Corporette.com

Updated: Oct 31, 2018 372 Comments · by

Frugal Friday’s Workwear Report: Wrap Look Top

The Personal Shopper (TPS) |

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Faux Wrap Top: The Limited Wrap Look TopOur daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. This top reminds me of the surplice tops that used to come out every season in Vince Camuto — it's a super flattering, easy look, and looks great by itself or with a blazer or cardigan. This one from The Limited comes in five colors and is available in sizes for petites, talls, and regular XS-XXL. It's $39.95 full price, but if you buy one you can get 50% off the second. The Limited Wrap Look Top Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-2)

Sales of note for 9.19.24

  • Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September, and cardmembers earn 3x the points (ends 9/22)
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Boden – 15% off new styles
  • Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
  • J.Crew – 50% off select styles — and 9/19 only, 50% off the cashmere wrap
  • J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
  • Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
  • M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
  • Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
  • Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – Anniversary event, 25% off your entire purchase — Free shipping, no minimum, 9/19 only
  • Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
  • Tuckernuck – Friends & Family Sale – get 20%-30% off orders (ends 9/19).
  • White House Black Market – 40% off select styles

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. Phone Bill

    What’s your cell phone bill and what carrier do you use? I’m grandfathered in with Sprint’s unlimited data plan because I’ve had it forever, but I am paying $250/month for both me and my husband’s phone. That’s unreasonable, right? I called them and they said they can offer me 4gb for $140/month. We use about 5-6gb data between us.

    • Anon

      Verizon, with a small discount we pay $115 now for 6gb shared for two iPhones plus an iPad…

      I’ve had verizon for 13 years (since my first cell) and they’ve been great.

      • Ellen

        Yay! I LOVE Fruegel Friday’s and Vince Camuto’s stuff. I am goeing to order 4 of these RIGHT after I finsish this NOTE and hope they do NOT sell out at this price. FOOEY!

        As for the OP, we all now have VERIZON issued CELL phone’s in addition to my own cell phone. The FIRM pays my bill and dad pay’s my own cell bill so I do NOT know how much we pay, but yours does NOT sound that expensive as long as you have unlimited minute’s and unlimited data and a SIMM card included. I tried calling Dad to ask him what he pay’s but he was in Langley VA at a staff meeting. The manageing partner refered me to Frank, and Frank said he would onley tell me if I did something for him. I knew what he was talkeing about b/c he was stareing at my boobie’s so I told him FOOEY and left. FOOEY on Frank for stareing at my boobie’s when he has a wife to stare at.

        This weekend I am goeing to Robert Moses State Park with Myrna and her freind. Her freind’s freind is a boogie border and he will be showing off for her (and us). Myrna says he also has a freind that may be interested in dateing ME, but I do not want a surfer dude. FOOEY! I had enough with Sheketovits. But I want to go to smell the fresh air of the Beach, which is alot cleaner than the stink on 2nd Avenue from the restrunt fans that smell up the neighborhood. DOUBEL FOOEY!

    • Doodles

      That seems high! We pay $182 for four lines (all Iphones) on AT&T and I think we have 10gb. We’ve never gone over that mostly because my husband’s parents (the other two lines) don’t use much data. I also have $50 reimbursed through work off that $182.

    • Sparrow

      We’re with Verizon, two Android phones. It’s around $165 for 10GB of shared data and unlimited minutes and text messages. We get a discount through my company, but I don’t recall the exact percentage. We use WiFi as much as possible so we rarely go over the data.

    • mascot

      We’ve got a Verizon plan with 2 smart phones and one flip phone and and ipad with 12gbs data for under $200/month. Sprint sounds high.

    • Killer Kitten Heels

      I’m on Sprint, and I’m paying $100/month plus taxes and fees for 8 GB shared on two phones – the key with Sprint is to keep an eye on their website for deals, then request a price adjustment every time you see one (I started out paying $180/month for unlimited data on one line and 2 GB on the other, then switched to 8 GB shared for $140/month, then got the $100/month price when they were doing their pre-Christmas sales, all without re-upping my contract). If they won’t work with you, switch carriers. $250/month for 2 phones on Sprint is completely absurd.

    • Cat

      Verizon, two smartphones, we use the 3gb plan because we rarely are out of wifi range/only use data when driving somewhere unfamiliar or in a hotel that charges for wifi. We pay about $110/month after a small employer discount (15% maybe?)

    • meme

      AT&T, $120 for 2 iPhones, 10gb shared data. That’s the price without a new phone installment payment. Could be more if we financed new phones through the carrier. Is that part of your cost?

    • Anonymous

      we pay $150/mo (total including all payments) for 2 phones and that includes the installment payments for new iphone 6s with 64GB and i think 4GB/month of shared data. Not suer on the data part but we never go over. unliminted calling.

      • Boston Legal Eagle

        Same here on the installment payments for two 64GB smartphones here, through Verizon. We have the 6GB/month of shared data and pay about $180/month.

    • Anon

      I use Cricket (low-cost carrier that operates on the AT&T network) on my iPhone 6s ($25/month) and my husband uses Project Fi on his Android ($32/month). One of the best financial moves we’ve made is to switch away from AT&T and Verizon. We’re saving at least $100 per month with no difference whatsoever in call quality, convenience, etc. Project Fi is especially good for international travel – you can do calls over WiFi and it works basically anywhere.

      For all these financial posts lately, I recommend that everyone look into low-cost carriers. I’d much rather pay less for my cell phone than give up eating out a few times per week.

      • Sydney Bristow

        My husband is on Cricket for $35/month on an iPhone bi think that includes 3GB of data but I’m not positive. It might be 5.

        I’m on a non-contract AT&T plan for around $55/month including taxes and fees for my iPhone. I get 2GB data that then rolls over 1 month. I typically only use 0.5GB though so it’s fine. I’m thinking about switching to Cricket if my husband likes it. He just switched a month ago.

        The thing with non-contract plans is that you pay for the phone outright. But the plan saves you money within about a year because of the price difference.

      • moss

        I’ve been on Cricket for years. No contract and it’s $90 a month for 2 phones with unlimited talk and text and 5Gb data

    • Anonymous

      Yeah, that’s high. We are in the process of moving our Sprint, unlimited-data contract plan phones to Verizon for that and a couple other reasons (internet is via cellphone and Verizon is the best tower, company discount).

    • anon

      $300 for 4 smartphones and a tablet on verizon with 12 GB that we never use despite heavy phone usage

    • Edna Mazur

      I know a lot of people don’t like Walmart, but I’m on the $30 or so a month plan (no smart phone) and know they have about a $40 (maybe it moved up to $50) for unlimited. I have it autocharge my cc every month, no contract so I can get out anytime, and the coverage is better than both AT&T and Verizon in my Midwestern experience.

    • Terry

      $30 at Virgin Mobile for 1 iPhone with unlimited talk and text and 1 GB high speed data (then throttling). The plan is supposed to be $35 but I get a $5 discount for having an iPhone. The monthly cost is very low but the phone costs are not subsidized.

    • NOLA

      $65 for one Samsung smartphone with Verizon. Unlimited text, 450 minutes outside of Verizon, 1 GB data (and I never go over despite what I think is using data pretty often). I have an employer discount (12%?)

    • Anon

      We have a non-contract plan with Virgin Mobile. It’s $30 per month per line, and it’s unlimited talk, text, and data. However, after a certain amount of GBs, the speed of the data is cut and it gets very slow. Most months I use primarily wifi and it’s not w problem, but this past month it only lasted me for less than two weeks. Again, with the no contract deal we have to pay for each phone outright…ouch. As a result, we run each phone into the ground before we update. I just updated for Christmas and replaced an iPhone 4 that was 3 years old.

    • Anonymous

      Oh my gosh how is my bill so high? I pay about $110 per month just for my phone on AT&T. I don’t remember how many gbs of data I have, but I recall getting a middle of the road amount – so more than the minimum, but not the highest amount.

      • Anon

        Are you financing your phone? I was thinking my AT&T bill was sky high too ($175 for 2 with 5 GBs of data), but then I remembered we’re financing two iPhone 6s at $30 each.

    • Pretty Primadonna

      I got a Sprint SERO (employee referral) plan years ago. I pay about $70 for an android phone, basically unlimited everything (calls, cell-to-cell calls, text, data, no roaming, etc.). Mind you, this plan started out at around $40 a month with a Blackberry and has crept up over six years. Still, so long as no other carrier can beat this price, I will never leave Sprint.

    • HnH

      AT&T $130 old family plan with 4 lines, but I’m the only one with data (2 gb).

      I recently moved my dad out of the plan to Google’s service for $20 a month so that he can use a smartphone on wifi without the crazy data charges. They charge non-mandatory data fee $10/gb so it’s great for light users who mostly use wifi. Only downside is you need their current Nexus models for the service.

    • EB0220

      I just finished my first month on Google Project Fi and it is awesome. My bill this month was $9.67! I did get a service credit this month because of a problem with the first SIM card they sent to me. Even without the service credit, it would have only been about $35. I was with Verizon for years, but so far Fi is awesome.

  2. Anon

    Any recommendations for an online bank where you can have multiple checking accounts? I really need to start keeping separate accounts for bills, travel, slush, etc.

    • Wildkitten

      Do you need them to all be *checking* accounts? If you’re okay with savings, you can see which one offers the highest interest rate and choose that way. (It’d be like 1.25% vs 1%, not huge interest, but a way to choose.)

        • Anonymous

          I also use Schwab. While they only have 1 bank location, you can go to the brokerage locations and get assistance (like depositing a big check).

    • Meg Murry

      We actually keep separate accounts at separate physical banks on purpose and have the money split into 2 different banks at direct deposit (my employer allows up to 2 different accounts for direct deposit).

      That makes moving money from “bills” to “everyday spending” more of a pain and therefore we aren’t constantly shuffling money around – we only do it when we really need to. The 2 are linked together, so I can transfer from one to another (it takes 2-4 days for the money to be available), or I can physically write a check off of one account and use mobile deposit to put it in the other, or we can go take cash out of one account and drive around the corner to deposit it in the other.

      Way, way back in the day (15+ years ago) Fleet/Bank Boston/whatever their name of the week was allowed you to set up multiple dividers within your savings account – so you actually only had one account number, but within online banking could see multiple “accounts” . I don’t remember if they called it virtual accounts, or virtual envelopes or whatever, but it was a really nice feature. Of course, Fleet is no more, they were rolled into Bank of America, and I haven’t seen a feature like that since.

    • Blonde Lawyer

      I used ING which is now Capital One 360. Very happy so far. There is a high limit (I think $10,000) for mobile deposits too which really helps. You can also do multiple savings accounts with them.

  3. Birth Control

    I’m thinking of going on birth control to see if it helps with my awful menstrual migraines. I’m curious to know what everyone uses as their form of bc and how satisfied are you with it? I tried ortho tricyclen lo when I was in college and loved it. Tried Mircette last year, which my gyno said helps with hormonal migraines, but the side effects were too much.

    • DisenchantedinDC

      I also used to suffer from migraines, but that mostly stopped when I switched to a lower-carb diet. I will still get the occasional one when I am lazy about my eating.

      Started hormonal birth control at age 16. I tried several tricyclins and hated all of them – they made me very moody. What worked best for me was an even dosage pill, which I started at 19 and was on for the next 5 or 6 years. I ended up on the generic of Seasonale/Seasonique – would frequently skip placebos to only get my period once or twice a year. I loved it. My insurance stopped covering it with ACA changes in 2015, and out of pocket was more than I wanted to pay. I tried two more monthly pills (which they still gave me in 3 month at a time fills – I’m still bitter I had to change from my one true pill) that were allegedly the same hormone levels but didn’t like them. Switched to Mirena late last summer.

      • Blonde Lawyer

        I had hormonal issues causing cysts in addition to bad headaches. Not sure if they were clinically migraines or not. I was also on Seasonale or Seasonique, don’t remember which one but it was great.

    • Runner 5

      I’m in the UK so brand names etc aren’t necessarily the same. I’m on Millinette which is a cheap/generic version of the standard pill. I run packs together (no placebos here) to only get a few periods a year. I love it. (I get it free so not sure about value for money)

    • lsw

      Obviously migraines are unique to everyone so YMMV…but I actually switched to the copper IUD because hormonal BC (first the pill, then Mirena) were making my migraines so bad. I had used ortho trycyclen lo and did not mind it for years, but then it was making my headaches worse for no reason after a while.

      Have you considered going to a specific doctor, like a neurologist, for help managing your headaches?

      On advice of a friend, I was using Progessence Plus (which is an essential oil) that seemed to help keep my hormones a bit more in check throughout the month. I don’t use it now that I’m pregnant (and hormones/migraines are allll over the place), but I either found it or its placebo effect helpful!

      If hormonal BC works for you that is awesome, just wanted to give you the anecdote that my migraines (which have a strong hormone component) only improved when I got off all medicinal hormonal adjustments.

    • Anonymous

      I gave up sugar and dairy and that helped my migraines immensely. I also have a Magnesium supplement. Before doing this I was having weekly migraines. Now I have one less than once a month.

      • Anon for this

        This. Also zinc supplement, giving up wheat, giving up coffee….. (no sugar, no coffee) which regulates insulin levels.

    • Anonymous

      Can’t speak to which BC will help with migraines, but I swear by acupuncture for my migraines. It’s been life changing, and it’s covered by my FSA.

    • Anonymous

      Just stopped hormonal BC because I get migraines with aura. I was on it for 10yrs. I started seeing a neurologist 3 years ago and my migraines are SO much better. I take propranolol slow-release every day as a preventative. Specifically for menstrual migraines, my neuro recommends 400mg of magnesium every day, but 800mg in the week leading up to and week of your period. Pull back on the dosage if you have stomach upset. Clinical study, magnesium reduces migraine frequency in 50% of patients.

    • the gold digger

      I have been on the pill for years. I don’t know if it has any impact on my migraines.

      What helps for me is to eliminate caffeine. (Not that I always do.) But caffeine raises the baseline for my triggers, which are glare, dehydration, and low blood sugar.

      Good luck! I figured this out after the neurologist fired me after trying Lyrica, Depakote, and a few other prophylactic drugs on me, none of which stopped the h.a. but which made me gain weight and made my hair fall out. She suggested I try acupuncture.

      The Orthodox Jewish acupuncturist at the drug rehab clinic who was on my insurance list told me acupuncture probably would not help but that I should try eliminating for a week at a time certain foods from my diet. That would have been useful info from the doctor!

    • Anon

      I said this yesterday, so apologies for the continued proselytizing, but I’ve been on the Nuvaring for about 10 years and I adore it. It actually helped reduce my migraines a ton, and it’s a very low dose of hormones, which means I didn’t get a bunch of the other side effects people complain of with various pills. Obviously not everyone has the same experience, but I truly, seriously adore it.

    • Anon 2

      I was on a low-dose pill for about 15 years due to migraines. I second the advice of taking a magnesium supplement. The pill helped regulate my migraines down to maybe 1 per month (vs. 4-6 per month when not on the pill) and I skipped the placebos on the recommendation of my doctor. A neurologist put me on epilepsy medicine (Topamax) for a few years to help prevent/alleviate the migraines. The frequency and intensity of migraines dissipated as I got older. I’m now in my 40s and get maybe one per quarter which is manageable.

