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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 108 Comments · by

Thursday’s TPS Report: Kate Fit Boiled wool lady jacket

Fashion· The Personal Shopper (TPS)· Wear to Work | · · ·

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. 12And the sales keep coming! Talbots is having its “red hanger” sale, with reductions of up to 50% online and in stores (plus free shipping of $125 or more). This gorgeous jacket caught my eye. Love the “pinched collar” and pockets, and the fact that it's fully lined — boiled wool can be itchy sometimes! There are a lot more sizes for petites and woman's sizes, but still a few for regular sizes. Was $199, now marked to $98.97 at Talbots. Talbots Kate Fit Boiled wool lady jacket Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail editor@corporette.com with “TPS” in the subject line. (Disclosures)

Sales of note for 9.19.24

  • Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September, and cardmembers earn 3x the points (ends 9/22)
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Boden – 15% off new styles
  • Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
  • J.Crew – 50% off select styles — and 9/19 only, 50% off the cashmere wrap
  • J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
  • Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
  • M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
  • Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
  • Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – Anniversary event, 25% off your entire purchase — Free shipping, no minimum, 9/19 only
  • Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
  • Tuckernuck – Friends & Family Sale – get 20%-30% off orders (ends 9/19).
  • White House Black Market – 40% off select styles

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Comments

  1. Lizadoo

    How soon is too soon to start applying for another job when you’ve only been at a new job for a few months? My new/current job is having bad effects on me (heartburn, sleep issues, stomach issues, weight loss, hair falling out, etc.). There are a couple of job postings in my area right now that really appeal to me, but I don’t know if it’s too soon to jump ship. I’m a lawyer, and so I know I’m lucky to have any job in this economy. And I know there are probably many better-qualified candidates for the jobs I’m eyeing. I’m concerned about risking my steady paycheck if word gets out that I’ve applied elsewhere.

    • L

      I think that a year is probably the “regular” minimum to stay at a job, but if it is causing you health problems, it’s definitely time to look for a new job. Lawyers are generally pretty good about keeping things hush-hush when you’re looking. Is there any way you can try to minimize your job’s effects on you in the mean time?

      I like this jacket – no small sizes left though.

    • Anonymous

      Question to think about/calculate: how long would you be able to get by if you DID lose your current job before finding another one? Also, do you have any fallback options to tide you over temporarily? I say this because I totally agree with L, and also think it will help you make a cool-headed decision and avoid panicking regardless of what happens.

      If the worst case scenario is true–i.e. that you couldn’t pay even a month’s worth of bills without your current paycheck–then play it super safe and work on ways to cope. But if you have any leeway at all, it will help to figure out how much.

    • Anon

      I would try to make your job work a little longer. No guarantee it will get better, but a few months could theoretically just be a very hard transition. In my life, I have been tempted to bail on several things early on that ultimately turned out to be well worth doing. To keep your sanity, promise yourself you will start looking at the one year point, and live in such a way (financially) to keep your options as open as possible.

      • Bridget

        This is true. At my job, I was pretty miserable for the first four months and thought I had made a mistake. It just took some settling in and adjusting of expectations, and now I’m really happy and have been here for three years. Obviously, I don’t know the details of your work environment and why you are unhappy, or exactly how bad the stresses are for you. But I just wanted to put in a word for the “sometimes, it does get better, so no need to panic” consideration.

      • Midori

        Good point. The learning curve on a new legal job is often steep, and that’s extremely stressful. I don’t know what about your job is specifically stressing you out, but if it’s something that might ease up once your learning curve starts to flatten out, consider that there could be hope for improvement where you are. My first year, really two, was HARD. I’m just starting to get the hang of it, though, and it’s getting fun.

      • BigLaw Refugee

        Also, if you have a job where most of your work is on one or two cases, the nature of your day to day life can change dramatically when a case ends (or you get taken off it). Consider whether your stress may be temporary, and whether your current firm could do anything (taking you off a case, or adding staffing so you are not as overworked) could help. If so, discussing the issue (calmly and in objective terms such as “working X hours, handling Y calls/motions/documents per day, too much for one person to perform well”) could be a better solution than jumping from the frying pan into the fire.

