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Updated: Oct 31, 2018 112 Comments · by

Weekend Open Thread

Weekend Open Thread |

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Sam Edelman Eleanor Buff NudeSomething on your mind? Chat about it here. This shoe is everywhere this season. I think it's sexy and fun, and I'm always surprised when such a classic style “comes back” because it's hard to believe it wasn't always in. Anyhoo: what is also surprising is that I cannot, despite my best efforts, find a kitten heel version of this. There are plenty of 4″ versions (here, here, here; 3.5,” 3.5,” 4.5″), as well as a few 3″ versions, but all of the lower heels (even 2.75!) have wider straps or more straps (T-strap, etc). (Although: M.Gemi has a flat version.)  The pictured shoe at least seems to have a lot of positive reviews — and at $130, it's among the more affordable versions. It's 4.75″ high (yaaa!) with a .75″ platform. Sam Edelman Eleanor Happy weekend, ladies! (L-all)

Sales of note for 9.10.24

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Comments

    • Ellen

      YAY! I love these b/c dad says that I look dumpy in flats. But I agree it is not easy to walk in NYC with 4 inch heels! FOOEY!

      I am behind in my billing so I can’t stay b/c I have 83 more hours to bill this week. But I wish the hive a great weekend! I want to get MARRIED now so I can just go shopping! Yay!

  2. Baconpancakes

    These sandals are so close… The ankle strap coming up from the single back strap instead of secured by two pieces on the side always still feels wobby and insecure to me.

  4. Uniqlo?

    Can someone tell me what Uniqlo quality is like? I’m looking for a knit blazer and they have some good options at nice price points.

    • Maddie Ross

      Mixed bag and it depends on the piece. I have a couple of silk shirts and a faux leather jacket from there I love. I also love their lightweight packable down coats. But then I have a pair of black jeans that totally faded out on the first wash and some other pieces that just feel cheap. If the blazers are cheap enough though, I’d go for it. I do like that uniqlo pieces are pretty basic.

      • la vie en bleu

        I agree. I would go in to a store and look at them in person before deciding. In fact, I looked at one of the knit blazers in the store and passed on it, because the finishing on the cuffs and the lapel were so flimsy it just didn’t lie flat and looked shoddy. But i don’t remember which one it was. I would still check them out in person because I like a couple other basics I have from there.

    • Basics

      Be prepared that although their pieces look so basic and great for everyone, they fit a particular body type (not mine). So you may find just the right item, but it may not fit you at all (and be so far off that tailoring can’t help).

    • LilyS

      The basic knitwear is excellent quality – I have a cardi and a thin hoodie which I bought in 2010 which ism till wearing. I’ve never worn anything out from there; it’s always washed well. The button-down shirts are pretty good, too.

  5. Asideralis

    I’ll be sending out an email to the group in DC for June’s meetup event. If you want to be included please email me at asideralis@gmail.com

    Also, I’m taking recommendations for happy hour in the district!

  6. doubting

    I have had a very rough time in the past year and a half. Some of the struggles have been related to being unemployed, which is a mix of a difficult academic job market and work visa issues. I’m in the process of applying for a university fellowship and not sure how to address this in my application i.e. there is a section where one can address interruptions/breaks in their career. In short, how does one address unemployment (9 months-1 year) in a job application?
    I’m also struggling with a lot of self doubt. My potential mentor at the university I am applying to has been supportive thus far i.e. looking at proposal drafts I have sent and offering comments. However, I feel exhausted, my journey thus far has been a slog. I earned my graduate degree far way from home and I now live halfway around the world from my family. The new position, if I got it would be in a really cool city, one that I would like to experience but that is also very far from my family. I’m at the point where I am starting to encounter some supportive people career-wise but at the same time I am about to give up because it feels too hard. How does one keep going?

