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Updated: Mar 13, 2019 278 Comments · by

Thursday’s Workwear Report: Striped Cotton Interlock Jersey Top

The Personal Shopper (TPS)

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Striped Cotton Interlock Jersey Top Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. This top is definitely on the casual side, but a) it’s really well done for what it is, with lots of interesting striping and piecing details for the fabric, and b) it could in theory work under a blazer. (In fact, I’m sure I could find an image of Tina Fey in a Breton top and blazer in about 2 seconds flat.) It’s a classic look, and if it’s one you happen to like, this top is a great one to consider. It’s $88 at Brooks Brothers, available in sizes XS-XL. Striped Cotton Interlock Jersey Top For plus sizes, the striped version of this top is a nice option. (Don't be put off by the “falling leaves” print that will be featured when you click the link…)  This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support! Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail [email protected].

Sales of note for 8.30.24

  • Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
  • Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Bergdorf Goodman – Final Days Designer Sale, up to 75% off; extra 20% off sale
  • Boden – 20% off
  • Brooks Brothers – Extra 25% off clearance
  • Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
  • J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
  • J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
  • Lo & Sons – Summer sale, up to 50% off (ends 9/2)
  • Madewell – Extra 40% off sale; extra 50% off select denim; 25% off fall essentials
  • M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
  • Rothy's – End of season sale, up to 50% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear in the big sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
  • White House Black Market – Up to 70% off sale

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Comments

  1. Kk

    Last night after eating college town cheap pasta, I was puking my guts out all night. I’m feeling shaky and pale this morning, but I don’t have an option not to perform at work today. What’s your favorite stomach-relieving and rehydrating methods? Coconut water? Pedialyte? Ginger candy?

    • Anonymous

      Regular – – not diet – – coke. Maybe some saltines when I’m feeling ready.

    • Anonymous

      G2 (not gatorade – too much sugar will make you more pukey) over ice. A big sip as often as you feel able to, at least every 10 minutes.

      Sorry you are facing this today.

    • Anonymous

      Staying home so you don’t spread norovirus.

      If you said sushi or mayo-based or something actually likely to be food borne, I’d say water (not Gatorade-too much sugar) and all things ginger. Avoid pepto since your body needs to rid itself and diarrhea may actually help.

      • Anon

        Agree it’s norovirus, but I’m not sure it’s practical to stay home until you’re no longer contagious… you shed the virus in your poop for up to 2 weeks. I don’t know anyone who could/would stay home with a stomach bug for that long. Just practice good hygiene and don’t handle other people’s food.

        • Anon

          Most people who think they have “food poisoning” actually have viral gastroenteritis (norovirus). It’s tramsmitted through food, if the food preparer is ill and didn’t was his hands well enough. Food poisoning due to actually spoiled food is quite rare, especially with hot, cooked food like pasta. Something like potato salad spoils easily but pasta does not.

          • Ellen

            Yes, Dad says that even when you go to a restrarunt, you can get sick if there is someone in the kitchen who does not wash his hands before he comes out of the bathroom, particularly if he made poopie. The stuff goes from his hands onto your food, and then when you eat it, it goes into your stomach and you get sick from NOROVIRUS. Dad recommends natural (unsweeteneed) yogurt with Lactobacillus Bulgaris to help repopulate your intestinal tract with good bacteria (yes, there is in fact good bacteria).

            My motto is to minimize eating at places where you see the kitchen staff hanging out on the street by the kitchen entrance, particularly if they are smoking or have dirty fingernails. Also, check the waiters, and if any of them do not look pristine, do NOT order anything that has to be prepared. Pasta and Pizza require the use of hands, Dad says, and this means, right on your food. Dad reminded me of the Seinfeld episode where Jerry’s girfriend’s father, Poppy, ran a Pizzeria, and Jerry saw him come out of the toilet and did NOT wash his hands. Jerry absolutely refused to try Poppy’s pizza, b/c he saw Poppy’s hands all over his pizza, and reminded himself that he saw Poppy run right out of the toilet past him w/o washing his hands. As it turned out, he did not wind up haveing s-x with the girlfriend, and the Poppy got written up by the NYC Board of Health for bad hygene, but at least Jerry did NOT get NOROVIRUS from Poppy’s poopie! FOOEY!

        • Anonymous

          Food poisoning is very unlikely in pasta with tomato sauce. Norovirus is going around. It’s way more likely to be that.

          • Anon

            +1 to Norovirus (not that it makes OP feel better — sorry you’re facing this!). If it were actual food poisoning, you’re more likely to end up in the ER with emergency antibiotic IV ordered at regular intervals. Ask me how I know…

      • Anon

        +1 Really, nobody is so essential that they can’t take a sick day. Your coworkers are going to hate you when you get them all sick.

    • Momofboys

      Uggh, feel better.
      Stomach relief- Straight up original Coke! Just one can does it for me.
      Dehydration- pedialite

    • Vicky Austin

      Gatorade to rehydrate, tiny sips of Coke or Sprite to settle, saltines or pretzels to fuel you in the meantime. Get well soon!

    • Anon

      If it’s food poisoning, I would drink some gatorade and not eat anything. If it’s overindulgence, eat a McDonald’s hash brown.

    • Pretty Primadonna

      Interesting that everyone is saying Coke. I usually drink Sprite or 7Up for nausea. What is it in Coke that helps?

  2. Anonymous

    Fun picks this week. I can vouch for the quality of the Rebecca Taylor suiting. I have a few Rebecca Taylor pieces and they are really well made. I also wanted to send a shout out for Hobbs, I wore my Hobbs suit this week and it has classic suiting construction (canvas, etc.) and is also really sturdy. I found it at Bloomingdales.

  3. Diana Barry

    The stripes don’t match up on the pocket and the rest of the shirt – it is probably intentional but I don’t like it!

    • tesyaa

      I agree, it looks terrible on an otherwise nice shirt. If they wanted the pocket to stand out (for some unknown reason), wouldn’t a pocket with a navy background and white stripes look cuter?

    • Abby

      Agree, I hate when they don’t match up on the sides comparing front and back, let alone in the front middle of the shirt!

    • Belle Boyd

      This. It’s really bringing out my OCD this morning and it irritates me. Even the stripes on the cuffs of the sleeves are bothering me. Nope, nope, nope.

      • Anon

        Do you actually have OCD, a rather debilitating illness that causes people to really suffer, or are you just being flippant?

        • Lady Anonymous

          Oh good h e l l. Get a grip. It’s a post on a message board. Quit being so triggered.

          • Fringe

            There’s no need to trivialize illnesses that are already misunderstood, Lady Anon.

      • Anon

        Yeah it’s clearly intentional. The sleeve ends have stripes going the other way so they had to do that in other areas to balance it out / repeat it.

        • Never too many shoes...

          I would have liked it better if the pocket went the same way as the cuffs.

          • Mpls

            I think it would be better if there was no pocket at all. 2nd best would be the same direction as the cuffs.

            This – intentional or not – just looks like sloppy cutting of pattern pieces.

          • NYNY

            Team no pocket here. Generally against boob pockets, especially on knits. Just why?

  4. S

    I genuinely love the look of Hermes scarves, but obviously not the price tag, and I don’t care about the ‘prestige’ of it. Are there any other brands of silk scarves that are beautifully patterned and similar size and quality that I should be looking at?

    • Veronica Mars

      Vintage Ferragamo silk scarves are beautiful. Most major houses did beautiful scarves in the 60s, 70s, etc. Just find a brand you like and search for them on ebay. You could do Emilio Pucci, Liz Claiborne, Gucci, Nina Ricci, etc. They don’t carry the premium of Hermes but have beautiful motifs. You can also search by theme, like “nautical silk scarves,” “floral silk scarves,” etc. just pay attention to the size so you’re not getting super small scarves designed for hair/wrist/neck use.

    • Houda

      I own a few Hermes pieces but only for bright colorways. If you are looking for more sedate colors, you could buy second hand Gucci. I think no one does florals and muted colors/browns like them

    • anon0314

      Probably not exactly what you are envisioning, but I’ve always liked H&M scarves (not sure how they compare to hermes in the slightest tbh), they wear tough, and I always have one with me, esp when I travel– they are super multi functional (impromptu jacket, beach blanket, towel, clean upper, whatevs).

    • Anon

      Slightly off topic, but how does one wear/style a silk scarf? I would love to be a scarf person. I’m mid 20’s and work in a business formal office. Think I can swing it?

      • BB

        For business formal, I love the way Christine Lagarde wears her scarves under her blazers (I’m rocking a similar look today). You can definitely pull it off at your age and in an office like that.

        For the OP, I feel like scarves are a total browsing thing for me. I don’t have any specific brands. I’ll just buy something that catches my eye in a store, especially when I’m travelling.

      • Vicky Austin

        Same age, business casual, I tied a (not silk, but square and with a pretty pattern) scarf around my purse strap, and now I get to look at it every single day and have it spark joy. :)

      • burgher

        Just do it! All you have to do to be a scarf person is wear scarves. They are so fantastic for tying together colors in an outfit and making you look put together. I think they are one of the most underutilized accessories.