  4. Counter?

    Is it always necessary/expected to counter a job offer? Based on my research, the offer is probably on the lower end of the spectrum given the level of the position, but the position is also a big promotion for me and I will need to grow into it, so don’t feel like I can make a great case that I add so much value that they should pay me more right off the bat. It’s 10% more than what I’m making now, the benefits are good, the time off is a little less than I currently have. I absolutely want to accept the job. Should I counter just for the sake of it and then accept if they say no, or just accept now?

    • S in Chicago

      Doesn’t hurt to ask. How do benefits compare in total compensation? It’s easy to underestimate as part of negotiating salary. Although don’t think solely financial. Any perks you want, now is the time to ask as well. I was able to get a generous work from home schedule at a less flexible place by expressing uncertainty over leaving a flexible gig. Anything not covered–phone, fsa travel,etc may also get you a bump.

    • Anonymous

      Eh, this could go either way. I will usually ask because I look at it as money lost over the term of my career. I didn’t counter when I took my current position (which was a massive raise, like 42%) going from nonprofit to private sector, but I was qualified and I regret it now knowing I am making at the bottom of the payscale for my job. I got a small raise this year.

      I think it’s worth asking if they’re flexible – if the leave is important to you, you could consider asking for flexibility on that instead. Usually a company will come back and say, “Sorry, $x is all we can offer, are you still interested?” before they totally cut you. And a company that would totally count me out for negotiating is one I wouldn’t want to work for.

      (I had a company rescind an offer last year because I had a phone call with HR and the manager and asked some questions about work/life balance, etc that weren’t covered in the interview – I would not have accepted, but I consider this a bullet dodged)

      • Anon NC2

        Yes to above. I did not counter in my first job- same as above poster, it was such a bump from my academic pay. I had my manager ask me later why I hadn’t countered, and several years later HR did a company-wide compensation evaluation and voluntarily bumped my pay up quite a bit!

    • Anonymous

      I also look at it in terms of experience – how often do you get to negotiate a salary? Or ask for a raise? Probably not very often.

    • Anonymous

      I think this really depends on how junior you are. If you are (arguement’s sake) talking about a 65k offer on a job title where you are on the very low end of experience but the salary band is 60-100k, you might push for 70k and feel just fine with 67 (or even 65 if they can’t move). But should you ask for 80? No.

      • bridget

        That’s what I was thinking – ask for a small amount more than offer and talk about how often salary increases are negotiated.

    • LawDawg

      At least ask for time off that is at or above the level you are getting now. You may not use all of your time off, but it’s an easy give for the employer and you will feel like you didn’t just accept what they offered.

    • OP

      Thanks to everyone who has answered. Does anyone’s thinking on this change if I just discovered I’m pregnant? Happy news, not great timing. Argh. It’s way too early for me to bring up maternity benefits in the negotiation, but I believe the company does offer paid leave, thankfully, since I won’t technically qualify for FMLA.

      I think I’ll ask if there’s flexibility on the leave, since that will be immediately important. If not, I’ll ask how often performance and salary are reviewed, and for a small amount more money, then accept regardless of whether they adjust the offer. Reasonable? Long term, the experience is compensation in itself, but I’ve been massively underpaid before and I don’t want to sell myself too short.

      • Bingo

        I accepted a job just after finding out I was pregnant as well, and I didn’t counter the offer. Maybe I should have, but I really wanted the job, thought the pay was good, and was very happy that they were so flexible in accommodating my pregnancy. I also got paid leave, despite having been on the job for only 4 months when I delivered. For me, I felt like asking more money would have been bluffing, and I ‘m terrible at bluffing, and just that back-and-forth negotiation would have stressed me out. I didn’t want to sour the negotiations, and had so much going on with changing jobs, moving, selling my house, and being pregnant, that I just didn’t bother.

  5. Anon

    This is a more appropriate post for the Moms page but I am assuming that with the additional traffic on this page, I may get more responses. I am pregnant with my first baby and am wondering if anyone can give me a very basic outline of what pumping during a work day looks like. I know I am a while away from really needing this information but I am having trouble finding information about how frequently people need to pump during the work day so I am visualizing insane logistical nightmares. I am interested in hearing from anyone with experience, whether it worked out or didn’t. Thanks in advance!

    • Betty

      A bit of background: I went back to work at 4 and 6 mos with each kid and pumped until each was about 18 months. So here is how it worked for me: We coslept so I nursed right before I got out of bed in the morning. I pumped two to three times at work (generally around 10 and 2) and then nursed when I got home until that feeding dropped away. In each job, there was a dedicated space where I could leave my pumping stuff and a fridge near by. By my second kid, I left my pump at work and had a hand pump at home in case I needed it for anything. I would pump into the target bags (the same as lansinoh but cheaper), throw everything (flanges, parts that connect to the bag, etc) into the fridge, so that I didn’t have to wash between pumpings. Next pump, grab the stuff from the fridge and repeat. I would take the stuff home that needed to be washed every evening. A few other lessons learned: Keep a spare set of pump parts at work in case you forget at home, an extra shirt because Bmilk shows up and stains like nothing else and extra nursing pads because leaks happen. A hands free pumping bra is a time saver (I liked Dairy Fairy). Keep snacks and water with your pumping stuff. Set reminders on your calendar to pump and honor it as a top priority. It is logistically complicated but you will manage to get into a routine pretty quickly. Oh and the site work and pump . com is an amazing resource. Good Luck!!!

    • Anonymous

      I am maybe the other end of the spectrum.

      I had the bottles that attach to the pump in the included cooler bag with an icepack in my office. No refrigerator. I wiped down the flanges and pump parts between pumpings (initially, 3x for 15 minutes, then 2x for most of the 12 months after leave that I nursed with tapering to 1x for the final month). So: I refrigerated nothing (but used a cooler) and washed nothing and pumped in my office (locking door + blinds on windows). I took my pump home to clean everything at night (dishwasher, along with dishes and bottles and everything else). Highly recommend getting an extra set of parts. ALSO: for pumping into bags, milk separates and the fat can cling to the bag, so you have to warm it a bit to get the fat into a bottle when ready to feed — this is normal and happens to all non-pasturized or homogenized milk (I forget which it is). BUT for this reason, I tried to use bottles so I didn’t have to alter the temp and kept the bags for emergencies only.

      We didn’t / don’t have a pumping room and from friends who do, the scheduling can get rocky b/c everyone seems to want 10 and 2 slots.

      Travel pumping is a beast, especially if you have to travel sans baby.

    • Anon in NYC

      The frequency will depend on a few things, like the age of your kid when you return to work, how frequently they’re eating before you return, and what your supply is like. My daughter was 14 weeks when I went back to work. At my current job I don’t have a private office so I need to schedule times in a separate room in 30-minute windows. I had an oversupply for several months, so I made the decision to pump 2x a day. I either pump or nurse in the morning before work, and then scheduled the room at 11:30 and 3:30. I have found that my supply has dropped, but this could be due to any number of factors: the return of my period, increasing my exercise, the start of solids, general hormones, etc. I bring in a cooler bag, pumping bra, and a burp cloth/towel for my lap. I have a second pump that I leave in the office. I wipe pump parts clean but don’t wash them between pumping, and store everything in the fridge that is in the pumping room in between my scheduled times (and take it all home at night). All in all, it’s an hour out of my day, with an extra 15 minutes if you count the time to get to the room and back.

      My friend pumps 3x a day on a set schedule. She went back when her daughter was about 6 months.

      • Anon in NYC

        Also, I second the recommendation to have an extra set of pump parts. It has been a lifesaver.

    • Anon

      With my son I went back to work when he was 3 months old and pumped at 10 a.m., 12:30 p.m., and 3 p.m. for about 6 months (so until he was 9 months old). Around that time he was eating more solid food and I had a good sixe freezer stash built up, so for the next 2 months I pumped twice a day, and then for 1 month I just pumped at lunch. When he was 12 months old, I sopped pumping, but continued to nurse him before work, after work and on weekends until he was 2 years old.

      With my daughter, I went back to work when she was 4 months old and she refused to take a bottle. I initially pumped the same 3 times a day for a while, but we built up a huge freezer stash because she would not eat during the day. She would wait until I got home and nurse all night long and in the morning before work. (We were in constant communication with the doctor/monitored her weight and hydration level and she was fine. Just stubborn!) Eventually when she was like 6 or 7 months old she started taking a bottle, but moved quickly to a sippy cup by 9 or 10 months. She was also eating more solid food by this point and so I only pumped at lunch until she was a year. I continued to nurse her before and after work and on the weekends until she was 3 years old.

    • Spirograph

      I can’t stress enough how different this can be for everyone. It’s really going to depend on your supply, how much your baby wants to eat while you’re away, and your work schedule. I’d nurse baby in the morning before going to work, pump around 9-10, again around 3, and then nurse again when I got home around 6. I did not treat my pumping times as unmissable appointments, and would shift them up to an hour or two in either direction if work got in the way. I also never pumped more than twice per day, but I know a lot of people try to do three times. For me, that was too much time away from my desk, and I didn’t need the extra milk.

      My office building had a designated lactation room, which was 8 floors away from my cube, so that made it a hassle with slow elevators. But I just left my pump bag in the lac room and brought my bottles and parts back and forth every day, which made up for it a little bit. I never washed the pump parts in between pumping sessions, just threw them in the cooler bag in the fridge with the bottles and washed it all at home. All told, I was away from my desk for 20-30 minutes each time. If I was swamped, I’d bring work with me while I pumped; more often, I’d catnap or read a book.

      Pumping at work is a total PITA. Try it, see how it goes, and if you just can’t for whatever reason, give it up without guilt.

      • Anonymous

        Ament to your last sentence.

        It turned out that I have some enzyme in my milk that makes it really stinky if you freeze and thaw it. I didn’t feel right sending it into my baby’s school and eventually dumped my freezer stash and used only freshly pumped milk (which was chilled but not frozen the prior day).

        [Technically, you could scald the milk briefly and kill off that enzyme, but I often wound up boiling it by accident, which probably did no good at all. And I’m not set up to run a milk factory — I barely had enough time to work and take actual care of my child. Nursing was fine once I got the hang of it but I hated pumping with a passion. I used to fantasize about the ways I’d destroy it once I was done for good.]

      • Mrs. Jones

        It’s hard for me to think of things that I hate more than I hated pumping at work. I wanted to cry each time. If I had a second child, I wouldn’t even think twice about weaning before going back to work.

    • LawDawg

      First recommendation is to start pumping as soon as possible after the baby is born. It will get you used to pumping, will provide a supply to start with (less pressure to produce at work), and you will have an idea of your production. It may be hard to fit it in, but with my second I started a pumping schedule (just once a day) when she was only a few weeks old. That also allowed me to go out of the house without the baby pretty early on and gave other family members more of a chance to do childcare.

      My production was good, so I pumped twice a day. At my desk. While working. I pumped into bottles that I could balance on my legs while the pump was going (handsfree without a special bra). Having two pumps for my second child was a big improvement over lugging back and forth. I rinsed pump parts after each session and brought them home for thorough cleaning at night. I also transported bottles back and forth and used them right away. I only bagged and froze excess.

      I know there are some people who hated pumping, but I loved it. I felt like I was still doing something for the kids and it didn’t interrupt my workday at all.

    • ezt

      I hope this doesn’t come across as a huge downer, just a thought. I prepared for pumping throughout my pregnancy, seeking advice on pumps, buying milk storage bags, etc. etc. Then never had the supply to exclusively BF, let alone store any for later, anything I pumped was used to supplement the next feed, I went through six months of lactation consultants and herbal supplements and a specialized doctor and what-have-you trying to get to exclusive BFing, and finally gave up and stopped before I went back to work. My child was given formula in the hospital (jaundiced, not pooping , BFing was not cutting it) and I was forced to supplement with formula every single day of his life until he transitioned to cow’s milk. I cried about it almost everyday. In hindsight, the only thing I regret is how much I obsessed over it, since my kid is fine. So my takeaway is, be prepared for everything and don’t buy too much stuff before you know you’ll need it. You can always rent a hospital-grade pump for the first month you need to pump while you figure everything out.

      • AIMS

        Your insurance company has to provide you a pump free now. Mine had all the options I would normally consider anyway. You can order it within 30 days of your due date. I think this is all great advice but I’d say you can go ahead and get a pump without bothering with the hospital rental.

        • Anonymous

          That’s totally true. But if you’re having supply issues, you may be advised to pump in addition to regular feedings to try and increase your supply. And if that’s what you’re doing, a hospital-grade pump works much better (so they say – nothing worked for me).

          That said, DO get a hands-free pumping bra THE MINUTE you need to start pumping.

    • RDC

      I pumped 3x a day from 4 mos when I returned to work to about 9 months, then slowly tapered to 2x and 1x. To fit in three sessions, I would nurse at home (6:30ish) then pump at 8:39, 11:30, and 3ish, and nurse again at 6 and again at 7. I actually found the 3x a day schedule easier to fit in since I didn’t tend to have meetings at those times – when I went down to twice a day (10/2) it was harder to work around meetings.

      I left the pump at work and toted bottles and parts back and forth. I understand lots of moms also pump at night after the baby goes to bed but I didn’t do that regularly; it was important to me to have some free time in the evenings. (I would rather pump 3x at work than 2x at work plus the evening.)

      Also agree it’s really helpful to start pumping well before you come back to work to build up a stash. It’s much less stressful if you have a reserve to fall back on when you’re short some days.

    • DCA

      If you can do it, I recommend learning manual (hand) expression. I had a Medela funnel that attached to a bottle, and that’s all I brought to work in a little cooler with an ice pack. I had a pretty long maternity leave, so when I returned I only had to express 1-2x per day. There were no parts to clean other than the funnel. I could get a lot of milk, quickly, this way and no noise, no parts, etc. If traveling and I wasn’t going to bring milk home, I could express in the shower and not bother bringing any parts with me. It was a good skill to have, but I recognize it’s not easy for everyone.

      • AIMS

        Not sure if you’re referring to the Madela manual pump but I got one for $27 on Amazon and very happy with it. I also got the electric pump in style from insurance but while I’m on leave I like the manual for just day to day (pumping once/day to give myself a break later). I don’t know how it will work when I go back to work and I’m likely going to have to switch to the electric but if I can I would love to continue using this – it’s quick, quiet and easy.

    • Anon

      One product that was realty helpful to me was this sports bra like wrap that I wrapped around my chest. It had two holes where the pump parts were placed to allow for hands free pumping. I pumped in my office, so the hands free ability was awesome to allow for me to use that time to respond to emails, look up quick things online, etc.

      I also only used a cooler.

