Weekend Open Thread
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Something on your mind? Chat about it here.
I'm a big fan of Athleta's sweatshirts, but they only have a few colors in the shorter styles that go well with flared and wide leg pants… so I've been branching out. I just ordered a few more colors of this Sweaty Betty sweatshirt because I like the first one so much.
Admittedly, I am a sucker for any sweatshirt with thumbholes (why? I have no idea), but I also like that this one comes in pretty colors and has a good weight. It's clearly a sweatshirt but it's soft and it isn't too bulky. Even better? You can find lots of older colors on sale. (There is also a longer version, although I haven't bought one yet.)
The pictured one is full price at Nordstrom for $68 with a few sale colors in lucky sizes, but check Amazon, Nordstrom Rack, Dillards, and Simon's for more sale colors.
Sales of note for 2/6:
- Nordstrom – End of Season Sale — winter styles up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – End of season sale, up to 70% off original prices — plus extra 25% off your $175+ purchase.
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off + extra 15% off
- Brooks Brothers – Clearance up to 70% off
- Elie Tahari – Great sale, up to 60% off! This reader-favorite sleeveless silk blouse is down to $50 from $198
- Express – $40 off $120, $75 off $200 (online only).
- J.Crew – Up to 40% off winter classics, + extra 30% off sale styles with code
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + extra 50% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Valentine's sale, up to 50% off — reader favorites include this laptop tote, this backpack, and this crossbody
- M.M.LaFleur – Save up to 70% off, dozens of styles now on clearance. Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
- Neiman Marcus – New sale arrivals, up to 40% off. You can also earn a $35-$700 gift card with purchase of $250-$3000.
- Talbots – Free shipping on $150+, and members earn 3X style points.

I finally joined Costco and today I chose not to renew Prime. Let’s discuss alternatives and dupes.
I will begin: During COVID, I went looking for a cheaper alternative to Estee Lauder Double Wear and found No. 7 Stay Perfect to be very good.
Where can we buy every day housewares like drinking glasses or air conditioning filters? All the stuff we would get at Amazon, Target or Walmart? Costo is great on appliances but not so much on the small items.
I love Costco and while the section is not great, I have bought sheets, pillows and cookware from there with great success. I also shop at Marshalls, TJ Maxx, Home Goods, Facebook Marketplace, Craigslist, Nextdoor, Wayfair, Macys, and Home Depot.
It’s possible that some of the listed retailers are terrible too, and if I learn that they are, I will reconsider.
Oh, and I still visit the Amazon site to read reviews. Sometimes, I’ve had success finding and ordering directly from the same retailer that has an Amazon storefront.
You buy your air conditioning filters at a hardware store. Big box or local, up to you.
You buy tableware and drinkware at your favorite department store, home decor store (Crate & Barrel, Pottery Barn, Ikea, Wayfair, etc—whatever your style/taste/budget is.), low-end department store (like JC Penny), ebay, estate sales, or thrift store.
IKEA is great for basic dishes and other small household goods. Not super high end, but most of the stuff I’ve gotten there has held up really well.
I no longer live near an IKEA, and I’m sad about it because I agree it is great for this sort of thing. (also because I’m a fan of ikea meatballs and lingonberry sauce)
They ship now!
Co-sign their shipping. I’ve ordered glasses that arrived excellently packed with no breakage.
This is amazing news! I’ve about broken enough of my glasses that I need new ones.
+ 1
IKEA is great for lots of stuff – they have air filters and pet supplies as well and lots of free ship promotions on holidays
The thing I love about IKEA is that everything is designed well, especially for smaller spaces.
Lowe’s or local hardware stores, restaurant supply stores, department stores. Either W-S or Pottery Barn has a ‘pantry’ collection of glassware and tableware staples that are decently priced.
Costco does have drinking glasses and plates and things and they’re pretty decent. They’re all going to be fairly big sets though because… Costco. They might be seasonal (like there might be more home goods things in store in September-January because college is starting and people are refreshing their homes in Jan.) You can check in the aisles but I find that I end up buying a lot of crap I don’t need, so I just check online to see what their selection is and then try to buy it in the warehouse if I can. (It’s usually more expensive online by $3-5.) (“Glasses” right now shows they have pages and pages of glasses in stock.) They also have air conditioning filters online.
