Coffee Break: Ramona Knee-High Boot

63 Comments

1. I saw someone yesterday with a reMarkable tablet (will post link in comment), and I thought that might just change my life. Does anyone use something like this, and can comment on its usefulness?

   1. https://remarkable.com/store/remarkable-2

   2. One of my husband’s coworkers was raving about this the other day. He absolutely loves it.

      Kindle Scribe is always well reviewed so I kind of want to compare them in person before committing.

   3. I am a lawyer and very intrigued. Co-counsel in one of my cases use these. One had it and the other got one and they both love them and recommend them. Everyone else in the case always oohs and aaahs when they come out.

   4. Oh!! I saw someone with this at a conference. It really did look cool! You can always do it in an iPad with Good Notes and a special paper-like writing screen of course, too.

      1. But you have to move your files from dropbox to the goodnotes and I find that a bit cumbersome. I think, but I am not sure, that all of the documents in remarkable are just ready to go for scribbling!

         1. Bottom line: whether your files are paper or electronic, you must organize them or you will never find anything. Plus, if your files are electronic, you also have to scrupulously name them.

      2. I used to use an iPad with the pen/stylus and take notes on pdfs (like meeting agendas) with the pen. Then my plan was to email the marked up document to myself.

         The marked up pdfs are incredibly large! They ran me out of storage really quickly.

         I went back to paper.

   5. I have one and LOVE IT. I’m a lobbyist and I have files for each client so I can easily go back through notes and I also use it to read and annotate PDFs, saving me from having to print. I can access my notes on my phone or desktop. I much prefer hand writing notes but just had stacks of paper notebooks and often felt like I didn’t have the right one for a given call or meeting. The only downside is that it’s another thing to charge but that’s not huge. I highly recommend!

   6. I bought one for my husband for Christmas and he’s obsessed with it. He constantly gets questions/compliments about it.

   7. Our estate planning attorney uses one and it seems really helpful! He said he can handwrite notes and then upload in typed format to the electronic file.

   8. My friend and former boss has had one since their Kickstarter days and absolutely loves it.

2. My wife calf brown boots just completely but the dust so… I will be reporting back on these boots.

   1. I have yet to find a wide calf boot that is actually wide enough for my calves :(

      1. have you tried DuoBoots? that’s the name i keep hearing for wide calves…

      2. Wardrobe Oxygen has done posts about wide calf boots and shoes for wide feet.

         1. I have narrow feet and wide calves – my calves are really muscular.

3. I recently started supervising someone who is not excited about being managed by me and generally thinks she is smarter than everyone else. Any advice or been there/done that lessons learned?

   1. -Don’t be stingy about recognition when she does something good.
      -Don’t say you’ll look for opportunities for her and then fail to.
      -Don’t hide from her information that she needs to do her job.
      -If you have to say something difficult to her, try not to yell when you do it or make ad hominem attacks.

      Ask me how I know.

   2. it sounds like you and she didn’t hit it off… i’d try to keep things as professional as possible. be concise, detached, but set very clear expectations. put things in writing wherever possible. hopefully she’ll learn!

   3. You’re not entitled to her excitement and don’t focus on amorphous judgment like ‘she thinks she’s smarter than everyone else.’ If there’s something concrete she does that needs to be addressed, address it with her or manage it, but don’t allow a generalized sense of distaste affect your ability to be a good manager. It sounds like you are not excited to be managing her, which is the biggest problem and is something you need to be aware of, as to not allow it to inhibit another woman’s growth or ability to succeed in her role.

      1. +1. Also don’t let one or two comments from this employee cloud your whole judgment. Unless she consistently, regularly denigrates others and takes the credit for everything (which most women don’t do because they’re so punished for taking credit for their own success), she probably doesn’t actually think she’s smarter than everyone else.

      2. Agree, this sounds like a bias problem. OP needs to examine her prejudices so that everyone can do a good job here. A bright and motivated new staff member is a good thing.

