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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 148 Comments · by

Wednesday’s TPS Report: Dot flouncette blouse

Fashion· The Personal Shopper (TPS)· Wear to Work

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Dot flouncette blouseWe are always a fan of a dotted blouse, and we love this silk chiffon one from J.Crew. The tuxedo ruffle is a great detail, and the sheer navy nicely picks up some trends for fall. It's $98 at JCrew.com. Dot flouncette blouse Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail editor@corporette.com with “TPS” in the subject line. (L-2)

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Comments

  1. AIMS

    I really like it! Would have to try on to see if it actually works on me or makes me look way too chesty but I would hope it would work. Since I usually wear shells/tees/sweaters under my suits, a blouse — even sans jacket — always makes me feel nicely dressed up for work. Great find!

  2. lawDJ

    I have an ivory semi-sheer blouse (less sheer than this but definitely would have to wear a camisole by itself) that I wear under sleeveless dresses when I don’t want to wear a cardigan/blazer with them, so I guess I could see this working with a navy dress (except not sure if it would work with the “flounce” on the chest).

    But other than that styling, the only way I could see wearing this to work would be with a dark camisole that covered high in the chest, and then under a jacket which I would never take off at work. Perhaps if you have a non-work even after work this would be a good piece to wear when you know you don’t have to take off your jacket?

    • AIMS

      Is it really so bad to have see-through sleeves at work? I feel like I have seen people do this sort of blouse at my workplace & it never looked or seemed inappropriate as long as the top was clearly non-evening wear, which this strikes me as being, and everything else (including high cami) was appropriate.

      • nonA

        Same here – As long as its clearly a cami and not a lacy negligee/bra showing, no problems.

      • lawDJ

        I guess I see sheer chiffon as evening wear. I wouldn’t say it’s inappropriate at a business casual office though, I just wouldn’t wear it.

      • Cat

        I wore a similar blouse to work one day — even though the torso portion was fully lined (no cami issues), I felt slightly exposed all day. Something about the innate peek-a-boo feeling of sheer fabrics, I think. I regularly wear short/cap sleeve blouses to work without thinking anything of it (plenty of women show arms during the summer). Although more skin is technically showing, you’re not peeking through my clothes to see it!

    • Anon

      So my view on work clothes might be boring/buttoned-up, but my rule is that if an item is inherently sexy – sexy on the hanger before I even put it on – then I don’t wear it to work. I think anything sheer falls into that category.

      Obviously, it is possible to look very sexy in a pencil skirt, buttoned-up blouse, conservative pumps, etc. – but none of these items, hanging on a hanger, are sexy in and of themselves. I think sheer items, lace, etc, is. Again, just my view.

      • Kaye

        I agree with your general rules, but I think that by itself, on a hanger, this item doesn’t seem sexy at all to me.

        • Kaye

          As in, it’s pretty and feminine, but not sexy in the same way a lacy top or a miniskirt is sexy.

          • CJ

            Totally agree Kaye, very pretty and feminine but I don’t think this is at all sexy. It’s not something I would buy to appear sexy and I wouldn’t think to wear it without a cami!

        • lawDJ

          Really? It’s 100% see through (the camisole is not included in the shirt price).

    • L

      I like the concept of a light floaty blouse under a sleeveless dress. This is something I haven’t thought of before and will definitely have to try out. Thanks for the suggestion.

  4. skippy pea

    I really have no problem with see through sleeves.

    I have a lovely white with grey dots kurta that I want to repurpose as a blouse.

  5. surrounded by lawyers

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  6. M

    I would wear this polka dot blouse with hight waist black pants with slim belt, black structured jacket and low heels. It would look gorgeous.

    • lawDJ

      I love the styling suggestion. I just realized though, the shirt is navy. I have a similar shirt (not see through really) which I never wear because it’s a dark navy and most of my jackets etc are black. Would you wear a dark navy shirt with black?

    • Kaye

      Sounds lovely. Would you tuck it in? I guess you would, right, guessing by your description?

  7. Law-Less

    On a similarly polka-dotted note, I recently bought this cardigan from Target: http://bit.ly/ac82Ks
    I really like think it’s cute. Two problems though:
    1. After only 1 wearing, I can already tell that the black is going to fade easily and
    2. I’m having trouble with styling. I think the cardigan looks better open IMHO. Yesterday I wore it for the first time with a teal-colored shell and black slacks (my office is business casual FWIW). Other than that, I’m at a loss for how to style it. Any suggestions?

    • Samantha

      I would wear it unbuttoned over a red shell or tank and grey pants. Or buttoned over a grey pencil skirt with a red bracelet and small red earrings. Red/white/black always seems like a nice combo to me.

    • Me

      I can see it with a yellow, a red, cameo pink, or a chartreuse top too. Maybe add a belt, either over or under the cardigan depending on the fit. A skinny belt in black or white could go nicely. You could also pair it with gray pants or a skirt to avoid the obvious black mismatching as it fades later on.

      So say, black sweater, cameo pink silk shell, gray skirt, a white belt and maybe a soft metallic in the shoes. I’d add a cameo brooch in the mix because I’m classic like that. Or on another casual day, add a chartreuse top and shoes, go for a wider length pant and then use a red belt and a chunky red necklace. All the black and the yellowness of the green will remove any hint of Christmas the typical red/green might convey. If you need to make it more professional, go black on black with the cardi/pants but wear a deep purple turtleneck (but not a sweater) underneath.

      • Law-Less

        Wow! You guys have some awesome ideas! Two things I definitely didn’t think of – pink and chartreuse!!! I love it. I like the idea of mixing more than one color with black and white. This is why I love Corporette – you all have the best tips. Thanks!

  8. ERP

    I love polka dots! I would wear this A LOT. (1) with high wasted pants and a full camisole underneath; (2) under a sleavless dress/jumper; AND (3) under a short-sleaved light weight sweater and slim pants.

    • ERP

      RIL – Im interested to see your responses! I need a new one as well. IMO definitely don’t go cheap (e.g. 600 or less. I made this mistake a few years back and Im paying for it nightly)!

      Anyone have any thoughts on Temperpedic? Those look awesome.

      • Emily

        My fiance wanted a Tempurpedic until he spent a week sleeping on one – he’s a sweaty sleeper, and the material is much warmer than a regular mattress. For me, it would be great (I’m always cold), but he just couldn’t do it.