    • BabyAssociate

      Check the Real Real if you want a Hermes. I also like Echo Design scarves, they’re a bit thinner than Hermes, which can be a plus depending on how you wear it.

    • CR

      An upper crust church thrift shop is great for these kinds of scarves! I love them, too.

  5. Powder Foundation?

    For years I’ve used the Bobbi Brown Powder Foundation as my makeup go-to. I really like the simplicity of the one step but my colors seem to be changing and I’m not matching as well as I used to with their colors. Anyone have a powder foundation they love? I’m kind of overwhelmed by Reddit’s makeup forums. Thanks.

    • Anon

      I like IT cosmetics powder foundation. Not sure the exact name. Goes on smooth and doesn’t settle into fine lines.

    • Legally Brunette

      That powder foundation is my go to but my biggest gripe is that the powder shatters so easily. Ugh. Just shattered mine (again) this morning.

      I don’t recommend Mac’s studio fix, great coverage and colors but it has a lot of talc and leaves a whitish cast in photos.

      • anonshmanon

        You can repair shattered pressed powders. It’s been a while, but I did it with some blush once and it was super simple. If it’s only cracked in a few large pieces, you break them up a bit further first. Then you add rubbing alcohol and it turns into a paste, you can stir with a toothpick to make sure everything gets wet. Then you leave it to dry and it sets back in the container.

      • anon.

        I KNOW. I’ve had at least 3-4 shatter over the last few years. So frustrating. BB replaced it once, for what it’s worth.

    • Houda

      MAC is also owned by ELCO the parent company of Bobbi Brown they share many formulations.
      MAC studio fix powder comes in tons of shades with yellow, neutral and red undertones.
      You didn’t specify whether you are light or dark skinned. If you are dark skinned, I recommend Black-up 2 way cake

      • anon0314

        Just a heads up, if your skin is sensitive… MAC gives me cystic acne… I loved the colors for so long without realizing it really instigated my already acne prone skin.

  6. Anonymous

    For those that use a cleaning service- how clean is your place after a cleaning? I am trying to decide if I should look for a new service or if I should be happy I have someone reliable that we trust in our home.

    I started out with a husband/wife team, and over the 3 years we’ve used them, instead of husband and wife, it switched to husband and 3rd person, and now 3rd person and 4th person. Wife owns the business and is expanding, which is great!

    Our basics get done and always have: bathrooms are swiffered and toilets scrubbed, shower and bath are cleaned. All surfaces are wiped.

    I guess I’m wondering- if I look under any dressers and find dust, or look at the radiators and see dust, or look in the corners of lesser used rooms (living room/dining room) and see cobwebs- is this par for the course? And while we don’t often use our dining room, i was surprised (while looking for a missing kid shoe…). to find a large crumb that was clearly from Christmas (it was a piece of the fancy cookies we had)- so they missed it for the past 3 months or only really cleaned after Christmas and haven’t vacuumed under the table since.

    Anyway, just trying to figure out if I need to ask them to spend more time and do a “deep clean” (for more $) soon, or if they are just not doing a thorough job.

    our house is no picnic to clean- we have 3 kids under 6 and a dog. But we live in an area where that’s the average household and we pay market rate.

    • mascot

      This wouldn’t be acceptable to me. It could be something as simple as the new team doesn’t really know what your expectations are. We periodically check-in with our housekeeper and ask to her to turn her focus to certain things or emphasize that we need rarely rooms cleaned (like the guest room). On our part, we are good about keeping stuff picked up before she comes so she spends her time cleaning, not straightening and we get weekly service so our house never really gets super dirty all over. Maybe the answer is that you need a deep clean to get things back to baseline or you need a whole new service, but I wouldn’t assume that before you gave them the chance to fix it in a normal visit or tow.

    • Junior Associate

      Have you tried mentioning this to the cleaning service? I don’t think you should have to pay more as it seems to be part of their job, but it’s understandable if the areas are not regularly in use and they can’t get to everything at once…so the areas just get neglected. Perhaps they could get to them over a few weeks, and if the situation doesn’t improve you can always switch services?

      I’ve had the same cleaning lady for the past few years and have occasionally had this problem in parts of my studio apartment (e.g. dust balls under beds/sofas). I don’t think she cleans all parts of the house thoroughly every time she comes (weekly), but since I mentioned that I’ve noticed A B thing and would like her to be mindful of those points / I’d like her to “deep clean” different parts of the house as she sees fit (she can take her time and spread it over several weeks, but I’d like her to take the initiative of going over different parts periodically and have an eye out for what needs to be done), she does clean everything on a more thorough level on a rotating schedule, which has mostly resolved the issue. If there is something that I particularly want her to pay attention to, I leave a note asking her to thoroughly check for X and Y thing everywhere / every time. It’s not 100%, but better.

      Granted, it’s probably much much easier for me/my cleaning lady since I live alone and it’s just one room, but even so I don’t expect to find everything to my liking (thanks to pro tip from my mom, who had four siblings and grew up in a giant house with a live-in cook and a series of live-in cleaning ladies, in the days before my country was industrialized).

      Also, to be fair, I have been happy with having someone who will generally take care of things as are necessary without me having to micromanage everything, which makes me gloss over some of the shortcomings (my cleaning lady takes care of my dry cleaning drop off / pickup, will arrange electrician / maintenance visits for when she is at the house, and stock up on cleaning supplies / household items I ask for, or just needs stocking up on).

    • Junior Associate

      Comment disappeared :(

      Have you tried mentioning this to the cleaning service? I don’t think you should have to pay more as it seems to be part of their job, but it’s understandable if the areas are not regularly in use and they can’t get to everything at once…so the areas just get neglected. Perhaps they could get to them over a few weeks, and if the situation doesn’t improve you can always switch services?

      I’ve had the same cleaning lady for the past few years and have occasionally had this problem in parts of my studio apartment (e.g. dust balls under beds/sofas). I don’t think she cleans all parts of the house thoroughly every time she comes (weekly), but since I mentioned that I’ve noticed A B thing and would like her to be mindful of those points / I’d like her to “deep clean” different parts of the house as she sees fit (she can take her time and spread it over several weeks, but I’d like her to take the initiative of going over different parts periodically and have an eye out for what needs to be done), she does clean everything on a more thorough level on a rotating schedule, which has mostly resolved the issue. If there is something that I particularly want her to pay attention to, I leave a note asking her to thoroughly check for X and Y thing everywhere / every time. It’s not 100%, but better.

      Granted, it’s probably much much easier for me/my cleaning lady since I live alone and it’s just one room, but even so I don’t expect to find everything to my liking (thanks to pro tip from my mom, who had four siblings and grew up in a giant house with a live-in cook and a series of live-in cleaning ladies, in the days before my country was industrialized).

      Also, to be fair, I have been happy with having someone who will generally take care of things as are necessary without me having to micromanage everything, which makes me gloss over some of the shortcomings (my cleaning lady takes care of my dry cleaning drop off / pickup, will arrange electrician / maintenance visits for when she is at the house, and stock up on cleaning supplies / household items I ask for, or just needs stocking up on).

    • H13

      Following with interest. We have a cleaner come every two weeks. The major things get done and they are all things I do not want to do but there are definitely cobwebs, dust under things, etc. We try to keep costs down by asking her to clean in two hours so maybe there isn’t enough time, but sometimes she does have a second person.

      • AnonInfinity

        I don’t know the size of your house, but if you’re limiting the amount of time, there will be some spots that don’t get clean. I am good about cleaning as I go and doing a little every day (quick wipe down of bathroom as I’m brushing my teeth; make my bed every day, etc.), and it takes me about 1.5 hrs to thoroughly clean my apartment (1100 sq ft) on the weekend. So it doesn’t surprise me that it would take even two people longer than 2 hours to thoroughly clean a house for a family every two weeks.

        If the cleaners’ time isn’t being limited, then I would expect things like big crumbs, dust on surfaces, and cobwebs to be gone. When I had a cleaning service, it was VERY clean every time she came. I don’t know if I got lucky, but I never had any of those problems. Every now and then, it was clear that she’d skipped a room that I never use, but I guess she’d go back to it every few visits because there were never cobwebs or visible dust. I did not expect her to clean under the furniture, especially without asking for a deep cleaning first.

        • AnonInfinity

          She did clean under the dining table. Just wanted to make it clear that “I did not expect her to clean under furniture” means that she didn’t clean under furniture that would have to be moved.

      • Anonymous

        I’m the OP. When our house is cleaned, it’s 2-3 people that take 1-2 hours depending. I’m almost always home so I know.
        Sometimes they are chattier, sometimes we are messier, and sometimes they just do a better job.
        We have a 9 room /2.5 bath home but they only clean 3/4 BRs (if I leave the guest room door open they’ll run the vacuum hut that’s it) and they do not clean my office.

    • JazzyRose

      I think you should address the problems with the business owner/wife. Its possible that with specifics she’ll chose to fix things.