   4. Is she actually smarter than everyone else? High performer with an attitude problem is a different management challenge than a low performer with an attitude problem.

      1. Smarter than everyone else also doesn’t = good at her job. She could be both, neither, or only one of the two.

      2. Agree with this.

      3. +1

   5. It may help to recognize that it is challenging to be on either side of this dynamic.

   6. Let her know that you are there to support her and not micromanage her.

      1. And then don’t actually micromanage her.

   7. I love that this entire response chain is people not believing you as the manager and automatically supporting the employee (eyeroll).

      1. I think a lot of us here have been (incorrectly) described as “thinks she’s smarter than everyone else” at some point in the past so we identify with that.

      2. I know! It’s very weird.

         1. I don’t think so. It’s a thing people have said forever about smart, ambitious women. It’s a tired put-down based in misogyny.

            1. That’s weird. Literally every person I have ever described as thinking they are the smartest person in the room is a man.

      3. I mean, having reported almost exclusively to people who aren’t as smart as me/as good as I am at what I do (consistent feedback in their words at the end of our relationships), it’s a real issue.

   8. I think there’s a few factors that influence my advice. Why is she unhappy to be reporting to you? Were you peers and now you’re her boss? Does she think she should’ve gotten the promotion or job you’re in? If so, that’s quite different than someone who got re-orged and is now generally angry about their role or level, or someone who is early in their career, and has the confidence of youth.

      I had the latter happen, where I was moved into a new org, and one of my direct reports moved with me. They are earlier in their career and have never been through this, so they were frustrated and skeptical about the new responsibilities. They also apparently want to move to an adjacent craft, and the new role is a step further away from the adjacent craft.

      As a manager, this makes me not really want to invest in them at all, but I know that doesn’t serve either of us, so here’s what I’m doing:

      – Offered to make introductions to other people in the org in the adjacent craft and generally encouraged them to make connections in that craft, in case opportunities open up. I’m not going to hunt down folks for you or proactively schedule meetings for you, but if you want to go talk to those folks while getting your work done, I’m happy to support this. They have yet to ask me for any introductions or shared that they’ve met with anyone, and I have zero evidence that they’ve taken any initiative to make in-roads into the new craft.

      – Since they’re early-career, I’ve tried to be explicit about connecting project assignments to skills that transcend the new role and the old role. I’ve also tried to choose projects that keep them in contact with the previous org, in case there’s an opportunity to move back into a role there. Again, I can’t change the goals and deliverables required in this role, and I won’t let you skimp on this work, but if there’s enough projects to keep them close with the previous org, then I can try to make sure they get to work on those assignments. I have yet to see them be proactive about keeping existing relationships, finding new relationships, or being on the lookout for connected projects to keep them up-to-speed on the old org.

      – This person also thinks they’re more senior and have more experience than they do. Again, explicit feedback about where a project fell short, where they could expand to show skills at the next level, and sending examples of similar projects completed by more senior teammates has been helpful. I have limited evidence that this person is consuming the resources that I send or doing any investigation to compare their work to peers or senior teammates.

      I don’t think this person is frustrated about reporting to me, but they are frustrated with their overall work because they want to be doing the work of someone with 10+ years of experience in another craft. I can’t change that attitude, but I can treat this person with the same level of attention and investment as someone who is excited. As long as they get their work done at an acceptable level of quality and with limited complaining/undermining/etc., I don’t really care that much whether they’re outwardly excited about doing this work.

4. Based on yesterday afternoon’s conversation regarding the frequency of intimate relations, has anyone been successful in encouraging their partner to either increase or decrease this frequency? I’d love to hear how it worked out…

   1. Yes. I think for us it’s both I want to increase frequency (although we’re actually on the same page about ideal frequency, just need to make it happen) and also I’d like a bit of a different vibe during relations. He’s very interested in what I want and has been very attentive to what I’ve said I like (and is listening to gardening stories on audible with me). It’s going pretty well I’d say.

