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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
This dress keeps popping up on my Instagram feed, so I finally bit the bullet and checked it out in my local Target brick-and-mortar store.
If you’re in the market for a casual Friday outfit under $50, I would highly recommend taking a peek. It feels breezy and fun, but still put-together.
I would note that 1) the fabric is a little bit on the sheer side, so if you’re not willing to wear a slip, you might want to opt for the navy version, and 2) it runs a little big, so size down.
The blue-striped version made my preppy heart sing, but it also comes in a green stripe, plus navy, pink, and white solids.
The dress is $35 at Target and comes in sizes XS-4X.
Sales of note for 8.30.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
- Bergdorf Goodman – Final Days Designer Sale, up to 75% off; extra 20% off sale
- Boden – 20% off
- Brooks Brothers – Extra 25% off clearance
- Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
- Lo & Sons – Summer sale, up to 50% off (ends 9/2)
- Madewell – Extra 40% off sale; extra 50% off select denim; 25% off fall essentials
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Rothy's – End of season sale, up to 50% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear in the big sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
- White House Black Market – Up to 70% off sale
Anonymous
Has anyone tried Aday clothing? How’s quality & fit?
Anon88
I have a shirt from there from several years ago that I absolutely loved and wore all the time, but the quality was really disappointing for the price point. It’s a white shirt and got very dingy and pilled quickly. I’ve actually held onto it with the hopes of either trying to save it or, because it’s actually a pretty simple shape, begging my seamstress mom to use it as a pattern to make me another.
Anon88
This was the twist and chill wrap top. It definitely didn’t look like a $140 shirt, but I wore it to death the summer I got it.
Housecounsel
I tried a blouse and a pair of pants. The fabric is kind of techy-y. I didn’t love the blouse – kind of stiff and shapeless – but the Under Wraps pants are pretty gorgeous. I’d say the clothing runs a little large.
Aday
I have a few pieces that are great for vacation – track pants, the original shirt (don’t love the collar but but it’s sun protective and has been a great over shirt and swim cover up including for a work related sailing trip) and the related shirt dress (surprise winner and easy to dress up/down – would recommend over the shirt).
the technical fabric is similar to Athleta
Anon
Random thought: I never thought much either way of Heart growing up. My vibe was more sorority and Junior League and I guessed that Heart fans smoked (clutching my pearls as I type). I went to see them recently and OMG I have so much respect. They are in their 70s now and I’d have been amazed if they had been half that. It couldn’t have been easy to be in their business, especially as women, back then and I’m sure it’s not easy now. But after decades in a job typically done by men, I have to say that I have come around and the Wilson sisters have my awe and resoect.
Anon
I love Heart. It’s my pump up music when I need a girl power moment. Barracuda can’t be beat.
Anon
Guitar intro to Crazy on You
Anon
+1 that is an awesome guitar intro!
Senior Attorney
LOVE Heart! My husband’s former law partner represented somebody connected to them and I get all fan-girly just thinking about it!!
Anon
PSA: Lands End now has high-cut leg opening swim bottoms. Fixing my one problem with their excellent swim wear. My more dowdy bottoms are ancient but still look new — replacing anyway with these new ones. I need all the leg I can get. And these will last for at least a decade.
anon
Laid off anon here. I’m in my third week of unemployment and had a second interview with the hiring manager of a software company yesterday. They want me to come in on Monday to meet the CEO and the rest of the team to discuss salary and a start date. However I have some doubts about working there.
For some background, I’m looking for business/system analyst roles where I have 20+ years of experience.
1. There is no 401K, but it’s “in the works.”
-I’ll be 47 in a couple of months. Planning for retirement is important to me at this age.
2. There are 11 PTO days and 6 sick days. I’m assuming major holidays are off.
-Before my previous company switched to unlimited PTO, I had close to 6 weeks vacation.
3. The job is “fully onsite”. It seems like there are options to WFH, but maybe on as needed basis.
-I’ve been fully remote since my office building shut down in 2020. Even before then, I was able to WFH whenever I wanted. My boss and co-workers were all different states anyway.
-The commute would only be around 25 minutes and isn’t far from where my old office was.
4. It’s a small 300-person company. The first interviewer described it as a start-up where you’ll be wearing many different hats. The hiring manager I talked to yesterday said not like a “regular 9-5” or “big Fortune 500 company.”
-My previous company was close to 20K employees. I’m used to working hard and doing things outside my specific role, but I also value work life balance. Frankly, I don’t mind being a cog in the corporate machine. This combined with the fact that there is limited WFH is a concern.
I know I’m extremely privileged to have had a WFH home job and I would even welcome a hybrid role now. With working remotely, I’ve finally been able to incorporate healthy habits like working out regularly and being home to start dinner at a normal hour. Last year, I started fostering kittens and I like being able to check on them during the day. I have some sweet 4-week old babies right now.
I also have activities twice a week after work that I really value. I’ve been volunteering at a cat shelter for several years. The recruiter called me around 6 PM yesterday while I was in the middle of cleaning litter boxes so I missed the call. I would hate to be working so late every evening where I would have to give that up, especially when they are already short on volunteers.
I literally lost sleep over this last night. I truly do not want this job, but I feel pressured to take it since I’ve been laid off. Also, I keep hearing how bad the job market is and and how people send out hundreds of applications with no responses. I do get a lump sum severance of 30 weeks and that just got deposited yesterday.
My husband works, but I was the higher earner. He saw how miserable I was this morning and supports me in whatever I decide.
I could take the job and keep looking for other roles, but I don’t know if it would look bad leaving quickly if something else comes up.
Anon88
You’ve got 30 weeks severance, don’t take a job you “truly do not want”!! 11 days PTO and no 401k are complete deal breakers to me. I wouldn’t feel bad at all turning it down.
No Face
I would never consider a job without a 401k or equivalent personally.
Anon
This. The lack of 401K is absolutely unacceptable.
anon
Lack of 401k at a 30 person company, understandable. Lack of 401k with 300 employees (unless there is some sort of alternative) is a huge red flag.
Anon
TBH, it isn’t often the case, especially when most places have no match. It really only helps if you can use the income exclusion to get you into a lower tax bracket. If not, it’s probably better to just have on your own b/c it’s more flexible and you start with a higher basis. I’ve had this come up where one place I worked had a 401k but you weren’t eligible until after you’d been there a full year. They didn’t even match, so not sure why they played hardball. I just put $ into a Vanguard index fund.
pink nails
+1 I work at a sub 25 employee company (LOL at 300 employees being small; it’s all perspective) and we have a 401k program.
Anon
I work at a 5 person company, and we have a 401K. 11 days of PTO sounds miserable too.
Anonymous
Check your privilege. Very few small companies offer.
(That said OP should pass on this unless she’s worried she can’t make rent)
pink nails
I don’t think it’s a privilege expectation to expect a 300 person company to have a 401k. I posted just above, but I’ll get even more specific – our company has a 401k (with a match and profit sharing) and there are 15 employees. Frankly the owners set it up because it’s a huge tax advantage for them.
