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We went on a family vacation a few weeks ago, and my goal this time was to only do carry-on bags instead of the huge checked bag we often take with us. (It worked great, we should've made the kids carry their own backpacks years ago.)
Anyway, something that kind of flummoxed me was our spray sunscreen — I usually give the kids my regular daily face sunscreen (often Missha, but currently Bioré), and I carry a sunscreen stick in my purse for easy reapplication — but we've always used a spray sunscreen for legs, arms, and any other big exposed areas. It didn't occur to me until right before we left that I couldn't bring our big canister onto the plane, and at the time the only TSA-friendly body sunscreen I could find was liquid. It was fine, but it was kind of a pain slathering everyone's legs and arms with it before we went out.
So I went on a hunt for a travel-sized spray sunscreen, and found this. It isn't fancy, but you can order it online and it's certainly keep enough to grab a couple to put in your various bags.
This Banana Boat option $2.97 at Wal-mart… if you know of any others I'd love to hear them!
Sales of note for 10.10.24
- Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
- Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
- Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
- White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles
Cat
I don’t like spray sunscreen – it feels so expensive for how little coverage you get out of it, and you can always see it blowing away in the breeze (and sometimes inhale it, ick) when nearby guests are applying! For carryon trips I just decant my normal sunscreen into 3oz squeeze bottles from Target.
Or, you know, just buy it when you get there, if it’s somewhere like Florida where you know you won’t be stuck with resort prices.
Anonymous
I wish I could reach my whole back but alas spray it is.
Anon
Yeah I don’t think spray sunscreen is very effective. It’s not hard to find bottles of sunscreen that are 100 mL or less (TSA limit). We’ve been carry-on only for family vacations since my kid got potty-trained and just pack a few bottles. Lightweight UPF shirts and rash guards for swimming also help reduce the total body area that needs to be sunscreened.
Anon3
It is fine as long as no one touches you. Otherwise you get that stuff all over the place, and in places which you do not want it to go.
anon
Yeah, the junior associate in me that worked on mass tort cases shudders when I accidentally inhale that stuff. It would not surprise me at all if in 15 years we find out that inhalation of spray sunscreen is associated with all sorts of respiratory disease.
Anonymous
Also not a fan. Love Supergoop’s mousse sunscreen, which has all the advantages of a spray but stays where you spray it. And, it’s cruelty-free, unlike a lot of sunscreens!
Meara
As a single person who travels alone, and as someone who is ghostly pale, I need a spray sunscreen for my back unless I’m willing to ask total strangers to rub it on which ew. But I am not crazy flexible to reach all parts of my back.
Anonymous
this is why I love rash guards — your back and arms and everything else is covered really easily.
Anon
Yeah, if you’re pale it’s really for the best to cover your back with a rash guard or swim shirt.
Anonymous
It’s much easier to use than lotion on kids, and the people in my life with a lot of body hair find it easier to rub in. I agree that it is hard to get on enough though.
Work Phone
I’m ambivalent about spray sunscreen, but this particular brand and type proved to NOT be sweat-resistant during an outdoor crossfit event.
How to play it cool on a date - UPDATE
I was the 40-ish woman that had such a lovely first date almost 2 weeks ago. Well, we had a 2nd lovely date last Friday. A 3rd date has been set for next weekend.
And last night, I did some googling and have since unearthed this person’s years-long D V record including jail, photos of bruises, and an active order of protection that was refreshed just one month ago.
Now I need to (1) cancel date 3 in the most benign way possible, (2) hope he does not get upset, and (3) examine how this man’s presence felt so solid, kind, and safe to me.
Dating over 40 is so hard:(
Jules
Oh, this is really crappy, and I’m sorry you have to deal with this.
Anon
DV abusers are always wonderful at the outset. Good job googling!!
Anon
I wish someone had told me this when I was 18. Everyone acted like I “missed reg flags” or there was a “chunk in the armour” that allowed it to happen. No, he was smart enough to conceal, love bomb, and slowly amp up the control and abuse.
(Semi related, I looked him up in the court system about a year ago. His wife is divorcing him, filed DV actions, and he’s only allowed supervised visits with the kids. My heart goes out to her.)
Anon
Oh no. That’s awful.
(1) Act like there is no chemistry and use the same script you would for that. Then block his number. Does he know where you live?
(2) Assume he will get upset. That’s why you block and move on.
(3) Best I can think: love bombing.
Did you meet him on a dating site? If so, maybe flag his profile.
Anon
Ugh I’m so sorry that something that seemed great is not. I hope you are able to feel safe when you break it off
Anonymous
I think you need to go away next weekend instead. Is there a family member or friend you would like to visit? Cancel for that, and then ghost after that if possible.