        I also highly recommend getting some therapy and/or reading books on cognitive behavioral therapy for anxiety and depression. You may be able to find ways to reduce the stress caused by your existing job.

    • SuzyQ

      The only concern is that you may be burning bridges with your current job if you leave too quickly, but that might not matter to you if you dislike the place that much and also if you don’t need a good reference from them. But also, consider whether there are ways you can make your current job better by, say, switching practice areas (I left litigation and have never regretted it), getting more work from other partners, or even switching offices if you work for a big firm. Another thing to consider is whether your health issues are being caused by stresses outside of work.

    • Lana Lang

      I am in a similar situation. I have accepted a job that is not in my preferred practice area, but still want to continue looking for jobs in the specialism that I want. I couldn’t not accept it, but also feel that it is not good form to turn around after two weeks and say ‘oh sorry I found something else’.

      In a lot of ways it depends on the reasons why you are moving, obviously if your job is affecting your health then it isn’t worth sticking out! I would say though that you should be diplomatic about your reasons for moving in interviews as saying ‘it was too stressful’ might be construed as you not being able to work under pressure at all. Not saying that it isn’t a valid reason, just I would make sure to explain it properly rather than just putting it out there and letting people draw their own (incorrect) conclusions.

      At the end of the day it is your life, you don’t owe them anything and you should pursue the things that make you happy. Nothing is worth your health in the long term.

      Good luck!

    • Anonymous

      If you don’t tell anyone at the office that you’re applying elsewhere, word shouldn’t get out. If the application asks for references, it’s perfectly fine to ask them to notify you before they contact your references. I think you should go ahead and apply – can’t hurt and it sounds like your current job is pretty awful on your health.

    • Ann

      I have to say, I’m not in law, but any time we see a professional applicant with jobs on their resume they left after just a few months, it is a red flag. Less so if there’s been a pretty consistent history before and/or after, and we do ask people rather than just assume it was their issue.

      I think most employers want to think you made a good-faith effort to hang in there and make it work for at least some time. I think a year is best but if I saw 10-11 months it would be OK – I would ask about it but if I heard something about “not a good fit,” “better opportunities if I moved on” I would be able to read between the lines.

      Less than that – I don’t know. If you’ve been there 3 months or less, I have heard you technically don’t have to put it on your resume, but just be aware it may come up in any reference/background checks they do. If it’s more than 3 but less than 10, I would think about trying to hang on a little longer. But, only you know what your limits are, and if you really have a shot at getting one of the jobs you’ve seen, you should go for it. Good luck. :)

      • spacegeek

        Agreed! I too am not in law, but anyone with more than 2 jobs in 3 years is a red flag!

    • Jess

      Sorry to hear you’re in this spot. It’s rough.
      I’ve left a job after 6 months — when I interviewed, I just said the position ended up being “not as advertised” and explained what differed from what I was told the work would be to what it really was …

      Hope you find greener pastures soon.

    • FL Anon

      I have a coworker who left two jobs within the span of about a year. The first she left after 6 months to move to a new area, and the second she left because it was a sweatshop and it was affecting her well-being. I think people in my office were aware of the situation in the second employer, so it did not hurt her chances at all. They did not ask me for references, so I doubt they asked her either. I have a friend in a stressful state agency where many of the people who have left recently left after about 6 months.

    • SarahJ

      I have almost the same question. I left my firm voluntarily to go in-house for a client of the firm, and I also relocated geographically to do so. I am miserable and every day I feel like I made the wrong decision, but it’s only been a few months. On paper it’s an incredible opportunity and resume booster, but in reality veering towards the business spectrum of practice is fitting very badly. I miss my old clients, practice group, friends, climate, professional connections, etc. I do have enough savings to last a while. Any advice or experience on going back to a firm after leaving under these types of circumstances? How to approach, how long to wait? I wish I could turn back time and refuse the offer instead of accepting.

