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I finally caved and bought the Air Essentials pants from Spanx that readers have been raving about… $138 for sweatpants seemed pricey, but people really like them, so I gave them a try.
Within seconds of pulling them on, though, I knew they'd be staying with me — the fabric is buttery soft, and I swear they look a lot more lux than sweatpants. Maybe it was just the angle of the mirror, but I also felt like they made me look about 10 lbs lighter. The petite size fit me perfectly (I'm 5'4″). The drape, the fabric, the fit… all chef's kiss.
There are a bunch of pieces in the Air Essentials line, including jumpsuits, skirts, dresses, tops, more pants, and shorts.
You can get the pants at Nordstrom in black, white, and a lovely olive green that is also really tempting; they're available in sizes XS-XL and SP-XLP. Over at Spanx you can get the pants in another 4 colors (gray, navy, “dark storm” blue and a brownish “smoke”) — and over there they also offer tall sizes and plus sizes (and petite plus and tall plus).
The fabric doesn't feel especially lightweight to me, but they are billing them as great for summer on the Spanx homepage, and the description notes that the fabric has “optimal air flow and circulation for all-day comfort…” so I definitely think I'll be working these into my summer outfits.
Spanx does have a number of Air Essentials pieces in their “workwear” collection on the site, including tie-waist wide leg pants and this super cute mini dress. (Know your office before wearing it to work if it's as short on you as it is on the model.)
Sales of note for 10.10.24
- Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
- Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
- Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
- White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles
Anon
It’s summertime and I’m feeling self-conscious about body hair. I really want to be someone who swims without hesitation, but I have a lot of hair that goes way beyond the bikini line (to the point where even short swim shorts are an issue) and I’ve never had any luck with shaving and waxing that area without significant irritation. Laser is out for now due to pregnancy/postpartum. There’s no secret additional option I’m missing, is there?
Senior Attorney
Lands End has swim shorts with 3, 5, and even 9 inch inseams. They also have a swim skort. Might that be an option?
anon
Along the same lines, I really like the Lands Ends “skirted” one piece swimsuit, which covers up the bikini line pretty well on me (I’m short though). If you want more coverage, they have one-piece swim dresses. I have swim shorts as well, but I tend to save them for active occasions like boating or hiking, not just hanging out at the pool or laying out on the beach.
Anon
+1. These shorts are what I used when I had this issue. They covered a lot of area and are very, very well made. Lands End is my go to for any type of swimwear. I have had luck with eliminating a lot of irritation. If you aren’t interested, scroll on. I only use new razors to shave my extended bikini area. I use shave gel/cream and I use the Venus razors with built in shaving strips. I use Tend Skin at least 2-3 times a day for at least 3 days after shaving. I use the stubble cream from Fur and Fur oil for at least the same amount of time and just as frequently. I still get a few red bumps, but I’d say it’s 90% better using these products.
Anonymous
+1. I searched for “swim biker shorts” and the lands end ones came up, among a bunch of other options. They look like such a great option, extra body hair or no.
Anon
I get crazy irritation and ingrown hairs from waxing and razors, but an electric trimmer works well for me.
Anon
Can you post a link? How close does the trimmer get the hair?
anon
I’d second this. I use a regular razor on my legs, but I stick with the electric razor for the bikini line.
Anon
Any brand recs?
Anonymous
+1 Frankly I just buy a beard trimmer. I think I’m currently using a revlon.
Anon
I like board shorts (men’s come in longer lengths, which I like for hiking where there are water crossings and TBH, they’re just comfortable).
anon
I am similar. I will never be someone who swims without hesitation.
But this website figured out for me that a good multiblade razor using the right technique (back and forth…. not just in one direction), using hair conditioner instead of shaving cream, and right after shower moisturize with oil. My skin tolerates it well. I also cannot wax.
Anona
If you’re postpartum, shave and then use one of those IPL devices.
Cerulean
Yup, this is the way. I have a Braun Silk Expert Pro 3 and while it takes a number of sessions to see results, it works so well. No ingrowns, no constant shaving, no stubble. You need to have lighter skin color and relatively dark hair (check the charts online to see).
JHC
Same for me!
Anon
I have very pale skin and almost black hair. As soon as you are able, get laser. I did my bikini area, legs and underarms. It’s a bit painful but well worth the time, pain and cost.
Anonymous
They make swim leggings. Think of like those full body suits they used to wear in the Olympics. Or like the things they wear surfing. But also most people aren’t really paying that much attention anyway.
Anonymous
Have you tried nair?
Anon
Can you do IPL.
Anonymous
I swipe stick deodorant on my bikini line right after shaving. It’s not 100% but it reduces the angriest razor burn. As I get older, I’m less self conscious about my body. Sure, people look at other people, but they don’t spend all day doing it. You could also wear very short, shorts over your suit while swimming.
