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Splurge Monday’s Workwear Report: Tailored Short-Sleeve Shirtdress

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A woman wearing a blue shirtdress and silver heels

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

Every summer, I find myself invited to at least one or two work-related events with inscrutable dress codes. What am I wearing to a panel discussion at a resort where half of the attendees will be dressed like they’re headed to the pool and the other half are in blazers? A shirtdress. Consistently. 

This tailored short-sleeved shirtdress from Theory looks polished enough to hang out with the business casual folks but wouldn’t be totally inappropriate if you end up in the fun group heading directly from the official programming to the poolside bar.

For the office, I would add a blazer and my favorite know-your-office summer shoes.

The dress is $475 at Nordstrom comes in sizes 00-16.

Sales of note for 4/18/25 (Happy Easter if you celebrate!):

  • Nordstrom – New spring markdowns, savings of up to 50%!
  • Ann Taylor – 40% off + extra 15% off your entire purchase
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50%-70% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Boden – 10% off new womenswear
  • The Fold – 25% off selected lines
  • Eloquii – extra 40% off all sale
  • Everlane – Spring sale, up to 70% off
  • J.Crew – Spring Event: 40% off sitewide + extra 40% off all sale
  • J.Crew Factory – 40%-70% off everything + extra 20% off orders over $125
  • Kule – Lots of sweaters up to 50% off
  • M.M.LaFleur – Earth Day Sale, take 25% off eco-conscious fabrics. Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
  • Rothy's – Final few – Up to 50% off last chance styles; new favorites added
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns

220 Comments

  1. Vicarious shopping help please! Just purchased this dress for a theater gala in June. The overlay is hunter green and there is an underlay of deep gold/bronze. Love the dress and can’t believe I lucked out at the price. Now I need shoes and jewelry help.

    Here is the dress: https://www.nordstrom.com/s/connected-apparel-chiffon-overlay-fit-flare-dress/5934522

    Shoes – need advice on color and style. I thought bronze might do the trick but the pickings are slim. As to style, my super bad feet prevent anything without some support, which is limiting. Welcome any ideas.Am used to paying up to $400 for shoes (see: super bad feet) so not too worried about price.

    Same questions on jewelry – color and style. If I go bronze/gold with shoes, I assume I need the same color in jewels. If I wind up with black for shoes, what jewelry would you recommend? Am slowly building a jewelry wardrobe so again, for the right piece, price not a concern.

    Thanks for any help shopping on a Monday morning.

    1. Are you also going to need a clutch or evening bag, and do you need a wrap or other covering against the air conditioning?

    2. What a pretty dress! For shoes, I’d do gold if you can. Can your feet handle wedges? Or a kitten heel?

      I’d keep the jewelry simple, since it’s such a floaty, delicate dress. Small gold studs, a gold bracelet/cuff. I don’t think it needs a necklace, but others might disagree.

      1. OP: My feet can handle wedges, or platforms (although those tend to look chunkier, and I think this dress needs more delicate).

    4. What shoe brands do you typically find good for this sort of thing? I would start there and then look for something gold tone or beige in a low heel. Or you could even do a cream topper and cream shoes or match shoes to a clutch.

      Me

    7. Since your feet are picky, what about the Margaux City Sandal? It comes in gold, but not bronze.

      1. I have these in a sort of snake pattern. They’re very cute, but they are not comfortable in the way that Naturalizers are.

      2. I have a wide foot and tried the Margaux City Sandal in a size up and wide and still found them wildly uncomfortable.

        3. OP: To die for! Ordering these and a couple of other suggestions to see what works best. Thank you everyone!

    10. Ooh, pretty. I’d wear black sandals with this dress. Bronze will be impossible to find or match. For comfort I love the Stuart Weitzman Nearlynude or Nudistcurve block-heel sandals. You can find some styles on super sale.

      1. Would you wear black sandals with the hunter green color? (I would totally wear black sandals with the “default” color, but when I looked at the lighter green dress I wasn’t as confident.)

        1. Oh, sorry, I was looking at the gold. With the green I’d do gold, champagne, or nude-for-you. The Stuart Weitzman sandals come in a champagne color called “platine” that would be perfect.

    11. You might liker to look at Sole Bliss, in case you can get a pair of shoes from them on time.

    12. I might do a brooch high on the dress, near your face. I’d also go for gold or bronze shoes… what brands have worked for your super bad feet?

      what about these:
      https://www.zappos.com/p/womens-naturalizer-galaxy-dark-gold/product/9951725/color/67144
      https://inez.com/products/sofia-soft-gold
      https://mavette.com/products/rosella-sandal-gold-satin?_pos=5&_fid=15763e547&_ss=c

      you could also go off book and do a hot pink or hot red shoe to match lipstick + clutch too, or pull out a color if you have a patterned wrap
      https://inez.com/products/alicia-orchid-lizard
      https://us.fableengland.com/products/catherine-rowe-s-into-the-woods-scarf
      maybe something like this or the first color?
      https://tnuck.com//products/noir-blooming-botanical-scarf?variant=44264974123230&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwyJqzBhBaEiwAWDRJVG0lAvJYM53XaUgC_gYl17Dmqmw91wwLd_dN8APX_abxNObe3W4bYRoCt_wQAvD_BwE

    13. how about these
      https://www.fluevog.com/shop/7630-kiernan-black?item=20&of=463&anchor=true

      over budget but maybe:
      https://www.mytheresa.com/us/en/women/emilia-wickstead-sophia-floral-satin-pumps-green-p00828755

      dark green jimmy choo on saaaaaallllleeee
      https://us.jimmychoo.com/en/sale/women-sale/shoes/romy-85/dark-green-metallic-snake-printed-leather-pumps-ROMY85HHK031838.html

      much cheaper:
      https://www.nordstrom.com/s/sam-edelman-hazel-pointed-toe-pump-women/7826516?color=TURQOISE+GREEN

      https://www.dsw.com/product/betsey-johnson-ivan-wedge-sandal/563726

      also here:
      https://www.zappos.com/p/womens-blue-by-betsey-johnson-ivan-emerald/product/9907661/color/25469

      don’t know this brand but maybe:
      https://girotti.com/women-heels/classic-pointed-toe-heels-46259.html

  2. Someone recently posted that they had a recommendation for a primary care doc in the Dallas suburbs — do you mind sharing that name here? Thanks in advance.

