Weekend Open Thread

489 Comments

1. :)

   1. That was in reply to cbackson!

2. Skincare Question: I’m in my mid 20s, and I have always had oily, acne prone skin. Now, I’m starting to get small crows feet by my eyes, wrinkles across my forehead, etc. They are very small, but I want to work on prevention. Any suggestions for anti-aging creams that won’t make me break out? I’m hesitant to shell out $50+ for a tiny little jar of miracle cream only to find that it makes my acne flare.

   1. I also had oily, acne prone skin. At 30, I did a round of Accutane that worked miracles. Wish I had done it earlier.

      What I also wish:

      1. That I had started wearing sunscreen religiously earlier.
      2. That I had started wearing large sunglasses (and hats) earlier.
      3. That I had discussed with my dermatologist preventive Botox/Dysport in my early 30s instead of waiting to use it to treat wrinkles in my early 40s.

   2. Do you use any retinoids (prescription or non)? I’ve heard these are good for trouble skin that has both acne/wrinkles because it tackles both problems.

      I’m in my mid-late 20s and my skin sounds exactly like yours. It’s a nightmare. I hate still having problem skin at this stage in my life. I actually look forward to getting older and my skin drying out! In the meantime, I’ve had some success with prescription retinoids. Just make sure you are religious about sunscreen.

   3. Third on the retinoids, prescription version, not OTC retinols. You can get your insurance to cover Retin-A if your derm prescribes it and attests to the pharmacy that you have acne. So it’ll clear up or at least help with your acne and also help prevent wrinkles. Winning!

      (is “winning” outdated now?)

      Also, I have been having all of these conversations myself about eye creams (see above) and I’m acne prone. I wouldn’t put this anywhere else on my face, but have been using creams around my eyes, and none of them have made me break out.

3. [update on dinner with husband’s ex-wife – skip if not interested]

   Dear ‘Rettes,

   Many thanks for all the advice and tips about getting through dinner with my husband’s former wife, her family and my stepkids. I really appreciated your words, and they were very helpful.

   As with so many things, my worst expectations — yelling and namecalling and outright lies at the dinner table — didn’t happen. (We might have forestalled that approach by bringing mom a framed photo of her kids that we had recently taken and inviting her to open it, in front of everyone, as soon as we arrived.)

   Instead, I was treated to a display of “native culture” that Seattleite (of the advice “Pretend you’re an anthropologist – you are observing and collecting data, and your Prime Directive is to NOT alter the culture of the natives.”) could love. It appears that when former wife is nervous, she must “act out” and become the center of attention. This meant being the one telling stories all through dinner, interrupting anyone else’s stories with her own editorializing (bonus points for reminding me that I wasn’t there for earlier years) or interrupting any discussion she wasn’t controlling by bursting out into song.

   Yes, you read that correctly: a 46 year old woman bursting out into song in the middle of a formal dinner of 12 people, mostly adults (youngest person in 7th grade). Even weirder, her “kids” (16 and 20, my stepkids) JOINED her in every song. These kids have sat at my dinner table, and at fancy and casual restaurants all around the world, with their dad and me for years. They know what appropriate dinner table behavior is. And isn’t. It was as if they were performing for mom to calm her down.

   As a result of this bizarre, native behavior, my job to remain calm and pleasant was relatively easy. Nonetheless, you all put me at ease in the days leading up to the big event. Thanks for that.

   1. I’m so glad that it went well! I find that dreaded events are rarely as horrible as I think they’ll be.

      As an aside — I used to get in trouble all.the.time. for singing at the table.

   2. I think I would have burst out laughing if an Adult Someone (even someone I greatly disliked) spontaneously started singing at the dinner table.

      Hope you were able to find a little enjoyment in the ridiculousness while remaining calm and pleasant!

   3. Wow. Weird. Were they show tunes? A close family friend tends to do this, but AFAIK, it’s never at a restaurant.

      Glad you got thought it. :)

      1. @ EM
         Not show tunes. We were at grandma and grandpa’s house (ex’s parents). She was bursting out into Shabbat songs, which is technically not completely inappropriate because it was Shabbat dinner, but those songs are always sung as a group, before you sit down, as you are lighting the candles/blessing the wine and bread — not spontaneously in the middle of dinner conversation.

         @TiredSquared
         I did not laugh. Frankly, I was to stunned to laugh. It really caught me off guard. And in the two days since, I’ve been trying to figure out why SS and SD think that’s normal, or if they think it’s normal, or if they do it because it keeps mom from yelling.

         1. I love your story. I wasn’t familiar with the context but glad it all worked out well. Nice touch on the framed photo gift – good idea!

            And I like that your SD and SS joined in the singing … rather than stay silent and let their mom warble on solo. If they’re like any other typical teenagers, I’m sure they would have preferred NO singing, but it’s nice of them to sing with her. I’m sure it was a nerve-wracking night for her as well.

            Happy Thanksgiving!

4. I am a 2008 law grad who has had trouble finding work, and am wondering whether the forum might have some ideas about how to handle my job search. My academic pedigree is strong (I went to an ivy league law school and recently finished an LLM from a well-respected university in Europe), but my work experience is nontraditional (between law school and my LLM I worked as a lobbyist for a nonprofit in the South). Over the past several months I have looked for a litigation position and have had some interviews with nonprofits, government agencies, even some federal judges but none of these prospects materialized in an offer.

   At this point, I am beginning to feel desperate, but I’m not sure where to look for work. I constantly check online jobpostings, and I have been in touch with my school’s career services department. Does anyone have any ideas of how to proceed? It’s my understanding that I wouldn’t be a good candidate to work with a recruiter, but it is worth sending out “cold” emails/resumes to firms?

   1. What do you want to do? Seems like you’re a bit all over the place with your applications. Applying broadly can be a good strategy, but it’s not working for you so far. Maybe it would be better to identify what you want to do (litigation, lobbying, clerkship) and then concentrate all your efforts in that area. I’m sure we could also give more useful advice if we had an idea what your goal was.

5. Hi ladies
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6. I want a pair sendra biker boots for christmas, but now most of you are posting so stylish modoel that I don’t know if I make the right choice or not…. And I still keep looking all of the models and advices that have been posted :) shame on me!

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