  2. Chicago K

    Threadjack!

    Has anyone purchased lab grown diamonds, from websites such as http://www.carat.cc or others? I am really tempted to order some of the affordable jewelry from Carat (diamond studs start at $100!), but the fact that it is all set in 9 K gold concerns me. Will it fall apart over time?

    For those of you who aren’t familiar, lab grown diamonds are considered “real diamonds” in the sense that they are diamonds and not cubic zirconium. But they have a lesser value than mined diamonds for many reasons. They are a fairly new concept to jewelry, although diamonds have been grown in labs for other purposes (such as to use in diamond tipped cutting tools) for quite awhile.

    I don’t care that they aren’t “real” to some, I am just looking for affordable jewelry that looks nice that I can wear every day. They are considered to be flawless and to look better than most mined diamonds. I haven’t seen them in person, but from the articles I’ve read even jewelers have a hard time telling the difference – the main tip off is they have little to no flaws, unlike something that comes from the ground.

    Anyone bought these? Thoughts?

      • Anonymous

        Looks like lovely quality design, finishing, attention to detail. I have mucho 9 kt (it was the vintage Victorian standard, and 10 kt is standard in much of the everyday int’l or hand-made designer market now; 9 kt is still very common in UK everyday ‘jewellery’).

        Caveat if you are considering– could be deal-breaker or not as this is a grey-area idea anyhow, not an heirloom big dealio, but…: Did you see that only the ‘Gemesis’ is the grown dia of wh you wrote, and that the rest, if not marked ‘Gemesis’ is just straight-up simulant? There is hardly any ‘Gemesis’ and it is not cheap. This could matter or not to you, but the lab-grown ‘real’ dias are rare here, the default is (lovely) simulant.

        Bon courage and bon beaute!

        • lawyerette

          Ah so that was my thought exactly. This isn’t the lab-created diamond but a very similar copy (like CZ). I see nothing wrong with that though. My engagement ring’s main stone is a moissanite and it looks gorgeous.

        • Chicago K

          No, I didn’t notice that. I was looking at Gemesis’s website and some how got over to that one. Gemisis had mainly colored stones of which I wasn’t so interested in.

          Well, I guess that isn’t what I thought it was, but for the price I might try it anyway. The designs look nicer than what I’ve bought at Nordstroms and for around the same price.

          • Chicago K

            I see how I got over there…that website sells some Gemesis products (the colored diamonds). But you are correct, the ones I was looking at are not the lab growns. Shoot. They still look lovely though and I might give them a chance regardless.

    • lawyerette

      I have never bought them only because I did not know they were being mass produced yet. Do you know that this company is really selling synthetic diamonds? I haven’t researched this in about 2 years or so but back then there were some companies doing it (Apollo I think was one of them) but only really large diamonds because of the manufacturing costs, and many were yellow diamonds because getting the white look was hard. They were also quite pricey, so this makes me a bit suspicious.

    • Ang

      No buying experience with them, but I really like the environmental and ethical implications of gems that aren’t mined.

      • M in CA

        +1. I don’t often look for diamonds, but when I do, I’ll be looking for something like this.

        • JAS

          I agree with this, but am not so knowledgeable about the environmental issue: do we know what the enviro impact of producing these diamonds is and how it is better/worse than mining? I know mining is not good for te environment but manufacturing can be bad too.

    • anonforthis

      I’m a scientist and can’t resist commenting on this; I’ve run accross lab grown diamonds in my professional capacity. They’re much purer than natural diamonds, and have a much better crystal structure. (Lab grown diamonds are used for monochromators because of their better crystallographic properties.) I believe they have more nitrogen impurities which give them a slightly yellow tinge. However, I’ve never seen them in a jewel cut, which would look different. The diamonds we use basically look like a chip of glass – 3 mm x 3 mm x 0.25 mm. One of the major manufacturers is element six http://www.e6.com/en/.

      • anonforthis

        That’s *across* – I knew there was a reason I didn’t study English.