    1. That might have been me or someone else, but I have a rec. Her name is Dr. Mara Cunningham and she is part of the UTSW system which makes getting into specialists (if needed) easier.

  3. Wanted to post a review of this dress that I pulled the trigger on thanks to some encouragement here. https://www.jcrew.com/p/womens/categories/clothing/dresses-and-jumpsuits/sophia-sleeveless-midi-dress-in-tweed/BY798?display=standard&fit=Classic&color_name=dark-evening&colorProductCode=BY798

    Just got it and very pleasantly surprised! Seems well made, thick, heavy fabric, lined, substantial, great dark blue color, very flattering. I may have to have it tailored a bit to bring up the top – I am on the cusp of regular and petite sizing and this is just an inch or so too long on my chest/collarbone area. It’s also a bit more work appropriate if you can bring it up that way as otherwise a lot of your chest area is exposed. The only other downside is it’s hard to pair with a jacket due to the buttons. I have a cropped cream colored blazer with no adornments/buttons of any kind and I think it works though not perfectly. Obviously you can wear it alone too but as I am getting this for work events, I prefer to have a jacket option. Any ideas for styling welcome. Glad I listened and got it!

    1. oh that’s pretty! I always love a dark blue dress! And the yellow is really good too – I kind of like how the yellow and gold create a tone on tone look.

    2. I didn’t know it was possible to have a tailor do that! Is it something specific to this style? I have this problem with dresses pretty often (am also just between petite and regular sizing) and would love an option to help!

      1. For a dress like this, it’s often just a matter of opening the seam at the top of the shoulder and tightening that up, so that it lifts the top of the dress. Easy!

        1. Yep! I have this done fairly regularly. It’s an easy fix if the dress is strapless, a little more complicated and expensive if there are sleeves.

  4. Tell me about your experience with oral minoxidil please?

    After a couple of years of topic minoxidil and 5 mg of finasteride, my derm is switching me to a very low dose of oral minoxidil (1.25), with orders to stop if I experience any side effects, and a two month check in. I do already have low blood pressure, so will be watching for lightheadedness etc.

    I was initially delighted – I hated dealing with the topical drops; found it made my dry hair weird ( I don’t wash every day) but have to admit, reading the information that came with the prescription was a bit daunting.

    Not using the internet as a doctor, just wanting to hear about others’ experiences, good or bad, with this approach to hair loss. Had some success with former approach, but she thinks we will see more success trying this.

    1. I switched from topical to oral a few months ago and have loved the change. The doses used for hair loss are much lower than the doses used to treat high BP, so I wouldn’t worry about it too much. My baseline BP is low 100s/60s, and I haven’t had any BP drops on my 2.5mg dose. I recommend taking it right before you go to bed to further lower your risk for BP drops. My hair is holding steady after the switch, too.

    2. I love it. I HATED dealing with the topical foams/potions/whatever. Made my hair look greasy and dirty, and the doctor told me also not to wash it every day (!). I actually asked for the pill form, and my prior PCP and dermatologist refused. My hair derm specialist agreed immediately.

      I also have very low blood pressure at baseline, so while I would love to increase the dose to 3.75, I am tolerating 2.5 ok and probably have to stay there. I do have to be careful not to get dehydrated, or I get lightheaded easily. It definitely lowers my blood pressure some.

    3. I’ve also had great results switching from topical to oral minoxidil. I love not having to mess with the foam.

  5. I need summer sandals that have the ease and comfort of birks, but are not birks. Any leads?

    2. I got a pair of Reefs last year and go back and forth with my birks. My birks feel like a higher quality, but the Reefs are comfortable and easy.

      For really casual – I just got a pair of Archies slides that are really really comfortable. They are totally basic but have foot support and are so very easy to wear.

      1. Birks makes waterproof shoes! The Eva shoes. I have two pairs and wear them at the beach/pool the time.

    4. Tevas? Or do you mean a slightly dressier birks-like option? If that, then Kork-Ease.

    6. The Sorel Ella sandal is what I wear when I need something casual but sleeker than Birks.

    7. I’m recovering from a broken ankle and my physio recommended I wear birks or FitFlops. I bought a couple of pairs of the more casual flip-flop styles but they have more sandally ones as well.

    8. Noat sandals are really comfortable and there are a bunch of different styles. I love the support they give.

    9. Tory Burch has several sandals that are similar in style to birks. I think they are called the Miller Cloud. They have the cork bottom and regular bottoms.

    13. I wear Bzees sandals. I know other readers complained they look plasticky, but I love the comfort.

    15. Munro. Some are super old lady, but I’ve been wearing the Aries sandal since my early 30s and think they look good.

    19. I have a pair of Olukai that are fairly comfortable (Birks never worked for me and I hate them :) YMMV)

  6. Wedding guest etiquette:
    Is this floral pink/white/green dress too white for a wedding in the U.S. or appropriate? There are two versions, Reese Whiterspoon is wearing the one in question.

