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Thursday’s Workwear Report: Tartan Tie-Neck Blouse

A woman wearing a green-and-navy plaid long-sleeved top and navy pants

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

This tartan blouse from Ann Taylor is a fun way to wear a little plaid to the office. I love the navy-and-green combo, and the tie neck is a fun way to accessorize without having to think about it.

If you really want to lean into the green color, Ann Taylor has some fabulous coordinating pants, or you could really lean in with a full suit.

The blouse is on sale for $53.70 (originally $89.50) at Ann Taylor and comes in sizes XXS-XXL and XXSP-XLP. 

This top from Lauren Ralph Lauren is a nice plus-size option; it's $155 and available in 1X-3X.

Some of our latest favorite secretary blouses for work in 2024 include ones from L'Amour Vert, Quince, M.M.LaFleur, and White House Black Market.

secretary blouse with a tie neck detail for work
Quince (exact)
secretary blouse with a tie neck detail for work
White House Black Market (exact)
light blue secretary blouse with scarf detail at neck
L'Amour Vert
A woman wearing a white and red long sleeve tie-neck polo top and dark denim pants with red belt
J.Crew

Sales of note for 12.5

416 Comments

  1. I have nieces going to U of Arkansas and U of SC next year. What are the cool spirit wear stores for those schools? I’d like to get them a Xmas gift that is college-related (or a gift card) because they are so excited. They have had rotten home lives as teens with hot mess divorced parents and 3 new half-siblings in diapers. They have never had a lot of fun and very girly things for themselves because money is tight.

    1. I can’t tell if you mean South Carolina or Southern California, but I work on campus at an SEC school. If you have a larger budget, the popular thing right now is the lululemon x school collections, and you can either call the campus bookstore or the local lulu store to figure out where it’s carried. Smathers & Branson has some cute key fobs in the collegiate partnership!

      1. I assume South Carolina, because as an alum of the other USC, I truly do not think I have seen anyone refer to the University of Southern California as U of SC.

      2. Concur. I work on a Big Ten campus that has a lulu collaboration, and the stuff is very cute. It’s in the campus bookstore, so maybe try the bookstores at both schools?

        1. My alma mater sells the lulu collab on line through the bookstore. I wish my daughter’s college had a lulu collab because it is indeed very cute.

          1. No LLL collar for Arkansas though. What is a good place for gifts for there? Sometimes there are local places with cute outfits in school colors, etc.

    2. I’d get them a shark hair styling kit, the dryer and blow out attachments. Us southern gals do our hair.

    3. I love that you’re doing this for them!

      I live in a different southern state. The college-age women in my city seem to be very into getting dressed up for football games. I’d probably do a gift card to Ulta or Sephora for makeup purchases. I’m hoping other people have more fun ideas.

    4. As the mom of a college freshman I strongly concur with the lulu spiritwear suggestion. My daughter would also have been very excited to get a PB Teen gift card to pick out LoveShackFancy dorm linens (which are much less expensive than the dresses, ha).

    6. Judging from my U of SC niece’s IG, de rigueur going-out wear is a short white sundress and cowgirl boots. I haven’t seen her in one piece of U of SC wear, though every other pic is something sorority related. Is your niece rushing?

      Both of my nieces went to SEC schools and enjoyed decorating their freshman dorm rooms within an inch of their lives. They both appreciated Target gift cards for that reason.

      1. The girls will most likely want or even need to wear college sweatshirts or tees to high school during the remainder of their senior year. There were several events at my daughter’s high school to which students were instructed to wear shirts representing their college or military branch.

    7. You are a good aunt. As the mom of a current college student and as someone who went to college from a chaotic home, I’d also encourage you to make yourself available as a support system for them if you have the bandwidth. Invite them to visit over breaks, text to see how they are doing, show up for family weekend if you are not too far away, attend their performances or games if they have any, visit to take them out to dinner, etc. A surprisingly meaningful thing one of my daughter’s aunts did was to make a big deal of putting her on her phone’s “ring through even if set to do not disturb” list so she knew she had someone other than her parents to contact if she got into a jam. Her local aunts come to her events when her dad and I can’t fly in, and another aunt and uncle host her for solo visits. It’s so good for teens to have a caring non-parent adult in their lives, especially during the college adjustment.

  2. I’m always starving in the morning. I eat dinner on the later side, probably around 7 or 8, and I’m not hungry after. But when I wake up in the morning and start WFH at 7am, I am ravenous. 2 boiled eggs has proven to be a good breakfast. I think cereal or granola or a greek yogurt isn’t enough. What are some heavier but still healthy breakfasts y’all do?

    I’ve always been a breakfast person but I think starting work early has made me more of one.

    1. Two boiled eggs is 156 calories. That’s your go-to breakfast when you’re “ravenous?” I need 500 calories minimum to function, more if it’s an active day. If you meant to type more and didn’t, like that you want sides for those eggs, I like the classic toast with butter or a breakfast sandwich and a latte. I aim for carbs, fat, and protein.

      1. Well it keeps me more full than the greek yogurts. The other go to was toast with peanut butter. Both with coffee.

          1. That’s a good idea. All the foods I’m already used to preparing and like.
            You may have been sarcastic, but this is what I needed to hear / help thinking through.

          2. I totally was being snarky (it’s still early where I am!), but genuinely, all of the things you eat sound like components of a breakfast that will keep you full. You just need to put the components together!

            I just had breakfast, and it was two links of chicken sausage, a slice of peanut butter toast, and some raspberries. I try to check the boxes of protein, fat, and fiber in the morning, and I should feel satiated by this breakfast for several hours. Maybe focusing on those three things will help you, too!

        2. Are you having full fat Greek yogurt, or just Greek style? Mine is 10 percent fat.

    2. What really helped me feel less ravenous in the morning was cutting alcohol and sugar at night (I was a big ice cream eater, and it took many years to realize I feel much better in the morning on nights I don’t have dessert!).
      As for breakfasts, I like having protein and fat incorporated. Breakfast burritos are a go-to.

      1. This is really interesting. Last night I didn’t have alcohol, but I did have a square of chocolate

          1. 8:20 here– yes, I was more “half to full pint of ice cream.” I think it led to overnight blood sugar issues.

          2. Fair! I definitely do notice that I am hungry after I drink in general. And there are weeknights when I have a cocktail and then I’m hungry the next day – both alcohol and sugar

    3. I have no appetite in the morning but try to choke down food with lots of protein and fiber. My latest favorite is baked oats with protein powder, chia, and blueberries; overnight oats are also good. I’ve also done eggs with chicken sausage, and there were years where I had about 4oz of grilled chicken breast for breakfast every morning.

    5. I was thinking the same thing about number of calories. I also wake up hungry and have to eat right away but only really want carbs first thing in the morning so I usually have cereal or oatmeal and fruit for first breakfast, and then have second breakfast or a very early lunch a few hours later after I deal with email, work out, and shower (I WFH, so usually just before 9 am but it can vary depending on my schedule). Second breakfast might be peanut butter and an apple on whole wheat toast, avocado toast with tomatoes and baked tofu or tempeh, a breakfast burrito with scrambled tofu, veggies, and black beans, a wrap with pesto or hummus and falafel and veggies, soup, or something else I have leftover, plus maybe a superhero muffin or another semi-healthy baked good. I have the components for these all ready to go so they only take a few minutes to assemble and heat.

      1. Okay this sounds similar to my schedule. I think I need to do things like the breakfast burrito or wrap.

        1. I also have 2 hard boiled eggs for breakfast but it is definitely not a humblebrag situation. It is a time-is-of-the-essence situation, there’s a whole day to get to!

      2. Ugh I didn’t want to have to meal plan breakfast as well as lunch but here we are.

        1. You don’t have to meal plan anything. You’ve already listed multiple breakfast options. Just put all of them on your plate at once. Or just pull a Gaston and eat five dozen eggs — you won’t be hungry after that!

          1. True! Idk why but I usually buy like 6 eggs at a time – I should just make sure I have enough eggs/toast/peanut butter/fruit for the week at the beginning of each week.

            I think the other part of this was at one point I was eating oatmeal every morning, and it wasn’t filling me up so I was like what’s the point. The protein makes a big difference too.

          2. Eggs last ages in the fridge. Check the dates and buy at least a dozen. Oatmeal plus two eggs could be a good breakfast. I am 100% fine eating the same breakfast every day once I’ve found one that works.

        2. My husband is really good at this. He starts the day with tea and whole wheat toast. Then mid morning he has a Greek yogurt. He will have a kind granola bar with the yogurt if extra hungry. He’s way better at maintaining his weigh than I am and not having to fight it all the time. He also gets 30-45 minutes of cardio every day because his doctor told him to do that, so he does. The man is a mystery.

          2. Maybe so but I know plenty of men his age who do not maintain their weight, including most of his friend. He just has a really disciplined/compliant personality.

          3. The 45 mins of cardio is fantastic for calorie burning which is why he won’t be gaining weight. I run an hour 3-4 times a week and its about 500 calories each time.

            Data shows that after children are born, men have about 4 hours of free time a day compared to women who have about 30 minutes. This is why a lot of men have 45 minutes to spend on exercise and their stress levels do not get as high as ours.

      3. 2 eggs is a fine breakfast though. It has the right fats and proteins and won’t annoy her blood sugar like oatmeal or toast. It’s good to get someone out the door and working for a few hours with a healthy appetite for lunch. Re the greek yogurt, are you doing whole milk yogurt? Low fat yogurt won’t fill you up.

    7. For extra-calorie oatmeal, I do a a couple big scoops of greek yogurt + honey + nuts (walnuts and almonds are go tos, but don’t sleep in salted pistachios in your oatmeal – different and delicious).

    8. I don’t want to eat first thing so I have a protein shake with veggies and fruit. That keeps me from eating sweet carbs. I’ll have something more substantial later.