      • Chicago K

        That’s very interesting regarding the nitrogen inpurities causing a yellow tinge, as most of the labgrown diamonds I see online (through Gemesis and the Gemesis ones on the Carat website) are colored yellow. This might explain why I don’t see colorless ones for sale anywhere.

    • Anon

      Try stauer.com. My engagement ring is from there. It’s set in platinum-coated-silver, which is definitely a concern – but it looks nice and is cheap.

  3. AtlantaAttorney

    Be sure to look at Talbot’s return policy before buying anything marked down. Last time I bought something on clearance it was “final sale” and the website noted anything ending in $0.99 or $0.97 could not be returned (it was a $6.99 t-shirt so didn’t matter to me, but it would matter more if I were spending more than that). This was over the summer – I don’t know if the policy is still the same.

    • RR

      They have had many more “final sale” items lately, but they are very good about noting it in bold red type on the item.

  4. KathleenKMM

    I haven’t bought lab-created diamonds but I do have moissanite earrings, which I think are a similar principal, and I absolutely love them.

    • caesia

      I second the recommendation for moissanite. I chose it over diamonds for my wedding ring and love how it looks.

      • AnonAnonAnon

        Third! Love my earrings, had them for a few years and they still look gorgeous.

  5. Anonymous

    Is anyone else starting to feel addicted to these crazy online sales? I feel compelled to buy expensive items that are 50 percent off, but it’s not like they are free!

    • YES

      Absolutely. I seriously need to curb my shopping. Must. step. away. from. computer!

    • K

      You & me both. I’ve set up a seperate folder in my email where all my shopping emails go automatically (bypassing the inbox, where I’m more likely to read them) in hopes that that will help.

    • Janie

      YES. I have an ongoing conversation with my UPS driver, who visits almost daily…

  7. KateL

    I tried the Kate jacket on the other week – It looked adorable on the hangar and I wanted to love it. I found cut to be odd (at least for my body type). I am 4/6 in jackets most places and the 6 in this jacket fit proprtionally for length/waist/chest but the arms/shoulders were tight.

    On a related note do people who love Theory find their sleeves to be cut on the narrower side? It could be the particular jacket I tried on but the sleeves felt very tight with only a thin t-shirt. Even with just a camisole it was just snug enough to know I would fidget/be uncomfortable. I work out but I don’t have body builder upper arms.

    • AIMS

      I think theory jackets def. have narrower arms, but that’s exactly why I love them. Almost every other brand looks awful on my arms — like I am wearing my mom’s clothing. Btw, I don’t think my arms are abnormally skinny, but I guess they are on the slim side.

      • KateL

        Thanks that helps. I bought the matching pants because they would look good with twin set. Guess no Theory suits in my future!

      • Kaye

        Agreed – when I tried on Theory jackets I found the jacket sleeves very narrow, though I liked it.

  8. meg

    Does anyone know if the Kate fit at Talbots is really as tailored as it looks in the pictures?

    • RR

      It is the most tailored of the three new jacket types. I tried this jacket on actually and found it to be almost tailored to a fault–i.e., I had to size up to have it fit. So it should be a good option for the ladies who are looking for tailoring.

      • RR

        Posted too soon. Also agree with KateL regarding a slightly odd fit. I’m at the other end of the sizing range, and I experienced the same regarding the arms and shoulders feeling tight. Sizing up solved that, but I still didn’t love it on me.

      • RR

        Posted too soon. Also agree with KateL regarding a slightly odd fit. I’m at the other end of the sizing range, and I experienced the same regarding the arms and shoulders feeling tight. Sizing up solved that, but I still didn’t love it on me.

  9. chix pix

    A problem with this Talbot’s jacket is that any bit of hair or fuzz will get caught in the tucks, and there will be no easy way to keep it reasonably neat and clean.

  10. surrounded by lawyers

    Silly fashion problem of the moment: the bag I carry to work every day has the handles fastened by functional buckles. I.e. the buckles can come undone, and when they do, the bag is disconnected from the straps. Of course, this always happens at the most annoying times. Any suggestions for preventing this without it being noticeable?

