Corporette.com

Updated: Jan 21, 2024 355 Comments · by

Wednesday’s Workwear Report: Coralee Puff-Sleeve Button-Front Top

The Personal Shopper (TPS) |

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

A woman wearing a brown half button top and denim jeans

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

I’m seeing a lot of this color this season, and whether you’re calling it ochre, acorn, or burnt sienna, I’m loving it.

This top from Veronica Beard would look great paired with black or navy trousers this winter or tucked into a midi skirt this spring. For the weekend, I would wear it with some bootcut or slightly flared jeans, thus perfectly replicating an outfit I’m pretty sure I wore and loved 25 years ago.

The top is $198 at Neiman Marcus and comes in sizes XS–XL.

While they are more casual styles, this henley (online only) from Target's Future Collective line has a wide size range of XXS–4X and is on clearance for $20, while this Caslon top is on sale for $34.30+ and available in lucky sizes.

Sales of note for 9.30.24

About Elizabeth

Elizabeth is a 30-something lawyer living on the East Coast. She spent seven years as a Biglaw associate in NYC, three years as a partner at a medium-sized firm, and is now in-house counsel for a large company. She loves Diet Coke, '90s sitcoms, and dresses with pockets.

Comments

  1. Anonymous

    Just wanted to pop in and say thank you to yesterday’s commenters – I left two separate questions at two separate times but was otherwise too busy to check back on responses until this morning. For everyone who left me ideas about what to do in NY this Spring, thank you! I put them all in my shared google doc with the sister who is going with me and she was blown away by my creativity (!). And I now know to order a new external keyboard for my Lenovo laptop so I have my magic F1 (Yes I did fat-finger F!) button.

    Appreciate the help and the kind tone of all responses. Thank you.

    • Anonymous

      I have been meaning to come on here for days to say thank you to the posters who recommended the double cleanse. I bought Take the Day Off and paired that with my Cetaphil gentle cleanser and I love it! This board is the best sometimes.

      • Anon

        Ah I’m so happy you found something that works for you! I love balm cleansers!

  2. Jaya

    Re Barbie, I read on a gossip site that maybe a reason that other women got Oscar directing nods but not Greta Gerwig is that people are either friends with Jennifer Jason Leigh or have long memories of GG befriending her, stealing her man, and leaving JJL to have her baby in her own. Obvs, the man is even more to blame, but that seems like a wrinkle that makes it make sense a bit. I haven’t seen Barbie even but I did like LadyBird and it’s not like Hollywood is full of saints (but this seems like a really rotten thing). I guess you never know.

    • Anon

      Why are we discussing an extremely talented director like she’s a high school junior gunning for homecoming queen?

      Please, don’t do this.

      • Anonymous

        It’s offered as an alternative explanation — the Academy maybe isn’t not supporting her because she’s a woman, but because of other things. They could be the petty girls here. IDK but who cares — I’d be laughing all the way to the bank.

    • Anonymous

      I mean the fact that anyone could write this out with a straight face is so disappointing. Stop reading gossip sites. Research Harvey Weinstein.

    • It Girl

      I’ve adored Greta since Frances Ha days, but I also love celebrity gossip/conspiracy.

      Her origin story with Noah Baumbach makes me cringe and I could totally get on board with this theory. As the kids might say, not a girl’s girl on that front. (whatever, their relationship works for them)

      also get real. the Oscars have never been about true legit talent, they *are* truly a homecoming HS drama-fest.

    • Lydia

      also, don’t best director nominations come only from the directors guild, not the academy as a whole? and that’s like 95% men? so it’s more patriarchal than the academy as a whole.

      • Anon

        The interesting thing is that there is a female best director nominee this year – Justine Triet. But her film is very different – less commercial and less female-focused. The sexism comes out not just in the gender of the director but also in relation to what type of movie is deemed worthy by the director’s guild, which seems wedded to a very historically male concept of Real Art.

        • Seventh Sister

          Yeah, Triet strikes me as the kind of woman director that they would like better than someone like Gerwig. These awards are about how certain people see themselves and what they’d like their own work to be, not what is objectively “good.” Triet’s film is arty, she’s sort of understated (but still very attractive), and the critics really liked “Anatomy of a Fall.”

      • Anon

        Yeah, let’s be real, most of these guys are much more aligned with Noah Baumbach here and all in favor of ditching their wives for a hot young thing. See Robert DeNiro and Al Pacino having kids at 80 as examples.

        • Anon

          And it’s been good for their careers! Likely because they aren’t pumping or rushing to get home to relieve the nanny or trying to get back into a bikini (spare us).

        • Seventh Sister

          I watch a lot of awards shows and regularly joke that you need a DGA waiver if you are a male director who wants to marry or date someone your own age (most of the wives are about 15 years younger).

      • Seventh Sister

        Not the director’s guild, but the Academy’s directors branch. There are something like 17 branches, and some nominations are voted on by all (or several) branches (e.g., Best Picture).

        However, the Best Director nominations are voted on ONLY by the directors branch, which skews extremely old and male. It’s also (allegedly) among the smaller branches, so even if you had 25 women (which is probably a generous guess on the numbers), you’d have to convince an entire Mojo Dojo Casa House of old guys to vote for a particular woman. So it’s a bit of a personality / popularity contest.

        One other thing that doesn’t help – there are 5 best director nomination slots and 10 best picture nomination slots. It’s a beguiling tapestry of structural s*xism.

  3. Anon

    I have a work book swap and am looking for a book for a male coworker who likes non-fiction, science or industry, biography. He is not into romance, true crime and thriller. Our genres are basically flipped so would love your ideas!

    • Cb

      I just read a really interesting history on East Germany – Beyond the Wall by Katya Hoyer. What about some sort of contemporary and feminist science fiction? Broaden his perspectives a bit?

      The Centre
      Ayesha Manazir Siddiqi

      Time Shelter
      Georgi Gospodinov

    • Anon88

      I will always and forever recommend John Branch’s The Last Cowboys. Intensely interesting look at a family of rodeo prodigies in Utah, written by a pulitzer-nominated NYTimes journalist. Incredibly well-written, atmospheric, and made me totally engrossed in a topic I knew nothing about.

    • Digby

      The Wager by David Grann.

      Anything by John McPhee. I think I started with Coming into the Country and Looking for a Ship, but he is a beautiful writer and makes any topic interesting.

      • Anon

        I was going to suggest this one too. My husband was obsessed with it while reading. And now there’s going to be a movie, so best read the book ahead of it! (Or maybe the movie is out already!)

    • Anonymous

      mary beard’s new book about rome
      the power broker (if he’s an intellectual, it’s 1200 pages long and very teeny print!)
      my husband enjoyed one called “the silk road”

    • Anononon

      Appetite for America — about the building of American railroads, the birth of the food service industry, and all sorts of other interesting things, framed with the biography of Fred Harvey.

    • pjfjf

      I liked “Tesla: Man of Out of Time” by Margaret Cheney – seems like it hits those criteria!

    • Anon.

      Exhalation by Ted Chiang blew my mind. Sci-fi short stories but with a twist. I am not a sci-fi fan at all and this was my best book in 2023.

    • Nesprin

      the Monk of Mocha
      A non fiction book about a guy who decides to start a coffee importing business from his native country of Yemen, then a civil war breaks out.
      I’m not much for nonfiction and I couldn’t put it down.

    • Anonymous

      Last Days of Night by Graham Moore. It’s about the Edison vs Tesla and how we came to have the power system we have today. Quite thrilling. My book club loved it.

      • Anon

        Yes to Invisible Women! Everyone should read it, I lectured the car dealer about the whole crash test dummy safety scores the last time I bought a car.

        Guess what? All the car manufacturers (except Volvo I believe) only put the female crash test dummies in the passenger seat — which is a much different environment than the drivers seat. Basically the safety data is useless for women drivers. Infuriating.

        • Anon

          That blows my mind! Or maybe someday it will literally blow my mind. I drive a Volvo.

    • Anon

      Young Men and Fire by Norman Maclean blends a bit of biography and science in understanding what happened in the 1949 Mann Gulch fire.

      Second the recommendation for Bad Blood, really enjoyed it.

  4. Anon4this

    my 4 and 6 year old have 67k and 90k in their 529s. we’ve stopped contributing in the last year and my husband thinks it’s sufficient for private college when they’re each 18. I’d like to keep contributing until.each kid has a 100k. he thinks theres only downsides to over contributing. Any thoughts?