      Have you ever read Nickled and Dimed? One of the things Barbara Ehrenrich mentions is that cleaning companies push their workers to work faster–for example wiping things down before the cleaning agent has time to work because they think customers only care about things looking clean.

    • Aggie

      My home is spotless after the cleaners leave….like picture perfect magazine level. However, I insist that they use my tools (broom, vacuum, toilet brush, etc), cleaning products and have asked that they do not use swiffer products on the floor. They created a schedule that covers one major deep cleaning on an eight week rotation in addition to the basics. For example, this week they cleaned baseboards and window sills.

      Also, I clear all surfaces and floors prior to their arrival so that they do not need to tidy up or do dishes, they only clean. I have two dogs and two kids so I vacuum almost every day to keep the hair and dirt in check.

    • anon0314

      I have had a mixed bag of cleaning people over the yrs- you should definitely mention the spots you think should be cleaned and see if that can be improved. However, for me, the biggest thing I need my people to clean is my bathrooms (I’ll wipe down the sink area every couple of days, but haven’t scrubbed my toilet in yrs, which I really don’t want to spend my minimal time doing). If it’s btwn having a cleaning person & not having a cleaning person- keep someone that is ok, but not great, and still gets the major stuff done, I’ll keep them as long as they are trustworthy & reliable– and I think this is most cleaners.
      BUT- I currently have a group that is really good. I do pay a little more for them, but imho it’s worth it- they really get into the nooks and crannies and it’s soooo great.

    • Anon

      I would mention that you want those areas cleaned, DEFINITELY mention the crumb in the dining room (that is gross) and give them another chance. But be really serious about that. If it improves for one cleaning but then goes back to the old way, I wouldn’t give them a third chance.

      I just got rid of my cleaning service. They were great in the beginning but started to take me and my $150 check for granted over time. Things were barely done or done badly. LOTS of little things were getting broken. They asked for another chance but they were already on their second chance so I softened the blow a little by saying I might use them for occasional cleaning (like if I have people coming over or something) but not every other week.

      • Anonymous

        I’m the OP- this is a bit of my concern. They are so reliable, have never broken anything and nothing has ever gone missing (not that they’d steal- just that sometimes stuff isn’t put in weird places). And I don’t have to clean my own toilets. So I really don’t want to mess up a good thing if they’re pretty good- I can hunt down dust bunnies in my down time or do a deep clean sometimes.

        • Anon

          Yeah I’ve had the same woman cleaning for me for years (through 3 moves), and she’s super reliable, never breaks stuff, and is really flexible. My bathrooms and kitchen are spotless but I totally find dust bunnies in odd nooks and crannies and I am just okay with this. It’s worth it to me to be able to have someone I trust with my keys in my house while I’m gone. Up to you how important this is. Some of the other commenters would find this a dealbreaker but I’m not one of them.

    • No

      That’s a hard no from me. I grew up cleaning houses with my mom, so my standards are impossibly high. So I found a mom and a son, much like my mom and me, and they are spectacular and super efficient. The quoted me lower than market, so I pay them market and a small tip because I know it goes to her son.

      So my two cents are find a Hispanic mom starting her business cleaning homes and hire her. Best cleaning services you will ever receive.

  7. Chelsea NYC with Toddler

    End of April visiting brother in law in Chelsea in NYC for long weekend with 3 YO DD and DH. Ideas for what to do with toddler? High line? Central Park too far? We are walkers /subway riders. Parents in law will be in town and want to meet for food – told them we will need close subway accessible restaurants assuming waiting for Uber with car seat is not worth wait time? (Isn’t in DC IMO) Do we bother taking umbrella stroller or carry/walk with toddler? Thoughts on bathroom breaks for 3 YO? Thanks!!

    • Anonymous

      Central Park is not too far and basically all of Manhattan is reasonable to a subway. There are Starbucks everywhere for bathroom breaks. I’d bring a stroller for sure unless three year old is used to lots of walking and also worrying about running into traffic is super stressful.

      • Anonymous

        +1 to all of this. The high line can be really crowded; I would definitely make time for Central Park or other green spaces.

    • Anonymous

      We took our daughter to NYC at that age. We brought our umbrella stroller (a nice one, not one of the tiny cheap ones), even though we had long since quit using it at home, and were very glad we did. She was happy to sit in it and observe the city instead of walking miles and miles, and it was useful for containing her on busy sidewalks and on the subway. As an alternative, I have seen a lot of NYC parents using soft carriers with kids that age.

    • anon

      Definitely bring a stroller. We brought DS to NYC at 3 and a half, and I definitely wish we had brought a stroller for him. He would have been too big to carry in a carrier comfortably.

    • Anon in NYC

      I have a 3 year old. Definitely bring an umbrella stroller. Walking / subway is easier. Since you’re on the West Side, you can definitely take the train up to the museum of natural history, if that would be of interest. The High Line would be great with a 3 year old. I would plan to visit a lot of playgrounds. Battery Park City is full of families, and there is a great playground down there with a sandbox. As for bathroom breaks, I think you can always try to duck into a restaurant or coffee places and ask if they’ll let you use the bathroom for your kid. Many places will be accommodating. Or, usually even easier, go inside a hotel. There is usually a bathroom off the lobby / near the restaurant/bar. There may be bathrooms in playgrounds/parks, but cleanliness can be an issue.

  8. coffee

    Thanks for the feedback yesterday on the overeager employee who wants to chat and debrief constantly. I think I do just need to make expectations more clear about what’s *not* necessary, like checking in all the time. I know she used to work for a notoriously terrible boss, so she’s probably overcompensating.

    What surprised me was how many folks suggested keeping my door closed. Do many of you work that way, with your doors closed? This is a question of no consequence, obviously, but it would never occur to me to shut my door unless I were having a private conversation or a meeting on something sensitive.

    • Anonymous

      I have my door closed off and on all day — whether because there’s too much noise in the halls, or because I need to concentrate and the closed door helps me do that.

    • Anonymous

      I often keep my door closed to block out the incessant gossip that goes on in the cubes.

        • Anonymous

          No, it’s the honest truth. I know waaaay too much about one person’s daughter’s divorce, another person’s medical condition, a third person’s children’s school issues, and a fourth person’s boat and dogs. I can’t concentrate while I am listening to them and it makes me feel icky to eavesdrop inadvertently.

        • anon

          This, the closing of doors against chatter, and the perceived snottiness of it, is a big thing in my office right now. If you have a door, you have the option. Use it, so that the rest of us can chat with one less person’s needs to consider.

        • Anon

          It really is. People get to have lives and even talk about them at work. Sorry if you don’t like existing around other people.

          • Anonymous

            It is not snotty to close one’s office door to block out chatter. That is literally the purpose of doors.

    • anon

      My door is usually closed. People can knock and come in whenever they’d like. My office is across from the copy room, around the corner from reception, next to someone who has frequent visitors who discuss business while standing in her doorway, and down the hall from the kitchen/break room. Oh, and my assistant sits across the hall and tends to yell into the phone when she answers it. It’s like Grand Central Station around my office.

    • Anonymous

      I do, mostly if I need to concentrate on reading/writing/editing a document. Sometimes, I’m in a cranky mood or annoyed at coworkers (generally from too many late nights together and demanding client expectations) and I close my door as a sign to not bother me. Also, I close when on phone calls so I don’t bother others. However, right now, my door is open and I don’t plan to close it anytime soon.

    • Anon

      Never. I’m available to my staff and coworkers always. That’s part of the job. I’m not a technician, I’m a manager. I do have my own tasks, but I’m not going to close myself off from the world while I complete them.

      I was the poster who suggested you schedule two regular meetings per day with your new staff member so that she gets face time and training, but so that it isn’t all day long two minutes at at time.

      • coffee

        Two scheduled meetings a day with anyone would drive me batty, tbh. We did a huge amount of training in her first 2 weeks, but a lot of this is just learn on the job work (i.e. you learn the process by seeing and doing and taking notes) and isn’t at all complicated for her role, so it’s not really a need for more training. I wouldn’t be as bothered if it were just popping her head in for a quick question — it’s the lingering, wanting to chat and hang out behavior that I’m trying to nip. I’ve tried to wrap up these conversations quicker by saying “sounds good – need anything else?” so we’ll see if that works.

        • S

          She sounds like a nervous person looking for reassurance. I’m this sort of person and I have to very actively curb my prodding for more feedback, but it gets easier as I settle into a job and build trust with my colleagues and manager. She’s just checking in with you to make sure she’s on the right path until she feels more comfortable.

    • Daffodil

      I close mine when I have a long call or when I need to concentrate (ie a focused hour + of drafting a brief, motion, etc). Otherwise, it stays open.

    • CPA Lady

      I keep mine open most of the time most of the year. During tax season, if I really need to focus and crank through reviewing a lot of returns, I shut it. I’ll also shut it if it’s daylight savings time week during tax season and people are stressed and in foul moods and I don’t want to listen to them bicker over who lost a folder. Hypothetically speaking. A lot of folks on my floor keep their doors shut all day, which is odd, because its a very quiet floor. Tax people are a wild bunch.

