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Coffee Break: McGraw Tote

black leather tote with tiny T logo (black on black)

How have we never featured this bag from Tory Burch before? It has a bunch of glowing reviews, all heralding the softness of the leather, the “perfect” size of the bag, the thoughtful inner pocket, and noting how lightweight the bag is.

One reviewer calls it a “butter soft dump it bag” because the bag “is so easy to dump and to access stuff I need;” another woman calls it a great travel bag because it's light for its size and “the inner zipper pocket is huge.”

The bag is normally $428, but is now marked 30% off to $299, at Nordstrom.

Sales of note for 1/1/25 (HAPPY NEW YEAR!):

86 Comments

  1. What does white elephant gift mean to you? Something absurd but useful or just absurdly terrible?

    1. To me it just means something that’s being regifted (an item that was received but proved to be a “white elephant” such that someone is trying to regift it).

    2. Depends on the theme of the gift exchange. If there’s no theme, like gag gifts, then something useful that anyone could enjoy.

    3. Context matters. I usually have two white elephant parties: one is with friends, the other is at work.

      For friends, I like to go absurd and funny. A pack of fake mustaches was really popular one year.

      For work, something small and useful or work-appropriate funny. I’ve given a pack of really nice pens; a notepad that says “Meetings that could have been an email”; fancy chocolates.

    4. What it means to me and what it means to the group I’m doing it with are often different, so I have to go by group norms. In one group I’m with each year, it means a nice actual gift, within the dollar amount. In another, it’s something weird that is being regifted.

      If I didn’t know the group and what they meant by it, I’d probably find a way to ask, or do something generic but not a gag gift or joke.

      1. I agree with this. I either take a decent gift that a lot of people in the group could use or re-gift something that’s also decent but not for me. I don’t take straight up junk.

      2. some for two white elephant exchanges I have at work. Fortunately, both organizers are very explicit in the invite, that one group’s expectation is small useful things, and the other is ridiculous funny stuff.

    5. I’ve always thought white elephant gifts were just low priced gifts with an agreed upon max

    6. I go with actually useful. I detest wasting money on junk even if it’s for a laugh… stolen ones at my office this year were mini vacuums (for desk or car), those fancy electric candle lighters, outdoor holiday lights, and a bag of fancy coffee. Giggled at but not stolen were things like a desktop putting green, “funny” mug.

    8. To be technical, I’ve heard Yankee Swap for good gifts that people actually want, and White Elephant for gag gifts.

      I think it’s regional, though.

    9. I agree it is audience specific. I’ve given alcohol in the price limit, inexpensive home items or seasonal items, or some kind of food gifts. I’ve been at white elephants where people gave bath products or candles which seem a whole lot trickier. I really haven’t seen a whole lot of joke gifts.

    10. I received the book “How To Talk To Your Cat About Gun Safety” at a white elephant gift exchange at work. It was and is hilarious. Then I got to text the work group a pic of me trying to show my cat a page in the book and my cat completely ignoring me. All good!

  2. I’m tempted to use Amazon Clinic for some lower-risk prescriptions (specifically Retin-A and Latisse). Sub $100 for visit and 90-month supply is. . .intriguing. Does anyone have experience or feedback?

    2. I tried to use them for Wellbutrin but their 2-day shipping is business days – I needed it before vacation and was annoyed 5 days wasn’t enough time.

      For latisse and retin-a I think it’d be fine. I don’t think those are coming from random third parties, probably compounding pharmacies or a specific generic for Amazon, like Kirkland.

    3. I tried to transfer an existing prescription to them as a test and they totally dropped the ball, so that’s my one and done.

    4. I’ve gotten a prescription and immediate filling for Latisse from CVS’s in-store Minute Clinic. Not sure if they can do Retin-A as well but highly recommend.

      1. This is a good idea. Your local CVS/Walgreens.
        I think I would try that before trusting Amazon for my healthcare.
        Haven’t we given Amazon enough already?

  3. What bags are you loving in 2024? I feel like I was a solid laptop tote person before COVID but I am constantly needing smaller bags and totes now that I WFH more and styles have generally changed. And maybe I’m more social but I want a different bag for dates than running errands. Thanks!

    1. I like a crossbody, but I think they’re on their way out. I think the belt bag is still big but I hate those.

      1. Baby, I had crossbody bags in 1986. I have a pic of my mom wearing one in the 1960s. They’re not a trend. They may be more popular at certain times but they’re certainly not a here and gone style.