    9. I’m responsible for breakfast while my husband gets the kids up and ready.

      I aim for 2 eggs per person (scrambled, over easy, or with tomatoes or some Rao’s marinara), some sort of carb (grits, overnight oats with seeds, toast, or muffin), and some sort of fruit. And milk. It takes about 10 minutes. The eggs take the longest, the other stuff I prep while making the eggs.

      I’m comfortable until about 1pm. I try to eat lunch around 12:30 ideally, but half the time work gets crazy and I’m hangry by 2-3pm. Then I really have to eat before I get snippy at people.

      1. This sounds reasonable. Ive been doing the eggs with trader joes chili crisp –
        not actually that spicy, but flavorful

    10. Avocado toast with a slice of tomato and a handful of arugula under the eggs. Fat, fiber, protein.

        1. I love avocado toast (to type, I am an elder millennial) for breakfast. I’m still making homemade sourdough with my pandemic starter, so a slice of that + avocado mashed with garlic and onion salt with a fried egg in top, fruit on the side…mmmmmmm. My 8 year old has gotten obsessed with it, and now makes it for both of us!

      2. I like to use those little single-serve cups of mashed avocado that are sold in the refrigerated produce section. So much more reliable than fresh avocados and less hassle to prepare, and you aren’t left with half an avocado turing brown in the fridge. I butter the toast before adding the avocado and sprinkle some Everything But the Bagel seasoning on top.

    11. I am a 5 meals a day type person, especially when working from home. I usually have yogurt with berries and flax/chia/wheat germ/nuts for “first breakfast” and then a hardboiled egg with toast or a banana+pb a couple hours later.

      1. I do a Cookie & Kate “healthy muffin” for first breakfast and Greek yogurt for second breakfast. I can’t stand anything cold first thing in the morning.

    12. The Shalane Flanagan superhero muffins are great morning fuel. There are a ton of variations but I prefer the original carrot-zucchini recipe or the apple version that is most similar. I make a double batch, freeze them, and defrost overnight on the counter or in the microwave as needed.

      Another breakfast I like is a frozen protein waffle, toasted and topped with nut butter (pistachio butter is sooo good if you can find it) and a light drizzle of honey.

        1. Kodiak Cakes, in the freezer case. If you have time and a waffle iron, make a double batch of the Cookie & Kate oat flour waffles and freeze them. Bonus points if you use buttermilk. Soooo good.

        2. We get the Kodiak power waffles. I don’t usually eat them, myself, but my kids love them

      2. +1 to superhero muffins. I also like the apple ones, and the pumpkin ones, and the lemon chia blueberry ones.

    13. I have Kodiak oatmeal made with milk with flax and chia and fruit. I also like Greek yogurt with flax, chia, granola, fruit and honey.

  3. Can we talk about ways you are using AI tools to help your work and life? I just used chatgpt to plan a vacation for this spring, and found it remarkable helpful. Starting prompt was “Please suggest vacation locations in April for a family with 3 year old twins, which can be reached on a night train from x”. I’d love to hear ideas for how else people are using it.

    1. I do a lot of archival work and the character recognition has gotten really good, so it can take a screenshot from an old article, transcribe it, and insert paragraph breaks, etc. Sometimes it goes rogue and tries to improve a text, but it saves me actual days than transcribing manually or using another OCR tool.

      I’m also using it to plan teaching. If you clearly outline constraints (number of students, type of room, length of session), it does a really good job creating workshop scenarios.

      In general, I use it for things that I can fairly easily do, but will take me more time. Ie. generating survey questions for an event, analysing survey responses, etc.

      1. +1 to surveys/graphs/charts. I saved myself probably 10-12 hours of work last week by asking ChatGPT to summarize the responses from a 20-question survey, give me the data, and then put it into pie charts.
        I’m an elder millenial who has never been that great at PPT decks so I am grateful that AI tools are saving me a lot of the hassle of making the data look pretty (which I’m not good at) vs. explaining and understanding the data (which is where I add much more value).

    2. Redrafting letters to my son’s school, writing questions for my book club, writing intros or closeout paragraphs for non-work analysis, improving feedback, creating citations (this was a 50/50 chance of being correct), and also vacations within X hours of my location for kids – just like you :).

    3. I used ChatGPT earlier this year when I was job searching and got stuck figuring out how to word stuff on my resume. I would reword what it gave instead of using it verbatim.

      1. I mostly use it to reword things, or help me find that word I’m trying to put my finger on, or suggest titles/subject lines on a theme.
        I used to visit thesaurus.com all the time, but I feel like it’s gotten drastically worse lately.

      2. I did this as well for my resume, and I also asked it to suggest different types of jobs I should apply for based on the experiences on my resume.

    4. I’m an avid ChatGPT user and am now starting to branch out to the more specific AI tools, like MindTrip to plan a vacation

    5. I know someone that uses ChatGPT to create prompts for journaling. I also use it to come up with recipe ideas. We have a kid with some food allergies, so it’s helpful to ask for meal ideas that specifically exclude those their allergens.

    6. I have created a custom GPT at work called “Anon’s emails”. I “fed” it a bunch of my emails so it knows my writing style, and it’s very good at standard responses (it get a certain type of request and need to send out 10 questions to determine how to assist, and it does it with the necessary tweaks). It’s also good at making complex emails more concise/more or less formal, and I sometimes ask it “make me sound less irritated with this person who keeps asking the same thing over and over”.

      2. Ooh that’s so smart! I get the same questions over and over and I end up sending a grumpy “Check the course guide!” to the 10th person who asks.

    7. I have used it to help plan outfits for various occasions, which I’ve found really helpful. I’ve also used it as a starting point to building a travel itinerary.

    8. A professor I know uses chatGPT to write the first draft of the wrong answers for multiple-choice exams. She says it saves her a lot of time.

      The most useful application of AI on my projects has been reading in PDF documents that are similar but not identical in format and extracting key variables.

      My husband has tried to use chatGPT to plan dates and travel with comical results. It likes to suggest restaurants that are permanently closed, and once it categorized 10 miles on the freeway as “walking distance.”

    9. I’ve used it for recipe suggestions, sourcing small bike frame manufacturers in the US quickly, drafting a letter to a company that royally screwed something up, and information about hunting season(s). It’s faster than me wading through google results and of course when it really matters, I confirm externally.

      I am going to start using it for travel – interesting!!

    10. I use MIcrosoft Copilot to help with formatting when things aren’t working right, or there is something I think Word can do but I can’t figure out how. Example–I wanted to delete all the tables in a document without having to delete each one individually. Copilot wrote me a macro to do that and told me how to execute it (which wasn’t even a thing I knew you could do). I use ChatGPT to help plan vacations and for wording on things like condolence cards, thank you notes, etc.

    11. Not at all. I think it’s weird smart people are just allowing a robot to tell them what to do. ChatGPT doesn’t know anything, it just puts words together in a way that sounds good.

      2. It doesn’t even sound good, though. Between the rise of ChatGPT and the fact that high schools no longer teach essay writing, there is a whole generation of college students who will graduate without knowing how to write a coherent paragraph.

      3. The thing that worries me about AI is that you don’t know what it’s leaving out and why, or where it got its information. The AI summaries of topics on Google can be OK, or they can be not quite right.

        1. So much this. I work in a pretty niche field. So much of what it suggests is just outright wrong or gibberish. And the person using it for survey writing kind of astounds me. I’ve tried all sorts of prompts and get really awful suggestions. About the only thing it’s good for is recommending ways to reword survey questions. And even that will sometimes ignore real basic stuff–like properly structuring a Likert scale. I weep for how much misinformation and disinformation is being generated by users without enough knowledge to recognize the gaps and errors.

          1. I think it is going to be another century before AI is capable of performing the type of knowledge synthesis we are asking of it, and it’s going to need to have its sources restricted to reliable ones. At present ML can be more useful for closed-ended, repetitive tasks.

      4. Yeah, I am not a luddite but I find it really disturbing how many otherwise smart people are relying on AI to an extent they would never have relied on random google search results, for instance. I don’t worry about it taking my job, rather, I worry that it is going to make people who are incapable of discerning fact from fiction or who are no longer equipped to evaluate the merits of whatever it presents to them.

      5. It doesn’t even usually sound good. ChatGPT is a garbage writer, but I guess so are a lot of people.

      6. +1 Using AI for simple tasks is not a good use of resources – save it for complicated stuff! The computing power and cooling for the big computers are terrible energy and water drains .

    12. My boss uses it daily to spit out garbage content that he expects us to share with members. I hate it with a fiery passion.

    13. I serve as a pastor in a church and recently purchased an AI device called Plaud. I use it during our monthly leadership team meetings. The device records the meetings and prepares surprisingly accurate minutes from them. Everyone on the team has agreed to the use of the device, and if we are going to discuss anything sensitive/confidential, we turn it off. All I have to do after the meeting is do a little cleanup work (editing the spelling of people’s names, etc.) and it saves a ton of time, particularly since no one ever wants to take minutes.

    14. I use chatGPT to write messages to my high conflict ex husband. It gets the job done in less time and its easier to edit than write from blank screen.

    15. I’m using some software for work that has a terrible support site. I’ve used AI to get me started on how to get things done in the software. It usually points me in the right direction without me having to sift through badly written support articles.

    16. AI transcription of voice recordings has worked pretty well for us, although it gets specialized terminology wrong and sometimes has trouble distinguishing among speakers with similar voices.

    17. Travel, tone policing, summaries of work I’ve written. I’m taking a free online class in prompt engineering to refine its responses.

  4. I’m in a terribly negative state of mind. Not just the elections although that’s a big factor, but everything else, and I’m right now at an international conference where I feel I’m meeting everyone with a negative attitude and bringing my and the collective vibe down. Other than repeating positive mantras to myself unsuccessfully, ideas on how to at least come across as a more positive person? I used to be one!