    • anon

      I think your overall financial situation plays in here, and whether/to what extent you would be able to cash flow a portion of the costs when they’re in school (as well as how strongly you feel about them not taking loans).

    • Z

      I would keep going tbh. My alma mater was $45k/year 10 years ago and $65k today. Its absolutely insane. I got a good amount of aid, my parents paid as much as they could, and I still graduated with $40k of student loans.
      If they don’t drain the accounts during undergrad, they can be used for grad school if they want to do that. Apparently starting this year, up to $35k can be rolled over to a Roth IRA with certain conditions.

    • Anon

      The best thing you can do is talk to a financial professional, who can assess in context. Context includes retirement savings, mortgage, job stability, prospect of financial aid.

      529s can be used for private high school, graduate school, expenses associated with college, etc. If a kid receives a scholarship, there are circumstances in which the money can be withdrawn without a penalty.

      That said, you can’t even cover most state schools on $67k. You should even the girls up – it isn’t fair that one has 34% more money than the other one does.

      I would encourage both of you to look at the cost of college. People told me that I was lying when I said my alma mater costs over $85k a year (tuition, room, board, books, fees), and I think were shocked when I listed out numerous schools that are just as costly. State schools aren’t exactly affordable these days either.

      • Anon

        I assume the 4 year old has less because she has two additional years to generate returns.

        • Anon

          Two additional years to generate returns does not cover that gap, and given that college costs tend to rise every year, means that the additional returns will be swamped out by rising costs.

        • Anon

          This. I have a kid born in 2008 and one in 2010. Just the one kid buying in at the shocking bottom of the market and a 20 month head start means that 2008 kid has a rocking head start. Of course, they could both tank before needed, so I am trying to dial back at least a year of expenses into cash. It turns out, that the kids’ needs are wildly different, as are their interests, so I’m just grateful for a head start on expenses.

          • Anonymous

            Huh. Don’t have kids, so I hadn’t thought about these disparities. You aren’t allowed to pool the funds into one account for any/all of your dependents? What do people do with these disparities?

          • Anonymous

            Depends on your kids’ ages. Mine are 4 years apart, so we created one 529 and will change the recipient to my younger kiddo when (hopefully) older has graduated. If your kids are closer together, you can only have one name on the account.

      • Anon

        A big wild card for me for cost is housing. Many, many schools seem to only guarantee one year of on-campus housing and in many cities, I’m not how sure how a student on a student budget would manage that, even with roommates (who may all flake out, so parents are likely co-signing a lease and taking on roommates’ potential share as well). In places like NYC or Boston or DC, that is likely higher than my mortgage. Do we also have to plan on buying a condo there also (and apparently many families do, apparently)? I just feel so defeated at the college game and hope my kid goes the co-enrollment route for community college once he is old enough to drive to it.

        • Anonymous

          Look, you don’t need to plan on buying a condo in NYC if your kid wants to go to school here. Most people that live here can’t afford to buy. Your child can have roommates. They can be a subletter and not the lease holder. Literally, millions of people living in NY with limited to no credit history manage this; it will be okay.

          • Anonymous

            Do they really? Or it is with a shocking amount of parental support and parents taking out loans? I’d love it if schools painted an accurate picture of student and parental debt and what student housing looks like — I know kids with hours long commutes and couch surfing with relatives. But that’s not on the view book.

          • Anonymous

            Yes. How can you even ask this. Obviously NY is full of people who aren’t millionaires with rich parents. Please stop spewing your anxiety at us.

          • Anonymous

            I don’t know what all the parents of kids going to NYU are doing. I’m telling you that there are a lot of ways to live in NYC, and most of them do not involve having your very own apartment in the West Village–which is probably the most expensive neighborhood in the entire city–at age 18. If your child isn’t willing to live with roommates in an outer borough or way uptown, then yes, this may not be the right school for your child. It doesn’t mean their life is over.

          • Anon

            Here’s a logistics question: if 3 kids rent an apartment in NYC, do all of the parents guarantee the lease? Or just one set? And is it still broker fee = one month’s rent (and then landlord wants a month rent as a deposit, then first month’s rent in advance and last month’s rent in advance)? I sublet in Hoboken a million years ago and NYC housing was just a traumatic rat race.

          • anon

            Yeah, I went to NYU. The only person I knew whose parents bought an apartment in the West Village was someone whose last name was on a museum. Everyone else lived in student housing, in crappy tiny apartments in the far East Village/Chinatown, or in Brooklyn/Queens/Hoboken.

          • Anon

            How is it commuting to NYU from Hoboken? Do you feel left out? Or like you are just at a commuter school (which NYU used to be)? Or is it cool b/c you are so close to the city? I can’t imagine commuting as a college student — it is dreary enough as an adult and a HUGE time suck.

          • Anon

            Because NYU doesn’t have a traditional campus, the “commuter school” thing doesn’t play out the same way there. I lived in student housing a year but one, so my experience was more traditional, but there isn’t that sense of the school as a closed community that you get elsewhere.

        • Anonymous

          No don’t be ridiculous. I work at a school in a major city. I promise you only the very rich are doing this. Pls try and get a handle on your college anxiety.

          • Anon

            I feel like if you work in higher ed in a major city, I don’t see how it is affordable for you even. Very long commute? Plus lots of roommates? Half of the major city people I know who aren’t making $$$ are living with their parents and glad to have that option. They may rent airbnbs to party with friends maybe monthly but otherwise, happy to crash with mom and dad.

          • Anonymous

            This is fully unhinged. I work in higher Ed. I’m not poor? I’m a fully grown adult? My commute is convenient I live alone in a one bedroom.

            There are medications that can help you.

        • Anon

          Not a popular take: these days, going to college in an expensive city is a luxury. Balance the fun and opportunities of a big city – which aren’t nothing – against the increased costs.

          We don’t always buy the better item, even if we really want it, if it just costs too much.

          Is NYC more fun than Williamsburg, Virginia? Probably, for most students. But NYU is $90k a year and W&M is $67 a year for out of state students (in state is $43k).

          So maybe the real solution is to focus on affordable colleges, even if they aren’t in a “fun” area, and do a semester away in DC or NYC.

          • Anon

            This right here. I am all about sending my kids to a spendy summer program at Georgeown or NYU but that is it. I want you to have some experience there. But there is a hard stop beyond that.

            And just b/c I used to live in Arlington (as a working adult) in a building overrun by student renters, what does it cost, on average, for rent now? Like half of a 2-BR in somewhere like Courthouse? I don’t even want to think of NYC other than summer sublets seem to be abundant there.

          • Anon

            Anon at 10:47 – all-in cost. However, kids need to live somewhere and need to eat. Many colleges require freshman to live on campus and get a meal plan if they aren’t living with parents. Living at home comes with expenses, too – groceries, utilities, and usually a car or a train pass for the kid. Parking at school.

            When you talk about saving on room and board, it’s *usually* low/mid four figures a year of savings, not five figures of annual savings.

        • Anon

          Why would you think that you have to buy a condo for your college students, especially in a city like New York?

          • Anon

            I wouldn’t think I should have to, but I know parents who have stretched and gone this route b/c off-campus housing is so dicey and to get some sort of consistency over housing and trying to have their kid not be at the mercy of sketchy landlords and have some sort of way to deal with roommates. And at campuses where they were reasonably certain that they’d be sending multiple siblings. One house went from a brother and friends, to his sister and friends and then sorority sisters since our State U campus only guaranteed freshman housing. Over time, it saved them a ton of $ and put the kids somewhere they could walk to campus safely. It’s a gamble, but I’ve heard that in an in-demand place, you’re no worse off and can easily sell when it’s no longer needed (but might be able to rent out fairly easily if in a good location). IDK how true it is, but at some places, the student rental market is so warped (two places I’ve been)_ that I get why you’d consider it.

        • anecdata

          So I was in grad school in a very expensive place just before the pandemic (so not sure what’s changed) and here is what a lot of students (undergrad or grad) did, if they didn’t win in the non guaranteed housing lottery:

          – technically lived with relatives several hours away, but stealth slept on campus some weeknights
          – very very common to informally sublet (no credit check/cosigner required)
          – bought a van
          – if renting off campus, share rooms/curtain off the living space to add more people

          There /were/ definitely kids from very wealthy families who’s parents were renting them apartments, but that was your-parents-are-venture-capitalists $$$$, not your-parents-are-doctors $$$

          • Anon

            Everyone with kids – please, please, please chill. Yes – college is expensive and yes you need to save. But at the overwhelming majority of schools, you do not need to buy a condo, your kids will not be living in their cars, and they won’t be sharing an apartment with 4 people in a room. Also, there is honestly no way to predict what costs, financial aid, etc. will look like 12-14 years out. OP – I suggest talking to a financial planner. In your place and given your resources, I would save more. What you have now would probably be enough for in-state tuition if costs do not increase but we all know they will and rate of return over the next decade + is obviously uncertain.