    • anon

      I no longer work in an office but worked in a variety of law offices (and an in-house legal department) before I started my own firm. I tried to keep my door open when it wasn’t bothersome to me. So, I would liberally close it if I wasn’t focusing well that day, had a project that required more focus than normal, the office was just more noisy than normal, an office neighbor was being loud or had their radio on a bit too loud, or whatever other reason that would mean that a closed door lead to better productivity. Every office I worked in generally had a “knock if the door is closed” versus “avoid if the door is closed” mentality, so that helped. I also think the unpredictability helped stem any issues around gossip about WHY my door was closed at any given time. I think the whole thing is very much a know-your-office (and boss, and subordinates) issue.

    • Rainbow Hair

      We have a holler-down-the-hall culture (there are five offices that open into a shared middle space, and we all work closely together all day, so you’ll frequently hear CEO calling “[EVP1]!!! Did you ever hear back from Ted?!” and she’ll say “Ask [GC] I think they talked!” and then whomever actually needs to be part of the conversation will walk into whomever’s office and talk about whatever. (It’s not constant hollering, that’s just how a conversation begins.)

      So I only close my door when (1) it’s going to be a long speakerphone call, (2) it’s a personnel or otherwise sensitive matter, or (3) when I have to make an appointment and/or am crying. And the understanding is that if someone’s door is closed, you’d only knock if it was an emergency.

    • Small Firm IP Litigator

      I only close my door when I am on the phone, or when I am eating at my desk. That’s generally the office custom here, although our office is generally quiet and if you leave your door closed too long, your office temp will rise to unbearable (80+) levels.

    • Inspired by Hermione

      I close it if I need to focus (my office is right on the main hall and it can be a little bit chaotic), if I’m crying/sick/otherwise cannot deal/doing medical treatments when I have to do them in the office, and when I need to have a personal or difficult conversation, including with clients. If I know it’s going to be a difficult client conversation, I don’t want people walking by able to hear me; just because we can ethically share info within the office doesn’t mean my colleagues need to be able to hear about a client’s very, very personal life circumstances.

  9. Alter suit

    I have a classic black, straight leg suit that I never wear. I bought it for an interview and now it sits in the back of my closet. Has anyone altered the pants as part of a suit and cropped the legs? Like ankle length, not super short. I’m wondering if I would wear it more often, or at least reach for the pants more. It feels pretty stuffy now. I don’t expect to be interviewing any time in the future but I do attend higher level meetings and conferences, etc.

    • Anonymous

      I wouldn’t. I’ve altered other items to be something different than they originally were (not just altered for fit) and I’ve always found that it doesn’t exactly turn out the way I imagine. I would save the suit as a “just in case” and buy a pair of intentionally cropped black pants.

    • givemyregards

      I do this for basically all of my pants and I think as long as you find a tailor who understands what you’re looking for, it can work really well. I have really long legs and look best in skinny not-quite-ankle length pants, which are impossible for me to find in fabrics that come as full suits. So I buy full length pants and have them hemmed/tapered – I’ve done this with straight leg and even wide leg/bootcut trousers and they look great. It did take me a while to find the right tailor though – you’ll need someone who is up to date on women’s suiting trends.

      If it’s just sitting in the back of your closet, then you don’t have to much to lose even if they screw them up, right? If you already have a good tailor or can get a recommendation for one, I’d go for it.

      • Anon

        I’d find a tailor that is actually a dress maker and does dress making pretty often. Also, you need to be prepared for it not to work. In future, I’d just get a navy or dark grey suit for interviews. It needs to be fine to be ok, but it’s what the guys do and the blue and grey pieces are much more versatile.

  10. Biking

    Does anyone bike to commute to work? Thinking of adding it in once a week when it gets warm enough and was looking for advice/experiences? Live in the midwest, office is ~5 miles away from our house. I would bike it once over the weekend to find my route and timing. I work for a finance company and while it’s business professional, I start work before majority of my coworkers.

    • Curly

      Following this! I want to start biking to work as well (1.2 mi commute). I just ordered some tires that are supposed to not puncture so easily. I’m not sure yet how to deal with the helmet smooshing my hair or the fact that I frequently wear skirts.

      • Anon

        I biked both a 1 mile commute and a 7 mile commute in DC, and generally wear skirts to work. If you take it slow (AKA don’t work up a sweat), you should be able to do the 1.2 mile in a skirt and be pretty fresh for the office when you arrive. It depends on the type of hair you have, but 1.2 miles was short enough that I didn’t get helmet head (although maybe dry shampoo could help as well?). They have various things you can use to keep your skirt in place, but I never used them and was generally OK. For the 7 mile commute I wore wokrout gear and was gross when I got to the office but we have a gym in the basement so I showered and got ready there.

        • emeralds

          I did a flat 1.5ish mile bike commute a few days a week to my old job, and generally wore my work clothes unless it was really hot–then I packed them in a backpack and changed at work. I never actually had issues biking in a skirt, but did throw some spandex running shorts underneath just in case.

      • Katie

        I don’t always bike to work, but when I do, I wear workout clothes and change into my work clothes at the office. If your bike commute is only 1.2 miles, you will probably not work up much of a sweat, so you could probably arrive relatively un-rumpled and just swap out shorts for your work skirt. My office has a gym/locker room, so I carried my necessities in a backpack and used those facilities to put myself together when I arrived.

    • Anon

      I do! I bring my clothes in a backpack and change at work. I shower before work, so any sweat is at least clean sweat.
      Have at minimum a rear blinky light for visibility.
      I ride a road bike with regular road tires and haven’t had an issue with flats. For most of my commute, I take the lane, as I can keep up with traffic if I hustle. The only time I’ve ever been tagged by a car was in the bike lane. Do what you need to do to be visible, even when that means taking the lane. DO NOT ride in the gutter/on the white line. If I were doing it all over again, I’d get a second pair of shoes that’s more geared toward commuters. I’ve ruined a good pair of road shoes clipping in and out at stoplights.
      It’s actually faster for me to ride than to drive (4.5 mile commute) most of the time.

    • DLC

      Before I had kids, I commuted by bike (7 miles). I work in a pretty casual environment so I usually biked in my bottoms (pants, skirt, leggings, etc.) and a t-shirt. For me, the key to feeling not gross and sweaty when I got to work (where there were no showers) was to bring baby wipes and deodorant. When I got to work, I would wipe down with the baby wipes in the bathroom and change into a fresh bra and top. The fresh bra was key.

      • Biking

        Good to note, our office doesn’t have a shower and I don’t know if I told my coworkers I biked in and then didn’t shower, they’d think it’s gross. Any horror stories of getting caught in the rain? Since I only want to do it once a week I’ll be checking the weather to plan which day, but I want to be prepared for any potential problems.

        • Anon

          I used to do a 100% 4 mile bike commute. Keep an extra change of clothes just in case of a freak thunderstorm, and baby wipes if you do end up breaking more of a sweat than anticipated. Agree that for 1-2 miles, you can probably go slowly enough that there’s no need to shower and change, except perhaps in the middle of summer. If you prefer to change clothes, get panniers so that you can pack your work clothes nicely, and choose clothes that don’t wrinkle at the drop of a hat.

        • emeralds

          I checked the forecast carefully and didn’t bike if it looked at all dubious in the morning.

          FWIW, I found the afternoons to be simultaneously trickier and easier–trickier because it was harder to predict exactly what the weather would be doing, but easier because if I got caught in the rain, well, I was just going home anyway. I did bail on biking and beg a ride from a coworker who lived near me maybe…three times total, for snow and s couple of bad summer storms.

        • DLC

          Yes, if it was raining, I put an extra pair of bottoms in my bag in a waterproof something. I went back and forth between panniers and backpack and ultimately went with backpack because the panniers I had added a lot of weight.
          Also- I work in a very casual environment so your mileage might vary, but sometime it was easier to bike in the rain without rain gear- as someone pointed out to me, rain gear doesn’t breather very well, so either way, you are either going to be wet from rain or wet from sweat.
          Also- if you can figure it out, find a place inside to lock up your bike – it’s just safer.

    • Blueberries

      Biking to work feels awesome! Logistics are no big deal—you’ll figure out what works for you. You can nerd out on gear and optimization if that appeals to you after you get started. To start, just make sure you wear a helmet, and have front and rear lights if you plan to bike at twilight/in the dark.

      One benefit of biking is tapping into the network of people who bike. At my old firm that included the janitor and partners who wanted to chat once they realized that we had something in common. In my area, cycling attracts the sort of people golf attracts elsewhere.

    • Anon

      I wear suits when I bike to work. I also bike slowly so I don’t sweat a lot like others. In the summer, when it gets very hot, i’ll leave my blazer in the office and just put it on once I get to the office.

      The most important thing is wearing opaque black pantyhose. That stops you from accidentally flashing people. Ironically, I wear pants a lot more in the summer time because I can’t wear pantyhose anymore and pants do a better job in preventing flashes.

