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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 245 Comments · by

Tuesday’s TPS Report: Washed Seersucker Jacket

The Personal Shopper (TPS)

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Washed Seersucker JacketSay what you will about seersucker: I think it's a fun preppy classic for the office. While head-to-toe seersucker is a bit much (which is not to say I haven't known men who wear it H2T), I like it best for women as a blazer. It's lightweight, breezy, and this particular blazer has a cute curved hem and floral lining. It's $198 at Brooks Brothers. Washed Seersucker Jacket Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-2)

Sales of note for 9.10.24

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Comments

  1. Blonde Lawyer

    To Mezzaluna – Thank you for mentioning Brahmin bags and the Fairhaven outlet. I had never checked this brand out before and their weekender “carryon” bag might be perfect as a feminine trial bag. I grew up near Fairhaven and never knew this existed. Time to plan a visit to the parents!!

    • mezzaluna

      You’re welcome! That outlet/factory store is near my in-laws’ home and I always make a visit. They have tent sales — there should be one at the end of May — which also have great deals.

    • anon

      I love Brahmin bags. The ones I have have really held up well. I try to watch for sales at Dillards, we don’t have an outlet nearby.

  2. Frugal City Girl

    Has anybody tried the FitDesk? I’ve been trying to figure out how to set up my home office so I don’t move from sitting on my bum all day to sitting on my bum all evening. Currently I sit on a yoga ball but I’ve heard really good things about FitDesk.

    • Kanye East

      I’ve never used a FitDesk, but I’ve been using a stand-up desk for years. (Mine is actually just a cheap Ikea computer table with shelves you can configure at any height.) Before that, I tried just about every kind of chair you can imagine, and let me tell you, I get fewer puzzled looks and stupid comments from coworkers about my stand-up desk than any of my crazy ball chairs.

      • L

        Do you find yourself more productive when you stand? Do you alternate between standing and sitting? I would imagine when you’re on the computer its not too hard, but writing and such would be difficult standing.

        • Kanye East

          I have a larger desk I can sit at, but I stand most of the time. I’ll sit if I’m reviewing a large volume of paper documents, but that’s about it. (I’d say I’m about the same in terms of productivity as I was before.)

  3. Nancy P

    Love the pocket square. I may try to recreate this with my $50 H&M seersucker jacket from a few years ago.

  4. ADL

    Count me in as someone who loves seersucker – and BB seersucker is the best. It usually goes on sale, so you can stalk it.

  5. Diana Barry

    It says it has 2 buttons, but I only see one.

    Also, is it just me, or does the curved hem make the jacket not quite meet itself at the bottom? That always looks weird to me bc it looks like the jacket is too small.

    • M-C

      If you look at the grain, the bottom is not curved, but it’s too small for her hips.
      Also, it says ‘cotton’ without specifying 100% cotton, so I’d guess it has some polyester. Yuck! Seersucker is designed never to need ironing, polyester in that is a crime.

  6. AIMS

    I really love this. I always want a SS suit for summer and yet every time I try one on I feel like I am wearing my PJs — not a good look. I think with a navy bottom and white top, this could be really adorable.

    • AIMS

      PS: I used to work with a woman who pulled off head to toe SS suits very well. She had one blue and one beige. But she was one of those super tall, slim athletic types – so maybe that helped make the look seem so elegant.

      • a passion for fashion

        I’ve been known to wear a beige SS suit, though i often split it up. I have also been known to wear my blue SS dress with its matching SS blazer, though again, i usually split it up. I think you can get away with it in july and august.

        • b23

          I wear a green seersucker skirt suit from Kay Unger. I’m always so excited for Easter to get here so I can pull it out!

    • Supra

      I have decided that I need a seersucker suit for this summer. I think I’d like a dress and a matching jacket best.

    • Bluejay

      I think it’s really hard to pull off an entire SS suit. I have an SS jacket and I adore it – goes with everything. And an SS dress with a white or bright cardigan looks great. But I’ve never been able to do a full suit.

      • Jules

        When I clerked in federal court in Virginia many of the older attorneys and judges wore the full seersucker. This was in the late 80s; I’d come from DC where all the men dressed like Gordon Gekko and it took some getting used to. One judge who was about age 78 always rocked the full seersucker suit with a string tie, straw hat and actual saddle shoes. Of course, not everyone can pull of this look . . .

    • Lucy

      I have a great SS navy/black blazer – I’m stumped on styling, though. Either black or navy seems very matchy-matchy, but I’m not sure what else to try. Would a navy and white print dress be too much?

  7. Anon

    Any recs for a mid-range, good quality navy suit? Prefer something lined or wool.

    • DeGirl

      I’ve seen some navy suits in BR last weekend in the retail store. It was a skirt suit but was pretty good. I didn’t notice but I’m sure there are pants to go with it as well.

    • PittsburghAnon

      Calvin Klein at Macy’s. Jacket, pants, 2 kinds of skirts, and a dress. All lined. Ugly buttons but those are easy to change out. Comes in navy, black, and charcoal. Each piece is $60-$90.

    • Hel-lo

      I just got a great one at Nordstrom. It’s Halogen, and has a ribbon belt (which I cut off) and black topstitching.

      I also ordered one from Talbots last year. It’s more formal.

    • Jones NY

      Go to a Macy’s with a big selection and head to the Jones NY section. You’ll find more different styles/cuts of skirts, pants and jackets that all go with each other to form suits than you can shake a stick at. They always have everything in black, and I think also in navy. Reasonably priced. Tailored/classic. Well constructed.

  8. DeGirl

    Is a suit dress appropriate for interviews? I’d be attending some soon in a formal environment (think investment bank). May be a sleeve-less suit dress and a suit jacket? And can I go all black or all gray? I am heavy bottomed and really really want to avoid pants. I wear skirts regularly but periodically keep pulling them down – which I really want to avoid. I’m 29. Please help!

    • Former MidLevel

      Yes, you can wear a suit dress with your suit jacket. And black and gray are both fine. Good luck at your interview!

    • TCFKAG

      I would say that 99% of the time a suit dress with a jacket is totally fine, but at some old white shoe firms and investment banks you run the slight chance of running into an older male (or even female) partner who thinks they’re “newfangled” or something and therefore inappropriate. BUT, I think that slight risk is greatly outweighed by the fact that you’ll feel more comfortable and confident in something that you don’t think is going to ride up, therefore giving you BACK your edge. :-)

      Plus, I love how necklaces sit on top of suit dresses under jackets, especially pearls. Its so classic.

    • anon too

      I have worn suit dresses to many of my interviews with white shoe law firms. I have gotten offers wearing a suit dress, skirt suit, and pant suit. I think as long as you look polished you will be fine.

    • Ms. Basil E. Frankweiler

      I have the same issue with my skirts and dresses (readjusting constantly throughout the day) and what helped was taking shorter steps. I’m from New york so I’ve always walked forcefully and I’m slowly learning that this is not how I should walk in a skirt/dress. It takes me a couple extra steps to get where I’m going, but on the bright side much less adjusting and more steps in the day. It’s a win-win!

    • Anon

      I work at a traditional white shoe investment bank in NYC and I think that would be totally fine. To be honest, there are very few women at our firm so men do not tend to judge female dress as appropriate / inappropriate because they don’t know!

      For an all black / all gray look…I would add some (conservative) detail like a scarf / pearls / slightly-more-interesting-than-basic shoes to enhance the look!

    • Bluejay

      Yes, but make sure it’s a real suit (i.e. the jacket and dress came together) and not separates. And for a more conservative look I’d stick to a dress suit that’s all one color, or a dress that has a different color top but a bottom that matches the jacket.

  9. KC

    Any recommendations for ballet flats with a bit of support/cushioning? I’ve work my current, unsupportive pair to the ground and would like to replace them with something a little nicer.