Anon
Update on the Wegovy side effects – I went to the doctor today to discuss and she said there was nothing she could do about the brain fog and mental health side effects. Nothing to offer, no suggestions. It was honestly a waste of a visit. She said she’s had patients who have had to come off of it for these side effects. I’m disappointed. I’m going to try to ride it out the next few weeks and see if the side effects wane at all. I also bought a bunch of vitamins on the way home (my mom suggested that might help).
Anon
A lot of posters yesterday suggested that you might not be eating enough on Wegovy and I think that might be the case for you or possibly withdrawal from certain foods. I’ve been on Wegovy for ~2 years and the only times I’ve had any side effects at all were if I didn’t eat enough and didn’t recognize the hunger signs quickly enough (and got nauseous). Alternatively, before when I’ve strictly dieted and cut out a lot of bad foods like sugar and corn syrup, I did get headaches, which might also be what’s happening to you. Hope you can figure it out since it’s truly a wonder drug!
anon
This is really good advice.
Anon
I think a good multivitamin makes a lot of sense when losing weight (it’s hard to get the same amount of nutrition from fewer calories!)
Anonymous
I haven’t taken semaglutides, but I have gone through fast weight loss. The brain fog is real. i would really focus on getting enough sleep and getting enough protein while you’re going through the process. The Fairlife protein shakes are the tastiest version of protein shakes I’ve found.
Anon
Echoing—weight loss is a process and it takes a toll on the body and mind. I wouldn’t be so quick to blame the drug.
Anon
Has anyone ever tried protein gummies? I don’t eat meat and I know I’m not getting enough protein. I hate shakes. I came across a protein gummy from a brand called LiquaCel – any experience?
Anon
Here is the link if anyone is curious – https://store.bariatricpal.com/products/protein-gummies-by-liquacel
towelie
That’s interesting and a decent amount of protein for a small gummy. I wouldn’t eat those because they contain artificial sweeteners and corn syrup. But for most people who eat those things anyway I don’t see the harm in these gummies.
I don’t love protein shakes but I add half a frozen banana and can barely tell there’s protein powder in it.
Anon
Those have collagen in them so they technically are made of meat, if you care. Personally as a vegetarian I don’t care about things like gelatin or collagen or certain cheeses but everyone is different.
Anon
What about clear whey isolate? That’s more like a sports drink than a milky shake.
anonny
I bought these for my husband one time. The combination of artificial sweetener and all the collagen tasted TERRIBLE. We threw them away.
Maudie Atkinson
For the vacation planning poster yesterday, looking to travel with her infant: We did this with my older child when she was almost exactly the same age, and it was perfect time for us to travel. At that age, they’re easy to carry, not mobile, and still nap a lot. If you’re going to deal with sleep regression, it’s going to happen at home or on vacation, so you might as well enjoy the vacation. And because I was still on parental leave, we got to enjoy a longer vacation than we otherwise would have.
We spent 12 days in Greece (mainland, Naxos, and Santorini), and it was a truly fantastic place to travel with a baby. I wore her most of the time. Babies are welcome truly everywhere. We were ushered to the front of every line (without asking for it), restaurants would make tables available for us, and everyone from the grizzled old men chain-smoking outside the tavernas to the hotel staff to the young men working on the ferries cooed over and chatted with our baby.
Anon
I like that attitude – sleep issues, blowouts, and tantrums can happen anywhere, so you may as well get some vacations out of it.
Anonymous
My sister is really unwell. She’s late 30s, has some major mental health issues (alcoholic, bipolar) that have been largely controlled to the point she has a mainstream job, her own place, and a dog. She was married about a decade ago but her bipolar blew up shortly after that and she got divorced, dating mostly superficially ever since.
Her health issues are starting to compound- she has massive weight fluctuations due to her meds and middle age, she’s pre-diabetic, she’s also got a possible immune disorder, and probably more I’m not aware of. Her blood pressure skyrocketed and she was hospitalized last week and nearly stroked out She has local friends but moved across the country from immediate family about six years ago. My (divorced) mom consistently flies to my sister to try and manage her/her health.
Two questions:
I have children (8-13) that have known her their entire lives. She was healthier when they were younger (though had a massive psychiatric breakdown when my oldest was a toddler). How, if at all, would you broach that she is unwell? If she had a stroke and died, or had another major psych episode, my kids would be shocked. We are careful for them to only see sister when she is in a position to be visited by kids.
Second, is there anything to do that is helpful? She needs help, but my mom is not the right person to help her. They are like oil and water. My dad tries to keep the peace but is divorced for a reason and has no control over my mom. My dad will visit sister, stay in a hotel, and spend time with her when/how she can. My mom will fly across the country, no notice, and set herself up in my sister’s house and just take over to the point where my sister calls me panicking. I drew hard bright boundaries with my mom long ago and am fairly low contact. My sister can’t/won’t/hasn’t successfully done that with me mom and it’s making things so much worse. Is there anything to be done here?
I have two other siblings who, like me, are fairly low contact with my mom and closer to my dad. One sibling is local to my dad.
Roxie
This sounds hard. It also sounds like it’s not your problem to solve? Is your sister asking for help?