    • Hope

      You don’t say how old you are but I am in my late 40’s so can maybe offer some perspective for you and others who are struggling. For most of us, it IS hard. I am now doing my “dream job” and then some but looking back I also felt this way, experienced many closed doors, bad economies, lack of mentors, you name it. You just keep keeping on. It took me 10 years to make one move I really wanted/needed to make. During that time I actually gave up on ever getting my dream job, redirected and worked happily for a few years and then unhappily for a few more in a related field. At one point, I screwed up really bad and almost got fired, took a job I didn’t want just to pay the bills, and then through some luck and good work got transferred to a job back in my original field. I said OK now that I’m back in this field, I’m going to try one more time to get the “dream job” – I’m giving myself 1 year and if I don’t make it this time, I’ll accept that it wasn’t meant to be. Six weeks later I was hired at a company that trained me specifically for the dream job. Things don’t progress on your timetable. Even if you have to take a job not in your field for awhile, it’s OK. You will learn things that you will use when you find your way back. And doing a great job at work – whatever your position – can lead to other opportunities. You will be fine.

    • Sarabeth

      Have you been doing anything at all in the interim? Adjuncting, RA positions, anything remotely academic-related? If so, I don’t think that it’s a big issue. Everyone knows the academic job market is crap, and will understand what has happened. I’ve been on job search committees in the last few years – many, many people have been adjuncting for a year or two since graduation. We don’t hold that against them at all. If not (and particularly if that’s been because of visa issues), maybe ask your advisor to address it in his letter of recommendation, with a line like “although visa issues have prevented Doubting from working in a formal capacity, she has maintained an active research agenda, as evidenced by…” (and then list whatever you’ve been able to do, maybe going to conferences of working on your own research or even stuff like attending journal club/reading groups).

      No magic advice on the self-doubt issue, except to reiterate that the academic job market is terrible, and if it’s been hard for you to get a job, that’s no reflection on your worth as a person/researcher/teacher. I mean, it’s totally find if you decide that dealing with this kind of constant rejection is not something you want to do for the rest of your career. That would be a very sane choice. But the rejection is not about you, it’s about the overall crisis of academic employment and funding.

      • Ssss

        I’m dealing with the same issue now, too (in a different field). I lost a job, had a 7 month gap, then finally got another firm job in a gross area of law, which I quit to go back to school… And I have another job search coming up.
        I’m coming to the conclusion that each member of a hiring committee has his/her own ideas on what are resume deal breakers. You only need one yes, and there’s not much you can do to change your experience. So, review your CV and other materials, then send out as many applications as you can, while researching alternative tracks to your goal.
        You have already set deadlines for yourself, so step up volume in the meantime b/c you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. I’ve been getting more interviews lately, which I could as a win, but no offers yet. Maybe it will work for you. Good luck

  7. SF in House

    This is a long shot, but worth a try! My in-laws live in central NJ (Metropark/Edison). We’d like to give them an organic produce box delivery, but don’t know of any providers. Anyone local with knowledge?

    • anomanom

      I am not local to NJ , but the place I order from has regional affiliates all over the country. Door to Door Organics is the company, and I have liked what I have received through them. Not always all local, but definitely all organic.

          • Wildkitten

            I think it’s just the noisy ads that crash browsers and the comments taking so long to not show up and people always showing up as anonymous make it more a hassle to come here and participate than has been the case in the past. I know Kat has been working on fixing it. I think folks will come back when the technical difficulties are fixed.

  9. vicarious shopping help

    I’m going to a party that is themed “purple”. No other guidelines, can be casual, it’s not a work event. I would like to wear a dress, probably knit or jersey. This is proving to be weirdly difficult to find. I’ve tried all the usual places online (Gap, Old Navy, Banana Republic, Anthro, etc) I’d like a maxi dress since I don’t have one but would be happy with something shorter, or maybe even a *gasp* romper. It can be solid or print, as long as it would be described as purple by a normal person. I’m a size 6-8, 5’8″ and would like to spend under $100 if possible. Thanks guys!

  10. No Longer Struggling

    I wanted to post an update to my comments on May 21. After a medication addition, I am feeling immensely better. Not “happy,” but at least hopeful. I was formerly feeling like life was unmanageable and overwhelming, and now at least I feel I can handle it. Thanks to everyone who commented and offered words of encouragement. I have a good support system to lean on, but in the end for me medicine has made the difference. It’s fairly incredible. I know that’s not the answer for every person and for every situation, but it helped me climb out of a dark hole.

  11. purplesneakers

    Does anyone have a recommendation for cheap-but-decent running shoes for a beginner?

