
That was my thoughts were but wanted to make sure I wasn’t totally off base with my thoughts. Thank you blueberries and Anonymous for your input!
Jen
If you otherwise were interested, I’d tell the recruiter that you need a comp package of at least $X to consider moving forward with a conversation. If they determine they can meet your requirements and you are otherwise interested, go another round.
Otherwise, “thank you but I’ve decided to stay out for now” is fine. If the recruiter is incessant you should email the company directly and let them know no thanks.
Anonymous
Recruiters are like mechanics: a good one is worth their weight in gold because there are so many slimy ones out there. This one sounds super slimy. I wouldn’t work with them again.
frustrated academic
Did anyone else tear up a bit when watching this? Good luck Amy McGrath!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CcjG2fK7kNk
Pompom
yes! Loved this!
Anonymous
YES! I hope she kicks a$$!
givemyregards
Yes!! That’s the district where I grew up (and where my parents still live) so I am super hyped.
Fishie
F YES.
kk
There seems to be an influx of designer shoes to discount sites- I’m seeing a lot of Jimmy Choo, Prada, and Valentino on Ruelala and Bluefly. Can anyone explain why? I’m curious about the timing of the market turnover for luxury shoes, and why the discount sites are flooded.
Also, for all who are interested, PSA that theres lots of designer shoes on sale!
anon
could be because Jimmy Choo is being purchased by Michael Kors
If I don't laugh I might cry . . .
It may be too late for people to see this, but if anyone wants a good laugh, the amicus brief that the ACLU of West Virginia filed in the lawsuit against Jamie Oliver is well worth a read:
https://www.scribd.com/document/355291378/ACLU-Brief-on-Behalf-of-John-Oliver
Pompom
The first line of section II is just so indicative of 2017 ‘Murica right now.
cbackson
Chapeau, Jamie Lyn Crofts. Chapeau.
Anon
Oh. My. Word.
Thank you for posting this. This is incredible. These headings are cracking me up.
Never too many shoes...
That is hilarious.
Side note, I cannot believe that American courts accept these types of briefs. We are still so much more formal in language here.
Anonymous
This is really, really out there for American courts. Though I wish I had the guts to name a fact section “The Ridiculous Case at Hand.”
trefoil
Right?! I’m occasionally sharp, but never snarky in written arguments.
Anonymous
I think you can be a little more “out there” as amicus than when representing a party, but this is still really out there. Awesome though!
nasty woman
As a former federal law clerk, I’ll say that it’s very rare to see a brief this snarky. But oh, it’s the dream snarky brief that all lawyers (and law clerks….) would love to write, at least once in a while in the appropriate circumstances. I would LOVE to call a complaint “plaintiff’s petty list of grievances”! Dying. To its credit, the brief acknowledges its tone and it is amicus brief.
That said, a lot of lawyers who…lack professionalism, to put it gently, will put mean-snarky language or insults to integrity in run-of-the-mill briefs. That’s not cool, and it never ever makes you look better.
Anonymous
“clutched their pearls”…was this written by a ‘r e t t e?!?
Never too many shoes...
Love.
Sloan Sabbith
The Dr. Evil defamation line (‘truth is an absolute defense to the claim of defamation'”) makes me crack up every time. I sent it to my entire office this morning for some Wednesday AM humor.
Anonymous
I was wondering what Jamie Oliver did, if he moved to West Virginia or something!
Nunya
Any suggestions for dealing with a persistent pregnancy pusher to whom you *must be* extremely nice? H and I are hosting H’s much older cousin and his wife from out of the country. Our relationship with these people is superficial, but we honor his family’s tradition of hosting/playing tour-guide to anyone on the family tree.
During the one full day we have spent with them so far, the wife repeatedly pressed me about having children, despite my efforts to politely (and then more assertively) brush it off. They are here for the rest of the week and I am terrified that I am going to end up saying something super salty because she won’t drop it. Just mind your business and enjoy your vacation!
Anonymous
What is she pressing you to do, or what kinds of things is she saying and won’t let drop?