    • phillygirlruns

      cole haan – the air bacara are very cute and supportive, but the elastic design makes them dig into my heels after awhile. the air bandons are just as supportive and have a much more comfortable heel, but are a little less cute. or, as anony below says, cheap flats with pricier inserts.

    • MissJackson

      AGL flats. Pricey, but worth it if they don’t totally blow your budget.

    • rosie

      I picked up a pair of Me Too flats based on recommendations here. They do feel more cushioned than other flats I have. I got mine from DSW.

      • Ms. Basil E. Frankweiler

        I love the Me Too flats, but next time I buy a pair I will size down because they stretch. I almost ran out of a pair yesterday running for the bus.

    • a passion for fashion

      i just bought a pair of born flats on sale at Nordstrom Rack for about 60 bucks. really, really cute and great arch support/cushioning

    • Batgirl

      Clarks have great support, though they can be a little frumpy. If you look long and hard, though, you can find some cuter ones.

      As for the idea of inserts, that works for some people but if you have foot issues, it really doesnt’ cut it. My podiatrist thinks supportless ballet flats are almost as bad/worse than high heels.

    • anon

      You might try Cole Haan Air Tali Lace Wedge, it looks like a ballet flat but has a 1 1/2 inch wedge. I love mine, very comfortable, more support than a flat, imo.

      • Coalea

        I am wearing those today! Every now and then I wobble in them and fear breaking my ankle and/or neck – but I think that is due to my personal klutziness and is not related to the shoes.

      • Mo

        Size 1/2 size or full size down in the Air Tali wedges (or use an insert) these puppies stretch and increase the clumsy factor! I love them though.

        • anon

          Second that. My feet are usually not wide enough for Wide sizes, but shoes that run narrow just won’t fit. Ecco never fit me.

        • M-C

          I should have specified I like them because I have wide feet :-). In my experience, they stretch quickly and gracefully, and then fit perfectly. They also have toe room, something which most shoes that look the same don’t have.

      • NOLA

        Actually my only pair of Ecco shoes ran so big I had to go down a size. And I have wide feet.

    • Nonny

      My go-to pair is from Geox. I am wearing them right now. I can walk miles in them and they are so comfortable I often don’t take them off at work until I actually have to go see a client.

    • shortiek

      Lands End.
      The “Emma” is shoe-like and supportive, but runs very narrow. (I have normal/slightly wide feet and I found “Wide” just fit.) They’re also ridiculously cheap so it’s definitely worth a try.

  10. Anonette

    Trying again because I am in moderation…

    I was just diagnosed with adult ADD (thanks to all the corporettes that suggest I see someone professionally!) and while I am happy to find out what is going on, I feel a little sad when I think about the missed opportunities I had as a result of ADD. I’m really looking forward to correcting this and my doctor suggested medication for my personal circumstances. Has anyone used Adderall or any other ADD medications after being diagnosed with ADD or ADHD? How much of a difference did you notice?

    My doctor said that most people describe the change as “night and day” and this is really tough for me to imagine since of couse I don’t know how to be any other way than I already am now!

    • anon for this

      my husband was diagnosed with adult ADD earlier this year. he recently started adderall on a fairly low dose. while he says he doesn’t notice much of a difference, i noticed a marked difference, particularly in his level of focus while we’re talking. i have a feeling he expected the medicine to be like NZT in the movie “limitless” – like he’d take a pill and suddenly write a pulitzer prize-winning novel in six hours or something.

    • MD/DC observer

      Don’t feel too sad for too long. Your life is what it is. Give yourself lots of credit for seeing a problem and taking constructive action. Besides, you must have done something right regarding work decisions, educational achievements, and/or personal relationships (list neither in order of importance nor in order of insignificance), because you’re on Corporette ;-) !

      I started taking a relatively low dose of Strattera after a period of being so stressed that I lost track of objects, information, time, and the progress of projects at work and at home. In retrospect, I have always had trouble with these, but not to the same degree. No formal diagnosis, but my child (biological fwiw) has ADHD. If I forget to refill my prescription promptly I feel vague and unfocused. Your experience may be different because everyone has different biochemistry.

      If you haven’t done this yet, check out CHADD (Children and Adults with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) at www dot chadd dot org. The site is rich in information. Members get a subscription to their magazine ADDitude. Local chapters nationwide offer various support groups and/or educational programs. I’ve found it helpful to read ADDitude and attend the occasional parent meeting. At some point I’ll try to attend a program for adults with ADD/ADHD.

      Good luck! I hope your life begins to take a shape that you enjoy.

      • Coalea

        I’m confused as to how you came to be taking Strattera if you have not been diagnosed with ADD/ADHD. Can you explain? (FWIW, I’m just confused, not trying to accuse you of anything or be snarky.)

      • GovtMom

        I’ll answer since it was prescribed for my son — Strattera is often used to treat anxiety, though it often helps with attention, too. Given what MD/DC Observer said about her stress levels, I would guess it was prescribed for anxiety.

    • Anon

      I noticed a night and day difference. I was prescribed Adderall. It was great to keep me focused at work but it was even better on the weekends. I was a project maven! A note-be very careful the first week you are taking it. First, the first week on I got VERY jittery after I drank my morning coffee, which took me by shock because I could otherwise drink tons of caffiene with no jitters. After the Adderall got adjusted in my system I was fine to drink coffee again. Second, I found that any alcohol would make me useless. If I had a glass of wine while making dinner, once I sat down, that was it for me for the night. Third and finally, don’t be suprised that once the Adderall wears off, you might be markedly tired. To help combat this so I wouldn’t be falling aleep at my desk, I would wait to take the Adderall after I got to work, rather than when I got up in the morning. Despite these issues, I would start taking it again if my insurance would cover the required drug screenings. Good luck!

      • Theresa

        I was just diagnosed about 4 years ago (I am 30) and I have noticed a night and day difference. I took Adderall for about a year and just switched to Vyvanse. Adderall made a HUGE difference, but I found that it would provide a rush of energy as it took effect and then I’d crash hard when it wore off, which is why my doctor switched me to Vyvanse. We are still working out the dose, but I noticed a significant increase in concentration on both Adderall and Vyvanse. I am very Type-A, so I would work long evening and weekend hours to stay on top of my work without medicine, but I noticed a dramatic improvement with my concentration and attention to detail on both medications. I also struggle very hard with staying on task at home (cleaning, organizing, etc) and both medicine have helped significantly with that, also.

        I agree with all of Anon’s comments re: Adderall. While I felt that I was slightly more driven on Adderall, I prefer the slower release of the Vyvanse.

      • Anon for this

        Is that a state requirement? My doc doesn’t require drug screens. Maybe find a new doc?

    • Anon for this

      I take adderall xr during the day and a smaller short acting dose in the late afternoon if I know I will be working late. At first I noticed side effects (reduced hunger for one) but they wore off quickly. I started on Vyvanse but was having heart racing issues and my doctor couldn’t move the dose any lower which is why I went back on Adderall XR. Docs prefer Vyvanse because it is harder to abuse. This is less of an issue (one would hope) for adult professionals so you shouldn’t have a problem switching to Adderall if necessary.

      I feel like I am able to get a lot more done with it and spend less time just staring at my desk wondering how to get started. I most definitely have ADD still but my husband sees a big difference in me medicated versus not. In fact, I also take it on the weekends because I think it is good for my marriage lol!

      Like you, I also wonder what I could have accomplished if I had been on meds in high school instead of at 30. Either way, I managed to get here, and that is all that matters.

      • Anon for this

        One other perk to give you something to look forward to. Bedtime sexy fun was much better, near instantly, on meds than it was off. No more “oh that feels good,” “what are we having for dinner?” moments. I’m sure even non add people experience that too but I had a really hard time just focusing on all the things that felt good and not being distracted by every.little.noise. including a scratch on my head, the dog by the bed, a motorcycle that just went by, and email I forgot to respond to, etc. If your med has worn off by the time you get home, try having “sexy time” on the weekend while it is still in your system. (That is, if you are currently engaging in “sexy time.”)

