Corporette.com

Updated: Nov 1, 2018 312 Comments · by

Wednesday’s TPS Report: Calypso Flower Dress

The Personal Shopper (TPS)

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Calypso Flower DressHat tip to commenter AIMS, who mentioned this dress yesterday — I love the vintage vibe, the flattering cut, and the unusual color (at least, orange is unusual for me!). It's at a nice price, too: $118 at French Connection. Calypso Flower Dress icon Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-2)

Sales of note for 9.10.24

Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…

RSS Error: WP HTTP Error: cURL error 60: Issuer certificate is invalid.

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

    • SAlit-a-gator

      Dang it Selia….now I want those shoes too! They are sooo awesome – that little bow just makes them and I love the beige and white color combo. I’m on team “no peep toes to the office” though, so maybe that will be my salvation.

      • PharmaGirl

        I’m on team no peep toes and no platforms. I can’t believe some of the heels I see in the office.

    • seltzer pop

      Agreed! I am in love with today’s pick, but unfortunately do not have an extra $118 for pretty dresses at the moment. How is French Connection with sales?

      • AIMS

        Usually pretty good. One of the main reasons I have not yet bought the dress is because I feel like their stuff goes on sale so frequently that I hate paying full price.

    • MaggieLizer

      Gorgeous! I want a purse that looks like those shoes. But less shoe-like, obviously.

    • NOLA

      Love those shoes! I’m such a sucker for beige/black combinations and Enzo Angiolini shoes fit my foot really well. Surprised that they’re synthetic. Enzo Angiolini are usually leather.

      • a.

        Agreed. Love the shoes, would die if I ever tried to wear them for a full workday.

    • Ekaterin Nile

      I was drooling over those shoes in the catalog Monday night…too bad I have bunions.

    • Anonymous NYer

      Ooh they’re pretty. heel is too high for me. thank goodness because I do not need to be spending more $$ right now.

    • TCFKAG

      Also — can we talk about the shoes the model is wearing and where I can find them on the website???

    • Always a NYer

      That’s exactly what I thought! Let’s hope it doesn’t go to her head =p

      • SAlit-a-gator

        Guys from my high school used to do this all the time. It was no big deal.

        • TCFKAG

          Guys from your high school used to go to AIMS head all the time? How odd. ;-)

          Oh ATL….

          • Always a NYer

            I know I should be able to follow this but I’m unable to, atm. (continues guzzling latte)

          • SF Bay Associate

            NYer, it’s a meme from Above the Law. One of the commenters always says what TCFKAG says, along with the commenter who shouts “First!” at the top of every comment thread. Both stupid and totally lacking in actual contribution. Though ATL was a great source of information during the dark days of paycuts and layoffs in 2009, I have to say that my life has improved since I stopped reading that site regularly.

          • goirishkj

            Yes, once I stopped reading ATL, I became a much happier person. Although my bank account doesn’t like me since I replaced ATL with Corporette :)

          • TCFKAG

            I don’t read them anymore either. It is REALLY not good for your mental health if you are job hunting and reading about “paltry” bonuses (and how bad the market is) simultaneously. I actually think most people who read them are law students. But that’s just my guess.

          • SAlit-a-gator

            I stopped reading ATL after I graduated too, but just couldn’t resist starting that meme this morning! :-P Also agree that ATL is not good for one’s mental health….made me feel very ungrateful for what I have (hope that makes sense).

    • MaggieLizer

      Yes indeed, thanks AIMS! The dress is lovely. I’m a bit disappointed it’s not leopard print, though.

      • AIMS

        It is so totally going to go to my head! ;)

        I do love this dress though and am so glad it’s featured here because it really is kinda perfect, I think. Now that it has Kat’s official seal of approval, I may actually order it rather than just oggle it online.

        • goirishkj

          It’s a great looking dress–please post a review if you order it. Dresses always fit me funny (I’m fairly busty for my frame) so I’m always scared to order without trying it on first. Yes, I know I can return, but I hate messing with returns.

        • Monday

          AIMS was mentioned in the post! But I knew her when–really, I swear! We go way back!

      • a.k.

        I love this dress from the front, but somewhat concern about the description that it ties at waist in the back. For some reason waist ties remind me too much of my teenage dressing years (and not in a good way). Do I just need to get over it?

        • Godzilla

          I HATE that so many beautiful dresses that are well constructed, with excellent fabrics, have waist ties. It looks juvenile to me, too. Like, you spent the time to make something nice, why ruin it at the end with the lazy way to make sure a dress fits. UGH.

        • S in Chicago

          I love this dress and think it would be really flattering. But I’m on team no waist-tie as well. My fear is that it’s going to read maternity to someone.

        • GovtMom

          Tie-waist always makes me think maternity. And for those of us who carry weight in our stomach areas, I think it greatly increases any chances of “when’s the baby due?!” type questions. No, thanks.

          • mamabear

            Yep, me too. After birthing three, I have a permanent mamabelly and wearing something with waist ties would just start rumors about my fourth being on the way.

        • zora

          I just cut the waist ties off and belt them. and this would look amazing with any brown/cognac/tan leather belt.

        • AppealingLawyer

          There is a very thin woman in my office who wears belted shirts with the belt tied to the front in a little knot. It looks really good on her. (Unfortunately, my muffin top would swallow the knot, so not so good for me.)

  3. Networking?

    This would probably have been better for the networking thread but it was too late for that. A person who worked as an intern here when she was a student has asked if she could come back and work here temporarily until she finds a job in her hometown. She was interning here before my department expanded, so most of the people in the department don’t know her. Someone invited her to a happy hour, and she came in, said hi to one of the people she knew and didn’t really make an attempt to introduce herself to anyone else. I feel like she really could have made a minimal effort to say hi and try to mingle a little bit, as it’s not like we’re really hiring at the moment. This was the first time I met her and I have to say, she did not make a very good impression.

    If you were going to start working somewhere and were invited out with people before you officially started, would you make an effort to introduce yourself to the people you didn’t know? Am I expecting too much? This was a pretty small group sitting at one large table that had enough room for her.

    • Former MidLevel

      “If you were going to start working somewhere and were invited out with people before you officially started, would you make an effort to introduce yourself to the people you didn’t know”?

      Yes.

      “Am I expecting too much?”

      No. In fairness, though, she may have been nervous or intimidated.

    • TCFKAG

      Ideally yes — but think about how intimidating the situation must have felt to her. She is (presumably) about 22 and meeting a group of “grown-ups” for the first time in a large, happy group all of whom are having drinks and probably having a good time. If she’s introverted AT ALL, this is probably something of a nightmare scenario for her. And even for the most extroverted of us, it would have been intimidating.

      So I’d give her a pass, at least until she starts work and you get to see if she’s more personable one on one.

    • Blue

      I would give her a pass on this one. I’m just a few years older than that and I’m really introverted and that kind of situation is my worst nightmare. There are many times when I know I’ve made bad first impressions because I just can’t work up the nerve to do that kind of stuff.

    • Networking?

      This isn’t her first job, and the person who invited her seemed like she was trying to encourage this woman to come over and socialize a bit, as they don’t get to see or talk to each other very often. She went to a school for undergrad that is known for networking (I know, because I went there for law school) and she’s involved in a lot of networking organizations. That is partially why it just seemed so odd to me.

      • a.

        Maybe she just had a bad day, or was feeling sick or stressed about something unrelated. I can remember, during a particularly dark period of my undergrad, showing up for events that I Knew I Had To Be At for whatever reason, and being unable to do more than greet people I knew already, then stand there until I could escape. And I’m normally quite outgoing. So yeah. There could be mitigating circumstances.

        So I’d give her a pass for this, and evaluate her based on interacting with her at work.

        • rosie

          I agree. While I would expect better and would try to be a bit more social myself (even though I’d rather not), you never know what’s going on with someone (stress/illness, as a. pointed out), and I wouldn’t let this one interaction affect how you think about her in the future.

    • Anonsensical

      Definitely expecting too much. This is an introvert’s nightmare. While you may think it only takes “minimal effort” to go to a happy hour and introduce yourself to a bunch of strangers, all of whom already know each other and apparently couldn’t care less about your presence, I can tell you that I’m in my 30s and still intimidated by scenarios like that (I’m just much better at pretending I’m not). At 22, I probably wouldn’t have even been brave enough to go, or I’d have felt incredibly uncomfortable and left after 10 minutes. Frankly, I’m surprised that whoever invited her didn’t make the effort to introduce her to people and help put her at ease.

    • 2L

      Please Please Please give her a pass. It is very awkward to make conversation as an intern at a place where you know you’ll not likely be employed. Why would they care to talk to someone who will likely never work there when they came to socialize with their colleagues.

      I went to a happy hour when I was interning. I thought I was doing great making conversation to the other attorneys in my department. However, the attorneys had wanted me to talk to other lawyers who had shown up from an out-of-state law firm. I can guarantee you that if I had talked to these other attorneys, it would have been extremely awkward.

      The next week, because I didn’t make conversation with these lawyers, a meeting was set up with an attorney I didn’t know to lecture me about the importance of networking. For some reason this made me very emotional and I had to concentrate on not crying while being lectured. Not fun.

      • Networking?

        She is already a lawyer. She decided she wanted to quit her current job and asked us if we’d give her some work while she looks for something new. We said yes. She attends networking events regularly and is well connected. I think if I didn’t already know this about her, the whole situation wouldn’t have bothered me as much. I will certainly give her a chance when she starts, of course.

    • oh.so.tired

      You’re definitely expecting too much. It’s not easy for most people to break into a large group when all the other members of the group know each other well. Since she was the new girl, all eyes were on her (as evidenced by your own observation of her), and that is intimidating.

