Suit of the Week: TWP

53 Comments

1. Help! I live alone and I am SO TIRED OF cooking for myself, meal prepping and failing at it! Let me count the ways in which I am terrible at this:

   I consistently have too much or not enough of whatever I need.
   I buy fruits and vegetables with the best of intentions, only to find I don’t get through them fast enough OR I have more than I can eat OR they get moldy.
   I rarely eat meat, but when I do try to cook it, I feel like it never turns out well and grosses me out, especially as leftovers.
   I have the best intentions of eating fruits and vegetables as snacks, but I get so bored with them.
   No matter what I buy and plan for, nothing seems appetizing once I get it home.
   Some days work and relationships take up all my mental load and I just do not have the bandwidth to give dinner a lot of thought.

   I don’t mind cooking but I am not realistically going to cook 7 dinners a week, nor do I want to. For some reason I am in a really bad place with this. Any advice!? I am so frustrated with myself.

   1. I’m with you. Can you make sure you are eating healthy for breakfast and lunch so that dinner is just something easy or light? I robotically throw a plain yogurt into my bag with a container of berries every morning so I ensure a healthy breakfast. I make myself a salad with chickpeas (yay Trader Joe’s cumin chickpeas) cherry tomatoes, cut up avocado and feta, or some other salad every day for lunch with a snack or two. Then when I come home, if I feel like eating crackers and cheese, or something premade, I can do it without the guilt. I’d add that Trader Joe’s has a lot of decent stuff to help with shortcuts.

   2. What’s the alternative? Eating out, hitting up the Whole Foods salad bar, hiring a personal chef, getting delivery … just do these things until your tired of them and ready to eat at home again.

   3. Honest answer, are there any good meal prep services in your area? In my city, we have one store that is entirely targeted towards normal (butter, sugar, fat, etc.) meals, not weight loss or gym rat meals, that are either small portions or tv dinner like options. Sweet spot of more expensive than if I cook, but cheaper than delivery/takeout. That gives me variety to break up the leftover palooza from whatever I cook as I can only really eat the same thing for three meals.

   4. Cook something once a week you love (for me it’s soups) and that are good as leftovers. Stock Trader Joe’s for 3 other nights, takeout one night and go out with friends the other two.

   5. I used to get a takeout dinner on Monday and save half for lunch the next day or day after. Or get a restaurant meal for lunch and just have a light dinner at home that night. I was fed, but not cooking more than 1-2 times a week.

      On a weekend, I’d cook and have friends over so I didn’t need to deal with leftovers. 1-2 guys would make sure it was all gone :)

   6. So I really like making foods that can be ‘recycled’ so for example lentil chili can be eaten on its own or on a chili dog, fries, chili mac or as nacho topping. I will always roast extra veggies so they can go in a pasta one night or on a bowl another night. I try and strategically get veggies that work with a lot of cuisines: broccoli for example I can throw in instant ramen with some tofu or it also works as a side dish on its own or in pasta or a stir fry. I like freezing individual jars of stew, chili, curry etc so I don’t have to have the same foods back to back and can skip cooking some days. If you get into a groove you can always have a rotation of things in f
      the freezer and elements in the fridge so you only have to cook from scratch 2-3 times a week.

      You don’t have to eat meat if it grosses you out, I dont!

   7. Do you ever shop at Costco or Trader Joe’s? It’s okay to get some prefab options!

      I’m stuck cooking seven dinners a week because of dietary restrictions, and I would not volunteer for this at all. Can you budget some take out that you pick up after work? I know restaurants are expensive right now, but there usually are some more practical options if you eat any non western cuisines that have a local immigrant community. If you don’t like non western cuisines, see if there’s a Monday or Tuesday special at a place you do like. This can be a palatable hot meal solution for when only a palatable hot meal will do.

      Dinner doesn’t always have to be a hot meal. I’d much rather eat fruits and vegetables as part of a charcuterie cheese board with a nice beverage than “as snacks.”