Health insurance is a whole different thing. It’s offered, but it’s not great but it’s very expensive for the company. They pay a certain $$$ to the premium. I’m on the company health insurance but most of the employees take a buy out (same $$$ added to their check every month) and get it elsewhere.
Anonymous
My husband’s 5-person company found a way to offer a 401k
Anon
I worked at a law firm with about 6 people and they offered an IRS and matched a percentage. It’s a privilege for non-professionals but I assume it’s expected for almost everyone on this board.
Anon
@12:52, law firms typically don’t match, or at least didn’t when I was in Big Law a few years ago. There might have been a few that did, but it was not the industry standard.
Anonymous
I’m a professional with a master’s degree and have worked at two companies (briefly) without a 401K. Very much depends on your field and size of company.
OP, I wouldn’t jump though. It’s only been three weeks and a lot of other reasons not to take this. Those who keep chiming in about still looking after you take one probably don’t have a good sense of what it will be like to be in an in-office culture with limited PTO (and new) while trying to find time to do interviews. I’d focus on the prize rather than risk getting stuck somewhere you hate and having them be your latest position when trying to land the next job. The only thing that would dissuade me would be if my financial situation demanded immediate income or if the job title/experience/work product to be produced with the temporary gig were to somehow make the job hunt materially better going forward. You aren’t getting any younger–don’t waste key earning years on nowhere paths unless you absolutely have to.
Anonymous
DO NOT TAKE A JOB YOU DO NOT WANT.
Unless you really need the money and just need a job, any job, in order to feed your kids and keep a roof over your head. Which doesn’t sounds like it’s your circumstances.
Anon
No — take the job b/c having a job is how you get a better job. It’s not forever. It’s just for now.
Anon
I think that might be true if she’d been unemployed for six months or more. But it’s super early – it hasn’t even been a month! She has time to find something better.
Anon
No! It’s been 3 weeks and she has a severance package. Don’t take the crap job at all.
Anon
I had a horrific months-long job search after graduating college in the Great Recession and when it seemed to be happening again after graduating from grad school much later, I felt panicky too, but I turned down a job that I felt sick about and I’m so glad I did. It paid $45K in the Bay Area, would have been super traumatic for my sensitive nature (processing child abuse data), was in a sketchy part of town where I wouldn’t have felt safe walking back to the subway at night, and was only semi-related to my goals. I got another job about 2 months later and I’m still there today.
tl;dr: If you feel sick about it or have lost sleep, that’s a no.
Anon
Take it and keep looking, if you find something better quickly, you just explain it was part of your original search. Just my hot take, but I cannot get over the resistance to going into the office. Have we really gotten to the place where kittens get in the way of life?! We used to do it every day. It’s nice to get out of the house. A short commute solves most of what was hard about it. I think the concerns about time off are more valid, but if you’re exempt it’s pretty easy to never log a vacation day anyway. There are other ways to save for retirement besides a 401k too, I wouldn’t make that a dealbreaker either.
OP
Going into the office full time will be a lifestyle adjustment for sure, but that combined with the fact that it may be long hours into the evening and the limited PTO don’t make it appealing. I’ve worked full time in an office for many years, but it was a pretty standard 9-5 job. And I could log in from home in the evening if needed.
Anon
“if you’re exempt it’s pretty easy to never log a vacation day anyway.”
What does that mean? You go on vacation without taking PTO? Most people who don’t that won’t have a long future at the company.
Anon
Ha — if I’m checking work email it’s not a vacation day.
Anon GC
I had a boss who responded to my request for PTO and assurance I would check my email: “If you check your email, it is not a PTO day.” When I pointed out that I was the only person in my role so really had to check email, she said “Oh you can go on vacation, but don’t use your PTO if you work at all.”
Anon
Oh wow. I understand asking for a vacation day back if you spent half the day working, but I’ve never worked anywhere where you didn’t have to log PTO just because you checked your email a couple times.
Anon
I assure you — it’s not a couple of times.
Currently considering a second career / major life changes that works more binary: working or not-working. I think I need to be able to go dark vs being a single point of failure for too many things.
Anonymous
My current employer (fortune 500) is very conservative about its exempt pay practices and you really are not permitted to work, at all, on pto. Possibly a very brief email scan would fly but more than that you get paid for the work day.
Anon
If you enjoy the lighting, the ambient odors, the climate control, the noise and interruptions, etc. of your office building, good for you, but it’s a huge quality of life downgrade for a lot of us if the same work can be done as well or better at a computer at home.
And it’s not really “kittens getting in the way of life”; it’s more that unnecessary time in the office used to prevent people from fostering at all. The ability to sync one’s own lunch and snack breaks with checking in on kittens has been saving lives without detracting from anyone’s productivity.
Anon
Saving lives?!
Anon
I’d argue it’s creating a major mental health crisis and exacerbating political division because people have forgotten how to interact with each other. Opposite of “saving lives.”
Anon
I think this is regional. Where I live, WFH has led to people spending more time in the communities where they live, which are more politically and generally diverse than the office parks.
Anon
Gonna need you to cite your sources re saving lives.
Anon
CAT LIVES y’all!
I’ve seen no stats on WFH saving human lives (aside from remote schooling lowering K12 suicide, which was predictable).
Anon
I don’t think you can expect 6 weeks vacation at a corporate job in the US, but 11 days of PTO and 6 days sick leave would be a dealbreaker for me for sure.
The startup culture and lack of 401k would also be red flags to me.
Anon for this
Oh you definitely can. I have 32 days of PTO. Midcareer, US corporate in-house.
The culture and “eh maybe we’ll get to a 401k” would have me continuing to look for better options.
Anon
I mean, yes, there are some jobs that have that much but if you’re laid off and job searching you’re not really in a position to hold out for the best PTO possible, and 6 weeks vacation is way above average for the US corporate world. Also 30 days of PTO isn’t really 6 weeks of vacation unless you never get sick or have family members get sick, most people would have to use at least a handful of days for illness. But definitely she should hold out for more than 11 vacation days.
Anon
Only once in my working life did I have set vacation. For 20+ years, it’s “unlimited,” meaning highly illusory.
OP
Yeah, I understand getting the same amount of time off as I used to. However I do see more companies offering unlimited PTO. It worked for me at my last company, but I know each place is different. The lack of 401K and startup culture are my biggest flags too.
Anonymous
I got severely burned by promises of “unlimited PTO.” Never again.
Anon
My company has “unlimited PTO” but being on the executive leadership team, I can tell you that it’s not true in actuality. If people take more than average (~20-25 days), they are flagged and it’s not really considered acceptable. My company also gives 15 paid holidays. Six weeks is a lot of time… I think 3-4 weeks is much more typical.
Traveler
The _only_ reason companies offer unlimited PTO is so that they don’t have to carry the liability of accrued vacation time on their books and pay it out when employees leave. It is not really a mechanism for employees to take however much time they want, even if it is marketed that way. I’ve heard that on average employees actually take less vacation on unlimited PTO schemes (I have not fact-checked that one though)
Anon
This is 100% correct. It’s an accounting thing not a “lifestyle for employees” thing.
Anon
Keep looking.