      • oh.so.tired

        Also, if I were in your position I would have gone up and introduced myself to her :) Now if THEN she ignored me, then I would be bothered. Otherwise, I’m not sure why this seems to be bothering you?

    • Nan

      Maybe this isn’t the relationship you want to have, but this seems like an awesome opportunity for you to informally mentor someone starting out in her career.

    • karenpadi

      I would give her a pass. Before I started my first law firm job, I was invited to the firm’s Holiday Party. It was at a partner’s house and everyone (of course) knew everyone else. It was very intimidating. I had to buy a brand new outfit that I couldn’t afford and was the only one to bring a hostess gift (the hostess did not look impressed by the “OMG I actually spent $20” bottle of wine). Awkward.

      If not for one or two people who took me under their wings and guided me through, steered me away from people I should avoid, and introduced me to people I should talk to, I would have never survived.

      Situations like a happy hour are the worst for a newbie. Don’t judge her by her performance there. If you like, judge her by her other qualities. You don’t need to give her a job.

      • AppealingLawyer

        Tee hee… I did the same thing with bringing a bottle of wine to a the head of the office’s summer party!

      • TCFKAG

        I also went to my firm’s christmas party before I started working there. Until I found the HR director to introduce me around — I must have looked like a deer in the headlights. I almost turned around and left.

  4. petite atty

    Off-topic.

    Spotted a judicial law clerk wearing boat shoes (like Sperry top-siders) with a skirt suit and nude hose. In court.

    • TCFKAG

      I shudder to think at some of the stuff I wore when I worked for a judge. The only rule when we went to hear arguments was that we had to wear a suit jacket — so we would just throw a suit jacket over whatever we were wearing that day.

      I was young! I didn’t know any better! People probably thought I looked a fool.

      • Catelyn

        When I was in college I interned one summer at a law firm. It was pretty casual and I stayed in my cubicle all day, so I wore flip-flops (Now, I would never advise doing this!)No one ever noticed until one day, a partner who was an alumnus of my college came by and invited me to court to hear him give an argument. And that is the story of how I went to court in flip-flops. I was very embarrased but could do nothing about it all day.

    • nona

      Sounds like commuting shoes. Maybe she meant to bring other shoes but forget. Maybe she brought the shoes and forgot to change. Maybe she has a foot injury and those were the best option she had on short notice. Shrug. Gets the benefit of the doubt unless it was a chronic thing

      • springtime

        That was my first thought- commuting shoes and she forgot her good pair. Or one of the heels broke on her work shoes. I’m sure she’s embarrassed about it if that’s the case.

      • cfm

        Love these threads where we get to bond by publicly shaming other women, especially the young clerks. So much more fun than sympathizing that like someone said, since she got everything else right she probably forgot the heels she usually packs in her bag and was praying the whole time that no one would notice too much. Not only does someone notice, but post online on a blog that has gained a huge readership, and that by all accounts gets recommended to young women (esp lawyers) in the work place. Someone said it in the weekend thread, but imagine seeing a comment picking you apart here?

        Other things I saw today: fat woman (grosss) someone with pimples (ewwww) someone who had bags under her eyes (um make up please, I dont want to see that it is offensive to me)

        Corporette: a community of very supportive women, unless you look like sh*t and are embarrasing the rest of us. (TM)

        • petite atty

          My thought is, should I say something? Since it is not the first time I have seen her wear them, I am wondering if she thinks they are appropriate. I would hate to see someone who is doing everything else right consistently make a bad impression over such a small thing.

          I guess I wanted to confirm that it was inappropriate and not something that I was just being weird about.

          • cfm

            Sorry then. There just have been a lot of “this person I saw looked terrible” comments lately, and one time it was about my close friend who I recommended corporette too, and I still feel terrible about it. It really hurt her.

            As for telling the clerk, it would depend on whether you work with her, or just see her often I think.

          • TCFKAG

            This is why I would avoid any very specific “this person looked bad” posts (btw..it wasn’t the DA or PD post from the other day was it — because I thought that one seemed kind of awful…plus, until you’re a DA or a PD you have NO IDEA how much time you spend in court…anyway moving on).

            I only do identifiable things when I’m going to say you look awesome — like you’re wearing a sparkly blazer. :-) (Hi sparkly blazer lady and/or her friend!) But seriously — be careful people!

          • TCFKAG

            Also — on the topic of telling her. Since I presume you don’t even know her — I’d let it go. You have no idea what her issue is, maybe she has planter fasciitis and is trying to cope the best she can. But either way, the judge is her boss, and if the judge has no problem with what she’s wearing — then that’s that for now.

          • Anon

            What in the world would you say? I think your shoes are ugly with your outfit? I think your shoes are inappropriate? I am confused…are you her boss?

            In case you are wondering: if I ever received an unsolicited comment from a stranger about my clothing, attire, hair, whatever, I would glare at them and make them feel as ackward as possible.

            I do not understand in what universe this is any of your business.

          • Anonymous

            Oh, precious. I’m a law clerk, and I’m wearing running shoes with my dress clothes. Why? Because I have medical problems and can barely walk. I can sort of get around if I have really comfy, supportive tennies on. I am in pain, all day. I have bleeding ulcers from taking ibuprofin. I make $40k and am spending about $200-300/month in copays for PT, appointments, etc. I’m a broke, cranky, limping mess, and it’s all I can do to get my work done.

            You’re not her boss. You have no idea what’s going on in her life. Why would you even worry about it?

          • Ruby

            The answer is obviously no. Here in Seattle I call people that act like this ‘uptight seattlites.’ They aren’t inappropriate by any standard other than yours. They aren’t sexy, or open-toed, or such. You really need to realize this. I am pregnant with swollen feet plus a painful toe injury and have been wearing the same ugly loafers for months. Now pants don’t fit, so I need to wear dresses, which presents a huge shoes problem. Yes, I will know they look stupid. So what. The mostly males I work with don’t even notice. It doesn’t reflect on my work, it is a physical issue. Some people prefer or need comfort over a sassy fashion magazine appearance. Seriously, mind your own business, and years down the road when you’ll had challenges in your life, you’ll be glad you did. Sorry if this sounds harsh, but if you approached me with something like this, you’d get a New York tirade on the spot.

            Which did happen last week… was in public park in my urban neighborhood with dog brushing her with husband and friends. Passive agressive lady on bike rides up and starts asking why we had our dog outside on a windy day and were brushing her in public. Rather than just stating her view that she didn’t like it. Spouse and I lost it on her. I said it sounded like she was a better fit for the suburbs and should move out of the city, as people who live in apartments don’t have yards and public parks are our outdoor space. We asked if she was allergic (no) and she confirmed she just didn’t like it. Then we started laughing in her face til she left. People generally need to mind their own business, and if not, at least be direct about your view/request.

        • b23

          I don’t think anyone has been mean on this thread at all. The OP just said it as a fact without commentary. None of the replies have been mean.

          • Anonymous

            Still sounded judge-y even if it wasn’t mean. The follow-ups have clarified that the OP was wondering whether to say anything but that wasn’t the way the original comment came across.

          • a.

            It was judge-y, whether or not the OP intended it to be. I really feel what cfm was saying–you all know I love Corporette, but sometimes (frequently) I think the community can come down way, way too hard on anyone who deviates from the accepted dress code. There’s such a disconnect between support and empathy for marital/emotional/health problems, and all of the judgment that rains down on women for wearing bright nail polish/red boots/not-perfect outfits.

            For me, posts cross the line when they go from general (“You should think about what kinds of shoes are appropriate for your workplace. Here are some examples of what works, and here are some things you might want to steer away from. Happy shopping!”) to specific (“She was wearing boat shoes in court. My god.”). I never think it’s appropriate when commenters call out specific outfits. Like someone else said, good lord, what if you read Corporette and recognized yourself? That would be so, so hurtful. And I’m sure every one of us has had sub-par sartorial days.

          • TCFKAG

            I agree with this. And lets be honest, there are more days than not that I look a holy mess — so I try hard not to judge! :-)

            But if someone does post about me — you know I’m going to get a little thrill out of it. It will be advanced trolling come home to roost!

        • anon

          I’m confused: don’t we have huge long posts and discussions about what not to wear? Isn’t that the point of this blog? Is it really that different to say “I see women wearing X and it’s inappropriate for work” than “I saw a WOMAN wearing X and it’s inappropriate for work”? Where is the line?

          • TCFKAG

            Well, I think one key distinction is trying to keep it from becoming identifiable to the PERSON. For example, a few days ago, I know someone posted about a particular person in a particular outfit arguing in a particular court, and said person could EASILY have figured out who they were. And lets be honest — we all know what people on this site think is “appropriate” for court — that person was just being snarky.

            Now — if you’ve just started at a new workplace and people are all wearing peep-toes and you wonder “can I wear peep-toes, is this appropriate” — then yeah, I think we can talk about that. But its when you’re not posting to start a discussion but just to be b*tchy that I think people cross a line.

          • petite atty

            Whoa… I did not mean to start something. :)

            I appreciate the comments and agree, in hindsight, that I probably shouldn’t have posted something so specific. I do know this person casually and would want to be told if it were me.

            But I am with anon in being confused in where the line is. I would feel bad if I recognized my outfit on here, but I also think there’s a take-away from that kind of experience. I am guilty of wearing heels above 3 inches to work, for example. Prior to reading Corporette, I had no idea that my footwear was inappropriate.

            I do think though, that our perceptions of what constitutes professional and appropriate dress, are based on normative judgments.

          • TCFKAG

            Well, I think this is a long-running and on-going discussion (didn’t start today and probably won’t end today). And we all walk the grey area in the middle differently — but I guess we just try to negotiate it the best we can.