    Kohls- Women’s Draper James Flutter Sleeve Belted Maxi Dress

    1. What kind of wedding? I don’t think it’s too white but it may be too casual? I would at least swap out the sash belt for something more formal.

    3. It’s pretty but seems very casual, unless this is a backyard and/or outdoorsy kind of wedding.

    5. I agree with the others, not too white but too casual for most weddings. This is like, a cute brunch with girlfriends dress, not for evening.

    7. Not too much white, and whether or not it’s too casual is very much a regional thing I think. It would be completely fine for almost all summer weddings in my midwest state.

      1. I’m Chicago area but have been to plenty of rural weddings in my state. It would be too casual for most weddings unless backyard picnic. Even then, it’s so easy to find something in a better fabric or at least not that thin. I would wear this to a casual office on a hot day or to a rehearsal dinner. But do something different for a wedding. Even a poly dress would read more appropriate for the occasion. Something cream in that thin of a fabric is going to look even more casual in person.

        1. okay I looked again closer – I agree it can skew casual and I personally wouldn’t wear it to a wedding.

          That said, I still don’t think it would look too casual at a lot of the weddings here where there are almost always men wearing jeans. My sister didn’t want jeans at her wedding and she had to explicitly state – semi-formal, no jeans. And my uncles still whined about it (although complied in the end). People also wear jeans to funerals all the time here. It’s just very casual.

      2. Also in the non-Chicago Midwest and don’t think this would be too casual unless the invite specified a formal dress code.

    8. I’m in casual So Cal and I would absolutely wear that dress to a daytime (but not evening) wedding.

      1. This is absolutely regional. I’m in Georgia (not Atlanta), and I would wear that to a daytime, church or outdoor wedding. I think this board tends to skew more formal and trendy than real life. That’s not a complaint, but I think it’s good to keep in mind with questions like this.

      2. I’m in the Bay Area and would not look askance at a wedding guest wearing that dress. It seems totally appropriate to me.

        1. +1. Unless the dress code is identified as black tie or formal, I think that dress is totally fine for any type of wedding.

          1. Honestly I recently went to an outdoor wedding where the guests were sweltering in the midday heat. Women wearing formal-leaning dresses looked overheated and out of place – nothing like swearing your ass off in poly satin!

            This dress would have been perfect for that wedding, even though the event lasted into the evening.

    10. My rule is if you have to ask if there is too much white, you’re better off with something else!

  7. I realize this is a good problem to have, but my last three weekends have been incredibly social. Since summer is a short season here, people LIVE IT UP. Lots of barbecues, outdoor patio drinks, game nights in people’s backyards, etc. All things that I enjoy, but I am just exhausted. It’s too much for an introvert and yet I can’t seem to grow a backbone and say no because I always have a good time once I get there. I just pay for it for several days afterward. I had three drinks total over the whole weekend and feel like I’ve been on a bender, with how tired I am. Commiseration? Or ways to better recover afterward?

    1. I’m an introvert and I always make sure I have Sunday evening to myself and that it’s just a relaxing evening, no rushing around trying to cram in all the getting ready for the week things put off to the last minute. I also take an early morning yoga class on Mondays, it’s very centering and a great way to kick off the week.

    2. If you enjoy the events once you get there, maybe try a weekend of going to the things and not drinking alcohol at all, so you have some data on whether it’s the drinks or the socializing making you tired?

      1. 3 drinks over a weekend is not enough to be the cause. The point is even when having fun, introverts recharge by quieter time, and so OP’s social battery is more than empty after a full weekend.

        The solution is to do half the stuff – there’s no miracle that will leave OP fully refreshed and energized on Monday if the weekend is back-to-back.

      2. OP here, and it’s definitely the socializing. I love my people, but hangouts that go late into the evening will absolutely drain my battery, whether alcohol is involved or not.

    3. I’m an introvert and I need at least one weekend day where I don’t have plans. You need to set boundaries for yourself.

    4. Set a curfew for yourself and stick to it. In college I thought nothing good happened after 2am but these days it’s more like 10:30. If you don’t want to leave early then switch to water at a set time. Get your laundry, errands, and cleaning out of the way Tuesday-Thursday so a lazy Sunday doesn’t make you fall behind on household tasks.

    7. Socializing is a muscle, you have to exercise it like anything else. Keep going out and it will get a lot easier over time.

    8. You sound like me. Things that I find help a lot. Do nothing during the week and expend all of my social energy on the weekends and/or only do one thing social per day on the weekends (a social coffee or a BBQ, but not both) coupled with some alone time during the week. Because I will book too much if I’m not careful, I now put notes to myself on my calendar like “keep the whole day open” or “don’t make plans for this night” so that I decline an invitation when it arrives.
      I think the only way to recover from too much social time is alone time. I’m assuming you’re still getting enough sleep, eating well, blah blah blah. If not, those things clearly help anyone feel better.

    9. High introvert and I love doing things but I have to have reading time or yoga or something much quieter to recover. Like many suggested, you have to block off your Sunday for solo time. You just have to practice limiting yourself to fewer things. Otherwise, like many introverts you’re going to hit a wall.

  8. Obscure request in search of a specific answer. Many years ago, while staying with a host family in Lyon, France, the mother made a salad that I have never been able to successfully google. As I remember it, it was mainly composed of chopped up tomato, corn, and hard boiled eggs, and the dressing was maybe a vinaigrette-type, yellowish, light but a little bit creamy? I’m not much of a cook so would love to find a recipe as opposed to trying to experiment (even though I think it’s likely pretty simple). I’m hoping someone will read this and say, “Ah oui, that sounds like a _____ salad!”