      • anon for this :)

        I dated a guy a few years ago who had a Tempurpedic. It was very comfortable, but yes, warmer, and it also felt like sinking into wet dough. I slept really well on it, but it was hard to move around on and/or maintain momentum for gee I dunno what because the mattress really wants you to sink into it. Your mileage may vary, of course.

      • E

        I would try sleeping on one before I buy. I personally don’t like the feel of them. I sleep cool, but it was too hot for me, and I didn’t like the feeling of it at all. Also, I woke up with a sore back after sleeping on it for several days. I would try it out first (some hotels have them, and it’d be worth a 150 hotel night to know whether a 1000 mattress was right for you).

        We have an IKEA mattress — the hasselbach, I think, which I really like. It wasn’t that expensive, but after three years of daily use, it still feels good.

        • LawyrChk

          We have an IKEA mattress, too, and really like it. Don’t remember the model name, but it’s a firm spring mattress with a 2″ memory foam topper. The king-size ran around $800, I think.

    • Fiona

      Westin or W mattresses. They are the most comfortable mattresses I’ve ever had. They have a website where they sell them at pretty high prices, but if you look around you can get really good deals (like 40% off) which makes them a lot more reasonable. I think even Hautelook had a sale on them a couple of weekends ago.

    • Chicago K

      Ugh, I bought one last year and couldn’t believe the prices! While lots of people told me to try department store sales (macy’s, carson’s, etc) we ended up getting one from a bedding store. On the plus side, although we were looking to buy outright, they did free financing for a year and we took the offer and paid it off over a few months.

      I LOVE our new mattress – it’s a Sealy Posterpedic Europlush pillowtop and it’s beyond comfortable. I thought I would want one of those tempurpedic ones, but actually heard lots of reports that they don’t breathe well and make you very hot so we were turned off by that prospect.

      I am was very hesitent to spend upwards of $1000 on a mattress, but I am really, really glad I did and didn’t go for a cheap one.

      • skippy pea

        Wow, we have similar mattress. We spent around $1800. on it. It is very confortable and feels sensuous because of some cashmere fabric on top. But with the euro-pillowtop, sometimes we feel like we need a mattress with better support!

        • Chicago K

          I can’t remember exactly how much we spent (is that awful?) I think it was $1500. I know what you mean about the support though, I think it feels best when I lie on my back – I sink in and it hugs my curves everywhere.

      • Anon

        Also, neither myself nor my SO have noticed our Tempur-pedic being any hotter than our old, non Tempur-pedic mattress.

    • lawDJ

      What’s your price range? We couldn’t spend more than 1k when we were looking for a mattress so we ended up spending about $350 at Ikea. I LOVE MY MATTRESS. Someone else had posted about this about a week ago and there were multiple votes for Ikea. I got a foam (sultan I think) mattress from them and have had it for 3 years. It’s AWESOME. I sleep perfectly on it. They have lots of information on what firmness you should buy based on your weight and how you sleep, my husband being about 50 pounds heavier than me and a stomach sleeper, we bought something firmer than I would’ve bought for myself, but it’s actually really helped my back problems. I really recommend them.

    • K

      If you’re near a Bob’s Discount Furniture (name sounds sketchy, I know, but it’s actually awesome!), get a Bob-O-Pedic for half the price of Tempur-Pedic. I just got one, and I love it, but I will warn you that it makes it awfully hard to get out of bed to go to work… LOL!

    • MLB

      I bought a Jameson mattress several years ago. It’s like a Tempurpedic in that it’s foam, but it doesn’t seem as styrofoamy to me, and it’s significantly cheaper. And it doesn’t get hot, as I understand Tempurpedic ones do. I am a lifelong insomniac and my insomnia was cured by this bed.

    • Marjorie

      This is a Slate article about mattresses and how they’re all basically the same and a ripoff.

      http://www.slate.com/id/93956/

      I moved in with my boyfriend recently and demanded a mattress upgrade. (His was old, used, and sagging in the middle.) We ended up buying a “used” one from a woman moving out of our (Manhattan co-op) building; it had been in her guest room, barely used, for 10 years. It looked good, it had clearly been expensive for her to buy, and so far we both like it a lot.

      Probably not helpful for you unless you are willing to buy used and have a classy neighbor looking to sell. But we were pretty lucky.

    • shopaholic

      -Go to a mattress superstore and lie on a few to see what you like.
      -Go home and google that make/model to see how much cheaper you can get it from somewhere else
      -Go back to the mattress superstore and offer to pay the online price for the mattress you like. The salesman will likely take it.

      I paid $800 for a $1500 mattress doing this. The prices on the mattress really are not what you should pay, kind of like with used cars.

      • lawyer

        This. but a step further. Different retailers will have different model names for the same mattress so that you can’t price shop. When you find one at one retailer that you like, take that price and that name to a different retailer and ask them to beat the price on their equivalent. Go back and forth until somebody poops out. We saved THOUSANDS with this technique (Simmons Balthazar FWIW).

        • L

          We did the same. Though, you can price shop if you’re very attentive. We found our mattress in a store, went to one of those Mattress online sites, found our mattress–not by name (though brand was the same), but by construction and went to the store. At first they tried to tell us it was different and we called their bluff–the sales person called her manager and the store price-matched on the spot. Got the mattress for about half the store’s price.

          • jc

            I have found that even if you don’t have a lower price found at another store or on-line, you can negotiate the price of the mattress. Ask the manager if he can do a discount (they usually can) or throw in “extras” if you need them (e.g., bed frame, pillows, etc.). Like buying a car, you can usually negotiate a better price than the sticker price.

    • RIL

      I went to Bob’s yesterday – and tried to get someone to help us for 45 minutes . We finally left. I was hoping to spend less than 1k. And I’m a side/stomach sleeper & have no idea what that means for firmness – sounds like Ikea might be able to help. The slate article describes my problem perfectly – you can’t price comparison shop bc they change all the names! We went to the sleepy’s clearance center where they sell floor models at a substantial discount – but is that super gross????? Loads of strangers lying on the beds for up to 120 days….It looks like they don’t sell Jamison in New England.

      • lawDJ

        Stomach sleeper means you need more support so that your lower back doesn’t arch towards the floor when you sleep (giving you pain). That will be totally fine for side sleeping too. Ikea also has pillows that are different depending on how you sleep: face up, stomach, side. I absolutely wear by those too.