            As a point of reference, my kid’s (dream) school guaranteed first-year housing. Second year she also got a dorm room, although she ended up only living in it for 2 quarters due to Covid. Last two years we rented a house with four other students within walking distance of campus, which all in was actually cheaper than living in the dorms. And yes – there were wrinkles. One of her roommates in her junior year was an absolute unmitigated slob. One of them was clearly having a mental health crisis. But those were learning opportunities and she survived and learned and loved it.

            My one suggestion is when you are looking at schools consider (1) housing costs over the full four years and (2) what percentage of students graduate in 4 years. In some cases, a school that seems much more expensive in terms of tuition actually turns out to have about the same cost when you consider housing costs and the likelihood of a fifth year because classes are not available.

        • Anon

          Yeah this is insane. I’ve lived in NYC my whole life — the only person I knew whose parents bought them an apartment for college went to Brooklyn College (a city school costing $3k a year for residents back then), and a condo two blocks away from campus (in midwood), 20 years ago, was $75k. I went to NYU and everyone either lived in the dorms, with roommates in cheaper neighborhoods (usually 2 to a room), or commuted from home. These days, NYU kids all seem to do the same.

        • Anon

          Definitely not. Beyond that buying a condo in NYC is incredibly expensive, there is a LOT that young people learn from their housing situations during college – how to handle roommates, how to talk to landlords, how to pick a neighborhood, how to make sure the rent is paid on time. These are life skills! We shouldn’t be shielding our kids from them.

        • Away Game

          It’s not just the expensive cities with outrageous off-campus housing costs. Landlords in places like Blacksburg VA (Virginia Tech) and State College PA (Penn State) are charging more for housing off campus than rents in Arlington VA for similar places. And this for kids doubling up in bedrooms in off-campus apartments. IF the college is the only economic game in town, housing can be pretty hefty.

    • anon

      Congrats for saving a lot early!This is both a math question and a rest of your finances question. I wouldn’t be comfortable that this would even come close to covering 4 years of my alma mater when the time comes. I would save a lot more before splurgy renovations, but I’d prioritize retirement over a lot more in the 529s.

      1) What rate of return and what increases in tuition are you assuming in your models? How does that compare to some benchmarks, like various years of how the market has done and your alma mater’s tuition increases? Have you accounted for moving investments to safer, less remunerative, investments for a few years before college?

      2) How are you doing in everything else, like retirement and emergency savings? Are you expecting financial aid? Are you putting a lot of money away in non-tax advantaged funds? If the 529 isn’t enough for undergrad, what’s your plan? Would you help with grad school? Would you be happy for any leftover funds to go to your grandkids’ college?

      • OP

        thank you. we have maxed our 401ks every year for the last 15 years and both work in lucrative industries but live very within our means. we save multiple 6 figures annually into a taxable account so this would just be moving some of that regular taxable savings into 529s on a monthly basis..

        • anon

          In this case, I would use a spreadsheet and the formula to model out compound interest in different environments (ie, high, average, and low market returns and same for tuition increases) and continue contributing to the point where I feel comfortable that the account will cover the amount of education I want to cover, plus a cushion.

    • Anon

      I was going to say that you can use an online NPV calculator to estimate what tuition will be in 12 years using today’s most expensive campus (Bennington?) as an example. But I also think that certain expenses (health care, insurance and tuition are on the list, I think) rise faster than inflation. In any event, someone should be able to calculate the estimate and then you figure out what the principal needs to be now to generate enough return in 12 years (when your now-6 year old is a freshman).

    • Anon

      Our financial advisor told us that any unspent 529 money is now eligible to become the kids IRA without a penalty. Not sure if that’s true in your case but when we were debating slowing down contributions he mentioned that.

      • Anon

        Yes; as of 2024 529’s can be rolled over into an IRA, so it’s not as much of a concern if you have leftover money.

        However, if you are thinking private university, the balances you have now will not cover that so there would not be leftover money. I would assume private university is at least $60K a year, and it will probably (sadly) be more when your kids are college age.

          • Anon

            The difference between private and public college is a lot more than 35k per kid. I don’t think it’s an unreasonable concern.

          • Anon

            You could have all of it left over if the kid decides to join the military or take up a trade or otherwise skip college.

    • Anon

      I am currently paying ~$80k out of pocket ($10k per semester) for my kid to attend the local (not flagship) 4-year state U with significant merit scholarships.

          • Anon

            Yes, agree! And this is the out of pocket cost after scholarships, grants, etc. are all factored in.

        • Anon

          GVSU. The amount was the same across all in-state schools he applied to, with room & board costs being the only real difference. He wanted to live on campus live on campus so that was a big factor.

        • Anon

          Not the above poster, just throwing out annual costs for some non-flagship state U costs for in-state students:
          W&M – $43k
          Miami University of Ohio: $34k
          UC Irvine: $40k
          UCSD: $39,500
          Eastern Connecticut State, a US News best value school: $33k
          Texas A&M: $31k
          UMass Lowell: $32k

          • Anon

            They are only offering that by limiting in-state students to the most competitive ones and then using OOS students paying full tuition to balance the budget. There is so much gaming for politics — got to keep it cheap for in-state students, got to let in a broad mix to keep constituents happy, got to plug the budget holes that creates. It’s like the sausage factory.

          • Anon

            Anon at 11:02 am, my point is that even non-flagship state U is still a significant cost that most families cannot cover with a combination of cash flow, student jobs, and *reasonable* student loans.

    • Anonymous

      we’re in a similar position with lots of $ in the kids 529 accounts – i keep maxing them both because a) we might use for private high school (or maybe we could use for schmancy camp at a college also?), b) if either kid goes to grad school they’ll need more money, and c) while you can roll some over into a roth plan, you can also do a “dynasty 529 plan” and plan for future generations. of course if i have no grandkids i guess that will suck, but hey.

      re dynasty plans:
      https://www.nytimes.com/2022/12/13/your-money/student-loans/student-debt-529-savings.html

        • Anon

          You can still use the 529 for graduate housing, books, health insurance, fees, etc., right? Even if your stipend is supposed to cover those costs?

          • Anon

            You can’t use 529s to buy health insurance. You can use 529s for room, board, books and fees, but only up to the difference between the school’s estimated cost of attendance and the scholarships/grants you’ve been given, and a stipend counts as a scholarship. Typically for PhD students, the stipend + tuition grant covers the full estimated cost of attendance, even if the actual cost of living in the city is higher. So typically there would not be much use for 529 money for a fully funded PhD student.

    • Anon

      I agree it’s hard to answer in a vacuum. With that much saved, I’d prioritize retirement. But if you have tons already saved for retirement then contributing more makes sense.

      I’m with your husband that there are risks to overcontributing though. We stopped funding my now 6 year old’s 529 when it had $50k, which is enough for 4 years of state school (but we have a more affordable in-state option than most people, due to being public university employees who get a tuition discount for our children). $50k obviously will not cover private college, but I’m wary of saving much more because the odds are very good she goes in-state. In the unlikely event she goes to a private school, we expect grandparent help, and if that falls through, we can cash flow it, although that would require cutting back on retirement contributions for the four years she’s in college (but we’d have to cut back on retirement contributions to save more now, so it’s kind of two sides of the same coin, and arguably better to front load retirement savings when there’s more time for growth). Two kids does give you more flexibility though, because you can easily switch the beneficiary if only one kid goes to an expensive college.

    • Anon

      Do commenters not have financial advisors, friends and family to discuss their incredible wealth? Or is this just bragging as a way for them to make themselves feel better? I don’t get it.

      • Anon

        People can get great advice from anonymous boards without the real-life baggage of bringing up sensitive issues with family and friends. The great thing is that you don’t have to read any threads that upset you.

      • Anon

        I have the same question. If you’re saving multiple hundreds of thousands as OP stated, it seems like a good idea to have a financial advisor no matter what.

      • Anon

        Financial advisors are great, but they cannot tell you what your priorities are. And many people, myself included, hesitate to discuss money with family and friends, particularly when I make considerably more than they do.