    The buckles are adjustable by notches–like on a belt–but FWIW I don’t need to adjust them ever. I am happy to commit to one setting permanently (the smallest/shortest one).

      • Anonymous

        I would take the bag to a shoe repair person and see if they can replace the buckles with some that are faux (i.e. not functional).

    • K

      Maybe take to cobbler and see if he can stitch the buckles down in the closed position?

      I had that problem with a purse once — loved the purse, hated the problem….good luck!

  11. Curious

    I’m belatedly reading all of the posts from yesterday about all of the unhappy Big Law attorneys and my question is, WHERE are you working so that I know to avoid that firm??! I suspect people don’t want to out themselves, so I’ll compile a list of known sweatshops that I’ve heard treat associates very poorly, and hopefully folks can let me know if I’m on the right track.

    Wachtel
    Cravath
    Sullivan & Cromwell
    Paul Weiss
    Most of the NYC big law firms, for that matter
    Kirkland
    Skadden
    Wilmer
    Jenner

    • Lana Lang

      Yes I would like to know – I know plenty of people happy in Big Law and I am just looking at moving laterally (within BigLaw) and want to know where not to go!

      Also where are the people in Big Law who DO like their jobs!

    • Another Sarah

      I have a feeling that it’s not just attorneys who work in BigLaw, or these firms for that matter, work under rather poor/stressful working conditions. Bad bosses are everywhere – yesterday there were some attorneys working for solos who were horrible. If you check out Above the Law, they’re currently running a series on the best partners in each major market, and those partners all work at the firms you listed. So I would posit a guess that it’s really not the firm but the boss/partner you work for.

      Regardless, in this economy, if I magically got an offer from any of these firms, I would take it in a heartbeat.

      • AnonAnonAnon

        I agree, it’s the group. It’s also your resilency. Can you resist the negative attitudes that are bound to be anywhere you work, in any field? If so, you’ll be fine. To some extent, you make your own environment (but of course, sometimes it truly is toxic, nothing you can do, and just not a good fit for you.) I’ve staked out the major firms in town, watched which classmates went where and now have my sights set on a group that I’ve met every partner and all but one or two associates (not a big group, but in the field I want to work in) and am actively pursuing a post-clerkship position with them. I loved the attorneys I’ve met, really like the personality-type that was recruited from my class, etc. And they have an excellent reputation with the judges I’ve interned with/will clerk with.

    • anon

      I’m at none of the above (in house) but I know people that are very happy, extremely miserable, and everything in between at many of the firms you listed. Ultimately, you need to know yourself – for example, are you going to be happy working 80-100 hour weeks, regularly, maybe on somewhat mundane-but-necessary tasks as part of “important” deals/cases, working for people who may be a**holes? Some people thrive on this – some hate it.

      • Anon

        I work at a firm equivalent to one of those firms listed, and I just want to set the record straight. I don’t regularly work 80-100 hours. Think what that is! 80 hours is more than 11 hours a day 7 days a week. 100 hours is 14-15 hours a day 7 days a week. I am sure I have worked a handful of 80 hour weeks in my time, but am also pretty sure I have never worked a single 100 hour week. 50 hour weeks are pretty typical, 60 are not that remarkable. And those hours, consistently, are hard (I find the lack of real vacation — away from bberry etc — the hardest part). But let’s not exaggerate just how hard it is.

        • Anon

          Absolutely yes. It’s more like 35-60 (billed), with the occasional bad week or weeks. Imagine regularly billing at the lower end of that supposed 80-100 range with 4 weeks of true vacation. That would be 3,840 hours for the year, WELL above the supposedly cruel targets in the 2000s many firms set. Even if you were only billing 75-80% of your time worked, you’d still be pushing 3000 hours.