        We have one of the Sultans, can’t quite remember which, but we went with no springs and put it on wooden slats instead of a box spring. The no springs thing took some getting used to (there’s no “bounce-back” when you sit down) but now I love it because there’s absolutely no noise, and it means that when my husband turns in his sleep, I hardly feel it!

        I swear I don’t work for Ikea, but I do really like their stuff :)

    • Silicon Valley In House

      Keep in mind that if you get a pillow top mattress, you cannot flip it to even out the wear. My biggest regret on our purchase.

      • i'm nobody

        It’s not just pillow tops, unfortunately. Increasingly, manufacturers are only offering a one-sided mattress. They talk it up, but what you get is half the mattress for all the money.

      • Anonymous

        I just rotate mine every few months and that seems to be fine for evening out the wear.

      • Another Sarah

        I’ve seen some pillow-top mattresses that have the detachable pillow-top so you can flip the mattress. So they do exist! :-)

    • M in CA

      I love my mattress from a website called bedinabox dot com. Silly name, great product (well, at least the mattress is. Their beds are awful.) Their memory foam mattress with bamboo topper feels great — you get the memory foam effect of a Tempurpedic, but the bamboo topper keeps it cool. The mattress is delivered in a vacuum-sealed bag and it’s pretty fun to open it and watch it expand.

      As an aside: I am also a “warm” sleeper, and I’ve found that I’m much cooler without a topsheet. I just use my down comforter only, which is somehow warmer in the winter, and cooler in the summer. (I’m told that’s one of the great properties of down — it keeps its cool AND its warmth.)

      • i'm nobody

        second this: I *hate* top sheets! Down quilts with duvet covers all the way!

        • SF Bay Associate

          Curious – without a top sheet, does that mean you have to wash your duvet cover weekly instead? I’d need a much bigger washing machine to do that!

          • E3

            If you feel like you need to wash your top sheet weekly, then yes, you’d want to wash your duvet cover as often. Personally, I go longer.

        • Anon for this one too

          Also hate top sheets! I get the ultra soft flannel duvet covers from LL Bean. I change them every week to every month, depending on how “clean” the duvet top felt, if that makes any sense!

          • L from Oz

            Non-top sheet users of the world unite! It’s a slight pain, as I don’t have a drier, but I just bought an extra duvet cover or two so I don’t have to wait for something to line dry before I go to bed. (Have done this in the past – oh the pain – getting up at six to do the washing and then waiting until midnight to make the bed again…)

            My (not large, European side loading) washing machine copes fine.

    • i'm nobody

      I’ve heard great things about SleepNumber beds.

      We’re currently sleeping on a natural latex mattress from Sealy Posturpedic (via Macy’s) on traditional box springs. Replaced a $1200 Sterns & Foster Delstone (from Bloomies) that was a huge disappointment (after 3-4 years, you could feel the springs. Horror).

      Pros:
      – No springs, so you don’t hear/feel the reverb every time your restless partner moves
      – Fewer dustmites and other allergens (esp. using a mattress barrier)
      – Fewer chemicals to ingest

      Cons:
      – Still gets pretty hot and is generally very insulative
      – Foam breaks down over time so what you feel in the store is not what you’ll feel at home, and progressively the mattress becomes less supportive (which is probably true of most mattresses)
      – Very heavy (only a pain in the a$$ when you’re moving, rearranging, etc.)
      – IMO, not worth the $3K+ premium we paid

      • L

        Personally, I HATE sleep number beds. I’ve stayed at a number of hotels with them and they seem to me like glorified air mattresses.

        • i'm nobody

          really? do tell! I’m sincerely interested in criticism; everyone I know who has one won’t shut up about how great they are.

          • Chicago K

            My friends had one that broke after a year or so. I never slept in it, but they showed it to me when they bought it – and when it colapsed – and it felt just like a blow up air bed to me too.

      • Anonymous

        My parents have one. They like the comfort (although to me it feels like an air mattress), but about a year after buying it a storm knocked out power and shorted out the controls. That wasn’t covered by the warranty, so now they have a sleep number bed that they have to inflate by blowing into it with a straw. So I wouldn’t buy one, personally.

    • LMo

      All of the above, but go to a small store owned by the person who runs it. You can get huge discounts there because they have room to negotiate. I got a $1600 mattress for $800 by negotiating a guy down (took the floor model, who cares). Brought the cash to pay him right there – that can help cut down the price a LOT.

    • Ms. Basil E. Frankweiler

      If you have an American Furniture Warehouse near you I would check out their “house brand” of memory foam. This bed changed my life and it was only $499 for the complete queen sized set.

    • govvie girl

      I have a Sealy firm pillow top. I’ve had it for several years and it is the most comfortable thing ever. It puts hotel beds to shame. Did I mention how much I love it? :)

    • EM

      I would go spend a night in all the luxury hotels in your area. Then get the name of the mattress that you liked the best, and buy that.

      When it’s time for me to get a new mattress, I’ve got the brand from this lovely, suite-filled New Hampshire hotel, where the mattress was like sleeping on a cloud every night.

    • Mille

      I can’t remember the name of mine right now, but it is the one with the commercials where the woman jumps up and down next to a wine glass and the glass doesn’t fall over. The springs are not connected to each other, so it doesn’t bother the person next to you when you roll over. It’s a Serta or Sealy or other mid-range mattress that you can get at almost any furniture store. I love it.

      Tempurpedic was unbearable for me. It was so hot, and I have back problems that were made worse by being unable to turn over easily.

    • RIL

      Thanks for all the great advice!!! We are volcanic lava hot sleepers & I never thought to take that into account. I didn’t realize how complicated this would be but now I feel armed with great advice.

  11. Anon for this one too

    Threadjack –

    You guys seem to give such great travel advice, I thought I would throw another travel question out.

    In October, my husband and I are going to Vegas to attend a wedding. Neither of us have ever been before, and we aren’t planning on renting a car. We will be there Fri-Mon with the wedding on Sat.