    1. That sounds like a yummy variation on a Salade Lyonnaise, which can have hard boiled eggs, croutons, and a bacon vinaigrette…or bacon/lardons in the salad, and a different vinaigrette. I’d try a recipe for Salade Lyonnaise, maybe the one from NYT Cooking, add in your tomato and corn, and see what happens?

    2. A vinaigrette with a relatively high mustard content can be slightly creamy. Salads with a corn base and some other vegetables added are pretty common in France; this may have been based on whatever she had on hand that day.

    3. Ooh, I stayed with a host family near Lyon in high school, you are bringing back memories! My host family would have different variations of a “salad composee” which always had hard boiled eggs and different vegetables, and a mustard vinaigrette which was a light yellow.

    4. For the dressing try some variation of good olive oil, Dijon mustard and vinegar, white wine or champagne based on the color, whisked with a little salt and pepper and maybe a splash of lemon juice. For proportions, I tend to do 2 tablespoons or oil and vinegar to 1 tb mustard.

    5. My host mom in France used to dump olive oil and lemon juice into their mustard containers when they were finished and shake it all up to make a dressing with the mustard remnants. Sounds a lot like what you’re describing. And then the salad sounds like a Lyonnaise salad with tomato and corn added.

  9. Checking in on commenter-friend who posted about her biopsy last week. Hope it’s a conclusive, negative result for you! Thoughts and hugs with you.

    1. Was actually just coming on to say thank you to everyone – the biopsy came back high risk but not cancer, so at this point will be looking at just surgery. Have a consult for that later this week but your comments were all helpful in helping me have my ducks in a row as we discuss next steps.

  10. Has anyone bought work dresses from maggy london that can comment on quality/sizing? I have been getting targeted ads and it looks right up my alley. Typically a size 6 for reference.

      1. Yes — quality dropped dramatically about a decade ago. I think she sold the brand.

        1. Good to know; I have some really basics that have stood the test of time, but I was trying to do the math on just how long ago I purchased them! (A long time)

    2. I just bought a Maggy London jumpsuit and it was true to size, if that helps. It has a cool sort of asymmetrical neckline. I am 5’6″ (also a size 6) and the length was perfect to wear with low heels. I would say the quality is Ann Taylorish, maybe a little lower, but for around $100 I was not expecting luxe fabric.

    3. I find the sizing is TTS and very flattering for my curvy shape. I have a bunch of dresses over the years since I attend a lot of conferences with my job and they pack super well. My only complaint is that they don’t put out more. options in their crepe fabric or in full cotton. Those have been my favorites. Also, other brands (often lower price) under the same ownership are Donna Morgan and London Times. Sometimes I’ll find something I like from those as well.

    4. I love my evening dress from Maggie London, circa 2007. I think qualify has gone down since then, but YMMV.

    5. Very synthetic fabric. Whether that works for you is a personal preference. The pro is that they don’t wrinkle much, the con is they don’t breathe.

    6. It’s a department store brand, nothing amazing unless you find a print and cut that absolutely works for you.

  11. Rant: I needed a new suit post baby for a presentation. What I ordered from Ann Taylor didn’t fit so I went to banana republic. Everything in store was comically large, even in like a size 2. The regular pants looked like clown pants on me and the blazer was huge. Who do these clothes look good on? I hopped over to j crew, and all they had were double breasted linen blazers. I finally ended up at brooks brothers spending twice what I wanted to, but their stuff actually fit and looked like business attire! Where is everyone finding classic suiting below the brooks brothers price point these days?

    2. It is incredibly hard to find a regular suit in stores these days. The last time I needed a new suit I went to every store I could think of between the three malls in my city and couldn’t find anything. I ordered a bunch online and finally found something decent from Macy’s or Dillards. I can’t remember. I still have a suit from Talbots from like 2015 that I prefer (but my weight fluctuates a lot and it doesn’t always fit.)

    3. Varies with the season but Talbots still makes real suits sometimes and they come in lots of size options from petite to plus.

    4. I don’t know, but it’s really frustrating. I’m in the market for a blazer or two to wear to the office and bought one online from Loft. It was definitely the right size across the shoulders and in the body, but the sleeves were down to my knuckles and the overall length was comically long. And this was in a petite! It seriously looked like I was wearing my dad’s jacket. The length might have worked if I was wearing it with slim pants (which are decidedly not the look this season, everything is fuller) but I’m looking for something to throw over dresses in my freezing office this summer. It got returned yesterday.

    5. Banana Republic sucks and has done since they went on safari while us working women are trying to kill it in the OFFICE.

      Sadly, post baby I needed as much help as I could get and I either get a suit from Ann Taylor which I have tailored or I can wear off the hanger from Brooks Brothers. The price works out to be about $400 for the Ann Taylor suit and $600 for the Brooks Brothers suit.

      Talbots and J Crew have suits you can buy online to try on at home. I have stretched the budget to Boss, Brooks Brothers and I have mixed a few Ann Taylor dresses with various jackets from other suits which fit me.

  12. Another question about graying hair; please don’t turn this into a Thing. I (age 44) am still covering my gray roots every 5 weeks at the salon. The roots are very visible to me around week 3, though. My original hair color is a nondescript ashy medium brown, and that’s what my stylist is using for my base color. I’m pretty sure she’s using a permanent, not demi, though I’m not totally sure. I get highlights every 5-6 months so that my hair stays multidimensional.

