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I like the low, sturdy look of these heels from Tory Burch. They have a no-nonsense, efficient look in the best way possible. I also like that there are a variety of brownish beige tones that could be nude-for-you — but meanwhile, the ivory/white options almost have a mod look to them.
They're getting great reviews and are $348-$398 at Nordstrom, Zappos, and Tory Burch.
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Anonymous
Does anyone have health insurance not through job or ACA marketplace? Like from an association or something? Haven’t looked in a while.
Runcible Spoon
ABA offers group medical insurance. Similar affinity groups probably offer the same.
Anon
My state bar association offers health insurance, as does our state bankers’ association.
Anon
You look fab shared a link to this Armani fashion show and I am mesmerized
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h2BauHWBxlk&t=34s&ab_channel=Armani
Anonymous
Thank you for sharing!
Anon
There are some amazing looks in there. Makes me want to try pairing some of my tan/camel and gray basics. Thank you for sharing.
Anonymous
The opening is the color palette of my bedroom, down to the gold accessories. Perhaps I will start dressing in that scheme so my closet matches.
Senior Attorney
Oof! So great!! Mes. Mer. Ized.
Anon
When the blues came in, I gasped.
Sometimes we just need to look at something beautiful.
Sri
What are some older, iconic posts/threads from Corporette history? I take intermittent breaks from the blog for months or years, and there were some great “canon” threads. Saw this on Reddit and thought it could be fun.
anon
Has anyone seen more affordable short cowboy boots with the Miron Crosby look? I’m flexible on colors but just can’t stomach paying $1,200!
anon
Liberty Black, Cavendars in-house brand, or Old Gringo. All have short boots.
Anne-on
Just out of curiosity – when would you wear these? I think they’re awesome but they so do not fit my suburban mom lifestyle. Please tell me you’re a up and coming rodeo star or a Nashville musician or something else similarly awesome!
anon
In Texas. Jeans Fridays, out during the winter, the month of rodeo.
anon
Lol, because I am the OP and this is exactly where I would wear them. Cowboy boots in Texas are a real thing.
Anon
“The month of rodeo” being a season somewhere made me LOL
(I am from a rural area with an annual rodeo so I get it)
LizzieBennet
I do not live in Texas and think these are so fun! I would also wear them with jeans in my everyday life.
Anonymous
Thursday boots has some cute western boot styles.
Anonymous
I love Tecovas. Super comfy right out of the box.
Gail the Goldfish
Ariat makes some shorter boots and booties in fun colors. I’ve only worn their English boots, but those are super comfy, so I assume it translates to their Western stuff as well.
Anon
https://www.bootbarn.com/macie-bean-womens-petal-to-the-gunmetal-fashion-western-booties—snip-toe-/2000376019.html?colorCode=085&gad_source=1&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIiv243c6UggMV8wh9Ch02OghwEAQYASABEgJc1fD_BwE
Anon
Ranch Road Boots Cute short boots. I find most cowboy boots run large and these fit like regular shoes.
Anonymous
If you grew up in the 80s or 90s, do you feel like you parent your kids differently than how you were parented, if yes – in what ways? I don’t mean huge differences like raising them in a different religion, though feel free to talk about that too. But I mean more day to day – how involved are you in their lives once they’re school age, in their socialization, do you take note of their strengths and weaknesses and help them develop the areas they’re lacking but will need in life.
I know 80s and 90s parents like to say – oh please we let kids figure stuff out – and I understand the value in that. Though I do wonder if some current adults went through a harder time figuring things out, landing in therapy etc. than if mom or dad had just intervened when they were say 8 or 12.
Was hanging out with a friend recently and she was talking about how she noticed how her son who was 8 at the time when he was playing baseball would literally sit in the dugout, not talk to anyone, and just go bat or into the field when told. She over the time got out of him that he found it overwhelming being with a dozen plus kids he didn’t know well, so when time to pick activities rolled around next time she gave him additional options where it would be an instructor with say 4 kids like tennis and he’s thrived and made new friends. All I could think was – wow I don’t feel like my parents or even my friends parents would have even noticed three decades ago if we were going to an activity and not really engaging. Or if they did they’d sort of yell about it – you wanted to play baseball, I put you in baseball, make it work.