      If you eat eggs at all, there’s a lot that can be done in the omelet/quiche/frittata family of dishes.

   8. I run a family of 5 and I experience all the same problems you do. My advice? Cook a meal that YOU like, once a week. Get the Paprika app so you can scale recipes down: even with 3 boys sometimes a recipe is just makes too much for all of us. Don’t buy fruit or vegetables you dislike or that you “feel like you should” eat. Try one new thing at a time. I learned to love cooking by mastering ONE meal during the pandemic (it was tacos, btw so nothing exceptional). From there I wanted to branch out. My kids still refuse to eat about half of what I make “curry AGAIN?!!” And that’s fine, because I like it and I’ll eat leftovers. But I don’t plan to have leftovers and I don’t make food that no one wants to eat. Good luck!

      1. Came back to say that it’s not a character flaw to hate cooking. It’s actually really hard to make it worth it for just one person. If you have a good meal kit service that might be an option. I don’t know if that’s cheaper than eating out.

   9. I say this as someone who loves to cook- you’re fine! You’re busy and cooking is a chore that you don’t have time/energy for! You’re doing other things with your life right now!

      I’d suggest taking a long hard look at what you do eat- takeout, girl dinner/snacks, canned soups and frozen casseroles, etc and figure out what is working for you and what isn’t. For example, if you don’t eat the carrots you have to peel, don’t buy them. If you need ranch dip to make veggie sticks appealing, great! On the other hand, if dinner is a pile of crackers or takeout and you feel like crud after eating that, what could you sub in easily?

   10. I could have written this. I also REFUSE to give up my Sundays for meal prep – no way. What’s worked best for me is having decent freezer and pantry options available (I always have pasta and jarred sauce, for example) and being OK with super easy breakfast for dinner options. Berries have been garbage quality in my area this year, so I’m mostly doing frozen at this point and just dealing with the worse texture.

   11. I feel your pain. I try to have a few homemade microwave meals in the freezer. Things like heart soups, black beans and rice, pasta dishes. Pasta isn’t nearly as good after it’s been frozen, but even at that is still better than some of the other quick and easy choices.

       The other thing is meal planning. I don’t necessarily do it to the level of specifying what I will eating for lunch on Thursday, but I do have a certain amount of breakfasts, lunches, and suppers for the week – all of them easy. Sometimes there’s and entry or two that says “just forage” meaning find something in the feeezer, or cheese and crackers and olives (I always have all of these), or buy something.

       Then: Grocery list from the meal plan. Shop the list. Eat the plan. Reduces waste.

   12. I like to make more than I need of curries, soups, pasta sauce, and other things that freeze well and then freeze them in reasonable portions. If you do that weekly, you can build up a freezer stash with variety.

       Also, I like very simple dinners. Toast with cream cheese/hummus and veggies and a hard boiled egg or beans from a can. Good bread sliced and frozen makes it nicer.

   13. I also hate cooking – when I do, I invest the time in making something that freezes well. Like, I will make a lasagna and then cut it up into serving sizes to defrost as needed.

       I also eat a lot of soup and TJ’s Indian pouch things.

       As far as fruit and veg, buy longer-lasting produce to hedge? Like, apples last for weeks.

   14. So don’t cook! I’m in the same boat and I eat a lot of premade stuff from the grocery store, meal delivery kits, takeout, and girl dinners.

   15. I am totally the same except i get to feel guilty as a mom also. When I’m on my own I Lean Cuisine/girl dinner it up. For lunches (I WFM) I do one big cook a year and freeze a million single servings with Souper Cubes for soups, burritos, mac & cheese, etc. just got the big set of Souper Cubes that was on sale at costco! I’ve heard of some people who freeze components also — so you freeze rice and you freeze beans and you freeze meat and you freeze chicken and then you can put it together that day.

       there’s also a FB group called Executive Dysfunction Meals if that’s helpful, lots of easy ideas. but definitely go look up the “girl dinner” meme, it’ll make you feel a lot better.