            And while I think its a good instinct to want to help a friend or acquaintance from making a fashion faux-pas — I’m not sure you really can. You have to let people make their own decisions sometimes. (Oh, and if you can walk in them steadily, I think you can wear heels in excess of 3 inches, but hey…I’m in the minority. And I can’t. :-P)

          • cfm

            The post wasn’t oh can you wear boat shoes to work? It was a law clerk, wearing a skirt suit, with hose, with boat shoes and a scarlet letter. There is just no need at all to indentify people. The helpfullness of it is none, since you could easily right it so it didn’t point out someone.

          • Mrs. Piggle Wiggle

            I agree. I happen to think there are very few, if any, excuses for why you are wearing improper and unprofessional shoes to court. In the office or getting to work — totally different. If you do have an injury or a foot problem, I think you should call the court clerk or the law clerk to give a heads up. I happened to clerk for a judge that would have hyperventilated at such casualness. Attire in the courtroom is important.

          • Left coaster

            Mrs. PW: But the “offender” here IS the law clerk, if I’m reading this post correctly. I’m sorry, but if someone is a law clerk in a courtroom and that clerk’s boss doesn’t have a problem with that clerk’s attire, that is the beginning and end of the matter. Judge’s courtroom, judge’s rules. Also, I was a law clerk back in the day and the staff would have thought it totally ridiculous if anyone called in advance of an argument to discuss their footwear.

          • rosie

            Agree with Left coaster. If the judge doesn’t mind her shoes, then who cares if you do.

        • DillyBar

          I’m not sure that responding to perceived (whether intended or not) snark with snark is a helpful way of addressing your perceived problem with the comment.

        • lucy stone

          cfm, did you see me, because I am presently all THREE of those things.

      • petite atty

        It is at least the third time I have seen this particular person wear them to court.

        • Blonde Lawyer

          I started my first real lawyer job with a broken big toe. I had to wear wide flats the whole first month or so AND I didn’t have an obvious limp at the time. I made sure to comment frequently about my broken toe so those I worked with knew why I was wearing such awful shoes (and I apologized specifically to anyone I accompanied to Court) but I certainly didn’t run up to every client, opposing counsel, clerk, etc. and say “excuse my shoes, I have a broken toe.” Also, while my toe was still wide as heck something too gross to mention on here happened to my toenail, because of the broken toe and I couldn’t wear closed toed shoes for 4 days. Luckily they were all in office not court but I was rocking flip flops.

          For that reason alone, whenever I see anyone with really strange shoe choices who otherwise look like they understand proper attire, I assume they have an injury.

          • Blonde Lawyer

            And for anyone ever in my situation, Anne Kleine sport makes a nice black ballet flat with a wide round toe that I found toward the end of my ugly shoe stint. I wore them none stop until it was totally better. Regular flats were all too snug in the toe. Also, don’t try to squeeze into regular shoes (which I did for my first day or two.) I hurt the toe worse and irreparably stretched out the shoe.

            The eye opening moment where I switched to medically appropriate shoes was when a coworker said “I know you are trying to wear professional shoes to look professional but people are going to question your judgment and common sense if they see you limping around in heals with a broken toe.” So true.

          • TCFKAG

            Just a couple months ago I had an in-grown toe-nail that had to be cut out by a podiatrist. I was REALLY glad I didn’t have to go to court during that period. Not sure what I would have done.

            At least I did have a noticeable limp. I would have definitely played up the limp (lol.)

          • Ruby

            I also had the podiatrist remove part of nail. Was supposed to fix pain, still hurts all the time in any shoes but the overwide loafers I got. Clearly petite attorney hasn’t experienced the joys of working with foot pain yet or wouldn’t even consider saying anything.

        • May

          Even at the risk of appearing goody-goody I would like to contribute my $0.02 on this.

          I agree it’s rather awful to describe people here to the point that they could be identified easily.
          This blog is indeed dedicated to fashion, but given its large readership, it does not necessarily follow that everyone on here should be in agreement about what is acceptable or unacceptable attire.
          We’re all human, but I think it helps to always be as kind or forgiving (and civil) as possible, cyber-anonymity notwithstanding.

      • CA Atty

        Yes. I even once left the house for work wearing boots that I had thrown on to run outside and get something. Luckily, when I got to work I realized I had left my heels from the day before in my office. The pants were a bit short for heels of that height, but it kept me from wearing completely wrong color work boots all day. Stuff happens.

        PS I know many of you have much cruddier weather than Northern California is currently experiencing, but we have not really had rain all winter and it’s really coming down here. Due to crashes and idiots it took me over an HOUR this morning to drive the 20 minutes into work! Between people getting on the freeway going 30mph and the 5 car pileup on my exit, not to mention the power being out at home when I got up I am already read for my nap! (And here it’s only 9:30!)

    • cfm

      Love these threads where we get to bond by publicly shaming other women, especially the young clerks. So much more fun than sympathizing that like someone said, since she got everything else right she probably forgot the heels she usually packs in her bag and was praying the whole time that no one would notice too much. Not only does someone notice, but post online on a blog that has gained a huge readership, and that by all accounts gets recommended to young women (esp lawyers) in the work place. Someone said it in the weekend thread, but imagine seeing a comment picking you apart here?

      Other things I saw today: fat woman (grosss) someone with pimples (ewwww) someone who had bags under her eyes (um make up please, I dont want to see that it is offensive to me)

      Corporette: a community of very supportive women, unless you look like shit and are embarrasing the rest of us. (TM)

      • anon

        Ugh, please just shut up. There’s nothing worse to me when someone tries to jump in to point out something is inappropriate and does it in a hugely offensive way. So just stop it right now because you are way out of line. Being fat =/= violating a dress code. Even if it is inappropriate to shame people publicly about dressing in the wrong way for work, attempting to equate it to someone’s size only shows your own anti-fat prejudice. Here’s an idea – make your point without offensive analogies.

        Thanks.

        • cfm

          Um I am overweight, that was the sarcasm part, it was not an analogy. In no way am I anti-fat. The woman wasn’t violating a dress code because the poster doesn’t work with her. The OP was just transferring her own opinion about what looks good and (i thought at first) attempting to do a public shaming. As someone who has frequently been subject to that kind of shaming (fat is bad, you cant wear pencil skirt if you are over an 8) I made that comparison.

          My response was over the top, but I am still angry from when a commentator did this to my friend (who was a witty infrequent poster). I realize I rather oversensitive, but someone just did this over the weekend too and I find it so unneccesary to point out people during the day who aren’t the models of perfection.

          • Bonnie

            Many of the discussions on this blog focus on what is work appropriate. I think most of us would agree that boat shoes are not appopriate professional wear. I have no problem with bringing up specific examples of what we’ve seen. When I saw a defense counsel in court wearing stripper shoes (tall clear platforms with a lucite heel), I snapped a picture covertly and laughed about it with my friends. You may not be able to control your weight, or pimples, but you do choose how you dress.

          • a.

            Bonnie, I’m sure you won’t see this at this late date, but really? Are you bragging about maliciously gossiping with your friends? Is that something that mature, strong women with the right priorities brag about doing?

        • Seattleite

          Actually, I happen to think it’s a great deal worse to call someone out under a handle like “anon.” At least cfm posted her opinion under her standard handle that she uses regularly.

          And, “shut up” isn’t AT ALL offensive. Uh-huh.

      • Herbie

        I’m with you, CFM. I’ve been bothered for a long time by the “You guys will never guess what monstrosity I just saw some poor woman wearing” comments. Makes me sad for all of us.

  5. Catelyn

    Tiny rant — when I send out an email asking if someone is around and can do X today, I’d reeally appreciate a reply with yes or no. Otherwise I ask someone else, and then I end up with three people who all get back to me at 3pm saying they did it! (this happened yesterday.) Grr.

          • CA Atty

            I hate the phone, email is so much easier and more convenient…but I’m figuring out that at my new workplace the phone is 100% quicker and easier. In my old workplace, don’t even try calling, you’ll never ever get a response. Email and you have a response in 10 seconds.

    • RR

      Similar annoyance – I was out of the office Friday, emailed something to Partner’s admin to print for him. He was out, so paralegal printed it for him instead. At 2 PM on Monday, Partner’s admin emails “I just saw this…did you want me to do something?” Grrrr

      • Godzilla

        How is this annoying? Isn’t the admin performing due diligence by responding to the email?

        • Guest

          I’d be annoyed if I specifically emailed someone asking them to do something, and they got back to me with, “did you want me to do something?”

          A helpful response would have been asking if someone did it while he was out, or if he still needs to print it.

    • MJ

      Catelyn–This is called “diffusion of responsibility” and it’s not their fault–your email communication is the issue.

      In fact, I bet the multiple people that duplicated the work are far more annoyed than you. They had other stuff to do that day, but dropped it to work on your project. My two cents.

      If you want something done, don’t email three people separately, each of whom might assume the other is handling. Try to connect with one, via phone or via their assistant to tell that person you will be sending him/her a project that needs to be done today. Then email that one, and cc the others, asking the first person if he/she cannot handle by X time, to loop in the other people. Then no duplication of work, and ONE person is responsible for making sure it happens (either him/herself or via colleagues).

      Also, if someone sent me an email telling me to reply yes/no by a certain time, I would think that person could use a little brushing up on their manners. You can pick up the phone or speak with the person’s assistant to find out if someone is around or available. If there’s a lot of instruction involved, you can call first to check availability, and then send the email. There are other ways to get things done besides barking “Make this happen and respond to me by X:XX time” emails.