    1. A note that I read this on this site, but it’s good advice – you need to play a part for this conference. So, you’re not Jane, you’re Janelle, revered subject matter expert and relentlessly optimistic person. Janelle is able to positively meet her peers and eloquently discuss conference topics. Janelle doesn’t get upset over small things – she’s a calming presence.

      Then, you know, decompress at night in the hotel.

      1. I like the play a part thing, honestly that’s how I survive at work. In real life, I am Anon, a quiet, introverted person who does not like conflict. At work, I play SuperAnon, a bad@ss corporate attorney who does not take any nonsense. SuperAnon is a role, but it’s become second nature to me at this point, I feel like an actress on a long term sitcom or something.

      2. I second this. I once read Beyonce adopted a stage presence alter ego (Sasha Fierce?) to overcome stage fright. That clearly was effective. I used a version of this mental device myself for giving academic presentations. I think the key is to have an item of dress that signals the alter ego (mine is glasses and a silk scarf)

    2. It will help you to get more specific about “terribly negative.” Are you sad, angry, irritated, despairing, unhappy, depressed, burned out, grieving, lonely, isolated, tired, . . etc.? Are you selfish, complaining, entitled, immature? Are you suffering, hurting, or in physical pain?

      Then apply some kindness, humility, maturity, and compassion to that specific area.

      The positive mantras probably aren’t doing anything because they’re not actually addressing what’s going on with you under the surface.

    3. My life got a lot better when I acknowledge that I have terrible seasonal depression every November. Not necessarily helpful for you at an international conference, I get it, but just throwing that out there in case it helps. Vitamin D supplements, a sun lamp, and lots of walks at midday are the key for me.
      Also, I try to tune out the “doom and gloom” people a bit. There are a lot of terrible things in the world, but I like to “look for the helpers”. Is anyone suggesting anything actually productive, however small? Hang out with those people. It’s really easy to say everything is bad (it is!), but the people I admire are the ones who say “here is how I want to be part of a solution”.

    5. I wonder if you could reframe this as what is your “job,” vis a vis your fellow conference goers. I’d say your “job” is to help them feel at ease, that you’re interested in them, seeing them, and looking to appreciate them. Offer any compliment, and if you can’t come up with a sincere one, then try to find something they’ve put effort into. “You’ve really given us some interesting points to consider – thank you.”
      At worst you might come across as ingenuous, or flirtatious, but to my mind that’s better than the negativity.
      These are rough times, and travel brings its own stresses. Good luck!

    6. You’ve gotten good ideas, I just want to tell you you’re not alone. I feel like Eeyore. I’m trying to schedule things to look forward to – checking out a new shop, reading a new book, etc. It helps a little. I hope we both start feeling better soon!

    7. Recognize that the pain of the elections is likely to feel particularly acute because of the setting you’re in. I know when I travel, it feels like I’m representing the “American.” And that’s really tough right now when so many Americans have really let you down. The pressure is not going to be as intense when you’re surrounded by others at home. You just need to get through the rest of your time there.

    9. So I’ve gotten really into history podcasts in the last week and I am reminded that the history of our country (assuming you’re from the US) and our world is neither rosy nor linear, nor were the US founding fathers universally great people, and that there have been some serious bumps in the road. This is helping me to reframe what is going on now.

  5. A ski question.

    My daughter is 12, almost 5’2, about 105lbs, and wears a women’s size 8.5 or 9 shoe. She is not done growing and hasn’t gone through puberty. I’m about 5’9 and if she tracks to her growth curve she’ll end up around there too, maybe a bit shorter.

    She needs new ski boots. When we went to our local ski shop this weekend, they tried to sell us (or rent us) kids boots. Her last pair were hand-me-downs from a neighbor but were adult boots. Am I crazy to think she belongs in adult boots? She is the size of a petite adult woman, uses an adult size bike, wears womens pants (usually a size 0 short), and nearly all of her shoes are adult sized vs junior (technically i think a women’s 8.5 is a youth 6.5 but most don’t go that high).

    Her boot size (25) comes in both child and adult. She doesn’t race, but she’s a very experienced skier and I think she belongs in a stiff boot and her height is fine for an adult fit. I kinda think the bro at the ski shop didn’t really know what he was talking about and is just used to renting ski and boot sets for the season but I want a gut check before doing anything too stupid.

    1. As long as they fit well, are appropriate for their intended use and she likes them, it doesn’t matter. I’m not a skiier, but this happens all the time in my sport of cycling. There is womens and mens and kids. I’m in an in-between size where I’m usually a men’s small, women’s medium sometimes kids XL. The item that works best for what I need at the price I’m after is the one I buy.

      1. OP here- there is a difference between kids boots and adult boots- kids boots generally have more flex and are lower cut, so they hit in a different place on your calf. But…she’s 5’2″, not 4’5″.

    2. First question – unless you are made of money, do a season rental for a 12 year old, not a purchase

      Second question – If the guy couldn’t explain /why/ he recommended a child’s boot instead, he’s not doing a good job, and I might go back and see if you can just get someone else to help you. But there are legit reasons to stick with a kids boot & flex is one of them. Weight and strength are the big components, in addition to skiing ability – but she should be able to flex the boots while standing in them in the shop. If she can’t, they’re too stiff.

      There are some other components that might be in play – it’s possible that the kids boots are lower volume & she needs that or hit at a better spot on the calf, etc. The fit matters more than the men’s/women’s/kids label. Most important is that they are comfortable and not too big. Did she try on multiple pairs?

      1. +1 on the seasonal rental. No one I know actually owns kids skis (and I live in a location where everybody skis). If the rental isn’t the right size you can return to the shop and exchange it at no cost. Buy her skis when she is done growing.

      2. Op here, I am both vaguely made of money and also have reasons for buying her boots, not the least of which is I have 3 other kids that will wear them :). She also has skis and bindings she loves, so renting just boots isn’t that much of a cost saver since the shops won’t rent just boots. Also, she is 12 and only has about one possible shoe size left to grow.

        She did try on the kids boots and they hit lower on the calf and my daughter said they felt silly/cheap and were way too flexible. Her current ones are adult and her ski bindings are adult. She skies hard and fast and is very comfortable on steep icy trails, moguls, and in the woods. She doesn’t usually ski double blacks because I won’t go with her, but she could!

        1. to me it sounds like the seasonal ski shop hire doesn’t know your kid as well as you — or she — does, and you should discount his advice accordingly.

          1. Seems like she knows what she wants/needs and you can afford it, so why not buy the adult boots? She’s an adult size and a small adult weight and sounds like an aggressive skier.

        2. I don’t get why you think her feet are going to stop growing if you think she will grow another half a foot. It’s pretty normal for feet to keep growing long after people stop getting taller

          2. yeah an 8.5 or 9 shoe is pretty big for someone who is 5’2″ meaning she probably will grown taller but her feet might be close to done growing. I’m 5 feet tall and wear a women’s 6.

        4. also a skier with kids, and I find that actually knowing equipment is definitely not a prerequisite to working at our local ski shop (this is especially true in my non-ski town). I do my own research online, and go in with an idea of what I want for me/the kids. I find that the information being shared by the workers is usually just reciting whatever is written on the box.
          I do buy nice gear for my kids, and they pass it down until it gets sold. I have not regretted it yet.

    3. Not a skier, but as an adult her height, I sometimes buy kids clothes because they’re way cheaper than the adult versions of the same thing and fit better. I assume the cost issue also applies here and the sales guy didn’t want to be accused of trying to make you pay more if a cheaper alternative exists?

    4. I would say she needs adult boots. I was a similar size in middle school which is when I made the transition from kid to adult.

    5. This takes me back to when I was that age and skiing double blacks (out west, not east) with my father but constantly contending with ski shop guys questioning me marking myself as an advanced skier on the rental form. I got my own skis and boots in 8th grade and never looked back. Those skis carried me through racing in college too.

    6. I would assume he’s just giving you standard/generic advice, and buy what I need based on my own and daughter’s judgment.

    7. I think the bro didn’t know what he was talking about. It sounds like your kid needs adult sizes.

      I once had a bike shop bro try to sell me a Trek bike with an adult small frame. Dude, I am 5’9″. My knees are practically to my chin on this thing.

      1. I’m 5’6″ and my bike shop guy told me I could try the small frame so I could see how wrong it was, but said flat out he would not sell me a bike that size. He was right.

    8. I think you should trust your gut, but came here to say that DD is 5’2 and a size 9 in shoes (she’s 11), and we have a really hard time with adult shoes because her foot is very narrow. If she could still wear kids shoes (most don’t come in that size), I’d prefer it because the width seems to fit her better. So there could be something to it, but I’d have her try both and see.

      1. That’s funny because my advice would be the opposite. A women’s boot will be narrower and may even come in multiple widths. A kids’ boot will be wider because kids’ sizes are unisex.

          1. Some are but some come in men’s and women’s. Some of the possible differences are foot shape, calf size and where the boot hits on the calf (in addition to being shorter on average, women on average have shorter Achilles’ for their height too). Beginner level rentals at the shop are aiming almost entirely for comfort and likely unisex; but if you’re buying your own and getting them molded, women’s boots are a thing (but not a necessity, there are also men’s and unisex boots with these characteristics)

  6. I think that the windows in my apartment are not fully weather sealed and letting cold air in. What’s the best solution fo this? I saw a product that basically looks like clear tape you put on any seams of the window, that? I also remember using like a puffy insulated tape at one point.

    1. There are small tape things you can put on the seam of the window that help with leaks to some extent. If the window itself is terrible, when I was a student in Canada we would seal windows with plastic. If you buy a kit and use the hairdryer to shrink it, it’s pretty invisible and works really well. It does mean that you can’t open that window for the season though.

      1. +1, plastic sealing is available in a “window kit” (frost king or 3M are typical), you seal around the window frame and leave it in place all winter, after using a hair dryer to shrink it and make it (nearly) invisible.

