Weekend Open Thread

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Hepcat ShadesSomething on your mind? Chat about it here. I just got a pair of Pucci sunglasses I absolutely love, but Madewell's new collection of shades is kind of calling my name. They have normal tortoiseshell and black ones, but I'm particularly fond of the quirkier ones like these fuchsia pink “hepcat” shades. (While you're there, check out the intimates section — lots of really lovely things — and the sale section, filled with cute dresses). The shades are $55 at Madewell. Hepcat Shades (L-2)

Sales of note for 2/7/25:

  • Nordstrom – Winter Sale, up to 60% off! 7850 new markdowns for women
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 25% off your $175+ purchase — and $30 of full-price pants and denim
  • Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 15% off
  • Boden – 15% off new season styles
  • Eloquii – 60% off 100s of styles
  • J.Crew – Extra 50% off all sale styles
  • J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything including new arrivals + extra 20% off $125+
  • Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 40% off one item + free shipping on $150+

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

594 Comments

  1. SYDNEY BRISTOW: I saw slips at the downtown C21 when I was there. She’s prolly never going to find this comment tho, I’ll try to repost during the week.

        1. We will need to meet and discuss options for dead drops that are more stealth than this. ;-)

  2. I bought a really cute coral jersey dress at Talbots and want to replace the fabric self belt with a real belt. Suggestions?

      1. I always replace fabric belts with real belts. Skinny belts would work fine. Yellow? Orange even? Or green?

        1. Ditto. Funnily enough, I usually save those and pair them up with something totally different.

      2. I bought a couple Ralph Lauren stretch belts at Nordstrom’s – a black one and a brown one – and wear them with everything.

        1. Whoa — there is an exact copy of this dress at Target (though I’m sure the fabric isn’t at nice) right now. I just bought it yesterday in a bright coral/tangerine color. For those looking for a cheaper option, it was only $24.99!

    1. Me too! It looked so pretty, and I really love that dress. I have such a girl crush on her.

  3. I am interviewing someone for the first time next week and I have a couple questions:
    1) Does anyone have suggestions for good questions to ask? I can ask things I’ve been asked beofre but am looking for more creative ideas.
    2) After the interview I have to take the candidate to the office of a senior partner I barely know. How does that work? Do I call the partner first? Do I introduce the candidate to him even though I just met the candidate myself a few minutes ago? Basically, what do I say?

    1. I’ll start by saying that I’m not an attorney so YMMV. As for questions, think about what you want to know about the person, then craft your questions to get at those things. I think some of the best questions ask a person to describe situations where they’ve had to solve problems or do tasks or projects that illustrate the skills and experience you’re looking for. In my last interview, I asked the person “Describe how you are a great fit for this position and how it is a great fit for you.” My colleagues were initially skeptical but it turned out to be a really good question.

      And yes, I think you need to introduce the candidate to his or her next interviewer.

    2. 1) Manager Tools has several podcasts on how to conduct interviews. They also have an Interview Creation Tool for subscribers. These are from the interviewer’s perspective:

      – How to end an interview with a candidate you won’t hire
      – The first rule of probing in an interview (how to evaluate answers)
      – Taking notes in an interview

      2) In my experience, you would escort me to the next interviewer and conduct introductions. I’ve also had the person escorting me ask the next interviewer if interviewer had a copy of my resume. “Sally, I’d like to introduce you to Scooby Doo. Scooby is interviewing for the position of top dog.” If there is anything from your interview that you think might be of interest to senior partner, feel free to mention it.

    3. I get good answers when I ask people to tell me something interesting about themselves that is not on their resume or cover letter.

      1. This is my favorite question to ask as well. So interesting to see people think on their feet and the answers can be so enlightening – some go with personal stuff, some professional.

      2. So as an interviewee, I actually hate this question. If I wanted you to know something, I would have put it on one of those. There is a section at the bottom of our resumes for activities and interests, and it is sort of annoying to have to talk about something else, because it’s usually something I don’t care about at all.