I’m not sure why you would need to prepare
Your kids about the (probably unlikely) situation of a sudden death?
Am I missing something or are you spiraling about a situation over which you have no control (which to be clear is understandable and hard!)
Anon.
I just posted, but am posting again, Roxie. Sadly, most of the very mentally ill men and women who are in the facility where my brother lives also decided that their siblings illness was not their problem. They languish with lonliness and can’t even afford basic necessities. Often they are overmedicated becausae they have no advocate. I assume that if your sister had cancer, you wouldn’t take her to chemo either? You do you, but mental illnes tells the sufferer that they do not need help. While OP cannot “fix” her sister, she certainly can help by accessing resources and being a support.
Cerulean
I think this poster is referring to the difficulties with how her mom and sister interact with each other not being her problem to manage, not her health concerns.
Anon.
Fair. I get my back up real quick at the number of abdoned mentally people we have in this country.
Anonymous
It’s easy to judge until you are the person whose life is ruined by caregiving for a mentally ill relative (who is likely abusive) because society has decided that we will dump all the responsibility on family members because we don’t want to pay for social support systems.
Anon.
Hugs to you. My brother was dx with a schizoaffective disorder when he as about 20 and we are in our late 50s now. It has gotten harder with the added medical issues and I no longer have my mom to assist. Sounds like you have the opposite problem with mom trying to control the outcome. We did that for a long time but I came to grips with the fact that I am not the baby Jesus and I cannot fix his life. But I can be a good older sister who provides emotional, physical and some financial support. You might want to get her to sign HIPPA releases when she is doing well. Please look for your local NAMI support group.
As for the kids, my son grew up knowing the his uncle has a brain that makes him act funny and sometimes scary. The flu can make the body hurt and vomit and mental illness does things to our brain. Let them know that lots of people take medicine for their brain sickness just like there is medicine when you get a flu. We are very open with our son and there were times when my brother was not allowed to be around us. Good luck.
RiskedCredit
With your children I think being upfront is better long run. You don’t need to be super specific but you do need to share how cognitive diseases and disorders have an impact on her health and as family you support her as you can.
With your mother, much as alcoholics have Al-anon I wish those of us affected by narcissistic family had narc-anon. It’s incredibly tough. The therapist who worked with my ex husband said she thought he has borderline personality disorder. It’s an accurate diagnosis and I wonder if the same applies to your mother. It’s in the spectrum and close to bipolar disorder, which potentially helps explain the genetic link. Not that any of this particularly helps but I’ve read up on borderline personality disorder and how to manage them. It’s incredibly tough but helpful to have a couple of strategies.
I say this because I have two children with autism and all 3 have a diagnosis of ADD. Multiple experts have mentioned genetic links and after meeting their father said ‘ok, this is where it’s from’ and I think their ADD is actually trauma not ADD.
I would have your father as her health advocate while he is able to do so and, once he isn’t able to do so, have all responsibility for each you father and sister shift to you and one of your siblings. One sibling shouldn’t be managing both. Talk now about this and have the paperwork done.
Anon
Borderline personality disorder is very different from bipolar (for one, it’s a personality disorder, so it doesn’t have the same psychiatric contraindications). Executive function deficits are very common in ASD even in the absence of trauma. I don’t know what you mean by “in the spectrum” but this whole comment seems confused to me.
Anonymous
Yeah, borderline personality disorder has nothing to do with bipolar disorder, although a person can have both.
Risked Credit
This is a good summary of the link between bipolar and BPD. Its also very common for BDP to be comorbid with ASD.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/i-hate-you-dont-leave-me/201903/the-relationship-between-borderline-and-bipolar-disorder
This helps to explain it: https://awnnetwork.org/autistic-women-misdiagnosis-and-the-importance-of-getting-it-right/
The issues are all linked because they have similar pathways and misdiagnosis is a real issue. The mother having narcissistic tendencies screams BPD and BPD and bi-polar are more linked than most realize according to my daughters mental health team. I have researched it myself and the spectrum professionals talk about isn’t the autism spectrum but the spectrum of cognitive disorders as diagnosed by the DSM-5 criteria. This is an overview of the disorders covered by DSM-5: https://www.psychiatry.org/File%20Library/Psychiatrists/Practice/DSM/APA_DSM-5-Contents.pdf
There is a lot of crossover between the different groups. They say comorbid conditions but the professionals explained to me its best described as a continuum and between generations you can have movement between the disorders. I researched this years ago to educate myself about the research done to support this assertion and there is quite a lot written about it. You have to go to the library to get access to the articles but this touches on it briefly as professionals talk about using the DSM to differentiate between the different diagnosis which often have significant overlap (hence they diagnose comorbid DSM-5 based diagnoses more often than you would expect)
Anon.
Personality disorders are just different ways to explain bad behavior that usually stems from trauma.