    What’s bothering me is that my hair is starting to look brassy by the time I get to the salon. I suspect that now that I have more gray, it’s just not covering as easily or it’s fading more quickly. What’s the solution here? Highlights more often? Choose a different base color? I dislike my root situation but don’t feel ready to commit to growing out the grays yet. I’m probably not going to color more often than I already am because I’m spending a lot on hair maintenance already. I guess I’m looking for something that grows out gracefully.

    It’s possible that I’d look OK with gray hair because I have light skin and blue eyes, but I also think I’d look older than my peers very quickly. I’m vain enough to be bothered by this.

    1. Have you thought about going blonde? It will help make the roots less noticeable.

      1. I think going blonde is the answer for light skin and blue eyes. My mother in law has been blonde the 20 years I’ve known her and I was surprised to find out that her natural color is a light ashy brown. I always thought she was a blonde.

      2. IDK. I was blonde in college, and looking back on those photos, it really wasn’t a great look on me and clashed with my undertones. Maybe it was the wrong shade of blonde.

        1. The wrong shade of blond really is an issue. Even at the same level of blond, warm or cool toned makes a huge difference. I would never have guessed that my light olive complexion called for a slightly ashy blonde but that is indeed what looks best on me.

          1. Light olive skin can be cool toned – even though you might look golden – which makes ashy blonde perfect.

    2. have you tried a purple or blue shampoo and conditioner to tone out the brassiness? I like Klorane’s.

        1. oh yeah, I’ve used a taupe gloss when my hair was brassy! DPhue was the brand, I think.

    3. I had this and the salon switched to a more ashy dye, while I stopped using (what I thought was gentle, but was stripping colour) baby shampoo. The combo is better for less brassiness, but I still see annoying grow out. If I had the hair type for it, I’d have bangs to cover the more obvious white hair on my hairline.

    5. The brassiness and the grays seem like different problems to me. Definitely purple shampoo/conditioner for the brassiness. And then I’d maybe try switching to blonde highlights for your roots vs the base color to help with the gray. I think the blonde highlights will blend into the grays better and make them less noticeable.

      I’d discuss your whole post with your hair stylist, and if they don’t have a good solution maybe look for a different one? I stuck with an older-school stylist for a long time and kept getting meh hair color I thought that it was my fault and I wasn’t describing what I wanted clearly enough. Then I switched to a hair salon that markets more to younger clients and a younger stylist – I immediately felt like I was getting the hair color and cut that felt more current. Just something to keep in mind if you feel like you’re stuck.

      1. Yeah, I agree that it’s two separate issues. I hadn’t thought of trying the purple shampoo but that may be an option to get me through the roughest weeks. I may ask my stylist about going blonder with the highlights to see if that would help things blend better.

        1. Purple shampoo really helps for me a lot during the later grow out stage…I went really blonde this last time with all over highlights and my stylist recommended I come in at 8 weeks because I’d see district grow out. Well at 7 weeks I thought I was fine and I rescheduled the appt to 12 weeks, and then at 8.5 weeks realized that stylist had been totally right but then I was stuck waiting another 4 weeks. :D That’s right now. I’ve done a couple of 20 minute sessions with purple shampoo and that has helped a lot as I wait. If you leave it in for 20 minutes you may get the very lightest hint of light light purple, which I’m completely delighted with today.

    6. Are you already using one of those purple shampoos and conditioners? (They make a huge difference for me as a blonde)

    7. I use brown hair powder the last week before the new color. My ends start to fade after multiple trips to the salon and every so often I have them either pull the color all the way thru or throw a semi gloss on to reduce the brassiness. My hair is fairly dark and I go in every 5 weeks as well

      1. What brand of hair powder do you like? I have that spray stuff everybody seems to love and hate how it makes my hair feel, which is sticky and dirty.

        1. I use L’Oréal Professional Hair Touch Up Root Concealer in one of the browns. Let’s be clear—this isn’t to extend a wash or anything, just to cover the little roots. I style, then hit the crown with the spray powder, maybe lift up some to get roots that would show if I flip my hair or tuck behind my ears. I don’t spray all over and I’m not running my fingers through it. (Your fingers would be brown.). It works until the next wash, if it comes off on your pillow in your sleep it washes out

    8. I do the grey roots on top of my head and around my face every 3 1/2 weeks and go to the salon every 7 weeks. I really don’t want to walk around with grey roots showing for two weeks ever!

    9. Try a cooler shade of color, sulfate-free shampoo made for color (I like the Madison Reed shampoo and conditioner), and a gloss every so often.

    10. I have two solutions for you that need to be taken together

      1. Talk to your colorist about the brassiness. You’re correct that it means your color is fading faster, but your stylist will be best equipped to tell you if that’s due to a change in your routine – different shampoo, more frequent washing, sun & wind exposure – or if it’s because you have more gray hair now and it’s resistant to color. Depending on the answer, she can change your formula or processing time to reduce the brassiness.

      2. In the meantime, for at-home improvement, I prefer color-depositing conditioner to blue or purple shampoo. Madison Reed and dpHUE make good ones. As a bonus, a color conditioner might help with your roots as well as toning the brassiness. Make sure you tell your stylist what you have used, as it could change how your color works.

    11. I have dark brown hair and get my roots touched up every 3 weeks. It’s just the reality or you will see my gray in week 4.

  13. Do you ever feel like you’re just not doing enough? There’s so much bad stuff going on in the world, on every level from international wars to interpersonal relationships.

    I work in the public sector in a helping adjacent role (management / admin in a helping field), I donate to charity, I volunteer, I’m kind to people, and I try to make choices that are a net positive, even if they’re not perfect (and who among us can be perfect?). I also recognize that no one person can save the world, and this doesn’t rest on my shoulders (yes, I am the eldest daughter). However, I still always feel like I should be doing more (and, I certainly could do more. But, as stated, I’m still only one person).