Anonymous
I am a child of the 80s and have elementary aged kids now and in many ways it’s the same, and in many ways, it’s different. I think I make more plans for my kids then my mom did for me, but in many ways, that’s a technology created issue. My kid’s friends don’t have phones, nor does my kid. It has to be parent to parent communication to set up playdates. My oldest is 10 and when I was 10, I definitely called my friends directly on their home phones. I totally miss home phones for this reason.
Anon
Yes!! My mom made me start setting up my own play dates (via landline) around age 5 or 6. There’s no way for my kids to do this, since no one has landlines and they’re too young for cell phones. I hate it!
Anon
Related: when I was kindergarten age, my parents used to give me a dollar bill/5 dollar bill and watch me go to the counter, order what I wanted, hand over money, get change, bring my item and the change back to the table. I learned how money works and how to use my big girl voice (and it was safe because I was in their eyesight the entire time).
For those of you with small kids, what is the 2023 version of this? If no one uses cash and everyone pays with a phone, how does that work with kids who are too young to own/use a phone but plenty old enough to learn independence in age-appropriate ways?
Anon
I give my daughter my credit card to buy stuff! For learning how money works, we have an allowance that we started quite young (age 4), although we’re a cashless household so we just have a mental ledger of how much she has and remind her of the amount when we go anywhere where she might want to buy something.
Anne-on
I explained to my son that you used to have to call someone’s house phone, ask for them, and then have polite small talk with their parent (Hi Bobby, jimmy’s upstairs, hold on I’ll call for him. How’s school going? Do you like your teacher? Etc.). He looked equal parts confused and horrified!
Anon
I don’t know, my parents had A LOT of flaws, and they would have noticed something like that.
AIMS
I think my kids watch a lot more TV than I ever did and I probably had more freedom to go out on my own than they will (I was allowed to be fairly independent 8-10 and go out on my own, which doesn’t seem to be the norm in my kids’ circles) but I am actually pretty happy with how I was raised (for the most part) so I don’t know that I do that much more that’s different.
Cb
I’m on holiday with a pal who laughs because we are so strict with tv in comparison with our 80s childhood.
My parents were wonderful and I’m super close with them but I don’t spank (it’s actually illegal where I live) and I rarely yell.
However, I’m so much stricter than the parents around me? All I need as an “absolutely not…” and my kid will fall in line much of the time. But I’m a super kind, loving, often playful mum, I just accept no nonsense (and admittedly have a naturally easy going and complaint kid).
My in laws had a go at my husband after my son was screwing around at the table and after 2 warnings, I made him come and eat with me at the breakfast bar. I didn’t yell, didn’t touch him, just said “this clearly isn’t working, come eat with me in the kitchen” and we happily ate together and joined them for dessert.
Anon
Interesting question! A lot of the big differences are things I didn’t choose. I can’t let my 6 year old bike to friends’ houses or walk the dog alone the way I did at that age, because someone would call CPS on me. All her friends have multiple activities per week so she has limited opportunities for the kind of unstructured time with friends that I had so much of as a child.
Some differences from my parents that we did specifically choose:
– we put our kid in full-time daycare from a young age, which I think has been really good for her and helped with social skills and making friends
-we encouraged her to try organized activities at a younger age – we’re cautious not to overschedule but she seems to really enjoy a lot of the stuff she does
-we are more tough love – we push her more to try new things and things that scare her than my parents did, and while we sympathize with disappointments and pain, we try not to let her spiral over things that are truly trivial
– we don’t fall all over ourselves with praise for every thing – if my kid draws some crappy picture we’re not going to be like “omg that’s the best picture ever!!!” the way my parents did
-we are way more restrained with physical gifts at holidays and birthdays than my parents were (to be fair, this is made easier by the fact that the grandparents are so generous)
My parents were “gentle parents” before gentle parenting was cool though, so very much NOT the stereotypical 1980s/1990s parents. I actually think they were too gentle and coddled me too much, and I see a lot of that in today’s gentle parenting movement.
Anon
I think there is a bit too much gentleness in today’s movement as well. Thinking of things like saying “it’s ok, you don’t have to go if you don’t want to” to your kid who has already RSVPed yes to someone’s birthday party – like giving in to the child’s temporary feelings of anxiety instead of encouraging pushing past it and honoring a commitment.
Anon
Ugh, yes, I hate this.