        1. Maybe it is regional but most resumes where I am do not have an “activities and interests” section.

        2. It’s probably regional, but I agree with Alana that if I wanted you to know something, I’d have put it on my resume. Are you so short of topics of discussion that you have have to throw out this kind of meaningless open-ended blather? This isn’t a cocktail party, if you lack imagination you can always talk more about what the job really consists of.

    4. Does your firm have an outline or job description? You are not just trying to get to know a person and chit-chat — you should have specific job criteria that the person will be convincing you that he/she can accomplish. Your questions should be geared to that end. Like if you have difficult clients, “please give me an example of a time you had a conflict with a client and how you resolved it.” If it’s for litigation, “what skills do you have that you believe will make you an effective trial lawyer.” Others I like are “describe the tools you use to manage your time,” or “describe a situation that really tested your ability to meet a deadline.” Those kind of “tell me a time that . . .” or “tell me how you have handled this situation” questions are more likely to give you better information about how to evaluate a candidate than “how did you like law school.” And yes you call the partner first; you don’t want to be standing in the hall with the candidate looking unorganized when the partner isn’t there or is on the phone.

  4. I have good news and bad news:

    Hart of Dixie was renewed for another season (it was up in the air, I was worried.)

    GCB was cancelled. This makes me sad.

    I have honestly been waiting for this news about HOD. another year of shirtless wade!!!

    1. Am I the only one whose shows always get cancelled? I don’t watch much TV, but whenever I pick a show, it never lasts. This year I liked A Gifted Man and it didn’t make it much past Christmas. After New Years, I picked up Awake, with Jason Isaccs (Lucius Malfoy) and really liked it, and it was cancelled on Friday. My fave for years was L&O: SVU but it is past its prime.

  5. Anyone have any recommendations for a workout notebook? My trainer wants me to bring a notebook and I’m not sure if there is an especially good kind or something other than the $1 Mead ones I saw at CVS.

    1. I like to use ones that have a plastic cover — you know, the ones with the pretty design and then a translucentish piece of plastic as a separate “page” on top — because… well, my hands are often sweaty after a workout, and I feel like it’s a little less gross if I can wipe the sweat off instead of having it absorb into the cardboard.

      Otherwise, though, a $1 Mead one sounds fine. Mine’s a 9x6inch, college-ruled thing so I have room to plan/record my strength training sets and make notes about when I need to go up in weight, or record time and distance for runs. Nothing super fancy.

  6. Can anyone here recommend a non-religious wedding officiant in the Seattle area? Fiance and I are planning our small, family-only wedding from afar and we don’t know anyone appropriate. (We do not want a family member to do it.) Searched online, communicated with one who seemed most promising, and was not impressed. We’re pretty non-sentimental people and would like to be married by someone who is quietly cheerful and dignified, not flowery, and who can handle having a few conversations/emails with people living overseas (us) prior to the wedding. Thanks in advance for any suggestions.

    1. Do you have a particularly dignified aunt or uncle? I’ve seen a few people married by relations and it always seems nice.

    2. The city clerk’s office or whoever gives marriage licenses there probably has a list of officiants. Often a justice of the peace (or equivalent) will be willing to come to your ceremony location instead of doing it at the courthouse.

    3. A co-worker/friend got certified to conduct her nephew’s ceremony, so I know it’s easy.

      Or I could ask her if she wants to conduct yours?

    4. Wedding officiant OP here. Thanks for the responses. I know that becoming an officiant is easy — I have been an officiant myself. We don’t want a family member to do it because both sides are religious (and not of the same religion) and choosing one side to do it would cause strife. I was hoping someone had had a good experience with a non-religious officiant who they could personally recommend. Ah well.

      1. Hey Anon — if you have any lawyer friends in Seattle, maybe they could recommend a good judge? I always think judges have just the right amount of gravitas to lend the proceedings something special. If I had a non-religious wedding, I would have wanted a family friend who is a judge to have done it.