        • Anonette

          Thank you SO much for posting this. I have definitely had this issue during “sexy time” with my husband and have been hoping that ADD medication would help keep me from getting distracted constantly.

    • Mouse

      I’m starting to wonder if I should talk to a doctor about ADD/ADHD (apologies for the thread jack) — I’ve always been easily distracted, but now it’s just that much worse. Can’t focus during the day at work, then at night my mind is still churning.

      Is this something that should be done through a primary care doctor? I think I’ll feel like a spechul snowflake who watches too many pharam ads if I just straight up ask about it. But, I realize it’s something that wouldn’t get dealt with unless I brought it up.

      • Theresa

        I would speak with my primary care doctor first, but they may refer you to a specialist. In my case, I was diagnosed with depression and was already seeing a psychiatrist, who diagnosed my ADHD. I have since changed psychiatrists twice (due to location/insurance changes) and my ADHD has always been treated by the psychiatrists, although my primary care doctor is aware of it.

    • TCFKAG

      That is definitely…weird. Maybe it was the end of the day and her footsies hurt? Though if you click on “alternate view” they suggest some really cute flats to go with it. So I’m not sure why she couldn’t have worn those.

      She does have very nice toe nails though. I’ll give her that.

    • Bluejay

      A lot of Talbot’s loungewear is styled with barefoot models. I guess that adds to the lounge/beachy look. That skirt is made of sweatsuit material.

    • mamabear

      I think it’s supposed to be a yoga pants type of skirt. Not a work skirt. I think the bare feet are how they telegraph that.

    • Tired Squared

      That’s strange — but it looks like a weekend/loungey skirt, so maybe they’re trying to style her like she is at home, relaxing?

    • eek

      Maybe it’s the economy and Talbots is saying that hey, if you have to choose because you can’t afford both, we think you should get the skirt and look, we styled it without shoes, so it’s totally ok, America. Because everyone needs their bits covered up more than shoes.

      • TCFKAG

        Eek…I think you’ve found the explanation. They are also battling this weird trend of people wearing see through long skirts over short skirts for casual days. They’re saying…look, a whole skirt!

    • Hel-lo

      I think that’s cute. I’d love to wear that skirt in the summer barefoot!

  12. Prepster?

    Hi everyone! Any recommendations for what to wear to the Foxfield races? It’s my first time so no idea but I’ve been reading that you should wear preppy stuff. I normally wear black and other dark colors and don’t wear pastels, florals or preppy stuff generally. I want to wear something that is more like me but at the same time I want to fit in and take part in the preppy fun. Some of the dresses I’ve looked at seem short and strapless but is that what most girls wear? I was also planning to wear wedges. Thanks in advance!

    • Go Hoos

      Girls wear sundresses to Foxfields as a general rule. A (admittedly snarky) website suggests the following for Foxfields wear: Sun dresses, flip flops, silly hats, sunglasses, pearls, Yurman, Lily Pulitzer (if you want to have the same dress as everyone). Pack lots of sunscreen and hydrate!

      • Double Hoo

        This is exactly right. I totally understand not wanting to spend the money for a Lilly Pulitzer dress if that’s not your style, but that is the general look you will be seeing that day, so you may want to use it as inspiration. You could probably wear a white dress if you’d rather not wear color. Do NOT wear black or gray – you will feel incredibly out of place. Wedges are better than heels, but flip-flops are best of all because you will be wandering around on the grass all day. A hat is a good idea, both for style and protection. And finally, wear sunscreen, drink lots of water, remember to eat, and BE SAFE!

        Have fun. :)

        • Double Hoo

          Oh, and I guess to answer your question, short and strapless would probably be fine. Especially if it’s a cotton sundress style.

        • another former 'hoo

          Agree that you will mostly see bright colors and lots of Lily and Milly, etc., but over the course of many FF, spring and fall, I wore a wide range of dresses (always dresses, or skirts/tanks) and always felt comfortable, whether they were seersucker (Target occasionally comes through for this — I bought mine years ago and it was super-cute, cheap, and less upsetting to spill beer and get grass-stains on) or bright prints, or black (JCrew strapless jersey from the outlet). If you want to wear black or navy or something more somber, consider accessories — big colorful necklaces, bright belts/scarves, fun floppy hats. And I always had baby wipes and Purell in my bag.

      • KC

        This is what I would suggest. Also consider a crossbody bag, as it’ll help you juggle your drink and camera (like others said, it’s one big costume party – so you’ll want to document everything) more easily. Have fun!

    • Wahoo

      I recommend dressing cartoonishly preppy – think big hat, seersucker, sunglasses, and sundress. Remember that you will be on grass all day, and most people will be quite drunk, so flip-flops are the best footwear.

    • Also try to see a horse if you can.

      Things to wear to Foxfields, from a former Hoo:

      Sunscreen (seriously). Please wear sunscreen. Especially if the weather is like it is right now. Everyone comes back so incredibly sunburned from Foxfields.
      Shorter (but mid-calf is fine), strapless or fine strap sundress. I always wore strapless cotton sundresses. I would not wear something longer than mid-calf, for the reason below. Also, if there’s time, try to wear something not from Barracks Road, because everybody is either wearing something from Barracks or from the over-priced boutiques on the Corner.
      On shoes – every year, regardless of the weather, whatever shoes I wore came back absolutely covered in mud. Perhaps I partied too hard? But I would recommend not wearing your nicest shoes.
      A hat or sunglasses is also usually a must.

      Honestly, I wasn’t preppy either, but if you think of it sort of as a preppy costume party, then you’ll have a good time.

      Have a good time for me. :)

      • Go Hoos

        Life at UVA is frequently a little like one big preppy costume party. But that’s okay! :-)

        • a. wahoo is a fish that can drink twice its weight

          Nostalgia indeed. I was on Grounds for a meeting yesterday and saw some stunners.

          Oh, another thing for the OP–make sure you read up on the likker and container regulations for the year. They’ve been tweaking them on a yearly basis.

          And what the heck, OP or any other Foxy-bound readers, if you’re interested in meeting up, let me know! l s d 9 v @ virginia, yes I have the most unfortunate initials known to god and man, thanks forever parents

    • KLG

      If pastels or florals aren’t your thing, don’t feel like you HAVE to wear Lily Pulitzer. I do recommend a sundress and flip flops (easier to hose off at the end of the day) plus sunscreen. The hats are more practical than you might think if it’s a hot sunny day (which it often is), but I never wore one because I always thought I looked silly. I would stay away from black (although you could always wear a colored belt and accessories) but go with any color/pattern that’s you. Maybe jewel tones?

      I do agree that most girls wear strapless above the knee sundresses but there will be plenty of people wearing dresses with more coverage

    • a.

      OH MY GOD FOXY IS MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY, SO EXCITED TO SEE IT GETTING LOVE I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS CANNOT FUNCTION (sorry for the over enthusiasm; it’s been a rough couple of days, this is seriously the first thing that’s made my smile since 10am yesterday) But in case you couldn’t tell, I am kind of a Foxfield professional, so I can tell you anything you need to know about it in really, really excruciating detail.

      As far as clothing goes, I wear dresses that are “me” (so hipster-adjacent, not preppy; Lilly Pulitzer and associated pink/green/pastel patterns will never touch my flesh) but that are still roughly in line with the Foxfield idea. Usually I’ll wear a sundress I have lying around, since I don’t want to risk wrecking something new or nice, and add a big hat, sunglasses, and an inch of sunscreen. Most people will be in knee-length or shorter dresses, many will be strapless, but eh, do as you feel–I’ll be busting out a one-shouldered maxi this year. It’s not like there’s a dress code, but I’d definitely recommend playing with color, since, as you say, preppy fun!