Anon
To me it sounds like a high rate of misdiagnosis is THE issue, and some people are spinning stories rather than admit they’ve done a bad job of things? There are also studies on how you can see a series of mental health providers and get a series of even conflicting diagnoses (especially in rushed practices), and also studies on the very poor replicability of a lot of psychological research. But just logically, the same presentation can’t be explained as as both BPD and ASD if the underlying psychological hypotheses conflict (how can a patient be faking distress to manipulate people with high insight into others’ minds because they fear abandonment and also be having an autistic meltdown with low insight into others’ minds and desperate to be left alone at the same time?). USA is also an outlier because of less recognition of C-PTSD (which can be misdiagnosed BPD but which is not a personality disorder).
JHC
I’m sorry you, your sister, and your family are going through this. I, too, have an immediate family member with some profound mental health issues–to the point of involuntary hospitalizations. My children are around the age of your children. We are pretty open and explain that it’s a medical issue and that your brain can be sick in the same way your body can and you can go to the doctor or hospital for help. We haven’t gotten super detailed but I think it’s been helpful to be transparent–it’s helped keep our kids calm about it and it’s helped normalize it.
anon
Your kids are likely too young to understand the full ramifications of how your sister is unwell. Since she was in the hospital last week, do you want to tell the kids to pick out funny cards for her from the store to cheer her up? You can preview that she was sick lately and needs something to make her smile. Years ago, I was your kids age and my uncle had schizophrenia. I have fantastic memories with him because my parents largely did not focus on how he was unwell (we knew something was off), but instead focused on us doing fun things together. As an adult, I was able to understand what was going on with him and I’m glad my parents took the approach they did.
As far as dealing with your sister, have you had a conversation about what she wants when she is relatively leveled out? Does she want you to be involved or not? Give her the opportunity to draw what boundary she wants with you will be empowering to her (compared with your mom steamrollering over her). My guess is that she probably wants touch points with you that aren’t entirely about her physical or mental health (hence kiddos sending funny cards). In some states there are things like mental health directives, but I would touch this subject very carefully.
Anon
Will your mom listen to anyone about how she’s making it worse? Can you frame it as “many people go to therapy to learn tools to help those around them with issues?”
very anon
From growing up with an aunt like your sister, I would suggest that you separate out the mental illness from her other health challenges when discussing her health scares with your kids. While there may be some links between how one thing contributed to another condition, it just wasn’t pertinent to understanding that my aunt had health challenges. It took a while for me to understand that people without paranoid schizophrenia (as opposed to my aunt) have medication-related weight gain and cancer scares and strokes and high blood pressure because the adults in my family always made a point of saying how she wasn’t managing her conditions properly because she was mentally ill. But as an adult, I see tons of coworkers and neighbors who don’t manage those same conditions very well and it makes me sad that my aunt wasn’t given the amount of respect they receive.
Anonymous
I was a somewhat negative respondent who posted yesterday and mentioned the sleep regression, and it is good to see a more positive view. I was probably somewhat traumatized by my early postpartum experiences, which included PPA/PPD, a NICU stay, a baby who loathed car rides and would not take a bottle in a car seat (probably related to reflux), and a mysterious medical emergency on an airplane when my son was 2 months old that resulted in an unplanned 3 day hospital stay in our layover city and never actually making it to our destination, which was also much less fun than Greece. In hindsight my baby was pretty portable at that age though. I hope OP has a fabulous trip!
Anonymous
Sorry nesting fail – meant to be a response to Maudie Atkinson
Anon
My mom is getting evaluated for hospice after a year with a fatal stage 4 cancer that she is no longer getting treated for. She has lost a significant amount of weight. At one point, she showed me the suit in her closet she wanted to be buried in. At the time, it would have been quite loose. Now, it would not fit at all. It was maybe a size 10 or 12 but my mom is maybe a size 2 or 0 now. She doesn’t go out and has been in pajamas or a gown since last month. What do people get buried in? I can’t take her out shopping. Would a dress work vs a suit? I have a black one that would fit her (I’m larger than she is but a dress wouldn’t need a blouse or to have a skirt fit. Funeral will be closed casket. A nice robe of hers? I do t knot know. Dad is just destroyed and wants help.
Anon
In my culture we bury in a shroud, not clothing, but I’m wondering if you can buy a similar suit to the one she showed you, in a small size, and have her buried in that. Alternatively, I imagine the funeral director knows how to tuck and pin a suit that’s too large so it looks appropriate.
anon
+1 to letting the funeral director tuck and pin, especially if the funeral is going to be closed casket.
pink nails
+1 give the suit to the funeral director and ask them to pin and tuck.
I’m so very sorry for you and your family. It’s a really hard thing.
Anon
Yes! This is a common issue. The funeral director will be able to do this.
Alternatively, I actually bought new clothes for my mother after she died (very expected death) for her to be buried in, and it was a really nice experience. I bought something I thought she would like and that I thought she’d look good in because she didn’t have any nice clothing by the time she was gone. I just went to a department store and took my time.
Anon.
This! Buy a new suit that you know she will love.
Senior Attorney
I think this sounds like the best option if you are up to it.