    • Anon S

      I am writing this response without reading the other responses. My daughter is almost 9 months old, and I’ve been pumping at work for about 3 months now (took 6 months off). It’s a huge pain in the a hole. That being said, it is VERY important to me, so I make it work, even though it sucks. I have gotten walked in on before, which was at first mortifying, but then hilarious. Anyways, I BF at 7am, and when I go into the office I pump at 10AM, 1PM, and 4PM. I pump for 20 minutes. During pumping, I have a hands free bra which means I can insert the pump parts into the bra and do whatever I need to with my hands (type, write notes, whatever). If you have to go to another room to pump, then it’s going to make things a lot worse because you’re not going to be able to continue working on something at your desk. I had this problem for a while (our offices have clear glass walls) and was going to another room, until I requested a privacy screen, which I now have in my office. Even though I can work on things while I am pumping, it’s still annoying to mentally have to think every day, ok I have to stop at this time, this time and this time. I also have a fridge in my office so I store everything in there to minimize having to run to the bathroom or the sink or wherever to wash things off. I also have 3 sets of pump parts so that I don’t have to worry about washing one set as soon as I get home to make sure it’s ready for the next day (and my husband is the one who washes the parts, so that makes it easier too!) I have one pump at home and one at work so that’s one less thing I have to lug around each day. The only things I take back and forth every day are the pump parts, and a cooler bag that holds my milk. In the next month or so, I plan to cut back to pumping 2 times a day at work. I have experimented with this before and I get about one ounce less when I pump 2 times than when I pump 3. My goal is to make it to 1 year, so when I’m a little closer to that time, I’ll be able to cut back to 2 times because I’ll have enough in my freezer stash to make it. Wow, this was a novel, but the point is, it’s hard and annoying, but it’s entirely doable. It might take you a while to get a system going that works for you.

      • Anon S

        I want to amend my post by also saying that I nurse at 6:30PM, and then I pump once before bed. So I pump a total of 4 times a day when I go to the office (I work from home 2 days a week, when I BF my daughter and just pump once at night). Pumping at night sucks, but I need that extra pump to get enough for her to have the next day. You might not have to do this if you can pump more than what baby will eat

  6. Swag?

    Are there any free promotional type items from products/brands that you enjoy/like/use more than others?

    For me, I’ll always grab a free pen, but definitely don’t need another coozie. I used to grab free reusable shopping bags, but now I have so many that I never take them. Chip clips are something else I usually grab.

    • Runner 5

      I will always take *good* reusable shopping bags – either the ones that fold down into a tiny pocket, or that have a gusset and good long straps.
      I’ve stopped grabbing free pens, as I’ve now found my one true ballpoint (Papermate InkJoy 100 Retractable).

    • mascot

      Screen cloths, usb sticks and plugs, back-up battery sticks, notepads assuming the logo doesn’t cover the whole thing, golf balls/accessories, pen/stylus combos.

    • S in Chicago

      I am media in B2b, so I may be getting a different tier of spend walking trade shows than most, but I always like booths that give travel chargers. And umbrellas. Maybe a travel mug depending on how quality looks.

      On the lower end, I’ve stopped for a good highlighter a time or two as well.

    • Cat

      “real” umbrellas (like, a small Totes umbrella, not $5 street vendor umbrella quality), USB sticks, plastic cups (maybe specific to me – I like them for working out – drinking from a water bottle annoys me)

    • post-it books!

      Those cute little “books” of tabs and post-its. Especially if the logo is on the outside of the book and not the post-it itself.

    • Anon

      I go to at least two swag-filled meetings per year so I know what I do and do not like

      I will 100% of the time grab an iPhone charger and a tin of mints. Everyone needs a mint at a conference and it’s nice to have a few extra chargers and cables.

      I have no appreciation for notebooks, pens, post it notes, binder clips and other office supplies. I would just end up throwing those away.

      The cleverest swag I saw recently was at a conference near the beach in southern cal. The vendor had cheap rubber flip flops printed with their company name on one of the straps. It gave some of my fellow attendees an opportunity to walk down to the beach and get their toes wet in the ocean. And I still have my pair in my suitcase as my travel slippers.

    • MomAnon4This

      Haven’t seen this reply so I’ll confess: something in a squeezy-toy shape for my kid who is less than 5 years old. I will grab that every.time. Trains, chickens, cows, computers, anything.

  7. Anonymous

    So, all this talk about finances is forcing me and my husband to rely become more financially literate.

    We come from poor backgrounds (he had a single mom and five siblings, my dad worked his whole life as a janitor). I am 28 and in law, my husband is 32 and not in law. We make $250,000/yr, have paid off all the student loans, and have about $200,000 saved. The problem is, the money is literally just sitting in the bank. We have no idea how to invest it (real estate (commercial? residential?), stocks (if so, what type?), etc.). We are renting a home in NoVa and do not want to buy yet because our rent is incredibly low (landlord loves that we are hassle free tenants – husband does any repairs around the property). We don’t have much in retirement, apart from our 401(k)s that provide an employer match.

    Now that all student loans are paid off, we are saving at the rate of about $90,000/per year. We know it is incredibly stupid to keep adding money to the savings account, we want to beef up our retirement accounts and invest the money. Our parents taught us about hard work and the importance of saving, but now its up to us to learn what to do with money once it is saved! What vehicles do you guys use to save for retirement? What investments do you all have?

    • Betty

      Piggybacking off of this: Does anyone have a good recommendation for a book on investing, not paying off debt or being broke, but how to become literate on different investment vehicles and do my own investing?

      • Anonymous

        Smart Money is a magazine put out the the WSJ. Smart Money has books (more like large pamphlets) that they put out from time to time that are quick and easy to read.

        Because I’m frugal I have to add: see if your library has them before you buy :)

      • NYC Anon

        Bogleheads Guide to Investing. It’s skewed heavily towards the theory that you should primarily invest in index funds (which I think is the right answer for most people, but if you want to invest in individual stocks, etc., it’s not the book for you).

        • Lise

          I second this, it’s terrific! You can also learn a lot of this information from the Bogleheads website and wiki but the book is a great guide.

    • Meg March

      Seconding the Vanguard recommendation. Also, if you’re not maxing out your 401ks, you should bump that up!

    • Anon 4 This

      Asking because DH and I have very similar metrics, also in HCOL, except our cash savings (ie: excluding 401ks) is closer to $40k right now and we own our home… we are able to save about $50k/year, so I’m curious about your $90k…

      Is your $90k projected annual savings pre or post 401k? Are you maxing 401ks? I am just curious about what someone similar to me does!

      • Anonymous

        $90k is post 401k, but we are only contributing up to the employer match. We are upping that this year to hit the max. Our living expenses are not that high, but that’s because we are paying $1700 for renting a home in a great neighborhood and our kiddo is being watched by grandparents so we do not have daycare expenses. I don’t think we live frugally at all – we spend money on clothes, eating out and travel 2-3x per year internationally, but since we have no debt (house, car, or loans) then everything that is leftover ends up in savings.

        • Anon 4 This

          Thanks! That’s great anecdata for me. We have a mortgage, but the monthly payment is only $300 more than your rent, which is actually just real estate taxes. We do have $500/mo in car loans and occasional other home expenses, but the rest of our stats are the same (sans kid)… we are upping 401ks and then trying to figure out what to do with the “left over” money just like you. Thanks for the timely post!

        • Spirograph

          AHA, the grandparents are what does it. You’re very fortunate. I have similar income on the MD side of DC, and only slightly higher housing cost, but daycare kills my savings rate. :) I was baffled how you were managing to save so much with an 8 month old.

          • Anonymous

            Yes, we thank our lucky stars that my husband’s mom watches our kiddo and loves doing it! We may hire a nanny to help her out during the day, but as of right now she says she does not need. Hurrah for awesome MILs!

    • Anonymous

      I think you’re in a great place to talk to a fee based financial planner. You have big time money and need to be making smart big time choices with it.

      • LAnon

        +1 to this – not to cast aspersions on anyone here, but congrats: you have so much money that it should be managed by a professional and not by strangers on the internet! :)

      • JJ

        I agree completely. Once we got to a certain threshold, we realized we didn’t know enough to invest our money wisely…and didn’t have the extra time to devote to it to maximize value. We love our (fee-based) financial planner and it’s been a relief to let him deal with investing/saving it.

    • Spirograph

      $90k/year! Congratulations!

      Are you planning for kids any time soon? That would impact how much I’d suggest keeping in shorter term savings.

      I max my 401k every year for the tax benefits, but I also have personal retirement and investment accounts. Your income is too high for a Roth IRA, but based on what you’ve said here, there is no reason not to be setting quite a bit more aside for retirement, and you can easily do that with a regular IRA.

      I used to be really interested in investing in individual stocks, but I just don’t have the time or energy to stay on top of it anymore. Now I am a true “set and forget” investor, and most of my investments are in index funds. Large cap, small cap, REIT, bonds, and international. There are many schools of thought on diversification, but that’s what works for me. I have a target asset allocation, and I check in every 3-6 months or so and rebalance across all of my accounts (IRA, rollover IRA from previous job, Roth IRA from when I still met the income limits, and investment account) when things get too out-of-whack by selling some of whichever funds have massively outperformed most recently. I like that I only have to think once, just apply it to several accounts.

      I am not currently contributing regularly to my accounts because kids, but you can easily set up a monthly direct deposit and auto-purchase orders for index funds to dollar-cost average.

      People recommend personal finance books here all the time, and have mentioned several recently… my favorites: The Motley Fool, books by Peter Lynch and Warren Buffet (if you’re interested in individual stocks)

      • Anonymous

        Thanks for your response! We have an 8 month old and are planning for 1-2 more kids.

        We’ve been doing some research over the past week regarding the basics of stock investing and index funds seem to come up a lot. To me, it seems like dividend stocks + reinvesting the dividends each year may be a better choice than index funds because they have the potential to provide a steady stream of income in retirement, but maybe I am missing something since everyone recommends index funds? Are dividend stocks riskier or harder to manage?

        Will be ordering that book on amazon later today!

        • Anonymous

          This is why you should hire a pro!!!! I mean this so nicely, but you’ve just gone from “I know nothing about this” to “I disagree with standard financial advice of experts on the basis of a week’s study.”

          What you are going is the equivalent of asking Dr. Google to plan your cancer treatment. Sure, it will absolutely give you real info. But there are also trained professionals with years of learning and expertise, and you can easily afford to hire one.

          • Anonymous

            haha, thanks. Will definitely hire a financial planner (as so many have suggested). I really have no idea how stocks work, but Google is making me think I do ;)

          • MATH CHICK

            IN THIS CASE, I would say do not hire a planner until you know enough to know if the planner is WRONG. Just ask the many NFLers who go bankrupt every year. If you know enough to know if you are getting good advice, that is when you can hire a planner. For now: READ or even skim some of the recommended books.

        • Spirograph

          I agree that talking to a fee-based financial planner is a good idea in your situation. but to your question: no, I don’t think they’re any harder to manage, you just have to do the research to pick them first, which is more time consuming than index fund investing. It can be kind of fun, though. Individual stocks are inherently “riskier” than index funds, because in general, the fortunes of a single company can turn more quickly than the fortunes of a giant swath of the economy, but blue chip dividend stocks are definitely at the lower end of the risk spectrum. I have a handful of dividend stocks, although none are in my retirement accounts. If you do buy dividend stocks, I strongly recommend setting them all up as DRiPs (dividend reinvestment plans) that automatically reinvest the dividends much more regularly than every year.

      • Terry

        One thought – how about a 529 plan for your kiddo? The idea is that if you invest after-tax money now and don’t pay taxes on the money you withdraw in 17 years (presumably, the money will have grown during that time).

    • You need a financial planner

      You need a financial planner. I highly recommend ours — Thomas Fautrel with Morgan Stanley. He’s in Bethesda. We were in a similar position, had a bunch of money just sitting there, and he has radically transformed our savings for the better. Also, just a really nice guy. It’s such a relief not to be worrying about how to invest and letting an expert handle it.

    • Anonymous

      I’m not disagreeing with the advice to consult a financial planner and invest, but just wanted to say we have a similar amount just sitting in the bank. I was raised by incredibly risk adverse parents who wanted their money where they could see it (metaphorically, not literally) and never invested a dime. They’ve become incredibly wealthy just by saving everything and I am probably going to take a similar approach even though rationally I understand that investing is better.

      • Anonymous

        So, you’re just okay with constantly losing money as your savings don’t keep up with inflation? Your plan is stupid. There are lots of better things to do with your money even if you want to be extremely conservative.

        • ml

          Harsh, but true. Especially when interest rates on savings are so incredibly low. I am going to guess that your parents have been using this “strategy” for about 30 years. So for argument’s sake, let’s say they started with $10k in 1986. If they’d put it in a S&P index, it would have grown to almost $100k. Some dips along the way, of course. At a (generous) 5% interest rate, it only reaches a little over $40k in the same time period.

          And that’s only the initial $10k, not counting all the additional savings you’d add along the way. INVEST, people. Not all of your money, but a good chunk of it.

        • Anonymous

          Like I said, I’m aware this does not optimize our money. But my parents now have more money than they could possibly spend in their lifetimes (even assuming they need 20 years of assisted living each, which is very unlikely). And our incomes are far greater than theirs are/were (even adjusted for inflation) so I don’t really see a need to do anything different.

          • Anon

            Wait what? Seriously? You are literally leaving money on the table. Perhaps millions of it.

          • Anonymous

            Eh, I’m not someone who cares about dying rich. I care about doing certain things in my life: living in a comfortable home, being able to pay for any college my kids want to go, traveling the world as much I want to, funding my end of life care so I am not a burden to my kids. I am confident I will be able to do these things on the savings I will have (or the insurance payouts I will get if something goes wrong). Beyond these things, I live a very modest lifestyle. I don’t care about expensive clothes, cars, or houses. I do not care about leaving my kids an inheritance. I see no real reason to jump through hoops to die multi-millionaire when I can have the life I want by doing nothing.

          • Aunt Jamesina

            Savings account interest rates used to be better than they are now, so your parents were lucky that they did this when they did. Since they’re now WELL below the rate of inflation, this is really misguided. Put your money to work!

          • LeeB

            The difference is that banks paid over 5% interest on savings accounts in the 1990’s and they now pay about 1%. You will have a small fraction of the growth that your parents experienced.

          • Anonymous

            Sticking your money in a low fee index fund is not jumping through hoops! It’s hardly more complicated than using a savings account. There are reasons this worked for your parents (savings accounts with interest rates that came close to/actually matched inflation). These reasons don’t exist any more. Please don’t screw yourself over financially!

          • PNW Consultant

            You said your husband does repairs around the house now. Maybe your investment consideration should be a small house that you could rent out? Not all investments have to be stocks and bonds based. Just be sure to understand the tax and legal implications of being a landlord in your area before jumping in.

          • nutella

            Girl, for the last at least 100 years, the S&P has had an 8% return rate with about 17% fluctuation. Particularly, if your goal is not to need it until the long-term, you are losing money, especially since you cannot take advantage of the same benefits available to your parents. Your money is not keeping up with inflation – so you probably can’t even send a kid to college, as the tuition rate has surpassed the rate of inflation in just the last 10-15 years! Fingers crossed none of you has to face any emergency or longterm healthcare either. You are giving yourself no cushion if you want to simply balance out at zero when you die (since you said you don’t want to make more and don’t want to leave any to your children), for someone very risk averse, it’s a very risky plan to hope you have the same constant income and expenses, no matter what life, disability, childcare, health concerns, job loss, etc. throws your way. Sorry to be harsh, but this is not risk averse.