      1. Please expand on “gardening stories on audible” because I think I need to know about that.

5. What is your go-to outfit for a flirty night out that involves flat shoes and a warm outfit? I feel like I need some new ideas…

   1. I’m into a long or midcalf tulle skirt with fleece leggings and high (flat) boots underneath, with a sweater and my velvet puffer on top.

      1. That sounds amazing in a Stevie Nicks kind of way.

   2. wideleg black pants, cropped sweater, combat boots

      1. I like this!

   3. I have the perfect suggestion! A ba&sh twist back sweater. I will post the link separately.

      1. Gorgeous sweater!

   4. https://ba-sh.com/us/p/sweater-fill-carbone-3664784676713.html

   5. I wear a sweater I got from BRF – it has a deeper and wider v neck + interesting split sleeves

      https://bananarepublicfactory.gapfactory.com/browse/product.do?pid=8306310010005&locale=en_US#pdp-page-content

      I tend to wear it with straight leg jeans and flats or sneakers since everyone is wearing sneakers now.

      Another thing I do is cut the neck band out of a graphic tee and wear a hoodie over it. It’s more casual but good for like a bar where there’s live music. My husband’s in two bar bands, so I have lots of bar outfits now.

      1. To be clear, hoodie is a zip up hoodie, but I have a couple of slightly elevated sweater jacket kind of things that are hoodies without a zipper.

   6. A sweater dress with fleece tights and either ankle booties or knee-high boots. The sweater dress I have is basically bodycon, but it’s thick, so it doesn’t show every lump. It has a slit in the thigh, which gives it a little flirty vibe, even though my actual thigh is covered by tights for warmth.

      I also seen some sweater dresses with a deep-V neckline for a flirty vibe indoors, and pair it with a scarf for an outdoors activities.

      1. Any suggestions for plus size sweater dresses, leaning more conservative? I do like the previous posters’ ideas of tights or v neck sweaters and jeans with flats.

6. Do you hurt your chances if you apply for more than one different job at an employer? Say, Finance Manager and Program Manager, if you’re qualified for both?

   1. If you’re applying to a couple of reasonably similar jobs, no. If you’re applying to lots of unrelated jobs indiscriminately, then yes.

      1. Yes. I’ve seen candidates dinged for applying to unrelated jobs.

      2. Agree with this. As a prior hiring manager, we were always looking for someone who knew what she wanted.

   2. If you’re well qualified for both, probably not? If you’re not really qualified for one of them, then it can feel like you’re throwing your resume at any job that kinda sorta fits. Although if the jobs are very different I can see them being confused about why you’re applying for such wildly different roles.

      I got my current job by applying for two openings simultaneously, although they were very similar (much close than finance manager and product manager) and I believe they interviewed the exact same pool of people for both. They asked me in the interview which one I preferred.

   3. if they’re reasonably similar no issue at all, if you’re applying to like a dozen, not great.

      I’ve seen people mention in their cover letter that they’ve also applied to roles Y and Z since it was difficult to tell from the role descriptions which would be the best fit for them. I thought it reflected well on them!

   4. I did this. I had applied a few months prior to a FT job, never heard back, the saw a PT job in the same org for a different department. I was well qualified for both. My 2nd application got the attention of a VP, who made sure to give me interviews for both, but really wanted me for the 1st one. Turns out the screener in HR was crushing hard on another applicant who wasn’t qualified and wasn’t going to get the job. Found all that out a year later at an event when boss realized knew the applicant, and by then the HR screener admitted it to me. Point is, it might be what gets their attention. As a hiring manager, it’s also made a positive impression if we think you really want to work at our company. As long as it looks deliberate and not like you’re not randomly applying.

7. what are the most basic fidelity mutual funds? i mostly know vanguard

   1. ITOT is the Fidelity version of VTI

8. Any ‘Rettes voting in NH today?

   1. What an embarrassment

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