    4. You can use the window wraps but I found plastic wrap just as effective and much cheaper. You can buy for your window or just buy the huge roll from costco for $15. I had 29 drafty single pane windows and did this to save myself. You run the wrap over the outside frame so you create an air pocket. If you put it directly against the glass it won’t be as effective.

      1. I did this in our dilapidated Georgian flat and finally had a winter where I did not feel like a frozen Dickensian orphan. Strongly recommend!

        1. Although still has to use the double sided tape and that increased the cost so the next year I went back to the kits…

    5. Caulk where the trim meets the wall, then use shrink plastic to cover the entire window (put the plastic over all the seams in the window frame, as close to the wall/trim caulk as possible), and hang heavy curtains.

    6. My mom used to put that shrink wrap stuff over our bedroom windows every winter. It does its job!

  7. Has anyone been to Ireland with kids and want to share recommendations or things to avoid? I will have an 11 year old girl who is too cool for playgrounds and a very active 6 year old boy. My ideas so far include falconry and a sheep dog demonstration. The itinerary is totally up in the air at this point, so I’m happy to hear about any location.

    Also, what kind of accommodations work best for families? I’ve heard B&Bs are very popular. Do they tend to have rooms with two queen beds or adjoining room options? On another trip in Europe I found 2 queen rooms to be almost nonexistent in hotels.

    1. We stayed at the Conrad Hilton in Dublin and got connecting rooms, each with two full size beds (maybe queens, can’t remember). If you look at their website, they price the connecting rooms as a family rate so you don’t have to pay the full rate for two separate rooms. The rooms/bathrooms were nice, not huge but definitely a good size for Europe.

    2. We stayed at the Trinity City hotel in Dublin and they had rooms with a queen (I think?) and a twin on either side which worked well for a family of 4. The Viking bus/duck boat tour was a hit with my 11 year old, we got rained out for falconry, Dublinia museum was fun, tea at Shelbourne was yummy!

    3. We rented a condo in Dublin. It was a small 2 bedroom and was a perfect home base. Kids were, I think, 12 and 13 on that trip.

      They really liked our drives around Ireland. Their favorites were Galway and the Rock of Cashel. We stopped in various towns/cities to see whatever touristy things we needed to see there, then lunch, and always back to Dublin by night. The kids developed a favorite restaurant in Dublin by the end of our one week stay. Yes, it was a pizza place. But it was good pizza. In Dublin, they liked Guinness, the hop on hop off buses, the city center with lots of shops to poke in and out of. They had little patience for the Book of Kells, though I loved it. Lots of walking and walking around Dublin, over the bridges, and getting lost on little out of the way side streets.

      My husband’s family are originally from Tipperary so we enjoyed seeing the family name all over everything there. Years later a great aunt no one had ever met popped out of the Facebook woodwork and was mad that we hadn’t come to visit her when we were in Ireland!

      My maternal grandfather’s side of the family, according to my mom, were from Cork, so we made it there and wandered around but didn’t feel much of a connection so headed back to Dublin for the day. Then when we got back to the states and showed my mom pics. She asked why we went to Cork. I said, because that’s where grandpa was from. No, she said, he was from Kerry! Which we hadn’t visited. This is the most typical My Mom story ever.

    4. We visited last September with kids then 3 and 5 and had a great time! We stayed in a “family suite” in a hotel near the convention center, with 1 queen bedroom and a 2 twin bedroom. Kids particularly liked day trips to Malahide castle and the Dublin zoo. Also don’t underestimate how much kids love 2-decker buses…

  8. I have been dreading every NYTimes Breaking News story that has been popping up on my phone. But this morning’s headline about The Onion buying Infowars and working with Everytown and the Sandy Hook parents to remake it has brought a smile to my face. It is a reminder that people and groups are still doing what they can to push back against awful things/people like Alex Jones.

    1. When I read this here I thought it was a joke . . . .omg no it’s real! That’s hilarious and amazing

      1. It is kind of sobering that the most sane thing going on right now is that the fake news is taking over the fake-er news.

    6. Obligatory plug for Knowledge Fight- it’s a podcast by 2 comedians who’ve spent more time than anyone breaking down why alex jones is wrong and awful and they manage to make it entertaining.

    7. I sent that to my friend – they replied “well I’m sure Trump will have an appointment lined up for Alex Jones soon.”

  9. for those of you are are skincare junkies/med spa addicts – what is your favorite treatment you’ve had and why?

    1. IPL! It removed dark spots (even removed a red spot) and my skin looked radiant. Budget for 2-3 sessions.

      1. Agreed. I did have to repeat my course after pregnancies because of melasma, and it doesn’t always work for melasma, but it did for me. Also my place now offers broadband light (BBL), rather than IPL, and that seemed to be even more effective for me in fewer sessions.
        Also, Botox(/Dysport).

    2. I think it’s best to go in with a specific issue/concern that you want to address and knowing the limits of medspas and OTC treatements. Otherwise you wind up spending $$$ on stuff that either doesn’t do much or can be done for much cheaper.
      My personal list of best value treatments will look different from everyone as my skin is different. I have melasma, hormonal acne, and rosacea plus I’m in my 40’s.
      I use/used derms for Accutane (only thing that knocked out the hormonal acne for good), Clear and Brilliant (6 treatments got rid of dark spots/melasma that years of Paula’s choice wasn’t touching), Excel V laser for the broken capillaries/redness from rosacea (no OTC treatment will touch these), Botox for deep creases/lines, and Sofwave plus microneedling for collagen production/aging (I don’t like filler).
      I also use a cheap retinol, Asian sunblock, and good Vitamin C cream daily plus a double cleanse and moisturizer. ‘Clinical grade’ facial products are a scam – differin, vanicream, and sunblock are very effective and affordable. You do have to pay up for vitamin c cream but under $100 is very doable for that category.

        1. I follow FiddySnails on IG and test most of what she suggests. My HG vitamin C is by Poems from the Lab (indie brand created by Stephen who’s an OG Skincare Kbeauty nerd that I adore)

          1. Not sure if you are the poster that recommended this before. But that stuff is AMAZING. I have tried a bunch of different vit c products and none of them have worked as well. Like I literally wake up and my skin looks glowy. Worth every penny.

            I do agree with the poster above though on knowing what you’re going after. I get dysport injections to deal with forehead wrinkles/lift my brows/crowsfeet but rest of my routine is double cleanse (ponds and vanicream). Add a moisturizer in fall/winter. I had IPL when I was younger to deal with spotting from long-healed acne and it did the job beautifully. If I were to develop melasma or skin freckling or similar discoloration, I would definitely do it again.

      3. Tell me more about Sofwave. I am interested in it for sagging jowls and neck skin, but skeptical of the cost and also the risk to facial nerves/muscles (I cannot risk losing even one iota of control of the muscles in my lower face).

        1. OP – I’ve done sofwave twice now and it isn’t a facelift but it adds a visible amount of collagen/volume. I would classify it as having a similar impact as very strategic/small amounts of filler but without any puffiness/migration risks. I have not done it on my neck.

    3. Lip filler. I never did have much of an upper lip, even as a teen and young adult. I get filler that puts my lips on the bottom side of normal fullness and I love it.

      1. I keep going back and forth about getting a lip flip. Whenever I get novocaine (bad teeth, so, frequently) my upper lip looks SO GOOD. I should just do it.

    5. laser hair removal! So nice to remove the space of my brain that had to ponder what my legs or underarms looked like before putting on shorts or a tank top.

      1. 100% this. wish I would have done it at 20 instead of 40. Will be my daughter’s high school grad gift, if she wants it.

        1. I did it in my 40s and wished I’d done it before so much of my hair had turned gray.

  10. is anyone aware of any volunteer opportunities that can be done at home for a couple of hours a week similar to like writing letters to encourage people to vote or phone banking (in terms of time commitment/flexibility). I’d like to do something but am limited on time and physically being able to go somewhere.

    1. I’m not sure if you’re looking for something political or if something like Smithsonian digital volunteers might fit? There are a few different opportunities for “archiving” or digitizing materials, Project Gutenberg’s distributed proofreaders is another one.

      1. Not OP but being a proofreader is right up my alley, so thanks for sharing!

        (Similarly, I am a grammar nerd and also love copyediting…hoping to turn it in a side gig someday, so if anyone knows of volunteer ops in that direction, I’d love to hear)

      2. Library of Congress has this as well, and I swear I just saw a post about a similar project transcribing handwritten records on one of the national park sites I follow, though of course now I can’t find this.

      3. i guess i like the idea of something political or politcal adjacent to see if I can do something to help us avoid the situation we are in now in the future, but these sound like interesting ideas, so I’ll add them to my list of something to consider

    2. If you can knit or crochet, consider making hats for Knots of Love! https://www.knotsoflove.org/
      This is my second year knitting hats for them and it’s very easy – they provide a list of accepted yarns & pattern ideas, and I enjoy knitting to relax, so it’s a win for everyone.

      I know others who knit hats/scarves/blankets for the homeless in their city, and that’s an option too!

      1. this is amazing that you do this! i have been wanting to learn to crochet, so first need to tackle that….

    3. Lasagna Love if you are interested in feeding people. You can volunteer as frequently or infrequently as you want. You are matched with a recipient, make them a lasagna, and then deliver it (so you do need to be able to go somewhere, but you can set your limit). There are also opportunities to make lasagnas and work with your local coordinators on delivery.

      1. yea i need something i can do at home bc i have two young kids and DH often travels for work. but thank you for the suggestion!

      1. while I know the Red Cross does some amazing things, I have completely lost respect for the International Red Cross after their politicization of the situation in Israel/Gaza

          1. the International Red Cross refers to Gaza as an “occupied territory” and they were supposed to visit the hostages a year ago and that never happened

    5. If I had the temperament and patience, I’d spend more time connecting (by phone) with my relatives who are really misinformed and maybe a bit lonely. It’s a long slog, but I view it similarly to staying in touch with a relative who is in a cult–if they have people they trust on the outside, it makes it more possible to leave the cult when they’re ready.