How to play it cool on a date - UPDATE
I actually live next door to family. I also own a weapon and happen to be an excellent shot. I am toying with the idea of working that into our text conversation – e.g. “check out my range practice this weekend, the range officer says I’m the best shooter in town!” Then cancel in another couple of days – get sick, etc.
Anon
Um. That’s very weird.
Anon
Yeah, this took a turn.
Anon
It’s scary, that’s why. She may feel vulnerable and alone.
Anonymous
This is bizarre.
Anon
Not worth it. Now is the time to disengage. Don’t make yourself into a person who should be taught a lesson or otherwise at all interesting.
Cat
uh definitely do not do this
Anon
No. Do not do this. Some men will think it’s a challenge. Some will push buttons to make you look like the bad guy (“she pulled a gun on me!”). He might know to come armed….!!!
I am very pro-2A and really think that prudence dictates that one not talk to randos about their gun stash.
Anonymous
Definitely do not do this. Cancel this weekend due to scheduling. A work thing, family thing, whatever. Don’t offer to reschedule. Back away slowly and carefully.
ABanon
+1. I think this is the way. Don’t reschedule. Just quietly drop out of sight.
Anonymous
These cutesy movie-style little clap-backs or zingers are not going to be effective at all, no offense. Abusers don’t have the same reasonable mindset that most people do and don’t have the same fear response. Don’t go and poke big scary hungry guard dogs.
This person might have already identified you as a target. Counterintuitively, an independent “strong woman” type is even more attractive to many abusers as it’s more of a win to take them down and “heel” them. If this person has “targeted” you, this could come off as a challenge or even a flirtation. You want unambiguous “no/stop” signals, not “I’m hard to get, try me!” stuff like this.
I would send him a single text “I’m sorry, my feelings have changed and I’m not interested in dating any longer. I wish you the best, let’s leave it here. Please don’t contact me again.”
Just be boring, very direct, and polite.
Sunshine
But don’t say you’re sorry. You’re not sorry.
Anon
“These cutesy movie-style little clap-backs or zingers are not going to be effective at all”
Applies to so much, especially here. The only time an abusive person cared what came out of my mouth was when I very seriously threatened to kill him. It was not cutsie; I fully expected I might be in handcuffs that evening and was actually okay with that. It wasn’t the words; it was the fact that I would have chosen losing everything I worked for in my life. He was a coward so he skittered away.
Anon
I think it’s fine to say you’re sorry even when you’re not in these situations. She’s trying to protect her own safety and a little softening language like that can go a long way.
anon
This would be an idiotic move.
OP, block and ghost. I would not play around with a guy like that.
Anon
This. Block and ghost. No further engagement.
Anon
Agree, block and ghost. And ladies, Google before your first dates, save some time.
Cat
ok, that is awful. But he is probably really good at love-bombing.
I would go low-key and straightforward – “hey, we had a great time the other night but I am just not getting the sense we are a long term match. Good luck out there”
anon
Yup, this. You don’t owe any answers or explanations beyond this. Block and move on.
Jules
Yes, this is the way to go.
Anon
A friend once used the line “I just don’t think we have the spark together” on a guy and I thought it was a good way to go. You’re so smart to have googled the guy, OP. Thank god.
Senior Attorney
OMG I’m so sorry. Good for you for finding out sooner rather than later. Definitely just cancel and ghost and save the gun-brandishing for fantasy!
Anon
I’d love some advice from people who were out of shape and then got in shape. I walk a lot but am otherwise pretty sedentary since Covid. I’ve started to go to yoga classes again (I haven’t gone regularly since late 2019). I went last sunday, wednesday, and then this sunday. I am exhausted and sore. Yesterday, although I didn’t feel sore prior to the class, I found the class hard to keep up with because some of my muscles were just… tired. Am I overdoing it? How long until it starts to feel more… normal-hard?
Anon
Yoga teacher here, so can only really speak to that. But my experience is this: three times a week will let you progress (twice a week will help you maintain mobility & strength). And it will likely take a few weeks (I’d say 3-4) when it starts to feel normal-hard.
And all the regular caveats here: drink enough water, get enough sleep, eat well & enough.
But also! Congratulate yourself on getting (back) to this. You’re worth it, and it will get easier & more satisfying.
anon
I think starting with yoga again is a great idea. Sure, you can be sore the day after a good work-out, especially if your body is not used to it, but usually you aren’t tired like that. In fact, exercise usually helps you sleep! But you have barely started. 3 classes??! Give it some time, and maybe don’t push/stretch quite as hard in your classes at first. Yoga classes vary wildly in how “hard” they are, so maybe you need to step back to an easier class, or just modify things for awhile.