  7. Hi everyone, I wore out my favorite summer work shoes – a pair of black, peep toe slingbacks and need some recommendations. These are primarily to wear to work in a corporate environment but obviously not business formal. Heel no higher than 2.75″ (bad knees) but not flats. Bonus points for under $150.

  8. This is a longshot, but does anyone know of a good eyebrow threader in Pittsburgh?

    1. Don’t know if Monroeville is too far out for you to make the trip–but I have had my eyebrows threaded at Brows R Us, the woman who works there (I think the owner?) did a great job. It did cost a bit more than I’ve paid in other cities (I think it was $12 plus tip), but I assume that’s because there’s not really any other threading salons in the area to drive the price down!

    2. No personal experience, but my friend likes Veraldi, off Craig street in Oakland, and her eyebrows look great?

      1. That sounds like just the ticket – close by to me and has some great reviews on yelp. Thank you!

  9. Thank you to all of you who answered my salary range question on Thursday!

    I made a decision to go with the slightly lower salary (still within the range you all quoted) because that came with extra paid vacation time and will most likely involve more of the DR/DV law I’m interested in. I’m so excited to start my first real life lawyer job!

  10. I have some deep rooted issues/depression from childhood and traumatic incidents in my past which has caused me to be withdrawn and unhappy for years (think crippling depression where I cannot get out of bed some days).

    I’m now seeking to do something about it. I’m having issues trying to find a therapist though. I live in London where its not therapy is not as common or widely accepted as the US and people don’t talk about it. My GP referred me to someone who I didn’t feel comfortable with. I’ve been on the internet and found a list of therapist with the appropriate qualifications – just not sure how to wade through this list.

    Does anyone have recommendations for therapists in London, or perhaps therapists you;ve worked with on webcam/skype? Or does anyone have advice on how to find a therapist. Thanks

    1. No real advice but good job taking this scary first step. I know K in Transition is a social worker and was considering doing skype therapy on the side. Not sure if she is still considering that now that she moved and found another job.

      I have seen therapists for situation anxiety (like fear of flying) and I picked them out by finding ones online that accepted my insurance and then checking web bios until I found one that I thought I might click with. Then I made an appointment and checked him/her out. I’ve only had multiple because I’ve moved five times.

      1. am here and am doing such though it’s a direct payment (not through insurance). :) feel free to email my personal account for details! munchkin 1616 at juno dot com

    2. I am in the UK, and I simply used a directory to find a therapist with appropriate qualifications and specialist areas that I thought would be most relevant, and who was geographically convenient. Luckily, she suited me and we work well together – but do not hesitate to have trial sessions with a couple of different people if you don’t ‘click’ with the first. This is very important.

      Well done for taking the initial steps, and have courage to continue.

      1. Thanks for replying Blonde Lawyer and Anon Four this, and for the encouragement.

        I have no insurance – I’ve so far narrowed it down to the geographically convenient which is still a daunting list. I guess I’ll just bite the bullet and pick one. Without insurance I don’t really want to be trying too many of them.

        K thanks also for chiming in. I’ll try a face to face therapist first and if this doesn’t work I’ll email you with questions on how your skype/webcam service works and what type of problems you deal with.

        1. You’re welcome.

          You could also get in touch with your local Mind association or take a look at their website http://www.mind.org.uk/help/medical_and_alternative_care/understanding_talking_treatments#getstarted (there are also links to directories at the bottom of that page).

          Like you I don’t have health insurance (for US readers – this is pretty ususal in the UK as our public health service is generally excellent and free) but I see a private therapist, mainly because referral through the NHS takes so long. Mine charges at the lower end of the scale, but costs do vary and it may be possible to make special arrangements if this is an issue for you.