    • Anon

      I wish this was a useful tactic, but I’m afraid it might not be. There are certainly some firms/offices that are toxic through and through, but there are also a lot of firms where people’s experiences vary WIDELY. I work at one of the above firms. I was scared in theory to come here because it has a reputation for hard work and *ssh*oles, but my practice group in my office — WONDERFUL! I really truly LIKE my job, my bosses, and my hours. But I would not switch offices/groups in this firm.

      My advice to you is to base your decision on conversations with the associates in the office, practice group, subgroup in which you will work. Their experiences are the ones that matter.

    • Regular poster but Anon for this

      I’ll go out on a limb and say that very few women associates are happy at Sullivan & Cromwell. I used to work there and it’s not just a sweatshop, it’s an old boys club. When I was there, all of the women partners were either married to other partners, married to their jobs (i.e., unmarried and unattached), or married to major clients. Not a family friendly place. Also, I was told in one review that I “need to be more obnoxious” to be successful there. Paid off my loans though so I can’t complain.

      • Anon

        I don’t love giving out details like this, but let’s just throw caution to the wind!

        My male significant other summered at S&C, hated it, turned down their offer and went to Davis Polk, where he’s been quite happy for several years. That said, Davis Polk is no panacea. We are social with a number of his coworkers, male and female, and some are quite miserable.

    • Anonforthisone

      Kirkland is widely known as a sweatshop, but I have a friend who works in the DC office and is very happy there. She works VERY long hours, but is evidently getting great experience and works with great people.

      I’ve heard not so good things about Wilmer DC, mostly that it’s very big and impersonal, and that you have to be a Supreme Court clerk to get on any sort of appellate projects.

      I have a friend at Sidley DC who is very happy there. He works in the appellate group and seems to be getting fantastic work for a mid-level.

    • Anon

      I was one of the people who posted yesterday in favor of big firms and I work at Paul Weiss. I know a lot of happy people here, but I also know a lot of people who seem miserable or burnt-out (mostly due to # of hours, not people they work for or quality of work). I can say that the litigators here work a lot more than the transactional lawyers overall and I think life is a lot harder for them.

    • Lyssa

      I can’t speak for any specific firms, but I’ve definitely gotten the impression that you’re better off in a mid-sized city than in a large city (NY, Atlanta, Chicago, etc.) I live in a mid-sized southern city (might even be smaller than mid-sized; our biggest firms top out around 100-150 attorneys), and attorneys here don’t seem to be nearly as miserable as you’re always hearing.

      • anon

        It depends. Some of the firms in a specific city (eg Boston, ATL, etc.) that are based in that city are a no-go for various reasons. It is really specific to the city and the firm.

    • Anonymous

      I think this is highly dependent on the city. There are firms on your list that are well respected in my city, and firms that are total sweatshops in my city that aren’t on your list. I don’t think that many Corporettes, especially those of us who post from work, are going to be willing to respond to this with that level of detail.

    • AEK

      Let me say this: You’ve named many of the most prestigious biglaw firms. You could be equally miserable any biglaw shop—the variance among them is really only at the margins, since they all operate under much the same system. So, if you are doing biglaw as a career, by all means, take the time to distinguish between them. If you think you’ll do 2-4 years and leave,then much like law school, you should go to very best one you can get into and afford (in all senses). That line 0n your resume will be there forever, so if you’re going to subject yourself to the torture of biglaw (I did), make it work for you for the rest of your life. I don’t mean to be cynical, but biglaw uses you (up), so you might as well use it right back—and you’ll get a bigger return on your sweat & tears if you’re at a firm whose name will open doors for you later.
      (By the way, I don’t mean to sound like happiness isn’t important. I just think that the variability on this factor is so minimal between firms that it doesn’t make that much sense to rely on it, if you have already decided to take on biglaw in spite of the known, um, lifestyle effects.)

      • BigLaw Refugee

        I basically agree with this. The one thing I will say though is that if you have an “in” with a powerful partner at a particular firm, go to that firm. You will have a much better chance of getting good experience instead of endless document review.