I started doing the poses/balance exercises for just a few minutes each day outside of classes, and it is crazy good for whole body toning. Keep up your walking and yoga and you will go far! But you need weeks/months to settle in.
Anon
Make sure you are properly hydrated and are getting enough protein.
Anonymous
I’ve been exercising regularly for years and it still makes me somewhat tired and sore; if you want to progress your fitness, you kind of have to wear yourself out. I have tons of energy on the days I don’t exercise.
Anon
My best advice is to go slowly and be consistent. I always remind myself to go slower than I think I should when I’m getting back into running after a hiatus. Go slow, go easy on yourself but be consistent so that you actually improve in whatever area you’re working on. If you feel tired in yoga class, take a minute in child’s pose. If I worked out the day before and I’m struggling in yoga class, I have no problem going easier that day. As long as I attend class, I’m happy!
Anon
Resist the urge to start with a bang. I have a friend who loves to go from the couch straight into an intense Crossfit workout and she always regrets it. I trend a little too far the other way (I tend to take it TOO easy to avoid severe soreness), but I do think it helps me stick with it for longer.
Sunshine
Talk to me about dermaplaining v face shaving. I do neither, but I’m considering both. I have blond peach fuzz on the sides of my face, which doesn’t really bother me. But it seems that skin care products work better if you do one of these two things. Do you do either? How often? How difficult is it? What does it cost if you pay someone? Etc.
Anonymous
Nah leave it. Skin care products don’t work a bit differently.
anon
Tinkle razor. Myself. Once every week or two. I started for my chin hairs/dark mustache hairs. Then read a little bit about dermaplaining (which is essentially what face shaving is…) and now just quickly do my whole face. Love it. Cheap. Fast. Simple. Easy. Think I watched a YouTube video the first time I did it.
Anonymous
I have those Sephora house brand razors, and just tackle the peach fuzz.
Anon
We have a family friend’s wedding in Italy in September, and are planning to go with our son who will be 6 months old. I am having trouble finding hotels that look decent but are also kid-friendly (or even allow us to book a room with a baby). Is this a situation where it may be worth getting a travel agent to help us navigate? We’re also not entirely sure where we want to go before/after the wedding (we have 3 nights before and 2 nights after, flying in and out of Rome but wedding is somewhere in Umbria). Any travel agent recs would be welcome as well!
Anon
I don’t think you need a travel agent just to book the hotel – we have stayed in hotels all over Europe, including many places in Italy, with a baby, then toddler and kid. Europe in general is much more kid-friendly than the US. Unless the hotel is very explicitly advertised as “adults only” (and very few are) you can stay there with a child and it will be fine. You can request a crib if you don’t want to bring a pack n play from home. You may have to pay more for a larger room. Some European hotels limit the standard room to two people. But honestly this isn’t a bad thing – you’ll want the extra space. Entry level European hotel rooms are tiny.
I’m partial to Tuscany which is reasonably accessible from Rome but there are nice places in the Umbrian countryside too.
Anonymous
Italy with kids is super easy. We’ve gone every year since my oldest was a baby.
Usually kids in Italy under 4 are free if they are staying in the same room as their parents (co-sleeping is much more common). You can bring a pack n play or rent one from the hotel.
I wouldn’t travel around too much. Stay 3 nights Rome and 4 nights Umbria and to a day trip while in Umbria.
Senior Attorney
My friend Claire is an American expat living in Florence and is a great guide/planner. She may be willing to put together an intinerary for you. People here have used her services and been quite happy: https://www.wildsage.it/about-us/
Umbrella Policy Q
Help me with some basic adulting?
We do not have an umbrella insurance policy but suspect we should have one. We’re due to renew homeowners next month and just got the renewal notice, so would like to use this as the time to get it all updated. Both DH and I are 40, 2 little kids (pre-elem age). We have a mortgage and no meaningful debt beyond that – just revolving CC debt we pay off monthly.
Should we have an umbrella policy? Assuming yes, what coverage should we have? Need to call our broker but want to go in with some frame of reference. Internet sleuthing is leading me in all sorts of directions. TIA.
Anon
We have it because my parents always had it and told us we should have it. I’m not really sure it’s strictly necessary if you’re well-insured for other things, but it’s pretty cheap (I think we pay~$150 per year for $1M coverage) so it seems worth it for peace of mind.