I really like Costco leggings and sweatshirts and half the time the sale is better than you’d have gotten at Amazon.
Get your glassware at Goodwill.
this is a good point, i’ve gotten a ton of great glassware at a local auction site that does estate sales, and i’ve gotten a few things at goodwill also.
I won’t buy secondhand dishes or glassware because of lead.
You can still purchase from Amazon and get free shipping with a purchase of $35 (in most cases). If you’re used to Amazon, no reason to keep prime but you don’t have to cut it out of your life, unless you’re doing it for ethical reasons.
I am doing it for ethical reasons but will use it as a last resort if absolutley necessary@
This isn’t a perfect answer, but it’s realistic for me and my life.
I’ve dropped Amazon and Target but I’ve kept Walmart. While not ideal ro support Walmart, at least I’m only supporting one of the bad companies now.
Honestly, in my area, Walmart is the only affordable groceries (cheaper than Aldi).
I do try to get as much from Costco or second hand as possible, but sometimes I just need something that I can’t find either of these places or I don’t have all day to look for.
I gave up Prime at the start of 2025, and didn’t miss it at all. Unfortunately, the only way I could find to subscribe to PBS kids was via Prime, so I had to rejoin. I couldn’t keep watching the same 6 Daniel Tiger episodes with my toddler.
FYI, you can sign up for PBS Passport on your local affiliate’s website.
PBS Passport doesn’t have the kids’ shows.
I recently joined Costco and was surprised to learn at checkout that they only take debit cards or Mastercard. You can buy a membership on line with any credit card, but they won’t take those same cards at checkout. We have every other credit card but no Mastercard, and we don’t use our ATM cards as debit cards for security reasons, so we will not be shopping there much.
This is not a secret.
huh, that must be a local decision — ours was like that when we joined but now I use my Visa card there pretty much exclusively.
They also take Visa
This is incorrect. They take Visa
They wouldn’t take my Visa card.
they’ve been taking my visa for 6 years now.
I was at my Costco three weeks ago via my new boyfriend’s membership and they only took visa. We had to use my card because he only had a Mastercard in him! (Don’t worry he of course
Paid me back)
Visa is the only card they take. No Mastercard.
Why didn’t you get the Costco credit card? You get additional discount cash back, on gas as well. That is a no brainer. I also use them as my travel credit card, since I am not a frequent traveler and the travel benefits are quite good.
My local independently owned hardware store delivers. I like Etsy for house stuff and eBay for stuff like air filters.
It’s not ideal, but I have just switched to Target for things I used to get from Amazon. I also try to shop in person locally when I can. But to me Amazon & Bezos is way more objectionable than Target so that’s where I landed.
I love how people think any big corporation is more virtuous than another. It’s just comical.
Yes and all politicians are the same.
I am not about to live off the grid but we do what we can. Companies that brazenly support Trump don’t need my money if there is another option. You can take your smuggness elsewhere. Bye.
I have purchased drinking glasses and other kitchen items at Costco. They often have a small but nice inventory of that kind of thing. We buy sunscreen, lotion, shampoo, conditioner, body wash, eye cream, toothpaste, and that sort of thing at Costco as well. We buy air conditioning filters at our local hardware store.
My local Ace Hardware (most of which are in fact locally owned) has way more stuff than I realized when I first moved into the neighborhood. Trash bags, drinking glasses wrapping paper, whatever — it is now my first choice for random stuff that otherwise would be easy to get at Target or Amazon.
I feel so grumpy at the world and at work and everything. I have to travel to DC next week for corporate meetings and pretend it is not cold AF and the world is not burning. I have the evenings to myself. Any ideas that might help?
I would go to a museum or gallery or something in the evenings. Even just 1-2 hours of something new, interesting, and just for you can be very revitalizing (especially if you can meet up with any old friends there). I always feel way worse if I just go straight back to the hotel when I’m in a funk.
Are museums open during the evening? Whenever I travel, I find that museums are closed when I’m not working.
Never hurts to check – some museums will have extended hours once a month/week. Hoping OP gets lucky or can dash in for an hour or so before closing.