  6. Litigation to In House

    I think has been discussed before, but I would love advice from you ladies who have made the transition from a firm to in house counsel… What kind of experience should you be focusing on now to make yourself a competitive candidate?
    I am a 4th year associate at a small (15 lawyer firm) in a small city/big town (college town, 100,000 people). We are the biggest firm in town…but obviously 15 lawyers is small. I have a VERY general civil practice – family law, employment, corporate litigation, corporate transactional…you name it.
    I also live very near a very large city (in the south).

    I am happy where I am, but not 100% sure that litigation at a firm is a long term dream for me. I have always pictured myself as corporate counsel after an as-yet-to-be-determined period of time at a firm. So, with all of that said, how did you make the transition? Any specific areas that I should be focusing on? Am I hurting my chances to go corporate by practicing in very non corporate areas (such as family law?)

    • Selia

      I think a lot depends on the size of the company. For example, I work at a large public company and the legal department is structured almost like a mini law firm. There are distinct practice areas given the nature of our business, and then a few more general corporate positions. Usually when the legal department here hires, it is for a very specific open spot (i.e., someone with regulatory experience in our industry, an SEC specialist, etc.). Smaller companies may be more general in their hiring. One main reason that we will hire another lawyer is that the area of expertise has become such that it will be cheaper for us to hire an in house lawyer to handle many issues as opposed to continually having to pay outside counsel. In response to one of your questions, I do think it would be hard to go in house at a large company if you are practicing in family law or something similar. If your goal is to go in house, then I would try to find something that would be useful to a company, such as a specialty in HR/Comp/employment or SEC/Corporate Governance or M&A, etc. Just my opinion based on our company’s hiring practices!

      • Herbie

        Example: Someone tried to lure one of my colleagues to a CLE the other day by promising that Oracle’s Senior Counsel for European Data Privacy would be there.

    • Herbie

      Selia’s right. Totally depends on the company. I also work at a large public company and because our legal department is so small, we’re generalists. I do everything (negotiate contracts, oversee litigation, draft internal policies, etc.). No way I could have prepared myself for this in private practice. My now-employer was looking for something intangible when they hired me– willingness to learn and tackle tasks with which I was wholly unfamiliar.

      That being said, when I was at my old firm, the labor lawyers really seemed to have a lock on going in-house earlier in their careers. Straight up litigators / trial lawyers generally had to practice much longer (10 years at least) in order to make the transition.

  7. FP Angie

    Just wanted to follow-up and let everyone know I KILLED it at the half-marathon. Beat my former time by 16 minutes+. It felt great!

    • TCFKAG

      I assume it looks shorter because its a different model. Color wise, I’d guess its a website issue, but I don’t know which website would be truer to color!

      • Maru

        This is great to see on a model whose legs are probably more like mine (super long!). Regretfully, this dress becomes a “no” for me. I was hoping it would be a work option, but in the Amazon listing it just screams “summer weekend picnic.” Or maybe the Amazon model should be wearing a size up?…

    • wawa

      I’m pretty sure I tried this dress on at Bloomingdale’s, and it was nowhere near work appropriate. Flimsy, thin, clingy material, and short!

  9. Bunkster

    For those of you in the Boston area, were you like me last night… fingers crossed that there would be no power at the office?

    • TCFKAG

      I was at Stephanie’s on Newbury when the power went out. It was cray-cray in the Back Bay trying to get to the T. Almost got hit by, like, three cars! :-)

      But since my office is in the Financial District, I knew I had not much hope!

    • PharmaGirl

      No longer in the Boston area but was in tears looking at my computer last night because I met my husband at TC’s Lounge. :(

    • R in Boston

      Hopeful, but not in luck. On the plus side, my train ran express from Park to Kenmore on the way home last night. And I got a seat!

    • momentsofabsurdity

      If I worked in the city, this is what I would have been hoping for. Sadly, all this means is that I’m going to have to cab it tonight to meet my friends for drinks.

  10. Niktaw

    After yesterday’s comments on her pose, I cannot shake the feeling that the model is in the restroom and is about to sit on the toilet.

  11. Nevadan

    Just for fun, I designed a portfolio of fashions just for the first lady. It all started in a CLE course when I was bored. I prepared detailed color sketches with fabric information, and I gave them to her at a rope line greeting after a speech. My general feeling is that they were ignored . But today at the White house ceremony she seemed to be wearing a suit similar to my concepts – but I thought the color – lavendar – was too old-lady. (This similarity to my designs pleases me a whole lot.) When seen from the back, however, the jacket fit was too tight, especially at the waitline and across the upper back.

    It brings home the point that your wardrobe is only as good as the fit! Men are so lucky to have such ready access to tailoring….

    • Catelyn

      Wait, really?? You gave your fashion sketches to First Lady? That’s so cool! Way to go! This really impresses me. I would never have the guts to do that.

    • K in NYC

      haha you are welcome to design such for me any time, yet the trick would be finding things that are similar to the designs for under $40 an item (at the very max) lol

  12. Help!

    Anyone want to play Life Coach for me?

    I’m trying to decide between my Dream Job and my Dream Location. Dream Job is a government thing in Big East Coast City, where I live now. I’d work my butt off, but in work I really want to do. The pay is pretty lousy for BECC, and it would force my family to move to a cheaper apartment in a much worse location; it also doesn’t come with maternity benefits for me to have my hoped-for second baby. We have no family support in BECC (or on the east coast, generally) and are staring down the barrel of school decisions, which are quite complicated and expensive.

    Dream Location is on the West Coast; is very close to my whole extended family and many friends; and would come with a job similar to my current job. The pay is excellent, the benefits are great, and it would allow my family to have a life that we want — in a house, with good schools and great weather. I don’t love the job, but I don’t hate it, either.

    What decision would you make? How would you decide?

      • Godzilla

        Ditto. We work to live, not live to work. Enjoy your life and hopefully, you’ll find a Dream Life in your Dream Location.

        • oh.so.tired

          Well said, Godzilla. I agree. Go for the Dream Location and enjoy your life.

    • SAlit-a-gator

      A couple of years ago I would have said Dream Job. Been there done that. Go with the Dream Location and enjoy your life, network, and you may find a dream Job at the Dream Location in a couple of years (but you have to be there to land it!).

    • Emily I

      I’m a person who values quality of life – being near to family, having access to good schools, a nicer house, etc. – so the decision would be easy for me. But I think you need to ask yourself whether passing on dream job would cast a shadow over being in dream location. Similarly, would you resent dream job once you had it because of the sacrifices you’d have to make to have it?

    • Another Zumba Fan

      Dream location. I grew up in a military family and as an adult it’s important to me to be able to choose where I live solely based on location and lifestyle. Bloom where you’re planted.

    • OP

      Thanks everyone — this is helpful. I’m agonizing so much over this, but your responses in some ways make it seem easy.

      I think Emily’s comment about resenting the dream job is well-put. I think that at the end of the day, if I take the dream job, I’ll resent it for trapping me in BECC for another 3-5 years. (There’s a minimum time commitment for the job.) I think I’ll always miss BECC and wonder what the Dream Job might have been like — but when I think about living in a tiny crappy apartment, without enough money and with a terrible commute and with my parents 3000 miles away, it makes me think that I’d be an idiot to stay. No Dream Job could justify those compromises, I think — at least, not at this point in my life.

      Being a grown up is hard, y’all :)

      • AIMS

        I also vote for the dream location. Esp. because you want to have a second child – that is not the kind of goal you can put on the back burner while you do your 3-4 years at the dream job and it sounds like it would already be difficult to be financially comfortable on the dream job salary without the additional expense of a second baby.

        Plus, you never know what job you will actually end up loving. I currently work in a field I had little interest in while in law school and didn’t really consider for myself when planning my career. But after accidentally ending up where I am, I have to say I really, really love it! I find it much more interesting and rewarding than I ever anticipated and I can’t imagine doing very much else now. So, you never know if the dream location also turns into a dream job down the line.

      • CA Atty

        I will echo dream location. I took a job in dream location even though it wasn’t dream job and I really love it. I am much happier in dream location. (Of course, I wasn’t comparing it to dream job, it was just A job that wasn’t the suck-fest of my old job.)

    • Ruby

      Dream Location! Spouse and I got so sick of NYC we came unemployed to west coast and got good great jobs soon after, 3 years later I got dream job here. Couldn’t be happier.

    • K in NYC

      location… the job can end any time but the location and people there are permanent. Plus the job is solid if nothing else and you can always work to make it better or to find a better local position!

  13. LawyrChk

    Is it a Monday? It’s 10:30 AM and I’ve already caught two [facepalm-type] errors I made that went out to clients already. One blatant typo (thanks to too much editing on a 2-sentence email) and one drafting screw-up that the other side caught and asked about. Both completely my fault and not caught even though I checked both before I sent them out. Darn it.

    • TCFKAG

      I try to take these moments and store them in my mind. Then when someone else makes a face-palm error that I notice, I remind myself of them.

      It helps it keep it all in perspective, and frankly, I think the world would be a better place if we all did that.

      BTW — neither of those sound really all that major. :-) Annoying, yes, but not major.

      • Typos Are My Nemeses

        Best typo I’ve seen (several times) is someone leaving out the “l” in “public” when writing “public relations” — spell check doesn’t catch that one.

        • found a peanut

          Best one I’ve heard is an email, typed on a Blackberry, that referenced Blackrock (the bank). Spellcheck doesn’t recognize “Blackrock” and autocorrected it to a two-word phrase that is substantially less safe for work….

        • PollyD

          In my field, I am fond of “clinical trails” and “gene desserts” (really gene deserts, areas of the genome in which there are no discernable genes). And “public” health is another one we have to watch out for.