Alternately, leverage hard for hybrid + more PTO. If they turn you down, then then turn you down and you keep looking.
Anon
I wouldn’t do this. The company is telling you who they are, believe them. Even if you successfully negotiate more PTO, it will be hard to take it, because the company culture is against time off. I speak from experience, having negotiated PTO up from a pathetically small amount.
JTM
I’m agreed with the other commenters – don’t take something out of desperation. You still have time to find something that is a better fit and aligned to both your interests & your lifestyle. Don’t settle out of fear!
OP
Thanks for the gut check. They do offer health insurance through UHC. He said something like the company pays 50% and the employee pays the rest? I’m not sure what that means, but I would want to know the exact amount I would be paying.
I will keep an open mind and see what comes out of the in person meeting.
Anon
Where I’ve worked, some employees pay 0% of their own (so not spouse or kids) health insurance, but as you make more, you pay a % up to 100%. Spouse / kids are not subsidized. They may have a sheet for each “type” you add for various salary bands.
FWIW, spouse works where the whole thing is heavily subsidized by the company and will likely never leave as that is $$$ if I had to pay for it.
Anon
It’s a tough job market out there. I would not turn down an opportunity unless you have another offer in the works. It doesn’t sound like a dream job for sure, but it may lead to a better opportunity. I wouldn’t count on being able to replicate what you had at your last job. There is a reason employers like this are laying people off.
OP
Yes, the fact that it’s a difficult job market definitely makes me nervous. I don’t expect to get the exact same kind of job, but I would want some basic benefits like a 401K. This would have been a great job in my 20s, but I’m at a different stage in life now.
Anecdata
The market’s really variable right now, but given that you’ve gotten to a what sounds like final round interview in 3 weeks, I think you’re a stronger candidate than you’re giving yourself credit for! If this was the first potential offer you’d gotten close to in 6 months, I’d give different advice
Anon
Sometimes you only get lucky once.
Anon
This.
Anon
I can’t remember if OP is the one who worked at one company for the majority of her career. If so, think very carefully about your marketability before saying no. Taking a job doesn’t mean you can’t keep looking and it’s a lot easier to be picky when you have one. You’ve been laid off. You’re describing a skill set a lot of people have. You’re in a tough market. Unless you’re independently wealthy I cannot see turning down a job. Take the money you save from severance, put it in an index fund and voila, you’ve matched a year of this employer’s 401k benefit. Again, you can keep looking but don’t turn down something when you’ve got nothing.
Anonymous
She has 30 weeks of severance . I would pass.
Anon
Why not bank the severance and take the new job?? This is so irrational. Look at the severance as a nice bump to retirement savings, stop worrying about puny benefits at new employer, and just start making money again. If it turns out to be a crummy job, then look again or don’t stop looking, but why on earth would you spend severance when you could get a paycheck and keep the money.
nuqotw
I’m sorry. This sounds really hard. It also sounds like you don’t need this job and can wait for something better. Everything here seems to signal significant disconnect with things important to many employees and it’s not wrong for you to decide it’s a dealbreaker. 11 days of PTO and 6 sick days is not a lot. A 401K should be standard and the fact that at 300 employees it is merely in the works signals disorganization – companies with a single digit number of employees have 401Ks, so how can they not have set this up?!
Anon
I know it’s scary to be unemployed and feels like this job might be the only thing that comes along, but do not take this job. It’s not right for you for all the reasons you listed. Keep looking and the right job WILL come along.
Anon
I’d only do it if they pay you an absolute ton of money. Don’t do it for a 10% raise over your last job. All the stuff you’re giving up is worth a lot of money. Go for a big number. If they balk, then you don’t take the job, which you don’t really want anyway.
Anon
You have 30 weeks of severance, you absolutely do not need to take this job.
Anon
That’s not relevant though. What matters more: how many real lines do you have in the water and are you getting real nibbles on them?
Anon
How has the job search been going apart from this? If you’ve been hunting high and low and this is the only job you’ve come across my advice would be very different than if you’ve been seeing open positions, talking to recruiters, hearing positive things in your network etc.
Anonymous
You’re only 3 weeks into a job search. I’d say six months to a year is a common time to be unemployed, especially if you’re in leadership. A startup is good if you want that experience, want to go for a higher title, want to gain new skills. It doesn’t sound like it’s a fit at all, and I’m sure there will be another startup around with minimal benefits if you’re looking in a few months. Keep looking for now. If later you have to compromise, then put a 2 year limit on time in the role.
Anon
I’d take the offer, and see how long I had to consider it, and go hard at anything else on the horizon while you think about it. If at that point, it all evaporated, I’d accept the offer while still networking around (and this is where in-office is a great plus, because you are around people and can network more at lunch).
Anonymous
OP, I’d take the meeting with the CEO and lay out your concerns about the 401k, insurance, and PTO. Then I’d make sure the salary request was in line with your concerns. Say you make $150k now and except to make similar in a new role. Ask for $200 and 3 weeks of PTO. You are going to be saving for your retirement and paying more for healthcare so take the extra income and bank it for those expenses.
You will either get an offer worth considering, or you won’t, and you can make a decision then.
anon
Thigh Society’s ads are stalking me, and I’m intrigued. Are they that much better for the price than skimmies or bike shorts?
Anon
I feel that they have some shorter lengths that don’t show length-wise under my summer dresses (I’m short and like above-the-knee dresses or ones that are so swingy that typical lengths would likely show). They are thin. I have nude-for-me and black and they’ve held up for several years. The chub rub is lethal otherwise.
Greensleeves
As a menopausal woman who is always warm now, I really love their cooling version! Very comfortable, don’t roll, good length, and definitely cooler than the Jockey version I used to get at Target. They aren’t shaping, but they’re perfect under dresses and skirts where you just need coverage.
No Face
PSA: I bought a cooling version of the Jockey slip shorts at Target in the last couple of years.
Greensleeves
I didn’t know they had a cooling version – thanks!
Anon
I’m 44, and I’m starting to wonder if it’s time for some sort of face treatments, but I have no idea what. I don’t really see much in the way of wrinkles, but I feel like I look tired and bedraggled all the time, and my eyes are baggy and sad. I look up Botox and fillers and lasers and am just lost. There’s a medispa down the road -do I just ask them what I should do? How do I manage being sure to get something effective with a limited budget?
Anon
Start with a good eyebrow pencil or pomade. I like Anastasia, which they sell at Sephora. A good brow is the poor / nervous girl’s best friend. (I’m 53; occasional Botox; very oily skin; open to procedures but really concerned I’d look like David Guest).
Sunshine
I spend money on my face in the form of Botox and laser treatments. I would absolutely not just go into any medspa and ask for advice. I don’t believe medspas are regulated (or, if they are, they’re loosely regulated), and I don’t trust them. Either get a recommendation for a medspa from a friend or see your dermatologist.
What I don’t spend money on is expensive skin care products because I’ve never noticed a difference. In the past few years, I started doing lasers and started use OTC retinol, CeraVe cream, and I do slugging. Plus sunscreen and I stay out of the sun. At 45, my skin looks better than it did 5 years ago.