Yup, and resist the urge to say “an hour isn’t worth it.” You can see SO much in a museum in an hour!
https://washington.org/visit-dc/museums-after-hours-programming
Yes! The National Portrait Gallery/American Art Museum is open until 7 p.m. Accessible by metro at the Gallery Place/Chinatown stop (Red, Green, Yellow lines) which is closest, or Metro Center (Orange, Blue, Silver, Red) which is just a few blocks away. And it’s free. Be sure to go up to the third floor where Lincoln’s second inaugural ball was held (and I think Michelle Obama’s portrait is still up there). It also has a nice courtyard with water features and tropical plants.
I love that courtyard.
Maybe visit one or two wonderful restaurants.
+1 and I’d say Jose Andres restaurant! the world may be burning, but JA does amazing relief work
I went to his restaurant Zaytina when I was in DC last month and we loved everything!
I took my teens to Oyamel for lunch over a frigid winter break – it’s Right Near the National Portrait Gallery and the National Archives and walking distance to the Smithsonian Mall – just a couple of blocks.
For the food, it’s small plates, and the house salsa has an amazing smokiness to it. If you like guac, give theirs a go.
My splurge was the beef, so good! The bar is rife with tasty options, but it wasn’t an occasion for us.
Check out the DC Improv – it’s nowhere near as polished as NY or Chicago, but tickets are cheap and it will feel good to laugh.
Go to the Dabney or the Red Hen and sit at the bar as a solo diner. Cozy atmosphere!
Shopping? Tuckernuck, Evereve and MM LaFleur all have locations.
Wear sturdy shoes – the intersections are a mess for pedestrians right now.
If you want a chill evening I’d get out of downtown and go spend time in some neighborhoods. Takoma Park is on the red line and has some good restaurants (Cielo Rojo, Girl and the Vine, Red Hound, Motorkat), a nice bookstore (People’s Book), etc. Union Market also has good food options, and Georgetown is always a good standby. Maybe there’s a show that interests you – check the Anthem, 9:30 Club, and Black Cat for music and Warner Theater, National Theater, Arena Stage, Woolly Mammoth, or Studio Theater for shows next week.
Kramerbooks (Dupont Circle; red line)
Politics and Prose (bookstore, 3 locations) is showing a bunch events next week, including an open mic poetry event on Thursday.
The Library of Congress is open for Happy Hour on Thursday evenings, 5:00 to 8:00
The synagogue at 6th and I has an author talk by Vivian Wu on Wed. evening at 7:00; that venue is lovely. (Check sixthandi dot org.)
I hope you do enjoy your visit.
DC is a great place to support locally and POC owned businesses. Check out solid state books, browse Union market (food booths and shops!), get some Ethiopian food, etc.
Go see a show! I’m going to see Chez Joey at Arena stage tomorrow, which is right next to a metro and the wharf, which has a ton of fun bars and restaurants.
You don’t have to pretend any such thing. It is cold, sidewalks are abysmal, and you’d be perfectly served catching up on sleep and ordering doordash of the best eating options.
I’m the one who posted about buying a condo earlier today and how we were waiting for HOA documents. The documents have come in and I’m having trouble determining the significance of some things – for example, the HOA has a deficit in its operating fund, but seems to have sufficient reserves. At least one disclosure document mandated by the state notes that real estate agents are not qualified to evaluate HOA health so buyers should be wary of relying on their advice. My question now is whether it’s worth it to hire an attorney specifically for the purpose of evaluating HOA health. Accounting and legal documents are NOT my strong suit and while my husband thinks we can cover a lot of ground using ChatGPT, I’m not sure I’m relying on that for such a big decision. Would you recommend hiring an attorney or is there some other entity (an accounting firm?) that would be best for this?
When we were looking in manhattan for coops and condos, we were advised to have an attorney review those docs.
You can cover a lot of ground with AI, but then you need a human to review the results.
+1
This is what a good attorney is for. I would spend sometime reviewing a book / blog on how to buy a condo to make sure all of the key questions/issues are addressed. Push your attorney to make sure they check them!
Yeah, this is really standard in NYC apartment sales. I didn’t respond earlier as I wasn’t sure how normal this was in other areas, and I only have co-op buying experience (which is very niche). But we hired an attorney to look at our co-op’s financial documents and board meeting notes and let us know if there were any red flags, like huge assessments on the horizon or evidence of poor business practices.
do you have a real estate attorney in general for the transaction? when we bought our condo we had an absolutely useless lawyer look through things but at least i felt like we could sue his pants off if he missed anything.