    So in a fit of utter idiocy, I left my beloved purple sneakers at my mother’s house in India. I could ask her to ship them to me, but that seems kind of excessive given that they’re two years old and probably need replacing anyway.

    I’m looking for advice from any runners here- is it worth spending up to $150 for properly fitted sneakers from an actual shoe store, or will I be fine with 30-dollar shoes from Target? Since I’m in grad school, I’d rather not splurge without good reason, since I don’t run much (just starting c25k, otherwise I do weights or yoga) and I don’t have any major health issues.

    TIA!

    • Lavinia

      Yes, properly fitted running shoes are worth it if you want to avoid injury.

    • BB

      Honestly, if you can do the splurge, I would at least go up to the $100 mark. IMO it’s worth going to a good running/sports store and having them figure out which type of shoe is best for you. And I say this as a casual runner, but one who is in her late-20s and doesn’t want to get knee problems later on in life.

      Oh, and you’re right about your forgotten sneakers, 2 years is about the right time to throw them out (and a good reminder to me that I need to go sneaker shopping myself!).

    • Bonnie

      Shoes are key if you’re going to be running frequently. Wearing improper shoes can damage your feet, knees, hips and back. But there is a happy medium between target and $150 shoes. Once you get fitted and know the type of shoe that works with your gait, you can buy older versions on sites like amazon.

    • Annie

      If you’re planning on running regularly after the c25k, then yes, it is worth it to get the properly fitted running shoes. Go to a local running store and get fitted. Everyone’s feet are different, so getting shoes that work for your foot and running stride is super important to making running comfortable. A good pair of shoes should last 300-400 miles, so if you get them and then run 3x a week for 3 miles, they’ll last for almost a year, and some can be pushed longer than that.

      Once you get fitted once, you can probably find the shoes you’re looking for online for cheaper. Also, sometimes running stores will have old models of the shoes on sale, which are generally discounted.

    • PJ

      I don’t think you have to spend $100 to get a good pair of running shoes. I’d go somewhere and get fitted, then look around for an older model of the shoe that works best for you. Many running stores have these on sale, or you can shop online. I wear Mizunos and Asics and never spend over $100, and they aren’t the low-end model either. My last pair of Mizunos was actually $54

      • discount shopper

        Yeah, definitely. Once you know what works for you, you can find older models at 6PM, DSW, or Off-Broadway for a lot less.

    • KittyKat

      It depends on your feet/body. Do you have a high insole? Wide feet? Flat feet? Narrow heels? All those require special shoes. Do you have any alignment issues in your body? Scoliosis? Bummed knee? Slipped Disks? Also not all expensive shoes are 150+ my adidas run around 80ish and I can find sales to make them even less.

    • A

      You can get fitted, but you can have just as much luck going to a sporting good store and trying a bunch on until you find what feels good. I’ve had them fitted a few times at running stores and found the experience unremarkable. I abandoned them all for Nike frees, but you could probably figure out what kind of foot you have and do a little googling based on that.

    • bridget

      Do NOT get $30 Target shoes; at least go with a name-brand shoe that is designed for your foot and stride.

      Here’s how to do it cheaply (as $150 is probably outside your budget and you’re not doing that much running):

      1. Have your mom take a photo of the soles of your shoes.
      2. Examine your arches.
      3. Go to the Runner’s World Shoe Finder and plug in your height, weight, gender, arch height, and stride. (You find out the very last one from examining the wear pattern on your old sneakers. That’s what the photo is for.)
      4. Find a model of the recommended shoes on Amazon that is one season behind. For example, if they recommend the 6 of some brand, see if you can find the 5 in your size. This will get you shoes that are designed for your stride and feet and will cost about $60-$70.

  12. anon

    I’d love to hear advice on dealing with unemployment and job searching. I was laid off a month ago. It was totally unexpected. I had been promoted quickly after I was first hired, and I even received a significant raise the week before I was laid off. The department I was in was really tight knit, and I was the only one who was laid off during the restructuring, so it was hard not to take it personally when I was let go. My boss disengaged from interacting with me much the last week I was there (which made me feel paranoid about what was going on, and as it turned out, my gut instinct was correct, sadly). She wasn’t there when I was laid off, so it felt messy and extra sad after the effort I had put into our relationship over the years. She was dysfunctional in many ways, and I put up with a lot, but I still thought she had my back. I never thought it would turn out like this.