      I don’t have the temperament or patience, so I won’t, because no good comes from me getting very frustrated with a terribly misinformed elder.

    6. Point of Pride does a letter writing campaign to support transgender folks. Easy to participate in, at any time.

  11. Fashion question! My mom gave me her Harris Tweed skirt suit. I’d wear it as separates. It’s a tan, camel, light blue pattern excellent quality. Very scratchy. For the jacket, just pair with a turtleneck and jeans? And for an a-line skirt with an inverted pleat, turtleneck sweater and maybe boots or heeled loafers? I’m loving the vintage vibe but want not to look too costume-y.

    1. Yep, think Princess Kate on the weekend.

      And as someone about to wear a vintage Pendleton tartan for Christmas, did your mom pass along a slip? Because it is a necessity! 😆

    2. Way back when I worked with a woman who visited Scotland and came back with a Harris Tweed skirt suit that she wore to work all the time. One of the very old secretaries supporting our group told her she looked like a sofa. From that point forward coworker wore the suit as separates. The secretary was out of line but it really was better that way.

      The look I liked with the skirt alone was a sleek turtleneck + skirt + tights + tall boots.

      1. I think every office has a secretary like that. I loved our ‘Blanche’. She told you exactly how it is and it wasn’t done in spite.

        I agree that tweed needs to be worn as separates, which is why its a good business casual option. Tweed jacket with black pants or jeans. Tweed skirt with plain top (turtleneck or sweater), tights and shoes/boots. Its perfect dress down Friday attire for my office.

  12. Op here, I am both vaguely made of money and also have reasons for buying her boots, not the least of which is I have 3 other kids that will wear them :). Also, she is 12 and only has about one possible shoe size left to grow.

    She did try on the kids boots and they hit lower on the calf and my daughter said they felt silly/cheap and were way too flexible. Her current ones are adult and her ski bindings are adult. She skies hard and fast and is very comfortable on steep icy trails, moguls, and in the woods. She doesn’t usually ski double blacks because I won’t go with her, but she could!

    1. I know that this was a mis-thread, but I LOL’ed at “I am vaguely made of money.”
      I love this phrase to describe much of this board’s commentariat.

  13. We will be spending 3 days in London right before Christmas with my husband, my parents, and my 2 year-old. I realize it’s not the most toddler-friendly destination, but we are stopping on the way to another location. Any advice on what to do? I have been before so I have seen all the major sights/museums. Specifically, any good restaurants that will be reasonably toddler-friendly? She is generally well-behaved, but she’s still 2.

    2. We had so much fun in London with my 3-year old. There are SO MANY birds everywhere (Kensington Gardens, St. James Park, the Tower of London) and he was completely taken with them. Also the dinosaur tea at the Ampersand Hotel – he’s still asking to go again 6+ months later. The transport museum, Kew Gardens, and Diana Memorial Playground were all hits as well. We just went to restaurants early, around 5:30, and it was all fine; we weren’t the only family with a young child anywhere. Our favorites as the adults were Dishoom (mango lassi + mango kulfi –> time for adults to eat all the spicy food we wanted) and Rovi.

    3. London is amazingly child friendly. Good places to eat for children are everywhere. The museums are free and the food sold in them is good. My children like the food at the V&A in particular. Other good places for children are John Lewis cafe (sloane square department store is quieter), M&S cafe (its in the store) and Pret. If your child is a good eater wagamama and nando’s are both very 3 year old friendly.

      1. If you go to the V&A, the gift shop is one of the best. Great place to pick up last minute gifts if you need them (or things for yourself). Natural History is also a great one with kids.

        If you guys like Chinese food, I think Yauatcha is pretty child friendly without being “kid food”, especially the City location. Agree with the poster above about Dishoom too.

  14. Oh yeah, go to a different shop or go back and get someone else to help. Definitely tell the bootfitter she likes to ski hard & fast (as opposed to just “is experienced” — a lot of non-racer teens are more into terrain/park imo & then you want a more flexible boot, even for a strong skier). Tell them her DIN too; it’s not a direct correlation but can help them calibrate to what kind of skier she is

  15. does it matter what protein powder one uses? like is one really better than the other….. i’ve been eating yogurt with protein powder and chia seeds for breakfast and using an old bin of protein powder my teenager bought at some point but i’m nearing the bottom…. what should i replace it with?

    1. There’s many thoughts on “clean”, or vegetarian, I’ll skip those. If you’re into clean, that’s for someone else to answer.
      For me, the one I’ll use is the one that’s decently priced, decent tasting, decently available, and decently packaged. I tried one in a zip top bag, and the bag was awful. Never closed right and made a mess in my pantry. Another was grainy.
      I get Vital Protein powder (same brand but different product from their collagen). I stick vanilla in overnight oats and chia pudding, I like it.

    2. For me, the biggest issue is the flavoring and sweetener used. I really can’t tolerate any of that, so use a plain whey protein. I choose grass fed, no antibiotics, etc. because I worked at USDA for a while long ago and reading about cattle/dairy production was disturbing and so I’ve just stuck with the “cleaner” dairy where I can but YMMV on that.

    3. Heh I was thinking the same – have never cared much about what kind of protein (although if vegetarian and powder is a main part of your overall protein, you probably want to make sure you’re getting a complete one) but I definitely think taste and dissolvability matter!

    5. I buy whatever one is on sale at Costco and they have all been fine. Some flavors I like better than others, but the current one we have mixes well in my morning coffee and helps me get some protein in since I don’t like breakfast. I think it is optimum nutrition but we also get the organic one in the tub (orgain I think.)

  16. I am exiting my childbearing years and am a schlump! My clothes don’t fit, I haven’t worn makeup beyond mascara and foundation in a couple years, and I haven’t done any skincare involving anything not pregnancy/breastfeeding friendly in five years. I have money and the desire to level back up to reasonably put together, but obviously not a ton of time. (They’re all still pre-elementary school).

    Where would you start in terms of small, manageable changes to start to feel like a more put together woman? I have absolutely no regrets about how I’ve spent the last five years (I did not sacrifice self-care in general; I just prioritized other forms that were more helpful in those years, like running and hiking and reading), but I’m ready and excited to start rebuilding this part of my life. I just could use some input on where to start!

    1. All you really need is a tinted moisturizer with SPF, mascara, blush, and maybe a lipstick and eye brow pencil. For skincare, I’d consider a vitamin c serum in the morning and a retinol at night.

      1. Please don’t count on your tinted moisturizer solely for SPF. No one applies enough to get any real protection.

    2. A retinol prescription, a great haircut, a complementary lipstick, and new bras that fit would be my first stops, as someone a few years ahead of you!

      1. This is a great list!

        I’ve done 2/4. Still look for that perfect me but better lipstick.

    3. Do you have a good friend or a sister? Have them come over for an afternoon and be ruthless in your closet. Remind yourself of what you love, what fits best, and try to get different versions of those, and get rid of what doesn’t work.

      I found myself holding onto things under the illusion that they served a purpose. After actually putting them on in front of a full length mirror, I realized they looked terrible and would work in no scenario. A clean closet was a great first start. You can do this yourself, too, it’s just harder to hold onto identified blocks of time when it’s just you.

      1. I got an eyebrow tint for my birthday and really liked the results. Unfortunately, it just doesn’t last long enough to do regularly.

        1. Tint your own brows at home! It is super easy, much easier than lashes (which I also tint myself).

          1. Would you consider microblading or nanoblading? I LOVED having mine microbladed, now I never have to think about them and look more put together. One of the best self-care choices I’ve made!

    5. I’d up the glam factor and get some less comfortable shoes. For me that’s hair and makeup, highlight or color your hair and personally, I like eyelash extensions, they make getting ready so fast and are better than a facelift for looking pretty. I also feel much more polished in a real shoe with a pointed toe.

    7. Start with underwear and work out to coat. Its amazing to go back to wearing things which are not polyester! Beauty wise go to Blue Mercury or similar and have them help you with your skincare.

    8. Daily sunscreen, prescription retinoid, and moisturizer all applied to your face, neck, and chest. Add blush and sheer lipstick (if you’re not a black honey fan I love the Dior Addict sticks). Plus ELF highlighter on weekends. Earrings and necklace every day. I’m still seeing a lot of delicate jewelry. Balayage (it grows out better than traditional highlights if you can’t get to the salon often), a good haircut, and spring for the fancy salon brand serum or oil. If you have the time and budget for no chip manicures I find pretty nails make a huge difference in looking put together. For clothing invest in a great looking daily coat and purse.

    9. Try all sorts of br*s, p*anties, c*amis, etc., until you find the kind that work for you, make you feel the way you want to feel, make you look the way you want to look in just them, and make you look the way you want to look in various types of clothes. Then purchase the quantity needed for laundry week for your right-now reality – none of this “buy two and I’ll rinse them out before bed nonsense”, promise me!
      Comfortable, well fitting foundation garments can help make outer garmets fit better too.

    10. If you wear glasses, getting the right frames is the single thing that can have the biggest impact on how you present yourself.

  17. Does anyone drink instant coffee? Do you recommend it? I’m the only coffee drinker in my house, and I often waste entire pots of coffee. I have a Keurig, but I don’t love the waste. Wondering if instant coffee can fill the gap.

    1. The instant coffee packets from Trader Joe’s are my go-to at work, when I can’t or won’t make a full pot.

    2. If you don’t care too much about taste, just start the switch to cold brew coffee. I drink cans (one per morning) these days, but other people in my life get the glass/plastic cannisters of cold brew. It saves time and wasted coffee.

      If you do like taste and have a bit of time in the morning, a small french press or a bialetti (not looking up the spelling) could work.