Anon
Presumably you have assets that are worth covering. Your debt shouldn’t really matter. We got an umbrella policy at about the same age/stage you are now, just called our agent at some point and asked for one. It was pretty inexpensive for coverage.
Anon
We have 5 million. Our assets including house are about that. We have a child. I figure what if DH or I get into a horrible accident and accidentally kill someone and get sued for all we are worth.
Josie P
Same. I also had a client who hit someone with her car last year and has now gone from quite wealthy to penniless.
anon
Call your broker and ask for pricing at a range of points. There’s often a sweet spot of coverage.
Otherwise, some thoughts on how much to carry include:
-how much money do you have? how much money might others perceive you to have?
-do you engage in activities that put you at greater risk of a higher claim? ie, do you host large pool parties regularly? speed often? Obviously, human life and well being come first, so it’s best to mitigate those risks by doing things like hiring a lifeguard and driving more safely.
-what $ amount is the highest amount professional risk managers are reasonably anticipating in your region? if you don’t have risk manager friends, you can check this by seeing how much insurance a big organization, like your city or a large art museum, requires people to have to rent out a space for a wedding or other event.
anon
Umbrella coverage covers your assets that are not exempt from the homestead exemption (e.g., house, furnishings, one car per adult, so many cows, goats, and chickens, etc. all depends on your state). The first million is normally fairly cheap for the policy, but you will need to max out all underlying policies – so, your other policies may go up. For bigger policies, you may need to provide additional information about assets and need for insurance.
insurance
This is a helpful comment, also retirement savings, social security income, and wedding rings are exempt, typically. So if that is all of your assets, then you likely don’t need one. Garnishment laws typically exempt the first xx amount of after-tax income, and then they can get 25% above that. Once you’re making more than around 70K a year there’s probably enough to garnish, but I’d say most judgment creditors wouldn’t go after you until it’s closer to like 150K + a year. They can also wipe out bank accounts though, but it’s a one-time sweep. In our case, I’m sure they would file a wage garnishment and pick up a few thousand a month, forever, so an umbrella is essential. Probably a good time to look at your auto liability limits too.
Anonymous
I’m looking thru sunscreens now at Nordstrom and there are so many glitter sunscreen lotions for kids! but isn’t glitter a huge source of plastic waste and so forth? seems like putting it directly in the ocean is a bad idea…
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/oct/22/glitter-environment-microplastics-hazard
anonshmanon
If they use mica flakes (a natural mineral) then it could be less problematic.
Anon
Yeah I would assume it’s something like that and not actual glitter. The mineral may have sun protection benefits too. They increasingly think some sun damage comes from visible light, it’s not all due to UV radiation, and my understanding is that minerals protect better against visible light.
Anon3
Well, It is fine as long as no one touches you. Otherwise you get that stuff all over the place, and in places which you do not want it to go. It is bad enough to inhale, but it can also reak havoc elsewhere.
Anonymous
just screaming into the void: my kid has his first play friday night at 6. we changed anniversary travel plans (in part) to attend the play. I corresponded with the owner of the franchise directly confirming that it was definitely Friday and he was involved in it before I cancelled plans. (he’s autistic and at a special school so I wasn’t sure if they were including all the kids from the school or what — his after-school class only had 3 kids in it.)
JUST NOW they tell me it’s at 6pm on Thursday. Whoopsie, they made a mistake and tried to tell everyone as clearly as they could by burying it in 3 later emails with vague subject titles like “April News.”
GRRRR.
Anonymous
A play date is not a summons to jury duty.
Anon
The kid is in a school play. It’s not a playdate
Anonymous
I think the child is performing in a play. OP, I’m sorry, that really sucks.
Anon
How frustrating. At least own your mistakes so people can plan their schedules accordingly. I hope you get to rebook the trip.
Anonymous
It is a play, not a play date.
HSAL
Like, way to not read past the first sentence. Even if OP had written play date, the rest of the post would have clarified.
Anon
Oooh I would be so annoyed. Sorry.
RiskedCredit
Oh i feel you. It’s awful and hard on my special needs children when schedules change.
Call the airline and explain. United have been amazing over the years and Delta stepped in when I needed to quickly get on flight to England with the children.
Anon
I think the issue is that her anniversary plans were previously canceled based on the play being on Friday, and that now turns out to have been unnecessary. If that’s the case the airline is not going to help. If you cancel a $200 plane ticket and the price has subsequently risen to $600 by the time you realize you actually can take the trip, the airline is not going to eat the $400 difference out of the goodness of their heart.
But yes, the US-based carriers now let you cancel/reschedule without penalty if you don’t buy basic economy tickets, which no one should.