   16. I don’t like to cook or really even eat meat, so I rarely do. I eat a lot of the same things for breakfast and lunch, which helps me not get overwhelmed with decisions. I have protein coffee (I just mix protein powder into my travel mug of coffee) for breakfast, yogurt and fruit for lunch, and then dinner is often something easy, like eggs and toast, or pasta and pesto with some shredded parm on top, or a quesadilla with whatever veggies need to be used up. I probably rely on cheese too much for protein but it is how I like to eat. I do a snack plate at least once a week with crackers, charcuterie meat if I have any, pickles, olives, etc. I actually do like to cook I am just too tired most nights. But I like to spend Sunday making a big meal and usually invite friends or family over to eat–things like veggie lasagna, curry, soup, etc.

       1. This is basically how I do it as a single person.

          And I always have some Indian frozen dinners from Trader Joe’s in my freezer.

          I only really cook once a week or so. Cycle through very simple meals other nights.

   17. I’m jealous of the people who can subsist on girl dinners. Even if I didn’t have a family to feed, I couldn’t do that more than once a week. Girl dinner = consume 1,000 calories while feeling unsatisfied and hungry.

   18. Stop buying groceries for your fantasy self. No more good intention fruits and veggies.

       It’s time to simplify. Sit down with a pen and piece of paper and answer a few questions:
       Do you have a strong preference for hot meals for dinner, or are you okay with cold meals as well? Are you okay with eating leftovers every other day? Once a week? How’s your freezer and pantry space?

       How much/little time are you realistically (no good intentions!) wanting to use during the week? How many days can you only do a recipe with 5 minute prep, 10 or 25? How often do you need the food to be ready as a five minute microwave meal?

       Write down five meals you have made that you really enjoyed. How do they fit into your preferences? If they don’t fit, can you change it a little? It’s okay to just do these five meals in rotation, 2-3 every week with leftovers.

       Here are some of my super low effort meals:
       Baked feta pasta (yes, the ticketytockety), 5-6 minutes prep/active cooking. Put oven on 200 C. Put a block of feta in an oven proof dish, add some fresh tomatoes (sliced if big), glug of olive oil, pepper, garlic, lemon zest if you have it, dried marjoram and basil. Put the dish in, doesn’t matter if the oven’s still cold. Let it bake for 15-20 minutes while you do something else, then boil some pasta – I make extra to have for leftovers. Mush the feta and tomatoes, add pasta.
       Microwave baked potato with tin of baked beans (heated on the stove) and grated cheese. Prep time 1 minute.
       Tuna wrap. Tin of tuna, small tin of sweetcorn, a little mayo, salt pepper, celery if you have it, in a tortilla wrap. Bonus for some sort of leafy green.
       Sweet potato and black bean taco. Microwave sweet potato. Saute onion and add a tin of black beans, and some cumin, oregano, chili powder and lime juice, cumin on the sweet potato. Maybe a diced tomato. Tortilla, taco shell or grain bowl. Bonus for avocado.
       Oh-no-I-have-too-many-veggies soup. Saute onion, bonus for carrot and celery in nice fat. Add whatever veggie you need to use up, a tin of white beans or cup or red lentils, stock (cube is fine), boil until the veggie is soft. Add one thing for taste – chili for sweet potato, blue cheese for broccoli, pepper for tomato, Parmesan for leek – and some dairy fat. Blend.
       Whatever pizza. Frozen pizza base, some tomato pure or blended tomato, or blended white beans with olive oil, whatever veg and cheeze you have.
       Frittata and omelets.