      Also, as far as footwear goes–do not wear shoes you are not okay with ruining or standing in all day long. I would really, really, really advocate something flat in place of wedges. You get extra Foxfield points if you wear Rainbows, if you’re going the costume party route.

    • Prepster?

      Thanks everyone for the awesome advice/suggestions! I’m willing to go all out preppy/floral/pastels for this but just needed the Corporette’s blessing to do so since I trust you guys and wasn’t sure about these other websites. I was just worried about showing up like that and no one actually does! I’m definitely switching to flipflops now. And it’s good to know there will be lots of drinking so maybe no one will notice my outfit anyway if it’s wrong! You guys have gotten me so excited for it now. LSD, I’m not sure what the event is like or what the schedule is going to be but that would be awesome if there was a Corporette meet up at Foxfield!

      • Nora

        There is no schedule at Foxfield. There is just wandering around, enjoying the people watching and the bourbon & ginger.

  13. phillygirlruns

    i posted this earlier today on the coffee break thread, but – refinery29 has a $151-off-$300 voucher for black halo today. i’m ordering the jackie sheath in cobalt and debating picking up a second voucher for another color…

  14. modern boot

    T/J–any fans of Gap’s modern boot dress pants? I have one pair from last year (purchased fall 2010) that I really like, so I decided to pick up a few more pairs in a recent sale. I bought 3 different colors, and I have been wearing 1, trying to figure out if I should keep the other 2, because they do not fit me the same. I am trying to figure out if washing and wearing the new pairs enough will make them fit more like my old ones, or if the cut is different. Anyone else notice this?

    I purchased the same size, and I think they are a little longer (which I am willing to write off as a washing machine issue) and tighter up top, but with more gaping in the waistband. I’m also willing to accept that I’ve gained weight, but the gaping waistband is a still a little weird.

    • Yes!

      the cut is different! i was very sad to notice that they changed things. I went in to buy a few new pairs, the modern boot was my favorite and i’ve worn my black pair into the ground, but this time around, the cut is funny and the material difference is what i notice the most. they are much thicker. I know that most people want nice thick pants because that’s better quality but honestly, what i loved about my pair was how nice and thin they were, they don’t wrinkle and wash great, but now they are much thicker feeling. i havent bought any of the new spring ones, but i’d love to hear your thoughts on how the fabric itself washes…but i do agree, teh fit is weird, they were tighter around my thighs, and i’ve actually lost weight since i bought my first pair.

      • modern boot

        Mine are tighter around the thighs, too! I am wearing a new (this spring) pair today after having washed them once, and maybe they are a little looser, but they don’t feel as good as my old pair. I didn’t notice a fabric difference, although maybe they generally feel a bit more substantial.

    • Anonymous NYer

      I can’t speak to these specific pants, but I’m pretty sure Gap just re-cuts all their pants every season. I have a favorite pair of jeans I got circa 2010, I went back the next year when I had a coupon that worked on jeans and bought the exact same style and size – and I could not even pull them up they were so small (and the original ones I had still fit great).

      ugh. consistency and reliability are lacking at Gap. not cool.

      • modern boot

        That’s kind of what I was afraid of. I noticed it before with a pair of cords, but I was hoping they wouldn’t mess with the modern boot pants. Oh well, looks like the other 2 pairs are going back. It’s not worth keeping them around if the fit is always going to be just so-so.

      • AT

        They definitely change cut/fit pretty regularly, but also because of how they literally cut their clothes (in a big stack), there will be wild variations in fit, so whenever I shop at Gap (and also BR, and other larger retailers), I always take in at least 2-3 pairs of the same cut/size. Invariably one will be too big and one too small, and if I’m lucky one will fit reasonably well.

    • PharmaGirl

      I wear these pants almost exclusively so have every version. All of the striped fabrics (gray and blue versions)are tighter in the butt and thighs. The new light tan pants are way bigger in the waist. The black and gray pairs that I bought earlier in the winter are juuuust right. I have a lighter gray pair from last year that is a much lighter fabric but shorter in length and extremely wrinkly in the crotch (so much so that I reserve them as emergency pants).

      • modern boot

        Thanks for that info. I got charcoal stripe, solid navy, and solid black (and have solid charcoal from last year) and I have only tried the charcoal stripe so far–I will be sure to try the solids before sending them back. Gap, why do you do this!?

        • PharmaGirl

          Yeah, I’m pretty sure the charcoal is even slimmer than the blue stripe. I tried those on th eother day and probably need to go up a size. Let me know if the solid navy are cut similar to the charcoal. I don’t have that pair!

          At least they haven’t discontinued the line completely… which was the sad fate of my last favorite style of Gap pants.

  15. DC Anon

    Any DC-ers see the space shuttle this morning? Everyone in my office went up on the roof and it was very fun. Now I’m having trouble getting back to work because I’d love to be having a roof party right now.

    • Can't wait to Quit

      I missed it by minutes. The view from my office in Tyson’s Corner was apparently fantastic, but I was stuck on the Beltway for 1 hour and 45 minutes due to an accident. Since my last day is Friday, I am really, really hoping that was my last really bad Beltway commute.

    • eek

      CWTQ — ugh on traffic. I am so over that stretch of the Beltway.

      My mom sent me some pictures from Chantilly. Very cool. I watched on News Channel 8; Brian van de Graff was so excited, like, so excited it’s worth me mentioning here.

      • Kiki DC

        It was a perfect day to be out of the office to watch the shuttle! We weren’t allowed to go on the roof, so headed out to the Mall with droves of people. Yet another reason I love living here – always something unique and fun going on.

    • Anastasia

      We all went up to my building’s roof, too. It did 3 passes right by us (Arlington), and it was awesome! And yes, so hard to go back to work afterward. The weather is way too nice to be indoors…

    • GovtMom

      I was on the Clara Barton Parkway and it flew right overhead. Was very awesome. Wish I had been on a roof somewhere and not on the road.

      The traffic the rest of the way into DC was not so awesome.

  16. Awful Lawful

    Has anyone ever had to deal with a drycleaner losing your clothing? I’m unfortunately having to deal with this problem right now. I stupidly let my drycleaning pile up for weeks (my favorite drycleaner went out of business and I was dragging my feet about finding a replacement) and I finally took it somewhere over the weekend. Yesterday when I went to pick it up, they couldn’t find it. I came back after an hour and they still hadn’t found it. Then they had me look through their racks to see if I could spot it. No luck. The manager assures me that they will find it, but I’m feeling more and more like it is going to be lost forever.

    The worst part is that it contained the majority of my work slacks, a three piece suit and my favorite cardigan. I have such a hard time finding work wardrobe staples, so I know these pieces are not going to be easy to replace. I’m still trying to hold out hope that they will turn up, but I’m starting to panic. Has anyone had to deal with this issue before and did the dry cleaners pay to replace the items?

    Also, this is warning to others not to put all of your eggs in one (laundry) basket!

    • Magdeline

      That is horrible! Since it is so many pieces of clothing, they are presumably all together somewhere, and they will turn up. I would have a lot less hope if you were missing only one item.

      I have had my dry cleaner lose my favorite silk shell, two days before my first jury trial!!! They had accidentally given it to someone else, and that person brought it back in time for me to wear it to my trial.

      Do they send some items out to be cleaned off site?

    • Please don't sue them for 10million dollars

      It won’t make it better. :-)

      And if you don’t know what I’m talking about, google is your friend. Craziest thing ever. And they may still find it. They probably send out stuff and its just late coming back (hopefully)! Otherwise, maybe they’ll give you something in recompense (though the rules usually say tough cookies, but they try to keep customers happy to avoid bad reviews.)