Pep
It’s going to be closed casket, so I’d just honor her wishes and bury her in the suit she chose. There may be reasons she chose that specific suit, a happy memory perhaps. The funeral home will pin and tuck as appropriate.
Anonymous
Recommendations for sturdy leather work gloves? I have a few giant pricker bushes in my yard that I want to evict from life. My normal gardening gloves aren’t cutting it; it’s been a few days since my last battle with the bush and I’m still picking thorns out of my hands. Before anyone suggests it, I can’t kill it with fire (tempting) or chemicals because it is intertwined with mature trees, saplings, and other native plants that I don’t want to kill/cause to fall on my house. I’ve been digging it up by the roots but I need to be able to pull it down out of the trees. Thanks, all!
Anon
If you want more protection, get rose gardening gloves or leather gauntlet gloves. FWIW, if you snip things like that near the roots and paint the stem with roundup, that will kill the plants without having to do all that digging. The roundup is used very sparingly.
Anon
Beekeeping gauntlets might be a good option if you are deep in prickers. They come far up your forearm and are thick leather.
Anonymous
I have some goatskin worker’s gloves I got at a store for professional farmers and workers. Mine are meant as protective gear for cold conditions. They are soft enough to do fiddly stuff, and very sturdy. I think oxhide is even more sturdy. I’m in Europe, so no non-local brand recommendations, sorry.
There are arm protectors meant for processing fish, meat or milking that could work for your forearms, if you need something with more coverage.
anon
How much of a hurry are you in? I’m taking the approach of cutting the base of some troublesome vines, letting them die off and dry out, and then pulling them down when they have been weakened.
Anon
reposting from the morning. i need a new show. things i’ve watched and liked: all the FBIs, Rookie, Tracker, Grays Anatomy, ER, Law & Order (and spin offs), 911 (and spin offs), Designated Survivor, Quantico, Station 19, Alert. things I used to watch/can’t get into: NCIS, CSI, Suits, White Collar. I tend to like law/medical shows. anyone have any suggestions? someone suggested New Amsterdam, but I’ve watched that as well.
Anon
Bones. Brokenwood. Criminal Minds. The Night Agent.
Roxie
The diplomat on Netflix?
Sunflower
Also The Diplomat on Prime Video. A completely different program than The Diplomat on Netflix. The one on Prime is a BBC drama about British diplomats stationed in Barcelona.
Anon
Ooh
NYCer
The Americans.
Senior Attorney
Loved that show!
No Face
I’ve watched the Americans twice all the way through. Love that show.
Anonymous
The finale of the Americans was the single best thing I have ever seen on TV or anywhere really. Totally worth it to watch this series.
Anon.
absolutely! I am suprised it never got a cult following like some other shows. I want to know what happens with Paige now!
Anon
Bones. Jack Ryan. I can’t stand it but I know people who like Lioness on Paramount +
Anon
Something I read the other day recommended something Indian (southeast Asian), rom series, and I am trying unsuccessfully to recall the name. Anyone know?
A
Never have I ever?
Anon
The Good Wife. I think there is a spin off as well. There is also a spin off of Suits that is good.
Senior Attorney
The spinoff is The Good Fight and I loved it.
shows
It’s not quite in the same wheelhouse, but I’ve been enjoying “Extraordinary Attorney Woo” on Netflix. It’s not as action-packed as the other shows on your list (which I also watch), but it’s got some interesting legal cases.
Did you watch “Scandal” in its heyday? I liked that show as well.
I also like “The Good Doctor” and “The Resident” for medical shows that are adjacent to Grey’s.
“For the People” on ABC was also interesting, as it showed both the prosecution and defense perspectives.
Anon
Definitely try Code Black (I think it’s on Prime)
Anon
Justified, Night Agent and the Diplomat on Nefflix, Bosch on Amazon Prime.
Anon
These are good, and also Goliath on Prime
Anonymous
And Lincoln Lawyer. Love Bosch
Anon
The best shows I’ve watched in 5 years have been
Patriot on Amazon Prime, a tiny, under appreciated gem
Succession (obsessed)
The Diplomat
Pep
The West Wing. Series available on HBO Max. It’s not new, but so good.
Anon
Have you already watched the Chicago shows: Chicago PD, Chicago Fire, Chicago Med?
RSV vaccine
Committing a faux pas and posting a mom question :P Feel free to scroll by, but since it’s late in the day this site gets more eyeballs and I need to make a decision asap as I’m 35w6d.
Would you/have you gotten the RSV vaccine while pregnant, even if due with a summer baby? Theoretically baby could get her own vaccine in the fall, but I’m worried the season could start earlier than expected or that supplies could be limited since it’s still a relatively new vaccine. But I’m also worried that another vaccine for baby would be contraindicated if I get the shot, and not even my pediatrician can give me a firm answer on that (again, because it’s so new). My shot protection would not last through the winter.
Anon
I got it this spring for baby born a few days ago. I wasn’t eligible until after the end of the winter recommendation period but my doctor was supportive. We’re a daycare family and very pro-vaccines so for me it felt like very low risk for potentially some benefit. It was easy for me (same day appointment at a CVS) and no side effects.