Anon
I am a parent, and I am legit worried about the lack of “push through it” that some people are fostering in their kids. It’s not going to work out for the kids on a personal level, and I have some grave fears about what it will do to society, over the long run. I think – and I think many on this board would agree, given how hard we had to work to get where we are – that a big part of being successful is showing up, even when you don’t feel like it. I’ve gotten some great opportunities just because I was the person who consistently showed up – even if I couldn’t give 100% – and followed through on my commitments. I figured out awhile back, you don’t necessarily need to be a rock star and kill it on every single task. But you do need to do what you say you’re going to do, and show up where you’re needed. Even if that’s not where you’d prefer to be that day.
I understand toxic positivity, the need for self-care, etc. But our society needs people to show up. Airline pilots (and air traffic controllers), doctors (and people who manufacture medications), bus drivers and train engineers, etc. – we need these people to show up, and we need them to do a good job when they’re working. Not a perfect job, but a good job. I see it in some of my kid’s peers – if they’re not feeling it, they’re not doing it. And I just wonder, if everyone can just tap out of doing hard things when they’re not feeling it – where does that lead us, as a society? How will critical work get done? How will we care for people who need to be cared for?
We’re losing a sense of “do this because it’s part of our duty as citizens of the world and we all have to work cooperatively for society to run smoothly.” I fear it’s becoming “I’m going to do what works for me, when it works for me, and that’s it.” And sorry, but we cannot have a country of 330 million (or a world of 8 billion) rabid individualists who are only in it for themselves.
Anon
+1000.
Anon
Amen.
Anon
I don’t disagree, but I do feel that society needs to make it worth it (and at times it honestly wasn’t and I should have worked less hard!). I pushed through everything in a way that I think was ultimately detrimental to me. I also think we’re seeing the effects of burn out, understaffing, and the costs of housing and education in essential roles already (especially care work and medicine). It cannot be helping how many people don’t feel right and make more mistakes since the pandemic (especially any students who barely seem to recover before getting sick with something again). Maybe it is time for shorter work weeks and better incentives?
Anon
Re: crappy pictures, have you seen this? https://www.instagram.com/reel/CxQbdXeMZla/?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==
The French one doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me (I guess I don’t know enough French people) but the American vs Korean mom is hilarious. I’m white American but definitely closer to the Korean mom, down to blaming my husband for the kids’ lack of art ability.
Anonymous
Snort. I’m European and when I looked at this I felt quite at home with the French parody, just a normal person to me. The American and Korean moms were quite alien, I don’t see people behave that way at all.
Anon
The Korean one is exaggerated, but I have white American friends who say that script basically verbatim.
Anonymous
i like these! i’ve seen a german/canadian version also where someone is telling their mom about their new boyfriend and it’s hilarious!!
OOO
My dad made me play soccer for years, and I absolutely hated it. I would have loved to pick my own activities, or not choose any and stay home and read. I had very little say in anything. My son is a toddler right now but as he gets older I plan to let him make as many of his own choices as possible.
Anne-on
Oh, 100% there is a HUGE difference. I know (and care) about my kids social and academic life so much more than my parents did. My mom to this day cannot correctly pronounce my childhood best friend’s name (think Callie and she says Candy). My child is also neurodivergent and has had OT/PT/therapy for the various issues that come with his diagnosis. Spoiler alert, I am also neurodivergent and had zero therapy or help for my neurodivergence beyond being yelled at to stop daydreaming and do better. I swear a large chunk of our dinner table conversations are ‘here’s this messed up thing our parents did in the 70s/80s that would not fly today’ to our son’s great amusement.
I also think a big difference is that we’re explicitly teaching life and social skills to our child (how to cook, how to make a budget, how to clean, how to introduce yourself to people, executive functioning skills around studying/school). My ‘learning’ began and ended with ‘stop asking me and figure it out, you’re smart!’ or being yelled at for not knowing implicitly how to do something right on the first try. We also encourage questions, which was definitely not a big thing schools/parents did back in the 80s until I got into AP/honors classes.
Anonymous
So my parents, in the early 80s, pulled me out of a group sport for the same reason, I just found it too overwheming. They had a huge amount of flaws and they still noticed my struggle and did something about it.
Anon
There is definitely 1000x more focus on “neurodiversity” (a term that did not exist in the 1990s). I think it comes with many significant pros and some cons that are beyond the scope of this post.
When it comes to my own parents, I think my father’s style of forcing me to do activities I didn’t want to do wouldn’t fly today. Some of it went too far, but I’m glad he taught me a million things to do outside (rock climbing, mountain biking, skiing, and more) because it’s so much easier to learn as a kid and now I love these activities as a adult. I’m glad he didn’t let me sit on the couch as much as I wanted.