Anon
I would look on IG for local cosmetic seems. You can see from their content if they are likely to have a vibe you’d be comfortable with for Botox or lasers.
AnonNY
What type of lasers do you recommend?
Anon
I have rosacea and there is one that works well for that on my skin, but I think there are different ones that do different things. They will likely see your skin and hear you out and make some recommendations. Some are better for resurfacing deeper acne scars vs hyperpigmentation vs just “looking fresh”.
Anon
Clear and Brilliant will do wonders for discoloration (I used it for melasma). Sofwave is for skin tightening (similar to morpheous but less expensive, less painful and better results). Those are the two I’ve done and I’m planning on microneedling with another sofwave in the winter.
In terms of even tone I’d start with a good vitamin C serum (Poems from the Lab is my favorite), a good SPF, and a retinol (I just use differin). I follow Fiddy Shades of Snail and more or less buy what she recommends.
Anon
Go to the medspa for a consult and see what they say! My medspa does consults for free. You will probably learn a couple things and hear more about prices and options. It may be worth it to see a dermatologist or plastic surgeon’s office for a cosmetic consult if you have any questions that aren’t answered by the medspa as they do have more training but also might be more expensive. If you don’t already have the basics of a good skincare regimen, that can be a great place to start. A good sunscreen EVERY daily, a retinol that you work up to using regularly (over the counter OR prescription) and a vitamin C serum. These have the best evidence and are a great place to start. This can get you pretty far!
I have been doing botox for a couple years, as I’ve aged I appreciate that a little botox “eyebrow lift” can pop my eyes open (i was noticing “tired eyes” as well) but in the hands of a skilled injector still looks very natural, not like spock eyebrows. I was developing some melasma/brown discoloration where the sun hits my face most and these were wiped away with 2 rounds of IPL which was miraculous.
Anon
Find a highly recommended dermatologist who specializes in cosmetic dermatology. They can provide more wholistic recommendations and can prescribe topicals, etc. They’re not as pushy as a med spa b/c they will be reimbursed by your insurance for the initial visit. I had to visit a few to find one whose style I liked (more natural approach, not pushy, willing to work within what I am comfortable with – eg. lasers and topicals but not injectables).
I tried botox but didn’t like it so won’t do it again. I’ve been really happy with results after a few laser treatments and a big overhaul in my skincare routine (some prescription meds added).
anon
I was about to post a nearly identical question, though I am more worried about looking droopy. Does anyone have any experience with fillers for jowls/droopy cheeks?
Anonymous
Real talk here. I had fillers in my cheeks about eight years ago. I really liked the results but it lasted way longer than they said it would. I’m in my early forties and am hearing that fillers might not fully dissolve as advertised so I’m holding off in hopes of a facelift in the next four to seven years.
Anon
I had a rhinoplasty at 40 (best decision ever, I’d wanted one for years and I love the results). My doctor is $$$ but literally one of the best in his field and when I asked his opinion he suggested a face lift no earlier than 55 or so, no fillers until then, and only sofwave/microneedling/PRP but NOT Morpheus as it goes deeper than he likes and had found some issues with tissue damage.
Olivia Rodrigo
I have a difficult/toxic relationship with my boss, who is the chief executive of our organization (~150 employees, but my office is 3 doors down from his). Resume is dusted off and the appropriate search activity is commencing, but I need tips for managing my mental health/reactions to his behavior in the meantime. He is mercurial, often yells at work, hard to read/understand what he’s looking for — too much to type. I love my job otherwise so this is a huge bummer. Anyway, what boundaries did you set or practices did you implement in order to manage something like this?
Anon
Send him a news article about the chairman of the FDIC currently nearly losing his job over the same behavior.
CHL
My favorite book for this is ‘working with you is killing me’. I reference my copy often and recommend it all the time!
Anonymous
I’ve worked in highly technical customer service where I had to field discussions with angry, demanding customers. It was always helpful to keep in mind that it wasn’t personal. I know it’s different with a CEO who knows you, but if sounds like he would treat anyone this way. I’d try to practice detachment, reminding yourself it isn’t personal and making time for exercise or hobbies after work. Can you look around at the other leadership and see what works for them? Is it better to be even keeled and deescalate? Is it better to discuss how his behavior impacts you in a 1:1 when he’s not amped up? You’re already looking for a job, so I’d try to laugh it off at home, oh Henry the 8th is being a jerk again.
Anonymous
Thoughts on Bridgerton Series 3? I was slightly disappointed but maybe it was just hyped up so much this year?
Anon
I liked it. It was not what I was expecting based on the rumors about the season, and I wonder if that changed in the rework that delayed its release. I didn’t love how Pen was still hung up on Colin even after what be said last season, but it seems kind of realistic in that aspect.
Anonymous
I liked it but didn’t love it, it was a bit cheesy with the balloon etc? But I think enemies to lovers is all sarcastic one liners etc and awkward friends to lovers is a sweeter story that maybe is just harder to film and look natural. I felt the costumes seemed a bit too OTT this year too, I’ve loved the other years being a dramatised version of the time but some of Cressida’s seemed crazy.
Anon
It’s my favorite (and of my one friend who has caught up, hers too) so far. I’m a sucker for friends to lovers, thought the leads had extremely believable chemistry, and the last scene was maybe the best of the series so far. (The laughing after the carriage stopped! Full swoon.) I can’t wait for the second half and the big secret to drop.
NY CPA
This is probably my favorite season so far mostly because I like the principals so much. I liked the first season, hated the second (enemies to lovers is such a tedious story line). This season definitely has its faults but at the same time, I’m still enjoying!
Anon
I think they have zero chemistry (although the actress who plays Penelope is great and trying her best). So it’s painful to watch for me.
Anon
I’m worried about this because it’s also hard for me to get over Penelope’s mistakes in season one to root for her now. I know it’s just fiction, but it would help if it was problematic but also persuasive.
dumb question
does it ever make sense to take out a 401k loan to pay off law school loans? or am I just tired of paying them and I want them done and I’m looking for a shortcut that doesn’t really exist.
Anon
You have to pay that back in a lump sum if you change jobs IIRC. And I could only borrow 50K against mine.
dumb question
I’m down to 56k in loans and I could pay back the extra from my emergency savings
Anon
Why not just pay them out of savings and be done with it? Seems like that’s an easier solution than more loans of a different stripe.
Anon
Sounds like she has savings for the $6k difference between her loan balance and the $50k 401k loan max.
If everyone could easily access $50,000 of savings, student loan debt wouldn’t be a problem anywhere.
This board can be so privileged.
Anon
I think she means she has savings for the extra 6k, not the whole 56k.
nuqotw
I would either pay them off with cash or keep the loans and make payments. I would not borrow from my 401k because you never get back the tax-favored investment returns.
Digby
This depends on the specifics of your 401k plan. Some employers (plan sponsors) let former EEs continue to repay loans, via monthly check or electronic debit.
Anonymous
Nope dumb move
Anon
I think this only makes sense if the interest rates may sense and you have a significant 401(k) balance. What is the interest rate on your loans? What would be the interest rate on your 401(k) loan? How much of your 401(k) would the $50k be?