        When I was a summer associate I had the good fortune to work at a firm where a well-known antitrust partner was friendly with a law professor of mine who put in a good word for me. I got what I now know was great work that summer, but I was too dumb to realize it and I ended up not going there.

        I now believe that if I’d gone, I’d have had a stellar career. Having a real mentor/supporter right off the bat can make a huge difference in a person’s career trajectory. Maybe you’ll work a little longer or get yelled at a little more, but it will be worth it – the worst part of Biglaw is getting stuck doing tedious work and watching others get to do the work you want to do.

    • 2L NYC

      Don’t say its a sweatshop…my firm for next summer is on this list :-(. Well, I have heard similar things, but I really liked my visit!

    • Anon

      I should have posted this on the thread the other day, but didn’t read that one until now. Anyways, I am a government (state) lawyer who really loves my job. I love the type of law that I practice, the amount of control I have over my cases, most of the clients and opposing counsel is not overly difficult. I feel like for many clients I really make a difference in their lives. I make more money than any of my friends who did not go to law school and a little less than my friends who work at the smaller firms in our state. But my health insurance and retirement benefits are far better.

      I also own a home and am pregnant with my third child. We live in the best school district in our state and so feel comfortable sending our children (one is elementary school age) to public school. My husband stays home with our younger one.

      We take a vacation every summer and eat out at least twice a week. We drive old cars that are paid off. We try to buy the kids clothes on sale, but can always afford to get them everything they need and much of what they want. I used to get loan repayment assistance until I got a raise. Now I pay income based payments and the rest will be forgiven after ten years.

      BUT the best part is–is that I work 40 hours a week and no more. When I am on vacation or during the weekends, I never check email and my office never calls me. To be home by 4 pm everyday is so worth the lower salary to me.

  12. Midori

    Sale alert: I’m noticing some pretty great prices on jny.com today, and free shipping.

  13. luluaj

    I have this jacket and I love it. It’s a little more fitted in the lower arm region that most jackets but I got the petite and it fits great. It’s also super warm.

  14. KW

    Threadjack: I bought my mom black Mossimo ballet flats from Target for her birthday a year ago and she loved them. For Christmas she’s asking for some in an animal print, but the reviews on the Target Mossimo animal print flats say they run very wide, which will not work for my mom’s skinny feet. Also, she’s had multiple foot surgeries so the shoes need to be very, very soft and comfortable. Any suggestions on where to find comfy, inexpensive, animal print flats? Thanks.

  15. D

    I’m heading to the Chocolate Decadence event at the Ritz in DC (early Christmas present to myself). Has anyone ever been to this? Any suggestions for outfits?

  16. rg

    Threadjack:

    So we just received some more holiday gifts from my in-laws (we’ll be spending the holidays with my family so they mailed them to us early). And for the last few years, they have bought me clothes with no gift receipt that do not fit me and are not my style at all. I’m very petite so they are trying to get my size, but often P and XS are still huge on me. I tend to order a lot of clothes online since stores don’t always have my size, and I still return 70% of them for b/c they don’t fit. I suspect that some of the clothes have been from CostCo, which may explain the no gift receipt, but I’m not really sure what to do. I imagine these items are reasonably expensive, and I really feel bad about it. This year my husband was also given a jacket (likely expensive) by his sister that’s too big without a receipt. We just end up giving these items to charity, but it doesn’t really seem like that’s what my in-laws had intended. Also, regifting isn’t really an option for us either b/c we don’t generally have to buy gifts for anyone who’d fit these items, and we’ve usually bought all our gifts by the time my in-laws’ arrive. I don’t know if it would make sense for my husband to gently say something at some point re: our sizing issues, or what. It’s not that I’m ungrateful, it just seems like such a waste. Any suggestions?

    FWIW, we do occasionally give clothes to our toddler nieces and nephews (I always size up so they will fit eventually) and have occasionally given clothes to the adults, but I always make it a point to get a gift receipt. That said, giving clothes is not unprecedented with my in-laws.