    3. I’d get a pour over setup, a small French press, or a Moka pot before doing instant, personally. (They make very different tastes of coffee so figure out which you prefer).

      My Goodwill always has at least two of the three options above available for under $10, so the entry price here should be pretty low!

    4. I’m the only coffee drinker in my house and you can take my nespresso out of my cold, dead hands. I’d dump the keurig for that – I always found keurig coffee gross and instant is on par with it. Nespresso is my daily joy.

    5. The Cafe Bustelo instant coffee works for me. Mix 2 tsps coffee with sugar (if you take it) and mix with a little bit of hot water, enough for it to dissolve. Then add more boiling water and milk as you like it. This improves the flavor – I’m not sure exactly why, but it works

      1. of all the things i waste in my life throwing out unused coffee is pretty low on the list….

    9. I love the AeroPress for a single-serve! But if you want instant, I like the Starbucks Via. It’s good enough to drink black (for me).

    10. Yes I drink instant black. Its fine. I buy Nescafe gold from costco for about $16. Its 10000x better than keurig.

    11. I recently got a coffee maker that does small quantities very very well – it’s the Oxo 8-cup. It has two brew baskets – for small amounts you are basically using an insert and brewing directly into your cup. It turns out that my generously-sized favorite mug is exact three of their “cups.” I love the flavor of coffee from freshly-ground beans, and being able to make less than a full pot has been wonderful. (I swear this is not an Oxo ad….)

    12. I use a non-Keurig coffee maker (Ninja brand) that will make a single cup of coffee with grounds/filter, so I recommend that!

    14. I’m also the only coffee drinker in my house – I switched from Keurig to a pourover setup and have been very happy!

    15. It’s very expensive, but I have a DeLonghi Magnifica coffee/espresso maker that grinds the beans and makes one cup at a time. I see it’s on sale right now at several places.

    16. I have a ceramic pour over thingy. I put it over my mug, add filter and coffee, pour on boiling water, and drink. Almost as instant as instant but tastes way better.

      1. I do something similar, but I just use my stainless steel kitchen funnel to put the filter in, no extra equipment.

    17. Pour over or aeropress are ideal for this. Either takes less than three minutes start to finish; I make my coffee and let it filter while making my breakfast. No wasted coffee.

      You can also just make less coffee in your current pot. Even if it’s a 12 cup pot, just make 2 cups (or whatever amount you actually drink).

    18. Get an Aeropress if you like coffee. Instant coffee is not good, but I also think Keurig coffee is generally not good either so maybe I’m a snob.

    20. instant coffee while teaching in South America was my gateway coffee. NesCafe. Maybe switching to instant will bring the rest of your house to the dark side.

    21. I would get a mini french press which makes about 1.5 cups of coffee. Bodum, IKEA, and the like all sell mini french presses. Added bonus, you can easily bring them on trips!

  18. I have injured a tendon my dominant arm. (My doc sent me to physical therapy and I start in December.)

    In the mean time can I go to a salon once a week and pay to have them wash and condition my hair? Is that a thing?

    1. I broke my elbow in my dominant arm and got may hair washed twice a week (and braided because it was too long for me to manage with one arm) until I could use that arm again.

    2. Yes you can – there’s a whole “blowout” industry out there, too (think DryBar). But, when I broke my leg and couldn’t get in to my tub for a while, I was able to negotiate a 10 pack of wash and blowdrys with my normal salon. It was clear I wasn’t the first they’d dealt with in this predicament.

        1. Weekly to monthly. I pay for two per month but they accrue. I have curly hair but switch it up and the blowout looks more professional for longer. Get a scalp massage add on if they have it. But the answer is yes, it’s a standard blowout and you can get them at your normal salon too if there’s not a drybar around. Most will or already have Black Friday specials for packages.

    6. Several years ago, I had shoulder surgery on a Friday. To get ready for work on Monday, I went to a Super Cuts type place, and they did a good job for a reasonable price. My stylist admitted that she would have charged at least twice as much if I had gone to her.

    7. After I had shoulder surgery I went to just like a mall salon to do that. Anyone should be able to wash hair. If you have a training school, that would be even better.

  19. This is one of my busiest work stretches of the year, and I have very little flexibility until this is over. So of course this is when my DH is traveling for pleasure, not work. It’s a group trip, so I realize there was some give and take on the dates, but I’m pretty annoyed by the whole thing. Help me to not be resentful? I have called in many favors to get my kids where they need to be this week, but it has added to my already high stress levels. I needed more support, not less.

    1. Helping your spouse keep an independent life is good for the marriage and your family. Keep the bigger picture in mind and also plan a girls trip that you get to look forward to.

    2. I agree with the comment that helping your spouse have an independent life is good for the marriage. I think it’s OK to feel resentful too. It sounds like the resentment is mental displacement of your stress though, not a feeling that he’s actually done anything wrong here. I think it’s pretty normal for spouses to do some of that mental displacement and as long as you keep it to yourself and not a longer term kind of resentment it’s no big deal, just a coping mechanism. Hang in there and serve/have a dessert! I have definitely served dessert when solo parenting to buy myself some kid good will.

      1. OK, you’re probably right that this is partially stress displacement. I need to think on this a little more.

    3. Yeah my spouse decided to attend a week-long seminar. Technically not pleasure, but also completely optional. I’m feeling a little cranky about it so I’m planning a weekend of my own in January. I’m with you, but we try to let each other have some space so I roll with it but make sure I get some time for myself too.

    4. Agree with the others. Also, I use my spouse’s trips as a reason to take a break from the routine and rules. Screen time? Fine. Want to skip that activity? Fine. Pizza for dinner? Fine. It adds an element of fun to our lives to have a vacation from every day life.

    6. Yeah I would be annoyed about this too. When I was married my ex husband travelled extensively and I was on my own with 3 children holding down a full time job. We have no family in this country. The extra he earned went on hiring the help to cover his duties while he was away.

      You need a firmer boundary on trips. Fine go on a trip with your buddies, but organize the childcare before you go the burden isn’t on you in your busiest time of year at work. You aren’t a SAHM so if he wants the benefit of a 2nd income he needs to support that.

    7. I would also be super annoyed and going forward, I would put a firm blackout for spousal travel during this time.

      And yes, he totally owes you when this is over.

      And I totally agree witih Anon at 11:02 below, to relax the routines at home while your husband is gone. When my husband traveled for work, my kid and I ate boxed mac n cheese and “cardboard pizza” from the grocery store, and had a grand old time.

        1. Yeah but if you’re pretty enough you can get away with that sort of thing… ;)

  20. Has anyone tried Ultherapy, which purports to be non invasive skin tightening treatment using ultrasound?

    1. I’ve only done sofwave which my derm and other’s have said is a less painful option with less risk of fat loss. I like it a lot but I’d shop around/wait for promos as I refuse to pay more than $800-$900 for it.

  21. Not surprised the 4B movement is gaining traction in the U.S. – it’s been influential in its homeland of South Korea. Given the state of the male dating pool, not to mention the loss of women’s rights, this could actually take off. Anyone know any women who are doing this?

    1. Can someone explain what the 4B movement is? I keep seeing references to it, but don’t really understand. Is it women just stopping dating? Or more?

      2. Yes it’s a boycott on dating (and gardening, marriage, and having children w/men, those are the four Bs).

        There’s also been some exposing of what’s wrong w/men that is motivating the movement.

        1. I guess I unintentionally joined the movement. I never found anyone I wanted to marry when dating, so decided to have a child by myself in my late 30s. With a toddler at home, dating isn’t even something I think about doing.

      3. The four components are do not date, do not have sex with, do not marry, and do not have children with men. It was begun by South Korean radical feminists.

        1. This seems very anti-men instead of anti-patriarchy. Marriage, raising children, and having sex are great parts of my life. I would not skip out on those things for any political reason.

          Living single and childfree is better than being a relationship with a terrible man though.

          1. Marriage and kids are fundamental to the patriarchy. I get it, I’m married with a kid too, but I don’t kid myself about it. If I were to lose my husband I doubt I would have much luck finding anyone else as great as he is.

          2. The patriarchal systems in Korea are much worse than they have been here, at least recently. Please hold.

          3. I dunno…I have always thought that if all women refused to sleep with men in states with abortion bans there would be a rush to amend state constitutions to ensure abortion rights. And just for safety reasons, if I lived in a state with an abortion ban I certainly wouldn’t want to take even the slightest risk of getting pregnant, even with a good husband and a wanted child.

          4. It is only anti-men instead of anti-patriarchy if those men aren’t actively upholding the patriarchy. Given the state of our nation, they clearly are.

          5. No… pro-lifers just laugh when women don’t garden absent abortion rights. “You mean there was a way to prevent abortions all along? Wow!!”

        1. I was just looking this up! My fear is of course sex will still happen. It just won’t be consensual.

    2. Not aware of this movement, but I do know plenty of women who prefer to be single than in a bad relationship. I have a pretty good marriage, but it’s far from perfect and I have often thought that if end up splitting for whatever reason, I would much prefer to stay single. Men are so exhausting sometimes. And the statistics on the political divide between men and woman are disheartening.

      1. I am fortunate to have a good marriage, but if anything ever happened to my DH, I don’t think I would get into a new relationship. The men out there seem very undesirable.

          1. Yep.

            I have a daughter in college and she constantly complains that the boys there are mostly not suitable dating material. Or they put on an act of being suitable and then say they just want a good time, not a relationship, and are offended when she says that’s not what she’s looking for. And this college is a place that is likely to attract a higher concentration of suitable young men than you would find in the real world.

          2. Teenage boys are just dumb. Even when I was at college in the early 2000s that was the attitude of boys. And many of them matured into fine men. In fact, my dumb and heartbreaking fling in sophomore/junior year became my boyfriend senior year, and then my husband. We’ve been together 17 years/married 12 and have four kids together, and he’s an equal partner (if not more – he cooks dinner and does the dishes every night, among many other things).