Anon
No, it doesn’t. You have to repay it with post-tax funds, losing the favorable tax treatment.
Anon
That’s not true. If she doesn’t do a 401k loan she’s paying her student loans back with post-tax dollars after any tax benefit on student loan repayment, which is pretty low.
So if she takes pretax money out of her 401k to pay off the loan and repays the loan with post-tax dollars, it’s basically the same situation as paying off the loans directly.
There are other reasons not to take a 401k loan but the pre-tax / post-tax difference is not really one of them.
NGO anon
Thoughts on how to ask about a string of negative employee reviews about a company during an interview? Is it crazy to reach out to current employees via LinkedIn and, if it’s not crazy, how do I do it?
Background: I work in non-profit management and a recruiter reached out this week about scheduling an interview for a director-level role at a small NGO. I saw the job posted not long ago, and despite the anxious imposter syndrome concerns about being under-qualified for it, I submitted an application in a fit of “a mediocre man would totally go for it” feelings. Admittedly, I only researched the company’s website and recent publications, but didn’t check the glass door reviews before applying. Did some digging into those reviews after scheduling and it seems there’s been some upheaval and sizeable staff departures after a new CEO came in about 3 years ago. Based on the reviews (and it’s several since the new CEO came onboard, not 1-2), the place seems rife with issues and possibly down-right toxic which is worrying.
I’m going through with the interview for the practice, at the very least, but unsure on where to go from there if I advance in the process. The role would be an incredible step up for me and, on paper, the company’s work and mission are the ‘dream’ (as much as working can be a dream!) so it’s disappointing to think all this prep and effort could be for naught
Anon
My last corporate job was for a company with a ton of bad reviews and they turned out to be extremely true.
Anonymous
My last company was miserable in a million ways but the reviews are all positive (they have fought to have negative ones taken down, publicly gone after perceived posters and have you sign an NDA when they get rid of your position—which they do frequently so they get a churn of younger, cheaper labor). The positive ones appear to be stuffed by leadership and its lackeys. I take all reviews with a grain of salt now. You’re likely seeing fake “good” like this or only the disgruntled.
Anon
Look up the CEO on LinkedIn. Look up his or her previous company. Then check the employee reviews there.
That doesn’t get you all of your answer, but gets you most of the way there.
Anon
I would not answer a linked in message from somebody I didn’t know asking if the place I work actually sucks or not.
Anon
+1 I actually flagged HR on a message like this. In my situation, the who reached out sent a strongly worded message about having me call them to discuss my employer. This person was also interviewing for a customer facing role. HR was quick to tell me they were immediately cut from the interview process because of it.
Anonymous
If Glassdoor is telling you a place has problems, it has problems. Go for the interview and politely decline the job, if offered. If you feel you must do some digging, try reaching out to former employees on LinkedIn.
Anon
Yes: crazy to reach out to current employees on LinkedIn
Not crazy: to ask to speak to current employees once you’re near the offer stage and really try to read between the lines, to ask lots of questions about company culture and turnover, to deep dive into LinkedIn to see if you have any mutual connections with current or past employees who’d be willing to have a casual conversation with you.
Anonymous
I’d try to ask around your network for anyone who knows the non-profit and get a take there. You could see if anyone at that company is connected to someone in your network on LinkedIn, or think of who you know that always knows the info/gossip in the community.
Anonymous
Don’t reach out to employees on LinkedIn because their loyalties are with the NGO, not you, so it will backfire. That said companies can pay to get bad Glassdoor reviews removed, so the fact that bad reviews exist is a red flag.
anon
Lol if you hadn’t said “small” NGO I’d think that you were interviewing at my organization. For us, the linkedin stuff is true, things are a mess, I am pretty frustrated and ready to leave because I’ve been here for ages and my amount of patience for this nonsense after more than a decade is nil. However, I do think enough of what is good about the place remains that we will eventually right the ship and probably they will get rid of the CEO in not too long. In my experience, specific corners of the non-profit world are very small. If you were eligible for a director level job at my organization, you would certainly know someone within 1 degree of separation who works with us now. Can you reach out through your networks to get someone to introduce you to someone who might be willing to chat with you about things? I would think that would be much more effective than cold contacting on linkedin. All of us are pretty open with potential hires about the good, the bad and the ugly of what is going on.
Anon
I’ve never ordered a today’s pick so quickly. This dress will be perfect for summer days when I want to be slightly more dressy than my usual WFH looks.
Anon
Looking for a hat or visor and sunglasses for teen boy who will be outdoors a lot this summer. He does not like sticking out or being flashy in any way but I also don’t want to just buy him plain black or grey products.
Work Phone
Maybe a little more snarky than what you want, but if he really wants to be left alone: https://www.dogecore.com/collections/bucket-hats/products/do-not?variant=48285269098771
Anonymous
What is your local sports team? If he doesn’t want to stick out, just buy that hat.
Anon
Can’t a teenager pick out his own sunglasses?
Gen
Go back to bed.
Anonymous
GoodR is popular for sunglasses (or something like that) – for hat I’d let him pick one out or just go very basic Adidas or Under Armor or something. Maybe a good sunscreen stick too to reapply midday? There are some cooling ones out there that are especilly nice on hot days.
Housecounsel
Does anyone have any tips for how to . . . study? I have to take a test for a certification I am seeking unrelated to my profession. It’s kind of for fun but I do need to pass a written exam and would be mortified if I flunked. The last test I took was the bar exam a very long time ago, when there was no Instagram feed to refresh. When I had a question about something or needed more info, I had to look in a book, not ask a search engine or go back to the manual which is of course online.
I sound very old. How do you young kids focus with so many distractions?
Anon
Get away from electronic devices; if necessary pack up the physical books and go to a library or coffee shop to study.
Anon
I’m an actuary so studying was my life for a decade. Clear the calendar and clear the dining room table. Put all your stuff there, go through the materials, take notes and highlight. Then go back through. Are there practice tests for this exam? Take those under test-like conditions.
Most importantly, don’t let you talk yourself into the usual procrastination distractions like the fridge needs deep cleaning right this instant. Clear the decks, the exam is your number one priority.
nuqotw
Make a study plan and if you can find a study partner. It’s been a long time since I took exams (qualifying exams in grad school – pass or leave the program) and the thing to do was study in a group and treat it like a job (it sounds like you have a job, but set a regular study hour and stick with it). Have a topic and concrete goals for each session – the smaller the better. “Pass this exam” is often too big a goal. Accept that you will have more and less productive study sessions. Have a plan for what to do when you’re not feeling it on a particular day so that not studying that day is a one-off rather than derailing your entire schedule.
Anon
Are there study guides/text books available? Our teens still learn old school study skills: they write out outlines, make notes on main points, write out flash cards, and re-read the textbooks and then have us verbally quiz them. There are many studies showing that re-phrasing or writing down information helps the brain retain it better.
DC Pandas
I would start with thinking about how you work best- and go from there:
1. Do you prefer working in a quiet setting alone, with people nearby, or in pairs/teams?
2. When is your energy level (morning, noon, afternoon, evening) the highest?
3. Look at your current calendar and sort out where you’re going to make space for this effort in your ideal energy window + setting. Is this going to be a weekend effort or can you move work-day items to accommodate?