My perspective as an NYC buyer. We hired an attorney who flagged stuff in minutes that I could have seen if I read them but did not otherwise have a real analysis on their finances relative to the amount of maintenance outstanding. Minutes are thin anyway. At the end of the day, the reality is…you won’t be able to negotiate much anyway because of demand – maybe that’s changed. but i suppose if it’s truly bad, you’d walk away.
There are HOA attorneys who have different specialties than real estate closing attorneys. For the investment you will make on a monthly basis going forward, I’d consult one. We bought into a self-managed condo building that had seemingly fine HOA finances (our lender approved, at any rate) but one unit was in arrears, other units were on fixed incomes and had repeatedly voted down basic COL increases to monthly dues, and it ended up that we had to take legal action and evict the bad unit, and had loads of expensive special assessments to cover deferred maintenance and cover the legal action. If I had a do-over, I’d have consulted an HOA attorney to review the finances.
Thanks all – it sounds like hiring an attorney is the way to go. We don’t already have one.
I would be hesitant to go through this without one. The cost of getting it wrong is too high.
It’s just not a thing in the Bay Area. You don’t use lawyers for basic real estate deals here. OP will probably lose the condo in the process of trying to find a lawyer. It’s a know your market situation.
These condos tend to stay on the market a while and go for asking or not much above. Would that change your opinion? The one we are looking at isn’t renovated, either.
That doesn’t change my lawyer answer but I would never buy something that sits on the market in the hottest real estate market in the country. You will have a ton of trouble selling that down the road if that’s the case. This does not sound like a smart decision regardless of what the HOA health is.
No because this is not a practice in the Bay Area so you’re not going to get expertise. Talk to your agent, your sophisticated friends and post more here if you’d like.
Ask for the minutes of the last couple of HOA meetings. I was hit with a special 5 year 1k monthly surcharge 6 months closing. Don’t be me.
How can it have a deficit in its operating account? Do you mean the account is actually overdrawn? Who’s doing the books? Are the accounts not reconciled? This sounds like a board that doesn’t follow up on *any*thing.
Debt that is being carried with interest. Owners who stopped paying monthly fees, for example.
It is not uncommon.
Catherine O’Hara! This one hurts.
Right? Good grief she was just a few years older than I am!
Life is short my friends.
RIP to queen Catherine O’Hara. The world has lost the brightest light.
It’s so sad! My girlfriend group chat has been texting Moira Rose gifs all afternoon.
RIP to Catherine O’Hara. She was so young, only 71.
Not so young. All the women in my family die before 70. Sometimes you can’t outrun genetics, or bad luck.
So young! (said from the perspective of someone in her 70th year).
The average lifespan for women is over 80 so I think it qualifies as young. Not shockingly young like 40 or 50 but definitely on the younger side.
What a strange comment to make.
Ehh, it’s more weird to say 71 is “so young.”
Seriously.
This is such a garbage response to this post. Be better.
This is at best a weird comment; at worst a Debbie Downer self-invested one. Read a room.
+1
No young and I am near her age. Wake up people.
Thank you! Let’s all wake up to this incredibly important point and….
Oh, wait. This is just continuing the crap response to an expression of grief.
Although target, Walmart, and amazon have tried to convince us we need a one stop shop for everything, specialty stores still exist and hopefully will continue to exist.
I grew up in the Soviet Union and the idea of a single retailer for all your needs brings to mind the old government stores that were the only option.
Co-signed. Today I went to a greengrocer, butcher, fishmonger, baker and newsagent all within a few shops of each other. Granted it’s a village, but it’s so luxurious to have owner managed businesses who know and care about what they sell, at reasonable prices, with my money going back into the local economy and appropriate taxes paid.
These businesses mostly died off when big supermarkets became ubiquitous in the 90s, and the remaining ones are being hit by home delivery.
Can I get a norms-check on a job application question?
I applied for an open role (different team) at the company I was laid off from back in the spring, and was rejected after a very brief HR screening phone call. No harm, no foul. However, when I first applied, I mentioned to my old boss (who I know would be a very strong reference for me) that I was going to apply and asked for any advice, and he just reached out to tell me he’d figured out who the hiring manager was, talked me up to him, hiring manager tried to find my app in the system (but couldn’t, presumably because I’ve already been rejected), and would be happy to talk with me directly, here’s his contact info.