    1. Nope. I do what I can. I think we all should. But I cannot do everything and that is ok, I don’t need to!

      1. I agree with both of you. We do what we can but it’s absolutely still not enough. It’s not actually ok but that’s the reality we all have to contend with as we live our lives. All choices have consequences—some of us are lucky in that we can ignore them and some of us suffer those consequences in a way that’s disproportionate to what other people suffer.

        1. I think it is ok. It is ok that I do what I can and do not literally walk around in a sackcloth sleeping on dirt to do the most.

    2. I definitely feel this way at times, even though I also do a lot to help. It’s so hard because, as you stated, each individual can only do so much.

      I grew up very low key Christian (not a denomination that was brimstone and hellfire nor one focused on guilt, sin, and hell – in fact, we were probably one step away from being UU), but I always felt so guilty for not following the “if you have two coats, give one away”. I am into fashion so how do I square owning multiple coats for fun, fashion reasons with not being greedy and selfish?

    3. I don’t volunteer and my political advocacy for issues I care about has been…lackluster. But I try not to be too hard on myself because it’s been a crazy time personally for over a year now. I firmly believe that individual actions can have impact and that it’s important to have an “internal locus of control,” but I also won’t bury myself during a hard time.

    4. I find that doing good is almost a tragedy of the commons – I very strongly believe in acting in favor of the common good as much as possible. I’m not perfect, but I try to vote, shop, consume, choose a career, treat others (strangers and loved ones) and raise my kids in ways that promote the common good.

      However, how much can I really undo when so many people out there are not acting for the common good?

      I’m not terribly religious, but I’ve always loved the hymn “Let There Be Peace On Earth” so I try to really live the “let peace begin with me” line. I’m still a hot headed red head at times, but if I try to guide my actions with peace, charity, and love I’m off to a good start.

    5. Definitely not. I donated a ton during 2020, posted things on social media, made phone calls, etc. Now I feel like I’m in the exact same place with the same election coming except I wouldn’t be surprised if Trump won this time. There’s nothing I can do that will make a significant difference in the world without truly sacrificing my mental, physical and financial health. I focus on myself and my friends and family. That’s all I can do.

      1. I hate to say it, but I kind of agree with you. I see the train wreck coming and honestly there doesn’t seem to do anything I can do except maybe damage control in my own little corner of the world. (And yes, of course I vote and of course I donate money to causes I believe in.)

    6. Jumping on this: I work pretty erratic hours (not terribly long, just unpredictable) and travel often so in person volunteering or any volunteering with a set schedule is hard for me. I need to volunteer more, but have been struggling to find something I can do remotely and on my own time.

      I care about a ton of causes, so not picky about the cause. My professional skill sets are centered around operations and communications – think chief of staff / executive officer type tasks, but happy to work outside of that skill set.

      1. If you earn enough to donate money, that is more valuable to most orgs than volunteer work.

      2. Maybe Distributed Proofreaders or National Archives (NARA) volunteering would be a good fit for you with those constraints. No personal experience with them yet.

    7. I do sometimes fell like that. Especially these days, for various reasons. But life gets in the way. A few things I do that matter to me: I always vote in all the elections I’m entitled to vote in, I have monthly donations set up for causes I care about, I try to do little things for the environment every day. But I’m only person and it’s easy to get really overwhelmed by the state of the world, so I also try to focus on the fact that I’m also taking care of myself and of my immediate family first and foremost.

    8. I think a lot about the Jewish wisdom “you are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to desist from it”. I don’t feel entitled to the luxury of saying fuck it, I can’t fix it so I won’t try anymore, basically. My efforts are small in the grand scheme of things but I think it’s important to make them.

      2. What does this mean? You don’t have to do it, but you can’t not do it. That doesn’t make sense to me, but what am I missing? Genuine question meant to be neutral and not at all rude.

        1. I’m not the original Anonymous and so maybe I’m wrong but I read it as, for example, I can’t fix the overwhelming trash issues that are happening in America where people are buying clothes and all sorts of other things with no plans to use them in the long or mid-term just so they can have a hot new thing.

          But I can be thoughtful with my purchases and I can actively participate in recycling programs even when the city makes it hard and I can use freecycle-type groups to try to give items I own a new life when I am done with them.

        2. I posted the quote. It’s important to see that it’s not ‘you don’t have to do it’, it’s ’you don’t have to do it all’, that is, just because you can’t do it all doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it at all.

          If it helps to take it out of the realm of slightly fuzzy social action, I also think quite a bit about medieval cathedrals, which would be built over decades or even centuries. For each individual craftsman they weren’t obligated to complete the work, they didn’t expect to ever see the finished cathedral, nobody thought if they just tried harder they could finish the cathedral fifty years earlier – but it was still their job to do and they still did it because it needed to be done and they could help get it a little bit closer to complete. Does that help?

          (Disclaimer: I’m not Jewish and I have no deep insight into or knowledge of the text this is from, and there may be commenters who can give a more nuanced answer, but I see it fairly often as a standalone provocation or exhortation and that’s how I think about it.)

    9. This is interesting. Maybe I’m an awful person, but I don’t feel this guilt personally. I do work in an impactful profession so I feel like I’m doing what I can. I am devoting the majority of my day to this one area I think I can actually improve. I don’t know how to improve other things but I can work on this.