Anonymous
Break it down into daily study sessions and allot a set amount of time to study per day. Write out what you’ll cover each day, and map it out over however long you have to study.
If you have sample tests, use those to study. Personally, I like working through practice problems, then reviewing each question in depth to focus my review.
ChL
I recently studied for a professional certification. ChatGPT can help you make a study plan and test questions etc. google that and you’ll find some good advice. Practicing active recall vs passive reading is most effective for most topics. Use pomodoro to structure your time. Good luck!
Anon
So–I went back to law school in my thirties, and in the years post-college, I lost the park-your-booty-in-a-chair and study willpower.
Go to a place that’s extremely boring. Take only your study materials and your phone. Put your phone in airplane mode. Commit to studying at least 30 mins with a five minute break or 45 mins with a ten minute break. Repeat these study-rest blocks a few times.
You have to tell yourself this is not fun, but the info has to get into your brain.
Also, I am an old, but e-flashcards like Quizlet did absolutely nothing for me–I needed to get plain old index cards and do the test prep myself for it to go into my brain. Don’t kid yourself about whether you’re learning or not. Make sure the material is going into your brain, you can recall it, and you can analyze and manipulate it in the way you’d need to on test day.
Good luck!
anon
Anyone have experience with epigastic hernias? Mine is small (not visible in most positions, even with my shirt off), but it is very new, I’m quite lean right now, it may get bigger as I carry more weight, etc. I’m also an amateur athlete and my sport uses my abs/core A LOT.
I have a doctor, etc. etc., but looking for what other people decided to do. Wait and see? Repair? My doctor said both are viable options. Cost isn’t a consideration. I’m lucky to live very close to Shouldice, which apparently is well known for hernia repairs throughout the US and Canada.
Anon
I’ve got a small umbilical hernia that showed up post laparoscopic surgery and pregnancy. (I had the laparoscopic surgery with entry thru bellybutton during the pregnancy). It’s tiny and I’m doing nothing. I also had a femoral hernia (which showed up several years later) that I had repaired without mesh. That one did involve my intestines and was a risk so I got surgery.
Anonymous
Is it possible to gain weight if your total calories are under the number you need but your fat and protein intake are right where they should be? I’m guessing no because it’s a calories in vs calories out determination. But I’m not sure – like is it possible to gain muscle in that situation which then would up the wait?
This is in the case of someone who is trying to gain but just isn’t used to eating all the time yet and has cut out the empty carbs for health reasons so it isn’t as easy at the end of the night to just be like 400 calories short – ok stack of cookies it is. And after a whole day of eating nuts, peanut butter etc. at some point they just don’t want more of those things.
Work Phone
Nope. If you need to gain weight you have to eat more.
Anecdata
I mean, bodies are complicated. Yes, it’s calories in – calories out, but your metabolism (part of calories out) can change in response to your eating (and other life factors), and different people’s metabolism changes in different ways. So if I were gaining at the rate I wanted with eating that was under a number from some calculator, I wouldn’t stress about it. If I wasn’t gaining, I would eat more calories. If I felt like I couldn’t consume enough calories to maintain a healthy weight, I would ask my doctor for help.
Anon
higher fat content = higher deliciousness = I can eat more of whatever it is
nonfat yogurt: gag; eats 0
high fat yogurt: yum; can I have 7?
Anon
You would need to eat more. Carbs get a bad rap – there are good carbs out there.
Anon
Are you the person who posted a few days ago asking how many calories people ate? If so (and really even if not), as many people said, talked to a registered dietitian and get feedback on your specific situation. Gaining weight healthfully is one of the things they’re great at helping with.
Anonymous
+1 There have been two or three posts recently from someone who is needing to gain weight. I’d also strongly suggest getting some personalized coaching on this from someone who understand nutrition. (Also, if it happens that all these posts have been from you, then it sounds like this is really troubling you and you’re not finding answers. If that’s the case, it’s doubly important to reach out to someone who can talk with you one-on-one.)
No Problem
Which is a bigger health problem, the reason the person won’t eat the empty carbs or the reason the person needs to gain weight? And frankly, 400 calories short isn’t a stack of cookies, it’s like 3 cookies or a pastry or something. The person needs to be avoiding the foods that are not calorie dense and swapping them out for the ones that are. No to snacking on carrot sticks, yes to snacking on ice cream, baked goods, etc.
Anonymous
You should speak to a registered dietician. They are trained to answer these questions.
Anon
Poor appetite and difficulty gaining weight are serious medical symptoms. No one who is getting appropriate medical care in this situation should have to turn to an online message board with questions like this. The answers depend on personal health history. A second opinion may be necessary if a medical provider has dropped the ball.
Anonymous
You cannot gain muscle unless you’re eating in a serious surplus AND working out and eating a lot of protein. Very very difficult to gain muscle; the best you can do at maintenance or in a deficit is to maintain muscle. If you look into weightlifting forums like on reddit the concept of “doing a bulk” (like 6 weeks of eating 2500-3500 daily) is a very popular one, probably a lot of thoughts on foods to help you get there.
But agree with everyone else, it shouldn’t be this hard — see a doc or RD.
Anonymous
This is someone with an eating disorder who needs professional help. Please don’t spread the disorder around here. Call a dietician.
Anonymous
For those who make smoothies regularly, can I ask what blender you use? I feel like they are a very popular breakfast but everyone can’t be using those traditional glass blenders right? I mean nothing against those blenders, I have one but I feel like making a smoothie for one person and then taking the top and blade apart, putting it in the dishwasher, and then having it be out of commission for a day or two – as I don’t need to run my dishwasher daily – seems not worth the effort.
Is there something smaller? Immersion blender? Something else? Bonus points if I can stick it in a dishwasher.
Anon
I have this one and it’s perfect for single serving smoothies. I also have a big vitamix but only break that out now for specific applications.
https://www.amazon.com/Ninja-BN401-Auto-iQ-1100-Peak-Watt-Personal/dp/B08QXJ31WR?source=ps-sl-shoppingads-lpcontext&ref_=fplfs&psc=1&smid=ATVPDKIKX0DER
pink nails
My ninja blender came with a couple individual cups that can be used on same stand as the traditional blender. They can go in the dishwasher.
Frankly while I love my dishwasher, I rarely put the blade through it. I just wash off the smoothie, spray some soap on it, and the wash it off again and leave it to air dry.
Anon
I mean the obvious solution here is that you hand wash it. Fill it up with water and a bit of soap and run the blender again. The end.
I have a Ninja blender that I like.
Anon88
I have a Vitamix and love it for smoothies– they come out so smooth. Vitamix recommends filling the carafe part halfway with water, squirting dish soap in and running the blender on high for a minute, then rinse. If you do this immediately after blending you don’t need to wash it. (I’ve found that for thicker things like soup it still needs to be washed, but a fruit smoothie comes right out).