    • Happy Anon

      This is so frustrating – I’m sorry for you!! I’ve had this problem but not nearly on as big a scale. I had a drycleaner lose our down comforter (seriously!? they’re enormous!) leaving us comforter-less in a big cold spell while we haggled with them for reimbursement. They did not want to give us cash for the lost comforter (which cost >$500 when new!). Eventually they gave us a drycleaning credit of around $400. Not idea though given we were afraid they’d lose everything. So, I took the next round of drycleaning to another cleaner and they lost a skirt suit of mine, claimed it wasn’t on their ticket, and will not reimburse me (I’m still battling over this). So – I don’t want to terrify you, but I truly hope they find it, and if they don’t, be prepared to do serious battle for reimbursement for the lost items. Be tougher and more demanding than I was, for your own sake!!!

    • IMMJ

      My drycleaner lost one of my favorite sweaters (bought from a Corporette suggestion) after it had been in storage over the summer. He paid me the full price I had paid, even though it was a year or more old. (I told him I’d take 80%, figuring that I’d normally wear something like that for about 5 years, but he gave me credit for the full amount since he wanted to keep our business.)

    • Bluejay

      OK, this may sound obvious, but are you sure that’s the drycleaner you took it to? Did they have a record of it in their system? Because I can totally see myself dropping my stuff off at one drycleaner, and then going to pick it up at the wrong one and freaking the F out.

      If they did lose it, do you have the receipt? That should show an exact inventory of what you dropped off, and they should have a liability policy that will cover replacement costs (at least to a point). Your homeowner’s policy may also cover this sort of thing.

      • CA Atty

        This actually happened to a friend of mine in reverse. She went in to drop off some clothes at a new dry cleaner she had never tried before and they were like “um, do you want your jacket back” She had dropped a winter jacket off like…8 months previously and completely forgotten about it.

    • a passion for fashion

      this just happened to us, but it was my husband’s shirts. I brought a bunch of stuff into a dry cleaners that i dont normally use and when I picked it up a week later, they had not given me everything. I didnt notice though, i guess just assuming everything else was at the other cleaners. a few weeks later, my husband asked where the heck all of his shirts were. I was a bit freaked out b/c it was like a grand worth of shirts.

      Good ending though. We went back to the cleaners and they wound up finding all of his shirts. So im sending good vibes your way and hopefully your story will end up like mine.

    • Can't wait to Quit

      Stay calm. I had a favorite shirt disappear once, and it re-appeared a few days later – it had been sent home with someone else who then brought it back when they discovered it. Make sure the cleaners has your phone number in case something like this happened.

    • M-C

      This is why I only go to dry cleaners that have their own plant. If it all goes out of town to some big warehouse, it’s much harder to find it again. And you can’t leave a note so that the person who got your — knows who to give it back to, and conversely.
      But that’s advice over spilt milk :-(. Good luck, really, that’s an awful thing to have happen.

      • Kellyn

        This. I used to work at a satellite location of a dry cleaner that used a common plant and I got so sick of explaining to rightfully outraged customers why we had no idea where their stuff went. They lost my stuff too. Awful. Thankfully i have a new dry cleaner with its own plant. I’ve even gone so far as to, when the stuff is on the big pile on the counter, take a quick cell pic of the pile. Cheap insurance (when I remember…)

    • Anastasia

      The dry cleaner lost a pair of my husbands slacks a couple weeks ago — it somehow got separated from the rest of the order. When he took the next batch in a week later, though, they had turned up. Don’t lose hope yet!

      • Awful Lawful

        Thanks for the support! This facility actually does their cleaning in house, so it’s not an issue with the clothes being delivered late or being sent to the wrong location. Bluejay – that’s a good thought, but I am positive which location I took it to. They had the invoice and everything, but when they went to pull it, it wasn’t on the rack where it should have been.

        Sigh…..I hope it turns up soon. Otherwise, I’m totally suing for $10 million!!! ;)

        • Bluejay

          I think if they do it in house, this is what happened: When you drop off your clothes, they put them all in a bag together and tag the bag with your name. Either the bag got misplaced and is sitting in a back room somewhere, they tagged it with someone else’s name or lost the tag, or it got thrown out somehow. I’ll cross my fingers for the first option.

  17. Magdeline

    PSA: I used the Conair bun-maker today (similar to the Pinterest-popular sock bun), and I love it! It makes my hair style look very polished and elegant. I thought that my layers might poke out, but they don’t. (My hair is past my shoulders with medium and long layers.) It took less than 5 minutes to do, which meant an extra 15 minutes of sleep for me this morning. I have tried Spin Pins, and my layers would poke out and look messy, so I like this much more.

    • Merabella

      My sister used these one Halloween to have a Princess Leah hairstyle in the 80’s, so I always think of them in that context, but they are awesome. I had trouble with the spin-pins too. I’ll have to check these out again!

    • CA Atty

      Oh god, I just realized when you posted this that my hair is still up in my shower bun. I was running a wee bit late this morning!

  18. TCFKAG

    So, hopefully this won’t out me to the few remaining people in the world who don’t already know who I am. But I cut off 11 inches of my hair yesterday (donating it to Locks for Love!) Its been about 5-6 years since my last true pixie cut and I realize my hair care ensemble is woefully not up to the task.

    Can people give me good tips on their favorite short hair products. I need something that will provide hold with movement (I’m not looking for a faux-hawk or spikes here). Also, as a side note, my hairdresser had the most beautiful waterfall braid to a side braid yesterday and I told her that she had a Katniss braid…and she hadn’t read the books! :-)

    • 30

      When my (fine, wavy) hair was really short, I loved Bumble & Bumble styling creme.

    • AnonInfinity

      I love my pixie cut!

      First, I blast my hair with a dryer for approximately 1 minute. By the end of that minute, it is basically dry.

      I have some styling putty stuff. It’s not hard like a wax but not completely liquid like a gel. I get a little less than a dime-sized about on my palm, rub my hands together to liquify it, then just comb it through my hair with my fingers. There’s always a little left on my hands, so I use that to style the front part. It holds pretty well, but it’s definitely not crunchy or wet-looking. I am not loyal to a brand — I just get whatever my hairdresser feels like giving me each time I run out.

      Enjoy it! I’m growing mine out right now because I’ve had it for so long I thought it was time for a change. Feeling very wistful, though.

    • Another S

      I use the following from Bumble and bumble:
      grooming creme (less hold)
      styling creme (some hold, it’s like a creamy gel)
      texture creme (slightly more hold, it’s like part gel, part cream, part wax)
      styling wax (more hold, but still allows movement depending on how much you use)

      Of course, YMMV. I have fine hair that frizzes easily so I like my products to provide a decent amount of hold because that’s the best way I know to keep my hair from getting too frizzy. You on the other hand might be lucky enough that you don’t have to constantly worry about frizz!

    • DC anonymous

      Short hair is so hard to style! All that stuff about it being lower maintenance… lies, all lies.

      When my hair was super short last summer, my favorite products were Aveda Phomollient and Aveda Light Elements Defining Whip. Neither of them will give you Callista Gingrich-esque helmet hair (or a faux hawk, for that matter!). I usually used the former when I wanted to look more polished and the latter when I wanted a slightly edgier or more tousled look (ie, weekends), but they both have decent hold and aren’t too heavy or stiff.

      • Hel-lo

        I also love Aveda Phomollient. It’s a light mousse. My wavy hair loves it.

    • MD/DC observer

      No advice for short hair products except to get a good haircut that plays to your hair’s strengths, then enjoy your simplified routine. (I follow my mom’s example of wash, comb, and go. No hair dryer unless it’s a zillion degrees below zero.) Oh, and be quietly proud that you did a good deed.

    • eek

      :) for Locks for Love

      I saw Hunger Games on Saturday and all I was able to think about for the rest of Saturday and on Sunday was that I wanted a Katniss braid. But I need someone to do it. I’m ok with people getting behind the Katniss braid look; Kate Gosselin — not.so.much.