      • Different anon

        Just want to echo everyone else’s sentiments here and say that doing nothing with your money is not “conservative” — it’s foolish. “Conservative” people invest in index funds. You are losing money because of inflation, and savings accounts rates will never be what they were for your parents.

        Your argument sounds like someone saying that in order to stay healthy, she has decided never to exercise, because she heard that sometimes you can get hurt when you exercise.

      • Anonymous

        lol at “risk adverse”. It is not just a spelling error, you don’t know what it means.

    • CityGirl

      My dad is a financial planner (at Morgan Stanley in NoVA coincidentally!) and at my portfolio review at the end of 2015, he recommended moving my investments to very low-risk funds. I am nowhere near retirement/needing the money, but he doesn’t have a good feeling about the market rebounding any time soon. Also great job maxing out the company matching for your 401k – that is an easy thing that a lot of people miss out on.

    • Anon academic

      I recommend this a lot here but check out the Bogleheads forum. Look at the sticky posts on getting started and suggestions for reading. Then do some research on what retirement options you have through work and post all the details in the format they suggest. There are some wonderfully experienced and helpful posters who will give you personalized advice and a detailed plan of action. You’ll get enough perspectives and if you do the background reading you will have a sense of how much you agree with the advice.

      Before thinking about specific investments you need to think about your goals and philosophy and have a life plan.

      Other rec: Suze Orman books

      Finally…you are already doing an awesome job saving! And you are young so you can take a few months to become knowledgable and make a thoughtful plan.

    • DC Anon

      Make sure you get a fee-based financial advisor, not a general financial advisor. Start your search at napfa.org (NAPFA = National Association of Fee-Based Financial Advisors). You’ll want someone who can help you come up with a financial plan, not someone who will tell you “oh just pay me a percentage of your assets to let me handle everything for you.”

    • Anon

      You are getting some bad financial advice here, some of it spectacularly bad.

      There are plenty of reasons to keep a good amount of your savings in cash. Interest rates are low right now, but so is inflation. At .5% for 2015 inflation is not going to eat through your savings any time soon.

      If you can sacrifice liquidity for some of it you can buy CDs at slightly higher interest rates at no risk to your capital.

      Investing in the stock market has been shown to be effective over the long term but not necessarily the short term. Think of 2008 when many people lost their homes and their jobs, and lost substantial captital in their invested assets. The ONLY thing that would have helped those people would have been cash savings.

      • ml

        I don’t think anyone’s suggesting that the entire $200k and all future $90k/year should go into the stock market. Obviously, you always need some cash on hand for emergencies, hopefully enough that you’re not forced to sell stock when the market is down to get access to money to live on. CDs are a great place for money you may need in the near term. But when you have $250k/year in income and $90k more than your expenses, you probably can afford not to touch a significant amount for 10+ years – which is a totally acceptable horizon for money in the stock market.

        I lost a lot of money in 2008, but I didn’t realize any of those losses, because I didn’t sell. I’ve regained all of those losses and then some. The whole point retirement savings is that you amass a huge amount of assets and can live off the interest or dividends, or only liquidate and withdraw a relatively small amount at once. Historically, it is unlikely the market will be down for the entire 20-30 years of anyone’s retirement.

  8. Peloton

    I’m not local to NYC, but I’ve been eyeballing a Peloton cycle for a while now. Any classes at my local gym are an additional per class fee ($14) on top of the monthly gym membership fee, which annoys me.

    Does anyone own one? Or have you been to the studio to try their classes? Bike is about $2k, but they just came out with an iPhone app to view classes, so I’d be happy to start there.

    • Runner 5

      I hadn’t heard of it so I had a look online – I can’t see why it’s any different than a much cheaper stationery bike and streaming classes from YouTube/etc. You could buy a pretty fancy real bike and an indoor trainer for $2k.

      • Anonymous

        It’s very different than a regular stationary bike in the range of movement it offers. The difference with the classes is in quality and ease of use.

        Idk if it’s worth it, and I wouldn’t be eager to buy one without trying it, but it is a very different bike.

    • buffybot

      So, I don’t own one, but I know a few people who do and like them, although they also mix it up with in-person classes. I also got the opportunity to try one out last week, and really liked it. I took a spin class, which was (for me) equal to going to a “live” spin class in person, minus the inconvenience of getting out of the house. The scenic biking routes also look very nice – simulated biking in national parks, etc.

      I can’t really say whether it’s worth the expense (or, more importantly to my mind, the space in your house). However, what I suspect differentiates it from just using a stationary bike and streaming youtube classes is that the bike provides feedback to the screen on your speed, resistance and overall “output,” which is uses to provide a ranking of other people taking the same spin class. So, if you’re driven by being competitive, that might be a nice feature. Also, it has all the classes “curated” and rated, which obviously you’d have to figure out yourself if you were using youtube.

    • JJ

      I have a Spin bike (but not a Peloton) and pay $10/month for streaming spin classes from Studio Sweat. I haven’t ridden a Peloton, but my bike is the same one used in lots of gyms and (8 years ago) it was $900. It’s a great workout for me, and I think, probably cheaper than Peloton.

    • Anonymous

      I’ve had one for about 6 months and I love it. I bought it after a change to my work schedule that made going to the gym impractical. I work out harder on my Peloton bike than I do at SoulCycle classes but not as hard as I used to at my old gym, where the spinning class I attended was directed at people who were serious outdoor cyclists. I cross train by running and weightlifting, but I don’t go to studio cycling classes except when I am traveling and get sick of running.

    • Anonymous

      I do not have the peloton bike, but I do use the Peloton iPad app with an inexpensive spin bike from amazon ($250). Doesn’t have all the bells and whistles of the peloton bike- for example doesn’t monitor your progress, but it is a great less-expensive option.

  9. 2016 travel

    2016 NYT places to go is out!

    Curious to hear what people’s travel goals are this year, and how much travel or vacations rank in people’s time/money priority list.

    • Anonymous

      Big trip this spring- 10 days, destination tbd but likely somewhere on the Mediterranean

      Small trip for Labor Day- within a couple hours of home

      Trip between Christmas and New Year’s, likely to Central America but maybe Cuba if budget permits

      Factors pretty heavily into my overall life planning. It’s a lot of money (prob 10k if I’m being honest with myself and including a couple weekend visits to friends) and I also have ambitious loan pay off goals this year, so I do think about it when I make day to day spending choices. I also want to get into better shape for the May trip so I can really enjoy walking around all day.

    • Cb

      Mostly conference travel rather than fun travel for me this year, Prague, Istanbul. Combining a conference in Northern Italy with a holiday in the same area but pretty mellow given budgetary constraints / possible TTC.

      • KinCA

        Please tell me what kind of job sends you to northern Italy for a conference. Also, how does one obtain said job? :)

        • Anonymous

          Not Cb, but one answer is academia! My husband is in academia and has conferences all over the world – he’s gone to Germany, Denmark, Portugal and Croatia in the last year. So…I guess that’s all over Europe, not all over the world. But there are conferences in Asia, Australia and Africa too. It’s *incredibly* hard to get a tenure-track job at a research university, but once you get one, it’s the best life ever.

    • AnoNot going to out myself with travel

      -Thailand/Hong Kong/Vietnam in June is my big trip this year (and the biggest/furthest one of my life!). I’m stoked. Going with two guy friends and my BFF – we have spent a lot of our friendship talking about traveling together and I am so excited it is finally happening. Also, I am going there on Cathay Pacific’s 777 JFK-HKG and I am in business class in the “mini cabin” and I am really excited about that part, too.
      -Debating going to Tokyo for literally like, 2-3 days in 2 weeks. A friend is going to unexpectedly be on travel there over his birthday weekend and I’ve always wanted to go. Trying to make the miles/dollars work – it may be a last minute decision. (Return one way flights are so expensive!!)
      -Weddings, weddings, weddings. 3 travel weddings this year + my brother’s graduation.

    • LF

      I live within easy driving distance of Quebec and my New Years’ resolution is to go to Canada more, since it’s currently cheap. Just booked a weekend in Quebec City in March and am planning on going to Toronto in May. Will likely be following up with a trip to Seattle in September/October and probably want to tack on a trip to Vancouver (never been) as well. Also, I’m hoping to get reservations at Au Pied de Cochon’s pop-up sugar shack restaurant for the fall.

      This year we don’t have any big trips planned because my financial priority is to make some improvements to my house (new windows, new appliances and upgraded counters).

      • AMB

        Please do take advantage of the dollar, I am Canadian going to Florida in a few weeks and pretty much any shopping is now off the table. Enjoy your time in Canada! All of those cities are great fun.

    • Woods-comma-Elle

      Trips are a big thing for both me and my SO. My parents live abroad , so that affects vacation time as I want to take time to see them and older dad is not so keen to travel anywhere that takes more than a couple of hours’ flight.

      Plans so far are (from the UK):

      -Big holiday with SO to Hawaii.
      -A one-week trip home.
      -A few days trip with parents, probably Ireland.
      -A couple of long weekends with SO – probably Berlin and maybe Spain.
      – Another long weekend with girlfriends

      No weddings this year require vacation time, since the only destination wedding of the year is while we are already on vacation.

    • Anonymous

      Travel ranks very high on my priority list. It’s the main thing we spend discretionary income on.
      In 2016, we’re going to Thailand (already booked) in the spring and hopefully Mexico or the Caribbean in the fall. I don’t normally get to take two international trips in one year, but we didn’t travel much in 2015 and anticipate not traveling much in 2017, so we’re trying to make up for it. We’re also flying to weddings in California (x2), New Orleans, Minnesota and Texas, and will hopefully be doing some trips to fun cities within driving distance of us (Chicago and Nashville for sure, maybe others).

    • AMB

      I don’t think I’m going to do any big trips this year, I would like to next go abroad to either the Nordic part of Europe or do a South American tour that includes the Galapagos, both of which will be $$$ so will need to do some saving there.
      I’m doing a girls weekend to Florida in a few weeks, and then am hoping to piggyback on a conference my boyfriend is going to in New Orleans in the spring.
      Following that my parents may book a cottage on Prince Edward Island over the summer so will hopefully do a week out there.
      Maybe New York City in the fall, but only if the dollar improves (Canadian here, le sigh). I would love to try and see Hamilton!

    • Senior Attorney

      Fun topic! I have big plans this year!

      A week in New Orleans and environs in late February (and NOLA, if you’re reading this, I’d love to meet up! email me at seniorattorney1 at gmail!)
      Two weeks in Asia in May/June — Cambodia followed by the Rotary International Convention in Seoul
      Ten-day cycling trip in Sicily in late September
      Hopefully a long weekend here and there — have been talking about going to Maine with some friends but not sure if I’ll have enough time off left at that point to make it happen

      Travel is a huge deal for Gentleman Friend and me. He likes to take at least a small vacation every quarter and I am certainly all in favor of that as well! It’s a big budget priority and I cut back on other things to make it happen.

    • Anonymous

      I’ve always been a little wary of that NY Times list – I feel like they pick places that are weird just because they’re weird and not because they’re actually places that are worth visiting. Grand Rapids, Michigan? Really? I’m a Midwesterner and married to a Michigander, and I don’t doubt Grand Rapids is a perfectly nice place to live, but to tell me that’s one of the Top 52 places I should visit with my precious three weeks of vacation time? Yeah, no.

      • Bonnie

        Not putting much stock in the list. They urge people to come to DC to visit a museum that won’t open until the end of the year and to eat at a branch of a NYC restaurant.

    • Veronica Mars

      The two big trips on my radar are visiting a dear friend in South America and going to Europe with my family. I will likely shoot for South America this year and Europe in 2017, but that could be flipped. I am also thinking of treating myself to a beach weekend sometime in the summer, if I can find some friends to come with me and split the costs of the rental.

    • ss

      Happy to see Mexico City and Bordeaux as 1 and 2 on the NYT list. Both are really wonderful and the former at least seems so under-rated by north Americans (many of the ones I know anyway).

    • Sydney Bristow

      This is my first year with paid vacation time, but the downside is that it is limited.

      I’m saving $200/month and my husband is saving separately for our travel this year.

      So far we have planned:
      PNW then the train to Glacier National Park in August (about 1.5 weeks total and the train was paid for completely with points for a sleeper car)

      We are considering:
      Long weekend in Newfoundland in June
      Christmas markets in Germany/Austria (if not this then back to the PNW in December)

    • NOLA

      The only possible big trip for me is Italy in late spring. One of my closest friends has a big birthday and one of our other friends has the same big decade birthday. She wants to go to Italy and I think that would be fun. I’ve been to Milan, Bologna, Ravenna, and Florence. Would love to go to Rome, so that may be our choice. We haven’t bee to Venice, either, but that may be a stretch from Rome. We’re still planning!

      • Anonymous

        I was pleasantly impressed with Trenitalia with the cost, speed, and quality of inter-Italy transport. Rome to Venice might be doable. We’ve got cheap tickets to / from Bologna so will spend a night there on the way back.

        • AIMS

          The trip by train from Venice to Rome isn’t bad at all. I think 3-4 hrs, and if you buy a first class seat it’s very comfortable (plus leaving/pulling into the Venice train station is an amazingly beautiful experience – you feel like you’re traveling on water). Just be sure to buy your tickets in advance on line – much cheaper and easier.

          • NOLA

            Yeah we’ve had a lot of good luck with the fast train that runs up through Italy. We’re still planning so it could happen and I do think Rome and Venice is do-able. I probably wouldn’t bother with first class but we’ll see.

        • Anonymous

          I’ll disagree and say that it’s generally advised not to buy your train tickets in advance for Italy and first class is a really unnecessary and adds quite a bit to your cost. I’ve taken the trains from Rome to Florence, Florence to Venice, Venice to La Spezia (then to CT), and La Spezia to Rome. We bought all of our tickets at the train station right before leaving and never had trouble with them selling out, and the long haul rides were all in high speed trains with very comfortable “second class” seats. Rome to Venice is not going to be a hard haul at all, so if that’s where you want to go, do it!

          • NOLA

            Thanks! Two of us have been to Italy and I don’t think any of us have been to Rome or Venice. I love Florence but I’ve been there a couple times and I spent a week or so in Bologna (we had an apartment). I would love to do the smaller cities in the Emilia-Romagna region (Modena, Parma) but my friends outvote me!

          • AIMS

            When we bought in advance (not day before but month before when making the rest of our reservations) the advance tickets for first class were same or cheaper than the day off economy tickets you could get at the station. Do what works for you. Either way is fine but I enjoyed the extra space and free glass of wine that came at no extra cost with advance planning.

    • Gail the Goldfish

      I travel a ton for work and try to squeeze in a free afternoon if I’m going somewhere interesting for work, but all my personal travel is going to be wedding-related this year because I’ve got 3 or 4 to go to, but all in fun places (thank you, awesome friends)–the Kentucky Derby (for a bachelorette-going to be awesome), California, Charleston, and Japan (if I can swing that one financially. Depends on how many frequent flier miles I rack up at work in the first quarter of the year. I’ve been before, but BF hasn’t, so I’d really like to).