        • LawyrChk

          Lol. I have seen many “statues” of frauds as well. But thanks! You are making me feel better! Just so frustrating to find mistakes in documents AFTER you’ve checked them and hit send.

        • jcb

          I once filed a brief with the Third Circuit of the Untied States of America. :-)

        • Typos Are My Nemeses

          The Santorum campaign apparently sent out an email to day about the candidate’s “pubic schedule”. Oops.

  14. Susan

    Pre-Peepee Pose (how’s that for alliteration?) aside, I love the dress! AIMS, you are going to help me wreck my budget this month!

  15. MelD

    Random poll of the day-

    Staycations, yes or no?

    I have to admit I am not a fan. People tend to think I am really weird if I am just ready for time off but don’t want to go home and do nothing. Unless I am going on an actual vacation, I just end up thinking about work and it is just way too easy for people to access me, making it not really any sort of vacation. I tend to work enough that I can get comp time if I need a day here or there, and I’d rather do that. My current job has a pretty high payout limit for vacation if I leave. I supposed if I was planning on quitting and exceeded the cap, then I might consider it just to get paid. I have done this in the past at jobs that don’t pay for accrued vacation.

    • TCFKAG

      I vote a solid NO on staycations. Here’s what happens when my husband and I take staycations. Homeboy can’t sit still for more than five minutes, so he ends up tinkering around the house all day everyday no matter what. And I just end up feeling even lazier then before.

      And we never do the fun things we SHOULD do in the city where we live. Instead we end up, like, painting a bedroom or something.

      I like to go away — at least to a local location.

    • Catelyn

      I think the key to a staycation is treating it like a real vacation. Plan out your whole day with activities and tell everyone you’re not answering your blackberry because you’re on vacation. Go to museums, the symphony, a good restaurant, and enjoy yourself!

      That said, it sounds like you’d just rather not go on a vacation, which is fine too. Do whatever will make you happiest in the long run. Just don’t forget to take care of yourself along the way.

      • MelD

        Oh- I love vacations! My current city doesn’t have a whole lot to do, which is part of the problem. It actually takes 2-3 hours minimum to get anywhere I’d want to go, so it usually requires an overnight stay.

    • anon

      People do seem to think it’s weird, and I don’t know why. I would love a few days off so I can just catch up on my life and rest. Traveling is great, but it’s not always restful. Also, it would be nice to see what my city looks like during the day. It makes me sad that work cultures frown upon “staycations.” :(

      • PollyD

        A couple of days, yes, a week, well, I think I’d rather go somewhere. On the other hand, one of my friends did a week-long staycation and decided she would do something physical every day. So she went to yoga, martial arts classes, even horseback riding. She really enjoyed it. I think the key, as someone said above, is to schedule things.

        On the other hand, sometimes you just need to putter around the house and watch crap tv. At least I do.

      • SC

        Why tell work where you’re going, or that you’re not going anywhere? If the vacation days are yours, they don’t have to know more than, “I’ll be out of the office for vacation that day and will have limited access to email.”

        On that note, some of the best advice my career-woman mom gave to me is to be as vague as possible when you were making time for yourself or your family. Instead of saying, “I’ve got to make it to my kid’s ballet performance,” you say, “I’m not available at that time. How about Thursday?”

      • May

        I love love love staycations. But then I love spending time at work, and frankly, there’s so much I would love to have the time to do/see around home…
        Agreed, other people tend to find it weird (or maybe they’re just a teeny bit jealous; not something everyone can do, after all!)

        • May

          Geez, the things I type! I love spending time at *home*.

          Makes the whole comment come off totally bizarre!

    • Always a NYer

      As much as I love jetting off on vacation, there’s nothing like spending the entire day in bed watching trashy tv and surfing the web. The key, I’ve found, to enjoying the “staycation” is to turn off as much of the outside world as possible and let people know you won’t answer them until X day. I find that when I do that, I’m able to relax and enjoy doing nothing. For context, I’d take a night in over a night out when given the choice. It’s fun to get dressed up and see people and be out on the town all night, but it’s so much nicer vegging out in your PJs with a good book and fresh baked cookies on the couch =)

    • phillygirlruns

      yes to staycations. we did this a couple years ago when i was so burnt out that the idea of vacation/traveling was stressful (but we’d have to pack clothes! and then UNPACK when we got back!). yes, we did take some time to do fun day trips and see local attractions (six flags, italian market, museums), but that wasn’t the point to me. the best part was just getting to sleep in, have leisurely breakfasts and time with my dogs, read books, and that kind of thing. i didn’t tell anyone we were staying home and didn’t check my blackberry any more than i would have if we were in, say, paris or whatever.

      • Blonde Lawyer

        I try to tack on an extra day at the beginning and end of a trip just for the packing/unpacking/picking up pets stuff. Usually I just end up working. :(

    • MissJackson

      I took my first ever staycation last August. Spur of the moment, my Big Thing at work slowed down, and the Big Partner went away for 10 days. My husband was really busy at work at the time, so there was no way that he could get away for a vacation, and our vacation budget is not really enough for a “his, hers, & ours” vacation, so I didn’t want to go anywhere by myself either.

      So I stayed home from work for a full week. It was glorious.

      The key was not telling anyone that I wasn’t going out of town. I told my secretary to tell anyone who called that I was “on vacation” and set up an out-of-office email response. This was extra easy because I knew that the Big Partner would not be calilng from his vacation. I didn’t lie to my friends in the office, but I basically told them that I was taking a staycation but didn’t really think that was relevant info so to please keep in on the DL.

      I did a mix of things — productive stuff around that house that I was never going to get to (see also: I’m a cleaning lady holdout), fun stuff (mostly outdoorsy stuff – took the dog hiking, etc), and relaxing stuff (watching a lot of bad tv). Basically I pretended that I didn’t have a job for a week.

      For me, the staycation actually worked better without my husband. It was that “alone time” that I never, ever get, and I cherished every minute of it. Plus, I just set the “reset” button on my grumpiness at work, which was great because the following months were completely insane.

      And, instead of coming back to work exhausted from a day of travel, with all of my stuff still in suitcases, and the house in disarray, I went back the next week feeling completely prepared and refreshed (both mentally and physically).

    • J

      I like to take a random “mental health” day (actually am taking one today) but I don’t usually take more than a day off. However, about once a year I have a family member come visit me, and then I take the whole week off and we do fun and awesome things. It’s great.

    • Susan

      Love ’em. Hate the name, more than I hate “preggo” for “pregnant.” TTH to be cute.

    • L

      I am a yes on staycations. I usually take a few days after the holidays so I can clean up AND unwind. I take a day and just chill out at home, one day for a few projects around the house, and then a spa day. Sometimes I’ll sign up for some classes at the gym to get me out. It’s not the same as a “regular” vacation, but I like being able to get things done around the house and not try to cram things into my regular work week.

    • L

      I am a yes on staycations. I usually take a few days after the holidays so I can clean up AND unwind. I take a day and just chill out at home, one day for a few projects around the house, and then a spa day. Sometimes I’ll sign up for some classes at the gym to get me out. It’s not the same as a “regular” vacation, but I like being able to get things done around the house and not try to cram things into my regular work week.

      I also do it while my SO is still working. This way I can do things I want to do without having to be accountable to someone else.

    • Blonde Lawyer

      I’ve noticed that staycations are frowned upon in my area too. They seem to be okay if you have out of town guests visiting but you are more likely to be “on call.” People seem to understand when you go away but not so much when you just say “I’m on vacation this week.” “Where are you going?” “Oh, just staying around here.” It implies that you just need a break which for whatever reason is not acceptable in law. If I am taking a staycation, I mention that I’m spending some time with family. People think that means going to the parents in the neighboring state. It is not a lie since my husband is my family. But I would feel totally weird if I was on vacation and ran into my boss downtown. Very weird.

      • L

        I agree with the trick of not saying where you’re going, if you can help it. Also, I would run my errands mostly at different time of day then I would expect to see a coworker/boss. There is something gratifying about going grocery shopping at 11 am on a wednesday when the store is super quiet.

      • Ms. Basil E. Frankweiler

        It implies that you just need a break which for whatever reason is not acceptable in law.

        This. I am realizing that I am running myself into the gournd and want to just say “Eff it, I’m going to stay in bed all day and watch Maury,” but I can’t because I’m worried I may miss something, anything that will lead me to get a job. Also, I worry about what my bosses (internship and actual job) and professors will think. So I just keep plowing thorough until I break and then plow through some more. Such is the way of the law.

      • MelD

        Usually we have people who will take a few days off at home after vacation, but in those cases almost everyone answers phone calls and emails. It is sort of like what’s the point then if I am going to have to do that anyway and take a vacation day? No thanks.

    • AD

      Never really done it (I don’t count the odd mental health day), but this thread is making me think hard about scheduling something. My SO changed jobs at the beginning of the year so that meant both last year and this year was/is sort of limited in terms of him having time off. We’ve got something planned in mid-July but that’s a long way off.

    • Anne

      One thing I do often is tack on an extra day or two to a vacation I’m taking out of town, and have a day at the beginning or the end of my trip where I’m just at home. It gives me a chance to take care of things around the house, pack or unpack from the trip, and have a relaxed day in my city/apartment. I don’t feel guilty about doing nothing on that day, because I know I will do plenty of amazing things on my trip out of town. And because everyone at work assumes I’m headed out of town/out of the country for the entire time off, there is less chance of work invading on my free time (which usually happens if I take a vacation that is entirely a staycation). It also solves the “needing a vacation to recover from my vacation” feeling that can accompany a long/busy trip out of town.

      • D

        I do this as well (take another day off after I get back). I also plan to have the house in good shape before I go and try to spend the one day at home relaxing, unpacking and setting up meals for the week. I like to cook so that’s relaxing too.