    • Sutemi

      I bike to work 5.5 miles, and shower and change after I arrive. My work shoes and cardigans live at work.

      Previously when I had a 1 mile commute I didn’t change (unless I wanted shorts on hot days). I think this can be a mistake, since workout clothes are much more comfortable for biking and I would wear through the seat of my pants fairly quickly. Not a huge problem for a grad student wearing jeans, but not desirable for nicer clothes.

  11. Double-Bingo

    Another law firm photo question – my firm is doing head shots and candids for the web site next week. I think I’m set on what to wear based on prior threads, but my conundrum is makeup. I wear relatively minimal makeup on a daily basis: mascara, BB cream, filled in eyebrows, and a swipe of bronzer/blush. I want to look good in these pictures (my current head shot was taken when I was 5 weeks postpartum and it is… not great), but also don’t want to look radically different from how I do every day. I am also terrible at applying eye makeup. I am thinking it is worth it to pay for professional makeup application, since it will involve a skilled person using better quality products than I have or would use enough to be worthwhile. But is this overkill? Would subtle false lashes be too much in this context (I love getting them done for weddings)?

    Also, if I do it, should I give a heads-up to the only other female attorney at the firm? I don’t want to suggest that it’s necessary or expected, I just don’t want it to be some big surprise and have her feel strange about it. We’re friendly and at a similar level of seniority, and she was around for the last round of head shots, if that makes a difference.

    • Never too many shoes...

      I had professional makeup and a blowout done for my last firm photo and it made a huge difference. Go for it.

    • AnonInfinity

      I definitely think professional makeup is a good idea, but wouldn’t say anything to my coworker unless it came up organically somehow.

    • Anon

      Don’t do fake lashes, even if they are subtle. They look good at weddings because you’re trying to look glam.

    • Anonymous

      Don’t give her a heads up, don’t do false lashes, do your own makeup. You already wear a lot of makeup! Add a decent lip color and call it a day.

      But def don’t tell her, it’s weird, she doesn’t care what your headshot looks like

      • Fringe

        BB Cream, bronzer/blush, brows, and mascara is Not a lot of makeup. That’s less than what most people I’ve seen wear to work and my work skews older (45+)/conservative. I would recommend OP swap the BB cream for a buildable/medium coverage foundation (digital cameras pick up redness way too easily), same bronzer/blush, a subtle eye liner just to enhance the lash line, brows, and mascara. It won’t make her look drastically different, but will compensate for the things that tend to get exacerbated or washed out by digital cameras.

    • Anon

      Do you have a regular makeup pro? I’ve only had it done a couple times, but each time I looked like a clown. I wear little to no makeup in real life so when they apply a lot it just looks ridiculous. I think I’d look great in photos with light, truly natural makeup, but no makeup artist I’ve ever seen has been able to follow that instruction.

      • Anon

        +1 to this. I have had my makeup done for occasions before and I didn’t feel I looked much like myself. I’d hate to have this memorialized on a website.

      • Anon

        +1 I was going to say, if you do get a makeup artist, you should definitely do a trial first.

    • Lash Lover

      I wouldn’t feel like I needed to discuss it with anyone else, but I’d totally go for the makeup (with a trial run). And yes to the lashes if you want – I wear subtle false eyelashes every single day and love them dearly. There are “naturals” options out there that don’t scream instagrammer glam – when you find ones that suit your eye shape they just look like you grew your own perfectly balanced sweeping lashes. (Granted, I’m very practiced at flawless application since I’ve worn them for several years, but an artist should certainly be able to handle that).

    • anonshmanon

      My makeup routine sounds similar to yours. The last time I got headshots made, I upped the bronzer and blush, plus I got a subtle lip color and tightlined my upper lid. Not so different from everyday, but just a bit more color+ contrast.
      The photographer also applied some powder to get rid of shine, and I am very happy with the result.

    • The original Scarlett

      I would absolutely get your hair and makeup done, and I’d also do lashes – professional makeup just photographs better, and lashes might look dramatic IRL but not in photos. I’d also tell your coworker, but I tend to have these relationships with my female colleagues- we talk about what we’re planning to wear to XYZ things, etc., and this falls into that category. Doesn’t mean she needs to do it too, it’s just nice to know what others are planning.

      • anon

        All of this. Though with as little make up as you normally wear, if the lashes seem too much, I’d quickly drop them. I’ve done my own fake lashes for some big events and they turn out looking great, but I really don’t think they are necessary in a professional setting. It’s all about which ones the artist chooses, though.

    • Small Firm IP Litigator

      I wrote the below, and decided I should first disclose I am in Los Angeles….so ymmv.

      Doesn’t the photographer bring a make-up and hair person? I did my own makeup and hair, and had this person touch me up – that worked well. (The makeup person also put makeup on the dudes who wanted it.) I wear no-so-subtle eyelash extensions, including for firm photos but think it is up to you if you want to have this look. The photographer will also be photoshopping the photos for things like zits, errant hairs, etc., right?

  12. Blogger

    I’m thinking about starting a blog. The internet includes some helpful pages about how to create a blog. And I have an idea of where I want to take it and I’m not looking to make it profitable.
    For those of you who either blog or started a blog and then did not continue it, what do you find are the biggest challenges? Any tips for successfully getting it off the ground? What were the unexpected surprises (good and bad)?

    • Anon

      “Not looking to make it profitable” and “successfully getting it off the ground” are a bit contradictory to me. Either you’re looking to write for yourself (or friends and family), in which case there’s no “getting it off the ground” required, or you really are trying to make it into a business, in which case there’s a lot to learn. If it’s just for fun, just start writing and don’t worry about the business of bl0gging.

      • Blogger

        I’d like to build a following of people beyond friends and family (get it off the ground), but I’m not looking to make money on it.

        • Anon

          It depends on what you’re blogging about and how valuable that information is to people. I find that frequent posts and updates (of relevant contents, not just updates for the sake of updates) will keep readers coming and staying. I have a blog that’s in a very niche interest group so I don’t get a ton of readers. I only have 1K followers or so, and a few dozens of commenters on my posts which in the world of twitter and FB is only a speck of sand. But I enjoy the community and the smaller scale interaction.

        • Xin

          I also write a fairly niche personal blog, and have also found that frequent posts and updates, and regular interaction with readers/commenters, keeps people coming back. Because my blog is so personal, I only have maybe ~300 followers at most, and only ~20 people who comment semi-regularly (including other bloggers I’m friendly with), but I enjoy the interaction and so I make time for writing on the blog and maintaining it. Because fashion/shopping are among my interests, I am able to make a little money off of the blog, but it’s a super-negligible amount.

    • busybee

      I know two people who started blogs to blog about specific interests that they are both exceptionally good at (baking and cookie decorating). They both stopped after a few months because it was just too much work between coming up with written content and taking good photos. They both have full-time jobs and thought the blog would be a fun hobby. Turns out the blog became too much work and they got burned out. If you want to start a blog because you enjoy writing, just write. Keep a journal or a Word doc or something. Of course, if you end up like my burned-out blog friends, it’s no big deal. I just recommend not spending any money on a web page or anything.

    • Anonymous

      I’m not a blogger, but I’ve read that really solid interaction with commenters helps, as does closely monitoring the comments. Also, you can build a following by finding other similar blogs, or other blogs that your desired readers would enjoy, and comment on those blogs (genuinely, not in a sales-y way) with a link to your blog.

      • Anon

        On the flipside, I am a bl0gger and I find people that respond to every comment really come across as desperate. By all means, if someone comments on your post with a question or comment that naturally demands a response, give one. But responding to every “I Love this post!” comment with a “Thanks so much, I’m glad I could help” is a very amateur-ish look.

    • Anon

      I feel like blogs are outdated. Most people are curating content on Instagram and YouTube now.

        • Anon

          +1. If your interest is something that can be expressed visually, head to Instagram as your platform. I haven’t regularly read blogs in 4-5 years. (This doesn’t count IMO)

      • Anonymous

        This bugs me because I do not want to have to sign up for Instagram and let Facebook spy on me just so I can see the latest fashion trends.

    • Anon

      I’d start one and write a few posts to build it up before looking for an audience. Back in the dark ages I had a lot of followers from engaging with other bloggers, but how to promote youself should will depend on what your blog content is.

    • Anonymous

      Best advice: start with a list of topics for the blog. You need at least 20–if you struggle to get to 20 in your brainstorming phase–that’s a hint that you need to do more thinking about it. The hardest part is creating the content ideas. Everyone has 1 great idea and 3-4 good ideas–the trick is can you get to at least 20. If you can–go for it–if you can’t–go for it, but understand it is likely to become a struggle at some point.

    • Quitter

      I started a blog and quit within a year. It was SO time consuming to come up with enough content to keep it fresh (multiple times a week) and take/edit decent photos that would be pinterest-ing enough to promote growth. I started it as a hobby to stay out of my spouse’s hair while he was studying in law school, but he usually finished up well before I did.