Cb
Yep, my husband was diagnosed with autism in his 30s. My in laws just thought he was a weird kid but then told him in his 30s that they had always thought that…
I’m not sure a diagnosis was massively helpful for him as it wasn’t delivered alongside any support but my housemate just got an adhd impulsivity diagnosis and it’s really helped her self worth to know that this was her brain working differently than a moral failing.
Anon
Unpopular opinion, but I think there’s too much awareness of differences, and resulting therapy today. I know almost zero kids today who haven’t had some kind of OT, PT, speech therapy or therapy-therapy. Obviously there are kids who truly need these services, but I think a lot of it comes from parents who can’t accept their kids being below average in anything. In the 1980s I was just unathletic and uncoordinated; today I’d be diagnosed with gross motor delays and shuffled off to OT.
Anon
I think it’s overprescribed as well, but not really due to parents wanting their kids to achieve – more like being afraid that if you miss the “early intervention” window, your kids will suffer, so what’s the harm in “trying” these therapies? Obviously it’s truly important for many kids, but there’s simply no way that almost all kids in a single class need specialized therapies. There is also some over-pathologizing of ranges of normal behavior, especially for things like energy levels and ability to sit still.
Anon
If I’d gotten OT as a child it might have saved me a ton of pain and money later on. Speech therapy too since apparently that’s where they work on breathing issues. Might have gotten some diagnoses sooner too. So I worry my generation just suffered more.
Anon
OTOH, early intervention for crawling for my son was great. He went from really delayed (not crawling at almost a year) to crawling like a champ and almost walking in three sessions. I think it also helped him understand that he can do these things even if he can’t do them immediately.
Like you, I am not a believer in using any type of therapy as a lifestyle.
Anonymous
I also think a lot of the interventions are worlds ways of forcing square pegs into round holes. My dad has undiagnosed ADD, or at least he’s pretty sure he does. He found a career in sales where his inability to sit still was an asset. He was successful. Now I think he’d just be medicated into a desk job and I’m not sure that’s a better result.
anon
That is not how ADHD meds work.
Anon
Do you know many people with ADHD? This isn’t how ADHD meds work for some most people, but it absolutely is how they work for others.
anon
I am much more emotionally attuned to my kids than my parents EVER were. Looking back, I was a really anxious kid and it came out in weird ways. And in college, I was a mess of anxiety. Didn’t get any kind of therapy or treatment until I was walloped with PPD/PPA at 29.
I affirm and recognize my kids’ emotions. Not in a fake Dr. Becky way, but they need to know that having feelings is normal and OK. I was not given those lessons and sometimes I still have a hard time identifying my feelings. I just know that I don’t feel good.
One of my kids has ADHD. In the 80s/90s, he would’ve been berated by parents, teachers, and everyone. It would’ve been labeled a behavioral issue. It’s not, it’s just that behavior is how it “shows up.”
Emma
I wonder about this a lot (my baby is still really little so it’s hard for me to tell what kind of parent I’ll be, but I do think about what kind of parent I want to be). I’m actually raising my child on a different continent and in a different religion, so there’s that. I think she’ll have less freedom than I did. My parents did great and I love them, but I hope I’ll do better at talking about food and weight so as to not pass on my lifetime of issues with that. I hope I teach her that it’s ok to fail so she doesn’t get my intense performance anxiety. But I also hope to teach her a lot of things my parents taught me, including how to be a good person, how to excel, and passing on important parts of my culture even if she is growing up in another. I think my parents tried to do better than their parents, who in turn tried to do better than their own, and it’s just the cycle of life and I’ll do my best and probably mess up a few things along the way.
Anonymous
+100 to your last sentence.
Anonymous
I watched a lot of TV as a kid so my kids’ screentime isn’t anything new, although YouTube somehow feels more mindnumbing than the after school repeats of Charles in Charge and Night Court.
I am a lot more restrictive of my kids than when my parents raised me – I remember walking to a friends’ house by myself when I was around 5, and my brother basically just had to be home by sundown. but my kids never made neighborhood friends the way i did at that age. we moved into a new development that has still been largely under construction with huge cement trucks and frequent tradesmen and their vans coming and going — so i haven’t been comfortable letting my eldest out even for bike rides by himself until recently.