    I’ve been job searching and have had some interviews, but of course, these things take time, and it’s tough to keep showing up and having confidence. I do my best to be an enthusiastic candidate, but I’m more of an introvert, so it’s difficult. I’ve been in my field for about eight years and wonder if I’ll find a job that is satisfying and rewarding, where I can feel valued and respected for what I do. My last job often felt like being in a shark tank. Everyone was constantly blaming each other and gossiping. I still feel like I’m recovering from being around the constant negativity.

    If you have any bounce-back stories to share, please do. I could use some encouragement.

    • D. Meagle

      I previously worked for a company that was toxic. I cried on a regular basis (both at home and at work), self-medicated most nights, and suffered from migraines and stomach aches because of the stress. Due to economic factors, business started drying up and I was eventually laid off. I was unemployed for about nine months. It was rough on my ego, and many times I thought I would never be gainfully employed again. Then I got a new job, and it was great. I work with and for decent people and clients, doing challenging work. I’ve been here five years. I’ve moved a few times, so even though my commute keeps getting worse and worse, I am not looking for a new job because I know I’ve got it pretty good where I am. No more crying, self-medicating or illness :)

      What kept me sane during my unemployment was sticking to a schedule. Getting up at a normal time every day, hitting the gym, forcing myself to shower, get dressed and put on some makeup. I gave myself tasks every day — apply for jobs, go grocery shopping, make dinner — just so I could feel like I accomplished something. Plus, a good chunk of my unemployment fell during the summer, so I went to the beach a lot. By the time I started working again, I was in great shape and had an amazing tan.

      It will happen for you. Stay positive, and soak up some vitamin D outside!

    • Anon

      When I was laid off I immediately registered to take another bar exam and started working per diem for attorneys in my area. If you are in law, it might be something to look into just to keep you from beating yourself up. It’s very easy to feel overwhelmed and depressed when you don’t have something to do everyday and you’re worried about finding an income. Even if you aren’t in law, reaching out to everyone in your network can be very helpful. Can you set up coffee, lunch or drink meetings? It’s always worth a shot and you never know who is hiring, but not posting a job listing. Also, it sounds like your previous company was a mess and this could be the best thing for you! You can job search while (hopefully) getting unemployment to make ends meet. You never know what the future holds and being as positive as possible can really make a difference.

    • Robin

      So sorry this happened. It is really hard, and to feel any other way would be fooling yourself- so acknowledge what you are going through is natural and okay. And you WILL work again, so remember that and try to work in some pleasant stuff during the time off. I am on the run with visiting family this weekend so can’t write at length but I wrote up some tips on layoff/job search in my new book gathered from what I’ve experienced myself and seen with others over the years- happy to send you a copy if it helps. robinlakebooks(at)gmail.com

    • East Coast Anon

      Maintaining a positive attitude is the number one thing that got me through when I was laid off. Keep your head up. You will land on your feet.

      • Ssss

        I had a pretty similar situation, too. Being unemployed sucks and all of the down time is rough on your confidence. If you can afford it, I’d recommend working with a career coach… A good coach will keep you on track and help you address your confidence in ways that will counteract the negative voices in your bead.
        Also, you will get boatloads of bad but well intentioned advice: read captain awkward for tips on deflection…. The oversimplified happy crappy inapplicable advice lways made me feel the worst of all.

  13. biotin?

    I’m desperate. My hair has gone from thick and full to stringy and fragile over the past few years. My doctor has ruled out any health issues, so this is purely for vanity’s sake, but I’m surprised at how much it bothers me to no longer have my thick, healthy hair.

    Has anyone taken biotin to help strengthen/thicken hair? What were the results? Any other ideas? I’m apprehensive about Rogaine, but otherwise I’ll try anything.

    • Anonymous

      I did biotin for a while, but it made me break out, which I hated more than having thinner hair, so I stopped taking it. I didn’t take it long enough to see results, I started breakout out within a couple weeks.

      • LAnon

        I had the same issue with biotin – couldn’t figure out why I was breaking out so badly and then found it as a side effect online and immediately stopped… it look a month or so for my skin to get back to normal.

    • SuziStockbroker

      Do you dye your hair? I notice my dyed hair is thinner than the non-dyed part.