  11. Fashion help, please! I live in DC. Early 30s, BigLaw, apple shape size 6. I moved to DC (from NY) with dreams of living a more active lifestyle, especially on weekends. I want to spend hours walking about, and sign up for bike share to check out parks 3-5 miles away. What on earth am I supposed to wear?

    It’s too hot for jeans, and I can’t see biking in a skirt. But my body isn’t what it used to be — biglaw has taken it’s toll, and my pasty, atrophied, 30-something legs just don’t belong in tiny shorts. How can I look semi-stylish (so I won’t be embarrassed to see people) and still dress for moderate physical activity?

    Same question for footwear. I own flip-flops, running shoes, hiking boots and high heels. What can I wear for a full day of walking that doesn’t look ridiculous?

    I’m going to Europe this summer, so same questions apply for that, and I’m happy to spend some $$. I truly just have no idea where/how to shop for casual clothes as an adult.

    1. I like to wear Bermuda shorts for this type of a sightseeing day when it is warm.You could also go for cropped or rolled chinos. For shoes, I like fashion sneakers or more casual flat shoes that will stay on (safety is a consideration when bike riding). I have a couple of pairs of Privos for this purpose.

    2. capri pants and long shorts (think Bermuda length) for bottoms, and plain tees are good casual clothes without being too “I’m going to the gym”. Several others have recommended Chacos or Clark’s sandals/flats as being comfortable and good for walking. I like Target’s Merona tees, and Loft usually has a good casual section this time of year.

    3. I wear my Privo (by Clarks) shoes for both casual biking in the city and also for trips to Europe, so that makes two of us.

      You can try terrybicylces dot com for bike wear. They sell biking skirts to wear over bike shorts and also skorts. I like these because they are less in-your-face than just bike shorts alone. They also sell biking cargo pants and capris.

      Title nine dot com has tons of active wear, and they are very helpful over the phone. Just looking at their catalogue gives me ideas of who to wear things.

    4. DC’s too damn hot in the summer to worry about looking super put together every day. You’re just going to be covered in sweat, anyway. I wear dresses with bike shorts underneath pretty much nonstop from April until October. I can bike fine like that so long as the skirt isn’t too long. I see a lot of women riding bikes in dresses with bike shorts underneath, and it’s not a big deal if the skirt gets hiked up a bit. Sometimes I wear a t-shirt with linen trousers or capris. Most of my casual clothes come from Loft, Lands End, Gap, Eddie Bauer, etc.

      You need comfortable, supportive shoes. Look at the footwear of everyone else around you – no one is concerned with having super-stylish shoes. I usually wear FitFlops (these are the BEST, love them), Keens, or sneakers.

      Stop worrying about how your legs look when you’re out and about. No one cares, and exercise is the antidote to atrophied legs anyway.

      Also, make sure you wear sunscreen and a hat!

      1. This. Definitely check out “hiking” or other outdoorsy type clothes. They’re made of fabric designed to be light and quick-drying, and as long as you choose carefully, they’re still fairly attractive. If I’m doing a lot of walking, or biking I prefer to wear sneakers. I have some textile-upper Onitsuka Tigers that I *love*, and they’re slim/flat enough to wear with shorts or capris and not look like the tourists walking around in their gym shoes and khaki shorts. :)

        I am also a huge fan of skirts and dresses in the summer here, though. To me, they’re much cooler than shorts, and anything that makes me feel cool when it’s 100 degrees and 90% humidity is my friend.

    5. Old Navy sells 7-in shorts online. They’re not quite as long as bermudas, but not so short that I have to worry about them hiking up.
      Another vote for Clark Privos, too.

  12. Question about business cards and job experience. In the last 2 years, I went from being an financial analyst/accountant roles in the private sector (with a poli sci degree) to a financial analyst with the govt. The degree was never an issue w my former employer (Fortune 1000, I know I was lucky in this regard) but it is now with potential employers. The govt financial analyst job also ended up being mislabeled and was really an HR, customer/employee relations, and minor budget job. I’m ready to move on & this is making things difficult.

