Tuesday’s Workwear Report: The Take a Bow Cardigan

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1. I’m not anti-now, but this just looks like you stapled in a bow from your Christmas package to your sweater to make it seem more festive.

   Merry Christmas to all who celebrate!

   1. Yeah…it’s not working for me. I think maybe with a cute pleated midi skirt and some great boots it would look more modern. Something about the knit and the tight jeans is giving 2014 but with about bow. And I love bows.

   2. This sweater is so odd, the satin will not wash well.

2. For seven years we’ve done holiday cards. Every year I hire a photographer to come to the house, she takes a bunch of pictures and I do some combination of a pic of the kids on the front and the whole family on the back. I’m a little bored with the formula so I was wondering if anyone has received any cards they like as an alternative? Im sure we could do beach pictures but they don’t feel “holiday” to me and I sort of dislike the collages where everyone has their own picture. Thoughts?

   1. How about a photo shoot at a location? A Christmas tree farm or local historic site. Your favorite park or cobblestone street in the area? Ask the photographer for some suggestions. I bet they have lots of options.

   2. Have never used a pro. Usually use a tripod on vacation (they fold up to the size of a travel umbrella) to get a shot on our balcony, a pretty view on the way to dinner, everyone dressed in their ski gear, or one year actually in the water at the beach (out of range for the remote so we just left the video running and took a screenshot!). I like seeing snaps from people’s year!

      1. This is what we do too, because I like receiving little windows into people’s years- informal selfies from wherever we traveled, a pic of the kid’s first day of school, the pets.

   3. After having very good intentions of block printing this year’s card, I drew it with markers. It has character.

   4. Our family just uses whatever family shot from the year that we like on the front, and assorted small pix on the back. Shots are often from vacations, as that seems to be one of the easier times to get everyone in one place for a picture. We never hire a pro.

      I always feel like the posed pictures are a bit odd. Like… is this how you live in your house? All posed and matching and pressed? What I really want to know and see is how are YOU?!? What’s up?!?!

      1. Op here. We’re usually dressed cute but not pressed. It’s become our signature that we’re not all looking at the camera. For example- the back will be us all kind of snuggled on the couch while my son hugs my daughter, my husband and I look down at them and my daughter is the only one looking at the camera. It’s usually what the photographer thinks is an outtake that we go with. It’s cute but I guess formulaic at this point.

         We don’t tend to go on fancy vacations like Hawaii and Europe so I guess I don’t want anyone to think that we’re trying to impress them with our humble trips. Like hey, I know it’s not the same as your Disney trip but here’s a cute photo of us a few towns over? i feel like people might not be too kind about that.

         My husband pushes every year for just kids in the card but I too like to see the whole family.

         1. I don’t think we would impress anyone with our family camping road trip photos on our Christmas cards either, but this is when we most likely are going to get a candid photo of all of us, and when we look passably happy together.
            If people are going to be unkind about any part of your card, you don’t owe them a Christmas card!
            Snuggles on a couch sounds adorable, fwiw.
            I guess if you are looking to change it up, what kind of cibe are you going for?

            1. I use family camping trip candids for our cards because we are having fun and look like it. Staged portraits are so boring to me; I don’t like being in them or looking at them, much less sending them to others.

         2. omg do not worry about whether your photo is from a fancy trip. A sampling of the cards I got this year — family sitting on rocks next to a waterfall from doing a local hike, family at a longtime local amusement park thing that closed this year, family at the Xmas tree farm, kids at the beach playing fetch with new puppy, and more.

         3. Gosh why are you sending cards to people who you worry are going to be judgy about your vacation?! Maybe time to trim the litter take a year off

            1. I guess the cards I get are mostly professional pics rather than vacation pics from a phone. When someone sends a vacation photo, maybe it’s me who reads that as a means to convey they took a very expensive vacation rather than “oh just wanted to give you a glimpse of my year.” For example I am spotting on amongst my collection people in Venice, montauk and Greece. I’m also noticing no one sends pics from our local beaches which I personally think are really pretty. I don’t personally love pictures from a phone because it usually looks less crisp than the professional photos and I do care about the actual card being pretty. I struggle with social media and stuff because it feels like bragging to talk about our accomplishments and fancy vacations so it might just be a “me” problem.

            2. You’re judging people way too much.

            3. OP, as someone who used a photo from a trip like that this year, I promise you it was not to say “please admire my discretionary income” – it was a highlight of the year and we looked relaxed and happy. What better time to commemorate on a card? I think you should give some thought as to your assumptions…

            4. I think amateur pics from exotic vacation locales are fine, although I travel a lot myself so few trips make me really jealous. I do find professional photos from vacations to be a bit over the top, maybe because of the double spending ($$$$ for the vacation + $$$$ for the professional photo). But it might have something to do with the fact that I know a very annoying person whose Christmas card is always a professional photo of her family in front of the Eiffel Tower or similar landmarks.

            5. How is a professional photoshoot more “a glimpse of the year” than a casual vacation photo?

         4. FWIW, I prefer non-fancy vacation pictures to the type of photos you described. I am personally not a fan of the professional pictures where people are not looking at the camera. They still seem overly posed to me, even if they are outtakes. Plus I like seeing faces!

            1. Ouch. That hurts but I guess I asked for feedback. I really just want us all to look nice and not too stiff. I’m learning that some people are apparently disliking what I think looks nice and like something I’m personally not into. Oh well.