      • TCFKAG

        When she asked me what I wanted to look like, I said I wanted more Michelle Williams and Gennifer Goodwin. But for gods sake to NOT MAKE ME LOOK LIKE Kate Gosselin. That was goal numero uno.

        She laughed and said, no problem. My hairdresser is awesome.

    • AP

      Well, this is more for texture than hold, but the only product I really used (after buying & trying several different ones) when I had a pixie cut was Bumble & Bumble sumotech (not sumowax). I have thick, coarse, straight hair, but this was also the go-to product for my friend who has fine, thin hair. I think it provided more hold for her, since my hair has strong opinions on what it wants to do and probably only strong hairspray would hold it in place. I used it in the same way AnonInfinity described.

    • erin

      youre out there girl, embrace it! link a blog (or get a blog and then link it) havent had a pixie but yay for locks of love. did it a few years ago and had so much hair it wasn’t a pixie when they cut it, more like a bob. (and that did not go well)

      • TCFKAG

        I could have had a bob if I wanted, but hair at my jawline is a bad, bad idea (not a good area of my face to emphasize) — that’s why I went full on pixie. I’d start a blog…but I have no internal creativity of my own. Like seriously, I’m an extremely boring person.

    • Pest

      I just have a question about your comment about not wanting to out yourself. Is that because you know a lot of your friends and colleagues read this blog? A lot of people who post here worry about being outed, and I often wonder why, because we are all anonymous. I wonder the same thing when people say they are “Anon for this” for particular comments they make on personal subjects. Does anyone here actually know who anyone is in real life?

      • boat shoes

        I’ve put together who someone was before. I think people forget how much they put out there. A few times people have been like “you have such a great memory!” when a commenter says something like “if I remember correctly, you were the one in boston having bf trouble right?” Back in the days of shaina she said something like, “its not like you know anything about me” and like 10 people could list tons of things about her. So when you use the same name all the time, I think people start to be really recognizable, which isnt a big deal when you are talking about fashion, but can be when you are talking about work or personal stuff

        • Pest

          Yes, we can match up what people write about themselves with their handles, but that doesn’t mean we know who they are in real life.

          Meetups are another matter. I missed the one several months ago in DC. I’m just curious, when you go to the meetups do you tell each other what your handles are or do you just introduce yourselves as readers of the blog?

        • January

          Well, I can’t speak for boat shoes, but there are a couple of regular posters here that I have put together are acquaintances of mine in real life (or if they’re not, they are leading parallel lives). I don’t want to name names to protect their anonymity (and mine!). So I try to remind myself that if I can figure out who someone is based on their posts, there’s a pretty good chance they could do the same to me.

      • Monday

        There have been a lot of meetups over the last few months, so probably yes. The Boston group seems to get together pretty often (jealous!) and so many of these ladies probably know each other.

        Other than that, I think people are wary of coworkers who may also read this site. I know I heard about it originally from a colleague.

      • TCFKAG

        Well, there are currently probably about 20 people who actually know who I am by my moniker because of the Boston meet-up and because I’ve developed a couple pen pal relationships with people on here outside the threads. But, I also am completely confident people I know read this. I was once on an elevator at a networking event (with someone I met at a meet up) and two strangers were talking about blogs they like and one was like “Well, my favorite is Corporette”. Plus there was the whole sparkly blazer girl is awesome amazingness. So its a small world.

      • TCFKAG

        GRARRR…moderation for using the name of this site.

        Well, there are currently probably about 20 people who actually know who I am by my moniker because of the Boston meet-up and because I’ve developed a couple pen pal relationships with people on here outside the threads. But, I also am completely confident people I know read this. I was once on an elevator at a networking event (with someone I met at a meet up) and two strangers were talking about blogs they like and one was like “Well, my favorite is [name of this site]”. Plus there was the whole sparkly blazer girl is awesome amazingness. So its a small world.

        But, honestly I don’t care if people I know IRL figured out who I am, I don’t say anything on here that I would be embarrassed about (I hope). I think the first commandment of the Internet is to assume nothing is anonymous.

      • Herbie

        I know who at least two commenters are IRL– Kanye East because I’ve bought stuff from her (and now she should know who I am, hello!) and another commenter I won’t identify with whom I used to work. I’ve occasionally had suspicions about one particular law school classmate that I believe to be a commenter.

        I try to be somewhat cautious about what I let slip about myself because, well, you never know who else is reading. It’s one of the reasons I’m okay sharing some personal stuff (like trials and tribulations with my, ah, eccentric father) but generally shy away from catty stuff like, “OMG, can’t believe what this woman in my office is wearing!”

    • Kontraktor

      I chopped about 8 inches off in October and cut my hair to a long pixie. I would die without Bumble and Bumble Sumotech putty. It’s about $30 a jar, but really I would die without it (my hair looks horrific with no product, but just this product is enough to make it look good). It also lasts almost 2 months, even though I use it copiously every day.

      I’m growing my cut out, but it’s still short and my styling hair routine is: spray wet hair with Bumble and Bumble Tonic Lotion spray. Put in volumizing mousse (I use a John Frieda version but don’t particularly like it all that much/I don’t think the mousse brand makes a difference). Blow dry with flip in back. Define front/bang area with Bumble and Bumble Sumotech putty. Take a bigger glob of putty and run it through back of hair to make it flipped up/spikey/piecey in the back. Spray bujeezuz out of hair with an alcohol-based hairspray (I use a Tresseme humidity control variety that I like, but any alcohol-based product will do. A product with H2O as the first ingredient may not hold well enough).

      This may be product overkill for your hair or style, but I have.. super weird, thick but fine, kind of textured wavy (sort of) hair that looks disgusting/nasty/dead wet rat when it air dries. I’m also trying to grow out, so I need more hold on the odd-length pieces. However, I actually get frequent compliments from strangers on this hair style (was never complimented on my old, long hair), so don’t be afraid to use tons of product if you need it.

  19. a-non

    Advice please!

    I went in for an interview for one position and they mentioned another position would be posted soon that I would be a good fit for. They asked me to look for it and when I did, I let them know it wasn’t posted yet. Found out it should have been posted yesterday. I don’t want to bug the people I met with – is it fair to send my follow up materials to HR and say by the way do you have said description? Is that tacky?

    • AnonInfinity

      I don’t think it’s tacky at all. From what I understand, your interviewers told you that it should have been posted yesterday? Did they say why it hadn’t been?

      If that’s how it went down, I would call or e-mail HR and say something like, “[Interviewer] let me know about a position that she believes was posted yesterday, but I can’t find it on your website. Can you forward me the job description and application instructions [if you think there might be some]?”

    • Bluejay

      Just wait. It was supposed to be posted yesterday? If it’s not posted in a week or so then follow up with HR, but don’t bug the interviewers.

    • momentsofabsurdity

      I don’t think it’s tacky at all to send a message to HR that says,

      “Thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to meet with So and So. We had a great conversation and I look forward to speaking with her further. I am attaching X, Y and Z follow up materials for your review. Please let me know if you have any questions on these materials, or if there is anything additional I could provide.

      Additionally, So and So felt I was a good fit for DEF position and encouraged me to apply. Are there details available for that position that you could send me?”

    • K in... Transition

      I’d say that, in this economy, it can’t hurt, especially when you can preface the email by explaining that the interviewer recommended you speak with them regarding the specific unposted position. You may be able to get in on it before it’s posted and before they’re inundated with resumes.

      That said, I have no clue whether that’s politically correct or whatnot, it’s just what I’d do :)

  20. @ No Booze

    I’m wondering how our sister ‘rette who had stopped drinking in the evenings is doing? We haven’t heard from you in a few days. Hope all is well.

    • Moonstone

      I was wondering, too. Hope all is well, Miss L or Miss 1. (I could not read the character on my screen.) Baby steps, baby.

  21. Tired Squared

    Threadjack — exercise/weight loss question.