       To make your low energy days simple, staple pantry and freezer items are gold.
       Staple vegetables: onion, garlic, potatoes, carrot, celery, cauliflower, cabbage, citrus, chili, pumpkins and sweet potato all store well, and you don’t have to worry about them going off. Chili, ginger, aromatics, peas, edamame, broccoli, long beans and spinach are excellent in the freezer.
       Staple fridge: eggs, creme fraiche, halloumi, feta, Greek yougurt, blue cheese and Parmesan store very well. Grated cheese and butter is excellent in the freezer. Tofu can go in the freezer as well, and cooked bacon. Cured meat and sausage is a great fridge staple.
       Tins of tuna, salmon, corn, tomatoes, beans of all kinds, lentils and coconut milk are excellent pantry staples.
       Vermicelli noodles, rice noodles, and pasta shapes (I like lentil pasta) are great for no energy meals. Cooked rice freezes and microwaves excellently – I make a big batch of rice and grain mixes and freeze in portions, quinoa as well.

       You don’t have to eat meat, but if you do want some, minced meat and stewing meat is the easiest to do well, anything where you just need liquid and time. Curries, stews, lasagna, moussaka, Bolognese sauce or cacciatore are excellent for single portion home made frozen meals. Chickpeas, lentils and beans do the same if you’d prefer vegetarian.

   19. I have to buy frozen veggies/fruits because they will mostly go bad otherwise. And I WFH so I’m at home.

       Sheet pan meals are your friend. I break up my proteins but you can also just use canned beans or a nice tinned fish. You can roast a chicken thigh and veggies in about 20 minutes. Or roast veggies, add beans for a bowl. Roast veggies with quinoa or couscous that takes 5-15 minutes to cook. I also will start a pot of boiling water for pasta, add frozen peas or broccoli or some other veggie, let the water come back up and then add the pasta. One pot.

       But also, I did factor meals for a long time when I commuted for the same reasons you listed. It’s just very time consuming to cook for 1 all the time.

2. Has anyone worked through this, perhaps for a parent or relative?

   A is a former SAHM who is divorced from B, who is 62 but still working. B has a high-paying job and decades of work credits. A is new to the workforce (10ish years, but all at very low-paying PT jobs due to childcare, pandemic, etc.). A will claim social security on B’s record, but when can A make her claim? When A is 62? When B files his own claim (ages 62-70)? When B reaches his full retirement age (IIRC that is 67 for someone who is currently 62)? When B becomes 70? A is just 53, but is really just scraping by and any extra funds would make a difference. B has a non-lifting indoor job, so in theory B could work until he is 70.

   I want to say that A has to wait until she is 62.

   And then regardless of when she could claim, are ex-spouse’s benefits varied at all if she waits to claim (the way if I’m single, I’m substantially better off claiming at 70 IF I think I will live a long time (yes))?

   IDK who you even ask about this, but waiting on the phone or going to the local SS office isn’t it.

   1. Ask AI

   2. Once B files, A needs to wait until full retirement age to get the maximum benefit. Rules are different if A is also taking care of a disabled dependent or child under 16.

      1. A needs to wait until A’s full retirement age to claim? What if B is either >=70 or still working then?

         Youngest dependent turns 16 this year.

         1. Google literally answers this in two seconds.

   3. Ask the divorce lawyer.

      1. +1

3. Is anyone familiar with a shop (online only maybe) called Beach Riot? They have some adorable tennis-themed gear but I found them on google today looking for something else and I’m not familiar with them. [And I have a teen who loves this look and she has not mentioned it as a gift source.] This would be for me, so I’m happy to pay for quality (and actually play tennis).

   1. I bought a swimsuit from Nordstrom Rack from that brand. It was a pretty color but not a friendly cut for my body.

4. I’m seeing adults in tall gym socks again. Like adults who look old enough for mortgages. Are any of you doing this IRL?

   1. Are we talking boomers? Because my parents (late 70s) have always worn tall gym socks and I suspect always will. My dad is very amused to hear his white New Balance sneakers are now ‘cool’ as is my mom’s champion warm up jacket from the 90s she’s been wearing….since the 90s.