    Are there any volunteering or other things I could do to beef up finance, accounting, or HR skills? I feel like my resume is sort of scattered bc of the last job & I need to fill in some gaps.

    Also, what would you recommend for name-only business cards. So many look cheap or out of proportion if the company data section is left blank.

    1. Consider taking a few classes in finance or accounting at a local college. If you took classes like this in college, by all means, highlight them on your resume! I have seen a lot of students put down things like this:

      Jane Smith
      Fictitious College B.A., Political Science, cum laude, 2010
      Significant coursework in finance and economics: Microeconomics, Macroeconomics, Statistics 101, Econometrics, Behavioral Finance

      Honestly, if you’ve had 2 finance-related jobs, I’m surprised your undergrad degree is still at issue.

      For name-only business cards, I’d suggest designing a colored logo with your initials, which helps fill in some of blank space left by no company name or contact info.

      1. I think part of it may be that the current job is officially a “financial analyst” but there are very few duties that I can put on my resume that fall under that. Also, The place is sort of toxic and like an abusive boyfriend with the praise and passive-aggressive shame cycle that my confidence has suffered which does come out in interviews. I know I need to work on how I react to the latter.

        Thanks for the logo suggestion. I was playing at modifing one of the basic crane calling cards in vistaprint or moo today since crane is so expensive. That would help jazz it up some or at least provide filler.

        The classes would also help prep for a CMA which I could get now. It’s not as good as the CPA but work will pay for it and I can always go for the CPA after getting all the hours in.

        1. I was just coming here to post a suggestion that you take the CMA exam. It would fill in a few blanks and is a credible certification, although less well known than a CPA designation.

    2. There is an HR certification you can do by studying and taking a test, but I only recommend this if you actually want to pursue HR. It’s an area that always has jobs, but isn’t for everyone. Why waste the time on credentials if it isn’t what you are after because it will only take you further down that road.

      1. I looked at it. I really prefer being able to hide in my numbers and reports. Still interacting through softball or projects. From my experience, and listening to others; HR is unliked in general, has very little authority, and a horrible place to be when moral is low (40% ish fav) and management does not care.

      2. I also have found I can be more practical when coming from a Finance position. That people may not like what you are doing but will respect you more repect overall because you can use different language and methods. The two examples below are about e-services and detailed the HR and Finance plans. The Finance one went over better with employees.

        A HR plan involved 5 or 6 voluntary phases of attack with a mandatory dropdead date a yr or two out. All with messages targeted to different groups. Not always paying attention that the messages do not agree with eachother but you are still speaking to the same group overall and people will talk. They did state enrollment was voluntary to all the phases and only pulled the mandatory card at the end.

        Coming from Finance, I gave 1 message. For example, barring any local or bargaining agreements, X will take effect in 3 months. You can switch now if you wish and want time to see how it will change things. It is good for the company because it will save $X but it will also provide you with earlier access to information, quicker processing of changes, and you can pull reports on demand instead of having to request them and wait.

  13. Ack! Yesterday a friend (really of a friend) from college (I’m 5 years out) texted me that he was going to be at a bar close to me last night and asked if I wanted to meet up. I knew he was going out with his business school friends, so I said yes. I’ve been thinking of applying to business school there and I thought it would be fun to talk to some students there. But I think he thought this was a date! He was super flirty and then tried to kiss me at the end of the night and is now texting me. He’s a nice guy, but I don’t think of him like that. Why is being single so hard?

    1. Ugh. PSA for men: If you invite someone out via text message, this is not a date!

      My sympathies. Did you make clear last night that you didn’t want to kiss him? If not, I’d write him an email that says something like, “Hey friend, it was nice to see you last night, but your trying to kiss me at the end of the night made me really uncomfortable. I’d love to see you the next time you’re in the neighborhood, but please, let’s just keep it platonic.” And then I’d never mention it again. He’s probably really embarrassed about it.