Given that, is it ok reach out to the hiring manager, right? Do I tell my old boss I was officially rejected and double check it’s still ok? Would mediocre-Dave just do it without stressing about it?
I’d give your old boss a call and let him now what happened.
+1
Yes absolutely reach out.
Thanks for the encouragement :). I did update my old boss, and he still thought I should reach out so I did that too!
Yes, you reach out to the hiring manager. The hiring manager said he’d be happy to speak with you, so do that! Who knows why an HR recruiter rejected you. Chances are if the hiring manager really likes you, the HR person will just say, ok my bad and move on. Don’t over complicate this.
I have terrible insomnia. it is a new kind for me, because the problem is staying asleep. I have no problem falling asleep, but wake up all night, the worst nights every hour. I am pretty stressed about illness in my family, so not a stressor that can be removed. Can anybody relate and how did you handle it? TIA
I’ve got perimenopause related insomnia, and it’s awful, so I’m sorry you’re experiencing this. I’d try a few things – low dose of melatonin about an hour before bed along with magnesium. I’d also try journaling right before bed – spend 10-15 minutes to get it all out and then read something calming afterwards.
Sometimes getting the repetitive thoughts out of your head and on paper is enough to calm myself down. If it’s really bad at night I’ll jot down the mental to-do list/ruminations and then tell myself ‘I wrote it down, we can deal with it in the morning, now it’s time to sleep’.
Magnesium glycinate at bedtime is very helpful for me.
I have had insomnia since childhood, but worse during periods of family or work stress. I also can fall asleep but don’t stay asleep.
I find that Zzzquil (nyquil without the medicine) works really well. Also edibles if they are legal in your state (start with half doses if you are unfamiliar). Meditation, hot showers, exhausting exercise during the day, sleepy podcasts — all of those are great, but they are not nearly as good as Zzzquil for helping me through those very rough periods.
Zaleplon is something that helped me but I only need it 1x a week at most – not sure if good idea long term
Other than that magneisum and really watching what I eat for dinner. High protein dinner helps a ton – I noticed a lot of wake ups were blood sugar related
Totally! I went through a stressful few months recently and this happened a lot. As others have said, magnesium supplements were key, together with all the normal advice (cool bedroom, go to bed at the same time each night, gentle stretching routine, minimize news consumption – not easy but impactful). Another thing that I also found is that I can still be reasonably well rested if I wake up repeatedly but don’t beat myself up for it. I have a few well worn audiobooks that I turn on to fall back asleep, and I may not feel super fresh getting up after such a night but it’s okay.
Try a spoonful of peanut butter before bed and see if that helps. Theres some advice out there that if your blood sugar dips in the middle of the night you wake; you’re basically hangry. Pb has fat and protein so it keeps you stable.
thanks all for the responses, very helpful
I have terrible insomnia. it is a new kind for me, because the problem is staying asleep. I have no problem falling asleep, but wake up all night, the worst nights every hour. I am pretty stressed about illness in my family, so not a stressor that can be removed. Can anybody relate and how did you handle it? TIA.
I have that kind of insomnia. So setting aside the fact that it got worse in perimenopause and adding HRT made a huge difference, there are general tricks you can try. I never stay in bed once I wake up. I get up and read or do something else so my brain only equates bed with sleep. I use a sleep app. I know other people who find journaling helps — or leaving a notebook by the bed to dump all of your thoughts into it if you wake up. Also check that your sleep environment is working — temp, darkness, etc.
This might vary with practitioner and person, but my mom has solved this issue with Accupuncture. I find it helps too, but not all practitioners are the same level of effectiveness ime. Might be worth a try though. Mine is covered by insurance so mainly a time commitment.
Thanks for your replies, it helps a lot to feel less alone
Here is some unsolicited advice that I hope nobody will interpret as criticism. I spent last week helping my daughter deal with a storage unit full of stuff left by her dad when he passed away in October 2024. We were lucky in that we didn’t have to pay somebody to haul it away (as I did with my parents’ and father-in-law’s stuff); we found somebody who would take the stuff, sell it in her store, and donate the proceeds to charity. I’m calling it a big win. But… I wish we’d been able to have an estate sale.