      2. I am happy that crossbody bags are not as ubiquitous any more. I much prefer a smaller shoulder bag, baby.

        1. Why? So it can always slip off of your shoulder during the most inconvenient times?

    3. Style I’m eyeing to change it up – a tube-shaped shoulder bag.

      But crossbody is so practical for my life… no annoying slipping off the shoulder, nice capacity for essentials, etc.

      1. Right. I don’t know how the crossbody can be written off as some kind of trend. It’s a permanent purse option because of its practicality.

    4. I stopped using big bags except for work. My usual everyday bags are crossbody camera bags by Coach or Kate Spade. I switched from a tote to a backpack for work and it was life changing! No more shoulder pain and I can carry so much more stuff.

  4. Just when I thought things couldn’t get more bizarre, I’m under a Tsunami evacuation notice. Bay Area. WTF

    I’m at 300 feet above sea level and they advise staying here should be ok now. But my cell phone is loudly warning me that I need to leave NOW.

    1. Maybe pack a go bag or go visit a friend? Do the quarter-in-freezer trick? Fill a tub? Not sure what happens in tsunamis.

      1. Thanks! They just cancelled the warning, thankfully. My son goes to college in a coastal town in the evacuation area so I texted him and he was waiting for the bus basically right on the beach. *headdesk* Fortunately, his campus is a bit uphill so he’s good now, and yeah, they cancelled the warning.

  5. I have not job searched in a long time so I need some help with basic etiquette.

    I received a call yesterday to schedule an interview, but I missed it. I called back about an hour later and left a message, saying I was available that afternoon or that I would call back in the morning. I called at 11am today and left another message, saying I was available any time today. If I don’t hear back by the end of the day, do I call again tomorrow? My other recent interviews were scheduled by email….

    1. i wouldn’t…. give them a day or so, things happen. Also in my experience places that are disorganized and scattered with interviews are disorganized and scattered. if you don’t hear they are showing you who they are, believe them…

    3. I would call again in hopes of getting a live person but wouldn’t leave another voice mail.

    4. I would double check your spam filter too! I haven’t seen an interview scheduled by phone call in the last 15 years

  6. Maybe a fun thread – what new hobbies have you picked up this year that you’ve been aware of for years but it just never clicked until this year?

    This year I really got into Sudoku and cut flower gardening. (And winter sowing but that one was totally new to me!)

    1. NYT crosswords! I got an ipad (for other reasons) and have been enjoying doing them in the app. I used to think they are impossible but I’ve gotten way way better after doing them pretty consistently for a few months.

    2. American Mahjongg! I saw it all over social media for a while and finally took lessons to learn. Now I love joining free play meetups and playing on an app. I wish more of my friends played so I had a reason to buy a pretty (but $$) set.

    3. How did you get into winter sowing? I was gifted native seeds that require winter sowing, we just got our first hard frost, and I haven’t looked into how to start. I read some vague articles about winter sowing in milk jugs or broadcasting, but I need more direction.

      1. If you’re on FB, join a group — there are many with tons of advice and you can search within the group for specific plants. Empress of Dirt had a good overview, I think. For some reason one of the FB groups kept appearing in my feed last year and so I joined.

        Basically yes — you get milk jugs, clean them, slice them 95% of the way around the middle (I like to leave it attached at the handle), and then poke a LOT of holes in the bottom. Or drill. Or hot glue gun. Then fill with at least 4 inches of dirt and your seeds. Then tape the jug up with packing tape and set outside (no top) — as long as there is condensation inside the jug you’re fine. When they’re growing out the top of the jug, that’s when you should transplant into the ground.

        You may want to look up the native seeds on Prairie Moon to see how long they need to be stratified — if they’re super long (120 days) you may want to start right after the winter solstice. Otherwise you can wait until early/mid January, maybe even early Feb for perennials. You can do anything with this method (zinnias, veggies, whatever) but timing is later for summer veg/flowers (mid-March, early April).

        You can also do WS in other containers, as well as “no transplant winter sowing” where you sow the seeds in place and then put an anchored plastic thing on top of them (with holes) for the greenhouse effect. Could be as small as a plastic McDonald’s cup with holes, could be a butchered milk jug, etc.

        1. Ooh, thank you for the detailed explanation! I have several kids, so saving up enough milk jugs should be no problem, hah!