Anonymous
Absolutely get the vaccine if you can, and then get it for the baby in the fall. Your baby will not be harmed by getting an extra dose. (Source: I work in vaccine development)
RiskedCredit
Get every vaccine including flu. I had RSV with my third and delivered with a c section. Before delivery I couldn’t cough because of being pregnant (lungs are compressed so when you cough nothing clears easily) and after I couldn’t breathe because of the c section! It wasn’t great.
OP
Yikes! Yes, I’ve gotten everything else. I think I’m wishy-washy on this one because the official guidance is delivering Sept-Jan, though my midwives said the CDC didn’t specifically say *not* to get it otherwise so they still recommend
Anon
Yes, get the vaccine now. No, your baby’s shot will not be contraindicated in the fall. How weird that your pediatrician can’t answer that question.
OP
Yah, it was…though in fairness I called and think I caught him off-guard. He looked it up while we were on the phone together and said “it seems it would be fine” for her to get one, but couldn’t give me the unequivocal YES I seem to need.
Anon
Ah, got it. I’m also someone who needs a robust YES from medical staff, so I hear you.
Anon
Just want to add that my daughter tested positive for RSV when she went into labor, and although she was already recovering there were some inconveniences, including not being able to see her newborn when he was taken to the NICU for a short time. Definitely recommend the vaccine if available.
Anon
Meant to add that the NICU wasn’t necessitated by the RSV, but because she was positive, she wasn’t allowed in the unit.
OP
Thanks everyone! I went and got it this afternoon. My prescription had been sitting there over a week while I dithered
Anon
I definitely would.
Nesprin
Good god yes. RSV kills so many kids- it’s a goddamn miracle that there’s now an effective vaccine.
Seventh Sister
Heck yes. I’m sort of the “oooooh, you have a vaccine? can I take it?” type as I think they are the greatest medical miracle of the 20th/21st century. RSV is a nasty disease and the only thing I disliked more than being pregnant was being sick and pregnant. I doubt that RSV vaccination would be contraindicated for the baby because you’d gotten your own vaccination.
Anon
For everyone familiar with these things – I know you’re supposed to finish all your antibiotics. How long would you realistically take one that is making you nauseated? I am 3 days into a 7 day course, my sinus infection feels better, and I’m ready to throw in the towel. I am nauseated all day, basically. It’s a known side effect of this one.
pink nails
ugh that’s the worst feeling to be nauseated all day. I’d probably back off for a day and if I felt like I started getting the sinus infection again, I’d start taking it again. Of course it’s not what you’re supposed to do but it’s real life.
Of course you could also call your doctor and tell them that the medicine is making you miserable and see if there’s something else you could do. But if I was feeling better, I wouldn’t bother.
Anon
+1
Anon
You really do need to finish the entire 7 days. Have you asked your doctor about switching to other antibiotics or maybe getting antinausea meds?
anon
+1
Just call your doctor. Either they will switch the antibiotic or give you a med for the nausea.
Be sure to check to see if there is a drug interaction with other meds you are taking that could be making this worse, and that you are taking it exactly as instructed. Doctor’s never give you enough details/warnings/recs.
By stopping the antibiotic after only 3 days you are just encouraging resistant bacteria to grow in your body, and for another infection of a worse bacteria to happen in the future for you. Bad for you, and bad for the world….
Anonymous
THIS. Please finish them. If you can’t tolerate them, your doctor should be able to switch you to something else that you tolerate better.
Anon
Is it doxycycline? That’s the only one I ever stopped taking early, for the same reason, but I took 9 days out of 10 before finally giving up, mostly because I was traveling for work and really couldn’t take it anymore with the travel on top of nonstop nausea. Anyway, I know there’s actually been some pushback to idea that you have to take a long course of antibiotics and many doctors are trying to give shorter courses to reduce side effects (I’m a microbiologist, but not a doctor). However, three days feels too early to me. I’d give it at least a few more days and/or contact your doctor about an alternative drug or to see what else they suggest. And definitely take it with food, if you’re not doing that already.
Anon
Another tip if it the OP is taking doxycycline, were you advised to take with milk and/or food? I took this for acne years ago and did get that advice from my doctor and it made a huge difference – taking it on an empty stomach even a couple minutes before eating would leave me throwing up, I really had to get something else down first.
Anonymous
No, no, no – don’t take it with milk without checking your particular antibiotic. Some of them do not work if you take them within a few hours of eating dairy.
Anon
I’m allergic to the tetracyclines so it’s a fluoroquinolone. I had to copy and paste that word!