    – Will we be able to get by without a car?
    – Any tips for things to do? We want to hit the casinos, although we are not gamblers by any means. We also live in a large city and have seen – or could see – most of the shows at home.
    – What would one suggest wearing to a Vegas wedding held in the afternoon at a hotel? I am thinking I can get away with something a bit more lowcut/short/sexy as it’s Vegas?
    – Any tips for places to eat? Affordable Spas? Even though we are from a large city, the prices we see online for spa services seem ridiculous ($190 for a 50 minute massage? Seriously!?!)

    Thanks in advance!

    • v

      Is the wedding on the Strip? If it is and you’re staying there, no need for a car at all. If it’s not or you’re staying elsewhere, you might want a car or to resign yourself to kind of expensive cab rides (a cab ride in Vegas always seems to cost twice as much as it should in my experience).

      Being a non-gambler myself, I was more than happy just wandering through all the casinos and looking at the spectacle. E.g., the dancing fountains at the Bellagio are pretty spectacular, and a lot of the casinos have things like that.

      As for food, I kind of just chose random places that were hit and miss, but if you scroll down to the Las Vegas section of this blog, he reviewed a couple of places (Carnevino and Raku in particular) that made my mouth absolutely water.

    • Been there, done that...

      Be warned. The Vegas Strip is expensive. Shows, restaurants, spas…it’s all expensive. I’ve been twice. Stayed at the MGM Grand and the Venetian. Loved both hotels. The spa at the MGM is really awesome.

      One of the best meals my hubby and I ever ate was at Fix at the Bellagio. There’s an amazing restaurant at the top of the Hotel at Mandalay Bay called Mix. Amazing views of the Strip at night. Here’s the link…

      http://www.mandalaybay.com/dining/mix.aspx

      Where are you staying?

      • Anon for this one too

        We are staying at the Venetian, which is where the wedding is also being held.

        • 2L NYC

          The venetian is the best! I mean, I too live in a big city, but the shows like O at the Bellagio are not something that you could see anywhere else! Also, go to buffets everywhere – breakfast buffets are only $10 and the food is great!

          • Anon for this one too

            where do I find these buffets? we get free breakfast buffet with our room price, but I have had friends in the past who used to go to Vegas just to eat at the dang buffets! I don’t see anything about them online, are they in the casinos?

          • Amy

            Vegas has turned “foodie” and there’s much more talk about the high-end restaurants now than about the buffets. The buffets have taken a real backseat compared to how Vegas used to be (I’ve been going to Vegas since I was 15 with my family). However, every hotel still has a buffet. The Rio has one of the best ones in terms of quality for value. I also like the one at Paris for breakfast. We love the high-end restaurants too – hubby and I went all out and ate at Joel Robuchon in the MGM the last time we were there, and I also love Craftsteak and RM Seafood – but the morning after a night of hard drinking until the wee hours, I don’t need a foie-gras stuffed omelet with heirloom tomato confit, I need some damn scrambled eggs and a big glass of orange juice. When I’m there with friends, we generally hit a buffet at about 10 a.m. and then don’t eat again until dinner at 8. There are some Internet sites out there about buffets and most of them have links to coupons as well.

        • Amy

          Staying at the Venetian, you should be fine without a car unless you want to go way up the Strip, i.e. to the Mandalay Bay or something. In which case you should cab it or get the trolley car (which can be as expensive as a cab ride). There are TONS of great restaurants and shops within proximity of the Venetian so unless you find something specific up-Strip, downtown, or off-Strip you want to do/go to, you should be fine. Make sure you take good walking shoes, though.

          • jc

            Although Vegas has turned “foodie”, I find that the Vegas versions of the foodie restaurants to be sooo not worth it! Go to the original if you can and save your money for the gambling, outlet shopping or an extra massage. After being burned many, many times, my hubby and I vow only to eat at buffets when we are in Vegas. Our favorite is the buffet at the Bellagio. For the price, it is a fantastic deal and the food quality is very high.

        • Been there, done that...

          Then you definitely don’t need a car. The Venetian is a beautiful hotel. Good location for checking out the other hotels. We spent lots of time just wandering through the various hotels on our first visit. Each one is so unique and over the top.

          Vegas is definitely the time to break out the sexy, sparkly clothes. I would however, check with the bride. Even though the wedding is in Vegas make sure she’s not expecting everyone to show up in more traditional wedding attire for the wedding. Brides can be funny that way.

          Make sure whatever shoes you bring, you can walk in them. Just the walk from the lobby to your room can take you 15+ minutes. I invested in Blister Block and bandaids. Maybe not a bad time to get some of those foldable flats.

          If you are planning on spending time by the pool, make sure you bring your own sun block. I couldn’t find heavy duty sun block any where. What I did find cost me $18.

          You might want to make reservations for shows or restaurants before you go. We tried to get reservations for Emeril’s place two months in advance and had no luck!

          • Amy

            Good advice on the sunblock. I forgot to pack ours this summer and we had to hunt for some through several stores, ending up at a gas station that charged $11 for a tube of generic-brand 35 spf. Next time I won’t forget mine!

        • SF Bay Associate

          I had a fabulous meal at Mario Batali’s B&B Enoteca in the Palazzo, which is connected to the Venetian.

        • M in CA

          I love the Venetian! Take a gondola ride — delightfully goofy fun. The Palazzo is also beautiful. I highly recommend Mario Batali’s restaurant Otto in the “St. Mark’s Square” area. The spa at the Venetian/Palazzo is gorgeous but verrrrrrry expensive IMO.

    • govvie girl

      I lived there for a couple years (was an AF officer stationed at the base there), and within the Strip, there are nicer casino/resorts and then there are the lower-spectrum places. Excalibur and Circus Circus are low-end (referring to the crowd). The Hard Rock, off the Strip, has a cool circle bar with good tunes where you can hang out and watch the various tables. Sahara has inexpensive blackjack- or did, anyway, if you want to jump in. Stratosphere has a great view at the top, and a bar up there. Lots of spas, and Canyon Ranch has a facility, though it’s not the resident-type place that you see in Tucson or Massachusetts. For the wedding, wear what you think you look good in, but there’s no need to go “showgirl.” Part of the problem w/the city is that there is a tendency to stereotype in that vein (and other occupations). Also, Red Rock Canyon, on the west side of the city, is a great place to go hiking if you want to get away from the crowds and slot noise for a bit. Finally, there are two outlet malls, one right north of the Strip and one south of town. And if you are “West Coast,” you can get sustenance at the nearby In-N-Out Burger.