    10. No, and I do less than you’re reporting you do. I don’t think guilt is productive or necessary.

      1. I guess guilt isn’t the right word, but like as a citizen I have an obligation to do my best to make this world good.

  14. Does Boll and Branch ever have significant sales? We need a duvet insert but would love a deal.

    1. Not exactly what you asked but Company Store has good comforters in a variety of styles that you can pair with duvet covers and they’re having a big sale now/next few weeks.

      1. That’s where I always used to buy this kind of thing, but in recent years, I’ve been disappointed with the quality.

    3. I love my Bedsure insert from Amazon. It was like $30. Obviously not down, but it’s fluffy and the best. I’m converted, after many years of paying way more!

    1. I love the Korres greek yogurt foaming cleanser. It doesn’t dry me out and feels pretty gentle on my skin

    2. I have very dry skin and I use Tosowoong Enzyme Powder Wash. It’s a granular powder that you add water to which makes it foam up. It’s very gentle but takes off basically anything.

    3. I like the Beauty Pie japanese one. Or a cleansing oil. Anything foaming seems to make dryness worse for me.

    4. I started using the FAB face wash after getting a sample size of it, and am amazed at how much it’s helped with dryness.

    6. Depends on what it’s for. For morning cleansing or a second cleanse, I really like La Roche Posay Toleraine Hydrating cleanser.

      For the evening to get any makeup or sunscreen off, I use a balm or oil cleanser. My current favorite is from Beauty Pie, but I also like the Farmacy and Glow Recipe balm cleansers.

      I don’t think water based cleansers can clean makeup & sunscreen off well enough on their own.

        1. Beauty Pie Super Healthy Skin balm cleanser. It’s a tiny bit stiffer but you rub it between your fingers for a second, then it’s the same. I’ve used both and the Beauty Pie one is as close as it gets.

    8. +1 for the First Aid Beauty face wash, I’ve used it for several years. I’ve also started using the Paula’s Choice Perfectly Balanced Foaming Cleanser – I really like it as the 2nd cleanse in my double cleanse routine.

  16. I use Vanicream or Cerave from the drugstore. Very gentle and moisturizing. Agreed that you need to double cleanse to take makeup off first.

  17. Thanks to everyone who responded to my post last week about difficulties adopting a dog. To provide more context, I’m in Canada and we just don’t have the same volume of dogs that shelters/rescues in the US do. If I was across the border, I think I could have my pick of dogs in a hot minute! But the rescues here are extremely particular. From all my research and months applying for dogs, here’s what I’ve learned:

    -They want someone home with the dog all day. No working outside the home. Even if the dog will have a lunchtime break. Forget about it.
    -Must have a fenced yard. Will not consider people in apartments. Even if they say they will consider someone in an apartment, they are lying.
    -For many dogs they will only consider someone who already has a dog at home, so the dog will have company.
    -They want a vet reference, even if you don’t have a vet because you don’t currently have a dog…but common sense doesn’t seem to apply here.
    -The only way to really get a dog is to sign up to be a foster parent.

    I see the same dogs available for adoption online for weeks and months at a time, and it’s heartbreaking…but it’s like the rescues don’t WANT anyone to adopt them!! Every single dog I’ve inquired about – even with impeccable references, years of experience, etc – I haven’t heard back.

    I’m taking a break from this whole ridiculous experience and re-evaluating in the future.

    1. Many rescues in the USA are like that too. The people who volunteer with the org are very particular, a little pet crazy, and would rather have a pet be in a foster home forever than go to a home that is not 100% perfect in their mind

      1. +1 it was actually really hard for me to adopt a dog in the US, even though I had 2 cats I’ve successfully kept alive over a decade. I must have applied to 10 rescues before I got approved. Don’t give up!

      2. Yeah all of the rescues around me (including the one I volunteer with) lets perfect be the enemy of good. It’s annoying.

    2. The rescue adoption process in the US has all of the same problems, unless you want to adopt a bully breed or hound mix from a shelter. Buying a puppy from a reputable breeder is probably the best way to get a dog.

    3. That kind of thing makes me think we won’t be able to get a dog from a rescue or a shelter at all – we live in an apartment, have no yard, etc., and all the shelters around here have 99% pit or chihuahua mixes, which would not work for us. We’d give a dog a great life and we have a paved walking trail literally behind our complex.

      1. Yes, I live literally steps from parks and walking paths and the waterfront, but no. That’s not good enough. (Isn’t taking the dog on frequent walks better than leaving it in the yard all day?!)

        I would absolutely give a dog a loving home. I’m single, no kids, not planning on any so this dog would be my life!

        Meanwhile if you go on Kijiji there are dozens of ads for dogs from backyard breeders that I could have in a snap. It’s so frustrating.

    4. In the US, there are strong regional variations. In the northeast, the rescues are picky AF and have rejected amazing pet parents.

      In the south, showing up with the adoption fee and a stable home is often enough to get a pet placed. When I adopted my cat a couple of years ago, the shelter was quite enthusiastic about us: married professional couple, and we each had taken in cats for family members. (Family has to go overseas, doesn’t want to take feline; elderly aunt dies, feline needs a home type situations.)

      1. No joke, I often visit family in the southern US so I’ve thought about trying to get a dog from there because of the reasons you mentioned.

        1. Fair warning–I think this is a pretty big overgeneralization. I live in the south and find this is absolutely not the experience I have had (and the same goes for too many friends and family to count). Same type of “rules” you mention in your original post frequently apply in the south.

          2. Yes, sadly what we have in places in the rural south are old style dog pounds. They may be called shelters but they are not. They are not shelters, rescues , or anything like. Animals that are not timely adopted are destroyed. Pay your fee, get your dog. I would suggest using petfinder dot com to locate a dog you like somewhere within driving distance of your family. Get it locally vetted and whatever else you need to get it into Canada. It’s probably going to cost you about eighty bucks and a vet bill.