    • Katherine

      Are you under stress? How’s your thyroid and adrenal glands? Excess stress can cause hair loss! I would do the following: 1. eliminate the cause of your stress 2. take an adaptogenic herb, like ginseng 3. drink a lot of stinging nettle tea with a small pinch of horsetail (both contain ingredients that will make your hair thick and lustrous 4. prepare a double batch of the nettle/horsetail tea and use half as a hair rinse after you shampoo and condition. Add a pinch of apple cider vinegar before dumping it over your head. Don’t rinse!

  14. Anonymous

    I have a pair of shoes just like this from Madden Girl. The heels are really high for me (3.5″+ I think) but they are surprisingly comfortable and easy to walk in.

  15. Anon1234

    Any recommendations for movers in NoVA? I just have a small move (one-bedroom, within the same city). Thanks!

  16. Start-up / tech career advice?

    Anyone here have start-up experience? I’m at a bit of a crossroads and feel like I want to at least begin moving in one direction or another, but I’m really struggling to decide which direction to move in…

    I joined the start-up I work for now a couple years ago when we were still in development – we create a somewhat niche software plug-in targeted at a specific industry. I joined very early on in an executive role and have an equity stake in the company, although my stake is relatively small. The company is doing OK: we have solid funding, just under 30 employees, and a handful of customers.

    However, there are two major problems for me… one is that I really have struggled with the overall atmosphere. There are 4 other people in executive roles; I am the only woman and the youngest by far. Although they are all nice and respectful to me, I clearly don’t belong in their club, an issue exacerbated by the fact that some of them have known each other 20+ years. So, work is pretty lonely… I get along well with the team that I have hired and our other employees, but I don’t have any “work friends” since I don’t want to create awkwardness (or further ostracize myself from the executive team) by hanging out and socializing with my employees. The other problem is that we are struggling to gain traction in the market. We got some beta customers, and then… not much. I know I am being a little impatient (we reached GA in March 2014, and our sales team estimates the sales cycle to be ~9 months), but I worry about the future of the product – to be honest, I’m not sure that what we’ve created is competitive. We get a lot of enthusiastic feedback from potential partners and investors but we just aren’t signing sales contracts. At this point, we are very well-funded and I earn a solid salary.

    I have had a few job offers recently, which have made me reconsider my role in this company. I would earn a comparable salary but likely without equity / stock, although the potential for incentive bonuses is better. I know I would enjoy the cultural fit better at two of the organizations, and I also know I would enjoy the work a lot more. (I don’t particularly enjoy the work I am currently doing.)

    So, I’m having a very difficult time weighing pros and cons – at my current job, the present state is fairly miserable but with a potential 7 to 8-figure upside for me IF I stick with it and IF it works out. (This would probably be 3-4 years out if we can gain some traction.) At alternative jobs, a much more pleasant current state but without the potential for a major upside in a few years.

    For now, I am dealing with my misery at work by focusing on other things – doing fun things on the weekends, trying to schedule a lunch with a non-work friend at least once/week, making sure I have good playlists to listen to, getting extra exercise, etc. But it feels like a bit of a band-aid and I don’t think it’s sustainable in the long term.

    Anyone have experience with start-ups? What sort of difficult phases did you run into, and how did you stick them out? I’m trying to figure out if these doldrums are a natural part of growing the company, or a sign that it won’t be worth sticking around.

    (Sorry, this got super long.)

    • anon

      Start-ups can be very hit or miss. Volatility is usually the name of the game. I’d evaluate how much you think the company will realistically grow in the next 3-4 years and decide whether that provides enough incentive for you to stay.

    • M-C

      My resume is full of defunct start-ups, so that should tell you where my bias lies :-). Statistically, the odds aren’t good, especially if you can’t see any real product longevity. Actually, the odds are atrocious. Never, ever let them miss a paycheck..

      That said, I’ve really enjoyed working in most of them. You can do whatever you want technically, you can learn till you burst, chances are you have at last functional relationships with interesting people. I’ve never had a startup snarl about me putting something new I’m learning into practice, or object to my learning something to begin with, not like you have to beg in larger institutions. So for your career advancement, and to explore new directions, I think startups are the bomb.