So here’s my PSA: Do not put your stuff, or your loved ones’ stuff, in a storage unit if you can possibly help it. My late ex had a lot of interesting belongings and I think it would have made a good estate sale. But… once the stuff was boxed up and removed from the house, that was no longer a possibility. Also, the stuff is out of sight, out of mind, and meanwhile you’re paying a couple of hundred bucks a month for the privilege of not dealing with it. So, my advice is have the estate sale as soon as the person in question leaves their home, whether it’s to go to assisted living, or to go to the cemetery, or whatever.
Thank you for your attention to this matter. ;)
And here’s my advice – if you’re tasked with cleaning out someone’s house, don’t obsess over what’s recyclable or what *could* be cleaned/donated. Make some basic effort, yes (and follow the law for hazardous waste), but instead of taking the time to verify that a 20-year-old old extension cord still works and meets modern safety standards, just…throw it away. Thank me later.
Oh, and if you like easily saving money, go to Yelp and pick the best-reviewed local junk haulers. Dial their number instead of 800-Got-Junk and enjoy paying 15-20% of the price for the same excellent service.
I agree with you! DH has spent way too much time, effort, and energy cleaning out his dad’s storage units. Yes, plural. Plus 2 garages. What a waste, in every way.
My grandpa had an estate sale before he went into assisted living. While the day itself was hard, in the long run it was one million times simpler. When he eventually passed, we only had to deal with the stuff in his small apartment, not an entire household.
I agree mostly, but with the following caveat: if putting the stuff in storage instead of getting rid of it is what’s necessary to convince your elderly person to move into assisted living or skilled nursing when it’s time, just get the storage unit.
This is me. Did to get a parent who was never going home again to agree to move out of grungy depressing $$$ subacute rehab to a nicer and more affordable 1 bedroom in assisted living 7 states away but in my city (but with decades of suits and ties in storage should he need them). After filling 2 dumpsters, there is still a 10×20 unit of things and a house that was sold with 80% of the furniture and tools with it.
I love the Swedish tradition of Döstadning,
for the ones that doesnt know it, It focuses on simplifying and organising our belongings before we die, in order to ease the burden on oneself and the loved ones left behind after death.
It is so hard to grieve and the process of getting rid of a loved one’s things at the same time. I wanted to mention that it IS possible to have an estate sale from a storage unit. It’s not easy, but this is what I did with one of the two estate sales I had to have when my mom died. The estate sale company had me rent another storage unit of the same size adjacent to the full storage unit. They used the empty storage unit to stage and photograph the items for an online estate sale, and then organized them in the 2 units for pick up. After the online estate sale there was a time window over a period of a couple of days for the buyers to come pick things up. Then the estate sale company took the remaining items to Goodwill or other charities for donation. They did all the work. Factoring in the cost of renting the extra storage unit, we didn’t make much money from the estate sale, but I consider it as paying someone to deal with all the stuff, and then the storage units were cleaned out and I could stop paying that rent. It helped that family and friends helped me go through her things before they were put in storage to pull out things I wanted to keep and anything of sentimental or monetary value and all private documents. So, I knew that everything in the storage unit was presorted.
I’ve been in a terrible mood this week because of the general state of the world, the snow/ice in my area making outdoor exercise hard, and work being full on. It’s going to sound silly but in addition to donating/calling my representatives, the thing that helped most was running errands in my town. The cashiers were all kind and people were very sweetly checking in on each other after the storm. I also left drinks/snacks for our mail carrier and offered our electrician a tea & cookie break before his next stop, which he seemed to enjoy. As the kids say ‘touching grass’ was what my brain needed.
I could use a script for talking to an employee who does good quality work, but not enough of it. Employee shares tasks with another employee, and they divide informally based on who has capacity. Unfortunately, I don’t have good metrics to quantify the disparity. Employee in question is remote, and I can’t tell if it’s an efficiency issue or if the person (salaried) is working less than a full day.
If you can’t quantify the disparity, how do you know the employee isn’t doing enough work?
Can you explain the problem more? Is the work not getting done, or is too much work falling on the second employee?
I think your first step is getting some data (eg, answering the questions above, with something demonstrable).