        About 90% of the questions asked here are things people could discuss with others, but this board can be the source of valuable inside, particularly when it comes to champagne problems.

        • Anon

          But how can we tell a poster what their priorities are?

          A financial advisor at least has the full picture and can advise with that in mind!

        • Anon

          Some financial advisors specialize in helping people sort out priorities; it may be the question of finding the right kind?

  5. KS IT Chick

    Date night tonight. I want to wear the black leather moto jacket I picked up at a thrift store last weekend. We have reservations at a local wine bar for their prix fixe menu for restaurant week.

    Would you wear jeans, t-shirt and a light sweater, or a trapeze dress and tights?

    • ALT

      I’d wear jeans or a slip dress and tights. This is what I wanted to wear for a date last night but I have misplaced my slip dress :(

    • NYNY

      Either one could be really cute, especially if you’re wearing chunky boots with the trapeze dress for kind of a punk rock vibe. I’m assuming you want to wear the moto jacket inside, not just as your coat? If so, I’d ditch the sweater if you choose the jeans look and just do jeans, tee, jacket so as not to overheat.

  6. Anonymous

    I have a kid who has a weekly hour long appointment that I need to be present for. I have access to wifi. What would you do during this time? Work remotely, meal plan/grocery shop, something else? I’m wondering if there’s something else I could be doing that I’m not thinking of.

    • Cb

      I’d use this as an admin power hour – saving up all those 2-minute important but not urgent tasks (put a notepad next to your computer and jot them down throughout the week).
      Or read a really good book.

      • Anon

        If you have tasks to do, I would do them during this time so you don’t waste more valuable time at home on that kind of thing, but don’t invent work – if you don’t have anything suitable already on your to do list, don’t go looking for it. Just read that book.

      • Anonymous

        I vote for these options. And it could be a combination or alternate erratically depending on what admin you have.

    • Anon

      Pay your bills online, catch up on personal email, read substack/blogs or just zone out on social media and rest your brain ;)

    • Anon

      I hate the idea that every minute of the day has to be optimized to be the most efficient use of our time or whatever. I would just chill on my phone or read a book.

      • Anonymous

        Oh man I’d sit there thinking about all the things I need to do but can’t because I’m stuck at this appointment. I think OP is right to plan ahead.

        OP, my answer to this question depends on what you’re doing and who you’re with. If you’re sitting in an uncrowded and quiet waiting room, I would feel comfortable taking care of more confidential things (checking on investments, paying any random bills that aren’t on autopay) or things that require more attention (work stuff, vacation planning). If you’re in the bleachers with a bunch of other parents then I’d try to make small talk and bring an actual physical book. I wouldn’t want to be the mom who’s staring at her phone giving off unfriendly vibes.

    • BeenThatGuy

      I’d probably break up the time into half leisure and half productivity. Maybe read/candy crush (or something of the like) for 30 minutes and then 30 minutes on tasks like meal planning, catching up on texts, adding things to the cart my favorite internet shopping site or vacation planning.

    • anon

      I would use it to do something useful but “mindless”, so that I can be somewhat alert/aware if I need to know what is going on in the appointment.

      So… laundry, cleaning etc..

    • ALT

      I’d meal plan, research new recipes, read, knit, pay bills, make appointments for dental cleanings/vet visits/doctors/etc., order things for a Target pickup afterwards.

    • Anon

      I’d spend half the time doing admin tasks and the other half reading or calling a friend. Or once or twice a month it would be a good time to do networking/business development (which I otherwise put off) – like writing an article or having quick chats with people you want to stay in touch with or finding something to post on LinkedIn

      • Anonymous

        +1 I would knit, maybe while listening to an audiobook or podcast if the surroundings are noisy and I want to mute them.

    • New Here

      Ditto reading or podcasts. I may jot down a to-do list.
      Can you walk around the building or something like that? That’s what I do during our 45 minute gymnastics class – not worth going home, so I take a quick walk around the neighborhood. If the weather is bad, I read.

      • Anon

        Yeah same. I usually text friends or play a game on my phone during gymnastics because I’m too distracted with looking up to watch what’s going on to read.

    • Anon

      Anything you like if you are just required to be present in a waiting room. If you actually need to be present with your child, though, please put your devices down and participate in your child’s event.

    • Anonymous

      Depends what ‘present’ meant. If I just had to be in the waiting room I would read. If ‘present’ meant in the room with my kid, I would pay attention to what the appointment entailed.

  7. Jay

    Where would you go/do on a 6-8 week sabbatical (from the bay area)? I can’t be away the whole time (elementary aged child)…

    • Anon

      I’m confused – are you looking for things to do with your kid with you or alone? Because I would go get a short-term rental in Tahoe and ski my legs off.

    • anonymous

      I’d go to Europe and rent a place there for the summer. Take the kid and your spouse if there is one for as much of the time as possible and enjoy living in another country.

    • Flats Only

      From the west coast I would take advantage of “cheap” direct flights to Japan if you haven’t been. In 10 days or 2 weeks you can see a lot, and there is plenty to interest the elementary aged child if you’re planning to bring them. Once you’re on the ground in Japan it’s pretty affordable right now with Yen/Dollar exchange rate very much in our favor.

    • anecdata

      How old is the kid?

      Honestly, I would do something that you can’t do regularly – massive Alaska road trip, rent an apartment in Buenos Aires for a month, whatever adventure is on your bucket list. And I would pull my kid out of school and take them with me :)

      • Anon

        Schools these days often have pretty strict attendance requirements. Schools in my city give parents 9 discretionary absences per semester but after that they start trying to initiate truancy proceedings. I know people who’ve taken their kids out for just two weeks (10 school days) who ran afoul of that policy, and even when there was a very legitimate reason (family wedding halfway around the world, etc.) it still ended up being a huge logistical headache and one family ended up having to homeschool their kids for a year before re-enrolling. I’d definitely consider taking the kids somewhere up to the point where it’s going to cause issues with the school district though.

        • Anon

          This is so dystopian. I hope families who have the ability to push back will do so. I realize until change is accomplished that this is the reality until then. But schools deserve to lose enrollments as long as they put this kind of pressure on kids and families.

          • Anon

            Attendance is at record lows all over the country post-covid and that is not a good thing for society. School districts trying to get kids to go to class is a GOOD thing, even if the rich parents trying to take their kids on vacations think they’re being too mean.

          • Anon

            Parents have a terrile time in the UK with the schools harping them for taking a few days off for holiday. All children can benefit from nonsummer travel that is often more educational than whatever test prep is happening in school. I took my kid to Philly on a work trip and he and my husband visited all the historical places. That was a good thing.

          • Anon

            It’s almost like we’re not actually post COVID. I’m frustrated by this right now because of schools demanding doctor’s notes while very overwhelmed doctors don’t want to see kids who are sick but can’t really be treated. (Meanwhile kids who previously relied on Evusheld or whose parents do no longer matter to society at all…)

            Poor people have families and obligations outside of school too, as well as medical conditions that result in absences even without doctor’s appointments to prove it. Presenteeism is bad for society and shouldn’t be taught to children.

          • Anon

            I don’t think it’s dystopian? There have always been attendance requirements, and a kid who misses a consecutive month of school is really going to a miss a lot of material, even if you’re talking about early elementary school kids.

            Fwiw, I don’t think perfect attendance is necessary in elementary school, and have pulled my kid out of school for a few days at a time to travel for religious holidays (we’re Jewish so our holidays aren’t school holidays) and for educational trips that couldn’t be scheduled over a school break (some wildlife stuff is very seasonal). But a month is really different – they’d be totally behind. My kid learned to read in kindergarten, and missing a month of school would have had a huge impact on her ability to make progress on that front. I don’t think it’s unreasonable for schools to cap the number of vacation days parents can take. You have a 2+ month summer break to take vacations, plus several shorter breaks during the school year.

  8. ADE

    I am shopping for a new family couch. I am looking for long-term durability and comfort. What are your favorites??

    • Anon88

      Room and board! I saw them recommended here and ended up getting the jasper for a great deal lightly used. It’s so much higher quality than my old couch, which came from a local furniture store. Obsessed with it, honestly.

      • Anon

        We’ve had a mixed experience with Room and Board. The customer service to resolve issues has been good, but the couch we ordered came misaligned (on the sleeper component so it wouldn’t open/close normally) and then a supporting board broke with normal use a year later. The quality hasn’t exactly met my expectations for expensive, made-in-the-USA furniture.