    • Meara

      Probably a few cross country trips, as my BFF is having her first kid this spring, but at the moment the big trip is in March to Chile–the Atacama desert (which I think was on last year’s NYT list) and Santiago and possibly a few places in between there…

    • Anonypotamus

      Skiing in NE in February, Texas in April, and China in August. Biggest travel year we’ve had in years (unemployment and new baby), and first time traveling with 3 kids so wish me luck.

    • Anonymous

      My husband and I are flying into Paris for two weeks in May! We’ll be taking several days to take the train up to Brussels, Bruges, and Amsterdam. I can’t wait! Any recommendations are welcome! I’ve never been to any of those places, but my husband was in Paris once.

      • Care

        I loved Bruges, was underwhelmed by Brussels, and couldn’t make it to Amsterdam (but can’t wait to go!).

        My biggest advice is to check when things are open before you pick which days you are going where. I was only underwhelmed by Brussels because my main day there was a Monday and most things were closed. This is the case for many European cities and was unavoidable with my itinerary (we had to spend the Monday somewhere), but if you’re spending the majority of the 2 weeks in Paris, plan to spend the off days there (I was there the previous Monday and felt like a lot was open) and not in a city that you’ll have a limited time in.

        In Bruges, I stayed in the Grand Hotel Casselbergh and loved it. Fantastic location (though I feel like the whole town was in a fantastic location) and very nice. I paid for it with travel points so I don’t know about pricing. It felt extravagant but wasn’t actually that many points. Bruges probably isn’t everyone’s cup of tea because it is super touristy and overly charming, but I loved it for that. It probably helped that my visit there was on more of a relaxed day in the trip so I enjoyed just taking it easy and exploring.

        • Anonymous

          Thanks so much! I’ll have to make sure to avoid Mondays when exploring a city for only one day!

          • Amelia Bedelia

            And most cities stagger the “late night” openings throughout the attractions (museums). So research opening and closing times. I love the Renoir museum and gardens in Paris (though it was closed for renovations when I was there a few months ago — not sure when it reopens), and it is open late on a day several other attractions are closed. Really plan ahead if you want to pack a lot in and see a lot of museums.

        • Sydney Bristow

          I agree with this. Loved Bruges but we only went for a day trip and honestly could have skipped Brussels or just done it in a day.

          Amsterdam was fantastic. I loved the flower market and wandering around the streets (I think they’re called the nines). The Van Gogh museum was amazing as was the Rijksmuseum.

          • Sydney Bristow

            Oh and if you can, drive out into the Holland countryside to see the tulips and windmills.

            My SIL lives there and her friend took us out on a boat to see the windmills. It was my favorite part of our trip.

      • Amelia Bedelia

        I LOVE Paris (have been about 12 times) and Amsterdam. You will enjoy so much. I love Bruges and was also underwhelmed by Brussels. It may be that I have visited the remaining cities multiple times so I feel like I “know” them better? But to me, Brussels just felt a bit nondescript and sterile. I’m sure someone who explored it more will have a better view.
        I will say, though, that you are visiting several places in *only* two weeks. So, you will hit highlights in each city, but won’t have as much time to wander and “be.” If you are that type of traveler, then awesome. I was at one time, too. Now, I love spending more time in each city and devoting at least one full day to simply walking around and snapping pictures of oddities and eating in interesting places I simply “discover” on my day. One of the best trips I had was to spend a week in Paris, a week in the Cologne area of Germany and a week in Amsterdam. Each city just had so much to offer! That being said, you do you. Only you know how much time you like to devote to each place before moving on.

        In Paris, my husband and I always rent apartments (in the beginning, through Paris Perfect). We always stay in the 7th Arr. (with views of Eiffel – which is SO touristy, but I don’t care) and really know the neighbourhood now. We have a local market, boulangerie, restaurants, etc., and are there often enough to feel really part of it. I also love the parks and areas in this Arr., so I loved to be there at night to grab a glass of wine in random places while the city began to calm. And, honestly, Paris is so walkable that we take the metro only rarely (7th arr. is more removed from “main” destinations), but it is a great system. The highlights are highlights for a reason. Don’t skip them to try to do “undiscovered” on your very first trip. The sacre cour, louvre, orsay, place des vogues, Notre Dame (go all the way to the top!), Arc (again, go to the top!) — I really couldn’t recommend missing even one! but the gardens are even more exquisite! Luxembourg, tuilleries, bercy, Monceau. I love them all. My absolute favourite museum is d’orangerie. I love monet. Second favourite museum is Orsay — i love the architecture of the building almost as much as the masterpieces housed within.

        Okay. I’ll quit on Paris. I just love the city. oh, and a cycling tour of the city is a great way to get your bearings on your first or second day if you have never been.

        With Amsterdam, we have rented bikes for several days because it is SUCH a great biking city. we also did a bike tour the very first time we went. It was more geared to younger crowd, so I wasn’t a huge fan of the guide, but it was still fun. the van gogh museum is, of course, amazing. There are many museums worth visiting and the Anne Frank house is worth a visit, too. I loved cycling outside the city to the windmill pubs. people were so very friendly. the architecture of the churches in the main area are beautiful. Be careful as a pedestrian there, though, the cyclists will mow you down!

        • Amelia Bedelia

          sorry to dump a book (of obvious recommendations)! you just picked two cities I really love.

        • Anonymous

          +1 I also love Paris and I could not agree more with “the highlights are highlights for a reason” (in Paris, but also in general). If it’s your third trip, by all means do off-the-beaten-path stuff, but the first time you go there, do all the touristy stuff!

        • Anonymous

          Thanks so much!! Your comments are so helpful! We’ll be sending most of the time in Paris because I agree that I like to spend a lot of time in one place, but I also don’t get to do trips like this often so I want to see other places too. We’re just hitting Brussels/Bruges in two days on our way up to Amsterdam.

          • Care

            I would spend the night in Bruges instead of Brussels and make Brussels a quick stop on your way to Amsterdam. Bruges is even more charming at night when all of the day tourists leave. Brussels is much more of urban center with mixed areas, so I didn’t enjoy it as much at night.

      • Kath

        Go to the Sainte Chapelle in Paris! That, and Sacre Coeur, are my favorite parts in the city!! Also, make sure you go upstairs in the Sainte Chappelle- somehow we almost missed doing that!

        • Amelia Bedelia

          I AGREE!!!!!!!!!!!! Especially now that the renovations are complete. St. Chappelle is one of my faves. Can’t believe I forgot that.

    • Sophie

      Barcelona for the Ironman in October – probably 10 days. Then a 12 night holiday cruise to the Caribbean (we did one this Christmas/New Year and booked the exact same one for next year). In between we’ll probably do a couple of short drive getaways but I’d love to do a weekend trip to Chicago or SF so keeping my eyes open for deals.

    • Little Red

      My plan for 2016 is a two week African safari to Namibia and the Okavango Delta in Botswana and ending up at Victoria Falls. I’m going with two other friends.

      Travel is the closest thing I have to a passion in my life.

    • techgirl

      A week in Toronto in June with fiancé and a few days in NYC in Sept with mum and sister. A lot of my leave this year is schedule with a day here and there; hen party, wedding, weekends in London/Bath/Centre Parcs.

  10. Anonymous

    What is the best way you have found to freeze serving sizes of soup? I have been using ziploc freezer bags but they are a little too big for what I need them for, and the condensation as they thaw gets a little messy.

    • mascot

      The glass-lock containers are good since you can use them for re-heating and eating in addition to freezer storage.

    • Anonymous

      Glass canning jars – maybe pint size. Just be sure to leave some head room for expansion as they freeze.

      • Meg Murry

        +1 to glass canning jars (wide mouth), with plastic lids, like these. Then you can just loosen the lid to microwave and not even need a bowl. Just leave plenty of head space – I usually leave at least an inch, and only put the lids on loosely, then tighten lids the next day.
        http://www.amazon.com/Ball-Regular-Mouth-Storage-Caps/dp/B0000BYC4B

        If you have more limited freezer space, Gladware freezerware, because it’s rectangular and stacks on top of each other. Spend the extra for the freezer type – the regular will crack at some point going in and out of the freezer.

    • emeralds

      This sounds ridiculous, but glass salsa jars! They’re the perfect size. Just make sure you get the ones with straight sides. I also use Pyrex in a pinch (with plastic wrap over the top, under the lid).

    • Anonymous

      I freeze soup in pint and quart size paper ice cream/soup containers that I bought off Amazon. I bought them for ice cream, but ended up mostly using it for soup.

    • Baconpancakes

      I save the round, plastic takeout containers egg drop soup comes in and freeze those. When they inevitably get stained and gross from tomato-based sauces, I don’t feel bad about recycling them.

    • R in Boston

      Zip-top bags! Put them in your freezer on a cookie sheet initially so they freeze flat, then you can stack them. Takes up basically no room.

    • Anon academic

      Pyrex 2 cup bowls with plastic lids have worked beautifully for me for years.

    • nutella

      I still think ziplocs are the best – various sizes and when a liquid is dispersed among such a large surface area it makes thawing SO fast. I’d maybe buy quart-sized bags if the gallons are too big for you. (Although I’d just use the gallon but clip the top/extra space so the liquid doesn’t freeze there but stays contained a little smaller.)

  11. Easy recipes

    Does anyone have quick, simple meal ideas? My favorites are meals you can cook in one pot, in under 20 minutes, and include fewer than 5 ingredients. I saw 2 great ideas in the thread yesterday afternoon, and am wondering if there are other ideas.

    • X

      If you dn’t count the spices, this recipe only has 5 ingredients and takes less than 20 minutes…

      Food Lab 15 Minute Pantry Tomato Soup

      3 tablespoons unsalted butter
      1 large onion, finely diced (about 1 1/2 cups)
      Pinch of red pepper flakes
      1/2 teaspoon dried oregano
      1 tablespoon all-purpose flour
      2 28-ounce cans whole tomatoes, with their juice
      1/2 cup whole milk or heavy cream
      Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
      2 tablespoons whiskey, vodka, or brandy (optional)
      2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
      2 tablespoons chopped fresh herbs, such as parsley, basil, or chives (optional)

      Melt the butter in a medium saucepan over medium-high heat. Add the onions and cook, stirring frequently, until softened but not browned, 6 to 8 minutes. Add the pepper flakes and oregano and cook, stirring, until fragrant, 30 seconds. Add the tomatoes, with their juice, and stir, scraping the flour up off the bottom of the pan. Add the milk or cream and cook, stirring occasionally and breaking up the tomatoes with the spoon, until the whole thing comes to a boil. Reduce to a simmer and cook for 3 minutes.

      Remove the soup from the heat and puree using an immersion blender. Or transfer to a standing blender, in batches if necessary, and puree starting on low speed and gradually increasing to high, then return to the pan. Season the soup to taste with salt and pepper. Stir in the whiskey, if using, and bring to a simmer. Serve immediately, topping each serving with a generous drizzle of olive oil, a sprinkle of herbs, and if you like, a crack or two of freshly ground pepper.

      I’m planning to make it later today and parcel it out into individual containers for next week’s lunches…

    • Anon

      Crockpot salsa chicken. Put chicken in crockpot, dump salsa on top, turn on, and walk away. I don’t love chicken in general, but this is BEYOND easy and results in flavorful meat.

      • Anonymous

        This might be my new Friday night dinner. DH and I make salsa just about weekly. By the end of the week, the salsa is… not so fresh anymore. He either eats it anyway or I throw it away. But this recipe sounds like the perfect way to use the salsa AND eat something healthier than delivery pizza at the end of the week! Thank you!

      • Summerstorm

        This. We have it at least once a week. We dump everything out of the crockpot, and at the end we throw some cheese on top and put it in the oven to bubble and brown. Delicious.

        • Meg Murry

          Yup. Or I make a huge crock pot of it on the weekend, shred the chicken and freeze in smaller amounts to use on crazy days.

      • Constant Reader

        In addition to the chicken & salsa I also like to add in minced adobo chilis, chili powder or cayenne pepper and minced garlic/garlic clove if you have. The chilis give it that extra umph and spice. So good!

      • Meg Murry

        we do this either with enchilada sauce, or adobo sauce instead – usually from a can, but sometimes this recipe if I have the ingredients on hand (I usually double the chili powder, garlic and oregano)

        http://www.food.com/recipe/mexican-enchilada-sauce-109685

        If you make a ton of it you can shred and freeze to use later to make burritos/nachos/burrito bowls/burrito salads etc (basically DIY anything on the Chipotle menu)

    • AIMS

      Have you seen Martha Stewart’s one pot pasta? You basically do everything in one big pan.

      Do you like soups? I find soups make great easy meals in the colder months. One of my favorites: saute some garlic in olive oil, remove and save for later; add 2 cans of drained chick peas & 4 cups veggie or chicken broth, bring to boil. As it cooks, mash chickpeas a bit with back of a wooden spoon or masher. When everything is heated through, add some fresh parsley (optional) and sprinkle with some parmesan. Add toast and you have a lovely meal. I also like to throw in some spinach or kale at the very end for some extra greens.

    • tesyaa

      Not cooked in a pot, but IQF salmon from Costco (I’ve seen both wild and farmed salmon) is a super quick and easy meal. You can even cook them without defrosting. 15-20 minutes at 425 if defrosted; add another 5 minutes if still frozen. I usually “glaze” by drizzling with honey, soy sauce and/or sesame oil before baking.

    • Sparrow

      I included the blog names instead of links to prevent moderation.

      Tacos – brown some ground beef, turkey or chicken and add seasonings
      Korean Beef – recipe on Mel’s Kitchen Cafe; might be more than 5 ingredients, but it comes together quickly
      Homemade Crunchy Taco Hamburger Helper – Iowa Girl Eats; I omit the shallots and cheese
      Blackened Tilapia – Once Upon a Chef
      Pasta & meat sauce – brown some Italian sausage and add a jar of your favorite pasta sauce

    • Tetra

      I’ve been on a soup/stew kick, and with sausage or chicken it can cook up in about 25 minutes. I saute onions, add garlic, then add preferred spices. Add sausage or chicken pieces and cook. Then add water (or stock) and bring to boil. Add greens or other veggies (I did mustard greens last week, they were great) and uncooked rice. Simmer with the lid on for 15-20 minutes, or until rice is tender. You can do different themes with this, like curry or gumbo or Italian.

    • Anon

      Do you like risotto? I can get it done in about 20 minutes. It’s attended time because you have to stir but I find the whole thng very zen.

      Ingredients – arborio rice, a shallot, olive oil and/or butter, broth and some hard cheese. I throw in frozen peas or fresh baby spinach at the end if I have it around

      • Anon

        Ok I made myself hungry suggesting risotto and I’m working from home so I just made some. Start time:11:55, end time 12:18, so 23 minutes. I didn’t have frozen peas so I picked some of the firmer leaves from a box of salad greens I had in the fridge (baby beet greens, baby spinach and radicchio) and I’m eating it now. Total comfort food and the greens are really good in it.

    • Meg Murry

      Technically 2 pots or 1 pot plus rice cooker or bowl, but:

      rice + protein (usually boneless skinless chicken breast) + vegetable (usually broccoli or cauliflower) + container of stir fry sauce or Indian simmer sauce

      If you make enough rice to have some leftover, make fried rice in the next day or two:
      leftover rice + veggies + egg + soy sauce or tamari

    • Idea

      For the fall/winter, I cut an acorn squash in 2, scoop out the seeds & yucky parts, add a pat of butter and a bit of maple syrup to each half, and put it in the crockpot on low, all day. You could also bake whole potatoes or sweet potatoes in the crock pot like this.