    2. Ugh, yeah, this is one of the things I hate most about being single: the vague, incomprehensible, wildly varying standards people have for what counts as a date, what counts as dating, and how a person initiates either of those activities. When a guy actually has it together enough to ask me, several days in advance, to go do something date-like, he shoots way up in my opinion. This is opposed to foolishness like you describe, which no one in his right mind should think is a date, or like the guy who invites himself along to something I’m already doing, and then thinks he sneakily changed it into being a date mid-way through, which, yes, actually happened to me a few months ago.

  14. It might be too late in the weekend for this, but. OMG, I need help.

    I recently lost my job as a junior litigation associate, and, because it was in a town just a few hours away form my family, I have just moved back home at my parents’ “save money, it’s better” urging. I actually really did not like my job very much, and I hated the city to which I’d moved (it was the only job I could find at the time, and I felt lucky just to have one). Not surprisingly, though, I went through an extreme down period and then I got myself together and started being proactive.

    I figured I will use this as an “opportunity” to get a job I like even more, where I could be happy in the long term. Now, I spend my days sending out as many job applications as I can (I have a minimum of 20 a day, which I almost always meet). Otherwise, I enjoy running and reading and cooking, and I have also been watching some new TV shows. I am trying to keep my head above water, and some days are better than others.

    My parents , however, have been both nice and extremely unhelpful at the same time. We’ve always been a close-knit family and I have all the time and creature comforts available to me, but they have been increasingly and continually so critical of me that I am starting to hate myself and have no idea what to do. I can’t really see beyond the “I suck” refrain. I don’t go to bed early enough, get up early enough, waste too much time on exercising (under an hour!) and cooking (same), watch “stupid” TV shows (The Nanny makes me feel better!), do not behave as if this were an emergency and show enough panic and care about the situation (I am positively.dying, just trying to not be miserable, as I cannot really be productive if I am in a self-hating cycle), etc. I have tried talking to them nicely and rationally, but it only seems to make things worse. It’s like we just do not understand each other, at all. Also, we’re first generation immigrants from southeastern Europe, to I am now getting the cultural crying-mother- you-are-killing-me stuff. I am at the end of my rope and just cannot see straight (um, or apply for jobs, apparently).

    Does anyone have any experiences or advice on dealing with critical parents (beyond moving out, which is in progress)? Thanks so much.

    1. If the issue is truly them not thinking you’re doing enough to find work, maybe throw some butcher paper on the wall of your bedroom and write down the names of the companies (or even tally marks) for every resume you send so they can see your progress? Old school folks don’t understand that we send resumes by email, so it looks like we sit on our kiesters while they remember going and knocking on doors.

      If this is an issue of them just not being supportive or approving throughout your relationship, you have to choose whether to attempt to work on this (ask them to help support you by doing or not doing specific things, etc.) or if you want to work on yourself to learn not to let their words sink in so deeply (personal mantras, reminding yourself of the things you know are true about you even if the folks dispute them, etc.).

    2. No advice for dealing with the parents really, but I wanted to say that you absolutely need to take time for yourself to cook healthy meals, work out, and yes, sometimes, watch bubble-gum, happy-making tv. Under an hour of working out is not much, really. I would say you could actually up your workouts a bit! Get yourself good and tired and feeling like you’ve accomplished something!

      Ok, one note for dealing with your parents, are you helping out around the house at all? One thing I noticed just comparing my siblings’ experiences moving home with my own is that I really didn’t feel like my parents were pushing me back out. But I made sure to clean the kitchen when I was done, helped in the yard, vacuumed/swept, and kept my own room pretty tidy. I’m no neat freak, but I felt it was the least I could do to help out since I wasn’t working and they were. My siblings…not so much. And they really felt my parents were trying to push them out of the nest, being critical, etc… You didn’t mention it and you may already be doing it, but I know my parents appreciated it.