    • Anonymous

      when you say “family” – how old are your kids? we went super cheap with JCP couches when my kids were small – this was 8 years ago, they’ve held up fine but i have no attachment to them if/when the time comes to get rid of them.

      we have a sectional from ashley that i really like too.

      if you’re truly buying for longterm, look to room & board or maybe joybird. i’ve heard good things about lovesac also but haven’t tried myself (the actual couches not the sacs).

      • ADE

        7 and 9, and our dog is almost 1 so I think we are out of the major danger zone but am still interested in performance fabrics.

        • Anon

          We have had a terrible experience with our Joybird couch. We chose a high performance fabric for our couch because we have pets and were having a baby. The cat almost immediately started scratching the fabric. Within a month, we had a whole in the couch from our dog sitting on it. We also now have water stains all over the couch from little drips from my toddler’s water bottle or my own. I thought the first two were just bad luck but I can’t explain or justify the water stains.

    • Anon

      Comfortable Couch Company — recommended here, went in-person, now proud owner of a couch, chair, and ottoman in a variety of coverings. It helped immensely that the sales staff I dealt with had young sons and a dog and was not precious in protecting the items she had at her own house.

    • Anon

      For durability, washability, price (I didn’t want to pay dream sofa prices for a practical sofa), and size (I needed a corner sectional that would seat a lot of people but still fit in my room!), I went with Sabai.

      If I didn’t had any concerns about longevity or stains, I’d be all about natural fiber upholstery and feather stuffing. There are also cuter sofas if I don’t care about comfort! But I went for something that could see a lot of daily use, that would work for lounging, reading, or getting stuff done on a laptop, and where a spill or accident would be an easy clean up that leaves no mark.

    • Anon

      Macy’s Radford/Radley (sofa/sectional). Wear like iron, cushions washable, thousands cheaper that Pottery Barn/Lovesac/Room & Board. Great color selection.

      • BeenThatGuy

        Seconded. The Radley sofa, ottoman and chair in my home have lasted for almost 10 years. This summer, I’m handing them down to my college aged niece for her first apartment.

    • In-House Anon

      Sherrill is always my go-to recommendation for long-term durability. Be prepared to include it in your will, though; my grandma’s is more than 50 years old, mine is close to 20 and still looks and feels brand new (two kids and a dog later).

    • NY CPA

      My Ethan Allen couch is very comfortable. It’s new so I can’t speak to durability, but when I was looking through fabric choices, it seemed like most were performance fabrics, including the one I chose.

      I dont think I’d be happy buying a couch I couldn’t test out first, so being able to shop locally in person was a big factor in my decision making. I learned I could sit on a couch and almost instantly rule it out as not comfortable enough for me. I also learned my definition of comfortable and others’ definitions were often different.

    • ollie

      Apt2B – very comfortable, lots of durable fabric options, and can easily customize to fit your space

    • Anon

      Our Ethan Allen couch is the most expensive and worthwhile purchase in our house.

    • Rhani

      Check out Lovesac. They aren’t super trendy looking, but everything is washable and you can replace individual cushions and covers easily if you need to. For durability – go with the standard fill. Sometimes Costco has bundles.

    • 2bu

      We just got a leather couch from Interior Define. It’s great, and there’s lots of customization options.
      The leather does get marked up easily, but we went for that option since we have cats that don’t scratch leather but go after fabrics. Their fabric options are sturdy and some are stain and wear resistant.
      Also, they have a great warranty you can buy that will replace damage.

    • Anon

      I think it has to be a direct email now. If anyone sends me your email at sarah mm r e t t e {at} the mail of g, I can send you a code for 20 off!

  10. Cultivating abundance

    Not to sound woo woo but I realize in so many areas of my life I have a scarcity mindset: not enough time, energy, friends, good men to date/potentially partner with, etc. When I hear people talk about a scarcity mindset I usually hear that in the context of money or business. I decided I want to cultivate an abundance mindset. What does that mean to you? Have you made that shift?

    • Anon

      I grew up poor and have money now. I have too much stuff. If I like something and get it to it, I end up with a lot of stuff related to it – so many books! My knitting stash is epic. Perfumes. Jewelry.

      And I always have a full pantry because you never know. That’s how it was when I was a kid. And the beginning of lockdown really triggered all of my underlying anxieties about scarcity – TP, flour, groceries of all sorts. Fortunately my overstock self just happened to have bought two of those really big packs of TP right before it started, and we made it through.

      I’m not sharing this to tell you I’ve overcome it. Just to tell you how it manifests in the adult life of a kid who didn’t know where her next meal was coming from.

    • Anon

      Me too! At the end of every day, write down 3 places you found abundance:
      (Reframe of gratitude journal)

    • Anonymous

      A scarcity mindset isn’t inherently bad, though. To me it’s realistic. There really is a finite amount of resourses (time, money, etc) and we all have to make choices based on personal priorities.
      As well, the prudent thing to do is be mindful that anything can happen and change the amount and type of respurses available and to prepare for that.

    • Anonymous

      I have no idea what these terms mean. What I have realized is that enough is enough and stores are good places to store things I may need in the future. Ultimately I just need one man (though this is a pretty new concept for me!!). I just need enough friends to not be lonely, and that means investing in the ones who want to spend time with me and just occasionally reaching out to those who I care about but don’t/can’t spend time with me right now to keep them in the maybe pile.

      • Anon

        Stores are good places to store things I may need in the future. Thank you for that, I need the reminder.

        Also “ultimately I just need one man” made me LOL. Good for you!

    • DC Pandas

      I’ve recommended these on here before: Louise Hay’s power thought cards. They’re very colorful and have a variety of self-affirming phrases. Some of them are very out-there (especially on cards related health or finances), but I almost always come across a card that’s relevant to the current season of life I’m facing.

      Another (more expensive) option- go to therapy and work through your self-defeating thoughts and beliefs. Change is always possible!

  11. Anon

    You know how the FDA hasn’t approved new sunscreen ingredients but everyone knows that new ingredients from Europe and Asia work well? Is the same true for antiperspirant? I want to switch away from aluminum-containing antiperspirant, but natural deodorants don’t work (have tried tons of them over the years) and I’m wondering whether there is an ingredient approved for use in other countries that actually reduces sweat.

    • Anonymous

      No have you been other places? They just have more stinky people. Just like Seattle.

    • anon

      I’ve been using aluminum free deodorants for close to 10 years now, and while they don’t work for a sweaty workout they’re fine for going to the office. I don’t know if they have any different ingredients in Europe but I remember that they have a lot more brand choices compared to the US when it comes to aluminum free product. Like you didn’t have to look for a brand that specializes in them, even Dove and Secret would carry them.

    • Anon

      The FDA is just about to approve one new sunscreen ingredient – tinsorb, I believe, which has been available everywhere else for decades. This will in no way catch US sunscreens up to the rest of the world. I will keep ordering Asian sunscreens for the foreseeable future. But I expect a lot of excited ads from Neutrogena and Supergoop.

      Anti perspirants work by plugging your sweat pores with aluminum. I’m not aware of any non-US advances on this front.

      I really recommend everyone follow labmuffinbeautyscience on IG! She’s great. I particularly love her reel showing how much foundation with SPF you’d have to apply to get actual UV protection.

    • Anonymous

      I’m from Europe and I buy imported US and UK antiperspirants. If you genuinely sweat a lot, and need an antiperspirant, there’s no secret European ingredients.

      If you don’t sweat a lot, and just want some deodorant, there are options, but most likely the same you’ll find at Whole Foods.

      • Anon

        Yes, my best friend lives in France and makes me bring her deodorant every time I visit! Nothing fancy, just like regular Dove, but apparently it has ingredients she can’t get in Europe.

    • Agurk

      I like the activated charcoal deodorant from Primally Pure. It is natural and is a good enough antiperspirant for everyday activities (on my body, at least)

      • Anon

        Agree on Primally Pure; it works better than any other natural deodorant and I have tried a lot of them. But like any natural deodorant it’s not great if you work out or have a long travel day, but for that use the clinical deodorants.

  12. Anon

    ok, who can i vote for in 2028? can we fast forward until then because i’m not sure i can handle the next 4+ years

      • Anon

        Same, also a Republican. We had so much talent in 2016 and now, two primary states into 2024, we have Trump and a neocon corporatist. (Sorry, I didn’t like Haley’s positions back when W Bush held them in the aughts and I think they are a nightmare now.)

      • anon

        Let’s stop this narrative. One party is trying, whether competently or not, and the other is maliciously obstructing. They are not the same.

        • Anon

          Well, trying at what? It seems like they know how to get things done when it’s a priority for them!