            Yes, Gen Z is a different beast…but 19yos are basically still kids in terms of immediate gratification and long-term thinking

    4. Not intentionally – I have always been child free by choice, I am DONE dating (men are exhausting and annoying), I don’t have a very high $ex drive so not seeking it out, and I have never cared about marriage. So *shrug*

    5. I mean I don’t sleep with men but that is because I cannot find any I like who also like me. I think it’s a silly movement, finding love and companionship and a healthy intimate life are treasures of life. It’s sad to not have those things.

      1. +1. I guess I appear to be part of the movement, because I refuse to settle. But I really do want to find a partner. It’s just that non of the good ones seem interested in me.

        2. If they aren’t interested in you, then they aren’t a good one for you. I hope you find what you’re looking for!

        1. Then doesn’t this just feed into the Right’s theory that people aren’t born gay, but decide to be?

        2. I don’t think it works that way. You can have a baby without a man but a straight woman can’t change that.

          1. I am not sure how you imagine babies work but… there’s definitely a man involved. You can have a baby without being in a relationship with a man though

        3. I’m straight. I am actively trying to have a baby without a man but I can’t just be gay. I wish I could!

          1. Hey, don’t knock it ’til you try it. The number of women I know who came to the pan/bi/lesbian piece of the spectrum through some just-try-its-fun is not a small number!

          3. Seriously, there is no gender category more despised from all quarters than straight women.

            If the left truly believes that tr@ns people are “born that way,” why can’t it accept that straight women are also born that way?

      3. +1 I am open to dating but I am not going to be sleeping around or compromising on my standards. I already have children and don’t mind if he also has children, but at this stage of my life, my children need me to be there for them.

        An awful lot of men who are open to dating someone in my stage of life are doing so because they want childcare for their visitation time. That does not work for me. Even more of the men open to dating someone in my stage of life are single for a good reason, my ex husband being one that falls into this category.

        1. > An awful lot of men who are open to dating someone in my stage of life are doing so because they want childcare for their visitation time.

          Boy did you say a mouthful there.

        2. Yeah, I would not bother dating at my age because if a man is not married at this age there is a reason.

          2. I think this is pretty toxic. We wouldn’t say this about women. Maybe they too haven’t found their person yet.

    6. I consider myself a feminist, but this is . . . extreme and does not seem productive But sure, don’t date and f* men you don’t like. I’ve been practicing that my whole life and haven’t married or procreated so maybe I am way ahead of this game without knowing or advertising it. But I guess I got soft in my late 40s and found one I like quite a bit so betrayed the movement

      1. I would agree with not doing any of those with subpar men or men you don’t like . . . but I think that if people find someone they do like why let a movement stand in the way of that.

        Maybe also just not pressuring people, realizing that its a supply problem in a lot of ways?

      2. I too am happier with my husband than I was alone. So no, I won’t rob myself of that joy to make a point. Obviously if you refuse to consort with men who make your life worse, more power to you.

      3. I don’t pretend to be an expert in this at all, but my uneducated understanding is that 4B makes more sense in Korean culture, which is, to generalize, much more rigid with gender roles, societal roles, expectations for women, and is much more homogeneous. I can understand how it would be appealing to reject it all, vs having to constantly fight against what is ‘normal.’

        1. Yep. I’m once again amazed at the women here who criticize something without bothering to understand it. For even a 30 second Google search.

        3. A lot of men being terrible is true in USA though. It’s partly just the decision not to settle and not to keep looking.

      4. I think 4B makes more sense in the context of traditional Korean culture, with rigid gender norms for men and women, and a generally homogenous population. My (uneducated) thought is that I can understand why this could appeal to someone in that place who would like a more modern marriage/family, but would be fighting constantly to achieve that, notwithstanding actually finding a partner who is willing to do that as well. Might as well reject all of it and find happiness in a different way, among women who are supportive vs men who will likely never get it.
        In the USA with such a variety of options/ways of living, it does read somewhat extreme.

        2. I agree with this. The culture is so different in the US. I’m already in a committed and longterm relationship with a wonderful man. I don’t have kids and we’re not married. I’m not sure what it accomplishes to break up with him when he has no more say in my state’s gerrymandering and crazy laws than I do.

          1. No one is pressuring you to join this movement! A lot of women are w/men who enthusiastically voted for these laws and are aghast right now.

          2. For sure! And I agree those women should reevaluate their relationships.

            I suppose I thought this was a prompt to talk about the movement in our lives! So sorry I didn’t express the experience you wanted to hear about.

    7. I think it’s important to opt out of BAD marriages, bad gardening, and competitive parenting and the expectation that we stop existing as people once our children are born.

      My soon to be ex was bad in bed and never wanted to fix it. I opted out of gardening and we are ending our marriage. If a loving, giving, and sexually generous man comes along, I’m not going to punish both of us for the sins of the man I married.

    8. I am considering this, at 40. Since the election, I have been thinking a LOT about the things I do for the male gaze. One example, men have complimented my long beautiful hair my entire life. So I have an appointment this Saturday to donate it, and get a pixie cut.

      Going forward, if a man compliments me on something I will consider elimination of said thing. Because e f f these straight guys. If I am doing something they like, I am possibly failing myself.

      1. I kind of get this, but what if you get a compliment about something you like for its own sake, and not because you are trying to impress men? Seems like a sad state of affairs for you if this leads you to deny or punish yourself just because a dude likes your style.

        1. I think this is satirical.

          But for real, I have a pixie cut because my husband thinks pixie cuts are hot.

      2. This is extreme and self-punishing. If you want a pixie, get a pixie. But if a man likes your shirt, getting rid of said shirt is irrational and unnecessary. I agree with the idea of not going out of one’s way to make yourself look good for men, but I dress for myself.

      4. The irony is you will likely spend a lot more time and energy and money getting that pixie cut to look good than you do now on your long beautiful hair.

          1. Very true.

            I finally grew out my pixie and have long silver hair. Love that I can put it up/back or leave it down.

            No man has ever complimented me on my hair, of course. Mostly young women do.

    9. It sounds like the female version of the Incel movement. And like the Incel movement, it has the capacity to radicalize the chronically on-line in ways that are not healthy for them or for society at large.

      Look – if you do not want to date men, have intimate relations with men, have children, etc., then by all means do not do any of those things. You do not owe it to society or men to sacrifice your own happiness and mental and physical wellbeing. But if you do, then not doing it because you are making a political point is cutting off your nose to spite your proverbial face.

      And I am going to be super honest here – every time I read some sweeping generalization about “ugh men”, it pisses off the part of me that has a father, husband, son and brother I love and who I think are generally pretty great humans. I assume that most of the people who say it also have men they love so try not to take it literally but it is not helpful to dismiss half the population. It makes them (and the women who love them) dismiss a lot of the valid points the speaker is trying to make.

      1. It is the opposite of the incel movement. The incels want to force women to be with them. The 4B women are opting out.

      3. No, this is not comparable to male incels. It’s linked to the Korean #metoo movement and scandals involving men coordinating over recreational and voyeuristic violence against women (actual not fantasied). Predators and their enablers and the markets that serve them are obviously everywhere in the west as well.

      4. I have a husband and son I move, but am glad they both acknowledge that they both started the race well ahead of where women started it, and continue to have help along the route, whether they asked for it or not. If they didn’t acknowledge that, they wouldn’t be “great guys.”

      5. No, this is ridiculous. It has nothing to with r*pey incels who want to hurt women and often do because they cannot get women to be interested in them. Women in 4B do not harm men and are not involuntarily celibate. This is their choice as a response to male oppression.

      6. I want to live in a world in which men understand that they don’t have a right to one sided gardening, a wife to care for the home and unilaterally sacrifice for them, children from a young and fertile wife when they are 50, etc.

      7. I think you mean the MGTOW movement which has some overlap with in cels but is not the same.

    10. Basically all my pan/bi/queer friends are only engaging in lesbian relationships. If my marriage happens to fail I’m going to do the same. I want an equal and I’ve never met a man who is capable of that.

        1. Unfortunately celibacy is the option for gardening if you’re straight but the other 3Bs can be resolved otherwise. I actually know some women in a platonic marriage. They have a kid together they are married in every sense, they contribute to finances and the household equally.

          1. I think a platonic marriage is an absolutely terrible idea. You may think you are never going to fall in love, but what if you do? Marriage was designed to be a romantic and economic partnership, not just an economic one,

          2. “Marriage was designed to be a romantic and economic partnership, not just an economic one” lol, it most definitely was not. The romantic aspect and priority of romance is relatively new in the history of marriage.

  22. Recommendations for a travel destination for MLK weekend? We will be coming from DC and ideally want to go somewhere driving distance, and have a toddler who will be 16 month old in January.

    We were considering NYC, but (1) dealing with a car seat and stroller when taking cabs or the subway doesn’t sound fun and (2) I didn’t see any great things for a toddler to do. The destination doesn’t have to have unique toddler activities (our main goal is to get out of DC for inauguration) but don’t want to spend a ton to do the same stuff we do at home.

    1. Philly could be fun. Or you could go in the other direction and go to Richmond or Charleston

        1. Yeah Philly is great – there’s two really good kid-friendly museums (Franklin Institute & Please Touch). And if you want to be away from Trump fans, it is obviously a super blue corner.

    3. I recall a January weekend with my daughter when she was 17 months. It was wonderful; she was so into the crowds and people watching. We walked for miles in cold but when I wanted to go back to the room, she negotiated for more outdoor time. Its still one of my favorite NYC trips.

    4. Your child might be too young, but perhaps Great Wolf lodge in Williamsburg? Or Ocean City off-season at a motel that might have an indoor/heated pool?

    5. Possibly Coolfont “resort” in Berkeley West Virginia — it used to be a lovely cabin-style mountain destination, then it closed, went private, and recently was purchased and reopened as a resort. Hiking is the main attraction, but they may have some spa facilities if the parents would like to trade off child care with each other.