      However, you use the word ‘misery’ in describing your situation. Now that is a very bad thing. You’re no longer getting any of those startup benefits if that’s how you feel. Even if this one was the very rare one that happened to pay off, would it be worth sacrificing your happiness for? You’re pretty much sacrificing your career if you stay in a miserable situation. I’d say get out, get out now while you can. Call back those 2 companies you think you’d be happier at, and talk to them seriously. Keep your worthless stock if you can, you never know :-), but get out no matter what.

      On the other hand, the position of a tech woman is always going to be at least somewhat lonely. Don’t think work is where you get your close friends, it can happen but it’s unusual, and it’s not even necessarily a good thing. Don’t make yourself miserable over a fallacy. Don’t quit a good job over just feeling lonely, work on your real life instead.

      Confused yet :-)? It’s a complex topic.. but your gut feelings should be the final word.

      • Start-up / tech career advice?

        Thanks very much for this. You make a lot of very good points. You’re right that I’m not getting a lot of the start-up benefits anymore. I definitely learned a lot in the first 18 months since this has been my first start-up experience, but the last several months have been stagnant in terms of learning and growth opportunity since the company has been somewhat stagnant. That has been compounded by the loneliness issue – not a lot of cool stuff to work on, and no one to really even chit chat with makes for looonngg days. (At larger companies I’ve worked at, I at least has work buddies to eat lunch with and talk about TV shows, even though you’re right that there’s always a bit of isolation) So I think I should probably stop basing my decisions on the slim likelihood of success and focus on what is best for my career NOW. Thank you!!

    • West Coast

      If you are not getting any actual action from potential partners or investors, I’d start to think about moving on. Everyone likes to tell start-ups that they have a great product, because that’s easy… no need to back it up with any commitment.

      I’d explore the other options; if they look like they are interesting and the pay is good, I would go for it.

      • Start-up / tech career advice?

        Thank you – a very good point, we seem to have meeting after meeting with investors and partners, they are all super enthusiastic… but never actually seem to lead anywhere except another meeting. I’m glad to hear these unbiased opinions – I’ve been in my own head about this for so long that it’s gotten hard to see what’s right in front of me!

    • Former Partner, Now In-House

      It sounds as if you are feeling professionally isolated. Not sure where you are, but there may be other women with startup experience near you.

      One place to start is the AIPLA Women in IP network. Here is a link:

      http://www.aipla.org/committees/committee_pages/women_in_ip_law/Pages/default.aspx

      In my experience, these women (many lawyers, but also STEM inventors, founders and executives) are a good support system. I bet if you reached out, you could connect with local women with whom you could interact, both to feel less isolated and to bounce around ideas.

      Each Spring, law firms across the country host a synchronized dinner (in most time zones) event for women in IP near them. It was a couple weeks ago, but see if you can find the firm that hosted near you and reach out the the attorneys there to get connected.

      Good luck.

    • moss

      Bail, now, while you have good offers. The potential $$ are not worth the present, tangible misery.

  17. TravelAnon

    Can anyone recommend a reliable doctor (GP) or practice in Seattle, preferable in Downtown/ Space Needle/ South Lake Union/ Queen Anne? Looking for a place that treats patients like people and not just income.

    • SaSo

      UW Neighborhood Ballard clinic opened recently. The front desk service is OK bit I loved Dr Laura Montour. Sure, she probably just finished residency. But she is very attentive and doesn’t treat you like an idiot. She spent a good amount of time with me and asked a lot of questions about my health. Drs always assume because I look young and work out, I haven’t a problem in the world, which has been difficult to break through.

      If Ballard is too far, try the UW Belltown clinic. You should be able to find a younger dr that hasn’t lost faith in humanity yet.

  18. Anonymous

    I’m considering buying a house. Poll time! Those of you who own a home, how much is your monthly mortgage? How much is your income? Where do you live? I make ~$170k and am looking at taking on a mortgage that would make my monthly payments ~$1800/month. I live in a big city in a flyover state.

    • Anonymous

      We’re in a coastal city now but moving to a small city (~100K population) in the Midwest. Our mortgage will be just under $2K a month (10 years) and our combined income will be about $170K. So, very similar to your situation.