Anonymous
Mostly similar. I’m much more liberal with tv time and sweets than any other parents I know; my parents were liberal with that stuff and I don’t think I suffered from it. I’m also a working mom and these are just not battles I want to fight. I like a cupcake and some tv after a long day too.
My parents were great parents but there are things I absolutely don’t do. I don’t brush off questions, even about hard stuff. I try to explain everything thing from my brother’s death to our politics in ways that my kids can understand and process. Also, we don’t yell in this house. Ok, I yell when dinner is ready and they’re upstairs but there is otherwise no yelling here. Definitely no spanking. Parents and I are close now and they’re amazing grandparents but as a child there was a lot of yelling, anger and occasional spanking and slapping directed at me. Even as a teenager and as an adult my parents say and do things that just really hurt. I just never want to be that way. I often find myself sort of without a script thinking to myself “ok so here’s where my mom would yell” and then I’m kind of lost repeating things in my calm voice and feeling like an incredibly weak parent. But when the smoke clears I’m always happy I didn’t yell. My kids have no fear of me but I’m okay with that.
I also try to react predictably. As a kid I never knew how my parents would react to anything from a broken window to a bad grade and I was always scared there would be yelling and painful words or physical punishment. I hope they know that I’ll discuss things calmly even if I’m disappointed or upset, although sometimes that might mean taking some time to compose myself. In a lot of ways I’m falling short of my parents’ parenting but I’m proud of these things.
I’m also a giant mush. I specifically tell these kids how much I love them, why I think they’re special and what makes me proud every day. My parents had difficulty explicitly saying those things and I always felt their love was unconditional but their affection was contingent on my behavior or their mood so I don’t want my kids to feel that way.
NW Islander
I am a child of the 80s, but have no children of my own.
The permissiveness of parents around screens amazes me today. I know an 8 year old with a large TV mounted above his bed. By contrast I was allowed a small TV in my bedroom when I turned 16.
I had dinner at an upscale steakhouse in downtown Chicago last Saturday. An extended family was there. All the children had phones or iPads.
I notice kids make less eye contact with me during social conversations and wonder if all the screentime has something to do with it. They seem uncomfortable having a close interpersonal sensory connection.
Anon
I will white knight for the steakhouse people – my kids do not have screens in restaurants normally, but at very fancy places where they can’t utter a peep I can understand it. The parents would get judged by other diners if they didn’t have the kids in a screen trance, so it’s kind of a lose-lose situation for them. (Other than not going at all, but there may have been a good reason they had to go, like an important family event).
Anon
Yeah, as a fellow patron at the nice restaurant, rock on with your ipads, kids. Just use headphones or earbuds and we’re good.
Anon
Why are you at these restaurants with your children? How are they benefitting? How often is these happening? What do you think parents did before screens? Important family events is where they how to be human.,
Anonymous
This.
If a kid having a screen makes or breaks the evening then the kid needs to be at home with a sitter, even for important family events.
Anon
Unpopular opinion, but I do think things have gone too far with screens. It’s one thing to have your child in front of the TV while the parents are making dinner, but another entirely to have iPads/iPhones in hand 100% of the time in restaurants or while in a stroller. It’s REALLY common to see very young kids watching the iPhone while in the stroller where I live, even though there is tons of stuff to see in the world around them.
AIMS
I agree with you on the strollers but the restaurant with extended family gets a pass in my book. Not the same. We don’t even have a TV in our bedroom, much less the kids’ room, and as much as I complain about their TV watching they never do screens in the car or just because, but a fancy dinner with extended family often means someone picked the restaurant and not to interact with my kids (“children should be seen, not heard”), so I make no assumptions there.
Anonymous
This. My husband and I got really deep into just handing our oldest a phone when we’d take her out for dinner starting around 3 or 4, but we decided one day when she was around 5 that it just wasn’t working. We mandated no more phones at dinner and I got in the habit of carrying a “crayon bag” in my purse. Even if they didn’t have kids menus, they had a thing to do in addition to chatting with us. It’s made a world of difference in how my kids do at restaurants, even the fancy ones.
Anon
Are you a parent?
Anon
I am a parent and I also study child brain development. Allowing our kids to have screens during family dinner all the time is literally damaging their brains. They are not learning how to have conversations or how to read facial cues. There is a time and place for using phones as a babysitter but not at the table. If you are at the restaurant so long that the child needs a phone to behave, then leave.