          • Anon

            Wheeling, dealing, compromising when necessary to keep making small incremental progress.
            I’m individually pretty far to the left of this administration, but they have my respect in a big way. The President has put together an administration full of competent people who aren’t creating drama and quietly getting things done. They keep throwing things at the wall on student loan forgiveness and eventually something will stick. The infrastructure package is having real, live impact in parts of the country often overlooked. Do I wish the President could wave into being failsafe abortion access in all corners of the US, single payer healthcare, student loan forgiveness, frequent, reliable train service and affordable housing? I sure do, but that’s not exactly realistic.
            I won’t just be holding my nose and voting Biden in 2024. I’ll gladly vote and knock doors for 4 more years of this administration.

          • Anonymous

            Is this a criticism? Isn’t this the actual goal of being the winning party?

          • Anon

            It’s criticism if the things they get done aren’t what their voters actually want!

      • Anon

        It would be really weird for the democratic party not to put forward the sitting president, I wouldn’t say they have “failed miserably”.

        Where they are failing right now is with the Israel-Gaza policy; a lot of people are saying they will vote third party in protest (though a Trump policy would be as bad or worse). Lots can change before November, though…

        (I am moderate, even Repub-leaning, and I would be fine with another Biden presidency. He’s definitely not liberal)

        • Anon

          It’s also really weird to have an 81 year old in the Oval Office, let alone running for reelection. Per actuarial tables, there’s a 38% chance he dies before January 2027 rolls around.

          • Anonymous

            The stats aren’t that much better for Trump, esp if you factor in lifestyle choices, and in one case I’ll be rooting for their demise.

          • The No Club

            Chances of a random 81 year old dying != chances of an 81 year old who still bikes/exercises regularly and has a healthy BMI with 24/7 world-class doctors at his side within seconds dying

          • Anon

            1. I never said they were that much better for Trump. Point to where I said that.

            2. Biden isn’t in good health. He is struggling in many ways, and even if his death rate is half of what the average is, there is still a 20% chance he will bite the dust. Moreover, it’s not a binary: dying or being perfectly healthy. He’s only going to go downhill from here.

        • anon

          No, because the Democratic Party should have told him to retire. The Economist kindly pointed out that the only other countries that have 80 year old leaders are all autocracies because those are the only kinds of governments that are unable to exercise enough power to remove a leader in his 80s.

          • Anonymous

            And the GOP should have blocked Trump in 2016 based on almost any factor, including age, but even more so his lack of intelligence, dearth of experience, long history of abject failures, overall cruelty, mental illness, disregard for and lack of understanding of democratic principles, etc. I mean, if they had just used “understands the substance of ‘I’m Just a Bill on Capitol Hill’ ” as a qualifier, we wouldn’t be in this peril. But instead they fully sold out to him, proving definitively that they lack morality and conviction of any kind

          • Anon

            The GOP tried to stop Trump in 2016 and could not.

            The Democrats are not trying to retire Biden.

          • ArenKay

            The GOP absolutely did not try to stop Trump in 2016. All the candidates refused to criticize him b/c they thought he wouldn’t last and they wanted his votes. The brief criticism after Access Hollywood faded instantly because ballots were already printed.

        • anecdata

          Plus in his 2020 campaign and early presidency, Biden was putting himself forward as a 1-term president. I really wanted to see the democratic party use his term to seriously deliver on investing in their next gen leadership, so they’d /have/ options. They didn’t, and now Biden running again is probably the best option for achieving anyone-but-trump (which is an important outcome to me!), but I am disappointed they’ve put themselves in this situation

          • anonshmanon

            By all indications though, a Trump administration would not shift Israel-Gaza policy to be more agreeable to most people!

          • Anon

            “Most” people (in the USA) support Israel over Hames by an incredibly wide margin – it is something like 80%. Republicans support Israel more than Democrats but even among Democrats – and particularly among likely voters – a candidate would lose more single-issue voters than they would gain by supporting Gaza. Any Republican candidate would support Israel as much if not more than Biden has (Trump would probably support carpet bombing the entire Gaza region.) The latest polling shows overwhelming support for Israel’s military intervention in Gaza among Republicans.

            So cutting off your nose to spite your face very much applies here. You think Biden is not going enough to dial Israel’s response down and in response you are going to vote for someone who will give Israel even more support and who is an avowed racist who thinks Arabs are subhuman?

    • NYNY

      If you don’t vote for Biden in 2024, you may not get to vote in 2028.

      I’m politically left, and Biden isn’t my first choice, but I honestly feel this year he’s my only choice.

      • Anon

        As a Russian-American who remembers when people thought Putin would allow free elections, I would just like to remind everyone that Trump loves Putin.

      • Anon

        This. I am also baffled by all the people who feel Biden is supporting Israel too much or not doing enough to help the people of Gaza, but will sit out the elction and hand it to a man who said we should BAN MUSLIMS from entering our country. Does. Not. Compute.

        • Anon

          Yes, yes, it’s because we’re obtuse, and not because we have a legitimate grievance with our tax dollars blindly aiding genocide. Keep talking down to voters, it’ll go as well as it did in 2016.

          • Anonymous

            Okay. Vote for Trump. Or Haley. You do know that Haley proposed cutting off UN funding for Palestinian refugees, right? And she made that proposal to Trump because she knew he would like it. And he did like it.
            So vote GOP. Or vote third party to ensure GOP. And see how that goes.
            Be sure to keep encouraging others to do the same.
            Look, I get that perhaps threatening this over the coming months might get Biden to move on this. And I would love to see Biden move on this myself. But following through in November would be . . . idiotic.

        • Anon

          There’s banning Muslims from entering the US, and then there’s murdering their children in their homeland. Why oh why would Arab voters (many of whom are Christian btw, but not the point) push back?

          • Anonymous

            What on Earth makes you think that a Trump admin policy would involve less killing in Gaza? It’s not either a Muslim ban here or the war in Gaza. It’s both and. I think maybe you are obtuse. And by the way – GOP support for Israel is about concepts of Christian salvation, so their motivation is even more dangerous and entrenched. Do you really not get that?

      • Anon

        Also to the left of Biden, and same. Am I frustrated he’s running? Yes. Could he die during his term? Also yes. Did he market himself as a 1 term president? Sure! At the end of the day, there’s an election with 2 candidates. 1 will win. I don’t want that 1 to be Trump. So I’m voting for Biden.

      • 2bu

        How would you not get to vote in 2028? This is fear-mongering. I don’t want Trump but I can’t see the US folding as a republic if he gets elected. It’s the same vibe as the Barbie’s being brainwashed by Kens in less than a day. Please. If our rights are so easily revoked then they weren’t robust to begin with and we don’t have them now.

        • Anon

          You might read Lion Feuchtwanger’s “The Oppermanns.” It can all happen in a matter of six months.

          PS: If you decide to read it (which you can do in a day, though it will haunt you for years), read the recent English translation published last year.

    • Anon

      I keep thinking, aside from newly-turned 18yo kids, Trump can’t possibly have GAINED any voters, right? The people who didn’t vote for him in 2020 can’t possibly look at the last four years and decide “actually, he’s not so bad”, right?

      I know people are defecting from
      Biden, too, and the overall turnout may be lower, which is the issue. But maybe the Haley voters are so disgusted with Trump they’ll vote Biden?

      • Anon

        He has gained voters. I personally know several people who voted for Biden in 2020 who are going to vote for Trump this time around. Most (maybe all?) of them voted for Trump in 2016 also.

        Also elections are all about turnout, so if a slightly larger share of the Biden 2020 people stay home than the Trump 2020 people, Trump can win. He doesn’t actually need to flip votes, just needs to do a better job turning out his voters. And the 2020 election was pretty close in the electoral college, so it won’t take much of a margin in turnout.

        • Anon

          I also hear of people who plan to flip to Trump because “the economy” and “the gas prices”.

          • Anon

            Wtf. The economy is faring much better than almost anyone predicted, as we hopefully cruise to a “soft landing”. Inflation is coming down. The housing bubble is not caused by this president and in fact began under Trump.

            People who say “the economy is worse now” are making up justifications.

      • Anon

        He’s gained voters among previously “never Trump” conservatives, yes. They may not like him, but they will NEVER vote Dem, and over time they’ve accepted that this is the direction their party is taking and that they have to get on board.