    • Mille

      I second the advice for wearing comfortable shoes. The hotels can all be walked to, but they are really far apart. The hotels are huge, and they are designed to make you walk past all the gambling stuff, so be prepared to walk. I’ve spent hours just wandering around one hotel– the New York, New York is fun, and the Excalibur (I think– the one that looks like a pyramid) is very over the top. In the cab from the airport they always have big books of coupons for shows and food, and a guide to the events and nighlife in the city. Pick that up for some ideas.

      Go to a Cirque du Soliel show– one of their big productions. It’s so worth it. Even if you can see it at home, it’s one of the fun things to do in Vegas. I’ve found that tickets, especially now with fewer tourists, are reasonably priced and sometimes you can get really good last-minute deals. I love Vegas for the amount of shows from really big-named stars– I’ve never been bored there. The nighclubs are fun, too.

      Be warned that, at some of the big hotels, (but I don’t know about the venetian), the “pool” is really a large, 4 ft deep party area where there are hundreds of people drunk who come just to party. I like to stay at the Palms (off the strip), but the pool is insane. The MGM Grand, I think, is the same way. If your hotel is a party hotel (it shouldn’t be), be sure to reserve a poolside seat early, if possible, and expect long lines. Sunblock is super-expensive unless you do have a car and can get to a drugstore, so bring your own. Most cities I go to, I have the cab driver stop at a grocery store so I can pick up drinks (bottled water is crazy expensive at hotels), snacks and anything else that would be nice to have but I won’t have access to.

      The best, best food I’ve ever eaten in my life was at the Palms– the Nove Italiano. But again, the Palms is not on the strip, so it’s probably not where you would go on this trip. And, sigh—– I’ve kind of outgrown the party atmosphere there and will probably stay at a more “grown-up” hotel next time I go.

      Unless the bride specifies otherwise, Vegas is a good place to wear something sexy. It is hot there, it is a party town, and I don’t know why you would get married in Vegas unless you live there or want that kind of atmosphere. (Or, like me, you elope). With the advantage of staying in the hotel they are getting married at, you can always have a backup outfit ready to go if you feel uncomfortable with your clothing choice.

      The only thing I can think of that you might want a car for is to drive out to the North Rim of the Grand Canyon, or do other outdoor activities that are near Las Vegas. Otherwise, walking and cabbing work for the strip.

      For spa services, sign up now for the Las Vegas Groupon and see what comes up before you leave. I don’t know if the big hotels use Groupon, but nice, smaller places do.

      • OP for Vegas Question

        Thank you to everyone for your very thoughtful responses! I definately have a lot of things to check out before we take off for Vegas.

        And I will definately be signing up for Vegas groupon – excellent idea!

  12. Anon

    Update/product review!

    Last week, someone posted a link to a NYT story about bras for women with a small bust. I went to Lulalu and ordered 2 bras, and I just love them! The prices were reasonable, as far as bras go, and they shipped quickly. I must say that finding AA bras (I’d been wearing A) might be a life-changer for me. My previous bras were so uncomfortable, but now that I have the right size, I feel like I’m not wearing a bra at all. Amazing!

    • anony

      The right size really gives a tangible improvement to my daily life, too. So glad you like Lulalu – great store!

    • Lyssa

      How did you know what size to order without trying them on first? I hate to try to return something that has been shipped (such a hassle!), and I always find I have to try on about a dozen bras for every one that works, so I’ve always resisted ordering any online. (I’m sure I could use a double A, though!)

      • Anon

        One of the bras I ordered was sized only by band size (it’s called a bralette), and I knew my band size already because the bands on my previous bras fit, just not the cups.

        With the other one, I just took a leap of faith. Not to be too graphic, but I could fit my flat hand into the top of my bra in all the empty space from an A cup, so I thought I’d try an AA first. I ordered the same band size that I usually wear, and they fit perfectly.

  13. Anon

    Somewhat fascinated by all of the press surrounding the alleged harassment of a Mexican sports reporter by members of the NY Jets.

    Not for a second defending any of the alleged comments or actions of the team and management, but for crying out loud, who in their right mind wears this to a locker room full of men and then is surprised that they make comments?

    http://twitpic.com/2nu00w

    • Amy

      I think a lot of these female sports reporters are hired basically because they’re eye candy (when was the last time you saw one that wasn’t hot?) so there’s probably some level of subtle or not-so-subtle encouragement to dress like that instead of in, say, a business suit. Then, predictably, the men she’s around make comments. If I was giving some career coaching to Ines or any of these female sportscasters, the first thing I would tell them is that if they want to be taken seriously and avoid problems, they need to dress conservatively and professionally (which doesn’t necessarily mean a suit; she could have worn the Corporette-favorite dress-and-cardigan combo and still looked chic and appealing, but not overtly sexy). I think this is a good illustration of the point that no matter what industry you’re in, booty jeans and a tight t-shirt are not appropriate attire and will not bring you either respect or credibility.

      • v

        I think a lot of these male athletes are hired regardless of their professionalism and after a long period of being given their way in every regard, so there’s probably some level of subtle or not-so-subtle encouragement to treat the women they come into contact with as if they are objects put on Earth for their own pleasure. Then, predictably, when they’re around professional women trying to do their jobs, they make comments. If I was giving career couching with them, I would tell them if they want to be taken seriously and avoid problems, they need to focus on the fact that they are supposed to interact with the media in a professional manner regardless of how the woman they’re interacting with is dressed (which is in a manner no doubt dictated by that woman’s employer).

        • Amy

          I think a lot of these male athletes are hired regardless of their professionalism and after a long period of being given their way in every regard, so there’s probably some level of subtle or not-so-subtle encouragement to treat the women they come into contact with as if they are objects put on Earth for their own pleasure. Then, predictably, when they’re around professional women trying to do their jobs, they make comments. If I was giving career couching with them, I would tell them if they want to be taken seriously and avoid problems, they need to focus on the fact that they are supposed to interact with the media in a professional manner regardless of how the woman they’re interacting with is dressed (which is in a manner no doubt dictated by that woman’s employer).

          • v

            There’s plenty of situations in which we expect the powerful to restrain their behavior. I know athletes get away with a ton of shit the general public doesn’t. However, if we really took, for instance, the concept of perpetuating rape culture seriously as a problem in society, we might shift this one into the “unacceptable” column. The fact that we haven’t says a lot more about how we view women and sexual harassment than it does about how we view athletes, I think.