Anon
I read a few years ago in a credible source that FAANG parents/Silicon Valley much-mucks do not let their kids have phones or use computers/social media. That told me something.
Anon
Uh not true as a generalization. Some don’t, I’m sure, but that’s true in any community. I lived in the Bay Area for many years, and most of my closest friends currently work at FAANG companies and have school age kids. Their kids have just as much screen time as the kids in my local (small city Midwest) area, if not more. Silicon Valley types are also generally early and avid adapters of new technology. For example, all my friends there are into the smart home stuff like Alexa, which I personally avoid out of privacy paranoia. So this statement does not ring true to me at all.
Anon
I hope I don’t ignite a firestorm: spanking. Definitely more accepted in the ’80s and ’90s than it is today, definitely something I have avoided this far and God willing, will continue to avoid.
Maybe other parents did it in a less damaging way, but my father spanked because he was unable to control himself and wanted iron-fisted control over me. So that’s a no-go for doing that to my son.
Anon
Yeah, very hot take in the year 2023 to be anti-spanking.
Anon
LOL. Honestly it was pretty rare to spank in the 1990s, at least in certain upper middle class, educated circles. We had a neighbor who spanked and my parents and all their friends were horrified.
Anon
If that’s the world you live in, be thankful rather than condescending.
Anonymous
I don’t have kids, but I am pretty sure some of my parents’ parenting wouldn’t fly these days. We pretty much free-roamed the neighborhood on our bikes without adult supervision by maybe age 10? Parents told us “don’t go past these streets” but didn’t come with us. And they would just drop me off at the barn all day when I was like 12 or 13. I notice the kids at my current barn all seem to have parents that stick around, at least until they’re driving age.
anon
– One huge difference is that my parents and my family were extremely busy. I spent a lot of hours at daycare and before/after school programs and at summer camps and with babysitters and shipped off to relatives’ houses for breaks. My husband is a SAHD, and we have avoided activities that fill up the schedule, like travel sports or anything with multiple practices per week.
– My husband, son, and I live near extended family, including 4 grandparents, 3 sets of aunts and uncles, and a bunch of cousins. My parents moved pretty far from where they grew up, and we only saw their relatives a couple of times per year. (My parents did meet in high school, so when we visited extended family, we saw both sides in the same trip.)
– My husband and I talk about mental health and emotional regulation a lot more than my parents did. Part of this is that my son is neurodivergent (impulsive ADHD, sensory processing disorder, anxiety) and has had emotional regulation and behavior problems since he was 2 (he’s 8 now). He’s had OT, play therapy, and individual therapy for 5+ years. Of course, some of that includes sessions with the parents and coaching on how to handle things at home. It’s all helped, and our son is in a really good place right now, and we’re slowly cutting back on the therapy.
– Starting around 8 years old, I could ride my bike or scooter around the neighborhood and play outside with friends or even run in and out of their houses for snacks and come home when it got dark. We don’t live in a neighborhood with a lot of kids, our street is used as a cut through to the highway so isn’t particularly safe in terms of traffic, and my son is not outdoorsy and has no interest in riding his bike.
Anon
Living near family is so wonderful. That’s something we’re doing differently too (because my parents moved here) and I’m so grateful.
Anon
As a little kid, we were overprotected. After divorce, my mother worked two jobs so I ran amok as a teen between 1979 and 1984. We raised our son, born in 1999, in a two parent household and we were much more hands off than other parents. We let him play on the computer and pushed back on the school about so much homework. We lived in a safe area where he could run outside with his friends in the neighborhood. We valued his free time and he did not spend so much on games as he loved climbing trees. Only organized sports was weekend non-competitive soccer. I am shocked at the College parenting page when I see the hovering. That said, we are not absentee parents! I just made some alterations on a Halloweeen costume for my grown son and his girlfriend. Balance!
Anony
Any fellow Mainers around this afternoon? I hope you are doing okay; today is a really rough and heartbreaking. My co-workers haven’t said anything to me or awkwardly asked how close I am to Lewiston; they don’t understand that even though the state is big, it’s small and tightknit, and you know someone who knows someone. I hope they find this guy soon, it’s unnerving and too quiet around here (~20 minutes from Lewiston).
Anne-on
No, but my heart goes out to you. I will never forgot what the lockdown after the Boston Marathon bombing was like and how callous an ex-manager was when I and other team members talked about how scared/freaked out we were and she kind of scoffed and said that it wasn’t a reason to get work done on time.