        • Anon

          But did they vote Biden in 2020? I mean general election voters, not primary. I have a hard time picturing someone who voted Biden last time would change to Trump now… as you said below, most (all) Trumpers would never vote D to begin with. Unless perhaps they voted third party last time

          • Anon

            The largest “party” in my state is unenrolled / in no party (commonly called “independents”). I hear from a lot of “independents” who voted Dem and now will vote GOP because they’re feeling crushing, rising housing and food costs.

        • Anonymous

          That is sad and lazy and could result in real, massive, international tragedy.

      • Anon

        some of the Haley voters i know despise Biden and will probably vote for Trump. and/or are so annoyed by the super duper liberals they’d rather have Trump. personally, i’d like to still have a democracy in 2028, so Biden it is for me. the 2020 election was SO close, which is still scary to me. Also thinking back to Hillary – not saying whether I was a fan or not, but the fact that her emails turned into such a thing when Trump is now spending his days in court…the things people are concerned about make no sense

    • Anon

      I kind of hate the both sides thing. Congress has failed miserably, largely because the Republican Party can’t get their act together and/or refuses to even consider caucusing with the Democrats to get anything done.

      I think Biden has done the best he could with the Congress he has. Unemployment is low, prices are moderating – and, to be sure, a bunch of information has come out noting that “inflation” is largely due to corporations raising prices just cuz they can. And no President can do much about that, unless they are allowed to implement price fixing or windfall profits taxes, which, hahahahahaha, like any Congress with a majority or even close to majority of Republicans would let that happen.

      I also agree with NYNY that if you don’t vote for Biden, we likely get Trump, and this time he and the people around him won’t make so many mistakes, and we may lose a lot of things we take for granted as members of a functional democracy. Not just voting, but the ability of entities to make rules about pollution, drug safety, workplace safety, etc.

      • anonymous

        Do you really think Biden has “done the best he could”? He should easily defeat Trump in 2024 by at least the margin he did in 2020 (per the earlier comment, who’s switch their votes TO Trump?). The problem is, a lot of people have. It’s infuriating to me that Biden has blundered in such a way that Trump is likely to be elected in 2024.

        A few reasons pop to mind: three years of high inflation (which you can blame on corporations “raising prices”, but it’s weird that under that theory, the same corporations decide not to raise prices when more sane fiscal/monetary policies are in place), blowing out the annual deficit/national debt from already-unsustainable Trump levels (see note on inflation), trying to impose a nationwide vaccine mandate for a vaccine that doesn’t prevent transmission, millions (and millions!) of migrants being incentivized to enter (and entering) the country annually, and (recognizing this won’t be popular here) pandering the insane woke mob on numerous issues (tr*nsgenderism, Hamas, defund the police, anti-white DEI, etc.)

        • Anonymous

          You are watching too much Fox news if you think Biden supports Hamas or defunding the police. And profiteering is a thing, the poster above didn’t make it up. And the war in Ukraine hit grain and other prices hard, which is hardly Biden’s fault. And China was slow to open and manufacturing has had to quickly move to other locations, which also hit prices.

          • Anon

            The right thinks he supports Hamas and the left thinks Biden hates Palestinians. The man can’t win.

        • Anon

          Always so interesting to see someone preface an insult with “this won’t be popular here”.

          Was that necessary? Was it kind or respectful?

          You could have said pandering to issues X, Y, and Z…without including “the insane woke mob”. That’s just a cheap pot shot. Maybe think about *why* your way of commenting isn’t popular. The way you say things can sting even more than what you’re saying.

      • Anon

        “a bunch of information has come out noting that “inflation” is largely due to corporations raising prices just cuz they can.”

        LOL. That’s not how economics works. A competitive business should be undercutting them, forcing prices down. If that isn’t happening, that’s a government problem.

    • Anon

      I’m Palestinian. There is no way I am voting for Biden. Democrats have got to start running on something other than
      ‘we are better than the other guy’. And I don’t care about any gloom or doom either. I’m watching my people get k illed.

      • anon

        I am truly sorry that your people are getting killed and hope that the conflict ends ASAP… but Trump Part 2 is going to be even worse for the Palestinian cause than Biden is. Trump and Netanyahu are too much alike and get along too well.

        • Anon

          Trump and Biden are equivalent in this regard. I live in Michigan. Biden’s going to lose the state.

          • Anon

            Trump has literally said he wants to ban Muslims from entering the US. In what universe are they equivalent!?!?!? Good grief.

          • Anon

            Anon @ 2:16 – Arab does not mean Muslim. And if both Trump and Biden are going to fund Israel’s military without little to no human rights conditions, they are equivalents. Your condescension is exactly how the Dems lost the election in 2016, and it will happen again in 2024. You’re not listening to us. You’re just declaring us stupid and expecting our vote.

          • Anonymous

            I have very strong opposition to how Israel has conducted itself since Oct 7 (and before), but I’m sorry – cutting off your nose to spite your face IS stupid.

          • Anon

            I don’t think you owe me your vote and am not trying to earn it, but I think it’s idiotic to stay home and pave the way for someone who is surely going to be further to the right on Middle East politics. As the previous poster said it’s the definition of cutting off your nose to spite your face.
            I also think Biden would lose votes among moderates if he moved to the left on the Middle east, so I’m not convinced (speaking strictly from a strategic perspective, not morally) that it would be the correct move for him.

        • Anon

          Can the entire Democrat party not come up with a candidate who is better on this? People are right to feel betrayed and right to want a candidate who is promising to do better. Career professionals are resigning in protest because they feel betrayed; how do you expect ordinary voters not to feel this way?

          • Anon

            I cannot believe the DNC has failed to groom and highlight a new, palatable candidate who we can all get behind. They have clearly decided to put Harris on the shelf but we had very good candidates running in the Democratic primary for the 2020 election. Why are they not getting press?!!!

          • Anon

            They are not getting press because they are not running. They did not even make a stab at running. Democrats who are in a position to run decided pretty much universally to sit this one out.

    • Anonymous

      At this point I’d just be thrilled if either party could come up with someone under 70.

    • Anonymous

      If trump wins then no. You won’t get to vote in 2028. He’s promised you that.

    • Anonymous

      Here are my draft picks for 2028
      R: Haley, DeSantis
      D: Pritzker, Whitmer

      • Anon

        With any luck, DeSantis will get a couple of cushy board seats where he can’t eff anything up and we’ll never have to see his ridiculous smirk again once he’s out of office.
        Signed,
        Former Floridian

      • Anonymous

        That is a depressing GOP ticket. I am not saying it isn’t the best and brightest of the GOP, it probably is.

      • Trixie

        These are very depressing tickets–especially the Republican ticket.

        And Whitmer for President–not VP.

      • The No Club

        What about Rs who actually criticize Trump/Trumpism like Romney or Sununu? Why would you prefer Haley or DeSantis to them?

  13. Anon

    Is Dark Academia still a look? I remember reading about it here pre-COVID. My middle-schooler’s very cool friend has proclaimed this to be her (the friend’s) look.

    • Anon

      Absolutely! I think any of these “themes” can still be a look that’s updated with current trends. To me this is more of a vibe or mood vs a specific piece.

    • Anon

      Sure it is, but more importantly, who cares if a middle schooler is a few years behind on trends.

    • Anonymous

      Good for friend for knowing what she likes and wearing it with confidence. So many adult women can take a lesson from that.

  14. Florence and Rome hotel recs for March

    I have a surprise business trip to Florence coming up end of Feb – early March, right before my family’s spring break (husband in academia, aligned with local school break). I got approval to take some vacation days after the business part to travel and fly back from Rome. It’s going to be me, my husband, and kid (8).

    I need hotel recs for Florence and Rome, central location (ideally, one room with 2 queen beds, but we do not mind sharing a double bed and have done so recently).

    Due me being immunocompromised, we are Covid (and other virus)-conscious and still don’t dine indoors. I have been to Florence in September and Rome in January. In early March, can I assume that some outdoor dining will be available?

    • Anon

      Just know the worst air on a plane is on the crowded jetway when you’re boarding, then inside the plane before you take off and they turn on all of the air filtering. I do what I can to avoid this part as much as possible.

      • Anon

        My husband recently flew back from
        Europe and said he was the only one on the entire plane to wear a mask. What?! I think I will always wear a quality mask flying, because I don’t even want to catch a cold!

        And yes, he came home with Covid. Don’t know where he caught it, though.

        • Anon

          +1 I plan to always fly with a mask. I used to frequently catch colds on planes, and I’ll never forget catching a bad headcold on the way to a trip and being miserable on the flight home. The pain and pressure was intense, and I cried.