    • Another blogger

      I’ve been blogging for a niche audience or over 10 years, and I’ve gone through cycles of obsession (where I wanted to blog all the time and had a million ideas that I couldn’t get to fast enough) and burnout (where I took week-long breaks and wondered if I’d ever want to write again). Three things have kept me going: (1) I have a commercial incentive because my blog helps drive traffic to my store website even though the blog itself barely makes anything through affiliate links to other companies; (2) I have 2 volunteer writers who are equally passionate about our subject; sometimes we all take a break at the same time, sometimes we’re all “on” at the same time, and others times we alternate keeping the content running; and (3) I give myself permission to be mediocre and take time off when I need to. I often consider quitting, but it’s #2 and #3 that have helped the most. Every now and then I’ll hear about a reader that I helped, but that doesn’t happen often enough!

    • Kat G

      Wow, lots of bloggers as readers! A few quick tips from me if you want them, depending on your niche:
      a) if you want to help people/build a community/create a resource that doesn’t exist, do some googling to see what else already exists and what the setup is for building engagement. Keywords and SEO will be important so you can be found. (I’ve always done Yoast courses but have heard great things about Hashtag Jeff.)
      b) If you just want to document a hobby or journey (like getting fit, learning to bake, finding your personal style, whatever) do consider Instagram as your main platform, with a blog that is little more than a home for the Instagram stuff.
      c) Education – Problogger products are all great, I would also recommend books like Ruth Soukup’s (something like blogging without selling your soul — it’s the basis for her Elite Blog Academy, which as a course is great for newbies but very expensive these days ($800?) and the once-per-year enrollment just closed). Michael Hyatt’s book about platforms is also very good (and worth reading if your topic is conducive to speaking or that sort of thing). Pat Flynn’s thoughts on niches might also be good (I think his book, Will it Fly, might also be worth pointing you towards), although I haven’t followed him as much the past few years.
      Good luck!

  13. Triangle Pose

    Hi, you all are so great with this, does anyone have recommendations for Tulum Mexico? Going first week of April, no kids. Any must see cenote or ruins? Just planning on sitting on the beach and walking up to taco shacks but let me know if there’s a must-go restaurant or activity. TIA!

    • Anon

      I went snorkeling in a cenote near Tulum a few years ago. (I do not remember the name of the cenote or the company I used.) We used a tour company because we did not have a car, but it was super low-key– just one other family and my husband and me. It was one of the coolest things we’ve ever done and was definitely the highlight of our trip!

    • Never too many shoes...

      The actual ruins in Tulum are very beautiful, perched up high over the ocean, with a beach down below where you can swim. They are my favourite ruins in Mexico.

    • JTM

      Was just in Tulum last month. We skipped the Cenotes but did the Mayan ruins, which were beautiful and nice to visit. There’s also a beach.

      We stayed in an Airbnb downtown and just did a daytrip to Casa Malca, but highly recommend it if you want to get away from your resort or want a change of scenery.

    • Anon

      I was in Tulum last month. We went to Cenote Casa Tortuga, which was a great choice – relatively close by, not crowded, and really beautiful. It’s actually four different cenotes in one, and we got to swim/explore each of them. Highly recommend!

      Azulik Tulum is a hotel, but has some great views/photo opportunities, if you’re into that. We went to get drinks at sunset and it was gorgeous. Gitano is really popular for drinks and dancing, particularly on a Friday night. And don’t miss Taqueria Honorio, which is in the town, for breakfast/lunch tacos.

      Also you will not regret getting a massage on the beach! We just went to the beach near Coco Tulum and walked a little ways and found a small, outdoor massage stand on the sand. The massage was great and about $35 USD. Have fun!

  14. Tipping Movers

    Another day, another moving question. Big interstate move about to happen. Movers will be at Location A to pick up all the things and then about a week later will be at Location B (900 miles away) with all the things. 99% of all the things will already be packed. There is little furniture. They’ll disassemble/wrap the furniture and pack one standing mirror at Location A. At Location B they’ll put whatever furniture they took apart (probably just the bed) back together. They are not doing any other unpacking. I can’t remember how this works because it’s been years since I’ve moved. Do I tip them at both locations? How much?

  16. cici

    Can someone recommend an amazing comforter? Open to down or down alternative (and hearing the pluses or minuses of both. With our current one, the filling has all moved around making it flat in some places and balled up in others. thank you!

    • BB

      I recommended this yesterday…Pacific Coast Down makes great comforters. They definitely don’t ball up (most of them have baffles) and they fluff back up very nicely.

    • Anon

      Can you put your current comforter in a dryer with dryer balls or tennis balls? That would help with the bunching. We do it on ours a lot. Using heat also helps with dust/dust mites.

      • anon

        +1 When I used a duvet I also made a point to rotate it regularly (foot to head, side to side and maybe even a 90 degree turn if it works for the shape of your bed).

    • Never too many shoes...

      I love real down (but we have no allergy issues). Costco has really reasonably priced duvets and ours has been in use for about a decade with no bunching or flat spots. It is a mid weight so not too puffy but warm enough for a Canadian winter’s night.

    • Anon

      I don’t use down simply because I don’t want to lay in animal feathers. While the live plucking of feathers is reportedly a thing of the past, it still goes on in many areas of the world. And regardless of when the feathers were plucked (live or after death), I don’t eat or wear animals and I don’t want to sleep among their remains either. But that is all a personal choice. That said, I find that using down alternative comforters that have closely sewn patterns really helps with the balling up.

      • Anonymous

        Thanks for the recommendation that came with a heaping side of dog-whistle self-righteousness!! LOL

    • Lobbyist

      Have a non down comforter from IKEA that I love. Warm and light and super cheap. If its gets grody I will just buy another.

    • Small Firm IP Litigator

      Have you considered silk? It is naturally hypoallergenic, lighter for the same warmth, and is better at regulating body temperature.

    • Anonymous

      I second the IKEA comforters. I have tried so many of the ones listed above and find that I love the IKEA ones the best. Bonus that they are less expensive than so many others. I have a down IKEA one.

    • Full of ideas

      Anything from Company Store! They last forever, even the cheaper ones.

  17. Anon

    Thanks for the tip on LibraryThing for cataloging my books. Yikes do I have a lot of books (>700). Scanning the bar code was great for the books that had one, typing in the ISBN or library of congress number for barcode-less books was a pain but ok, but there are really no resources for a book that has neither, which seems to be common for books from 1949 and prior… and I have a lot of those.

    I have a goal of donating or selling around 200 books this year. It helps to know the starting point so thanks for the tip.

    Are you aware of any app that would categorize my books by broad category? It doesn’t appear LibraryThing will do that. They’re strictly alphabetical by author or title.

    • Anon librarian

      You could look up your books in catalog.loc.gov and find out the call numbers that they have assigned (in the Library of Congress system). You could then use the Library of Congress classification outline to determine the broader subject areas https://www.loc.gov/catdir/cpso/lcco/
      That all said, that is waaaaay nerdier and more detailed than I would get and I was trained as a cataloger. Does LibraryThing not have a space for a category or classification? I have used it, but many years ago.

      • Anon

        Thanks. I didn’t see a spot for categorization in the app but maybe it’s more robust online.

        Thanks for the library of Congress assignment tip – I will definitely check it out.

        And, clearly, nothing is too nerdy for me.

    • Amberwitch

      Popular books are generally tagged with classifications of some sort, and a lot of my books have DDC/MDS or LC classifications from the library they have been imported from.
      I’ve tagged most of my 3000+ books with keywords and classifications so you are not alone in your nerdiness:)
      Registrering books without ISBN numbers requires choosing a source with the right variety, looking up titles or authors and then searching for the right edition. And sometimes nothing but typing the whole thing yourself works..

    • Amberwitch

      In mod with a longer reply – the browser version has a lot of classification options including tagging if you are up to it.

  18. Anonymous

    So anyone looking at this college admissions scandal and kind of understand why they did it? I don’t mean the celebrities but the finance guys, CEO etc. IDK why but I kind of get it (and no I didn’t grow up with those means – MC with first gen immigrant parents so I had no choice but to get into an ivy myself or not go to an ivy). But these guys — most of them went to similar schools, they know their kids are no where up to par so they tilt the playing field which wealthy people have done for generations. I mean I personally would do it via a building if I had that kind of $$$ not via fraud, but I can’t see having that kind of $$$ and NOT doing something and having my child end up at Rutgers when I went ivy.

    • Anonymous

      I have a theory that most rich and powerful people get to be rich and powerful by believing that the rules don’t apply to them, so I am never surprised when they do something like this.

    • Anon

      I get that they likely did it because of conceit and entitlement and laziness, but I wouldn’t have a problem with my kid going to Rutgers so no, I don’t identify with their bribery. I would want my kid to go somewhere that’s suited for them rather than stick them in an environment they’re not qualified for and in many cases an environment they don’t seem to truly even care about in the first place.