    3. Okay — I say this with love. You need to get out of your parent’s place. Do you have a friend who will rent you an extra room for a few hundred bucks a month? Perhaps get a job doing contract work or, if nothing else, waiting tables or doing retail or whatever — but get out of the house! Your parents are seriously messing with your mental state.

      On to the job search — 20 job applications a day is insane. At least in my mid-major market, as a junior litigator, there aren’t 20 jobs a day I’m even interested in, let along remotely qualified for. I sit possible you’re spending more of your time applying for jobs you have no hope of getting rather than less of your time focusing on jobs that might actually pan out, through personal connections or other resources. Part of the problem with job hunting is the constant, low-level of rejection in the background…no need to magnify this by applying for jobs you have no possibly qualifications for or wouldn’t want to do.

      If there is no way to move out from your parents right now, I’d sit down with them with an actual laid out schedule of your day (i.e. 8-9 am work out, 9-10 am internet searches, etc.) Explain to them how important the times in the schedule are for your focus on your job hunt and that you consider it critical to your success. Also explain that when they talk to you about it, you feel attacked. Then, if they continue to do it, cut them off and say “Remember, we talked about this.” And remind yourself that you aren’t doing anything wrong! In fact, you’re doing the right things. Just focus on that.

      1. I agree about getting away from the parents if at all possible, and also that 20 applications a day is quite a lot. If you can’t move out, try to just get out of the house for 4-5 hours per day. Maybe get a volunteer gig or if you have to, lie to them about where you are going and just go sit in a coffee shop or go to the gym. I assume your mom is home all day, which is why she knows what you’re doing all day. Also, could you maybe work with a recruiter? Maybe if they see you taking phone calls/going to a meeting, they’ll back off a bit.

        I can’t understand what the heck do they want you to be doing all day. 2 hours spent exercising and cooking is normal even if you have a full-time job. Your parents would drive me crazy too.

    4. You don’t suck! The family stuff does suck, I’m sorry its bad right now.

      I have to comment on the 20 applications a day minimum. For me, a good application takes me at least 45 with tailoring the cover letter, etc. Even if I’m slow, that you mean you are spending 10 hours a day on applications? That seems insane. If your spending a lot less than that, are you really tailoring your cover letter for each job? I think an important step is to make sure all your applications really count I don’t know how you could possibly be applying to 20 jobs a day, like someone said are there 20 jobs a day your qualified? And are you spending time using your connections for those positions?

    5. Yes, I have lots of experience with similar situations to yours.

      My parents are also very loving but also very demanding. I’m sure a part of it is me being hard on myself too, but nothing but the best is good enough at my house- both in school and in sports (I was a varsity athlete). I’m sure if I lost my job I would be facing the same sort of pressure as you.

      I also lived at home at one point (when I was finishing up school and taking the bar) for financial reasons. I understand the conflict between wanting to save money v. getting your own place for your sanity. Most people just say to get your own place, but I understand it might not be as simple as that. FWIW, I ended up sticking through it and lived at home.

      In my experience, it’s better to leave them out of the process as much as possible. No venting to them if you feel frustrated (bc, well, critical parents never seem to think that maybe you’re allowed to have a bad day every once in awhile), just keep everything more neutral but reasonably upbeat. That seems to work best for me.

      I know that’s not very much advice, but I think it’s one of those situations that no matter how much you try to explain it to them, or tell them how being critical makes you feel, it won’t change. My parents don’t seem to understand “feelings” so trying to explain things with your feelings will just get an eye roll.

      Best of luck to you!

    6. Ah, this one is very difficult. I think you’re expressing yourself very well to us here, can you maybe expand a little bit on what you’re doing, and write it up? And then sit them down, give them the list of your job-seeking actions in writing, and explain to them that you need their help in keeping up your morale. Try to explain to them that as immigrants as well as parents they’re probably not quite up to date about in these times of rapid changes how one looks for a job right now in this country, and that you would like them to see that you are doing your best, and working hard at it. It’d probably help if you could give them a few references that you have found for techniques, whether it’s for books or site like askamanager.com. Just something they can read for themselves, and feel that you’re reasonably on track according to that, and most of all that you’ve given some thought to the process.