    • Anonattorney

      Our mortgage, including property tax and insurance, is $2k. Our combined income is about $135k right now, but husband is in school. PNW

    • Anonymous

      Our mortage + tax + insurance is just under $2k in Maryland just outside DC (like, JUST outside). When we bought the house we were earning about $130k combined but had a significant down payment.

    • Anon

      Outside a large city in Western U.S. Our mortgage, including taxes and insurance, is $3100 (15 year mortgage). Combined income about $350k. FWIW, as far as affordability, we could pay more but like to keep this expense relatively low and prioritize other spending/saving.

    • ace

      Chicago suburbs in our “forever house” (or at least until the preschooler/toddler graduate from high school): $4K monthly payment (principal, interest, taxes, insurance) and combined income of $380K salary + bonuses ($80K last year).
      Intentionally bought at a level we could support on a smaller salary since I’m making Biglaw money now but probably won’t forever.

    • DCR

      In DC, my income is 230k plus bonus. I pay $2,400 monthly (principal, interest, taxes, and insurance).

    • CountC

      I live in central PA, my mortgage is $900/mo, and I make $70k/year plus bonus. When I bought my house, I was making $110k.

  19. Anonymous

    Does anyone else get a lot of pain in their thumbs and fingers after spending all day at work at the computer? I’m a junior litigation attorney and do a lot of doc review, which is just click-click-click for hours at a time with little typing. I’ve started swapping my mouse between my left and right hand throughout the day, taking breaks, and using different fingers to click. But it’s not helping. By the end of every day the tendons or whatever in my forefinger, middle finger, and thumb just hurt like crazy! Half the time I can’t even straighten my forefinger… it’s just stuck in a bent position. Then after rest at night my hands are okay again the next morning and the process restarts.

    I know this sounds ridiculous, but it’s really becoming a problem. Any ideas on how to fix this?

    • M-C

      It looks like I’m replying to the hat question, but I really mean to reply to the painful fingers one..
      You’re not ridiculous, you’re totally right to pay attention now, before you get totally crippled! Unfortunately, attorneys aren’t treated as the keyboard workers they have become, and this can lead to some really severe RSI.. Google ‘rsi prevention’ for a lot of advice like this snappy one http://www.rsi.deas.harvard.edu/preventing.html In my hand-surgeon ex brother-in-law’s opinion, dorsi-flexion is the surest path to carpal tunnel problems, and I have to say that since I’ve retrained myself complely out of it I’ve been much better. Check out this page http://www.rsiprevention.com/rsi_prevention.php for good pictures of how not to hold your hands.. It may help to get a different keyboard – are you using a cramped, flat laptop keyboard? More googling :-) – ‘favorite developer keyboard’, nothing like a bunch of engineers addressing a problem that’ll put them out of work. Here’s a good example of thorough review http://thewirecutter.com/reviews/comfortable-ergo-keyboard/ I personally much favor keyboards that allow a more natural angle to the hands. Don’t overlook the general seating position too – law offices often supply you with manager chairs that don’t support your back enough, or that are designed for 7′ men, and I’ve hardly ever seen a keyboard tray in a legal context, something which I consider essential. Don’t hesitate to supply your own adjustable chair (used is fine..) and better keyboard/mouse, it’s better than arguing with old legal fossils about what you need now.
      If things are not immediately better, and you’re lucky enough to have a private office, consider dragon, a very good voice-recognition system that comes in a specifically-legal version and has saved the hands of several people I know.
      Equipment apart, let me point out a small thing: they say ‘hit a key’ but it really should be ‘press’. If you’re one of those people who pounds the keyboard like you were Hemingway, make a conscious effort to lighten up. All those fragile little joints will thank you.
      I know, I keep advising changing yourself, but really, if you’re going to be better, you must. Your body is speaking to you, please be good to it! Good luck Anonymous, don’t -endure-..

      • Another Junior Lawyer

        A keyboard is irrelevant in document review. You’re never typing anything. Just clicking on stuff with the mouse. And you have to click a certain spot on the screen to select the correct tag, so voice recognition is also inapplicable.

    • roses

      A lot of firms offer free ergonomic consultations. Contact your HR; you might be able to get fitted for special hand rests, a mouse, etc.