Anon
This right here. Vitamix is worth the cost – blends everything, doesn’t bog down, self cleans
Senior Attorney
Team Vitamix
Former Junior Associate
We use a Beast blender and, while it was incredibly expensive, it’s been great. That said, I clean it by rinsing it out, then filling it with soapy water and running it briefly; that would also work with a traditional glass blender, which I think would do the job fine.
Anon
Magic bullet blender, the kind that is a little cup you screw apart. Everything can go into the dishwasher. They come with multiple cups but you can also buy another bottom piece.
Anon
Ninja is the best value for the price, hands down
Anon
Nutri Bullet. As seen on TV! But actually it’s great. I also use it for cooking like for making pesto or whirling up a can of tomatoes into a purée.
Anon
Nutribullet. The cup goes in the dishwasher; the base is very easy to clean (just blend soapy water in the blender, and then rinse off the blades).
Anon
I have a $30 Oster blender from Target with a glass jar. It works fine. We also have a $300 vitamix. It also works fine. I hand wash in either case. It’s easy-peasy.
Anon
I’m the poster from yesterday with the violent brother in law. I just wanted to say a huge thank you to everyone who responded with insight/advice – it was so helpful to have a gut check and to hear how you all would approach the situation. I sent screenshots of your responses to fiancé and emphasized the insanity of the situation to him. He decided to talk to his parents and say that he was going to leave early or that his brother could go home early, and to stress to them how unacceptable it was. He hasn’t lived in his home country since he was 18 (he came to the US for college) but he felt they made have more permissive attitudes toward physical abuse and prioritize keeping family together over individual safety/comfort. He said the responses were really helpful in showing them how reprehensible what his brother did was and that it wasn’t something to sweep under the rug. His dad talked to the brother and the brother took a flight home last night, so I think my fiancé will have some space now to start processing.
Anyway, just an update and a big thank you to this community. I didn’t have anyone to talk to about it so this was invaluable and I really appreciate you all.
anon
<3 Good luck to you and your fiance as you both start to process this!
Vicky Austin
Caught up on that thread later but so glad to hear your fiance is safely away from his brother! Hope he gets home safe himself and you two can have some productive conversations.
Anon
Glad to hear your brother is safe. Your story makes a lot more sense knowing the family is from a foreign country and there are cultural issues at play.
I hope you are also thinking seriously about what it means for you to marry into a family like this. Please prioritize your own safety and well being.
Anon
I just went back to read your post yesterday and OMG. I’m so glad your fiancé’s brother left the trip. You have a lifetime ahead of you now figuring out how to maintain distance from fiancé’s brother. I’m so sorry.
Anon
Thank you for updating, and I’m so happy to hear this very, very important first step. Think about boundaries going forward, too, to protect yourself, your fiancé, and your marriage.
Senior Attorney
I’m glad the immediate crisis is over, but as others are saying.. this isn’t over. You have a lot of thinking to do, OP.
Anon
That’s a good update.
As someone from a super dysfunctional home environment, thank you. Outsiders who can provide solid perspective are invaluable in escaping the crazy.
Anon
We have a big bright room on the main floor that we converted to our master bedroom. Suddenly, everyone wants to hang out there on our cal king bed, which is fine but is not comfortable for us adults who can’t just flop sideways and be happy, unlike kids and dogs. We have a fancy mattress that we’re not giving up. Is there a piece of furniture like a portable or foldable couch back that attaches to the bed and can be removed? Totally open to a new bed frame. What other pieces of furniture would help with the nightly bedroom-to-living room conversion?
Anon
A settee is perfectly normal bedroom furniture. I have an armless upholstered chair by the side of my bed, but armchairs are great too. Depends on the size of the room, really.
pink nails
+1 all of this.
We once lived in a condo for a few months that came with furniture, and we ended up with a loveseat in our bedroom. We really liked it! In that space it was on one side of the bed, but if you have space it looks nice at the foot of the bed.
Anon
Is a seteee actually comfortable? Any recommendations for comfortable ones?
Anonymous
I would just take whatever they like about the room (light? Comfortable place to sit? TV?) and replicate it in the living room to encourage everyone to hang out there.
Anon
I don’t know this brand but something like this?
https://freshfrenzy.co/products/luxury-wedge-pillow
There’s also a type of pillow called a “husband pillow” that has arms and a back. I used one in college for studying on my bed!
Anonymous
This is what you are looking for. I got one from Wayfair, different brand, that has held up very well. It looks to me like the one I have is a bit more substantial than the one linked. My BF and I are pretty short, so it just stays on my bed, but it might need to come off for sleeping for taller people. I have a wooden headboard, so it is also good protection from that.
Anon
OP here – I really like this! Thanks!
We can’t really replicate this creature-attracting setup in the actual living room because it’s more long than wide and putting a big space to flop onto isn’t feasible without blocking all the walkways. And we don’t mind them in our space, just don’t want to spend the evening developing back pain.
Anon
I feel like HGTV is constantly designing these ‘sitting room’ style spaces in main bedrooms. Padded benches at the foot of the bed, armchairs with ottomans, a loveseat, etc. all make sense to me.
Anon
No suggestions but when I was a kid often our whole family + dog would end up hanging in my parents’ bed and I have fond memories of those times
Anon
This warms my heart. Thanks!
Anon
Seeking alternative to Allbirds. I love my Allbirds tree runners as a casual weekend shoe, but I feel like I may be a little out of date wearing these. What’s a more trend forward comfy sneaker at the same price point? I found cairiumas and adidas too flat and unsupportive.
Anon
I like Hoff sneakers! Very trendy and comfortable.
Anon
I’m thinking about taking up golf. I use to play in high school but haven’t played since. So about 15+ years ago.
Any hive wisdom on: What are are women wearing golfing these days? Back in the day, I was required to wear collared shirts. Which I understand is proper golf etiquette. Is that still a thing? I do not mind wearing something a little preppy but I do not want to look like I’m wearing a costume out and about either.
If I’m really serious, should I consider trying to get into a private lesson or two to refresh on the rules, form, etc.?
Flats Only
Definitely get back into golf – it’s wonderful! Dress code depends entirely on where you play. Private club? Most likely a specific, more formal, and adhered-to code. Public courses? Comfortable and suitable clothes but no strict code.
Definitely get a lesson or two as a refresher.
Sasha
Golf dresses! I wear mine a ton off the course as well. They’re just above knee length with separate matching shorts for underneath, and they are collared with a quarter zipper. Mine were from the river site but if you google golf dress you’ll see a ton of options.
go for it
paging Risked Credit (or anyone else):
Would you be willing to share how you get 100 grams of protein per day?
I struggle with getting over 50, so anything you might offer would be appreciated
HFB
I struggled with this too, but it really probably is as simple as: you have to get used to eating lot more food than you have been. You have to proactively seek out food to eat even when you are not hungry, and then make sure that food has some kind of protein in it. Think of it as an item on your to-do list, right along with errands you need to run and chores you need to do.