    • NOLA

      I have taken a staycation twice – both times to do some fairly extensive work on my house. I painted my hallway, which has 6 doors, and parts of my dining room, which required scraping and sanding. This project took a whole week! The good thing was that I was so sweaty and covered in paint and busy all day that I never even checked my email. Last year, I did something similar and painted my livingroom, but that only took a day so I planned activities for the other days that I can’t get to when I’m working. I feel like it’s worth it for me!

    • Cherly

      We don’t stayaction, other than if that includes visits to family that’s a couple hours away.

      Besides a trip to Ocean City just about every year, we often do mini-vacations. ….something like a trip to “the city” to stay in a hotel for a day or 2. Over Christmas, we went to Amish Country for our 15 yr anniversary. ….3 days in a cabin.

      But, no huge vacations….week-long trips; plane rides; cruises; etc.

    • Amy H.

      Enthusiastic yes to staycations here. I especially like going to coffeehouses and sidewalk cafes for cafe au lait or tea and croissants in the middle of the day on a weekday — it feels so supremely decadent and as though I’m abroad. Other favorites (most of which other commenters have already mentioned):
      * Going for a run or hike or yoga class every day of the staycation;
      * Scheduling spa treatments — massage, pedicure, facial and/or waxing;
      * Buying tickets to go to a special museum exhibit or concert; and
      * Sleeping in!
      I am biased, though, because San Francisco is a destination I would choose to visit on vacation if I lived elsewhere. I do feel lucky to live here (and remind myself about that when writing the rent check). Oh, and taking a vacation at home is more of a solo thing for me — DH doesn’t get it and probably wouldn’t enjoy it (because he’d end up just working from home). You really do have to set up all the out of office messages and untether.

      I also wholly support one- or two-night getaways, either midweek if work pressures will allow it, or on the weekend. Even spending just Sat. night in a hotel can feel like a real vacation and time away if you drive up early Sat. morning and come home after dinner Sunday night. These are what DH and I do as a couple vs. a true “staycation.”

      • Anonynon

        yes to staycation! But to me it doesn’t so much mean staying home. It means staying at a nice hotel (whether a luxury one or one that’s just at a cool location) for a day or two in a different part of the city where I live and within a reasonable drive from home. You’d be surprised how much like a real vacation it feels.

      • Herbie

        Yes, I frequently staycation on the weekends in my summer home. It also functions as my fall, winter, and spring home. Service and cleanliness isn’t always up to snuff, but it will just have to make do. You know, the economy and all.

    • Bonnie

      I think they’re good in theory but whenever I try to chill at home, I get twitchy after a couple hours.

  16. ss

    I’ve found an interesting list of top-10 tips for career women which the hive might find enjoy mulling over. Am going to try and post the link below but apologies in advance if it goes astray. The source is Mrs Moneypenny, a long-standing weekend columnist for the UK newspaper FT who has a new book out. The lady runs her own recruitment agency in real life, shoots clay pigeons and flies small planes for fun, and is the mother of 3 boys whom she refers to as Cost Centres #1, #2 and #3.

    I myself thought the advice was mostly spot-on and especially liked item 8 ‘Do something outside work and your family’.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/article-2081745/Mrs-Moneypenny-10-career-tips-top.html

    • MJ

      By the by, I bought her book and it’s too young if you are not just starting out. Also, she talks a lot about peculiarly British things, like taking clients/colleagues “Shooting.” As in clay duck shooting. Ummmm, not sure how relevant that is to my life. However, she does sound like a master networker otherwise, and has some amusing anecdotes.

  17. anon

    Please skip this threadjack if you don’t want to hear about pregnancy. :)

    I know that everyone’s experience is different, and that I’m jinxing myself by even asking, but I’m wondering for guesstimates. For those of you who (1) have been pregnant, and (2) had nausea/exhaustion in the first trimester, approximately what weeks were you nauseous? Since you’re officially 4 weeks by the time you ‘know’ you’re pregnant, did anyone have nausea/exhaustion before then? And to about what week did it last? I keep hearing that ‘1st trimester’ symptoms really last to about 16 weeks, for those whose symptoms clear up later.

    Caveat: I know that I can’t predict this, but I am trying to be responsible. We have two 3-month windows in which we’re going to be trying in the next 8 months. I’ve got some thyroid and other issues, and we’re expecting that I will experience some adverse effects in the first trimester. Basically I assign projects and teams in our division with a very long-term eye to things, and I don’t want to ‘take off’ every project for the next year, but I don’t necessarily want to screw over other team members by placing myself in crucial roles during times when I ‘should have known’ that I might not be able to give 100%.

    • sadie

      I 100% don’t think you can or even should try to predict this. I was nauseated from two weeks (nausea was how I knew I might be pregnant!) until I delivered the baby. I had first-trimester exhaustion pretty intensively between 6 and 10 weeks. The exhaustion improved dramatically by 12 weeks. The nausea improved a little by 20 weeks. But I didn’t stop having morning sickness until I actually delivered my baby.

      FWIW, friends have since told me that I should have tried Unisom + vitamin B6, which helps with nausea. If I have this much nausea next time, I’ll talk to my doctor about this. If you’re throwing up constantly, you can also talk to your doctor about Zofran.

      Trying to plan your pregnancy timing is a whole lot more complicated than just actually being pregnant. Somehow, things will work out no matter when you get pregnant.

      • Anonymous

        I have a neighbor who threw up every.single.day. of her pregnancy. As in, the entire 9-10 months. Her doc prescribed various meds to handle it, nothing worked.

        So yeah, you can’t predict.

    • Diana Barry

      Honestly, it varies by pregnancy, even with the same person. I’ve had 3 first trimesters and they were all completely different. The strategies I used to cope with them are also completely different: I coped with exhaustion by sleeping more (even taking naps in the office), coped with nausea by eating more food/different food/different times/taking different vitamins/etc. Also, it is trial and error – what works once may not work again.

      I think this is the perfect time for the Sheryl Sandberg line – don’t leave before you leave. You are ttc now- don’t assume you will be incapacitated at all if/when you get pregnant. If you are, you will be able to deal with it somehow, although it may involve trial and error and different medications, etc. If you aren’t, great! :)

    • PharmaGirl

      There is absolutely no way to predict this. Some women are not just nauseous but vomiting for the entire pregnancy, some are not nauseous at all. I barely had nausea but had extreme exhaustion for what seemed like forever. I passed out on the couch at 8 pm every single night for months and constantly felt like my body was melting to the ground. I’m sure it eventually let up but I don’t remember whent that happened. Somewhere around 20 weeks was a sweet spot for me and then things went downhill again as I got enormous and uncomfortable.

      Is there no way to swap roles when the time comes and you need support?

    • Anon

      I’m at 5.5 weeks and feel completely normal. But for missing my period, I would have absolutely no idea at all.

      And to threadjack your threadjack — anyone have any great suggestions for clothing I should be looking for as we jump into spring weather to hide this new condition? We’ve been trying for months and I had really hoped it would happen over the winter when I could hide at work under layers.

      • Anon 2

        I’m having trouble figuring out how to conceal the belly too. Kat, could we do a post just about pregnancy clothing for the benefit of those who don’t want to skip over the pregnancy threadjacks?

    • AN

      I’ll bite…..

      I had no nausea with #1.

      With my second, I had nausea from around week 5/6 to 12/14. Never threw up but felt miserable and sick. But every baby is different, every mum’s experience is different.

      Good luck.

    • Anonymous for this

      Weeks 4-12, both times. Nausea went away like clockwork in week 12. This is not everyone’s experience, though.

    • CKB

      I’ve had 6 first trimesters (3 m/c) and from my experiences, and the experiences from friends who have been pregnant or tried to get pregnant, you really cannot at all predict what will happen. Pregnancy is something you have so little control over. You may get pregnant right away, it migh take some time, it may never happen, you could miscarry. If you do get pregnant right away, you could have such a variety of different symptoms, including no symptoms, that you really can’t plan. IMO, you should carry on like you aren’t planning to get pg, and then when it does happen you can adjust things.

      TO answer your question, for me slight nausea hit around 3 weeks, got worse around 6 weeks, and varied how long it lasted. With my first ds it ended around 18 weeks, with my second ds it was a little longer, and with my third ds I had 6 weeks around 25 weeks when I wasn’t nauseous. I was so sad when I got sick again.

      Vitamin B6 really helps – I couldn’t believe the difference – and it’s a water soluble vitamin. Also, Jolly Rancher candies were a lifesaver for me. As long as I was sucking on one I felt fine. Also, constant snacking helped settle my tummy (but didn’t do wonderful things to my already expanding waistline).

    • KSW

      I was nauseous from about weeks 5-10, but mine was only at night. I felt fine when I got up in the morning all the way until I got home from work, and then I would feel tired and naseuous. My doctor recommended Unisom/Vitamin B6, but I never tried it. I would take Tums sometimes and those seemed to help a little. I also ate whatever sounded good at the time, which was mostly carbs (two bagels with cream cheese for dinner? I think so…)

    • Ruby

      DO not try to predict. The only thing I didn’t have was nausea, ever. I did have constant agonizing pains of various sorts (the kind where you can’t even cry/yell because your breath is gone), including at the office. E-coli infection. Hemorrage/threatened miscarriage. Itching/possible parasite. Squished artery pain. Massive heartburn. Haven’t slept through night since 2nd week, so totally sleep deprived. Pulled neck and back muscles. Torn abdominal muscles. Sore back and hips. Unbelievable constipation pain in mornings. Peeing without control. Constant congestion. I could go on, but won’t. The point is that I’m in the last trimester, getting through just fine, and have managed to kick total *ss at work- international travel first trimester, long days with big events and such 2nd trimester, now I’m limiting physical strain more but still very effective. You will manage things as they come up. You can not plan around it well. It is like running a small factory logistics operation daily for me: must drink enough to hydrate/be able to go before driving so don’t have an accident. Must eat 2 hrs before sleeping so can lay down without heartburn pain. Must bring back support pillow to conference room. And on. Basically it’s 2 jobs, and no one helps you at work much, but having a supportive spouse in my case is key. So, be open to the journey, know you want your baby, and deal with each day as it comes. :)

      • Ruby

        and ps- has been fine at work. the all-male management has wives that have been pregnant. i basically take care of my needs, and they don’t bat an eye. i have their trust, so i come and go as needed. it’s annoying to have visible physical limitations, but men break legs, etc.– it’s temporary.