            Example: if an athlete, say, sees me eating a sandwich that looks good, should I just expect him to take it because he’s powerful, I’m not, and that’s reality? I don’t think I’ve ever heard that argument made, because we view the concept of personal property as something important enough to be taken seriously even by the wealthy and powerful. Why don’t we view women’s right to be free from sexual harassment in the same way?

      • Anon for this one

        A lot of female sportscasters dress very appropriately. Heidi Watney of NESN comes to mind as always well dressed when covering the Red Sox games.

        I might get some flack for this but part of how a woman dresses on TV is cultural. Latin American TV promotes female sexuality, as does some European countries. (I was in Greece and staying with some family friends. I was horrified at a children’s program where the female host was dressed in a string bikini, jumping rope no less.) While that’s not an excuse for the behavior of the athletes, we are talking athletes here. As a group, these guys are not know for their “sensitivity” toward women. Objectifying, cheating, and other negative behavior toward women is more the norm.

        I’m actually glad she spoke up. A lot of women might not have.

    • lady

      Because men aren’t capable of NOT making comments to a woman in tight pants? I like to give the gender a little more credit, so yeah, I’m always surprised when someone makes an inappropriate comment.

      • KelliJ

        Why are you surprised that male athletes make sexist comments? When you hear stories from some NBA players’ wives that they’ve attended seminars hosted by the League on how and why to wear a condom while having sex with YOUR HUSBAND, a sexist comment isn’t surprising. These guys are used to having women throw themselves at them. Lawrence Taylor’s wife was on Oprah saying that a woman gave her husband her phone number right in front of her knowing full well that she was his wife.

        It’s unfortunate that it happened and it is wrong for the men to behave this way, but it is not surprising.

        • lady

          Expecting a male athlete to make a sexist comment is the same thing as saying that you except a female lawyer to make a dumb comment. It’s degrading to the gender and the person. Expect a little more out of people; hold them to a higher standard.

          People all over (of both genders) do dumb things (like giving a married man your phone number in front of his wife). I like to think that maybe, that married man was man enough to not call that number. I don’t see why I shouldn’t hold anyone to those standards.

          Misogyny and misandry are both ugly things.

          • KelliJ

            Wow! Misandry? How did you get that opinion? Nothing I wrote even remotely says that I hate men (or athletes for that matter). Far from it. Not even close. I actually work in a very male dominated field (patent law) with engineers (95% men). I watch football, baseball and hockey as well.

            “Expecting a male athlete to make a sexist comment is the same thing as saying that you except a female lawyer to make a dumb comment.” How are these two things even analogous? Furthermore, I don’t EXPECT either. I don’t expect men of any type, including athletes, to make sexist comments, but I’m not surprised that a male athlete might make a sexist comment to a female reporter in the locker room every now and then. There is a difference.

    • Blonde Lawyer

      What got me is she didn’t even notice the harassment but some other woman complained on her behalf. Now people are saying the other woman was just jealous she wasn’t getting the attention.

      I am still hung up on the issue of going into a locker room. I understand that it is where the good interviews take place but doesn’t it seem kind of skeevy to go into the men’s locker room? Would we want male reporters in our locker rooms?

      • AIMS

        Maybe the reason that you don’t have reporters in the locker room is part of the reason that no one really cares about women’s sports.
        I’m only half joking — but I have a female friend who’s a sports writer & she says you miss out on a lot of the good interviews if you don’t go to the locker room; even outside the locker room b/c time spent in the locker room helps build solidarity w/the athletes.
        I don’t think there’s anything wrong w/women going into locker rooms, or vice versa for that matter. If you’re shy, cover up. It’s not like journalists are barging in on showers. It’s been the practice forever. Why should it change b/c we have women writers now?
        As for the sexist comments — I think everyone needs to grow up . Players, coaches, and journalists.

        • cbackson

          This is exactly it. Actually, getting all of the major leagues to agree to give equal access to the locker room to female reporters was a big fight for some of the first women sports reporters for major publications.

    • lawDJ

      She’s a Mexican television reporter …. have you watched some Spanish-language television? She was SUPER covered-up for what is shown regularly as “normal” female attire. Not really trying to judge it, just saying it’s a bit of a complicated thing. Personally, I think NO reporters should be allowed in the locker room. It’s super awkward!! Let them shower in peace!

      Did you guys see when Spain won the World Cup, the Queen of Spain went into the locker room with about 30 more people (99% men) and was shaking the guys hands while they held their towels with another hand? All on international television, c’mon you can’t wait 10 minutes?!

    • Anonymous

      I am hispanic. It is much more common for women in Latin America to wear form-fitting clothing that would be considered sexy in the US, regardless of how thin or attractive the wearer is. It is not considered unprofessional, and men do not treat women in a derogatory manner because a woman is wearing form-fitting or revealing clothing. So I imagine Ines Sainz was very surprised by how she was treated.

      In fact, the caption on the photo you linked to (Algunos medios aseguran que iba inapropiadamente vestida con los Jets! Exactamente estaba asi! ) says “Some of the media are saying she was inappropriately dressed with the Jets! But she was dressed exactly like this!” The person who posted the photo is incredulous that this outfit could be considered “inappropriate”, and I’m sure that Ms. Sainz did not consider it sexy at all.

      • lawDJ

        Actually, I think that picture and its accompanying caption are written by the actual reporter — Ines herself that is (she said “que iba inapropriadamente vestida” = that *I* was inappropriately dressed). I’m also Hispanic and for the most part agree with you. I do think though that women know they’re being sexy by dressing this way, but it is not inappropriate nor is it expected to get you catcalls because everyone ELSE is dressed this way. I do maintain she was dressed down for a Hispanic television reporter in a Mexican station.

      • Anonymous

        I actually realized it was Ines Sainz herself who posted that photo and caption – so clearly she was incredulous. (The third and first person conjugations of the verbs she used are the same so at first I thought it was posted by someone else.)

    • govvie girl

      This; I don’t care what culture you are from, you are operating within whatever culture you find yourself in. Let’s accept some situational reality. I’m not going to obliviously walk scantily clad down a dark alley in the wee hours, either. You get the message back that you are sending.