      • Anon

        This. I also think it’s a really terrible lesson to teach your kids that mommy or daddy will always bail them out. And even if your kid is smart and just didn’t apply themselves in high school, then maybe going to Rutgers instead of daddy’s alma mater Princeton will be a wake-up call and they’ll work harder and achieve more than they would have if they’d coasted to a bribed Princeton admission.

          • Anon

            If the kid expected Mommy and Daddy to get them into Princeton without them doing any work, yes…

          • Anon

            If you were taught to have an attitude like the Op, then I think it is. They can learn that they’re not better than everyone else even and that there’s nothing wrong with a perfectly good state school.

        • Anonymous

          Except the Princeton name and network stay with you forever, and as much as people protest — you DO get benefits of the doubt in certain fields like finance and law based on your school name. So I say teach the kid a lesson later – cut off his trust for a while and make him live on his starting salary for 5 years or whatever – but don’t teach that lesson regarding college names which follow you forever.

          • Anon

            Sure, you get benefits from the Princeton name, but I don’t believe my kid is entitled to every benefit in the world. Being from a rich, educated family confers tons of privilege in and of itself. Kids don’t need the Princeton name on top of that if they haven’t worked for it, and won’t make the most of it while they were there. I’m educated and affluent, but I don’t want to just hand my kid things they don’t deserve. I’m surprised this is such a shocking view.

          • Anon

            I know this s!te is focused at certain professions, but there are actually industries outside of finance and law and even geographic areas outside the east coast and mid-atlantic :) I’m not saying name recognition isn’t a thing, I absolutely know it is, but it’s not that important everywhere.

          • Anon

            Completely agree with Anon at 12:51. I don’t give a rat’s ass if someone went to Princeton vs Rutgers. If I was interviewing two candidates who went to those schools, I’d hire the one who was the better candidate. I actually think some people are getting so sick of the perceived privilege and snottiness from those schools that it can work against you.

          • Anon

            I keep hearing this but it hasn’t really computed for me in real life. Maybe because I’m in the Midwest and in manufacturing? I guess if you want to be at a PE firm in NYC it may be true. But there’s whole wide world out there. Nobody asks me where I went to college or law school. It’s all about my work and the interactions I have on a day to day basis.

          • Anon

            I’m sure it matters for certain types of workplaces, but truly nobody cares in my field. A degree from a state school with a strong engineering program is more of an asset than a Princeton degree. Most people don’t go to those schools and don’t care about those schools.

          • nona

            +1 to Anon @12:51.

            Additionally – people manage to get jobs (even in those professions and geographies) without the Princeton label and do fine! It’s not like you are penalizing your kid by NOT having the Ivy label. You just aren’t giving them their (undeserved) boost. Because you know what – they don’t deserve that boost. If the parental support hasn’t motivated them up to this point, then I don’t see what giving them the Ivy label is going to do to motivate them. Except take the spot from someone who might actually embrace and use the spot for what its worth.

            It’s okay to let your kids fail (if you think not going to an Ivy is some sort of failure. I don’t). It’s even a pretty good idea to let them fail early. A non-Ivy education is not a death knell. Geez.

          • Anon

            I assure you any benefit of the Princeton name is drawfed by the benefit these kids have from being these people’s kids.

          • Anonymous

            Yes but the benefit of being these peoples kids + Princeton – that’s unmatched.

      • Equestrian attorney

        I mean lots of people have kids who go to less prestigious schools than they did. It’s not that big a deal. I agree this is a terrible lesson to teach and hope I will never understand this, even if I had that kind of money.

    • Anon

      I haven’t been a parent for that long, but I’ve learned that you have to love and accept your kids just the way they are, even if they don’t live up to the traits you expected them to have pre-birth. Just because you were brilliant (or athletic, or artistic, or insert any other adjective) doesn’t mean your kids will be too. So, no, I wouldn’t have any issue with my child going to Rutgers even though I went to an Ivy, if she worked hard and Rutgers was the best she could do. I would have an issue with her goofing off and not taking school seriously, but I don’t believe buying her admission to an Ivy League school is the solution to that problem.

      • Rainbow Hair

        I remember when I told my husband, “maybe we don’t have to push Kiddo to go to an Ivy or like a really good college” and he looked at me like I had two heads… because he had never considered doing that. But I grew up steeped in that stuff, so that was the baseline assumption for me. But I’m glad I have paused to question it (and I try to root out the other assumptions I’ve been swimming in). At this stage Kiddo actually seems inclined to be a book-nerd and declares that she wants to be a lawyer, and if it stays that way we’ll certainly do everything we can do help her down that path… but maybe she will be an electrician or a plumber (fingers crossed!) or a mason like her dad.

      • Anon

        +1 my kids are their own people, not mini mes

        They will find their own paths. We are incredibly fortunate to have a decent amount of wealth/privilege and can give our kids a safety net but I want them to do what’s best for them.

        I care a lot more about raising people who are kind and good than having kids who have resumes I can brag about to my friends

        • Anonymous

          “I care a lot more about raising people who are kind and good than having kids who have resumes I can brag about to my friends”
          This x 1 million. Also, what I want for my child is that he is happy, productive and self-supporting. Doing what HE wants to do. HIS brand of happiness, which might not be my brand. There are lots of ways to make a living in this world and very few of them require an Ivy League degree.

      • anon

        I really need to call my parents today and thank them for raising me with this mindset. I’m the oldest of four kids, and we all took very different paths academically. All of us are successful and thriving in our chosen fields. (And hey, no Ivy League tuition required!) It would’ve been easy for my dad, especially, to push my brother down his career path. But he was remarkably honest about the great and not-so-great parts and made it clear that there was no expectation that he’d follow in his footsteps — but he’d support him if they did. Dad is now retiring and brother is taking over his business, but it has been HIS CHOICE all along. The only thing my dad was adamant about was that a) my brother went to college; and b) he needed to have work experience of his own, outside the family, first.

        Now that I’m a parent myself, I see how different my kids are and how their talents, gifts and struggles are uniquely their own. Yes, I try my best to guide them and support them — but I would never want to deny them the joy of discovering what’s right for them. Not me. Them.

    • Anon

      Imagine how long this and other cheating has been going on and how most of them don’t get caught. Really disheartening for those of us trying to do it the right way.

      • Anonymous

        There’s much, much more of this going on than we’ll ever know of, I’m sure. There’s been “pay for play” scandals at schools since the dawn of time. My sister just mentioned last night that the woman that now owns the company she works for was in serious danger of flunking out of school before her dad made a very generous donation. Daddy came up with some bucks and all of a sudden, Little Darling’s lousy grades weren’t an issue anymore. And that wasn’t Ivy League or Georgetown or USC. These kind of shenanigans are everywhere.

    • Anonymous

      I’m familiar with one of the finance types that was caught up in the scandal, and insecurity (believe it or not) is an enormous part of their personality. I run in those circles and a lot of the guys in particular seem to be running from something. Having their kids not measure up would be devastating to them.

    • Anon

      I’m an HYP alum and I’m in a Facebook group for young moms of my school and the comments the last few days have been HILARIOUS. People are legit PANICKING that our school is going to do away with legacy admissions as a result of this scandal. First of all, I think there’s no chance of that. And second, if they did, so what? Most of our kids are smart enough to get into good schools and if they’re not, they will still be completely fine, especially with HYP alums as parents. I had parents that were really focused on school and pushed me hard to get good grades, but they also recognized college admissions is somewhat arbitrary and involves a lot of luck, and reassured me that I’d be fine no matter where I went if I worked hard and did well in college. My husband and I live in a state with a good state school (not Michigan, but fairly close) and I’d be completely fine with our kids going there. I know that if they work hard and do well there, they’ll be very successful. But in case you were wondering how HYP alums are reacting to this scandal, it’s straight up panic lol. There are people saying “We’ve been giving hundreds of thousands of dollars to [school] annually and now it’s all for nothing.” Uhhh….this is why everyone hates us!!!

      • Anon

        Also there are (multiple!) people saying “let’s be real, we would all do it if we could afford to.” No, no we would not.

        • Anonymous

          Yeah we would. No I wouldn’t take it to wire fraud but buying a building? Yeah I would.

          • Anon

            I would not. I went to HYP and I don’t have billions of dollars, but even if I didn’t and parting with $2M was nothing to me, I would not buy a building to get my kid into the school. Your values are not universal and lots of elite college graduates don’t share them.

          • Anon

            I don’t know, I feel like buying a building makes people think your kid is a d-bag. Their peers would know that they’re only there because you bought their way in. I’d rather they go somewhere they can be truly accepted.

          • Anon

            “We” would not. You, with questionable morals, would. Don’t try to argue that your lack of ethics is universal. It isn’t.

          • Lana Del Raygun

            If I had enough money to buy a building I would endow a rural hospital with a high-level NICU. :)

          • Anon

            I certainly would not. Sure I will absolutely help my kids with tutors and such but no, if at the end of the day, they can’t get into a school despite all the advantages we plan to give them because they didn’t work hard enough to take advantage or just don’t have the raw brainpower or whatever , no, I would not buy them admission

          • anon

            I would not. You can’t buy your kid self-reliance, integrity, morals, or a good work ethic.