    • Cherly

      If you read my experience, you might not want to have kids at all.

      Weeks 0-7: nothing
      Weeks 7-22: “morning” sickness all morning, noon, evening, and night. I think I was hospitalized 12 times for dehydration.
      Weeks 22-25: nothing
      Weeks 26-28: Preeclampsia
      Week 28: c-section, and despite being 12 weeks early, very healthy boy (almost 10 now)….and an ONLY CHILD

      Good luck!

      • Cherly

        Sorry, that came off too harsh. I was totally being silly. I loved having my child, despite all the illness.

        Good luck, and as everyone has said, there’s no way to predict. Just jump in and see what happens!

    • A

      Please don’t try too hard to predict this. I had zero nausea/morning sickness during my entire pregnancy. I felt great, exercised and was only slightly more tired during the first trimester. However, I ended up with pre-term contractions late in my pregnancy and had to do two months of bed rest. Totally unexpected. Do your best to plan responsibly, but remember that there are a lot of things you just may not expect.

  18. MaggieLizer

    I’m so very excited that triple points starts today at Nordie’s. I’ve been holding out for WEEKS waiting to replace my hose. No one can see the runs right…?

    In other Nordie’s news, I just received the cute purple date night dress featured on a weekend thread not long ago. I was worried it would be too low cut for my busty frame, but it’s actually just right as long as I don’t wear a super va-va-voom bra. The dress is incredibly flattering, and came just in time for one of two first dates I have this week thanks to Match :)

    • SF Bay Associate

      I’m excited, too. I still need work/commuting flats. I’ve tried Born, Ecco, and other less expensive brands, but I guess my feet are related to the Princess of the Princess and the Pea. I’m thinking about using triple points as an excuse to pick up a pair of AGL flats, which I hear are like buttah. Does anyone own a pair?

      • MissJackson

        I’m on the hunt for commuting/work flats too, and was thinking about heading over to Nordstrom after work to see if I can find something suitable. At this point I think that perfect commute flats are my unicorn. I’d literally pay almost anything if I found a pair that would be comfortable/supportive/not ugly.

      • Shaw

        I have AGL flats and will confirm they are indeed like buttah. Worth every penny and hold up really well.

        • Mini Threadjack

          For those of you with AGL’s…. do you have a cobbler put anything on the bottom before you start wearing them? I just bought my first pair about a month ago and would like to make them last as long as possible! This is my first pair of expensive shoes and I’m a little confused because there is already a strip of rubber running down the center of the sole. (I have the “Belt” Ballet Flat.)

          • Shaw

            My older AGLs do not have that feature (the non-skid stip). I haven’t looked at the sole of my newer pair. I usually wear shoes until the sole starts to get somewhat worn down (but not enough to affect the integrity of the shoe), then take them to a cobbler to have a thin rubber sole put on. I am a well-know klutz, so a rubber sole is helpful and it makes the shoes last longer. In fact, I do this will all my expensive shoes and it significantly increases the life span. With that strip already in place, I would wear the shoes for a few months, check the wear patterns and go from there.

      • Circe

        I have AGL flats and they are like buttah. Do try a size up to make sure you’re in the right size. Also, they’re not a good fit for you if you need arch support. I don’t wear them to commute because I do need arch support. They are lovely and work for both wide and narrow feet.

        • SF Bay Associate

          Hmm, I’m looking for a very high quality flat that’s like buttah, but *with* arch support. At this point, there’s no ceiling on price, but there may be a floor because I’ve not been impressed with less expensive flats. I want one perfect pair to rule them all. Do you have a recommendation, Circe? What do you commute in?

          • zora

            stick some really good arch support inserts in them? I like the Dr. Scholls “for her” hidden arches, they are awesome for my super high arches.

      • JC

        I own two pairs of AGL flats and I looooove them! They are like butter. I have P & the P feet (very sensitive) and they are totally worth the $$. Bonus if you can get triple points for them! Haven’t tried their “heels” yet– somehow they seem frumpy.

      • MaggieLizer

        Nordie’s cardholders earn points when they use the card at Nordie’s; usually one point per dollar, but triple points means you get 3 points per dollar. When you earn so many points you get a $20 Nordie’s coupon that’s good for… idk a long time, like a year or two. Oh and if you lose the coupon they’ll honor it anyway.

      • found a peanut

        If you are a Nordstrom cardholder, you get points every time you shop. These points add up and at 2000 points you get a $20 Nordstrom Note – basically a $20 gift card for future Nordstrom purchases. Usually you get 2 points per dollar spent at Nordstrom but when there is triple points you get 6 points per dollar.

          • found a peanut

            I think so – I think it’s one point per dollar in general (like if you use your Nordstrom Visa to buy groceries) and two points per dollar at Nordstrom.

    • Anon

      That dress looked like a maternity dress on me. :-( Just sent it back today. Glad it worked for you!

  19. PollyD

    So I get to the office this morning to find that it is raining in one of the elevators! Major pipe burst in the vicinity of the elevators, so now none of the elevators are working (I’m on the 5th floor). There is conflicting information about whether any of the bathrooms or water fountains in the building are usable (the ones on 7 and 8 may be). This means we may need to walk down to the lobby and go across the way to an other building in the complex to use the bathroom or get water. And then walk back up to the 5th floor! Yay.

    Plus, I get that people are excited about the warm weather in DC, but I have to say I do not enjoy 80 degrees in March. My apartment building does not turn on the AC until May, and I have horrendous allergies in the spring, so a hot March just means an extra month of suffering heat and allergies, unless it cools off, which I devoutly pray that it will do.

    • TCFKAG

      Funnily enough — when I was a legal intern in an in-house office — I had to do emergency research on this subject as to whether they could keep people at work in this situation. In addition to the work conditions (no bathrooms, no water), I also pointed out they were probably violating fire safety codes because the sprinklers wouldn’t work.

      Then I looked at my boss and was like — “But seriously, all that aside, just send everyone home.” And he was like “I know you’re right — I just needed a reason.”

      • PollyD

        Interesting point about the sprinklers. I do think that if it’s not fixed in the next couple of hours, they will probably let us at least telework.

      • PollyD

        Well, it’s still too hot, but we now have functional toilets in the whole building. Yay for plumbers.

    • L

      Right there with you. I am sweating to death in my apartment and have no less than 6 fans going.

    • KK

      My office is extremely hot today for the same reason but, honestly, I couldn’t care less. I want to do a happy dance and cartwheels every time I walk outside. The first warm days like this are just the best ever. Talk to me in September and I will be feeling quite differently, I’m sure.

  21. River Song

    Long time reader, first time thread-jacker:

    Has anyone been watching the show “Smash”? Angelica Houston has been rocking some nice suits on that show. Anyone happen to know the designers? I’m thinking especially of a black pantsuit she wore in a recent episode with one of the Jonas brothers playing the piano (I feel like such a teenager writing that, but she really did look great).

    • a passion for fashion

      i do like her suits. Im still not sure, however, that I can get behind the show. I really want to like it, but it feels a little forced, and thus really cheesy, to me. Im interested to see what anyone else has to say about it though.

      • River Song

        Agreed. It’s cheesy and I DON’T like how Houston’s character is overly emotional (crying, for example, when the director agrees to work with her, not her ex-husband). She looks so powerful in those suits; wish her character channeled some of that power a little more often.

      • Lynnet

        I’m having the same problem. I want to like it, and it has all of the elements of a show that I should like, but I have to force myself to watch it each week. I loved the first episode, but it seems like all of the women became incredibly less strong in subsequent episodes. I would have had a lot more sympathy for Ivy, for example, had she been sleeping with Derek just to get the part, instead of deluding herself into thinking that they’re actually dating. I agree with everyone else’s criticisms of Eileen’s character, and I really, really don’t like the adultery subplot.

    • Mrs. Piggle Wiggle

      For some reason, I love this show. But only when I record it and watch it on Tuesdays so I can fast forward through some of the cheesy scenes. I agree that the suits Angelica Houston has been wearing are beautiful – I always love a beautiful “swingy” pant leg.

    • Seattleite

      I love it, too. But I freely admit I’m a sucker for a musical, cheesy or not. The only musical I’ve ever NOT liked was “Moulin Rouge.”

      And yes, that includes Cop Rock.

  22. AMB

    TJ – how long do you leave things on your resume? I just added a paper published in my current position to the annex of papers and presentations given, and realized I have stuff from my undergrad (now more than 5 years ago, presenting related to my undergraduate honours thesis) still on it. It’s somewhat relevant though. The annex is currently just one page – if I add anything else should that be the clue to drop the older stuff?

    • Just hired

      I think this depends a lot on your field and what you’re trying to accomplish with your resume/CV. If you want to keep it short, you could always use the heading “Selected Papers and Presentations” and keep a separate, full list for anyone who asks (and/or your own records).