      • anon

        Where do you work??? I asked for a certain type of desk that was commonly available at my old firm and HR gave me a look like I had 3 heads. If you work in a law firm I’d be surprised the HR department wanted to spend firm money to make you comfortable. That deducts from partners’ profits.

        • Hdiwhwn

          Paying people who are out on disability deducts from their profits too… My law firm has an ergonomic consultant who will come on request and make sure your computer set-up is correct.

    • Anonymity

      Doc review is the worst for hand and wrist pain! In addition to ergonomic consultation, look to see if there are any keyboard shortcuts for your doc review software. My issue has always been that once the pain starts I need a week or two off before I can figure out whether the ergonomic fixes actually work.

    • Trish

      Evoluent.com
      It is an upright mouse that saved my forearm, neck, and back. Worth the 90 dollars.

    • anon

      My arms from my elbow down to my hands went numb taking the bar and I had the same problems during an expedited doc review (8 am to 2 am–not a typo–for 6 weeks straight, every day). I figured out that the tension in my shoulders and upper back from the stress, hunching, etc., can contribute to the pain in the hands. So get a massage and see if that helps. It did for me. Also, see if IT can set up short cuts or if the program itself has short cuts. Not sure what platform you are using but relativity can be a real pain in the a** for requiring 6 fields to be filled out before you can save your changes to that doc. However, there is a shortcut where it will pre-fill exactly what you did before so it saves you clicks (1 instead of 5). Look for things like that. Also, when I got real desperate to ease up on the repetition, I found a way to incorporate the arrows on my keyboard and just started using a pencil to push the buttons (again, anything to change the repetition of the exact same motion). Finally, more importantly, hang in there. I know it can be difficult and tedious, but if you get a sense from the docs what is going on you can often make valuable contributions to the case because you know the facts (i.e., I once had to explain to the partners that the person they wanted to use as the star witness to explain the negotiating history of a deal actually wasn’t really involved in the negotiations. another person was. although they were reluctant to go with the 2d guy cause the 1st guy presented better, ultimately, you gotta put on the witness who has personal knowledge. made the whole freakin experience worth it).

  20. meme

    I’m looking for a hat with a brim all around to take on a tropical vacation. It needs to be able to squish/fold into luggage and backpacks without being ruined. Bonus points if it is cute, but utility is essential. Has anyone seen something lately that fits the bill?

  21. Anon

    Ladies, a question – can you spot fake designer products when you see them?

    • meme

      Ha ha, not me, but I’m generally clueless and 95% of the time I don’t know when I’m looking at a “designer” product (real or fake).

    • AIMS

      Depends on the fake. Some – from a mile away. Others – not even on close inspection. I’d say – ethics of fakes aside – if you want a fake that will “pass” for the real deal, be prepared to spend some money.

    • KittyKat

      I can almost always spot a fake. I never understood them. Why spend a few hundred on a fake Chanel when you can go to an artisan leather worker and get a bag that is perfect for you and will last a life time? Plus you know it helps the economy and is ethical.

    • Wildkitten

      I had a fake bag in college and nobody could ever tell the difference. I ended up buying the same bag, in real, when I had some money and it looked exactly the same.

      • Anonymous

        I think in college less people would be able to. I spot fakes often but I suppose if it was really good I cant say Ive noticed it was fake since I only remember when I notice fakes

  22. Katherine

    Thought I’d share my story about my professional woes. :-)

    I started my freelance writing business in 2002 back when I was a young military wife two years into the marriage. I loved in Munich, Germany at the time. For the duration of my marriage, I remained self employed. Two years ago, we decided to divorce and I had a hard time getting my bearings professionally. There have been MANY twists and turns and the largest roadblock occurred because I had burned myself out – I didn’t want to write anymore. I found one fantastic client by chance (thanks to my mom) and after about nine months of working together, he brought me on the team at his business full time. Prior to this I had contemplated going back to school, changing fields entirely, and was in a constant state of (secret) panic. I moved in with my parents and I’m actually still there. I always believe that things work out, and they do. :-) I’m on a very nice career path now that effectively uses my skill set without causing burnout.

  23. Trish

    I am tired of my eyeshadow breaking up into pieces before it is even a third gone. And I am tired of eyeshadow that doesn’t stay on my eyelid all day. Any recommendations for eyeshadow that stays both in the container and on your eyes?

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