Employee 1’s response time is slower than employee 2’s. Because employee 2 is closing things out quicker, they can move on the the next thing. Over the course of a month, I know employee 2 is completing more work than employee 1 but I don’t have precise numbers – my rough guess is the work is split 40-60. Employee 2 is not complaining but I don’t want this to quietly build into resentment. I’m hoping not to make this a big thing, and am just looking for ways to frame my request that employee 1 step it up a notch.
One thing to think about is: entirely setting aside Employee 2, is the quantity and quality of work Employee 1 getting done reasonable (relative to their seniority & salary). Like if you just had Employee 1, would you be thinking “I need to hire 1.5 more of them” or would be thinking “I made a bad hire”. You want to figure out if the situation is “I have one weak performer and one good performer” or “I have a good performer and a stellar performer” (or even: “one terrible and one pretty mediocre”), and you can’t do that if you’re only evaluating each one’s performance based on the other’s
Different situations, different solutions
People work at different rates. I don’t know that you can expect employees to produce exactly the same amount and 60-40 isn’t a huge discrepancy. If Employee 1 is not producing at the rate you expect for the role, I would focus on that and not the comparison to Employee 2, who might just be unusually efficient.
I mean, people aren’t identical. Is employee 1 objectively too slow for the role, or is employee 2 just faster? The solution could be giving employee 2 some more stretch projects (so that work from the shared queue is then naturally more evenly spread) as opposed to telling employee 1 to get more efficient, depending on the answer.
Is complexity a factor? It can take longer to do some projects than others.
This is a really important distinction, OP. If your “slower” employee is methodically claiming and knocking out the hardest, more complex projects while the “faster” employee is grabbing all the easy, low-hanging fruit tasks, the resentment is very likely building in the opposite direction. If you go into this thinking the slow employee is the problem, you might end up pushing a quiet rock star out the door.
For a very first conversation, I’d start all the way back at “hey how’s your workload? Do you have capacity to take on some more stuff?”
In an ideal world, people tell you when they’re underutilized and they’re trying to fill up their time with “professional development” or just working fewer hours, but sometimes they don’t bring it up until you ask! (And then solutions might be something like the two employees divide the task list equally at the beginning of the day/week, rather than catch-as-catch-can, so the faster one also gets a shot at development projects or maybe taking a longer lunch)
Before you raise it you need to figure out how to measure it. I’d say to both you want to assess workload and make sure everything is allocated appropriately; for the next two months can you let me know how many memos / tickets / whatever you are getting through each week? Then at the end of the cycle you can say: in the review period there were 80 tickets and employee A handled 60% of them. Employee b, to make sure the allocation is more even, please aim to hit 5 tickets a week and let me know if that’s not happening and we can troubleshoot.
Or give specific assignments to each employee with clear deadlines, rather than working from a common list.
Are you bored at work? This doesn’t sound like something that needs to be addressed.
+1. Do you hate the “slower” person for unprofessional reasons?
It feels like you’re trying to find fake value to contribute.
In case you wanted to know—
EVERY major hardware store I’ve found is a Trump donor (assuming that’s what you’re looking to avoid). I haven’t found a good substitute here.
Wayfair is a surprisingly not-bad company ethically, even if they tend to have a lot of junk on their platform. I don’t know enough about some of the others.
Thanks! I think Lowes is marginally better than Home Depot but Home Depot is around the corner and my husband visits a few times a week. I am just trying to make a little dent because we saw it work with Target.
Ehh I’ve read enough about Wayfair’s kooky founder / CEO, plus their platform has a lot of junk on the level of Amazon or Temu, so I’m not a huge fan of them. I did buy some stuff from them when I bought a house a few years ago but none of it was high quality.
I’ve recently acquired a bad case of plantar faciitis so I’m looking for more supportive shoes. I’m not a sneaker person. I like some of the styles from both Taos and Vionic. Can anyone speak to their experiences with either of these brands specifically for arch support? Any particular model? Open to other recs for other brands. My feet are otherwise average size and width. PS This came out of nowhere and I’m mad about it!
I had the worst PF earlier this year. I’ve read that barefoot shoes help and that does help me if my flare up is small. I like the brand Xero. But I think strengthening and stretching my leg muscles really helped it go away when it was at its worst. Lots of theories out there about how fascia connects our entire body and tightness in one area seemingly unrelated (like your hips) can show up in your feet.
Those PF sleeves were marginally helpful. The arthritis/NSAID lotion (Voltaren?) also helped me. Good luck!