    • PharmaGirl

      I’m in the sciences and retain all papers on my resume assuming they are public, peer-reviewed puplications (eg, published in a journal or presented at a conference). Where did you present your undergrad honors thesis? Was the presentation at a national meeting? If so, I would keep it on there.

      • JC

        Was in science, now law. I keep all of my peer-reviewed scientific journal publications in my publications annex page and all presentations at national conferences and title it “Selected Publications/Presentations”. This is unless this sends you over a page, in which case, I would just keep (in order of what to keep) (1) the most relevant ones to the field of science you want to pursue; (2) ones where I am first or last author; (3) ones published in high impact journals. I don’t include posters or abstracts for national conferences where I did not do a “talk”, but just presented the poster.

  23. Anonymous

    Hi ladies. I had posted yesterday about helping a sibling with life/financial issues. I was posting too fast yesterday and apparently my last post didn’t go through. Anyway, I just wanted to thank everyone for taking the time to give advice, provide a different persepective, or share their stories (so glad I’m not alone!) I really haven’t been able to talk about this with anyone and it was nice to just vent to you all and get just great feedback and not be judged. Thank you all again!

  24. Shoe Question

    I bought a pair of CK wedges (the “Yana”) that I’ve barely worn a few months and they have become too wide on the middle part of my foot. I notice this happens with a lot of less expensive shoes, particularly round toe ones. Can this be fixed?? My feet aren’t that narrow and actually kind of wide so this is an odd problem for me to have. But as they are, they are very hard to wear b/c they’re too wide and make my feet look awful. Is there something a cobbler can do??

  25. Nonny

    OK, I am trying the long-sleeve-under-shorter-sleeve thing today, for the first time. So far I am not sure how it is working for me. Specifics: three-quarter-sleeve boucle jacket over long-sleeved silk crepe blouse. Hm. I thought it would work but am not quite sure. Unfortunately I am having dinner with my likely new boss tonight so I need to decide whether to accept it and rock it, or rush out at lunch and find a different blouse.

    • Gem

      I like the sound of it. Would rolling the blouse cuff back either to meet the jacket sleeve or over it work it you become self conscious?

      • Nonny

        Maybe I’ll try that. At the moment I kind of feel like my blouse sleeves are pouffing and billowing out all over the place like a pirate shirt. In actual fact, it’s not that bad, but I am feeling a bit self-conscious. So much for trying to be fashion-forward.

        • TCFKAG

          I’m having trouble envisioning it — but I would suggest trying to roll up the sleeves. If that doesn’t work — just rock it girl. Maybe you’ll start a whole pirate chic movement. And we’ll KNOW that it was Nonny. :-)

          • Nonny

            OK, rolling up sleeves is not working due to sleeve fabric ratios. Pirate chic, here we come! (And if any Vancouver ‘Ettes see me at dinner tonight, you’ll know me by my pirate sleeves.)

          • Selia

            All I can picture is the Seinfeld episode where Jerry has to wear the “puffy shirt” – “But I don’t want to be a pirate….”

            I am sure you look much better than you think :) Have fun!

    • Godzilla

      I do this look a lot but my execution is a bit different from yours. Blouses and button-fronts underneath sleeveless dresses. And long-sleeve tees underneath a jacket or dress of any sleeve length.

      • AIMS

        Yep. This is what I do. I never tried it with a blouse – always thin tees/sweaters with longish somewhat scrunched sleeves.

  26. shortiek

    How do people feel about platforms for work?

    I start a new job in July that I’m really excited about! However, my bosses and coworkers are all very tall (5’7″+) and I am…not. 4’10”.
    It also the first job where I will be wearing a suit most days. Basically I don’t want to look (or feel!) like a kid playing dress up and I’m not sure if a higher heel would help.

    • SAlit-a-gator

      I think a higher heel would help…with a caveat: you must be able to walk in them, and not like a giraffe. Find the right heel height for you and stick with that. I find that 2 1/2 inches is just right for me. I can swing 3″ heels on some days, but not everyday. Above all else though, be comfortable because that will shine through as confidence too!

    • Nonny

      My twin philosophies re heels:

      1. High heels always help; and
      2. I must always be able to walk comfortably in my shoes.

      Within these two guidelines, I say go for it. Not sure whether you are familiar with the blog Extra Petite, but Jean is about your height, I believe, and has immaculate taste in heels (and other things). Highly recommended as a reference.

    • Cat

      I think at some point, additional platform and accompanying heel height can backfire and read too trendy/young – I would stick to small/no platform (like the ones on Kate Middleton’s nude heels) and heels in the 3-4 inch range. Second the recommendation for extrapetite!

      • Always a NYer

        I personally prefer heels with a hidden platform for comfort. That way it doesn’t look like the trendy platforms, which I hate, and 3″ heels feel more like 2.5-2.75″ heels.

    • mamabear

      This was a long time ago, so take it with a grain of salt… but I used to sit next to a woman who was 5’0″ and she wore really high heeled shoes to try to gain a few inches in stature/authority/perception. One day she overheard a group of male managers talking about the analyst with the “hooker shoes” – and suddenly realized they were talking about her.

      I like fashionable shoes – a lot – but people don’t always percieve ultra high heels the way we hope they do. Any cred my friend gained for being a few inches taller was more than offset by the hooker comment.

      • Always a NYer

        I’m trying to decide which would be worse, “hooker shoes” or “f*ck me pumps”?

    • KLG

      I’m 5 feet tall and honestly, there is no amount of heel that will disguise that you are short. People are likely to comment (some of them will never stop commenting…). BUT I wore suits that fit me well and medium heels for the first few years of my first job and acted like I knew what I was doing and eventually most people stop noticing or forget altogether. If you look put together and competent, you don’t need to worry about your heel height (although I do recommend wearing them). After a few years there I occasionally wore flats and garnered additional comments but by then my work product and experience spoke for itself and certainly no one thought I was playing dress up.

      • Can't Wait to Quit

        YES. I stopped wearing heels because at 5’1″ I felt like they were a waste of time – I could never handle anything over 2.5″, and that only made me 5’3.5″, so why bother. Then again, I was never bothered by the fact that I am short.

      • another anon

        This is a really good point. It probably isn’t going to make much of a difference to the tall people if you are 4’10” or 5’2″. You are just short. Conversely, as a short person, I just see tall people as tall. I honestly could not tell you who is 6′ vs. 6’5″. They are just tall. So I would just wear a shoe that looks professional and that you can walk in comfortably.

    • JM

      Okay I am 5’0 so I’m a generally pretty small person. I do think heels help, BUT not too high. I tend to walk straighter and I like the fact that I am a few inches taller. However, I think standing “tall” (good posture), having tailored suits that fit properly, a clear voice, and good work product will speak louder than gaining a few inches would.

      Also, if you are 4’10, I’m assuming you have pretty small feet? I think a similar heel high on a smaller foot looks higher than one on a larger foot, so be careful you’re not falling into the too high heel category.

  27. Anonymous

    I think that very very high heels may be uncomfortable, which would lend to the “playing dress up” vibe you are trying to avoid. Ditto if they are so high you can’t walk easily.

    I’d dress conservatively and professionally, and then add more personal style as you get comfortable in the job. I’d avoid young-ish styles like round/Peter Pan collars and novelty prints on blouses, and perhaps bright colors/bright pink, too.

    I have the opposite problem as you — I’m 5-10 — and my take on height is, “it is what it is.” Wear footwear that makes you feel comfortable and stylish; its not like a 5-inch heel is going to make people think that you are a tall person or somehow older… you’re just a person wearing really high heels. (BTW I wear heels all the time, because, well, wearing flats isn’t going to make me short, KWIM?)

    • Pretzel_Logic

      I’m 5’9″ and so pretty much any pair of heels makes me 6’0″ instantly (I can’t walk in kitten heels). What’s the limit for us tall ladies? I had boss in undergrad who was definitely on the short side–I was at least 5, maybe 6 inches taller–so I never wore heels when I worked for him, but now that I’m transitioning into big kid jobs (as a relatively young 23) should I just say the heck with it and rock whatever shoes match my totally awesome suit? Or is it a know your boss situation? (I’ve now been outed as tall girl who has always been self-conscious about it…oh well.)

      • CA Atty

        Say the heck with it and rock on with yo bad self! My 2c is that it’s not worth it to be self conscious (I still am about being short and I’m 5’4″) because everyone else in the room is hoping you’re not noticing/judging whatever they’re self conscious about!

  28. Bunkster

    My boss just made me apologize to him via email for using the word “you” instead of “we”.

    He is such a little sh!t!

    • TCFKAG

      Holy sh*t. I know it isn’t funny — but I still laughed because that’s SO over the top. Bunskter — you’re the only person in the world right now I hope gets a new job sooner than I do (and that’s saying something!)

    • elz

      I had a former boss tell me on an annual evaluation that I “needed to talk to people in the bathroom.” WTF? Bathrooms are not where I carry on conversations.

      That boss was a total B*^%h.

    • PharmaGirl

      Ha!

      Last year I got a talking to for correcting my boss in front of a vendor. At the time he had just undergone ear surgery and couldn’t hear sh*t so didn’t notice I was making a joke about something, not actually correcting him. He still, 6 months later, mentioned it in my review.

  29. DA

    Reposting (Threadjack):

    I’m an unemployed litigator who has a number of lunches coming up with law firm partners, in the nature of networking/ informational interviews. Most of them know that I am not working full time at this point. What do I wear for lunch like this? I’d feel silly showing up in a full suit, but am not sure if dress pants and a cardi would be right or what else would be appropriate (and I don’t have money to go shopping these days).

    Any thoughts?

Back to Top

About

Work with Corporette®

Serious Stuff

work fashion blog press mentions