      For an example, here’s something about a helpful periodic self-assessment of your progress (you don’t say how long it’s been, but assuming it’s been a while) http://blog.sfgate.com/gettowork/2012/05/10/riding-the-job-search-roller-coaster/ if you do this in writing and hand it over to them, along with perhaps your excel spreadsheet of jobs you’ve applied to and so on, they should hopefully be bowled over with how serious you’re being. Give them the original reference too, so they can think objectivelky about how it’s not easy.

      And then take note of CA atty’s excellent point, and ask if they think you’re doing enough around the house, and whether there’s something specific they’d like you to be doing as well. Then you can explain that the exercise and silly tv are attempts to deal with the mental health issues, but that you’re getting worried that their constant criticism is undermining that too much for you to be as effective as you’d like. Express gratefulness for them taking you in, but indicate that there can’t be an infinite price put on it.

      Expect some airing out of dirty laundry in the process, them expressing fears that you’ll just never find another job again and so on. Hopefully addressing the issue head-on will help clear the air. But also be prepared for it not to work, and having to move out all the same. I think it’s worth trying to talk, I’ve definitely been able to make great progress with my own mother by explaining to her how thing were different than in her youth. But I was lucky that my mother was open to the outside world, and read abundantly, and could be swayed with discussions of the business sections of the NYtimes, the WSJ etc. A friend of mine, also child of depression-era European parents, has never been able to budge her mother from the view that only a job in a bank is safe, and that job security is the only possible value to expect in life. Ha ha.

      Hang in there OP, and don’t give in to the self-hate! Things are bound to improve soon..

  15. My drycleaner has misplaced my interview suit…which I need for an interview tomorrow. Is it appropriate to wear a black suiting dress with a black blazer, instead of the usual skirt/blazer or trousers/blazer combo? They are not from the same line, but the difference is not noticeable, I think. If this doesn’t sound formal enough (think fairly conservative Fortune 500 firm), I will have to go buy something today I guess.

    1. I think you should be fine! (There was a thread about this a few weeks ago and the general consensus was that suit dress and matching, or in this case closely matching, blazer was okay). As long as it doesn’t look like you accidentally wore the wrong jacket with your dress, which is the only slight concern I’d worry about.

      But as long as you accessorize conservatively with pearls and nice shoes and your hair neat, etc., I’m sure you’ll be fine. I certainly wouldn’t run out and buy a new suit I wasn’t as confident in instead of wearing something I know works for me.

    2. Yes, we did talk this over recently, and consensus was that dress+ jacket was fine. You sound very calm about this, considering :-), which I think is a good indication that you’ll do great in your interview. Good luck!!!

  16. Starting my new job this morning and I am so nervous. I woke up at 5:00 a.m. when my alarm wasn’t supposed to go off until 7:00 a.m. Got in a run and caught up on Girls and Veep. Am super nervous but am almost positive that I won’t be fired on my first day.

    1. You can do it! You’ve already come got this far in life so you’ve obviously got a good set of experiences and abilities. ;-)
      If g-d forbid the new job ever becomes a bad fit you’ll retailor your professional life into a more flattering garment.
      Go forth looking terrific and have a great day!

  17. Transd is only going to permit enhancements in function in the border of physiology.

    *California Cove Designs, 26072 Calle Cobblestone,
    San Juan Capistrano, CA 92675; 714-615-8263;. While research has shown that there are two categories of aging-aging caused by our genes and aging caused by environmental factors,
    such as exposure to sun rays-it is estimated that 90% of the
    signs of aging are actually cause by the sun, not the passage of time.

Comments are closed.