   2. I saw somewhere that people know you’re over 30 if you’re wearing short socks.

      I have gray hair and a mom pooch, I think they know. So I’m sticking with my short socks.

      1. This, and also a side part.

         1. Side part and ankle socks ftw!

      2. My 22yo fashion forward daughter asked me the other day whether to wear longer or shorter socks with an outfit. I said I felt like I was not in a position to advise her on such an important and age dependent issue.

         1. *snort*

      3. Yep. Works for me. I have no need to embarrass myself with long socks and a middle part when I am so obviously 39 and my short socks and side part have been serving me well for years.

   3. I even wear them with my sandals sometimes

   4. Taller socks started trending a couple of years ago on willowy young adults with coltish legs. As someone who is not in that category and wore the tall socks as a kid, I am sitting this one out.

   5. My brother. But hes had multiple foot surgeries and has chronic foot pain. They cover surgery scars and easier barrier between skin and ice packs and foot braces through out the day.

5. Has anyone had a coronary artery calcium scan?

   1. Yes. It was extremely quick and easy. Do it!

   2. I think I have? I can’t remember if that is what it is called, but I had a CT scan to check of there was any calcium or plaque in my heart/arteries. My doctor recommended it because I have high cholesterol due to hypothyroidism and we were trying to decide if I should go on cholesterol medication.

      1. If your TSH is higher within range, I’ve had success lowering cholesterol just by upping thyroid dose so my TSH is lower within range vs. higher. Maybe that is super obvious and the first thing most doctors try, but for me it only happened when I switched doctors and the new one wasn’t happy with my numbers.

   3. Yes, it was nice and easy. It wasn’t covered by my insurance, but was under $150 in my city.

   4. You should only get it if you have a clear clinical question you are trying to answer. But it is easy and no big deal to get.

      My brother just had one to help decide if he needed to transition to high dose statin. He is a solid muscle / lean very healthy 50 year old. He has very mild and well controlled hypertension and high cholesterol (sometimes you can’t fight genetics), which increases his cardiovascular risk. He had a carotid artery ultrasound, that was recommended for screening because of his risk factors, which found some plaque in his carotid arteries. As a result, they decided to do the cardiac scan to see if the calcification/plaque buildup is more widespread. If so there is evidence he should be on high dose statin (and goal LDL < 70) instead of his low dose.

      See what I mean, about having a question to answer?

   5. Yes, it was quick and easy. However, be prepared that it may result in incidental findings. Both my husband and I had to do follow up testing for things unrelated to the calcium score that came up in the scan. My husband’s scan found a small (ultimately benign) nodule on his lung, and I had to go back in for a chest CT with contrast for some areas in my lung that showed something that they couldn’t make out well. I had a zero calcium score, but now I’m waiting for my additional follow up results.

6. This is sort of where I fall: https://aftermath.site/ai-resistance-tips-workforce-llm-workers/

   No one is paying my rate for me to check AI on anything in consequence. It’s fine for restaurant or travel recommendations for a work trip.

7. I own this blazer and ended up sizing down for fit. It is gorgeous and really interesting. I think it will get a lot of use!

8. I was just in Nashville at a corporate office and I was really interested in the differences between women’s fashion in Nashville and in the Bay Area, where I work in a tech-adjacent field. Nashville: color, prints. Ankle pants and flowy blouses. Dresses and blazers. Basic degree of formality was what I think of as higher-end business casual – no jeans and sneakers, some women in suits. Everyone looked great and definitely looked more “done.”

   Bay Area Tech: SO MANY JEANS. Neutral colors only. Wide leg pants, boxy blazers – the whole look is much more casual. And sneakers everywhere. Everyone also looks great but the vibe is so different.

   What are you seeing in your geography?

   1. Im in the Bay Area. Fashion here is pretty anti-fashion, really. It’s jeans plus sneaks, jeans plus chunky shoes, JEANSJEANSJEANS. If you see someone rocking a fantastic outfit, it’s honestly head-turning because it’s so rare.

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