      2. +1 had a lot of trouble adopting in New England, and all the rescues bring dogs up from the South

    5. I got my latest dog from the county pound. Lots of variety, low cost. They neutered him for an extra $50, in addition to the $50 regular fee. I had looked at the local Humane Society facilities first, which had really high fees (same as a “rescue” group), and less variety. Is there a government agency system in Canada that would be comparable? The city? County? Province?

      1. Yes, we have the Humane Society and the SPCA but most of their dogs are bully breeds which I’m not comfortable with and which are technically illegal to own in my province.

        1. Well, those two groups aren’t really government. So, no “town dog-catcher” equivalent, eh? I was pleased with the county pound, because, as I said, the variety was really good. Also, I knew it was a kill facility, so I was truly rescuing a dog. He’s now a very happy boy living a wonderful life.

    6. I’m really sorry … I know how frustrating it can me. Not that you are asking for it, but I absolutely give you permission to just buy the puppy. From a reputable breeder.

      As you have gathered, the rescue scene varies widely from region to region. I am in Los Angeles and have volunteered with different rescues over the last 15 years and I can say with all due love and respect that rescue people are nuts.

      Many rescues are very difficult to work with and set unnecessary standards for adopters – they give rescues a bad name. However, a lot of times it’s because of the dog, not the potential adopter. To really live up to its name, a rescue should be RESCUING dogs who would otherwise not make it out of the shelter – the elderly, the infirm, the weird, the ugly. Adoptable dogs should be left at the shelter for the general public to adopt – the young, the cute, the easy going, the dogs who are ready to be family members. Rescues really are trying to set their dogs and their adopters up for success, honestly.

      Writing dog bios is a lot like writing real estate listings. You’re not going to write, “This dog is a total PITA and will make your neighbors hate you.” But sometimes that is true.

      If a rescue won’t adopt a dog to someone in an apartment, the dog is probably a barker. If they want someone with an enclosed backyard, the dog may not be reliably house-trained. If they want someone home all the time, I’d bet $1000 that dog has crippling separation anxiety and will destroy your couch in the time it takes you to take your garbage bins out to the curb. If they want another dog in the house, the dog is probably fearful/shy and needs a confident dog buddy to integrate in to the home and not completely ignore the humans. If they won’t adopt to people with children, that Instagram-ready Golden Retriever already has a bite record or will knock over a 130 lb adult.

      If you see a dog available for weeks and weeks on end, that dog is probably not actually adoptable … if it’s in a foster home, thank goodness. That foster either has a super human level of tolerance for dog BS or some magical confluence of circumstances that enable that dog to live there. Don’t fall in love with the picture or the story, because it’s not the whole picture. It’s like online dating!!

      Anyway. A dog is a lifetime commitment. Get the dog you want. Donate to a shelter or the SPCA or a rescue in a city where it will really matter.

      1. This is helpful context that the requirements might really be about the dog’s needs.

      2. I totally get that many rescues are doing what’s best for the dog. Of course, I want what’s best for dogs too. And to clarify, I have no intention of leaving a dog alone for hours every day all day, I’m willing to put in the work of house training, etc. I’m a good, responsible person that would provide a loving home. But because I work outside the home 2 days a week = disqualified.

        There is one rescue here that says every adopter is required to have a fenced yard. For every single dog. Regardless of breed or temperament. I don’t have a fenced yard but I live next door to green space. Will that work? The answer is automatically no.

        There’s no room for nuance or actually having a conversation with these people about how to make it work.

        1. That seems to region specific to me. Of the hundreds of thousands of dog owners in NYC, how many could be expected to have a fenced yard?

          Some of the most devoted dog owners I know are in Manhattan. They employ dog walkers when they can’t be home with the dogs at all hours.

        2. There is, actually, (room for nuance and having a conversation) but it sounds like you are perhaps past the point of being willing to do so. And that’s okay! What I’m trying to convey is that there is a broader context here, beyond just your (extremely frustrating!) experience. Rescues are putting the dogs first, and that doesn’t always line up with adopter’s needs/wants. They’re not a service organization, here to give you a great adoption experience. They get to set the parameters of what they want for their dogs, regardless of whether it makes sense to you (or anyone else). They put up the time, the money, the emotional investment – they get to set the terms. You don’t have to participate.

          2. Why are you saying there is room for nuance and a conversation when it’s an automatic disqualification with no negotiation? I agree that they get to have whatever disqualifications they want, and that the requirements may be appropriate for the needs of their dogs. I understand they may not have time as volunteers for conversations and nuance, and that’s fine too. But they’re not always willing.

        3. In the US, and needing a fenced yard is a common requirement for the rescues I applied to. I finally got my dog, 8 years ago, and the shelter came and did a home visit, walking around the entire fence and my yard. Ironically…the shelter forgot all her vaccination records. They promised to email them while at my house. Then, they just ghosted me! I never got a reply after numerous calls and emails, so I had to re-vaxx her all over again. I was worried about it hurting her, as she was a small puppy, and it was an additional cost.

          8 years later, she is extermely happy and healthy, as are her 18 year old cat siblings. I get how intrusive and judgemental the process feels. That’s why many people go with breeders, which I get, but didn’t want to do.

      3. As a long time rescue volunteer, foster and adopter of six dogs to this point in time, I concur with ALL of the 2:25 post. Two of my six have been dogs who would likely have been returned (or worse) if they had been casually placed; I happened to be in circumstances that enabled them to have their best dog lives. It can take a long time to find the right match for certain dogs and the analogy to online dating is apt.

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