          • Lady Anonymous

            Dear Lord, Anon at 1:11 I hope you’re not an attorney.

            I get that everyone wants what’s best for their kids. Buying their way into a school they can’t get into on their own merit just for parental bragging rights does not fall into that category.

          • Anonymous

            Why can’t 1:11 be an attorney? Nothing illegal about buying a building to cement your family’s legacy at a certain school.

          • pugsnbourbon

            I read an article on NYT today (Inside the Pricey, Totally Legal World of Consultants). And I quote:

            “Steven Mercer, a private college consultant based in Santa Monica, Calif., called $10 million ‘an entry-level gift that might not even get the attention of the admission office.'”

            Of course this dude could be full of it but it’s pretty clear that the system is rigged and always has been.

          • Anon

            For what it’s worth, I am a legacy admit to my alma mater – shiny building and all.

            It is a very good school, albeit not HYP. The ironic thing is that I would have gunned for a “better” school, except there was rather intense family pressure to attend the legacy school. I am not remotely complaining – it’s a great school, I loved every moment of being there, and it had the degree I wanted in the setting I wanted – but I do get a bit irked when everyone assumes that if you go to a university as a legacy, it’s because you’re a lazy, entitled drooling idiot.

            My family member was so, so happy that I went, because I was the only one to do so. When the admissions office reviewed my application, they basically asked my relative to try to convince me to attend even if I got into Stanford.

          • Anon

            Of course they would beg you to go though, they need a new generation of alums from your family to keep giving them shiny building cash.

          • Anon

            Anon at 4:43, that was rude as f-ck, and also laughably wrong.

            The actual issue was that my grades and SATs made me the type of student who was usually admitted, and often went somewhere better. The university was in transition from a school well-known in the area to one that is well-known nationally, and getting kids like me in the door was part of that strategic advantage.

            Sorry that you’re a bag of hate, but that’s not my problem.

        • S

          Whatever academic advantage your kid would get by doing this would be so massively canceled out by the way this tactic would cripple their personality… no way.

        • Anon

          I’m the person who mentioned the Facebook group and, just to be clear the people who said “let’s be real, we would all do it” were talking about the cheating/criminal activity, not just alumni donations. I would also not donate a building to my alma mater, even if I could afford it, which I cannot. But there were people on the FB group condoning or justifying the criminal activity.

          • Horrifying

            This is sick. Where is their moral compass? I don’t know how you can live with yourself after having cheated to get a child in college. I just keep thinking of all of the “normal” families and kids who are busting their butts off to get into these schools and getting bypassed by one of these sleazebags.

            And I agree with you, this is why people hate HYP! I went there as well.

    • Anon

      I certainly understand getting assistance for your kids. Hiring tutors, even hiring someone to assist them with writing their essays (which is an ethical violation btw). The college admissions process is so different from all the other academic stuff that anyone ever does, that it is very difficult to navigate.

      However, the lengths these people went is nuts. The photoshop, the big lies, etc etc, just nuts.

      • Anon

        Yeah I’m not getting the shade for Rutgers. I know a west coast kid who’s going there next year and it’s her dream school.

        I get the feeling many of the posters on this board are just a couple of zeros at the end of their net worth from being totally on board with admissions fraud.

        • Anon

          +1 Rutgers is a great school and since moving to the North East I’ve met a ton of successful, smart, talented people who went there.

          The snobbery on here is pretty gross. FWIW i didn’t go to HPY but I went to what several posters have dubbed as “prestigious” undergrad and law schools. I feel like there’s a direct correlation between thinking your “prestigious” school is omgsuchabigdeal and being a few zeros away from being down with fraud.

        • Anonymous

          Agreed. I’m an East Coast BigLaw litigator with a Big Ten, state school degree. I’m doing just fine without the Ivy credentials, and I’d be humiliated if my parents had glossed over my less than stellar resume to give me a boost.

        • Anonymous

          Rutgers as a DREAM school? It’s where you go if you can’t get in any place else or you’re in state and your parents can’t or won’t pay for anyplace else. Maybe it’s a dream if your family has zero college grads and you consider any 4 year school a dream?

          • Anon

            I agree with Anon at 3:11pm. You need to watch your language and/or change your standard of “asshole.”

          • Anon

            Wow this is really rude and snobby. Also really out of touch. There are lots of people who get rejected from Rutgers. People that don’t have 4.0s, perfect SAT scores and a bunch of AP classes also have dream schools. Also pretty ridiculous to lump Rutgers in as “any four year college”.

          • Anon

            You know what I object to? Looking down on people trying to make something of themselves, whatever their situations are.

          • Anonymous

            Rutgers is a bit too “diverse” with way too many first to go to college in their families kinds of kids. Nor does it open the Wall Street or biglaw doors a few miles away. So yeah – pass.

          • Anon

            Anon at 3:58 I assume you’re a troll based on the implied racism in your post but just pointing out that you’re wrong. Signed biglaw attorney with colleagues and clients in finance who went to Rutgers

          • Anon

            I, for one, am thankful that I went to my SEC state school with lots of students that were the first in their family to go to college. These students were generally all smart, and normally more motivated, than those whose parents had gone to college because they did not take for granted the opportunity they had gotten by going to college. Knowing these people also made me appreciate and value what I have and what I grew up with and I think has made me a better person.

          • Anonymous

            Anonymous at 3:58, I feel sorry for your kids. They are being raised by a racist. If you think private school is expensive, wait until you have to pay for multiple rounds of rehab for your kids. Good luck living the rest of your life.

          • SEC +1

            Thanks, anon 4:21 PM! I enjoyed going to school with you too and appreciate that you appreciated my contributions as a first-generation student who went to the SEC school on a full ride for law school and does big law like everyone else here, except in the SEUS, so I get the lifestyle too.

        • Lana Del Raygun

          I’ve been told that everyone outside New Jersey acknowledges Rutgers as a good school but within NJ it’s looked down upon … maybe there are are lot of NJ people here, or there’s a similar effect in NY?

      • Ha

        Rutgers is a fine school and has many smart, talented grads. But here’s the thing: if you have been paying $30K annually since kindergarten for your child/children to attend the best prep school in your city, with the expectation that doing so will help them get into an Ivy, you are going to be mad if your ROI is Rutgers. For all that money, parents are expecting a Harvard diploma at the end of it — not Rutgers.

        • Anon

          I mean sure people may be upset but they’re also dumb or bad at math. The total number of enrollment slots at Ivy League schools is A LOT less than the total number of people attending expensive private schools. And not everyone that goes to an Ivy went to private school.

          If you think paying private school tuition will get your kid into an Ivy, I’ve got a bridge to sell you

        • Anonymous

          If anyone is spending $30k on schools and looking at the situation as “I need an ROI on this investment in my child; the minimum is an Ivy League admission” – I feel sorry for your children and one day, I will feel very sorry for you when your children stick you in a nursing home and never visit because they were never anything to you but an “investment.” P.S., don’t be surprised if your children end up on drugs.

    • Lana Del Raygun

      I wonder how many of these parents’ parents got them in the same way, and they know it.

    • anon

      I am so glad to live in a place where this crap just.does.not.matter. The race to the Ivy Leagues sounds exhausting and futile.

      And, I completely agree that you have to work with your kids’ strengths. Getting your kid into a prestigious school that they’re not equipped to handle, academically or emotionally, is a parenting fail, IMO.

      • Anon

        Agree. The only people who care about these schools are the ones who went to them.

      • Anonymous

        Yep. I live in the Southwest. This story is a source of great amusement to my coworkers and I, who feel like if our kids get into University of Arizona or University of Colorado they’ll be doing great. There are also a ton of very successful businesspeople in our community who never went to college, or went to community college, or went to school online much later in their careers. Someone on the board said this but one of my coworkers said it too – an Ivy League-educated kid is just another status symbol for these people; it’s just something else they can buy and then flaunt in front of other shallow people who have no values. Like a LV bag or a Mercedes or a fancy house or vacation property in Hawaii. I’m glad to live in a place where it’s easy to separate ourselves from people like that.

    • AnonMom

      Most of the comments assume that Princeton and other schools like it should be merit/achievement awards / signifiers of intelligence and hard work, but can we time-test that assumption? George W. Bush went to Yale on bad grades and that was NORMAL back then. These schools have always been networks and clubs that only recently stopped excluding anyone not a white male from a certain social class. They’ve only recently, and to an extent we can debate, become the merit/achievement awards we’re assuming they are.

      • Anon

        Yes and no. Legacies have always been standard, and discrimination against non-whites (and further back, women and Jews) has always been standard, but these institutions have always been difficult to get into and “normal” kids always had to be very academically accomplished to get in. It was definitely true when my mom applied in the 1970s that it took really excellent grades and test scores for normal, non-legacy kids to be admitted to a place like Yale, and the bulk of the students were admitted on merit.

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