Nunya
She is repeatedly asking when we are going to give them “good news”, stating as fact that it is time/has been long enough, and will not accept my response that she need not worry about it and that the matter is between me and my husband. Eventually the “when” question turned into an “I expect to hear from you.”
Anon
“As an adult, you should know that couples do not reproduce on other people’s timelines for a variety of reasons, ranging from financial problems or psychological issues to infertility or frequent miscarriages. By pushing this issue, you are being extremely rude and asking for personal details that are not yours to ask for and bringing things that are painful to discuss. Enough.”
Anonymous
Just keep agreeing with her without actually saying anything.
“When are you having a baby?”
“you know, I’ve been wondering that myself. When did you and Mr. you have your baby?”
Yes, but when are you having a baby?
“I don’t know. It’s a really great thing to be think about, isn’t it?”
I’m expecting to hear from you.
Yes, it’s going to be so fun to let you know what’s happening.
When will that be?
Big grin: Probably not soon enough, huh?
But when will you have a baby?
I wish I knew! When do you think a good time would be?
But when?
Wouldn’t it be great if we knew when these things would happen?
Anonymous
“Well, I’m not pregnant now and we’re planning to have s*x tonight. Do you want me to let you know how that turns out? If you don’t hear from me, I don’t have any news.”
But that might be a bit snarky.
Ellen
I am very JELOUS of women who have husbands to come home and complain to, b/c between the two of them, they can solve alot of probelems that I have to work out all by myself. For example, if I had a husband, I would have someone to help me stand up to dad, and NOT allow him to dictate where I will have to live in NYC. I am used to the Upper East Side, being that I live and work there, and now Dad is bullying me into moveing from East 77th Street all the way to a building that is very close to the Hudson River, which is about as far on the West Side that I can go unless I go into the Lincoln tunnel! FOOEY! It is no where Near where I work and I will have to UBER to work unless I take 2 busses. DOUBEL FOOEY!
If I had a husband, he would tell Dad that we want to live on the UES, not in the Hudson River. I do NOT care about river views and wrap around balconies, and I realy do NOT need 3 bedrooms, particularly if Dad is goeing to effectively live with me whenever he comes in to the city; particularly if he decides to take a professorship at Colombia University. TRIPEL FOOEY! I will never be able to bring a guy home and have s–x, particularly if Dad is goeing to be hanging around the apartement. If ONLEY I was ALREADY MARRIED! FOOEY!!!!!!!!
ThatGirl
Are you planning to have kids eventually? This is kind of the nuclear option but I have started telling these types of people that I’m infertile (at 4+ years TTC, it’s only a half-lie). They are ususally just shocked enough to shut up about it. It may not work on family though since she will find out about any future children you may have. Maybe you can call him/her a miracle baby? I’m being glib but I really do feel for you. Have another glass of wine and tell her to MYOB.
anon
‘I don’t know if you realize it but you’ve asked me about this several times this visit.’ If needed add a dose of ‘It’s making me feel pressured/ uncomfortable.’
Sam
She probably is having a hard time thinking of other topics to talk to you about. Distract her, and think nothing of it. I’ve been with similar people and I can even hazard a guess as to the country of origin. It is a common colloquialism particularly to newlyweds. Your answer doesnt matter. You can literally say anything “its all in God’s hands” / “that’s not something I feel comfortable talking about” / “you worry about your good news and I’ll worry about mine!” – just say it with a light tone – deflect and distract.
Torin
I don’t think it’s necessarily impolite to just be super direct. You tried being more subtle and she was rude and intrusive, so I think you really can just tell her, “I don’t want to discuss this topic with you.”
My responses to this type of behavior tend to get pretty salty though so YMMV. “I had no idea a thorough status update on other people’s uteruses were so important to your overall happiness! Currently mine is empty of fetuses.”
Anonymous
+1 Being a host doesn’t really mean putting up with rude questions. It’s okay to set house rules (which include no interrogation of the uterus)
How annoying
Meh, I’d just be salty. I finally told my MIL, “I’m not having kids so you can stop asking” and she did.