      • v

        Just once I’d love to see some statistics that scantily clad women are raped or harassed at higher rates than modestly dressed women. That certainly hasn’t been my experience and yet we’re so quick to assume that any woman not covered from head to toe is “asking for it” or “sending a message.”

        • Anon

          Oh please. Put on sweatpants and a tshirt, walk down a busy street. Then repeat the experiment wearing a short, fitted skirt, high heels, and a cleavage-baring top. Then come back here and tell me that you got the same amount of ogling glancings and comments with each outfit.

          I don’t think women who wear revealing clothes are asking to be raped or harassed. But I also think it is ignorant to claim that people don’t respond differently to us based on what we are wearing. I mean, heck, this blog is centered around the fact that what we wear matters. How can you say that wearing something revealing is no different than wearing something less-so? Is that the one exception to the rule that people notice what we wear, judge us because of it, and that it has the potential of coloring how they interact with us?

          • v

            I’m not saying clothes don’t affect people’s perceptions and how they treat you. But yeah, I do think this may be a situation where it’s less relevant than, say, how you perceive someone you’re interacting with at work. When we’re talking about rape and sexual harassment specifically, we’re talking about things that are rooted in power and a desire to take it, not in sexuality. The fact is, I do get catcalled when I’m in sweatpants and a huge winter coat, just like I do when I’m in summer clothes. When I lived in Egypt, women wearing the hijab got cat called and harassed the same way women in skimpier clothing did. I think the kind of man who asserts his power over a woman through sexually harassing her isn’t particularly interested in distinguishing based on clothing, though it can become a useful excuse later.

            I’m lucky enough not to have been raped, but when I hear women tell their stories of having been so, there’s no clear pattern in what they were wearing. (Not particularly surprising since the vast majority of women who are raped are raped by people they know; those people aren’t waiting for their acquaintance to show up in a short skirt before they attack her.)

            I mean, if there’s evidence to the contrary, there’s evidence to the contrary. It’s just that I constantly hear this asserted as a truism and I’m not really sure the logic backs it up. Certainly perpetrators look for situations where they think they can get away with it, and they likely perceive certain women as having less recourse (women in poorer communities with worse police protection, for instance). But does that translate directly into clothing in a measurable way? I don’t know and I don’t think it’s safe to assume.

          • Anon but not 4:30

            +1 to v.

            Almost nothing enrages me more than hearing about how women shouldn’t wear this and that to avoid getting assaulted.

        • SF Bay Associate

          Jezebel discussed this last month:

          http://jezebel.com/5608138/what-you-were-wearing-when-you-were-sexually-harassed

          Quoting:
          Certain trends emerged from the 678 fill-in answers. Apparently, some men love to harass pregnant women, or women caring for small children. (Whores!) Being sloppy or unwashed, wearing something baggy or ill-fitting — these appear to be the equivalent of “asking for it” to certain dudes.

          On Friday afternoon there appeared to be a minor troll invasion, with a quick succession of suspect posts referring to prostitution and “asking for it,” adding, “getting greeted by a male is not harassment.” Thanks for that insight! A response that was far more pertinent and summed up the general sentiment: “The only categories i didn’t check are clothes i don’t wear.”

          Some other highlights:

          while picking my nose
          in a bar, in a car, in a hat, on a mat…
          carrying stacks of books around from the library
          in scout uniform, in overalls and in granny jumpers
          wearing a hijab
          walking, waiting for a bus, generally being female
          wearing USMC camo uniform
          with women/with my girlfriend/at pride and/or queer events
          walking to a restaurant with my parents at age 13
          picking up dog poop
          giving a guy a lapdance.
          doing the time warp
          in an ambulance after I broke my LEG.
          While at the top of a 20 foot ladder.
          entering a house of worship
          Unbathed in the aftermath of a hurricane by out of state rescue workers.
          dressed as the Virgin Mary (not a joke)
          karate uniform
          dressed as a toy soldier for a production of The Nutcracker, at age 12
          crying my eyes out over a family death
          walking my son in stroller; attending a pro-choice lobby day at my state capital
          wearing my Arby’s uniform
          while having a job interview at an outside cafe
          crying/ about to get an abortion
          Like a fucking Amish lady
          As a 9 year old, wearing overalls.
          with horse-manure stains on my clothes and hay in my hair
          wearing ann taylor
          in a gargoyle costume (it was Halloween, and no, I wasn’t a “sexy gargoyle.”

          • SF Bay Associate

            Adding spaces in the address to avoid moderation: http:// jezebel. com/5608138/what-you-were-wearing-when-you-were-sexually-harassed

            Based on Jezebel’s unscientific poll, and the interesting comments to the post, it does not matter what you are wearing. Men who want to sexually harass women will sexually harass women.

          • Anonymous

            Thank you so much for this comment, truly. The above chat about the subject is so incredibly disheartening– the brightest, most accomplished, empowered, professional young women so sadly disinheriting the responsibility to support one another that comes along with all of the right we have inherited as the daughters of 2nd wave feminism. Sexual harassment is not about the victim– you cannot earn it. It is about the aggressor and his power over women as a group, including we sparkling, classy, covered-up corporate Corporettes. We might make ourselves feel safer from victimization by saying– that happens to trashy girls, not to educated, elegant women like me. But it can happen to any of us, and None of us deserve it, ever. Let’s love eachother.

      • lawDJ

        But she’s a television reporter for a television station in Mexico, she’s also operating within THAT culture at the same time that she’s covering the game. And THAT culture pays the bills. Plus, I agree with the other commenter. You seem to be saying she WANTED to be harassed. By that logic, the men should’ve been harassed as well, heck they were half naked in the locker room and allowing anyone to enter! Someone should’ve grabbed themselves some!

        • Same Hispanic commenter from 2:54

          I don’t think she wanted to be harassed, but she also does not claim to have been harassed (a third party made the allegation). I do think she’s enjoying the media coverage, which has given her exposure in the US/English-speaking market.

    • govvie girl

      Final thought: You can’t control whether the people you encounter are jerks, good citizens, thugs or gentlemen. But you can control the message you send out, and this is via your speech and how you present yourself. Whether the message is received depends on the recepient. That is social interaction.