            2. Agreed, I much prefer the casual vacation photos to any professional photo shoot.

            3. OP, I love the kind of professional pics you’re describing. I hate iPhone pics, they’re never lit well and people are generally terrible photographers. For your day to day, post on instagram. For your card, use a pro.

   5. I’m just happy to have a card from your family – if it’s perfect, if it’s wacky – it’s all great! My main complaint is when it’s just photos of the kids and not a picture of my adult friends somewhere!

      1. I always try to include a picture of just my husband and me in the collage in the back of our cards- mostly because I always forget to take pictures of just the two of is together, so I like having a reason to remember. I’ve put our 12 year old in charge of getting a picture of us at some point in the year.

      2. +1 I get plenty of cards with pictures of children I’ve never met and I want to see my friends, too!

   6. I don’t care what the card is. If you all look great and want to send a photo, I really love to see it, especially when you have kids who I haven’t seen in a while. If you just want to send a card that says “Peace on Earth” and do a physical signature, that’s great, too. A personal.message is even better, of course.

   7. I am in my second year of not doing cards because life (big, big stuff) got in the way so I really appreciate those who still send them to me. It really makes my day!

      Please include your furry family members too if you have them. I haven’t always done that in the past but now I realize how much I love seeing everyone’s kids (some are all grown up now!) and their dogs and cats. :)

      I do prefer seeing snapshots vs formal photo shoot type photos.

   8. My favorite, in order (do with this what you will):

      – Any sort of personalized card
      – Cards with informal snapshots (action pics are great!) of what you were up to + pets
      – Cards with posed pics
      -any card with a short handwritten note
      – any card with a hand signature
      – any card at all, anything. Anything! Late, in the new year, in June. I don’t care, I love getting personal mail period.

      I am single no kids, so mine is snapshots of me doing my hobbies and the animals.

   9. We always do a few of my favorite casual snapshots from throughout the year, I never have my ish together enough for family portraits. I love everyone’s holiday cards, no matter the style, but I look forward every year to a card from an old friend whom I haven’t seen in more than a decade…he is very Extra and his family rents costumes, I assume, and does some crazy theme. one year it was Addams Family, one year it was Series of Unfortunate Events, one year National Lampoon, you get the idea.

      npr . c0m had an awesome story the other day about “single girl Christmas cards” and it had many examples, all of which I adored and would have been thrilled to get.

3. If you are not religious but your parents are and you’re doing Christmas together, do you attend church?

   1. I would, but I don’t have bad feelings toward the church and I really like the Christmas hymns. I completely understand why others choose to skip.

   2. I attend Christmas Eve services with my parents every year as well as Easter morning services. I’m happy to do it.

   3. It would depend on the church for me. I’d happily go to something like a Unitarian church or an LGBT-affirming Methodist or Lutheran church, but Catholic or any anti-LGBT congregation would be a hard pass for me (I’m straight but not interested in supporting those values).

   4. Yes, absolutely.

   5. No, of course not. But, I don’t believe in anything supernatural. I’m not simply a non practicing member of their/my childhood religion.

      1. I guess I don’t understand the difference, if you feel like elaborating. If not no worries

         1. Some people say “not religious” to mean they vaguely believe in a higher power, often related to what they were taught as children. I am a polite, semi-closeted but staunch atheist.

   6. Not since I was about 10. I will go to a place of worship for a wedding or a funeral but I can’t think of any other occasion.

      1. I understand why some people would feel differently, but personally, I don’t see attending a Christmas / Easter service as much different than going to another social event with my parents while I’m in town. Or any secular ceremony that is meaningful to them. You don’t have to pay attention or sing along, you don’t have to donate money, but to me, you show up for your family and politely attend activities organized by your host unless they’re actively causing harm. It is no skin off my back to put on a nice outfit and sit and stand at the same time as everyone else for an hour on Christmas Eve. I wouldn’t avoid ceremonies for other religions on the grounds that I don’t subscribe to all of their beliefs, if someone invited me as their guest, so it would be weird for me to take a stand on Christianity. (That said, I was raised in a United Methodist congregation that is now LGBTQ-affirming. I know many people who were raised Catholic or in a more “strict” tradition who have very different concepts of organized religion, and a lot more mental reservations about it.)

         1. To be honest I am pretty sure this is how most Jewish Americans see attending religious services with family. To me this is an odd question. Just go with your parents for a couple of course so they can show you off to their church friends!

            I respect your differences of opinions and obviously I won’t make you attend religious services. I just think it could be a small thing that gets made into a big thing. It might BE the big thing, not sure. S

   7. My family is very religious (we have more than one pastor in the bunch). I am a quiet atheist and my household does not have anyone who practices actively, just one individual with an academic interest in religion. We do all go to Easter services when with the larger family, but we typically sit out Christmas. Maybe a candlelight Christmas Eve service if a child is in the cantata, but otherwise we let the pastors enjoy the time off.

      I’m comfortable saying I will stay behind on Easter to watch the oven or take care of whatever setup is needed.

   8. I did for the 10-ish years between mandatory church attendance as a teen and joining a church in my late 20s. While I had some unpleasant experiences as a kid (bullying, etc.) it was pretty minor and I always, always liked the music well enough to go over the holidays. That said, I didn’t feel comfortable joining a church until I found one that was explicitly LGBTQIA-affirming.

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