    Since the bar exam, I’ve been eating more carefully and exercising regularly — at least 6 days a week. I’ve been mixing up cardio and weights/strength exercises. I’m not overweight (could probably stand to lose 5-15 pounds) but I’m planning to run a couple of races later this year, so I’m getting back into shape for that. Yet while my endurance seems to be increasing (I get out of breath slower) and I can see less “bulges” where I know I had them before, the number on the scale has only changed by 4-5 pounds.

    Is this normal? I’m a little frustrated!

    • momentsofabsurdity

      Totally normal. Possible that you’re building muscle by simultaneously losing fat. Don’t worry! Don’t focus on the number, just focus on how you feel and fit into your clothes.

    • I am a banana.

      Use a measuring tape instead of a scale. You’ll see a difference. Also if you have the ability to measure your body fat percentage you will probably see it dropping. Congrats on keeping up that routine!

    • TCFKAG

      Absolutely normal. You’re building muscle while probably burning fat, displacing a denser/leaner substance with a fattier (literally) one. So while you will look leaner and less “bulgy” you may not necessarily lose the weight because muscle just takes up less space. That’s why most dietitians focus not only on weight loss but also on waist measurements.

      • TCFKAG

        In my first sentence, reverse the two — you are displacing the fattier substance with a denser, leaner one. Obviously. My first way makes no sense.

    • EC MD

      A couple of thoughts

      1) You could be adding muscle as you lose fat, therefore not having a big weight loss.

      2) How much are you changing your eating habits? I used to try to increase my exercise in order to lose weight, but the stark truth is that food intake is about 80% of the weight loss equation and if you really want to move the scale.

      • Tired Squared

        Thanks for all of your responses, ladies! I definitely feel much better these days, but while I was getting frustrated with the scale, I never even thought of the tape measure.

        EC MD: I’ve replaced my beloved soda with water, and replaced chips/dessert with raw fruits and veggies, and I’m trying to add in a bit more protein. Altogether I’m eating between 1500-1800 calories a day now, compared to 2000-2500 while studying.

    • CA Atty

      100% normal. Especially if you don’t have a lot of flab to lose, you’re going to be building muscle and not seeing the immediate effect that, for instance, someone who weighs 350 will see just by starting to walk around the block.

      Also (check this out, a plug 2 days in a row!) a good way to track is the SparkPeople website where we have a group called Sparkers who enjoy (the name of this website). SparkPeople helps you track your food and portion sizes, and recommends exercises, plus they just have a huge database of articles and information on workouts, different foods and recipes, etc…

      My example of the 350lb woman is actually from a success story I read this morning, a 372lb woman who has lost 165lbs so far!

    • Sutemi

      Generally when I workout I have about 2-3 lbs more water weight than when I do not. If you are working out 6 days a week then you might have some water weight. Muscles hold onto more weight when they repair themselves after exercise then when they are not used.

  22. SoCal Gator

    I like seersucker. I recently got that navy tipped blazer from Boden when it finally went on sale. It’s seersucker with navy trim at the lapels. Love it! I got so many compliments when I wore it to work. It’s still available in most sizes for $98.

  23. Skin issues!

    hi all! i though i’d toss this question out there, since this group always has a wealth of info.

    has anyone had experience with small red bumps around the nose and/or mouth? they are tiny but noticeable and itch. Googling has led me to believe that it could be Perioral Dermatis and while it seems to be quite common, there is not a lot of info on how to treat it. Any info on what i should do?

    • M-C

      Skin issues should really be shown to a dermatologist, or at least a medical person. They’d be iffy with pictures, but they’re really impossible with text :-). And you’re asking mostly a bunch of lawyers here, so it’s not really the right crowd..

  24. Emotional today

    I guess I just need to vent and get some advice on how to handle what is turning out to be very stressful…(sorry, warning, pregnancy related TJ)…I’m 35 weeks pregnant and about two weeks away from a huge project deadline. I head the team that has been working on this client project for the past 5 months and it culminates in two weeks. We’ve been working late nights, weekends, countless meetings, etc. and my body finally woke up yesterday and realized it just can’t take it any more. I feel exhausted and drained..and the worst part is when my boss asked me this morning how I was doing quite casually, I JUST STARTED CRYING. Just teared up for no reason.

    I asked him for a few minutes, he graciously left my office and we postponed our meeting. We have a very good relationship so I don’t think I lost any credibility but I am so disappointed in myself. I never cry at work and pride myself on keeping my personal issues and work life separate, but as stereotypical as it sounds, I just never expected pregnancy to affect my self-control and discipline in this way. I called him later and we talked about moving some of my meetings around to give me more time to finish this project, but still I can’t help feel 1) I’ve let myself down by not being to handle work and life, and 2) I’m taking the easy way out by shifting some of my work to others. Is this normal? Am I being silly?

    • S

      You’ve essentially been working three jobs for the last five months– your normal job x2 due to the big project and building a human. It is no wonder you started crying. It was not a sign of weakness at all, just a normal human response to fatigue and stress. Don’t be so hard on yourself!

      • CKB

        ITA – especially about the fatigue. Growing a human takes a TON of energy- way more than you think it does, and if you are like me when I was at that point in my pregnancy – you aren’t getting alot of sleep at night. I was always amazed at how I got MORE sleep after the baby was born than I did in the last weeks of my pregnancy(and my boys weren’t spectacular sleepers, but they would go 3 to 4 hours between feedings at night once they were a couple of weeks old). I was just so uncomfortable, and having to pee every 2 hours was awful too. I think it’s nature’s way of preparing you for new mommy-hood.

    • Merabella

      Girl you gotta give yourself a break! Don’t be so harsh on yourself, you are dealing with a major change and have also been pushing yourself hard. Take time to take care of yourself and get enough sleep and healthy food, and don’t beat yourself up for this slip up. I haven’t been pregnant, but I can imagine it takes its toll, and you may not be able to maintain your previous schedule right now, and that is OK.

    • Diana Barry

      Not silly at all. You can only take so much!!!

      Also, if you are too stressed out, it can cause you to deliver early (this happened to me, mega stress but no other cause). Please take care of yourself and try to take some naps before you deliver!

      Hang in there.

    • PharmaGirl

      Cut yourself a break! Take some time to relax and recharge before you end up on bed rest or, worse, go into labor from the stress.

    • EC MD

      Not silly. Totally normal. Cut yourself a ton of slack.

      When I was a surgery resident and pregnant I came to the stunning conclusion that I actually had limits. As a type A person I had always been able to conquer any issue with just working harder, digging deeper and doing more. Pregnant (and REALLY pregnant my I point out) You have limits. You are growing another person. Who is like 5 lbs now. And you are working a crazy stressful job. I remember doing operations all night and between cases having to lay down and drink water. It was embarrassing to me, to have my boss find me laying on a couch, but it was the best I could do.

      My only advice? Figure out what absolutely needs to get done (which may still be a long list) and chuck everything else. You probably are a stiff-upper-lip person who wouldn’t dream of using your pregnancy to get out of work, etc. But now is the time to think carefully about resource allocation, cause yours are absolutely limited.

      Been there. Wish I’d been more gentle to myself.

    • Anonymous

      I think you are both burned out AND your hormones are kicking in, bigtime. Before my second child was born, in the last month I could have cried at anything. Literally. I cried at Jennifer Aniston movies, burnt popcorn, and pedicures. I am not kidding.

      I think you need a day off, if you can get one. GL!

    • Hel-lo

      You didn’t cry “for no reason.” You cried because you are extraordinarily stressed out. You may be doing it to yourself.

      Take a break. The project will go on without you.

      You don’t want to bring your little human into a world of you being crazy stressed out… especially if it’s about something other than the baby itself.