      Then I get home and cook smoked sausage (I use turkey sausage) in a skillet.

      So, 2 pans, sorry – crock pot, and skillet or grill pan.

      So good and easy, we probably eat it about once every 2 weeks.

  12. Anonymous

    A finance poll –

    How many of you contribute financially to your parents? If so, how much do you contribute? If not, would you if they needed it?

    My husband and I come from a culture where the older generation does not save for retirement (usually because they do not have the financial means to) and traditionally the kids take care of the parents as they get older. His dad is almost 70 and wants to retire. My husband has taken a look at his parents expenses, and they need about an extra $1000/mo for his dad to retire. They have low expenses due to living on a low salary their whole life, very low mortgage payment thanks to a loan mod a few years back, and some money coming in from social security and renting out a room in their home. My husband and his brother are willing to split the extra $1000, with each of us contributing about $500/mo. I am happy to do it, we are very fortunate. My husband’s brother is equally well off, but his wife does not want to commit to contributing money every month. If brother can’t contribute, we will just contribute the $1000/mo ourselves.

    My sister-in-law is not from our cultural background, so we can totally understand her position, but just curious how many of you all would feel that way?

    • Completely anon

      I wouldn’t like there monthly fixed cost aspect – would much rather give $6k than $500 a month for what would seem to me to be in perpetuity. Is there a way you can find other sources (govt?) for your FIL? Can he do a reverse line of equity?

    • Anonymous

      I’m not sure I wouldn’t agree, but I really wouldn’t be eager to be locked into a monthly expense like that. It’s not my culture to not save for retirement, I need to save for my own retirement! I would worry about what would happen if something happens to my family’s finances. Would cutting off that $500 a month mean sending a 75 year old man back to work? $1000 a month for the next 30 years is $360,000. That’s a lot. How sure are we that this is all they need? Do they have equity in their home? Can they sell that? What about if they have expensive medical needs?

      I’m not saying I wouldn’t get there in the end, but I would have reservations to work through.

    • Anonymous

      I would totally support my parents if needed. They don’t need it, have plenty in savings and property as well as pension, BUT $1000 a month is totally doable for us and I would even want to increase that. Thanks to my parents, I am debt free ( they paid for my B school plus wedding) and I am from a culture that values kids being there to support parents if needed (Asian). No question.

      I am where I am thanks to parental support. We are very lucky to be doing well, and hence very grateful.

      • Anonymous

        Same. Asian. Would completely and gladly support my parents. Thankfully they’re amazing savers and can take care of themselves, but I still plan on supporting them in the future when they both completely retire.

        $1,000 a month compared to what they went through in their lives to ensure my future and well-being is peanuts.

      • Anonymous

        Not (east) Asian but also from a culture with familiar traditions/structures that differ from the white “norm” in the US, and I agree. Everything I have accomplished in my life is built on a base of my parents love and support for me. It’s unlikely to be necessary (or sadly, possible for me) but I would happily help support them financially, and currently do give them a fair amount of non financial support, mostly in terms of helping them to support their own elderly parents. My extended family in general is pretty loose with their purse strings, at a certain level we definitely consider any wealth accumulated to be a familial resource (definitely a cultural thing). I have benefited greatly from that in my life. The caveat being that my family is caring, supportive, and trustworthy on an emotional level (also an enormous privilege) and our closeness and openness with money is based on that, and not the other way around.

        • Care

          I’m from the white norm but feel this same way and my extended family is very similar about wealth being familial. I want to eventually find a home that could reasonably accommodate my parents if necessary (probably more likely for health or loneliness than financial).

    • Anonymous

      In your culture, do retired parents usually live with children?

      I think that I’d gladly split the $1,000 to keep inlaws in their own place if they can live on their own (for their sake; with other inlaws, it might be for both of our sakes). With a solo parent / inlaw (or if I couldn’t afford it), I might want the inlaw to sell the house and come live with me (or alternate with siblings to split the year). More so we could make sure that the lone aging inlaw is healthy and still alive (my retired parents live far away and this is OK for now but will not be OK forever, especially if my mother goes first).

    • Two Cents

      We come from a similar culture (Indian) and we contribute $800 a month to my in-laws. We can afford it and are happy to do it. I would like to contribute something for my parents as well but they are fiercely independent and would not accept the money. With that said, I fully expect (and hope) my parents will move in with us when they are no longer able to take care of themselves, so I suspect we will be covering them financially soon enough.

      If you want to do it and can afford it, do it. If you can only afford to do it for a certain length of time, do that.

      • Anonymous

        I have to say, giving my parents money on a regular basis is decidedly not part of my culture (white American here!) but it is touching to read posts like this. I have a few Asian/Indian friends and it’s amazing to see how close they are to their families (was esp. amazed at my friend’s mom who moved in with her for a year when she gave birth!).

        I couldn’t do it, but good for you.

    • Marilla

      I would definitely contribute – my husband and I talked about willingness to do that early in our marriage. What ended up happening instead is that my parents ended up moving into our house because of medical circumstances – they contribute a decent chunk to our household expenses each month but nowhere near what they would need to maintain an independent apartment or house. Re: your question about the impact of culture, it’s not a super typical arrangement in our community/circle of friends, but helping and respecting parents is an important value in our culture and particularly to both me and my husband.

      • Amelia Bedelia

        this. It has to have been something that was discussed early in marriage.
        My husband and I always discussed that we would support both sets of parents if at all possible. Currently, my parents live in an apartment we own (and watch our kid three days a week). My father is fiercly independent and didn’t really WANT to do this at first, but he didn’t have enough to retire and he feels like he is contributing by watching our kid. And don’t get me wrong, they are contributing. It is more countable in non-money ways, as the cost of day-care doesn’t match the rental value of the apartment. But it is worht it for everyone. They love it and we love it. We pay for all of their utilities and sometimes by food and pay expenses when we all go out as a “family.” So, honestly, we are giving them about 3k a month. That being said, my mother cooks at least two nights a week for my family and sometimes does laundry and they always step in for last minute help. Plus, I love having them near and my husband does as well (in his culture, it is normal for parents to move in with adult kiddos and have one big family). It isn’t my culture, but I love it.

        With husband’s parents, his older brother “houses” them because that is the tradition. we give them about 1k a month to help with the support. Every once in a while this burns me a bit because his brother makes about 4X what we do and lives in a LCOL with a huge house, etc. But then I remember what my husband willing shoulders for my parents and I shut the hell up.

    • Senior Attorney

      I feel like $500/month is a very small price to pay and I would happily pay it. And hindsight is 20/20, of course, but this seems like something that your BIL and SIL definitely should have discussed before marriage!

      • Red Velvet

        This was one of the subjects I did discuss with my boyfriend before we decided to get married. I made a very long list of things I thought we needed to have out in the open before dedicating our lives to each other, and my friends though I was mad for including things like caring for our parents!

        He’s South American but lives with me in the UK. As we will be able to physically help my parents, we decided to send his parents financial contributions every month. We will also pay for their medical insurance when they retire.

      • Anonymous

        To us, $500/month is a lot of money. I would strongly resent being asked to give it to my in-laws instead of putting it in my kid’s college account.

    • Meg Murry

      We are having these kinds of conversations with my in-laws now. FYI, if you are sending him $1000 every month, and at some point one of them needs to go into a nursing home, those payments might screw with Medicaid/Medicare eligibility. Rather than sending a check every month (or depositing into their accounts) it might make more sense for you and BIL to pay some of the bills directly.

      How much is owed on the house/how much is the mortgage? Would it make more sense for them to “sell” you the house and then you and BIL pay the mortgage, instead of giving them $1000 every month for a mortgage? Because if they need to go into a nursing home and need Medicaid/Medicare to pay for it, the house will be sold and no one else in the family will see a dime of it.

      • Anonymous

        This might be a great option and might help get the sister in law on side. Definitely worth exploring IMHO

    • Ellen

      I do NOT do this. Dad has alot of money and he subsidises ME and pays my bills and all I have to do is sign a few things each year. He even has the acountant sign the tax return’s for me and I am NOT even sure if that is LEGAL. How can an acountant sign my tax return’s now without me even seeing it? That does not make sense to me. FOOEY! I think I would be reponsibel for him and that is NOT fair, but dad says he does NOT have time to explain it to me and does not want to pay the acountant to explain it to me. He will NOT file until mabye March, so anyone in the hive will have time to give their opinion’s. YAY!!!

    • Baconpancakes

      My parents make more in their retirement from military pensions, investments, and social security than my SO and I currently do, but if my parents needed help, I would absolutely give it to them. My grandmother lived with us for a couple of years before she died, so it also seems natural that I would take care of my mother if she needed it and I could do it. Since I’m more career focused than my mother, I’d probably end up hiring help for her instead of doing most of the work myself, or I’d move her to an “independent living” apartment close by my house.

      She’s said she doesn’t want to ever live in my house (because she wouldn’t be in control of the kitchen), but if she consented, I’d have her move in.

    • Anon

      I’m facing a similar issue. My in-laws have asked us to start contributing monthly to their expenses. I am strongly against it f0r a few reasons.

      My in-laws have been fiscally irresponsible for decades, and I am against subsidizing this irresponsibility when they have options such as selling the house they can’t afford. My parents are extremely conservative financially, so it’s also hard for me to relate to the decisions they’ve made/are making.

      While we could afford to support them monthly, that would of course reduce the amount that we’re able to save for our own future. So far we have not contributed to them, but I foresee that this will be an ongoing issue for us.

      • Anonymous

        Right this. Sorry, it’s not my culture at all that we don’t save for our retirement ourselves! And I would not be willing to support them in lieu of them taking care of themselves if they have money tied up in a house. And I’d resent strongly being asked to do so.

    • Anon

      When my husband’s mom moved to assisted living and then to a nursing home before she passed she needed about $700ish more per month to make the finances work. We contributed $300/ month. Husband has four siblings but only he and one other sibling were willing/able to contribute. We did not live close enough to help out much other than financially so it felt good to be able to help financially. His two siblings who lived nearby contributed time rather than money.

      We did not tell his mom that anyone was paying. She would not have wanted to be a burden in any way and none of us wanted her worrying about it when her health was so poor. As far as she knew her pension and social security were covering everything.

      I expect that someday I will have to support my own mother in the same way and I will be happy to do it.

      • the gold digger

        That is how my mom and her six siblings handled my grandmother. (My grandfather died years ago.) My grandparents were farmers and even though they lived very thriftily, there just wasn’t much money to save. My grandmother moved into assisted living at the age of 94. When the money from the sale of her house – $90K – ran out, my mom and her siblings paid the $3K a month fee without telling my grandma. She would have been mortified.

        (Related story: My aunt took my grandma to buy some new shoes. Grandma was horrified at the prices and insisted the shoes should not cost more than $12. She paid that as my aunt mouthed to the clerk, “I’ll come back with the rest of the money.”)

        I would definitely help with my mom, although she is so responsible that I probably will not need to.

        I would not, however, have been willing to help my husband’s parents. They didn’t need it, fortunately – but for all the booze they bought, they clearly had surplus cash.

    • Anonymous

      Husband and I are both from cultures where parents finance their own retirement. Our willingness to help our parents is primarily limited to non-monetary contributions. Husband serves as trustee for his divorced parents’ separate trusts (active for one, successor if needed for the other). Dad will never need any financial assistance. Mom may request help at some point due to poor choices; we are not willing to contribute financially, but will help her navigate her options if it gets to that point. My mother has very little savings through no fault of her own but currently lives with my sister and raises her children. If that situation changed, husband and I might be willing to move her in with us or purchase a condo as an “investment” and have her live in it, depending on our financial situation at that time. We probably would not give her cash, and certainly not on a regular basis. We enjoy giving her nice gifts and taking her on trips from time to time. But our first priorities are our own retirement savings and our child’s education.

    • HnH

      (Asian) not that our culture doesn’t promote saving, but many of us started out as immigrants who left everything behind and started from scratch. My parents live frugally, but they don’t make a whole lot and therefore their savings are not awesome either. I’d take care of them and the in-laws, too, no questions asked. There’s a special hell for us Asians if we aren’t filial to our parents.

      • Yup

        There’s a special hell for us Asians if we aren’t filial to our parents.

        Ha ha, yes! These comments about “resenting” contributing money to their parents/in-laws is baffling. I could understand if your parents abused you, but if they were loving and kind and took care of you, why the heck wouldn’t you try to support them?

        • Also Asian

          There’s a difference between “Hey, some disaster happened and I need help” and “I totally didn’t bother to save or buy insurance or move to a smaller house and now my life is a mess.” I see it as a collaborative effort.

          • HnH

            Indeed there is a difference when the parents are not financially responsible… but my parents totally are and still don’t have enough savings for retirement because of reasons I mentioned: starting out later in life because they moved here with nothing but their clothes in their 40’s (the house we sold just about covered the plane tickets), working low-pay jobs because of language barriers and inability to go back to school. My brother and I grew up sharing a bedroom because our family lived in a 2 bedroom apartment, so no, some people can be frugal and do save, but the amount they have available to save is still peanuts. Why would I resent my parents’ meager savings or turn a blind eye to their lack of resources once they retire, considering the aforementioned circumstances?

          • Also Asian

            I agree. I was mainly trying to answer the question there. Your parents can be very loving etc., but still have dug themselves into a very bad situation. I don’t believe it’s the child’s responsibility to dig them out if that is the case.

        • Anonymous

          Because my parents abdicated all responsibility and made me pay for college on my own. Because they were totally irresponsible and did not prepare for their own retirement. Because I shouldn’t have to sacrifice my own future and my kid’s education to make up for my parents’ mistakes.

          • Anonymous

            And also because the expectation in my culture is that parents take care of their own retirement, meaning that absent some unforeseen disaster, any parent who doesn’t have adequate retirement savings failed to fulfill his own responsibilities as a citizen and as a parent.

          • Marion

            Ugh, I think this assumes financial irresponsibility when it could just be other priorities. My mom was unexpectedly a single mom by the time I was born. Her family was in another country. She had to balance the hours she worked with the hours she could get babysitting because at some point she was paying out more than came in. She scrimped on everything for herself so that I could do all the extracurriculars that got me into shiny prestigious schools and my shiny prestigious job that makes the money I’m willing to share. She helped foot the bill of the internships that got me in the door of my industry too. I also had serious health issues as a kid that had extra costs. She made the decision to prioritise my future over hers, now I will happily repay her kindness (and with a lot less sacrifice).

            That being said these things can cause difficulties in relationships. My DH and I agreed early on that we would have a pot for family expenses and a pot for family fun that we both pay into proportionate to income and that the rest of our respective money is ours to spend as we wish. This stops fights about what I give my mom and means I can stay out of arguments between he and his ex on where my stepdaughters are schooled etc.

      • Also Asian

        I’ll be toasting marshmallows in that hell then :) I don’t expect to take care of my parents beyond outlier emergencies, nor do they expect me to.