I bought an earlier version of these shoes. I’m extremely picky about shoes and these were the first I’ve tried on in ages that felt amazing right out of the box. (Duck feet, bunions, narrow heels. No arches.)
https://a.co/d/1GQ2tRw
Xero Shoes Women’s HFS II Barefoot Running Shoes
I had this so bad when I ran a lot and it’ll still flare up when I ramp up mileage.
I agree with stretching and strengthening the muscles. Deep squats, calf raises and declines, and tracing the alphabet with your big toe are great. If it’s really bad or flares at night, I’d get a Strassburg sock or similar foot brace to wear when sleeping. It’s not comfortable but helps stretch the fascia. Over time you should be able to wear it less frequently.
The Dansko Paisley was the only sneaker-ish shoe I could stand the last time my PF flared up. They also have other styles that look more like a running shoe and less like a hiker.
https://dansko.com/products/paisley-navy-milled-nubuck?_gl=1*ch0618*_up*MQ..*_ga*MTY5NDUwODE1MC4xNzY5ODg3NTIx*_ga_T4QJCN4X6R*czE3Njk4ODc1MjAkbzEkZzAkdDE3Njk4ODc1MjAkajYwJGwwJGgxMTYzMTE3NzQ5*_ga_LT6SMB45GE*czE3Njk4ODc1MjEkbzEkZzAkdDE3Njk4ODc1MjEkajYwJGwwJGgw
I like ABEO for support, which I want for putting in time or miles on my feet. (I agree with others that Xero can be helpful for strengthening and stretching feet, which is different.)
I had good experience with my kuru shoes when I had PF
Slightly off topic but I recommend a foot massage roller. Mine is from Gaiam.
Thanks for the reminder, I need to get one of these!
I had a horrible case of PF in both feet a few years ago that went on for a year, despite PT. My Taos Crave boots got me through it. I ended up with two pairs–black and red–and wore them every day, including to work. I found out that I am senior enough, apparently, that no one cares or perhaps notices if I wear combat boots with everything, including my suits.
I need a slight heel (like 1.25″) for comfort when the PF is flaring up. I still have periodic troubles and one foot that will never be perfect again.
I highly recommend Taos–any style. I also wear Ecco, Pikolinos, one style of Doc Martens, and some Clarks comfortably. I use purchased insoles–WalkHero are excellent and much cheaper than Superfeet, and leather Ecco–to bring other shoes (loafers, snow boots) up to snuff for sore feet.
Vionics are okay in terms of support, but fit a bit inconsistently. I hope you start to heal up soon!
Thank you! This was really helpful to hear your experience esp since I really like the Taos styles. I have also found Doc Martens and Clarks are ok in a pinch (I guess we have the same taste in shoes, lol) but right now I’m in a big flare and need more. And, coincidentally I also bought Walk Hero insoles and finding them helpful!
Does anyone have experience with Canvelle brand bags? Is the quality good? The price seems high for not being leather.
Yes – bought their beach tote a couple summers ago and love it. Sturdy, zippers have held up well, and have machine washed it multiple times with no problem. I also use it as my personal item for flying to beach trips so it hauls heavy stuff – laptop, etc – and the straps haven’t stretched or sagged.
Yes. I have several of their fanny packs (oversized and regular) and the matching wallets. I use them as casual bags and for travel. Lightweight, super comfortable to wear, and because they are machine washable they all still look brand new. The company is great too- they sent me a quilted bag with defective stitching and sent me a brand new one without making me return the defective one.
I have really prominate deep 11 lines between my eyebrows at 39. I did two rounds of Botox with my dermatologist but I didn’t like how it felt – it felt like I was raising my eyebrows the whole time and I swear they look even deeper than before. They really bother me it feels really noticeable in pictures. Any ideas? Do I see a plastic surgeon? Give the Botox another shot? Is this a filler situation? Would prefer to not inject anything but they are so deep they prob need something like that
I do not use filler anywhere else because I think it is hard to have it look natural, but I do get filler between my eyebrows to solve this issue because I was so tired of looking like I was scowling all the time. I do think it is important to see an a cosmetic dermatologist because that is an area that can lead to complications if the procedure is not done properly.
Estée Lauder Advanced Night Repair serum works for me. Give it several weeks for results.
Thanks for your replies, it helps a lot to feel less alone