      • Florence and Rome hotel recs for March

        Thanks for the tip!

        We have actually travelled quite a bit internationally during the last couple of pandemic years since our families are in Europe, wearing N95s and also Envo/Flo masks. We actually do not take our masks off on the plane (except lowering mask for quick sips of water once at cruising altitude). Even our kid knows the travel routine by now.
        Just returned from a trip to big European city where we did everything touristy (masked) except indoor dining (only exception was one place where we had dinner at 4pm with absolutely no one in the restaurant and an airfilter right above the table).

        I have a background in virology and actually worked on Sars-1 way back in the early 2000s, so unfortunately have become an expert on all things Covid safety and air. So far, and AFAIK, we belong to the control group that’s never been infected. Not getting sick is amazing, and potentially life saving for me.

        • Anon

          That’s great, it feels unbelievable to go four years avoiding this virus. My husband and I were in that group until 2 weeks ago when I caught it, and then recently he caught it from another source. It’s surreal seeing the test line appear after so many years of blank/negative tests.

          We don’t mask indoors anymore (except on planes and if we go to urgent care), though, so you have a better chance of continuing to avoid

          • Anon

            My son was a unicorn until last week. His first bout with covid was pretty rough despite being vaccinated. He skipped the bivalent booster this fall though, there’s only so much I can nag him as he’s 21 and away in college. He was home when he tested positive – isolation and masks really, really worked in our household. We also have a big air filter (we bought it for smoky air, Californian here) and we put in the hallway outside his room and ran it 24/7.

          • Runcible Spoon

            I, too, was a unicorn until Thanksgiving weekend, when I caught COVID-19 probably during trans-Pacific air travel where I wore a mask, but probably not rigorously during boarding and before the engines were started up. I was one of the unlucky patients who was symptomatic (sore throat, super-congested, coughing hard enough for my tummy to be sore, mild fever) for at least three weeks (!), and my cough did not diminish for about 7-8 weeks. I didn’t get the booster in the fall, because (foolishly) I was trying to time the next day inconvenience of feeling bad; as a result, I experienced eight weeks of inconvenience instead, missed the December holiday season, etc.

        • Anon

          This is really impressive. I assume you also wear masks in the cab, in the airport, etc (not just on the plane)?

          • Florence and Rome hotel recs for March

            We wear masks in all places where air is shared with people. Cabs, airports, museums, shops, other people’s houses, our house when workers come etc.

            Breathing clean air is the key. I was honestly shocked to see my kid’s Flomask filter light grey after a day of walking in the city surrounded by buses, cars etc.

        • Anon

          Yeah, I think high quality masks work better than people think. I avoided it until this past summer and I did everything indoors (except eat) while wearing a KN95. I’d taken probably two dozen plane trips, many of them international, before I caught it. I dined indoors for the first time on the trip where I got it.

        • Anon

          My DH and I avoided covid until December. We had been vaxxed and boosted, and we masked and avoided crowded places. I thought we had some superhuman immunity, but alas, we finally caught it. We don’t even know where. We both WFH, and no one we know had been sick. He had a bad cold for about 5 days. I got far sicker. It was a struggle to get out of bed for 2 weeks, literally no energy. Fortunately, we both made a full recovery. So…never say never!

          • Florence and Rome hotel recs for March

            Yes I’m aware that we are buying time. As knowledge and treatments evolve, maybe there will come a time when an infection is not as scary to people like me.

            I am also aware that we are hugely privileged to be able to WFH, flex schedules, homeschooled our kid for the most part, have an understanding school and friends, and can afford to buy all those different masks.

            Also, for those above that have recently gotten it: I think getting it as few times as possible is also good!

          • Anon

            Yes I got it in summer 2023 (fortunately had a mild case) and although I’m a little nervous about potential long term impacts to the brain and immune system, I think being more than 3 years behind the first people to get it is definitely not nothing. There will be some time for treatments to evolve if it turns out to be a virus like HIV.

      • Anon

        Yeah, flying internationally yet not willing to eat indoors seems like a disconnect to me!

        • Anon

          Nah. Most people have abandoned Covid precautions by now, but in 2021-2022 the majority of people I know (including us) were flying internationally but not eating indoors. We didn’t get it until we resumed indoor dining. Masks work.

          • Anon

            Yeah masks make a huge difference. Healthcare providers wear fit-tested N95s to treat patients at the hospital. They go a long, long way in lower risk settings, even if not fit tested.

    • Anon

      We ate all our meals outside in Florence on spring break in the second week of March in 2022. I think we got lucky with weather but the highs were in the 60s and it was sunny, so it was pretty lovely. Italy has way more of an outdoor dining culture than the US, so I think you’ll be ok finding outdoor dining for the most part.

      We stayed at San Firenze Suites and loved it. It isn’t a true suite, but our kid had a sofa bed and my husband and I had a queen or king bed. They brought us breakfast in our room (a huge spread from the buffet!) because of Covid, not sure if they’ll still do that. Perfect central location.

      I’m jealous! I’ve been all over Italy and I think Florence may be my favorite part. Rome is a close second. They are amazing cities. Don’t miss Gelateria dei Neri in Florence – best gelato I’ve ever had.

    • Anon

      Yeah, I think you’ll likely find some options. I’m also immunocompromised and am considering whether I might be willing to chance a very small restaurant during a case lull. YMMV, but if you’re considering that, you might be able to find some cute hole-in-the-wall that is low risk. I’ve been in places in Paris where only a few tables fit in.

    • A.

      Not sure if you’re still reading but I recently stayed at Hotel Damaso in Rome and it is deeeeelightful! Rooms were perfect, location outstanding, and food was great.

  15. anon

    How is the quality of Evereve’s house brand clothes? I saw a sweatshirt that would be super cute for the weekends but at $88, that is a lot more than I usually spend for that type of item.

    • anon

      Evereve is just TJMaxx with better in store marketing and display. I don’t understand the love for them.

    • Anon

      A day late, but I did a Sephora local pick-up order and they put a large sample of that in my bag. I haven’t used it yet. You could call and ask if they still have those and if you have to do a pick up order to get the sample!

  17. Anon

    Please explain “financial advising” assistance to me like I’m 5. Do you hire a professional? How do you evaluate whether you need one?

    I’ve received several cold calls from “financial advisors” recently, at companies including Morgan Stanley, NY Life, and an independent firm. It seems they want to sell me financial products like life insurance or roll over my 401K. Is this something I should actually be considering? I’m pretty untrusting of cold calls generally. Throughout the years, I’ve been hit up countless times by parents who have college kids who need to make X calls to keep their Cutco job. It seems very exploitative. Is this “financial advising” a similar racket?

    • Davis

      Your instincts are correct. I use a fee-only fiduciary. I’m in my early 40s and check in with my person like every 2-3 years. Search here: https://www.napfa.org/FIND-AN-ADVISOR# The fee-only people are best, to me, since they’re making an hourly rate or set fee on you, rather than them trying to sell you things you might not need.

      • Davis

        And specifically my person reviewed my budget and cash flow, net worth, retirement planning (on track or not), and investments (makes suggestions about asset allocation, but doesn’t actually touch my accounts). They provide a checklist for me to work on, which I really like!

    • Nudibranch

      Anyone can call themself a financial advisor, I believe. Instead, look for someone with the CFP (Certified Financial Planner) designation, as they have to go through an education program and past test(s) to get it. Way back when, when I worked in that industry, it was quite a cachet when someone actually passed their tests, became licensed, and were able to start using that designation. Believe me, they will advertise it if they’ve earned it.

      There are also other licenses/designations indicating expertise, but I’m not up on them anymore. CFP was the big important one at the time

    • anon

      I don’t think a financial advisor is necessary for someone who is savvy about personal finance, can do some basic personal finance modeling (with Excel or using a web tool), and think through their likely future expenses and plan for them. I definitely wouldn’t engage anyone who cold called and was trying to sell me something off the bat.

    • Anonymous

      I have a certified financial planner that charges a fee based on my portfolio (which is not big) that I meet with quarterly. I stayed away from people who were managing wealth because I knew I wouldn’t be in those income brackets. She’s great because she looks at my budget, my retirement, new benefits when I start a job, etc. But she’s also a sounding board for financial goals or even strategies for things like student debt payment. I think like any similar professional you should gel with the person. Mine started because I inherited some mutual funds, IRAs, etc and needed to know how to roll them over.

Back to Top

About

Work with Corporette®

Serious Stuff

work fashion blog press mentions