      • Anonymous

        Yes. My parents are extremely frugal, and extremely good at saving. Every dollar they don’t have for retirement is because they put it into their children’s college funds.And they still did save for themselves. But I would like to give them more, so they can live better, do fun things, relax.

        But even if they weren’t all sorts of amazing with their money, I would still want to provide for them. Because I’m not going to that hell.

    • moss

      I’m white and I send my mom $200 a month. She spends probably about that much on my kids. It’s a bit of a symbolic dance but I don’t mind doing it as long as she doesn’t give me cr@p about not helping her which she does sometimes.

    • Anonymous BigLaw Associate

      Yeah, both my husband and I support our parents, and his grandmother. Our parents were immigrants and/or refugees and really poor. A lot of stuff is just direct billed to me for my sibling, and we provide money when our parents need it. We bought them a condo and they all live together in a retirement community pretty close to us (crazy I know, but it prevents any of them from being in assisted living for the time being). On average, I think we spend $3,500 a month on caring/providing for our parents, grandparents, and siblings. I am sure some would think this is insane, but there really isn’t any other option for us.

    • Anon

      Also (South)Asian. I would contribute in a heartbeat . We do something similar for my in-laws (same culture) and would do the same for my parents if they needed money. Similar to what others said, my parents came as poor immigrants to this country and clawed their way to up middle-class at a late age in life. They did not pay for college for any of their four kids and, while that would’ve been nice, it doesn’t change my feelings towards them.

    • Alana

      The sister-in-law should have known what level of filial piety is expected. In cultures where parents pay for their children’s education until they complete it, including graduate school, the children are expected to support their parents in old age, right?

  13. First Year

    I’m a first year feeling a little frustrated. There is NO WORK to be done. I’m in a very small group (just 20 attorneys nationwide) and they group recently hired 3 new associates. We’ve been here 2-3 months and there is nothing for us to do. I played on my phone all day yesterday. Between the 3 of us, we’ve asked everyone in the group for work repeatedly. Advice?

    • Anonymous

      Figure out who the busiest partner in your office is and ask them for work even if it’s a different area. Any first year can do first year level work in any group since you know nothing anyway.

    • Betty

      Don’t sit idle. As anon at 9:57 said, ask around. I would approach it by going to busy partner, with your department’s clearance, and saying, “I’ve heard Y dept is really busy, and I have time. Is there anything I can do to help out?” A couple of other possibilities: Read trade articles for your practice group, find topic and approach a partner with an offer to co-write an article (which means that you will do the work) or CLE. Take on a pro bono case. Take CLE.

      • Anonymous

        +1 to this. It beefs up your resume if the no work problem continues and job security becomes an issue – they are more likely to retain the person who spent the slow period writing articles vs playing on their phone

      • TBK

        I agree with this — fantastic time to knock out your CLE and to write an article. But can you get any insight on what’s going on? Is it possible they hired up in anticipation for a bunch of work that’s coming down the road (e.g., are there new regulations in your area and they’re expecting clients to need lots of help sorting through them)? If it’s that, that should give you more information about when you’re going to get busy and also allay any fears about them just overhiring. Obviously if it goes on and on with no work and no ability to meet your billables then you want to look for a new job. But you really need to figure out the story before you decide that there’s never going to be enough work for you.

        • Anonymous BigLaw Associate

          This is all so credited. I went through this same experience, but as a mid-level lateral. I was senior enough to ask the right questions and to know that enough work wasn’t going to come in the door anytime soon. Within a month, I knew I had to look for another job, but it make take you longer to figure that out since you are more junior.

    • Stormtrooper

      Perfect time for CLE credits, look for seminars to attend, write some articles, get out to your local bar meetings and sign up for a committee, volunteer for a cause you care about, brush up your linked in page, set up lunches/coffee/drinks with contacts, find articles interesting to your clients and send the articles to the clients, check out your firm bio and see if it could use some updating or polishing…. Basically, I see down time as a way to make sure I’m up to date on my educational requirements, brush up my resume and keep in touch with contacts.

    • Anonymous

      Honestly as a former Biglaw associate who had this experience, this is probably ok if it ends soon, but if it continues for a few more months with you regularly asking for work, I’d start looking for a new job. If you get a review saying you should be more “aggressive” in seeking out work or something, start looking immediately. If they over-hired and have no work for you, they won’t hesitate to throw you under the bus and do a stealth layoff. Not trying to freak you out – just keep it in the back of your mind.

  14. CPA Lady

    Has anyone seen cute structured sweaters/ blazer sweaters anywhere recently? Especially petite ones. Im so tired of those long sweaters that make me look like an advertisement for clinical depression medicine.

    • Anonforthis

      I know you’re being funny, but that isn’t. If you’re able to get up and manage life, then you don’t look like an advertisement for clinical depression medicine.
      (I’m honestly not trying to be snarky!)

      • been there done that

        Should see have said functional-yet-depressed person?
        You can be clinically depressed – if I’m understanding the term “clinical” it means “diagnosed” and still appear functional, with a job, a family, etc.
        But she’s right in that in the ads, the “before” people are often wearing bathrobes or similar outfits.

        I’ve been diagnosed and I thought it was funny, but then I guess I’m feeling better #thankslexapro

      • anon

        Oh come on, I have clinical depression and I found it funny, because it’s true! And with my clinical depression, I can still get up and manage life.

      • Anonymama

        I don’t think she’s saying that figuratively, but literally she resembles the people in the actual ads for clinical depression that are in tv all the time (where they are sitting on a couch in a cozy sweater/wrapped in a blanket, with a blue filter, looking out a window etc)

    • anon

      Bahahahahah, +1

      Piggy backing off this- I’d love some recs for petite blazers/blazer sweaters. I am 5’2/110 lbs and always look like I’m playing dress up when my blazers come down to what feels like my mid thigh. Is my only option to tailor this problem away?! can that even be done?

    • ITDS

      Boden has a shorter cardigan. My current catalog actually shows their two lengths side by side. Not sure if it comes in petite, but since it’s “cropped” it’s got to be closer to the length you’re looking for.

    • Snickety

      Talbots. Big sale right now, lots of petite sizes. Check the double face open jacket (not a knit, but looks similar to a sweater jacket), textured knit jacket. I just put both in my shopping bag last night.

    • Anonymous BigLaw Associate

      Kate Spade has some awesome sweater/blazers and cardigan that actually fit.

  15. Knee Injury

    I recently tore my ACL and MCL, and I’m looking for any insight into how to plan around my surgery and rehab.

    I have a very flexible job where I work about 35 hours per week. I’m also in a part-time grad school program that I spend about 20 hours per week on. My school is a large campus that requires a lot of walking to get around. I think I would be able to manage skipping about two weeks of classes for surgery.

    Any thoughts about whether I need to take a semester off of class to make more time for recovery? Another option is that I could postpone surgery until the summer. This would have the disadvantage of delaying a return to being active, which is a big part of my life, and of course it would delay my graduation. I also have a tropical trip planned in June where I’d like to be able to hike, zip line, paddle board, etc.

    Any advice appreciated from anyone who has been through something similar, and TIA!!

    • Veronica Mars

      Have you talked to your school’s disability coordinator? My university had golf carts that they drove injured students around on. It may be a good idea to reach out to them to see how they could help you attend class if you decide to do the surgery during the semester.

        • Wildkitten

          My sister got a short term disability tag for her car, which is helpful both because you don’t have to walk as far with your injury, but also because you save time finding a parking spot, when you are moving slower and everything else takes more time.

          • Anon

            Great idea, thank you. So true that everything is taking more time now, even pre-surgery.

    • samesies!

      Ask your doctor what expected recovery time is. You likely do not need to take a full semester off, but you should ask your doctor. You will likely want to take off as much time to rest after the surgery, so plan your class schedule that week accordingly. It may depend on your state, but if you need a doctor’s note to get a handicapped tag for your car (assuming it is your left knee and not your right), you should definitely pursue that with your doctor. Give yourself extra time to get where you need to go. Crutching takes forever. Make sure you have supplies ahead of time: backpack, socks if you are in a winter climate, etc. I did this in grad school and professors were very accommodating both in class I needed to miss week of/immediately following surgery as well as in saving space for me in the front, giving me work ahead of time, being ok if I had to leave early/enter late, etc. I also took two classes pass/fail to help. If your weather permits, wearing skirts/dresses was SO much easier. Trying to put pants on when you cannot bend a leg is very, very difficult.

      Above all, do no skimp your PT and DO NOT rush your recovery. Or else your athleticism will never be the same. Give yourself time.

      • Knee Injury

        Thanks for the great advice! It’s so frustrating how a freak skiing accident if going to have a huge effect on my life for the next several months

      • Knee Injury

        Thanks for the great advice! It’s so frustrating how a freak skiing accident if going to have a huge effect on my life for the next several months.

  16. DisenchatedinDC

    I’m making a prime rib this weekend for the first time. Any tips/advice/foolproof links to follow? I already have it and it is a 3 rib/6.5# cut.

    • Amelia Earhart

      How I’ve done it successfully in the past is: season liberally with salt, pepper, and garlic salt. Start at 450 for 30 mins, drop to 275 until it’s a few degrees below your desired doneness and bring it out to rest/finish cooking. Enjoy.

      • JJ

        That’s exactly how I cook it, as well.

        For a dipping sauce, mix together grated jarred horseradish (it’s refrigerated), sour cream, salt, white pepper (or black, if you don’t have white), and lemon juice to your desired taste. I could eat that stuff by the bowl-full.

    • Anon

      Such a nice cut of meat, treat it well. Pre salt it up to a day ahead, and let it come to room temp before roasting. I like a high heat for a crisp exterior and medium rare interior. Equally important to let it rest after roasting and before carving. Make a nice horseradish cream to go with and by all means make an easy pan sauce from the drippings while the roast is resting. Yum!

      Molly Stevens can do no wrong in my book. She has a blog and is published in Fine Cooking. I’m sure you can find her very detailed advice online.

    • Jennifer

      Most meat recipes expect you to be starting with room-temperature beef. So liberally season with salt/pepper/whatever, then leave it out on the counter for an hour or so, then start cooking.

  17. Ugh

    So, I just found out I have herpes (Type II). I’ve never had any symptoms, and I had no idea I had it. Apparently many doctors don’t test for it unless you have symptoms or specifically ask, so I definitely haven’t been tested for it in the past few years, and may not have been ever (despite getting annual STD testing for other things). This time, I asked them to test EVERYTHING so they tested it. I’ve gone through the full range of emotions since I found out, and spent quite a lot of time learning more about it (thanks Google) and also read some of the past posts here. I’m currently single, so thankfully no issues telling an SO, but I now of course worry about finding someone non-judgmental to date in the future who’s willing to take this on. Reading about it helped with that a little. I understand that it’s very common (20% of adults have it, although that seems hard to believe), and that it’s harder to pass around if you aren’t currently having an outbreak (which I never have), and if you use condoms (which I always have), so it’s less likely (but not impossible) that I’ve passed it on.

    Anyway, here’s my question. I obviously plan on telling any future partners, no question. My question is what past partners I should tell. I want to do the right thing. Because it’s so common, and it’s uncurable, doctors figure that people will get tested when/if they have an outbreak, and there’s not as much reason to test someone without symptoms. Of course, the main reason to know is so that you don’t continue to pass it along. I had 3 partners in 2015, had 3 in 2014, and before that was in a long-term relationship. I could have gotten it from any of those partners, or possibly even before that. Given that it’s less likely that I passed it on (I’m female and have no symptoms, and we used condoms EVERY time), do I call all of them and tell them to get tested? Just the ones from 2015? Thoughts? The conversations will be awkward obviously but I don’t really want that to factor into my decision. It’s more about unnecessarily freaking people out vs. allowing them to make the decision to get tested.

    • Anonymous

      I wouldn’t tell anyone. It’s not a big deal and it’s part of the risk you assume when you have sex with people.

      • Baconpancakes

        What?! No! WTF. You have to tell them.

        If you’re super super embarrassed, there are anonymous texting services that will send messages telling your previous partners they may have been exposed.

        • Anonymous

          No you really don’t. No one told her. It’s not HIV. You should always assume anyone you’re sleeping with has Herpes unless you’ve both gone together to get tested. I’d be really weirded out if an random one night stand called to tell me about this.

          • cbackson

            And I would definitely want to know. I think that you have to err on the side of giving people the information. The fact that you, personally, would be weirded out doesn’t really bear on the ethics of this. No, it’s not HIV in that it won’t kill you. But it is an illness that is communicable, incurable, and can under some circumstances have a significant impact.

            The fact that one partner should assume that there’s a risk doesn’t mean that the other partner has the right to conceal a known risk.

            FWIW, I feel the same way about the colleague who didn’t tell me that she’d exposed me to whooping cough. So it’s not about the fact that this is an STI.

          • Baconpancakes

            Same – it’s obviously not the same as HIV, but if you made out with someone who’d just been tested positive for strep throat and they didn’t tell you, you’d be pretty pissed off.

            If you’re assuming that everyone should assume all risk and never have sex before they see a negative test result, you’re also assuming it’s ok to have sex and expose someone to genital warts or chlamydia without telling them – after all, it’s on them that they didn’t ask you and make you show them a negative test result, right? Sure, you assume some risk every time you have a sexual encounter, but that doesn’t make it ok to withhold pertinent health information.

          • Anonymous

            She’s not concealing a known risk since she isn’t sleeping with them any more. It’s also not pertinent health information at all. Even doctors do not want to test for this because it is unnecessary to do so.

            I don’t think this has anything to do with whooping cough or chlaymidia. Completely different diseases and not what she is asking about.

          • Ugh

            Just to clarify, all, I do plan to tell future partners. My question is about whether to call past partners and tell them to get tested. So it’s not about whether or not to conceal something, it’s about whether to actively reach out and tell someone about something that happened in the past. Would you want a past partner to call you, in this circumstance? Again, it’s not that likely that I gave it to them.

          • Anonymous

            “You should always assume anyone you’re sleeping with has Herpes” — is this a thing?

            I always assume that anyone I’m sleeping with will tell me if they have an STD/STI because that’s being a decent human being. Always use protection in addition of course.

          • Anonymous

            Anon at 11:48, I think she meant because so many have it and don’t know about it (because it doesn’t cause symptoms in many people). I don’t think she meant “everyone you sleep with is lying to you!”

          • Anonymous

            You should always assume they have herpes because most people don’t know they have it.

        • Senior Attorney

          Why? She’s never had any symptoms, she’s always used condoms. Basically she behaved with her past partners exactly the same way she’d have behaved if she’d known she was infected. And she doesn’t even know when she got infected. She’d be freaking these guys out for no particular reason. I’m not even sure it was a great idea to get tested, given the lack of symptoms and the careful condom use. Seems like borrowing trouble to me.

          • Anonymous

            +1. I had a mysterious bump leading to a herpes test last year (don’t have it though, neither does current BF) and did a lot of reading up on it before I got my results back…seriously not worth it to track down the partners. There is SO a reason that this test isn’t standard, and that reason is medical practitioners do not see a need to freak out large numbers of people for no reason. So many people have it. It’s an occasional skin irritation that is stigmatized beyond all reason because it involves sex OMG.