  23. Heading to London with husband and kids for a few days in December. Trying to figure out what to pack for myself. I think I’m going to bring my Blondo Darren boots (taupe suede, waterproof) to wear with jeans/pants/on the plane. And then one pair of black knee high suede boots for dressier occasions. I know these will be a pain to pack, but I really want to feel fabulous on this trip. For coats, was thinking about my quilted Barbour jacket (layered with sweaters underneath) and then one longer wool coat (again, to wear on dressier occasions with the knee high boots). Looking for suggestions for the wool coat, since this is a gap in my current wardrobe. Black or camel? Knee length or longer? Buttons or belt? What are you seeing women in London wear? I’m only 5’4 so I worry some of the longer styles just look frumpy on me.

    Should I also pack a pair of sneakers (black sambas?) or is that overkill? We’ll be doing a lot of walking, but the Blondos are pretty comfortable.

    1. I’m a light packer, so would never do any of what you’re suggesting, BUT! Figure out what your itinerary is, and if fabulous is the look, make sure you aren’t actually planning on long lines at the museums, walking, or damp parks, but rather that you are visiting the kinds of places that will have a place to hold your nice coat, will give you good opportunities for photos, and where you are going to feel like your look fits in and isn’t just added bulk.

      This seems obvious, but worth saying, for good photos, get to places early–fewer people and more space to explore good settings.

    2. It’s cold in London in December. I’d do two coats, one casual and knee length like a puffer for day time and a dressier one for evening or day time fabulous, like tea somewhere lovely. I always take sneakers on every trip, there’s always something you just want to run out and do that doesn’t require a boot and having a casual option is something I’ve never regretted. My TL/DR dump the Barbour for a warmer casual longer coat and take the sneaks.

      3. Erm no. It was super mild and humid last December in London. A Barbour would have been far too warm.

        OP, take it from an actual Londoner. Do not pack until a week before you leave and have seen the weather forecast. The tube is a furnace so you need a coat that you can strip off easily. If it is wet, leave your Sambas behind, you’ll slip easily and break an ankle. Don’t really need heavy waterproof shoes in the city, your Blondos are fine. Your fancy suede boots will be perfect for dinners and the theatre.

        1. Londoner commenter back, having missed your wool coat comment- honestly, I wouldn’t bother unless you have multiple fancy dates. Your coat is checked in practically as you enter most restos and theatres. The Barbour and a light Uniqlo-style puffer should suffice. We wear all kinds here.

          Make sure you have a hood on one of your jackets. And if going to museums, make use of the coat check – they’re super popular for a reason and close out really quickly!

    3. If you are looking for a wool coat, whether or not you bring one to London on this trip, I suggest you consder the Cocoon coat from Aritizia.

  24. What is the most simple way I could use a French press? Right now I have an electric kettle.

    Could I buy a french press, ground coffee, and use boiling water from the kettle? Or do I need a different kettle that will get me 200 F water?

    I just want the simplest way to make decent coffee for 1 person at home. I am not very picky.

    1. I would get a Chemex. It’s idiot-proof and less messy than French press, plus tastes amazing.

    3. I just boil the water, and if it’s a little over 200, so what. The main thing I find makes a difference is grinding it a little less fine/more chunky than I would for drip.

      2. +1. If you are not a coffee snob, the distinction of 200F vs 210F water won’t matter. Preground coffee should say on the package if it’s ground for espresso (very fine), drip (medium) or french press (more coarse). If you use medium, it’s not the end of the world. If the flavor is too strong, try shortening the steeping time. You can also give the boiling water 90 secs to cool down before you pour it in. You can also pre-wet the grounds with room temp water, which my husband thinks is better for the flavor. I let him geek out about it because he is not preachy. When I make the coffee, I skip those steps and I don’t taste a difference. I hate people who pretend that their one way to prepare coffee is ‘the right way’.

    4. I just use a kettle. I get my best coffee by bringing the water to a full hard boil, pulling the kettle off the burner and letting the boil subside for a couple of seconds, pour enough water to just cover the grounds and bloom the coffee, stir with a chopstick, wait a few seconds, then add the rest of the water and let it brew. Or when I cannot be bothered I just take the kettle from the burner and let the boil subside and then pour the water and let it brew.

        1. I think she’s talking about a French press, which by definition filters the grounds into a mass at the bottom as you use it?

          1. Yes, this is for when I use a French press. I do the fiddly version if I’m using good beans and not running late.

    5. I would buy a bottom of the line Mr. Coffee pot, which has nothing programmable on it. We have used one for years and like it. We are not picky and like easy.

    6. I’d consider an Aeropress instead of a French press. I can’t stand cleaning French presses and the Aeropress is the same general concept, except the grounds pop out in a puck instead of having to clean them out of the carafe.

      2. I too think an aero press is superior but I literally injured my shoulder repeatedly using my aero press, which was a bit embarrassing to explain/pantomime to my doctor. It requires a good amount of force from an awkward position.

    7. I just use an electric kettle. I’m not so particular about coffee that the 10 degree difference in temp makes a noticeable difference!

    8. I just wrote about my love for my Oxo 8-cup coffee maker above in answer to the other coffee question today. I think it might be a good option for you – it makes great coffee, in smaller batches. I use it to brew 3 “cups” at a time, which is how much it takes to fill my regular large coffee mug.

    9. Non responsive but imho THE answer: MoccaMaster One Cup. If you get it be sure and search the paperwork for the tiny little tool for making sure the drip hole in the basket is clear, and diligently use that tool at least every second or third brew.

      1. The basic plastic pour-over from Melitta makes the very best coffee and is the easiest and least messy way to make it.

  25. I’m certain this has been asked before. I want to start trying to be loyal to a hotel brand when possible given work travel is ticking up. Mostly traveling to major cities across the country, 3-5 nights/month.

    Marriott, Hilton or Hyatt? Which will give me more bank for the buck in loyalty or status? The dream is to flex some of this for personal travel with my family. I know Marriott has more properties globally, but wondering if there’s a reason to go to with one of the other brands. Any seasoned travelers have thoughts?

    I won’t be able to use the brand exclusively as I do need to apply a “reasonableness” theory to booking if I choose a more expensive hotel. For example, traveling to NYC in a couple weeks and Marriott branded hotels are $200 more than others, so I may not be able to go the Marriott route.

      1. Same. I have generally found Marriott to be cleaner than Hilton, and I can almost always find a Marriott chain where I need to travel.

    2. I prefer Marriott because I feel like there are typically more options in every city, especially when you consider the reasonableness theory – my office has something similar, and in many cases I’d rather stay at a lower star Marriott for the same price as another hotel in order to add to my points.

      1. Same. I can always find a decent Marriott whether I’m traveling to a big city or a rural area.

    3. I do Marriott, and the real road warriors at my job are Marriott people to the core.

        1. Same. Everyone I know is Marriott and a United, but I live at a United hub and travel to one > 75% of the time.

        2. Just an anecdote, I have a work friend, and we have managed to remain friends, who is a nerdwallet/super loyalty miles guy who is perfectly willing to inconvenience everyone else by insisting he stays only at Hyatts and flies only America Haha. Things like wait around at destination airport for me until my American flight gets in (which had a single stop because it wasn’t hub to hub) and then we can share an Uber, but I will need the Uber to drop me at my separate hotel before dinner. 🙄 I most often say no these days but occasionally say yes and am Annoyed.

    4. I go back and forth between Marriott and Hilton and still manage to rack up enough points for free rooms on both. I would do one of those over Hyatt as they both have more options.

    5. Marriott probably has the best coverage, but it depends where you’re going. A tip with some Marriot hotels in NYC is to book for longer than a week, and then after booking adjust your stay to the dates you actually want. Some of them have different rates when booking longer length stays that don’t adjust if you shorten the duration. Or at least they used to.

      Another thing to do, if you have a lot of travel coming up, is to call and ask for the “platinum challenge” or similar. If you stay X number of nights in a certain time frame they give you status and then other chains will sometimes match status. I haven’t really traveled much post-Covid, but most of the big chains used to do something like this and I had top status at multiple chains from it.

    6. Marriot for sheer availability. For my money, though, Hyatts tend to be nicer. Hilton doesn’t even make the list, even though I nominally have an account. 99.9% of my work travel is in the continental US.

    7. Another vote for Marriott. There are a lot of subreddits on this, but my personal experience is Marriott is the easiest for my work travel (I don’t do a ton of personal travel). The rewards are pretty good and there are also frequent promotions to pick up extra points.

    8. I’ve been a road warrior for most of my career and I’m a Marriott person, although I also have accounts with the other 2. For me the appeal is that there’s almost always a marriott wherever I’m going, in whatever part of town. I’m also a United person, but I both live and work in different united hub cities.

      1. Oh, and I haven’t paid for a vacation in years- including a 2 week stay in a Maldives overwater bungalow. The points and other perks are magic.

    9. Marriott and Hilton should cover your bases. But I built up a passel of memberships by simply joining the loyalty program for any hotel I checked in when i was traveling a lot — Accor, IHG, etc. All of them. It doesn’t cost anything, and you will quickly figure out which hotel group is the one you end up using most, so you can then steer you reservations toward that brand (while complying with your work travel policies and so forth) to build up the points.

  26. Q for the Zepbound/vial users in the group – do you have a lot left in the “single use” vials after one use? I’ve always done compounded tirzepatide (and always had left over) but I figured it was a weirdness of compounding. This is my first week using the Eli Lilly stuff and there’s more than half left in the vial. (Definitely no air bubbles and pulled to the correct amount.)

    1. I’m using compounded, but have you checked the subreddits for this question? I wouldn’t be surprised if there was extra left over.

    2. Yes that’s expected. If they only put the precise amount in, you wouldn’t be able to draw up enough.

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