Anon
Maybe try something along the lines of: You’ll be among the first to know if/when we’re expecting. I will not discuss any potential children until that point. ::change the topic to something else::
It’s direct, but it sounds like blunt is the only way forward for this lady. If you say it in a polite/matter of fact way without getting angry you’ll appear much more reasonable than if she badgers you into a more aggressive response.
Signed,
31 and inquiring minds WANT TO KNOW ;-)
Nunya
Thanks for your input, everyone! I think many of you are right that a direct shutdown the next time she brings it up is the only way to go at this point. Deflecting (which I have been doing) is effective in the moment but leaves the conversation open to continue later. At first I figured she was just making conversation, but she went out of her way to bring it up again and again.
DC staycation hotel?
My husband and I are planning a pre-baby staycation in DC. Any suggestions of where to stay? Looking for something nice, ideally with a pool, but not too crazy expensive
anon
Hard to know exactly what your price point is, but you can sometimes find deals at the Mandarin Oriental, and it would be perfect for a staycation.
Another option would be to check out the Gaylord at National Harbor.
Sloan Sabbith
Any recommendations for scanners? I have a printer/copier/scanner, but I’d really like something I can just feed paper into to organize it, rather than having to lay it down on the sheet. Ideally it would scan front and back at once and be able to scan receipts as well. Looking for something small. Not even sure what the price point to look for is.
I could scan stuff at work, but with my chronic illness it’s sometimes 20-30 pages a week I want to keep track of but don’t necessarily want to keep paper copies of. Things like EOBs. I can print them from my insurance website but it’s a gigantic PITA, so scanning in the copies I get sent makes more sense. Also things like receipts for meds, paperwork from my doctor, etc.
Sloan Sabbith
Oh, just to be clear: just a scanner. Not replacing my beloved Brother printer.
M
Fujitsu ScanSnap ix500! It is super-fast, scans both sides, can handle receipts, and it is pretty compact (you can fold the feeder trays in when not in use).
lawsuited
The ScanSnap is expensive, but oh man, is it a great scanner.
Sloan Sabbith
Ouch, that’s a lot. :/ I ended up going with a Brother duplex scanner- really like the Brother printer I have.
M
Agreed. For high volume/frequent use it is worth every penny, though. For limited home use I’m sure the Brother scanner will do the trick! :-)
Mmmmmshoessss
Any ideas for business formal shoes I can wear socks with? I have hyperhidrosis, so my hands and feet sweat a ton all.the.time and wearing cotton socks helps tremendously. However, I can’t wear them with flats or heels so I am basically relegated to oxfords. I’d like something a little more feminine to wear with dresses but I don’t know what that would be…? And I’m open to more oxford-style shoes too! I guess ankle booties would be ideal but not in summer?? Help…!
I’m young and wear a lot of ankle pants, so the ankle pants + blouse + oxfords look is cute and fits my aesthetic well…but I am open to your ideas too! My ideal shoes would be somewhat interesting/fashiony but also versatile. This might be a unicorn item…
Anonymous
I wear socks with flats and heels all the time! Just look for trouser socks and start wearing full length pants.
Anonymous
I would do an oxford or loafer. I can wear socks w/ dansko louise, which I think are cute with dresses, though they’re not exactly cutting edge fashion.
Painful feet
I walked so much today and I am almost in tears about how badly my feet hurt. I need support in my shoes but not shoes that are hideous. Any recommendations please? Also I am a size 11 so its hard to find something. I need something I can dress up and down. Everything I wear/own I have to be able to wear everywhere. Work/dinner/grocery store etc. Flexible on price point because I want something that will last.
Anonymous
Vionic
AK
Rockport Total Motion Pointed Toe Pump – they partnered with Adidas and have cushioned inner soles and fantastic arch support. I’ve done 15-18 hour days on my feet in them without a problem. I’m on my 3rd pair and tend to buy new ones every 12-15 months. Good luck with your sore feet!
EM84
Clarks shoes are super comfortable and you can always add ortho insoles if needed.