        • the gold digger

          Hey OP – after I wrote this, I realized I did not do it right! My indignation was for the poster who said that it was not necessary to inform new people. I do not agree on that at all.

          And then, separately, to you, Don’t you wish the person had told you, which of course you do, as you plan to inform people in the future.

    • Anony

      I wouldn’t tell the past partners but I would mention it to future ones if they ask.

        • AIMS

          I’d be pretty p*ssed off if someone didn’t tell me something like this. Putting aside the issue of whether to tell past partners, I absolutely think you have to tell new ones – not wait for someone to inquire. Especially as this is something that can still be transmitted if someone takes all precautions as OP has done. I don’t think it’s fair to just write that off an on assumption of risk theory.

          • Ugh

            Yeah… I’m definitely going to tell all future partners for this reason, regardless of whether they ask or not, as soon as it seems like intimacy is imminent. I want them to decide whether or not it’s worth the risk (it can obviously be transmitted even with condoms or I wouldn’t have it!), and also I don’t think keeping something like this from someone is a good foundation for a relationship. I’m really lucky in that I haven’t had symptoms, but for people who do have symptoms, they can be quite painful and that’s not something everyone would want to risk (especially for a more casual relationship). I would be really, REALLY p*ssed if the guy who gave it to me already knew he had it and didn’t tell me. I think all of my past partners are generally good guys, and I also like to think the best of people, so I’m going to assume whichever one gave it to me had no idea.

      • Anonymous

        I would probably volunteer it to future partners, even if they don’t ask. But I see no need to tell past partners.

    • anon

      I wouldn’t bother telling past partners, for all of the reasons you cited about its prevalence and transmission rates (female to male with no outbreak and condoms is extremely low!! especially if you’ve never had an outbreak!). If they develop symptoms, they can get tested. Numerically, they are statistically likely to have come into contact with multiple people with HSV1 or 2. They can’t make any choices now to protect themselves, and no doctor is likely to test an asymptomatic man. I was told by my doctor that its against medical advice to test asymptomatic people because most people do have HSV1 or 2 in their blood, but have never had an outbreak, so “false positives” are incredibly common. Basically, all you get out of knowing is totally scared, thinking you “have herpes,” and worrying about whether you should tell all your future partners that you *may* have HSV but have never had an outbreak and the transmission rate is really low and you don’t even know if you have it.. and.. and.. basically the same position that you’re in.

      I don’t know if anonymous at 10:44 is advising you not to tell future partners, but if so, I’ll counter that (although you say in your post that you plan to). I would tell future partners. A few years ago I dated a man who had HSV1 g3nitally, and I really appreciated that he told me before we had s3x and let me make my own decision. I thought that that showed a tremendous amount of empathy and respect for me. I know that it was hard for him. I did a TON of research and realized how low transmission rates really are if you take proper steps. My fear for you is that if you decided not to tell future partners, you’d wind up in a position where you are in a relationship with someone and eventually have to reveal that you “lied by omission.”

      FWIW, that relationship did not work out for other reasons, but I did decide after some reflection that I would not abandon a promising relationship over fear of HSV.

    • Anonymous

      I’m surprised by the responses here. I would 100% tell them all to get tested – although I might consider doing it anonymously (if you can). One of them gave it to you, they may not know they are infected (same way you didn’t know until recently), and they could be unknowingly passing it on to other partners. Tell them and tell your future partners.

    • Red Velvet

      I would tell them all. If they decide they don’t care whether they have it because they think it’s not such a terrible disease, they can choose not to get tested. But, I think they, and their partners, should get the choice.

    • Anon

      I tested positive one year into my marriage. No symptoms. Used condoms every time with everyone except one long-term ex boyfriend (switched to pill after a few months) and, obviously, my husband. It never occurred to me to contact former partners. The most recent pre-husband former partner was more than 3 years earlier and the least recent was almost 10 years earlier. Obviously I told my husband (and he could have given it to me — who knows). I’d say future partners but not past. It’s really not a big deal to my mind.

    • Anon

      You absolutely MUST tell your future partners. Just because someone did not tell you, does not mean it is okay for you to hide information from future partners. Maybe they didn’t know, but you do!! You have knowledge that you have a disease, and regardless of how common it is, you have an obligation to tell your future partners, unless you want to be that type of a person.

      • Ugh

        Thanks, but, as I’ve said repeatedly, I’m definitely telling future partners. Did you even read my question? That’s not up for debate in my mind, AT ALL. I’m not going to be “that type of a person,” and don’t appreciate the slander. My only question was about telling past partners.

      • Ugh

        Man, I miss the edit function. I was going to add: Do you have anything helpful to say about my actual question?

        • Anon

          Yes, if I was in your position, I would tell future and past partners. You have a total of 7 people to inform, 3 from 2014, 3 from 2015 and 1 long term relationship. I would personally feel obligated to tell them. I know it is their responsibility to mange their own healthcare and get tested, but lets face it, most people don’t. Do it anonymously. Do something. I know it’s common, but there’s no harm in telling them. I think people really do have an obligation to be responsible and get tested and do the right thing.

      • Anonymous

        Yes, please stop piling on the OP, who is already dealing with a difficult situation. She said she’s telling future partners!

      • Anon

        That is my reaction to reading other posters saying they wouldn’t inform future partners. See Anonymous at 10:44. “I wouldn’t tell anyone. It’s not a big deal and it’s part of the risk you assume when you have sex with people.”

        And 10:55 “No you really don’t. No one told her. It’s not HIV. You should always assume anyone you’re sleeping with has Herpes unless you’ve both gone together to get tested. I’d be really weirded out if an random one night stand called to tell me about this.”

        Anonymous made it clear that she wouldn’t tell anyone, past, present, or future because it’s not HIV. I was seriously appalled when I read that. Maybe the OP does not agree with Anonymous’s position and my comments should have been directed to Anonymous. And yes, I do read, however, when I’m at work, please forgive me for skimming a bit on a blog.

        • Anonymous

          Your reply was to the OP, not to Anonymous. If you’re going to say something rude and use “you” make sure you’re directing it at the right person. Otherwise the person it was actually directed at will (reasonably) believe your comments are intended for them. If you’re so busy that you have to skim, maybe you shouldn’t be commenting. Nobody is forcing you to comment.

          • Anon

            My post was not rude. It was honest and accurate, you should tell future partners regardless of whether past partners have told you, or anyone. Also, on a blog for high achieving professional women, you’re right, none of us are busy. We are just ladies sitting here waiting for our men to come home, right? We have all the time in the world.

    • Anon for this one

      I know you didn’t ask, but a huge big virtual hug to you!! Yes, it is incredibly common. Nonetheless, it is still miserable to find out and deal with all of the fall out. I found out in my 20s that I had it too. It stinks. I hope you have a lovely glass of wine tonight.

      • Ugh

        Thanks, I really appreciate that :) As common as it is, it still really sucks.

    • Anonymous

      OP, to offer another perspective, I hugely disagree with most people here and I find some commenters’ “YOU HAVE A DISEASE!!!” reactions to be wildly overblown. You don’t have symptoms, you’ve never had symptoms, you use condoms. This is like HPV. Most people contract it and only a few people get symptoms. I wouldn’t go around telling past (or future) partners that I have HPV. There’s a reason doctors don’t test for it except in conjunction with pap smears because of the connection to cervical cancer. But for men, it’s not even worth knowing you have it unless you have symptoms. And we certainly don’t tell men they have to get tested for HPV because they might spread it to a woman who might then get cervical cancer…

      Bottom line, I would go ahead and forget you have it (and reassess if symptoms turn up at some point). No one here knows who you are in real life and you are free to do whatever is best for you without their judgment having any impact on you IRL.

        • Anonymous

          My understanding is that this is not necessarily because it would be impossible to develop a test for men, but because a test is pointless given the lack of symptoms (unless you have genital warts that present as a symptom of certain HPV strains).

    • padi

      Dan Savage did a Savage Love podcast on Herpes about 3 years ago. I think it was episode 195. This might be really helpful to listen to. Herpes isn’t as big a deal as people think it is–mostly because most people have at least been exposed to the virus.

      I read somewhere else (can’t remember now and Google is failing me) that whether you have symptoms of Herpes may actually be genetic. If so, you got the good genes!

  18. headbands?

    Are headbands for adult women at work always bad, or is there some way or styles that can work? I have long hair with wispy hairs around my face. I’d like to use a headband to hold those back with my hair in a bun or otherwise worn up. Its that too little girl?

    • Anonymous

      Yup. It’s a very juvenile style. I’d still wear it from time to time if you want because I don’t need to max out the professional look every day, but it reads very young.

    • Anonymous

      Bright or sparkly runs into non-professional territory. If it blends in with your hair (low profile, same color as hair), I’d say it’s as professional as any other hair accessory.

    • Cat

      I wore this style (polished pony or low bun + thin headband) periodically around ages 26-27, knowing it was a bit of an ingenue look. I saved it for low-key drafting days as a junior/mid-level associate. I recently found the headbands when doing a closet clean-out, and out of curiosity tried the look again — OH NO NO NO mutton-dressed-as-lamb into the donate bag they went.

      • TBK

        Me too — exactly! Same style, same age. On my 30th birthday, I went to put on the thin headband with my ponytail, looked in the mirror and said “oh no, not at 30” and in the trash it went.

    • Anon

      Perhaps you can do a looser updo with some pieces of hair intentionally left down to help you feel less self conscious about the wispy hairs (which I’m pretty sure no one notices but you)

  19. Anon

    I love the look and style of this,top. Can anyone who owns it comment on the fabric? Is it substantial or slinky? Does it feel like cotton knit or the wrap dress polyester feel?

  20. Meg Murry

    TJ – Smartphones?

    Anyone have an Android smartphone that you love or hate? Or features that you love or hate? My piece of crap cheap smartphone is doing its best to die on me, and if I’m going to pay lots and lots of money for a new one I want to not hate it. I don’t need the very best thing out there, but I want non-crap.

    I also need a very heavy duty case that can handle being thrown in around in my bag, handled by a 4 year old and dropped fairly often. I had a Ballistics brand case on my previous phone that I really liked, and an Otterbox that I hate and that is falling apart on this one.

    I’m leaning toward a Samsung S6, although the lack of MicroSD card gives me pause (one of the reasons I hate my current phone). Rumor has it the S7 will have one again, but it will probably have an insane price tag to go with it when it comes out. Anyone have it?

    Or any other features anyone loves/hates about their current phone? My main hates on my current phone:
    -not enough storage, and no microSD for expansion
    -Camera is mediocre, and I can’t adjust picture quality – so when I want to take a quick shot to remind myself to pick up something at the grocery store it uses the same quality as my best pictures (part of contributing to not enough storage)
    -battery life is mediocre, and my charging port is starting to get finicky if I don’t plug it in at just the right angle
    -Came with verizon bloatware, and Verizon takes forever to issue OS updates (but I’m stuck with Verizon, because they are the only ones with service at my house)

    • Cat

      My husband has the Samsung S5 – it will be 2 years old this spring, and has held up nicely. It often takes better pictures than my parents’ digital camera. I don’t think it takes a micro SD card, but if you purchased the n-1 model, you could probably afford the max capacity version?

      • Runner 5

        I have the S5 – it does take a micro SD card. I love that it’s waterproof (I’m not clumsy with phones and have never broken one but it doesn’t hurt to have that peace of mind).

        Another advantage of the S5 over the S6 is that you can get to the battery – so you could carry a second fully charged battery with you.

        I’d say it’s similar specs to the equivalent Apple phone (which I guess would be the 6?) but about half the price.

    • Anonymous

      Moto X Pure – it’s on the big side, but has an expansion slot up to 128 GB. Camera not known for being awesome, but it’s doable. It only comes unlocked (you buy thru Best Buy, Amazon or Motorola directly), so it doesn’t have the bloatware and is supposed to be getting updates relatively quickly (though not as quickly as when Motorola was owned by Google).

      Battery life isn’t superawesome, but it should last the day, and is supposed to have a turbo-charging feature. Runs about $400-500 depending on the amount of storage you choose (16, 32 or 64).

    • Anonymous

      Droid turbo 2. Unbreakable screen, very tough even without a case. Great battery life.

      • Digby

        Same. Also, get a wireless charging pad. After having too many phones get finicky about the charging port, I now have charging pads at home, work, and in the car.

      • Amy H.

        +2. Love my Droid Turbo. Battery life and speed of charging time is light years better than my last Android phone (also a Droid but from 3+ years ago). I’m also on Verizon.

    • Parfait

      LG G4. Has great camera. You can swap out the battery. Has SD card slot. I love mine.

  21. Anon

    People here always recommend fee based financial advisors — how do you pay such advisors? Is it a % of assets or a % of returns or a flat yearly fee or something else? I mean advisors other than the Fidelity/Vanguard folks who I think you can just call for minimal free advice.

    What value are they providing to you? I’ve always invested myself — nothing complicated — very few individual stocks; mostly sector based mutual funds; some ETFs. And with that combo I’ve managed to match or beat the S&P. Is there something they provide that I’m missing? Or is it more an option for people who don’t know where to start? I’m just thinking of the folks I know from high school who ended up being advisors at places like Merrill etc. and I’m weary . . . though maybe I’m missing something.

    • Lazy lawyer

      Our fee based financial planner offers various services at various costs, but all are flat fees not based on % of assets or returns. We paid approximately $2000 to have her draw up a comprehensive financial plan for us that includes strategies for savings (incl. savings for children(s) college), investments, retirement fund allocation, benefits from employers, insurance coverage and estate planning recommendation (the last of which we did not follow). The cost also included several “intake meetings” and follow on sessions to check on status of implementing the recommendations and answer questions. Based on a per hour breakdown, we felt the cost was very reasonable. For us, the benefit was having someone we trusted give us a roadmap that we desperately needed and doing a lot of the research for us (essentially, another example of “outsourcing” that is recommended here often).

      • DC Anon

        +1 — This is my experience too. I pay $1500 for a yearly financial plan, which covers a holistic view of all of my finances, investments, risk management (insurance coverage), and retirement planning. We do a lot of talking about my financial goals, where I want to be in 1, 5, 10 years, etc. and I find it incredibly helpful to have a professional to help me figure out whether I’m on track to meet my goals and where I need to tweak my finances to make sure I meet them.

        I always recommend fee-based advisors because I’ve worked in the asset management industry for a loooong time now and the incentives for asset-based advisors (where they are paid based on a percentage of your assets) are completely misaligned. They’re incentivized to maximize commissions, which come directly out of your assets. This can result in putting you in investments with high fees, and in moving you around to new investments every few years so that they can collect a new set of fees. It’s not that all asset-based advisors do this, but the incentives are certainly there, and you don’t have the context to know whether you’re paying high fees or low fees (the difference between 0.05% and 1.2% fees has an enormous impact on your account balance over time — much larger than you would guess).

        If you’re in the DC area, let me know and I can recommend my advisor. She does a lot of work with professional women and is a fantastic planner (and I have a high bar for competence given my experience in and familiarity with the industry).

Back to Top

About

Work with Corporette®

Serious Stuff

work fashion blog press mentions