    4. Walking. I know that seems weird because lots of us walk everywhere, but now I walk 3 ish miles a day on purpose, not just my incidental step count. It has been so good for my mental health. Like, I know it’s good for my physical health, but the real gains have been mental.

    5. Duolingo – learning Japanese.
      Pottery – I purchased some kits and now I just make stuff with my hands.
      Painting – I took an art class and liked it and now I’m painting.
      I realized I like the sensory aspects of clay and bringing paint onto paper.

      1. I started Tai Chi and yoga. So amazing for my strength, balance, and mental health.

    7. Rag rug making. I couldn’t figure out what to do with all the clothes that we wore out, and so I started making rugs and baskets with them!

  7. does it matter what kind of sweatband i wear to try and stretch out a blowout? like a headband for workouts? are more expensive or name brand ones better? terry cloth or cotton? i’m overwhelmed with choices.

    1. do you mean during workouts? i have a Sweaty Bands one that I like, and I feel like the thinner strap would mean your hair is less squished than a thicker strap. I usually prefer to clip my hair up during workouts though, even with a blowout — just avoid drugstore elastics and you’re fine.

    2. I like thick GymWrap headbands when I straighten my hair. The key is to immediately blow dry it when you remove the band.

  8. For those who are a fan of the Sweat app workouts, I would like to highly recommend the PWR express – they are 20 minutes and I get a GOOD workout in my bedroom. It is really helping with my motivation when I can tell myself it’s literally only 20 minutes and I am done. Sometimes I add on, but honestly, they’re already kind of hard if I pick heavy enough weights.

    And if you don’t already have Sweat and are looking for a good workout app that has programs which don’t require a ton of equipment, also highly recommend. I pay annually, and every year when the renewal comes up, I repurchase because it’s less than the cost of one month at the fancy gym in town.

  9. I missed the comments on the trapped elevator yesterday. I once took my kids into downtown on a holiday weekend, was stopping into my office to get something, and we were trapped in the elevator for an hour and half waiting for the technician to come. Basically the elevator was stuck right before the initial floors that that elevator serves, so the only way to get it to open would be bring it up or down and they needed to do that “manually” since some kind of water leak messed up the elevator’s computer. I tried my best to make it seem “no big deal,” but I was seriously worried that someone would need to use the bathroom and we’d have to make a difficult decision. In any case, I reported it to the building and building management gave me a starbucks gift card for $50 and I appreciated it. Never thought I would be stuck in an elevator in a Class A office building, but things happen.

    2. I tend to think of myself as a level-headed person who is good in emergencies, but I did not enjoy my trapped in an elevator experience at all. I don’t know if it’s a touch of claustrophobia or what (packed BART trains that get stuck kind of do it to me as well) but anyone in that situation has my complete sympathy.

      1. Same. I was trapped in a tiny, mirrored elevator at a mid-tier boutique hotel with two other people and two heavy suitcases (that’s what did it, we overloaded) on vacation this summer. It never left the ground floor, just kept jerking ominously and the doors wouldn’t open. Only lasted about 15 minutes while they rebooted the system but it was hot, stuffy and very disconcerting!

  10. I’m loving sweater pants this season, which are new to me but probably not new to others. Question: are sweater pants acceptable casual wear akin to jeans and sweater skirts, or are they strictly loungewear? Can I wear them to work (law office) where people wear jeans and a nice top but not a blazer? Can I wear them to dinner at a restaurant where jeans are appropriate, or would it be an Applebees only kind of thing?

    1. I would think they’re almost entirely loungewear or travelwear, but it probably depends what they look like.

    3. They are like pajama tier. You could wear them to the grocery store, not to work or a sit-down dinner.

    4. Structured ponte knit pants, yeah, I’d wear to work with a longer top.

      Slouchy ones are for influencers on flights, fancy nights in, etc.

        1. I’ve had them since August so unclear. My thighs do similar work on all pants, so I just assume it’s coming at some point.

    6. Sweater pant plus matching sweater tops are excellent for long-haul airline flights.

    7. I just pick up a set of sweater lounge wear from gap. I think it works for hosting where sweats would be fine, like when my parents come over for opening presents on Christmas morning or when a girlfriend come for a glass of wine after the kids are in bed. I probably wont wear them out of the house except maybe a coffee run.