Anon
The law firm I worked at in Boston left a message on the weather line “if you can come to the office safely, please do so” that morning. Never forgot how heartless that was.
Anon
I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. I too remember being in Boston for the marathon manhunt and how terrible that stress was. It makes me so sad to think of Mainers going through this now.
Anon
Sending lots of support. Hope that you and your family stay safe
Anon
Are still supposed to be home with the doors locked? Until they find him? That could be days (I’m thinking of the guy who escaped the Pennsylvania prison and was on the lamb for, what, a week?). We are all thinking of you.
Anon
*Are YOU still . . .
Anony
They extended the shelter in place order for Androscoggin and North Sagadahoc counties, which are the counties bordering mine. Every grocery store is closed, every store basically except a few random ones. It feels like covid lockdowns all over again. They are expanding the search area so I expect them to add more towns/counties to the shelter in place order. Given that they have no idea where he is, most people are freaked out enough to stay home. Deer hunting season starts on Saturday, so I hope they find him first.
And thank you all for your kind words – I appreciate them greatly!
Anon
Hello neighbor! Today is very strange and surreal. I also live in a town bordering the shelter-in-place orders. I WFH full-time and usually see lots of neighbors walking dogs throughout the day, but today the street is quiet.
Anony
That’s exactly how I feel today. My neighborhood usually hums with activity (a lot of us WFH) during the day, but always after 5 when people get home…
Anon
I lived on one of the main roads in a town adjacent to Watertown on the day of the manhunt. I feel for you. Sympathy.
Anon
Thinking of you and other Mainers! <3 I don't get to claim Maine as my home state, but my grandparents lived there when I was growing up and even now that they've passed away their home is still in the family and we spend a big chunk of each summer there. We're very much "from away" but we love the state so much, and understand how small and tightknit it is.
Also thinking of all Bates alums today – it must be jarring to see something like this happen in your beloved college town, even if you've long since moved away.
And as someone else said, the subsequent manhunt and lockdown also reminds me a lot of the Boston marathon situation, which I lived through and was horrible.
Anon
I’m so sorry for what happened in Maine. I hope they find the person quickly. Given how prone these guys are to un-aliving themselves after they commit these heinous acts, I wonder if he’s dead somewhere and they just haven’t found him yet. Praying for the victims, and frankly, for us all. Since this could have happened to any of us, anywhere, at any time.
Anon
If only they would do it before committing these heinous acts. Sorry, not sorry.
Anon
I don’t know how and why “unaliving oneself” became a thing, but I hate it.
Anon
I hate it too
Anon
It became a think because of censorship by apps like instagram and tiktok. Posts with the s word would be removed. That is why you see this phrase migrating to other internet spaces.
Anonymous
has anyone ever tried to do a Power Hour with their husband? we have a million calls to make and random things to research… i’ve asked him to do about half of them but nothing is getting done on our list.
Anonymous
“Power Hour” to me refers to taking a sh*t of beer every minute for an hour, and no, I have not tried one of those since I met my husband LOL
Anon
Same, although we did do one of these a few years ago lol
Anon
yes i did this in college with my sorority sisters to kick off our spring fling
Anon
Yes this is the only Power hour I’ve heard of!
Anon
+1. Have done two with my now husband but that was 12 years ago. Good times.
Cat
Joining the chorus, this is something I know a little too well from 20 years ago but not since…
Anonymous
What does “power hour” have mean? We sit down one night a week, whenever we feel like we need it, and go over the family to-dos and upcoming schedule.
Anonymous
i think it’s a gretchen rubin term – you sit down with a big list of to-dos and try to get done as many as you can in one hour. so in this case sitting down and making the calls during one lunch hour or something.
Anonymous
I haven’t. But I have considered asking my BF to come help me attack some things in my house/keep me company while I do some annoying personal admin tasks. I do think having a set time and some company can help get through a list of tasks.
Serafina
Ha – my definition of Power Hour is similar to the first response…
But I do “get sh** done” days with my husband sometimes! I’ll find a weekend day and make a reservation at a nice restaurant for dinner. Then we spend the day doing various life things (like calls and research, or taxes, or things like that). Then we reward ourselves with the nice dinner!
It’s nice to both be working on stuff together and makes it all more pleasant
Anon
Occassionally I get my husband and son to go to the garage with me for an hour or so for a put away, toss, or give away party. It is so much easier with all three of us.