Another couple tricks- add a dollop of cottage cheese to yogurt to whatever else you are eating (it’s suprisingly versatile and makes things richer and creamier). Use nutritional yeast as a condiment. Better yet, make dips! I love anything savory you can put on something crunchy. You can even make a dip with cottage cheese/yogurt, nutritional yeast, and whatever other condiments you like. salsa and yogurt is a good one. Or make bean dip. Have a hardboiled egg or two on the side with every meal. If you are making a can of soup, add some beans.
Anon
I get 100-130g of protein a day and don’t find that I have to eat more than I used to – I just have to make sure what I’m eating has protein. If I”m not thinking about macros, I eat 2 meals a day + snacks and very little protein (like I’ll eat oatmeal at noon and a bowl of cereal at 5PM and be good). If I think about eating 3 meals a day and having a main protein source in each of them,I find it very easy to hit 100g
anon
For me it was just adding high protein Fairlife milk with each meal, cafe au lait as my coffee, hot vanilla drink in the evening. It eat high protein greek yogurt with fruit for breakfast, tofu or eggs for lunch, whatever I want for dinner with a high protein component (less meat focused diet in general).
I just can’t physically eat so much filling food every day to get protein up to 100g but the Fairlife milk makes it easy to get above 50-80.
But 100g is totally unnecessary and hopefully your body can handle that…. Why are you doing something that clearly is unpleasant for you to achieve?
Anon
If you’re trying to build muscle, 100g of protein is the MINIMUM most people need. I aim for 130g.
That being said, as long as I’m eating 3 meals a day and building my meals around protein (aka not eating Cheerios for my dinner, which I do a lot) I find it really easy to hit 100+g.
anon
That simply isn’t true. If the OP wants to be a bodybuilder and bulk up there are better sites for recs, but for healthy typical women trying to be fit and healthy 100g of protein is more than any doctor or nutritionist would push for. And not necessary, and for some folks it is too much for their kidneys.
The OP literally says she is struggling (?) to reach 50. Sounds like there are some issues here, and clearly she is in a totally different pool than you.
Anon
I mean, I have no interest in being a bodybuilder, but I am athletic and trying to put on some muscle and both registered dietitians I worked with both suggested 100 g of protein a day.
Anon
This is my favorite pasta! I’m a lifelong pasta lover and this is the only pasta substitute I have ever found acceptable (and actually delicious and preferable!). It has 17 grams of protein per serving. https://www.barilla.com/en-us/product-results/pasta/range/proteinplus?sort=alpha&page=1
Anon
I eat a LOT of Banza pasta – I know its not for everyone but I really enjoy it.
Anon
I aim for 100-130g of protein a day.
In the morning I add 2 tbsp of collagen to my coffee which I drink with Fairlife milk. For breakfast I have fruit and either greek yogurt, eggs, chia pudding, or oatmeal + protein powder.
I have either a smoothie (frozen fruit, protein powder, chia seeds, Fairlife milk) or a Fairlife bottled protein shake as one of my snacks.
For lunch and dinner I typically eat grain bowls, salads, or soups with protein in them (chicken, shrimp, fish, beef) as well as a mix of vegetables, cheeses, seeds, and other toppings.
My snacks usually contain protein too: beef jerky, nuts or seeds, veggies + a dip (either hummus or greek yogurt based), PB toast, greek yogurt, chocolate milk + protein powder mixed in.
Risked Credit
Here goes. Its boring but it works. I have a list of meals and foods I pick up each week at Trader Joes or costco. I don’t include veggies in my protein count because I consider that fake news.
Breakfasts:
31g of protein is 3 Scrambled eggs with 1/4 of a container of fat free cottage cheese added. Eggs – 18g Cottage cheese 13g (I add frozen veggies to this mainly spinach, peppers and brocolli)
31g of protein is 1/3 cup bob mill protein oats with 1 cup of pumpkin seeds and 3 tbsp of hemp seeds – Oatmeal 9g, pumpkin seeds 12g and hemp seeds 10g (I add the frozen mixed berries to this and I had added almond milk to make it into a smoothie before which was meh but I’m not a big smoothie fan)
29g of protein is 1 cup of costco fat free greek yoghurt and 1/4 cup of slivered almonds – greek yoghurt 22g, almonds 7g ( I add frozen mixed berries to this or I add salt, grated cucumber and cumin and eat it as a dip with carrot chips)
Lunch and or dinner –
47g of protein – Lentil vegetable soup with 100g grilled chicken – lentil soup (whole can) 21g and chicken 26g
36g of protein – Tuna Steak with two boiled eggs on a huge bowl of salad – 100g tuna 24g protein and 2 eggs is 12g
40g of protein – Tuna sandwich – can with mayo on TJs superorganic bread with 2 thin slices of cheese on top – grilled – Tuna 26g, cheese 5g, superbread is 9g for two slices
52g of protein – Mahi Mahi 6oz grilled with lentil salad (1 cup of lentils mixed with tomatoes, cucumber and mixed salad) with green godess dressing – Mahi Mahi 32g lentils 20g
31g of protein – SArdines on 2 slices of superbread with TJs brushetta topping – Sardines 22g, super bread 9g
47g of protein – stirfry mix or bag of salad with 180g of just chicken – chicken 47g
42g protein – 8oz scallops (I do these with tagatelle pasta and vodka sauce with frozen spinach and peas)
32g protein – 8 TJs Chicken meatballs (in the fridge section) with brocolli and Rao’s or white linen – chicken 32g
30g protein – 6oz salmon – I eat this a lot with whatever
Its not the cheapest diet but it works and its easy to track. The petite pois from TJs are insanely good and are high in protein. 2 cups is 12g of protein. If I am running short I do 2 cups of peas, 2 cups of lentils and throw some dressing on top. Its 52g of protein less than $10 for the meal.
If you are struggling with 50g, what helped me was to add a protein block to the meal. I started with grilled chicken and worked my way towards fish and beans. Lentils are great but chickpeas and kidney beans are good too. Always check the nutritional content of lentils because it varies a lot depending on the variety.
go for it
thank all of you!!
Anon
I manage around 100 per day and do it by always eating protein. Essentially all meals or snacks are centered around protein. My breakfast is a protein smoothie or cottage cheese or eggs and sausage, my snacks are cottage cheese or Greek yogurt or turkey wraps, lunches and dinners center around tofu/chickpeas/fish/chicken. Never only carbs (that is because I am trying to balance my blood sugar in addition to eating more protein).
Anonymous
I really struggled with this too, but am pretty regularly around 115-130g daily…
– prioritize it first thing in the morning. Grab a Fairlife shake for breakfast, a DIY egg wrap with 30g protein, and you’re already at 60. Have a dinner and lunch with at least 30g each and you’re at 120.
I try to limit whey powder to only one thing a day, but I’ll either grab a protein bar, make a smoothie, add it to yogurt, cereal, or oatmeal… and then there’s all the ninja creami hacks with whey powder too.
make-up recs
I just need a couple basics, and haven’t bought any make-up in a shockingly long time.
Looking for a simple colorless brow gel, and eyelash gel? I have very full brows/lashes but they need taming. Trying to stay away from too thick/gloppy products.
Thanks
Anon
I love elf’s eyebrow gel
Anon
Maybelline Great Lash clear mascara.
anon
Maybelline Great Lash clear mascara.