    • gov anon

      I have the same problem with my in-laws. Honestly, we generally just end up donating them, since in-laws can’t seem to figure out that I am not an XL. Not even close.

    • Anon

      Not sure on Costco specifically, but most retailers are very understanding of returns of gifts without a receipt around the holidays, and most clothing with tags still on will be pretty clear about where it comes from. And even if they won’t let you return (usually for a store credit/gift card), if it’s really just a sizing issue and you do like the item, an exchange should be even less of a problem. If it’s not clear where the item is from and you they’re not the type to be embarrassed by telling you they got it at Kmart or wherever, I don’t see anything wrong with saying you absolutely love it but that it might fit better in a different size (and ask where it’s from so you can exchange). If they hesitate or tell you it was final sale, be ready with a quick, “oh, that’s no problem.”

      I personally wouldn’t try to tell them (either you or your husband) that this has been a recurring problem.

      Another option for next year would be to ask them what they want and if they ask you in return, you could guide them away from clothes (e.g., suggest something easy like books or a magazine subscription, or just tell them that you’re out of room in your closet and need to go through and donate some clothes, so anything but clothes).

      • surrounded by lawyers

        I don’t think exchange is an option for her, because she says P and XS are usually too big–and there is no smaller size.

        Maybe the most graceful solution is just to say that you and your husband already have so many clothes… That way you get to avoid references to years’ worth of mis-gifting, and hopefully since they like buying you presents they will start getting other things instead.

        • Anon

          That’s a good point. Maybe at least for the husband? And it might give a clue as to where hers came from. Or another item might run smaller, and that could be an easy exchange too.

          • surrounded by lawyers

            Right, or maybe they have shoes or jewelry that would fit her without a problem.

    • anon

      I wouldn’t say anything, except to ask if they had a gift receipt bc “the sizing isn’t quite right” – otherwise, just continue to donate as you have been. My husband’s mom gets us awful clothes in the wrong size every year, and I just put them straight in the goodwill bag.

      • AIMS

        This is why I almost never buy anyone clothes & always include gift receipts.
        My problem is I get jewely that is absolutely 100% not my style. I feel awful b/c it’s not cheap; and because it’s stuff like ruby rings, etc., I don’t really feel right donating it to charity. I guess it’s the thought that counts. But oh, how I wish I could just get a gift card :)

        • Ru

          Maybe you could reset the stones/remold the metal into something more your style? That way you still get to keep their gift and use it.

      • spacegeek

        I have a brother in law who tells us immediately upon receipt of a gift whether he likes it or “will never use it”. He is the most ungracious gift recipient. I wish he’d simply say “thank you” and good will or regift the item. It makes us feel bad, and I don’t think that is proper behavior for a gift recipent. I believe a recipient should be gracious–the gifters are doing their best.

    • Anonymous

      If you can figure out where they came from, you should at least be able to get store credit for the current price (so try to figure it out and return ASAP before things get marked down too much). Then you should at least be able to find something that you can at least use, or that your husband could use. I’m assuming that they are not from places like AT or Brooks Bros or the like, because then you would have already tried to return them, but I bet if you post the brand names on here someone will know where they are from. For next year, I would try to drop some hints that you don’t want clothing or that there is something else that you would like.

  17. rg

    Thanks ladies. I think I’ll try the store credit without the receipt. I’m pretty sure it’s Costco or Macy’s (INC brand), and I’m guessing CostCo for my husband’s jacket (Columbia).

    I know INC is usually Macy’s, but Macy’s also usually puts a sticker on the tag and there isn’t one…which is why I’m thinking CostCo (where I know they shop a lot, partially b/c they are in kind of a remote area).

    • Maybe

      If it’s a brand that’s sold at Nordstrom (like Columbia), you can always return it there without the gift receipt. They are ridiculously amazing about returns. They will actually give you cash back even without a receipt, but you could always buy the same thing/something similar (at least your husband could) in a different size if you like the gift.

    • Bianca

      Macy’s does’t put a sticker on the tag if its purchased online. If they are online type of shopper, you might check there first.

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