Anon
Some references on whether you need to take the whole dose and the general lack of real evidence for this:
https://microbialmenagerie.com/antibiotic-course-treatment-time/
https://blogs.jwatch.org/hiv-id-observations/index.php/how-to-figure-out-the-length-of-antibiotic-therapy/2010/10/22/
(Sort of satire, but sort of not)
Anon
Thanks! A multiple of 5 or 7 and I’m sentenced to 7. I may make it to 5…
Anonymous
The nausea is probably from the antibiotic wrecking havoc on your stomach bacteria. I would 1) start eating yogurt and taking a probiotic and 2) call your doctor and explain. I once had massive diarrhea from an antibiotic and my MD shortened by course from 10 days to 7 (as I remember, it was a few years ago).
Anon
You need to finish them!! Call your doctor.
Anon
I would finish the whole thing.
Anon
Talk to your pharmacist about managing the side effect.
Anon
Take the full course and treat it like morning sickness. Never let your stomach get empty, eat ginger, and ask if your doctor can prescribe an antiemetic.
Worried
I’ve only once stopped taking an antibiotic because it made me feel not only nauseated, but triggered migraine headaches, and severe vomiting. My husband had to pick me up from work as I couldn’t drive …that’s how bad it was. It honestly felt like I was being poisoned. I checked some online forums at the time, and it appears many others stopped taking this one as well. I can’t remember what it was, but my doctor prescribed another older version of the antibiotic I wanted in the first place. I ended up being so sick, I forgot to take the new one he prescribed. This was the only time, I stopped mid antibiotic. I would not want to do this again, and I reccomend switching — also, it helped me to ask for an older version of an antibiotic that worked before.
Movie recs? A comedy, pref. British
Tonight I’d like to tuck into a lighthearted comedy, preferably British. Something like the Cornetto Trilogy would be delightful. I’ve seen The Bank of Dave.
I can recommend Billy & Molly, An Otter Love Story (hulu). It’s a documentary about a Scottish man who adopts an otter.
Jules
Maybe Brian and Charles? Isolated man in a small village in England builds a robot for a companion; it’s charming.
anonshmanon
I remember that, so charming!
Anon
Not a recent one, but The Full Monty is a favorite of mine.
Anonymous
OP here; Brian and Charles look perfect; thank you!
Anonymous Canadian
The Detectorists is FANTASTIC – a series but the episodes are short. HIGHLY Recommend.
Anon
Does anyone have a non-stick skillet that works with an induction cooktop and is durable? We are generally pretty careful with our pans — wash by hand and only use silicone or wood utensils — but even still we can only get about a year of near daily use before the surface is too rough to use for scrambled eggs. At that point, we get a new skillet for eggs and downgrade the in-use skillet for things like making grilled cheese. Wondering if this is the best we can expect.
Anon
We have nonstick All-clad, which we found at Marshall’s. Before that we had Calphalon that lasted at least 8 years or so,
though it started to slow some slight wear a couple years before that. And we have induction and they work
Anonymous
I use stainless steel, even with eggs. I get them to nonstick by heating the pan hot enough, then adding some olive oil. Then I add eggs.
You can do this with scrambled eggs or eggs over easy or whatever. It takes some practice, but now I’ll never buy another nonstick pan again.
Anon
I do similar but with cast iron. Love how easy and low key it is once you get used to cooking without the coatings.
Anon
+1. The key is enough heat before you add the food. Nonstick is incredibly toxic and as you’ve seen, it breaks down rapidly (which further releases PFAS into your food). You won’t regret making the switch. I haven’t owned nonstick in 10 years and I eat eggs almost daily.
OP
OP here – Is PFAS-free coatings equally toxic? Is PFAS-free a marketing gimmick? Honestly, I’ve heard that non-stick coatings are bad but haven’t been dissuaded in the past but maybe I should be…
Anon
Some of the other brands marketed as “safe nonstick” are questionable AFAIK. PFAS are definitely toxic – no question there. Even the U.S. government is doing something about it. Really, going with stainless or cast iron is the safe bet.
anon
PFAS-free for non-stick coatings is a marketing gimmick in the same way that formaldehyde-free Brazilian hair treatments just substitute in a similar compound that happens to not be formaldehyde. It’s not an iron clad rule, but similarly shaped chemical compounds that have similar benefits as a material probably carry similar risks.
Anon
I have an OXO nonstick skillet now that’s holding up really well. I do treat nonstick skillets as (eventually) disposable & only have one for eggs.
Do not use high heat no matter how much of a hurry you’re in. Hand wash with a soft sponge, not a scrubber. If you stack pans to store them, put a towel or cloth napkin in the nonstick pan before nesting another pan in it.
Anonymous
We like our ceramic coated non stick pan. It’s Caraway. Can it be used on an induction stove? The non stick coating that you have peeling off is probably putting particles of something into your food.
Anon
+1. Even if you do stick with nonstick pans knowing their inherent toxicity, you should definitely throw them away the second there are scratches. I think it even says that on the box.
anonshmanon
Since we get upscale candle recs here pretty frequently and I balk at some of the price tags, I found this video on the topic pretty interesting https://youtu.be/nr54uhcfZkQ?feature=shared
JM
Interesting – thank you!
Anon
I’m curious why Robertet wasn’t included in the raid. More to learn.