  11. Someone commented yesterday about the French Revolution being a failed project- I’d love to read more about that interpretation of history if there are any good books on it

    1. That wasn’t me, but I just read Hilary Mantel’s novel A Place of Greater Safety and I highly recommend if you liked her Wolf Hall trilogy (and probably not if you didn’t- it’s long and dense but beautifully written). It’s very specifically focused on three people rather than a broader history of the French Revolution, so I’d be interested in other people’s recs on that too, but as a work of historical fiction, it’s wonderful.

    2. I’ve been curious about the French Rev also — we started listening to the podcast Revolutions; season 3 is a very deep look at the French Rev.

      1. not real history, but Joanna Bourne’s spymaster books are set during the French Rev and pretty much illustrate the point, most especially “the forbidden rose” about an aristo trying to smuggle other aristos out of France rather than be killed.

      3. +100 to the Revolutions podcast on the French Revolution. You might also try Citizens: A Chronicle of the French Revolution by Simon Schama. (And his podcast on the Haitian Revolution is a must-listen in my opinion.)

        “The French Revolution worked” is right up there with “marriage was not intended to be an economic arrangement” as a terrible take by people who do not know anything about history. The French Revolution lead straight to Napoleon and the empire. Even if you can excuse its excesses (and I cannot), it was terrible in its outcome for an enormous number of people and did basically nothing to improve conditions for most people in France.

        1. Thanks for these recommendations!

          One of the stories from the French revolution I always remember is when Cathar revolutionaries took the opportunity to destroy records of who was a Cathar, and other revolutionaries made up rhymes to memorize their names so that they could continue segregating Cathars in the future (that is how I remember the story if that is right). I think I’m thinking a lot about how whether there are any opportunities in chaos and destruction and also about friends and enemies these days.

    3. Edmund Burke wrote the famous conservative critique back in the 18th century if it’s of interest. I forget if he essentially worried about the phenomenon that would later be called backlash, but others have. Of course a lot of people have been distressed by the idea of taking people’s lives because they were aristocrats and for no other reason, and more generally by the idea that if we could just guillotine the right people, things could get better!

      From a more materialist perspective, I’ve seen it argued that the wealthy scored a victory against any powers (aristocracy, church) that historically were able to keep them in check. Not that the medieval balance of powers was optimal or working well enough at the time (and not the church and the aristocracy aren’t still major land holders in France!), but we have our own issues with inequality and concentrations of wealth and power, and we arguably haven’t come up with a good system yet to replace it.

      Graeber’s books have come up here before; he has a shorter book “On Kings” that gives some broader perspective on monarchies and how European monarchy was in some ways typical and in some ways very anomalous. This is more relevant to the narrative that the revolution was good because obviously kings are bad.

      1. The problem with that narrative being that the French replaced their king with 10 years of chaos that saw tens of thousands of men, women and children murdered – often for spurious reasons and did nothing to improve conditions for the vast majority of people and which only ended when Napoleon became king in all but name.

        This is not BTW me defending the ancien régime – which was horrible on many levels and needed desperately to be dismantled. But every other country in Europe managed to transition to some variety of representative government without the wholesale slaughter and I get tired of people romanticizing it. The French (and Europe as a whole) would have been much better off if the leaders of the Revolution had not been blood-thirsty ideologues who turned on each other the minute the eliminated their common enemy.

        1. I don’t disagree! I was thinking more that “the king is the ultimate elite, target him!” is sometimes propaganda from other elites who resent government power more than ordinary people do? Maybe I’m projecting from current “populist” movements that clearly serve the interests of the wealthy though!

        2. genuinely asking – didn’t all of those countries transition to other representative government AFTER they saw the french rev and american revolutioN?

          1. That is a great question! And the answer is not really although some historians might disagree with me. If anything, both the American Revolution and the transition of the rest of Europe to representative governments was rooted in the English revolution, which ended in a constitutional monarchy. Although that is still a gross oversimplification, particularly if we are talking about Northern Europe.

            I cannot recommend the Revolutions podcast highly enough. The season on the French Revolution is incredibly detailed (perhaps overly so for the casual listener) but he started with the English Revolution.

            Much of the ideology behind the French revolution is rooted in enlightenment French philosophy. But its actual practical execution (literally and figuratively) left a great deal to be desired. And a lot of of what we attribute to the revolution, particularly in the modernization of the French bureaucratic state and the imposition of consistent laws, was actually due to Napoleon.

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