      • v

        Sure, control what you wear and how you present yourself. That doesn’t mean it will protect you. It doesn’t mean other people will be protected. It doesn’t mean it’s their fault if they present themselves in a way you don’t approve of and get attacked. It also doesn’t mean that if they do get attacked, we should jump to scrutinizing how they presented themselves. And the fact is, that’s what happens to women who get sexually assaulted every single day. We want to believe that we’re immune because we’re good girls who do the right thing, but we’re not. It’s enraging and unfair, but it’s the fact of the thing. It’s not right to put blame that should devolve onto the perpetrators onto the women who was victim.

        • govvie girl

          I absolutely agree with you. As I stated there are thugs and jerks out there, and you could present yourself as totally off-limits, in a Catholic sister’s habit or conservative Muslim garb, and they’d still ogle, harass or assault you. Unfortunately, I have run into some of these d-bags. These are the guys who don’t get it or are criminals. But, in non-criminal behavior, presenting oneself one way to the world gets a different vibe from presenting oneself another way. When I was in uniform, I got completely different reactions from civilian men than I get sometimes now. Mind you, these are typically men who view all situations (work, etc.) as meat markets (uh, boundaries?). In the duration of working at one office building, I was leered at or literally hit on by a few different guys while getting food in a fast food place near the building. (Seriously?) So, yes, some guys are anything from idiots to d-bags to criminals, but for the rest of the world, how you present yourself (apparel, posture, speech, etc.) plays a large part in how you are treated. Just look at “What Not to Wear.”

  14. SaDeLe

    Thread hijack:

    THANK YOU to the corporettes who advised me re: what to wear and carry to an interview in Miami, and to all the corporettes over the years who have great advice re: interview attire, accessories, etc.

    I have been interviewing a lot this summer and basically I have gone into each one dressed as business formal as I can afford. This means a very nice suit (but not a designer one from top of line fabric,) a conservative blouse, and fairly conservative jewelry. I never ever carried a purse (leather work tote, plain and black and polished and cleaned before each outing,) and always wore stockings and heels.

    In every case I was dressed “better” than the person interviewing me. In every case my “professional image”/ “exceptional presentation” was feedback I got from the recruiter.

    I have two offers, both slightly above my target salary, to choose between.

    I did other things, too– but wearing that skirt suit, stockings, heels and pearls: worth all the effort and aggravation.

    Also– based on my experience, DO bring copies of your resume, references, cover letter to interviews on NICE paper. Every time I offered these I got a positive comment, even when they said it was unnecessary.

    So– thanks to all here whose counsel helped me make the right sartorial choices. And– good luck to the job hunters!

    (Oh– I’m not an attorney, I’m a laid off HR generalist using this opportunity to move up into business partner/consultative role in big corp. environment)

  15. SF Bay Associate

    My biglaw firm pays for one bar membership and out of habit I joined the ABA last year. It’s time to renew, and I’m not sure whether I should stick with the ABA or have the firm pay for a different group, maybe one more practice-centric or something. What do you ladies think? What are you a member of and how toes it help you? All I seem to get out of the ABA are magazines I don’t read and discounts at Hertz.

    • Cat

      I’ve had the same experience with the ABA, and would recommend instead sticking with your local (city) bar association (as opposed to state) for more useful events / networking, local news, and more relevant discounts.

    • lawDJ

      I think it really depends on whether you’re going to get involved with the group. If you’re not, look at perks such as the magazines or Hertz discounts, that may be all you have time for and it may be worth it. But I think the value in these groups is in becoming active in them, by joining a smaller section group, attending their networking events, CLEs, etc. If I was going to at least try to be more active and choose a group that way, I would look at their past calendar and sections that interest me and see if I would’ve been interested in going to any of those events.

    • North Shore

      Are you in litigation? The ABA Litigation Section’s magazine (Litigation Journal) is without a doubt the most helpful and interesting litigation publication out there. I’ve learned tons of useful tips from it over the last decade. That said, I’m not a member of the ABA — I read it in the library. What’s your field? I’d try for an organization that’s field-specific, so you can attend their meetings and make contacts, and eventually take on a leadership position.

    • Anonymous

      In addition to what others have said, the ABA has a number of public service projects that you support with your dues, like the Rule of Law Initiative (http://www.abarol.org), the Commission on Immigration (www.abanet.org/immigration/) or the Commission on Domestic Violence (www.abanet.org/domviol/), which also provide opportunities for lawyers to do pro bono work.

    • Mille

      I get nothing out of the ABA. The CLE’s are all nationwide-type events, so it doesn’t help me for networking. The magazines all deal with federal issues that don’t apply to me. I use my state bar card to get discounts at various places, so the ABA is really not helpful.

      I practice criminal defense, and the best group I’ve ever joined is the criminal defense association in my State. (It’s not part of the State bar). They put on at least 8-10 very good and very relevant and timely CLE’s every year; have a listserv that you can network and post questions to; publish items such as the DUII guide, Major Felonies guide, a trial notebook, etc.; and provide updates on relevant cases through a subscription program. I love the organization. I’ve found many mentors that way, and have been able to help others and receive help through the listserv many times. I like being able to talk to people who do the same type of work as I do. They also have a legislative section that advocates for the defense lawyers whenever legislation comes through that will affect us. It’s a great resource for legislative history because they go to all the hearings.

      I’m also a member of two sections of my State bar– criminal and family law. The family law has a listserv that isn’t helpful at all. You post a question to it and you get snarky answers that basically tell you to figure it out yourself. Not such a friendly group. The magazines for the section do help, because they deal with state law.

    • K

      Also consider your local Inn of Court: http://www.innsofcourt.org
      You will meet monthly with the same group of 50-60 attys/judges for dinner/CLE. Benefits are meeting other people on a *regular* basis so that you can develop relationships with them — much better, IMO, than orgs where you may meet a person one time and then not see them again….

      And consider your local defense/plantiffs’ association: http://www.adcnc.org (for the defense bar). Again, you are meeting with the same-ish group of people on a regular basis — CLEs will be targeted to your practice areas and it’s a useful forum for meeting your next employer… ;)

      I’ve been a member of both, but have let my Inn membership lapse b/c I have limited time and get more of what I need/want from the local defense org.

    • i'm nobody

      imo, the ABA is just a really expensive magazine subscription. the best thing is the Brooks Brothers 15% discount, but i usually shop the sales because retail is for suckas.

      i *strongly* second Inns of Court, especially if you’re a litigator.

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