I am a fraghead and an amateur perfumer. I went to perfume school. Making your own perfume is incredibly expensive so I agree with that part of the video.
My tips on candles:
Cheap candles are often a hoax – the wax is not scented much at all, and what you smell in the store is the fragrance oil-soaked top of the wick. It’s a cheap trick.
Expensive candles can be worth it if you burn them right. Trim the wick to 1/4” before every burn. A sooty vessel is often due to too long of a wick.
Burn the candle until there is liquid wax across the top of the entire candle. That’s it. Blow it out. The melted wax will continue to scent your space. Burning it for longer is wasting your money.
The first burn is most important. It can take around an hour to get the top completely melted on a good candle. But after that, subsequent burns will go faster – 15-30 minutes.
They sell candle toppers that help the heat from the wick reflect across the entire candle, melting the areas around the sides more efficiently so that you don’t end up with tunneling. I have candle toppers I use with all of my candles. I got mine on eBay.
If you just like the ambience of candle light, buy cheap unscented candles to burn alongside your scented candles, and blow out the scented candle when it’s liquid across the top.
By burning my expensive candles correctly, I don’t think they’re that expensive anymore, because they last a really long time now.
Anon
This is really helpful; thank you!
Anon
I’ve benefited from extremely niche knowledge on here before, so I’m glad to be able to share some of mine now!
Anon
Super interesting and helpful – thank you!
Anon
Really helpful, thanks so much for taking the time to post
anonshmanon
I learned so much!
Anonamoose
Rising 2L going into a bunch of Zoom callbacks with Big Law firms. What are everyone’s thoughts of blurred zoom backgrounds? My office is clean and simple—behind me (but on the other side of the room) is a nice looking book case and some framed non-offensive botanical paintings. It’s clean and neat though by no means a fancy office. I’m still wondering if it’s better to blur my background so there are absolutely no distractions. I could also move my desk to be against a white wall, but that’d require moving a lot of heavy furniture so would prefer to not do that unless I really have to. What do you think? Thanks!
Anon
I think you are overthinking this. All of the options you describe are just fine, and I conduct Zoom interviews regularly. Good luck!
Anon
Agree but I personally don’t like using the blurred background because I’m distracted by the weird cutout effect around me. 99% of the time I use my real background and just keep it tidy specifically for zooms.
Anonamoose
OK, thanks! Yeah I know I’m probably overthinking this, I just absolutely love one firm in particular so I want to think of every possible detail to get right.
AIMS
It sounds like you’re fine either way. I agree that blurring can sometimes be a little distracting if you’re the kind of person who moves aroundor hand gestures when talking. It’s a good option when you need it but it doesn’t sound like you do. The only background that I have ever seen to invite comment is where the majority of the background was a big bed. A very senior male person who was on the zoom with me said that he found it very distracting and inappropriate (person 3ith bed was a very junior young woman). I don’t think I would ever ding someone for having a bed visible and I could not help but say “why” when he said it but I take the point that others might and would never have my own bed in the background of a professional call. Good luck!
Anon
I think blurred is way more distracting and what you describe is absolutely fine.
Anon.
Blurring is awful.
Anon
This is so late but chiming in to help – I am a recruiting manager at a BigLaw firm! Do not worry about a blurred or regular background UNLESS you have either a mess behind you (I’m talking like piles of laundry that should be put away, etc) or something inappropriate in terms of art behind you (weed posters). I have seen both of those things in interviews and that’s the only time we ever discussed a background after an interview. Just make sure you have a quiet space without interruptions. Everyone on the committee understands you’re either living at home, or in an apartment, or subleasing – it’s the name of the game at this stage in life. You’ve got this – good luck!!
DC Anon
I’m a big law attorney that sometimes interviews candidates and I would not have any problem with either a blurred background or the set-up you described. I’d vote not to blur because it sounds like you have a great office/background set-up going on, and then you don’t have to worry about your silhouette looking wonky with the blurring effect.
Good luck with your interviews!
Anon
Low stakes poll: for tinted moisturizer that works under make up, for pale Caucasian skin, and over 50 skin: I am deliberating between DRMTLGY, La Roche Posey and Elta MD. For the latter two, reviews are mixed on how well the color matches pale skin. They all seem to be good under makeup. I am slightly leaning to DRMTLGY as the middle ground.
Anon
*meant tinted SPF not moisturizer
Also anon
EltaMD may be a bit dark/orange if you’re quite pale. It matches my skin tone best mid-summer when I’ve gotten a tan.
JM
Supergoop Mineral Matte Screen. Their Glowscreen comes in a paler shade also and would be better for dry skin.
Anon
Elta is no longer cruelty-free, if that’s a consideration.
Anon
I didn’t like the DRMTLGY one – the bottle/pump broke very very shortly after I purchased it, like a week or two later. The product was meh. Couldn’t really tell I was wearing it, and i mean that in a negative way? Like it didn’t seem to offer any sort of benefit vs. just SPF: no blurring of irregularities or nice smooth coloring normalization like I’m used to from other products.