    • JJ

      Agree with everyone saying that you didn’t cry for no reason. A few months ago, I was 35 weeks and prepping for a huge trial. I wasn’t sleeping at night and dealing with horrible stress all day. I ended up in pre-term labor from the stress and was on bed rest until I was 37 weeks (full term). It was a stunning realization that I had limits now and could not consider only my well-being.

      I felt horribly guilty at first for shifting work to other people and felt like I was letting every one down, but my coworkers were amazingly supportive and understanding. And, when you think about it, you’re most likely giving *all* of your work up in roughly five weeks, so this is just slightly ahead of schedule. Good luck!

    • A

      You are not being silly! You are being pushed to your limits, physically and emotionally. I’ve always had the same attitude as you and thought I could push through just about anything. I think there is something to be said about being gentle to yourself. Women (including me) tend to try to act like being pregnant does not change anything and they can handle everything as if they are not pregnant. But ultimately, that’s just not true. Women should feel like they can cut themselves a little slack when pregnant and growing another human being without completely losing credibility. not sure how to actually achieve that in the workplace, but you should start by recognizing that you have limits and don’t feel bad about taking up any offers to delegate and shift some work to others. Like a pp, the stress I endured led to pre-term labor and bedrest from 34 weeks on.

      • Ruby

        agree with all of this. i’m 34 weeks, difficult pregnancy, busy busy job. cry all the time at home/in car. never ever cry normally. almost did in front of boss few weeks ago- left fast. i did meet with him to figure out some things to delegate now not just after baby born- has helped a LOT- and aside from slowing down am telecommuting half the days usually am. even so it is exhausting but i’ve stopped the 12+ hr days, just can’t do it. my days are still really hard though. and this week i prepped and interviewed for an internal promotional position- that was difficult though hopefully worth it in long run. good luck, this is hard!! i really hate the women who keep saying to me all over town “sleep now! enjoy it while it lasts! “because for me it’s the opposite- i am not hardly sleeping, i’m in pain, i am working, none of this is practice for later, it is real challenge and struggle and real sleep deprivation. at least when baby’s here I will be off work and can sleep between feedings and not be in work clothes driving to office and being there uncomfortably. anyway- i hear you and can relate. try to work out some limits although it feels embarassing. i don’t like the way it feels, but have no choice- doing the max i can. as hard as it is, i want my job and would be bored stiff watching tv all day- just too bad it’s all so hard in combination.

    • Emotional today

      Thank you all so much for the support and encouraging words – you’re all right, this was basically my wake-up call to slow down, acknowledge the toll on myself both physically and emotionally, and be more gentle on myself. I’m going to try and delegate more and take some time off as I’m scared enough about potentially harming the baby.

      Ruby, hang in there – I know it’s so hard. Those same women tell me pregnancy is the best time of a woman’s life and to enjoy it, which is so frustrating and ridiculous to hear when I’ve had every pregnancy side effect known to man on top of work and other life issues and look and feel like a hot mess of hormones and acne and cramps.

      • Ruby

        You too:) This week has been better for me than last. Also been hit with all the symptoms and more… this too shall pass. But to all the people with easy pregnancies- I am happy for them, honestly so glad this is the norm- it is just amazing how little understanding there is of the wide variety of experiences out there. Agree, so sick of hearing those kind of comments. I feel as if I’ve had appendicitis, IBS, the flu, and a multitude of other things for 8 months straight.

    • shortiek

      maybe it’s because I’m a weird size and cheap, but I’m quite fond of Land’s End clothing/bathing suits. (although the two button up shirts I have are terrible.)

  26. Bonnie

    For those looking for a great work bag, this Cole Haan tote is 50% off during midday dash: http://www.neimanmarcus.com/product.jsp;jsessionid=CD20C97C4D7BDAC61F7D6A667A1C7665?isEditorial=false&index=33&masterId=cat8900735&itemId=prod132770020&cmCat=cat000000cat8900735cat21000740&parentId=cat21000740

    And if anyone is looking for a wedding dress, this Michael Kors gown is GORGEOUS: http://www.neimanmarcus.com/product.jsp;jsessionid=CD20C97C4D7BDAC61F7D6A667A1C7665?isEditorial=false&index=4&masterId=cat8900735&itemId=prod145820049&cmCat=cat000000cat8900735cat21000740&parentId=cat21000740

  27. Bonnie

    Ugh. Stuck in moderation. Today’s Neiman Marcus midday dash has a great basic Cole Haan tote and a beautiful wedding gown both at 50% off.

  28. Holly

    Love the jacket but I never know what color to wearon the bottom of seersucker. Navy seems to dark and white to fussy for my office (it gets dirty and smuged easily and finding white washable dress pants impossible. Any suggestions?

    • Ru

      OMG I CAN’T STOP MYSELF FROM ANSWERING THIS QUESTION. Gray, blue (not navy, BLUE), turquoise, pink and it’s whole family (mauve, berries, etc). Purples? Purples work. Basically, any color of the Skirt, whether it’s from Nordstrom or JCPenney. Also, denim and seersucker look MADD CUTE together. And of course, tan and the beige family.

      • Ru

        Also, printed/patterned skirts/dresses. Florals or houndstooth or windowpane or whatever. How adorable would a gray sheath with white and light blue flowers look with a seersucker jacket? REALLY CUTE.

        • Jules

          Ru, these suggestions are awesoem. Can I just say that I want you for my stylist? And TCFKAG for my personal shopper?

          • Jules

            The suggestions were so awesome they impaired my ability to type the word awesome.

          • TCFKAG

            Indeed. Especially if you live somewhere nice. Do you live somewhere nice that I could come visit? ;-P

          • Jules

            Sorry, boring Midwest small city – the nearest Nordstrom is 50 miles away, clearly we are barely civilized. Maybe you and Ru can team up for an internet business? You both have a ready-made fan base among the ‘rettes.

  29. for PollyD

    PollyD, this is just to say that I’m glad you enjoyed Garces Trading Company so much–my boyfriend is the retail manager and the cherry-fig marmalade is his recipe. (We’ve actually been kicking around ideas for their next seasonal condiment, so stay tuned.) It’s fun for me to see that called out in this forum, so I figured you might get a kick out of knowing how far the ‘rette network reaches!

    • Scully

      Ooh, tell him there’s another big cherry-fig marmalade fan out there! Garces Trading Company is one of my favorite restaurants/wine shops.

      • OP

        I’m pretty sure my mother’s good opinion of him was cemented when he made cherry-fig marmalade at her holiday party a few years ago. He’s totally getting a kick out of the GTC love, so thanks!

  30. BluSky

    How often does JCrew have sales? I have a few things in my cart but not sure I should pull the trigger..

    • elz

      J Crew has sales ALL the time. Get on their mailing list. It seems to be every week, with site-wide discounts every other week. It was just 20% off last week …or the week before. J Crew Afficionada will also post deals as they come up.

      • Supra

        They have sales all the time on already discounted merchandise, but usually its final sale, which is a hassle if you’ve not tried the clothing on, or at least seen it prior.

        Their regular priced merchandise seems to get marked down quickly, but as soon as its marked down, its final sale (see above). They haven’t had a regular price promo in a while now.

  31. A

    Is there a “rule” about wearing seersucker before Memorial Day/after Labor Day? I’m assuming this would be a regional thing but I haven’t spotted my first seersucker of the season in DC yet.

    • AnonInfinity

      My granny would say yes. It’s a bit of a preppy/old fashioned (in a good way!) look, so I would feel a bit odd wearing it before Memorial Day, even though it’s been unseasonably warm here.

  32. Coach Laura

    Nice pick, Kat.

    Bummed that not only is the largest size an 8 but that it doesn’t come in Petite! I wish BB (and a whole lot of other retailers) would increase their Petite options!

  33. Hello Jodi

    Oh, I have a vintage seersucker dress/jacket combo that I just LOVE! It’s currently at the seamstress but I hope to wear the heck out of it when I get it back.

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